Pheaturing Bif Naked

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? In case you missed it, the NATO summit was last week sometime, and it was held outside London. That means that on top of the usual fights between politicians, we also got to watch the British Royal Family do what they do best: make subtle, passive aggressive gestures that could be interpreted as shade against Donald Trump. A video is going viral that purportedly shows Princess Anne snubbing Donald and Melania Trump, and then shrugging when the Queen gestures for her to greet them. In all reality, it's hard to say what's going on. Maybe Princess Anne is, like most rich British people, just being awkward. But many are interpreting it as massive royal shade. They're speculating that Anne is refusing to meet with Trump for moral and/or political reasons. They're even implying that this makes up for all the royal family's recent bad press, which includes Anne's brother associating with a known pedophile but hey, who's counting. Meanwhile, some are pointing out that if Meghan Markle ever dared to shrug in Trump's general direction, all hell would break loose. They're wondering how the British press will cover the interaction, if at all. Because it's safe to say if Meghan did this, it'd be on a few front pages. But Meghan's currently enjoying a conveniently timed vacation to the U.S. that allowed her to dodge the Trumps yet again, lucky her. Not everyone is convinced that Princess Anne was doing anything particularly moral or righteous in this video. Still, it's fun to imagine that someone was standing up to Trump. And you have to give her credit for having perhaps the most iconic reaction to a kidnapping attempt of all time.
Like I said, Donald Trump recently visited the U.K. for a NATO summit with other world leaders from around the world. While there, Polish Member of Parliament Donald Tusk apparently snapped a quick picture while Trump’s back was turned that shows him making what appears to be a gun gesture.

Tusk tweeted out the image with a fairly innocuous message, but conservative Americans have taken extreme offense to the picture. Many conservatives interpreted the picture as a veiled threat against Trump or America. Many Polish people also spoke out against Tusk’s gesture, thinking it was needlessly evocative of violence. There were some online who felt the gesture was being blown out of proportion. This incident is the latest in a long line of unfortunate moments for Trump at the NATO summit. Continuing his pattern of distancing himself from U.S. allies, a clip of Trump interacting with the French President quickly went viral for his flippant attitude. Later, several world leaders were caught on a hot mic making fun of President Trump while at a party. Though Tusk’s gesture may not have been appropriate to make, it fits into a pattern of behavior among foreign world leaders who don’t feel Donald Trump has earned the respect typical given to prior United States’ Presidents.
Here's a sad story... Last Saturday night, a father from Texas died while hanging Christmas lights for a client in the neighborhood. Felipe Gallegos and his wife, Alisha Flick, grew a servicing business together, cleaning windows during the warmer months and hanging Christmas lights during the holiday season. While visiting their third client for the day, Flick and their son were working in the front yard while Gallegos completed the task of mounting the Christmas lights on the neighbor’s roof. Flick and their son heard a loud crash, and when Flick went to check what it was, she discovered her husband lying on the cement, crying for help. Flick said, “We heard something, and I got out and I went over there, and he was laying on the concrete. He was saying, ‘Help me, help me,’ and so I called 911.” Gallegos was rushed to the hospital with a fractured skull and other injuries. Despite the doctors’ best attempts, however, Gallegos sadly passed away at Medical City Denton as a result of his fall. Flick said, “He had a skull fracture and bleeding in the brain and then he had a chest fracture. And they had to drain blood from his chest. And they rushed him into emergency surgery, but he didn’t make it.” Flick and her son are still dealing with the shock of the accident, especially after she and Gallegos had successfully run the business of putting up Christmas lights for several years without injury. They’re also trying to figure out how they will move forward, especially at this time of the year, with their business providing the primary income. But Gallegos made a promise to Flick years ago, saying that they would be okay if anything ever happened to him. It turns out Gallegos was right, as countless community members have contributed to a GoFundMe page dedicated to the family. Nearly 60-thousand dollars have been raised so far. Twitter followers have expressed their sadness and prayers, as well. Flick said, “I really didn’t realize how much support I even had. And he always told me if something ever happened to him that we would be okay, and I didn’t believe him. But now I realize that everything’s going to be alright.” According to local reports, the neighborhood is also struggling to adjust to their new life ahead without Felipe Gallegos. Flick reflected on her husband, “He was just an all-around great person. He always had a smile on his face, and he was always goofy and he was always making everybody laugh.” Losing someone who offered so much support and light can be tremendously hard for a family and a neighborhood to move beyond, especially around the holidays.
A video went viral last week after two Muslim students from Metro State University (MSU) in Denver, Colorado were verbally accosted for praying in a computer lab. According to the men, prior to the start of the video, the woman responded to the men beginning their prayers. The woman called to the front of the room, “Do this somewhere else!” She then proceeded to turn the volume up on her computer, blaring music over the sounds of prayer. In the video, one of the students from MSU is just rolling his prayer mat out on the floor at the front of the computer lab. The room is essentially empty, except for the two Muslim students, the unidentified woman who is potentially a student or staff member and an onlooker who is not pictured. One of the Muslim students captured the video. His prayers can be heard from behind the camera. We see first his fellow student, standing at the foot of his prayer mat, beginning to pray, before the other student swings around to capture the woman on camera. The woman at first ignores the camera. The music on her computer is blaring. The student continues praying while taking video, and the woman then waves both of her middle fingers at him. She says and then returns to her computer work, “Fuck your religion. I don’t care about your prayers.” The man then asks, “Hey, what’s your name?” The woman replies, “None of your goddamn business.” Twitter has been resoundingly supportive of the two Muslim MSU students, showing their support for their beliefs in this situation. Metro State University in Denver is not letting this rest, stating they strongly support their mission for diversity, and they will continue investigating until they discover if the woman has any affiliation with the university. A spokesperson for the University tweeted, “MSU Denver takes its commitment to diversity very seriously and places a high value on cultivating and sustaining a respectful and inclusive campus community.” The University is actively investigating the situation, looking to see if they can identify the woman in the video. Presumably, if the woman is identified as an MSU student or staff member, she will face consequences from the school for discriminatory behavior.
Who would've thought that a little 50-year-old Star Wars baby would turn an already awesome series into the biggest show of the year? "The Mandalorian" has just been declared as the most in-demand series of 2019. The report comes from Parrot Analytics which reveals that "The Mandalorian" is 31.9 times more popular than any other series available these days. Interestingly, it defeated "Game of Thrones," which only scored 28.3. It also did better than "The Crown," which achieved 15.0 times the average, "Stranger Things" that registered at 18.9 times, and "The Flash" at 21.6 times. This really isn't much of a surprise considering that "The Mandalorian" is the first Star Wars series to air on Disney+. Fans already had high expectations in the show but people were understandably blown away when the first episode introduced the adorable "Baby Yoda." Luckily, the character continues to play a major role in the series and people are hoping to see more of the Child in the future episodes. Being the most in-demand series of the year isn't the only awesome thing about "The Mandalorian." It was previously reported that the show was somehow responsible for pulling in over 15 million subscriptions for Disney+.
So, instead of doing this little blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Ummm... maybe not. So, did you see the trailer for the new Wonder Woman movie yet? I haven't, but rumor is they replaced Gal Gadot. Don't believe me? Check it out...

Hahaha. Told you. So, you heard about this Elf on a Shelf thing, right? Well, sometimes the Elf goes just a little bit too far.

Hahahaha. That's not that bad actually. Most people that know me know my "costume" of choice is normally t-shirt, shorts or jeans, and Converse or flip flops. I was thinking of changing my look up though. How about this?

It looks fun, right? Need an idea of a Christmas present to get your loved one? The Sears catalogue has a good sale of Walkmans.

I want one. Okay, so, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's things that happen here in Florida that happen no where else in the universe...

Ah, Florida… never change! In Valparaiso, Florida this past weekend, Veronica Alvarez-Rodriguez visited a Goodwill and bought a Baby Einstein’s bouncer as a gift for a friend’s baby shower. Just one problem... once the father-to-be opened the box, there was no bouncer inside. Just a semi-automatic rifle. Rodriguez would later post to Facebook, describing the incident. The partygoers called the Crestview Police Department, who were just as shocked to hear what had happened. The authorities confiscated the gun for 90 days, after which it will be returned to its new owner: an unborn child. Alvarez joked “the gun now belongs to Baby Jonathan who is due to enter this world any day now.” Strange things often happen in Florida… but this is taking things to the next level. Surely the founding fathers hoped every newborn child could carry a semi-automatic rifle! The U.S. definitely has a bit of a gun problem on its hands. One can only hope Santa doesn’t make a mistake like this for any kids at Christmas. The next time you go to a baby shower, remember high-powered weaponry is always a gift option.

Make the best use of sunshine when it comes. Go for a walk if possible...

Slaughtered. There's a friend of the Phile who has something to say about a pretty popular Christmas movie. I, myself, have only seen clips of the movie and do not like it. Anyway, he's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

Morning, humans. Let's start off with this thoroughly depressing piece of garbage called The Polar Express. I found it dark and creepy, chock full of socially awkward moments like a small child being led to the roof of a moving train by a homeless person (in the middle of a blizzard). This was one of many cringeworthy moments that truly frightened my then 4-year-old son, Michael. It was like watching two cats fighting over a mouse carcass on Marilyn Manson’s porch. The very idea that this was marketed as a holiday film for kids is fucking insane. My guess is that they were aiming for a sort of Norman Rockwell meets Tim Burton kind of vibe... they failed miserably. Now, I’m sure there may be some out there who might argue this point with me... that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, as am I... this movie sucked. #CreepierThanJohnnyDeppAsWonka.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know.

In none other but Japan. If you didn’t know Japan is a strange, strange country and apparently on Christmas, that doesn’t change. The thing is, Christmas has never really been a huge deal in Japan and aside from a few, small secular traditions including gifts and Christmas lights, the holiday still remains a novelty throughout the country. Enter Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner and you have the newest, and quirkiest tradition to hit Japan in recent years, KFC for Christmas dinner. The Christmas menu will soon be advertised on the restaurants website and you won’t even have to know Japanese to read it. After all, do pictures not say 1,000 words?

The 110th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Demi Moore will be the guest on the Phile next Friday. That's so exciting, right?

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain’t horny, I’m homesick."

Today's pheatured guest is a singer-songwriter, actress, and motivational speaker. Her new single "Hot Box Girls" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Bif Naked.

Me: Hello, Bif, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Bif: I'm excellent. How are you?

Me: I'm doing okay. I was looking at your Instagram and I saw you had a Lego Millennium Falcon and lots of toys. You are cooler than cool. Are you a Star Wars fan?

Bif: I am a Star Wars fan, but not as big as my husband Snake, my guitar player. He collects Star Wars. He made me go to the Lego store at five in the morning, for two weeks in a row, to be in line to buy the Millennium Falcon. He finally bought it and put it together in a week. Then a few months ago he dropped a guitar on it and smashed it, so he had to rebuild it. I have to say he did it successfully. 

Me: I'm a huge Star Wars fan as well. Do you like playing with Lego's?

Bif: I don't have the patience to play with Lego's myself but I like admiring it.

Me: Same here. I used to have more patience. So, where are you from, Bif?

Bif: My parents are from South Dakota and Minnesota and were missionaries with the United Methodist Church. They married at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis and went to India where they worked. My dad was a dentist and fixed all of the missionaries teeth. My birth mom was a Canadian teenager, she was 16 and living there in New Delhi with her parents and her church contacted my parents church to let them know there was a baby that was going to be born and going to be put up for adoption. So my parents said, "If no one wants the baby, we'll take the baby."

Me: So, you're Canadian then?

Bif: Yeah, I've been the only Canadian in my family and it's been awesome. It was a great childhood. Great upbringing.

Me: How long have you been known as Bif? Your real name is Beth, right?

Bif: Yeah, I've been Bif since 8th grade, it's been so long I don't even answer to anything else.

Me: So, when did you first become a musician or singer?

Bif: Well, when I was in my first year of university, this was in Winnipeg in Manitoba I got into a band kind of by accident. I was a theater major and a bunch of kids I knew had a band and I liked hanging out with them so I started singing in their band. It was punk rock, how hard could it be.

Me: Where did the name Bif Naked come from?

Bif: The people in the band all had these cool names and for me they thought "Bif Naked" was going to be bit of an eye catching named and it would encourage people to come to the shows. Back then the hardcore scene no one wanted to come see a girl singing and so they had to try and make it a little more tantalizing than it was, because believe me, I was wearing clothes. It was bloody knuckles all the way.

Me: Did your name or performance win over crowds?

Bif: You know what, it was great, it was both. The name was unusual enough that people remembered it. Once we started doing a couple of shows and did a couple of tours as they say I started making a name for myself. I was really lucky, there were few competitors basically in the small scene that we were performing in. So we started to get in on bigger shows and bigger tours and eventually we moved to Vancouver. It was like leaving our small town scene and going into the big leagues.

Me: What did your family think about you becoming a musician?

Bif: My father had a PhD and of course he managed public health and whined excessively at me, "When are you going to college?" I called him from the studio of "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" when we appeared on that show and said, "Dad, dad, are you gonna watch tonight? I'm gonna be on and finally your friends can see it's a real job." He said, "That's great, but I really hope you fo back to university."

Me: I first heard of you from one of those CMJ CD's that came with the magazine. I can't remember what song it was, but I liked it. Oh, yeah, "Moment of Weakness" I think. Your music covered a whole lot of genres, Bif, why was that?

Bif: Our generation loved every different kind of music.

Me: How much fun was playing "The Tonight Show"?

Bif: At that time in my life I hadn't met anyone famous except for band people, or musicians. I hadn't really met anyone that was a celebrity before. They film in the day time and we were fans of Kevin Eubanks, he's a very prolific jazz musician and an amazing talented person. But we knew him from Flex Magazine. He was featured in Flex Magazine as a body builder. For us to be on "The Tonight Show" we were primarily concerned with meeting Kevin. That was our goal, we were freaking out, we were huge fans we brought our Flex Magazine's with us so he could sign them. It was the best and Jay Leno was so gracious. I saved his card, he wrote everybody a card and drew his picture on it. Of course everybody in my hometown watched it and that was it, I could die happy.

Me: That was 20 something years ago, Bif. That's crazy.

Bif: That's a whole college person.

Me: Hahahaha. True. What is the story about "Moment of Weakness"?

Bif: It was written a s ballad, it was a wilting sad little song.

Me: You were bigger in Canada than America, but what was it like when you came to play in the states?

Bif: We had some great opportunities for sure. We got to play with the Cult, we got to tour with Lillith Fair, we toured with Fuel, we toured with Days of the New, I don't know for sure if Fuel or Days of the New were necessary our audience. Our core audience probably would have been something else. I think it's time and proximity can really help a band and it really is playing live.

Me: So, I'm a big fan of Barenaked Ladies. What did you think of them?

Bif: They're great example of a band that went down to America and had success in a certain area geographically with a certain radio station. They went there and they pounded it and pounded it and the circle just grew bigger.

Me: That's true. You have a new single called "Hot Box Girls." Are you coming out with a new CD soon?

Bif: We just finished recording a new record. I did a dance record in 2010 that we shelfed. The acoustic record came out in 2012, and that's really the speed I felt comfortable at. It took me a couple of years to kind of shake it off. I had to shake off my cancer treatment, I had to shake off getting divorced, and then suddenly I felt that I was a butterfly again back in the mosh pit doing the rock shows and it's such a riot.

Me: So, what can you tell us about the new album?

Bif: I personally feel so connected to the music that we just made. I feel that it takes me back to the feeling we had after I made the first record and the second record. It's very artistic, there's a lot of sweeping sounds, I can't wait for you to hear it.

Me: You mentioned your cancer, and I'm so happy that you kicked its ass. During the treatment what did you discover about yourself that you didn't know before?

Bif: That I should've gone into sciences into the arts. I should have gone into medical school because I loved it, I loved hospitals, I started volunteering when I was still in treatment. I kind of kept getting asked to go and sit in with other patience while they were getting treatment and I discovered I was built to be a medial chaperone.

Me: Bif, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back when your next CD comes out. Take care.

Bif: Yay! Thanks, Jason, I'm looking forward to it.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Bif Naked. The Phile will be back on Thursday with the one and only Steve Perry and then a week from today I have to mention the guest as apparently it's a pretty big deal... next Monday on the Phile it's Lizzo. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon