Pheaturing Lizzo

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Did you have a good weekend? I did. The Hallmark Channel had a stressful weekend, to say the least. Everyone's second-favorite cheesy Christmas movie manufacturer (after Lifetime, of course) found itself in a major PR storm after banning a series of ads that featured women kissing each other. The company has since lifted the ban, and even apologized to its LGBT+ viewers. It all started with the ads. The commercials, which are for wedding website Zola, first aired on Dec. 2nd. They were part of a series of six ads featuring a cast of brides and grooms, including one lesbian couple. Four of the ads showed the lesbian couple kissing, according to the New York Times. A conservative group called One Million Moms found the kiss provocative. They published an online petition requesting that Hallmark remove the ad so that it didn't titillate them any further. The group wrote as part of the petition, "Parents need to know they could now come face-to-face with the LGBT agenda when they sit down to watch the Hallmark Channel. Family entertainment is not the outlet in which to be politically correct by forcing tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality... a sinful lifestyle that Scripture clearly deems as wrong. You can read so in Romans 1:18-32." Hallmark Channel pulled the ads on Thursday, Dec. 12nd. The network told Zola they'd have to remove the commercials from the airwaves because they were "controversial." From the New York Times, "Asked to explain why the ads had been rejected, an employee of Hallmark’s parent company said the channel did not accept ads 'that are deemed controversial,' according to an email exchange shared with The New York Times. A spokesman for Hallmark said the women’s 'public displays of affection' violated the channel’s policies, but he declined to comment on why a nearly identical ad featuring a bride and groom kissing was not rejected." The backlash was swift. People weren't buying the "controversial" excuse. They quickly pointed out that if there's anything controversial about two women pecking on the lips, it's rooted in homophobia, not "family values." People began voicing their disappointment and their confusion over what "American values" the commercials were thwarting. After a weekend of controversy, Hallmark reversed the ban. The channel also apologized to LGBT+ viewers. GLAAD's president and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis applauded Hallmark for reversing its decision. "The Hallmark Channel’s decision to correct its mistake sends an important message to LGBTQ people and represents a major loss for fringe organizations, like One Million Moms, whose sole purpose is to hurt families like mine. LGBTQ. people are, and will continue to be, a part of advertisements and family programming, and that will never change.” And LGBT+ Hallmark fans rejoiced. Now, even the president of GLAAD is encouraging people to give Hallmark another chance. All in all, good news for anyone who finds Netflix's crappy Christmas movie selection wanting.
For the past few years, we've been made well-aware of the vulnerabilities of baby monitors, as they've been hijacked repeatedly by pranksters looking to give a scare to youngster's parents. Now a more modern device is causing brand new chills. Ring security cameras promise to add a level of safety for you and your loved ones through video and audio monitoring. But as one family recently learned when their daughter's camera was hacked, that security isn't always guaranteed. The LeMay family was horrified to discover that the Ring camera in their 8-year-old daughter Alyssa's room was hacked by a stranger. The family had installed the camera days earlier as a safety measure since she suffers from seizures. The hacker had an eerie conversation with the child for ten minutes. When Alyssa walked into her bedroom, she was greeted with a male voice calling out "Hello there." She looked for the source of the voice, which began shouting the N-word at her. Alyssa kept trying to figure out the source as they continued to talk. The stranger told her that he was her "best friend" and "Santa Claus" and she grew frightened and alerted her mother to the voice. Ring has released a statement that their security isn't compromised. They are encouraging customers to avoid repeating passwords across devices. The company stated "when the same username and password is reused on multiple services its possible for bad actors to gain access to many accounts." But also assured customers "this incident is in no way related to a breach or compromise of Ring’s security." However, the LeMay family is not alone. A number of similar incidents have been reported in recent weeks including Ring camera hacks in Georgia and Florida. With new privacy concerns surrounding Ring cameras, people are reconsidering the devices for their home. While others agree with Ring and think the problem is easily avoidable with authentication. In the meantime, we can hold out hopes that if you are hacked, the stranger has good intentions... like giving you compliments.
After more than three months, two young California boys finally received justice. In August of 2019, two young boys were assaulted by a grown man in Target. The offender was 51-year-old Jeff Hardcastle. In CCTV footage shared by CBS Sacramento, Hardcastle can be seen hitting an 11-year-old boy from behind and punching a 5-year-old boy in the face, knocking him to the ground. The attack was completely unprovoked. The two children were innocently playing video games in the store when they were attacked. After Hardcastle attacked them, the youngest boy was carried off to safety. Now, nearly four months after the traumatic attack, Hardcastle has been sentenced to almost ten years in prison. Now that he has been sentenced, police have released the footage of the violence. Upon watching it, people are in shock at the senseless act of violence. Others do not think he would have even made it to sentencing had they been around. According to The New York Post Hardcastle pleaded “no contest to assault and causing great bodily injury to a minor.” His plea deal also included a plea of “guilty” to a 2008 violent robbery.
This past Wednesday, December 11th, President Trump signed an executive order intended to attack pro-Palestine “#BoycottIsrael” movements on college campuses. The order initially gained massively negative attention for its alleged redefinition of Judaism as a nationality rather than religion. The final version of the order contained no such language, though many are still critical of the bill’s scope and the potential motivations behind it. Signaling Trump’s lack of actual empathy for the spread of antisemitism, he signed his executive order at a White House Hanukkah reception and invited a Christian evangelical leader with a long history of hateful comments towards Judaism to speak. Among those in attendance at the reception were Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, Alan Dershowitz, a Harvard professor and Trump supporter, and Pastor Robert Jeffress. Jeffress, who Trump referred to as a “tremendous faith leader,” often appears on cable news and has described Trump as “the most pro-faith President in history.” Trump previously chose Jeffress to open the new U.S. embassy in Israel. In 2010, however, Jeffress described Islam and Mormonism as “a heresy from the pit of hell.” He went on to say of Judaism: “Judaism... you can’t be saved being a Jew.” But that’s not all. In a 2009 sermon, Jeffress said, “Not only do religions like Mormonism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, not only do they lead people away from the true God, they lead people to an eternity of separation from God in hell. You know, Jesus was very clear. Hell is not only going to be populated by murderers and drug dealers and child abusers. Hell is going to be filled with good religious people who have rejected the truth of Christ.” It’s fairly obvious why Trump was eager for Jeffress to speak at a Hanukkah reception... not his faith, but his support of the President himself. On "Fox & Friends" earlier this year, Jeffress said the country would suffer a “Civil War-like fracture” if Trump was impeached and removed from office. He also claimed Democrats worship Gods that sacrifice children. Jeffress also attacked climate activist and frequent Trump target Greta Thunberg. For his part, Trump hasn’t been shy about what draws him to Jeffress. At the Hanukkah reception, the President commented, “I’d watch him on different shows, and I’d say, ‘I like that guy. Man, he talks really great about me.' And I like people that talk well about me."
On Wednesday, teen climate activist Greta Thunberg was named Time Person of the Year for 2019. The annual distinction is at times seen as an award, but not all the “people of the year” are necessarily positive contributors to society. More often the choice reflects the amount of influence a person or the movement surrounding them has had one society. In Thunberg’s case, it’s her ability to mobilize huge groups of people, adults and children, into climate activists themselves. In August of 2018, Thunberg began skipping school every Friday and sitting outside of Swedish Parliament with a sign that read "Skolstrejk för klimatet" or “School Strike for Climate.” Since then, her movement has grown, and millions of people all over the world joined her in a strike for the climate last summer. Greta’s journey started when she was about 11, and learned of the impending climate crisis. She was stunned that it seemed like no one was doing anything about it, and the situation pushed her into a deep depression. Her parents responded by making changes in their own lifestyle, like giving up meet and airplanes and committing to solar energy at home, and she began to come out of it as she realized there was something she could do. Thunberg has Asperger’s, an autism spectrum disorder, and she has said that if she were a neurotypical person, she might not have had that intense reaction to the bad news about the planet. She would have been able to compartmentalize it more easily. It’s also given her an intense focus on the work she has to do to get what she wants. So, Thunberg has become an advocate for other people with Asperger’s as well, openly discussing how being different can make you more powerful. This has all been very triggering for conservatives, especially the old straight white male variety. There’s something about a serious teen girl who can’t be swayed by taunts or jeers that just makes them rage. Thunberg receives death threats, has been attacked by Donald Trump, compared to Nazi propaganda, and also been weirdly sexualized by these creeps. And now they’re losing it over her acknowledgement in Time...

Like Trump Jr., many conservatives have focused on the fact that the Hong Kong protestors were on the shortlist for the award, and are covering their distaste for Thunberg with faux outrage over them being passed over for a teen girl. But most are just being sarcastic and weird. They’re mad because they’re scared, and they should be... Thunberg’s message is important to a whole lot of people.
Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Hmmm... maybe not. Do you know your neighbors? Ever receive or leave a note like this one?

I hope not. You kids know about the Elf on the Shelf, right? Well, sometimes that Elf just goes a little bit too far.

I have no idea what they are doing. Hahahaha. I like it the troll is watching or waiting for his turn. Do you like Hot Pockets? Well, there's a brand new flavor that just came out..,

Yum? Haha. Now malt vinegar ones would be great. If you're looking for an idea for your loved ones the Sears catalogue has a good deal for exercise videotapes.

Check them out. A lot of people are fans of the Harry Potter movies and rave about the special effects. I saw the movies before and not so thrilled about the effects... they've been known to take short cuts.

See what I mean? So, when I saw the map of the U.K. 2019 election results it reminded me of something...

Then it hit me...

Hahahaha. Genius, right? So, did your kid write a letter to Santa yet? Some kids this year are pretty slick in their letters. Kids are soooo much different than when I was a kid...

Hahahaha. So, I mentioned at the top of this entry of the Phile about the Hallmark Channel banning ads with a lesbian wedding kiss after conservative pressure. Well, Hallmark almost changed its name...

Hahahaha. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Things Said By Parents Who Aren't Feeling The Holiday Spirit
5. I’m starting to wonder if its time to do away with the collective idea that Santa drives a sleigh guided by flying reindeer, and just tell my kids the truth: Santa drives a UPS or FedEx truck, and he is guided by people shopping Prime in their underwear.
4. My teenager asked for a $400 gaming system for Christmas, so guess who's waking up Christmas morning with a stocking full of job applications?
3. If you're stuck on what to get your kids for Christmas this year, my kids just spent the better part of the evening entertaining themselves with an empty Doritos bag. Empty. Doritos. Bag.
2. I don't do Elf on the Shelf because if I want someone to sit in silent judgement of my family with a fake smile on their face, I'll just invite my mother over.
And the number one things said by parents who aren't feeling the holiday spirit is...
1. Drove our kids around town to look at Christmas lights but they brought an iPad so they could watch a different kid drive around his town looking at lights.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, deciding what to bring a white elephant gift exchange can be ridiculously stressful. While most work-related white elephant exchanges have a price cap to prevent people from getting salty over the disparity between expensive and cheap gifts, there's still a wide variety of options to choose from. Some people opt to go the funny route to ease the stress of buying a gift for a colleague. While few people desperately want a whoopee cushion of a made-for-TV junk utensil, they would look silly complaining about something obviously meant as a joke. Others go the safe route, buying candles or soft socks or something universally useful and pleasant that they themselves wouldn't mind receiving. And then, there are the few, the terrible, who somehow find a way to royally mess up the basic pleasantries of a white elephant party. A bride-to-be  got thoroughly roasted when she asked if it was tacky to give a wedding invitation as a white elephant gift. She sent me an email asking what do I think...

"Would it be wrong if I brought an invitation to my wedding as a white elephant gift?" She kicked off the email by sharing that she'll be getting married next year, and the first batch of invitations went out. Because she and her fiancé both have big families, most of her coworkers haven't been invited. But after receiving an inevitable batch of "nos" from out-of-towners, she plans to add a few to the list.
"Getting married early next year. Invitations just went out, but a lot of people from work fell on the 'B' list because we both have big families who live out of town who get first priority. A very small number of work friends have been invited already. Once we get 'no' RSVPs from people out of town, we’ll replace those spots with work friends." Since a lot of those "B-list" work friends will be present at an upcoming holiday party, she thought it might be fun to give a wedding invitation as her white elephant gift. "Going to a Christmas party at someone’s home with a lot of these work friends this weekend, where there will be a White Elephant gift exchange. Would it be wrong if I brought an invitation to my wedding as my white elephant gift?" However, she shared she fears it could cause tension and jealousy among the other party attendees who aren't invited. "I can see it either as a cute way to invite someone at an earlier stage... or it could highlight that some people haven’t been invited, make people feel like they have to beg and dance for an invite, and make people feel way worse if they don’t make the final cut." Well, I don't think it's a good idea for her to go through with this horrific plan, it would be fascinating to hear how badly it would be received.

The Sun got burned. So, a friend of the Phile leads such an exciting life sometimes. He has a great story that happened to him this past weekend that I want him to share wait you all. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

Catching the train back home this morning, after a fun filled weekend with family and love ones. Train is crowded with commuters on their way to work. As I sit down, I notice this young man sitting across the aisle, next row up from me. He’s sitting in the aisle seat, empty window seat next to him. Laptop open, wireless earpiece, cell phone in hand. He’s typing away with his left hand on his laptop, holding his cell in his right and having a loud conversation on the phone with someone so the entire car can hear... what bothered me was the next part. Next to him, on the floor was a large reusable shopping bag, roughly two feet by one foot by two feet tall. The bag was quite literally taking up most of the aisle. I figure he’s just your garden variety selfish asshole and I ignore him. I thought I would hold out hope that he was getting off before me, so it would be a non issue. After several stops an elderly woman with a cane begins to make her way down the aisle and stops. She briefly struggles to make her way around the large bag blocking the aisle before politely saying, “Pardon me sir, could you please move your bag so I can get by?” Without even looking up at her, he snaps back with  “Jesus, lady... just walk around it... it’s not THAT difficult.” Now, he has my undivided attention... I stand up and say, “Allow me to be of some assistance.” I then punt his bag down the aisle like an NFL kicker, spilling the contents all the way to the end of the car. He looks up and shouts, “Dude, what the fuck?!” I snatched his cell phone, dropped it to the floor and shot it down the aisle like Mark Messier going for a goal at the Stanley Cup finals. He stands up and screams, “Are you fucking crazy?!!” By now, I have the attention of the entire car... and the elderly woman is smiling at me... telling me to calm down, that he’s not worth the trouble. Several people are gasping and saying things like.. “Oh my God, this guy’s gonna kill him any minute.” I decided to answer his question thusly,  “According to my latest psychological evaluation, yes... quite so... but that’s not important at the moment. What IS important is that you learned a rather costly lesson in why you should be more respectful of those around you... why you shouldn’t be so self absorbed in a public setting... but mostly, why you should sit down and shut the fuck up before I drop kick your laptop down the aisle then shatter your nose like a Christmas ornament at a frat party.” He sat down, the old lady thanked me, several people applauded... and I took a bow and blew kisses to the other commuters as I made my way back to my seat.

When you're really cold and shivering a bit, you'll find your shoulders are tensed up and elevated. Relax your shoulders and bring them down to your sides. It's weird, but it makes you stop shivering and feel much warmer.

It might seem odd, but it looks like President Donald Trump’s campaign team has decided to compare the politician to one of the biggest genocidal villains in comic book movie history. Taking to Twitter on the very same day that the House of Representatives introduced two new articles of impeachment against Trump, the President’s campaign team decided to take to Twitter to share a video of Trump as Avengers: Endgame villain Thanos. In the video, fans get to see Trump’s head superimposed over the Mad Titan’s own skull as Thanos snaps his fingers reminding the Avengers that “I am inevitable.”

Now, the Twitter community is busy making fun of the post. Not only does the video compare the President to a comic book villain who took away the lives of half the living population of the entire universe, but it also uses a clip from Endgame where the arrogant Mad Titan doesn’t realize that he was actually about to be beaten by Iron Man. Responding to the post, netizens share GIFs of the scene where Tony Stark reveals Thanos’ inevitable defeat. They have also been sharing edited pictures of the Tony Stark snap sequence where Tony’s face is replaced with a picture of the U.S. Constitution. President Trump really needs to get a better campaign team. We can only wonder what Disney might think about Thanos being used for a political campaign.

The 110th book, and the last for this year, to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Demi will be on the Phile this Friday.

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what kind of car you get will depend on your answer." The first guy walks up and Peter asks him, "How long were you married?" The first guy says, "Twenty-fours years." "Did you ever cheat on your wife?" Peter asked. The guy said, "Yeah, seven times... but you said I was forgiven." Peter said, "Yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to drive." The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter. The second guy said, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her once, but that was our first year and we really worked it out good." Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln." The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!" Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar!" A few days later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk. When they asked the guy with the Jaguar what was wrong, he said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"

All right, today's pheatured guest is an American singer, rapper and songwriter. This year she attained mainstream success with the release of her third studio album, "Cuz I Love You," which peaked inside the top five of the Billboard 200. The album spawned two singles "Juice" and "Tempo." Kids, please welcome to the Phile the one and only... Lizzo!

Me: Hey, Lizzo, welcome to the Phile. Apparently this is a big deal that you are here... a friend at work named Matthew was so excited that I'm gonna be interviewing you. How are you?

Lizzo: I'm so happy to be here and tell your friend Matthew I said hello. Is he taken?

Me: I don't know. Haha. So, love your song "Juice" and it is catchy. I read that Aretha Franklin's album "I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You)" was a big influence behind your new album "Cuz I Love You." Am I right?

Lizzo: Where did you read that?

Me: I'm good. I do my research.

Lizzo: I don't remember saying that out loud to people in an interview but... yeah.

Me: So, tell me about it.

Lizzo: That was big deal to me. Well, this was awhile ago because when I got signed to Atlantic Records, Aretha was on Atlantic Records is still is her music is still on Atlantic Records. I remember I found a parallel to her.

Me: What was the parallel?

Lizzo: The parallel was she came out with her "I Never Loved a Man" album which was her first big album, her first big Grammy winning album, the one that was on the charts and her debut I think on Atlantic Records. She was the same age as me and I was like oh my God, this is like my "I Never Loved a Man" album. That was really special to me, That was my motivation when I was making this album. I was like last year sometime like in February I was like what if Aretha went into the studio and made a hip hop album in 2019. What would that sound like? And I forgot about the parallel to Aretha's "I Never Loved a Man" album so I guess Aretha has been a through line during this whole process.

Me: Isn't that interesting? She's a big part of this thing.

Lizzo: Yeah. A spiritual guide.

Me: Did you ever get a chance to meet her before she passed?

Lizzo: No. Did you interview her, Jason?

Me: No, I never got a chance.

Lizzo: My mom sang for her when she was younger because they're all from Detroit. It was choir and it was for an event she was at. That's pretty cool, right?

Me: Yeah, that is cool. I have to tell you I love the title track from your latest album. It's so good. What do you think of it?

Lizzo: That's like one of the best songs of all time. LMAO. Like I wish I didn't make it sometimes! 

Me: What? Why?

Lizzo: Because it is one of the best songs! I wish somebody more famous than me made it so it could be considered one of the greatest songs of all time!

Me: It could still be considered one of the greatest songs of all time. Your last release which was an EP came out in 2016 and think you were supposed to be on the Phile back then but something happened. Anyway, how does this new album feel different?

Lizzo: This album is more vulnerable. I allowed myself to be a little more honest in the booth in real time. Everyone I would go into the studio something would happen or I was going through something and I would have that emotion literally just come out in a song. Or I would anticipation an emotion and write how I want to react to it or how I want to end. And I think because that emotional honesty and the real life that happened to me this is one of the most vulnerable pieces of music I ever put out. 

Me: If you don't mind me asking, when you say "the real life that happened to me" what do you mean?

Lizzo: It's beyond the other things. Like "Cry Baby" I'm literally crying in a car with a guy. I was just crying so bad because A) he was not the one for me and I think deep down inside I knew that. Also I was always afraid to cry in front pf people mostly men because men... I don't know what's wrong with y'all but when girls start crying you'll like "how do I make it stop?" Ya'll just don't know how to function when women are crying and it's very annoying.

Me: I cry a lot myself, Lizzo. Hahahaha. I do like that song "Cry Baby." You must be proud of it, right?

Lizzo: I was really proud of myself for feeling vulnerable. There are moments like that but there are also moments where I had really dark period of depression and loneliness. Sometime last year actually. And it really rocked me because music always saved me from being lonely and sad. I was literally on tour and performing on stage and like I was crying right before the performance. I performed on stage and got off and went back to being sad and it didn't make me happy. Music always saved me and I was like whoa, this has gotten really bad. I started going to therapy and the therapy really helped me. What I needed to learn from therapy was how much I needed to value my relationships with the people who are around me and care about me. And love and all of that so I think that even in the relationships in my songs have more depth now versus "walk your fine ass out the door, girl!" It's like real moments in the music where I'm connecting with myself and I'm connecting with the people around me in a more vulnerable and emotional way.

Me: Was it rewarding in making this record in that way?

Lizzo: It IS really awarding. The music aside therapy last year was the best thing I could've done. The relationships with the people around me are so much stronger and honest. I don't hold things in anymore. I had anger problems too, and I still got s little bit of attitude. LOL. I've got a little bit of anger problems. I've been working on it but everything I do is better now. Mentorship is just as good is just as good if someone can't afford therapy. Listening to my album "Cuz I Love You" is a form of therapy.

Me: So, apart from Aretha who else do you like?

Lizzo: Oh, shit. Sister Rosetta Tharpe. I love the song "This Train."

Me: I think I know who that is. What does she mean to you?

Lizzo: Oh my gosh. Everything. It's so amazing. She invented and she created a prototype for rock and roll by rising gospel and being such an amazing guitar player and singing the way that she did. Touching the people the way that she did and making it so cool. And she never got that credit, she never got the opportunities that were given to the white men around her that took that style and popularized it. For me I do all of this with the spirit of Sister Rosetta Tharpe. I do it for the women who for years and years got overlooked and also siphoned. Her story is so incredible, her music is so powerful, and that's what I do. I feel like I bring gospel to whatever I'm doing. Even when I'm singing "Soul Mate" it turns into a Tharpe/Franklin song. Us black women are always on the edge of revival somewhere, we're always on the edge of testimony. Even if I'm ordering a bagel I'm like,"I want an everything bagel with cream cheese because Jesus is so good to me! and I want to thank the Lord for giving me the opportunity to be in this place with you! To get this bagel in the name of Jesus. Amen." LOL. I see myself in her and she died years before I was even born and I just feel like she was someone I could look up to in real time.

Me: You're a big Missy Elliott fan as well, right? I think you've been compared to her.

Lizzo: That's the holy trinity of me right there. Sister Rosetta, Aretha Franklin and Missy Elliott. Missy is the inspiration of my entire career.

Me: What does that mean?

Lizzo: It just means that I didn't know what was possible for a girl like me until I saw her do it first. 

Me: What do you mean?

Lizzo: Well, she did everything. She's a rapper, she is a singer, she's a songwriter, dancer, creative director, music video director, storyteller, pop star, Grammy winner, fashion icon, all of those things. And being who she is and never compromising that and looking the way she looks, and being a sexual being and being a freak and being ambiguously a freak. That is literally the philosophy of my entire sexual career and attraction. I feel like seen and I felt like I could do that, that's something I could achieve and something I could believe in. Without her I would have tried to chase a completely different kind of career.

Me: And you worked with her on the new record, right?

Lizzo: Yeah. And she likes me, she really likes me.

Me: What is that like for you, Lizzo, to work and get to know her as she meant so much to you? 

Lizzo: Oh, I was very nervous. When I get nervous around people or people that I look up to I get very quiet. I was very shy and I was like I don't know what to do, and I was walking up to this door to the room that I knew she would be in and I was like I cannot believe I'm going to meet her. What do I say to her, how am I going to act? But after that she just makes me feel so special. She talks to me like I'm talented like her. She's like, "You're a superstar, Lizzo. Don't let anybody take that away from you. You'e the best in the business." I was like girl, what? Head explodes! So, yeah, I don't know. I have nothing else to say. I am freaking out. 

Me: Even now you're freaking out just thinking about it?

Lizzo: Oh my God. Move on.

Me: Okay, let's go back to the record. That song "Juice" is so fucking catching, Lizzo. When did you know that song had really taken off?

Lizzo: I love my songs. I love that song. I don't know because I've never been in this position before. 

Me: But you had a big hit with "Good As Hell," right?

Lizzo: But this is different. I knew it was going to be different when I dropped it January 4th and everything kind of changed. It hit like a million streams and a million views so quickly. Normally I'll be at the 6 month mark "did we hit a million yet?" But this was like immediately, in a few days it was like bing bing! I still actually never heard it on the radio while I was in my car so it hasn't really hit me it's everywhere everywhere. I'll still be at my house in my pajamas and I'm still doing the same shit I've been doing like nothing has really changed. I just have this song that's on the radio. I keep hearing people who are like I keep hearing your song and I'm like I don't know, it feels the same but it's different.

Me: So, you were on the cover of Essence magazine and that was a big deal for you, right?

Lizzo: Yeah, well, it's not too complicated. It is a really simple thing. I started off as an indie rapper in Minneapolis, Minnesota and indie music is a niche genre and the crowds are normally white people. It's not shocking, I was playing at a lot of rock festivals, playing a lot of rock clubs I was being interviewed for music blogs, like this one, but not as cool as this one. LOL. It's just important to me that everyone is getting this message because the music isn't just music that's like "I'm hot and I'm cute, let's go." This music is actually helping people in a very vizual way and a very physical and emotional way. As a big black girl why wouldn't I want big black girls to listen to this music and feel better so it's exciting to me for being on the cover of Essence. I know I'm reaching my community. This music is for everybody but it's coming from me.

Me: So, didn't you say something like "if you're not a musician you should be unemployed if you're a critic."?

Lizzo: No, I didn't say that! I said, "If you critic music and you've never written a song you should be unemployed."

Me: Why did you say that? Hahaha.

Lizzo: I was wrong. I was wrong to generalize people. My error there was I didn't want to give that person attention and that is why people do things like that sometimes is to get attention. So I didn't want to draw any attention to that particular person so I chose to be general instead of specific in order to not give them any publicity and it ended up being extremely offensive and wrong. It's not true, And I spoke to a music journalist and they told me their perspective. This I'm learning, I was not born knowing everything. I'm not going to ever claim that I'm going to say the right thing. It'a also like this album is my baby. I have a don't fuck with my baby mentality so if you take my baby and call my baby ugly I will crawl up to your face and call you ugly. So when people push me I want to push back naturally. But I think I'm learning that people who are searching for a certain kind of attention and I have to really be careful of who I'm giving that attention to. I've noticed even more so exponentially that things that I even quote, retweet or respond to or comment on Instagram gain more attention than it used to. I can't really fly under the radar anymore on social media so I have to be really cautious. I'm measured, I'm really measured. But I still tend to go off.

Me: Is there one song on the record that means a lot to you?

Lizzo: "Soul Mate" is just quintessentially me in a nutshell. No, I'm not going to say all the way me because I have so many different sides but this is like my self love song I've been trying to make since in love with myself back in 2015. I've been trying to make this song, this wraps it up, this takes and rushed the envelope. It's a bounce song so I could New Orleans bounce and twerk with and it's gospel in the chorus, the verses are hard. I love "Soul Mate," it's beautiful, it's emotional and makes people cry and twerk.

Me: I'm not gonna twerk. Hahahaha. Lizzo, thanks for being on the Phile. I hope this was fun and please come back again.

Lizzo: I sure will, Jason, I love this blog.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Lizzo. The Phile will be back on Friday with actress Demi Moore and then on Monday it's A Peverett Phile Christmas 11 pheaturing Sting. I can't believe there's just for more entries left this year. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon