Thursday, September 28, 2017

Pheaturing Phile Alum Chas Hodges

Hey there, good afternoon, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday. How are you? If you've ever wondered how news websites get obituaries up so damn fast, here's an insider secret: the stories are often pre-written. When a beloved celebrity that a website's audience cares about is elderly or ill, a reporter might decide to write their obituary in advance, leaving blanks for information that won't be available until the death actually happens. It's definitely a time-saving practice, helping outlets be among the first to break a story. However, as one Hollywood Reporter writer just proved, it's also a risky one. Thursday night, shortly after news of​​​​​​ Hugh Hefner's death broke, a Twitter user named Lauren Ashley Smith happened upon The Hollywood Reporter's obituary for the "Playboy" founder... and she immediately noticed a few errors. "Hugh Hefner is gone and so is the job of the person who did this," Smith tweeted alongside two screenshots of the article.

As seen in the images, someone at THR seems to have accidentally hit "publish" before making the necessary changes. For example... The headline begins with "ADVANCE OBIT:" and ends with "XX DO NOT PUBLISH." The publish date is listed as "12/31/1969." Hefner's age of death is reported as "XX." The details of his death read as follows, "Hefner died WHEN and WHERE of WHAT, according to WHOM." Within an hour after Smith posted her now-viral tweet, THR had updated its article by cleaning up the headline and adding in information about Hefner's death into the story. Phew. But that doesn't matter, because the pre-written version will still live forever on the Internet. I'm sending our best wishes to the person WHOM is responsible for this error.
An "American-style" restaurant in Belfast, Ireland called Ribs and Bibs came under well-justified Internet outrage in late September after an employee wrote a "joke" on a sandwich board advertising their cheap lunch option. "You can beat the wife," went the sign, "but you can't beat a £5 lunch." You know what's better than a cheap lunch? An expensive lunch that doesn't tell you to beat your wife. According to "The Mirror," the restaurant's social media attempted to do damage control, responding to a negative comment by saying, "My God mate get a life, it's a bit of wit on a small board out side a restaurant, we're not putting it on the front page of a news paper or making a move, see it for what it is, not as you see it!" A bit of wit? Nah. This is a bit of wit... That sign is just bafflingly tasteless. The owner of the restaurant has disavowed the sign in the wake of the outrage, according to the "Belfast Telegraph," but he won't fire the employee who wrote it. He also took the tone-deaf route of claiming his company is the victim of a "barrage of abuse on social media." "I feel that we have been subjected to a horrendous trial by social media," he said, before elaborating, "I was horrified. I have spent three years building this business up from scratch, trying to build up a reputation, and with just five words that's all gone." Via the "Belfast Telegraph," he continued to lavish on the self-pity, "The employee didn't understand what those words meant to everybody and was left in fear of losing his job. We're all victims in it. The business is not in immediate danger of folding, but I'm worried about the long-term impact." Wow. Even though the guy's acting like he's the victim here, he did reportedly accept an offer from a women's aid group to "educate" his staff about domestic violence. Meanwhile, Ribs and Bibs will indeed have trouble coming back from the terrible reviews flooding its Facebook page. I wonder what their food like though.
Human beings are cruel, petty creatures, who moan about the elusive nature of love while simultaneously building their own emotional hell. To support this bleak perspective, I present to you the latest dating trend, which is dramatically called "submarining." While ghosting is what happens when someone stops texting without explanation (unfortunately they don't usually die), submarining is what happens when a boo-thing stops texting you, and THEN RE-EMERGES FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN MONTHS LATER. Except, instead of rising from the ocean like an emotionally torturous mer-person, they send you an underwhelming "sup" text as if they never disappeared in the first place. Submarining maybe the worst of all worlds possible, because it includes the humiliation of being ghosted, then once you've moved on the monster COMES BACK TO TORTURE YOU MORE. While it's in the same family of emotional terrorism, submarining is NOT to be confused with zombieing. Zombieing is when an ex decides to slide into your DMs, does an apology, some eyebrow wriggling and tries to get back to smooching but really eats your brains in the end. Despite the emotional "Walking Dead" scenario, zombieing is slightly more dignified (ugh) because the ex at least acknowledges and weakly apologizes for the way communication ended and the passage of time. If your brain is already jangling with all the horror-movie terms that apply to your dating life, you might as well read up on mooning and cushioning while you're here in hell. Truly, the icy players are out here thrashing hearts and we've gotta relegate them back to the lonely bench where they belong.
Here's your disturbing airline customer service nightmare story of the day. A woman was aggressively pushed off a Southwest Airlines flight from Baltimore to Los Angeles on Tuesday because she demanded that two dogs be removed from the plane. According to the airline, the woman told the crew that she had a life-threatening allergy to dogs, but failed to provide documentation. "Our policy states that a Customer (without a medical certificate) may be denied boarding if they report a life-threatening allergic reaction and cannot travel safely with an animal onboard," the airline's statement said. After the crew allegedly tried to escort her out peacefully, "law enforcement became involved," Southwest explained. As per usual, a passenger recorded the whole incident on their phone, in which you can hear the flight attendants telling them all to stop. In the video, you hear the woman telling officers, "My dad has a surgery," and her repeatedly telling the officers, "Don't touch me." Another passenger very sympathetically heckles the ordeal with "Jeez lady, get off the plane." “If you look at the police, they were being overly aggressive," Bill Dumas, the guy who recorded the incident, told CBSLA. Southwest Airlines issued the following apology.

Here's hoping the woman and her father are both alright.
Flying is already a huge hassle, but if you see these four letters on your boarding pass, things could get way more inconvenient. If you see the letters "SSSS" on your boarding pass, expect to spend even more time in security with the Transportation Security Administration, or TSA. Damn, and you thought having to take off your shoes was bad! According to Business Insider, "SSSS" stands for Secondary Security Screening Selection, and it appears on your boarding pass when you are selected for an additional screening by the TSA. The meaning of the "SSSS" stamp was never really a secret, per se, but travelers are just now catching on to its meaning. "SSSS stands for Secondary Security Screening Selection and it appears on a passenger’s boarding pass when they’ve been selected by TSA’s Secure Flight system for enhanced security screening," the TSA said told "Business Insider" in a statement. "Secure Flight is a risk-based passenger pre-screening program that enhances security by identifying low and high-risk passengers before they arrive at the airport by matching their names against trusted traveler lists and watchlists." Oh, and it gets worse if you are trying to catch a connecting flight. If you are stamped "SSSS," you have to repeat the additional security level at each connecting airport. No quick pit-stop at the airport Cinnabon for you! According to Distracitfy, if someone continually is given the "SSSS" stamp, they can contact the TSA and appeal to remove it. However, if you show up at the airport and see the dreaded stamp on your boarding pass, there is nothing you can really do. I guess that's why they have you arrive to your flight so early. I guess that's why they have you arrive to your flight so early.
So, if you think of cheating on your loved one you might think twice after you see this...

I wonder how much that banner cost. One thing about me is I like to follow the rules, but there's some people that take it a little too far...

So, there's a new movie coming out that looks very interesting. Check it out...

Drunk Kirk looks good, right? Did you see President Trump's new hat? No? Well, check it out...

So, ever see those tip jars in restaurants? Sometimes places get really creative with them...

Hahaha. So, you know I am a Star Wars fan, and a football fan by now. Some people I think are bigger fans of both and have found a way to blend the two... like this guy...

Haha. Do you cook? I don't. I never cooked anything in my life but after seeing this I might start...
This dishwasher magnet makes things marginally easier. I say marginally because dishes are always going to suck. It's one of the unbendable laws of the universe. Like gravity, or the way a Subway sandwich shop smells. So, last week I asked you to send me pictures of dogs in pajamas and I am still getting them sent to me so I thank you. Look at them...

Awe!!! Hey, it's Thursday, so you know what that means...

In February 2002 a woman was eating a bowl of clam chowder at a McCormick and Schmick's seafood restaurant in Irvine, California, when she bit down on something rubbery. She thought it was a piece of calamari, but when she spit it out into her napkin she discovered that it was a condom. She immediately complained and the restaurant manager took the condom from her. The woman later sued and won an undisclosed settlement from the restaurant. The restaurant itself tried to sue the supplier of the clam chowder, but a judge ruled in favor of the supplier.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. That's fucking disgusting. Alright, it's Thursday and you know what that means... time to talk football with my friend Jeff.

Me: Hey, Jeff, how you? Welcome back to the Phile. 

Jeff: It's always good to be back on the Phile!

Me: So, the Steelers did not come out their locker room for the national anthem. And they didn't come out for the game either. Hahaha. So, what do you think of this whole anthem kneeling business?

Jeff: Honestly, I have no issues with what the Steelers did and I have no problem with kneeling as a form of silent protest. When you turn on the news and see people with torches protesting in the streets, rioting and looting. I don't want to make this all political, but notice how many teams did this once a certain President called out a handful of players who did it? It was more of a protest to him and his politics than to anything else at this point.

Me: I can't say much about the Steelers losing as the Giants lost as well. I was thinking... there's a few notable Owens. There's Owen Wilson, Jesse Owens, Terrell Owens and now the Giants are Owen three. Hahaha.

Jeff: Don't forget about Kevin Owens and Owen Hart. Sorry! I had to throw in a wrestling reference when I could.

Me: That's cool. So, I have seen a professional baseball game and an NHL game, and this Sunday I'll see my first NFL game which is the Giants versus the Bucs. You've been to NFL games before, right? What is it like?

Jeff: I will tell you that going to a football game live is a much different experience than watching it on TV. I've been to three NFL games in the past.

Me: I can't wait. Jeff, did you hear about the anonymous Dallas player saying if anyone on the Cowboys kneels, they will be put on the "shit list"?

Jeff: I did not hear that. If anyone really believes in something, especially at this level whoever said that should step up. Especially considering the Cowboys did kneel at one point. They locked arms with their owner as well.

Me: What else is going on with the NFL?

Jeff: There's not a lot of news. A few more injuries this week. But the vast majority of news involves kneeling, so yeah. Moving on.

Me: Hey, so, Disney once again has taken over an NFL teams logo... I am very partial to this one...

Jeff: Hahahaha, other than a changing of the font it looks the same! Could have done something with "Mickey and the Beanstalk"!

Me: True. I never thought of that. Okay, so, how did we both do last week? Both our teams lost I know that.

Jeff: Well, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is I went 1-1 with a Steelers lose. The bad news is you can your name to the Owen list as you went 0-2 for the second straight week with a Giants lose. So I lead now by a score of 8-2. I'm 3-3 for the season with 2 Steeler wins and you are 1-7 with 0 Giant wins.

Me: Ugh!!! Okay, let's pick this week's picks... I say Packers by 10 and Lions by 10.

Jeff: My picks are Jags by 7 and Raiders by 4.

Me: Great. I'll be at the Giants/Tampa game so look for me on TV. Have a good week. I'll see you here next Thursday.

Jeff: Have a good week.

I don't get it. Hahaha. Let's see who kicked the bucket. I think you know...

Hugh Hefner 
April 9th, 1926 — September 27th, 2017
I salute the passing of a great American hero. Thankfully salutes are just with one hand.

Donald Trump is not one known for deleting his old tweets. It's a fun game to go through his old tweets and find the ones where he complains about Obama doing the exact same things that Trump did when he took office. Trump has tweets so embarrassing, offensive and odd that it's actually shocking that he hasn't deleted them. But for some reason, a few night's ago he started deleting tweets he sent supporting Luther Strange for Alabama senator after Strange lost the election. But the strange (see what I did there?) thing is, he's left a lot of them up, too. He probably deleted the one about Strange "shooting up" in the polls just because he later realized that might not be the best term to use. As for the other two, maybe he just felt like they were no longer relevant. But remember, this is a guy who left this tweet up...

So who knows what the President is doing. Either he was planning on deleting all his Luther Strange votes, and then realized people were noticing, or else he only planned on deleting a few, and accomplished that. Or else he's just got no plan, and is playing fast and lose with that delete button. He did congratulate Roy Moore two days ago, though he had to point out that Strange started "way back" just so we'd all know it definitely, absolutely wasn't Trump's fault that Strange didn't win.

Today's pheatured guest is a Phile Alum, English musician and singer, probably best known for being one half, and lead vocalist, of the English musical duo Chas & Dave. He is also the author of "Chas & Dave: All About Us," the 66th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Most of all, he's a cancer survivor. Please welcome back to the Phile the fantastic... Chas Hodges!

Me: Hey there, Chas, welcome back to the Phile, sir. How are you?

Chas: I am fine.

Me: Okay, let's get this out of the way first, my friend. Late last year or early this year since you were here on the Phile last you were diagnosed with cancer... what kind and what stage?

Chas: Cancer of the oesophagus and it was caught early.

Me: You are so lucky they caught it at an early stage. How did they discover it in the first place?

Chas: I reacted quickly when I found I was having difficulty drinking a glass of water. An endoscopy found that cancer had swollen my gullet passage leaving less than a centimeter hole for everything to go through.

Me: Did you go through chemo and radiation treatment?

Chas: Yes, both. Just finished radiotherapy and the doctor don't want to see me until three months time, so that's good.

Me: The band took a break when you were recovering but it still must of been hard to tell Dave, your wife, band and friends. Who did you tell first?

Chas: My wife Joan.

Me: Did you do any songwriting when you were recovering?

Chas: A bit but mainly I have been making sure I play regularly. I have not gigged for six months. This has been the longest barren gig gap since I left school. I want to make sure I am physically fit when I return to the stage.

Me: You recently played your "return show" at Hyde Park at a huge festival... was that that like? Did it feel good to be back on stage? I bet it did.

Chas: All great. Big crowd, played great, didn't miss a note, smashed it. Felt great. All this after a six month gap. Last time I went six months without a gig was 1956. Just before I joined a skiffle group.

Me: Do you still do a lot of songwriting, Chas?

Chas: I constantly make notes of ideas or record musical passages that come to mind. Then when I sit down to write proper I have these ideas to start me off.

Me: Okay, so, before I forget, recently I interviewed musician and author Wesley Stace who used to go by the name of John Wesley Harding and I mentioned you and asked if he was a fan as Wes is from England. He is a fan and said he was at one time was going to invite Chas & Dave to his Cabinet of Wonders shows in the states but wasn't sure if Americans knew who you were. I said they did, but he said you wouldn't of heard of him. So, have you heard of Wesley Stace and if you were invited to do those shows would you come over?

Chas: I have not heard of Wesley Stace but would like to hear of him.

Me: I'll get you two connected. Do you get a lot of response or hear from American fans?

Chas: Yes, periodically.

Me: When you first came to America what was your reaction?

Chas: Wished we had spent more time playing in America.

Me: Okay, so, let's talk about your autobiography, which was FANTASTIC, "Chas & Dave: All About Us" is the 66th book to the pheatured in the Phile's book club. The book took a long time to write, didn't it? How long?

Chas: The first half, "Chas Before Dave" came out in 1987. Twenty years later a publisher read it and begged me to bring it up to date. I didn't really fancy doing it but my wife said I should. "Someone else will do it and get it wrong," she said. She was right, so I did.

Me: Why did it take so long to write? Did you write in spurts here and there?

Chas: First half took me some 3 years using Scotch tape and a clapped out typewriter. Second half took me 6 months using a word processor. Got to grips with it pretty quick after initially losing whole paragraphs here and there and breaking out into mini cold sweats.

Me: Did you tell anyone you were writing the book at all, or was it a surprise?

Chas: It all came about when John Pidgeon, who ghost wrote Eric Clapton's book, said he would like to do a Chas & Dave book. So we had a meeting. He said to go away and write down any memories and let him have them. We did. Well, I did. Dave couldn't get into it. I filled up a couple of exercise books and sent them to John. He called me up. What he said to me was totally unexpected. He said I didn't need him. My writing was perfect. "But what about grammar etc," I said. "People want to hear YOU," he said and that's what comes off the page. Well, I thought, he's a professional writer. If he thinks I should write it myself, who am I to argue? So I did.

Me: I agree. That's what I loved about the book. It originally came out in 2008, and a lot has happened with Chas & Dave and yourself in those nine years, so have you thought about updating it or writing a sequel?

Chas: No, but now you mention it, not a bad idea.

Me: I wish you would. I love the way you were honest with it, and didn't hold back. I could picture you speaking the whole time, which was cool. Is there anything you wish you put in the book or wish you didn't?

Chas: Nothing that immediately comes to mind.

Me: What did Dave think of your book when he read it? He should write a book, Chas, right?

Chas: He expressed his approval. Like I said, Dave could not get into writing his own book. It is not his cup of tea. He tried it and didn't like it. I tried it and did like it.

Me: When you started to be a professional musician with Cliff Bennett, Jerry Lee Lewis and Gene Vincent you were a bass player but switched over to piano. What made you decide to switch and what is your favorite instrument to play?

Chas: I dearly wanted piano to be my main instrument. When me and Dave got together I felt I was accomplished enough on it to become so.

Me: Was it hard to switch to piano?

Dave: Not really. But I was now in charge of the lead instrument in the band. It was up to me now to provide stimulating solos whereas on bass, I didn't have to think too hard.

Me: I have interviewed you a few times and everybody always say they love your interviews but I don't ask enough about Heads Hand & Feet... ugh. I can't please everybody. What was your favorite experience working in that band?

Chas: Playing alongside my pal and all-time favourite guitarist, Albert Lee.

Me: When the band ended do you wish it could of continued, Chas?

Chas: No. It was an enormous experience. Most especially a long some 2 month tour of America. I loved it. But it began to feel more and more wrong all the time singing to Americans in an American accent. I had to become myself. This was my plan when me and Dave got together.

Me: Wasn't it during your time in that band where you met my dad, sharing a stage with Foghat or Savoy Brown?

Chas: Yes, it was. We played alongside some marvelous bands.

Me: You were lucky enough to see The J. Geils Band in concert back in the early days like my dad did (Foghat and them did many shows together.) Was there any band you saw that you were in awe about?

Chas: Yes, J. Geils I think was my favourite band. Edgar Winter was impressive. Procul Harum with my long time pal, Gary Brooker, will always be up there.

Me: I was listening to a lot of the Chas & Dave catalogue and the musicality between you guys was so amazing. Was it you who did most of the songwriting and arrangements?

Chas: Yes, I did all the string and brass arrangements. Songs like "Ain't No Pleasing You," and "Wish I Could Write a Love Song" were entirely mine. "Gertcha" and "Rabbit" we wrote between us. 

Me: Your first song you recorded as Chas & Dave was "Pay Up and Look Big," am I right? Was that a sort of biographical song?

Chas: Yes, it was. Also it was a saying my nan used a lot. Uncle Alf, her son, she said, was always the last to give her his housekeeping. Pay up and look big, was what she often had to say to him.

Me: You guys have done something a lot of bands didn't do and that's the montage, non-stop songs on the "Jamboree" albums. Those are so much fun to listen to, especially on long car rides. How do you guys come up with those arrangements and pick what songs you want to play?

Chas: Most of them were songs we had learned from our family parties. My mum, Daisy, was a great pianist and knew a wealth of songs. Dave often said if there was competition for who knew the most songs, my mum would win it.

Me: Originals or covers? What do you prefer?

Chas: Originals probably but covers are so much fun.

Me: Eminem sampled one of your songs! Which song was it again and how did you find out? Whatcha thought?

Chas: "My Name Is" from a Labe Siffre track "I Got The..." I think. Didn't think much about it. Just a session we were on.

Me: You opened for Clapton and Led Zeppelin, Chas... all those had different kinda audiences, how did Chas & Dave go down at those shows?

Chas: Went down great on both occasions but enjoyed the Eric Clapton shows best. We used to bring our old mate Albert Lee onstage to do some rock 'n roll with us at the end. Eric said, "What about me?" So they both ended up coming on the finale of our set.

Me: I love the song "Gertcha," which we talked about before here. Can you tell the story behind that song?

Chas: My grandmother was an east ender and used to say that word and "cowson." I never knew it was a swear word growing up. Now I miss her. "Gertcha" was said by our parents and mainly our grandparents. We thought it would be fun to bring it back in fashion and also to reinstate the old semi swear word "cowson."

Me: I have to ask you about "Ain't No Pleasing You." That song was a hit single but no one wanted to release it as a single, right?

Chas: Me and Dave were doing it for a year before it was released as a single. The top plugger of the day, Alan James said, "It's a lovely song boys but it's not a hit." We knew it was because of the reaction we were getting. We decided unscheduled to do it on a live TV show. Our manager Bob England said he had so many calls the next day that he was forced to release it. In his words he said it "had its own legs" and it just walked up the chart to number one in most charts. I wrote the tune and the lyrics. Didn't realize it at the time but the lyrics were based on my brother splitting up with his missus.

Me: It's a more serious song... one I can relate to a lot. Is it easier or harder to write a serious song opposed to a song that is more fun like "Rabbit"?

Chas: Not really. Mostly they are both 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration.

Me: Hey, I have to tell you this, recently I interviewed drummer Gilson Lavis about his artwork and I saw this one that he did...

Me: Have you seen it before? What do you think and do you know Gilson?

Chas: Yes. He gave it to me. It's great. Gilson is a great drummer, artist and person.

Me: So, whats next for you, Chas? Are you going to be going back into the studio or hitting the road? You must be itching to play. 

Chas: Soon be back on the road and soon be in the studio recording new stuff. 

Me: Yay! Thanks so much for being here again on the Phile. And thanks for the book. Like I said I really enjoyed it. Keep well, and please come back on the Phile again soon. All the best. 

Chas: Thanks, J.P. Wish you well. Chas.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz and of course Chas Hodges. The Phile will be back Sunday with singers Tracey Bryn and Melissa Belland from Voice of the Beehive. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Monday, September 25, 2017

Pheaturing Friendly Rich

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday, how are you? So, I was wondering... does kneeling during the national anthem make you a Sith or a Jedi? Thousands of Americans have developed a newfound interest in football thanks to a new battle brewing between the NFL and (who else?) our President. At a rally in Huntsville, Alabama on Friday, President Donald Trump railed against national anthem protests and insulted the NFL players who dare (eyeroll) express their constitutional right to free speech on the football field. "Wouldn't you love to see one of those NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, 'Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, he's fired. He's fired!'" Yesterday, a.k.a. game day, the teams had an opportunity to respond... and they all did. Some teams chose to take a knee during the national anthem, others linked arms, some sat on the bench, and more. Here's what a day full of those great American pastimes... football and free speech... looks like. The Steelers stayed off the field for the national anthem, aside from player and military vet Alejandro Villanueva. The Seahawks and the Titans skipped it. The Bills took a knee. The Broncos took a knee. The Saints stayed on the bench. The Chiefs and the Chargers took a knee. The Dolphins wore #IMWITHKAP shirts, then knelt for the national anthem. The Patriots took a knee, with notable exception Tom Brady. President Trump has yet to respond, as he's the President of the United States and has more important things to do than talk about football. Just kidding!
On Saturday night, the beloved Stevie Wonder took a knee during a performance at the Global Citizens festival in Central Park, joining the increasing number of people kneeling for racial justice. "Tonight, I'm taking a knee for America. But not just one knee, I'm taking both knees. Both knees in prayer for our planet, our futures, our leaders of the globe, and our world," Wonder told the crowd. Twitter has a lot of love for Wonder's act of solidarity. People all the way across the globe are following the #TakeAKnee hashtag. His voice is a welcomed and needed tool in this political climate. Wonder is not the only non-athlete to take a knee this weekend, earlier today the actor Michael Rapaport took a knee and called Trump a "dumb motherfucker" in a scathing Twitter video. What? You don't know about this story? Let me tell you...
"Boston Public" actor Michael Rapaport's made a trending video where he lays into the president, calling him a "dumb motherfucker" and a "son of a bitch." The video comes as a direct response to Trump's comments about the NFL on Friday, when he claimed athletes who protest at sporting events should be fired. During his speech, Trump laid into Colin Kaepernick for taking a knee during the national anthem to protest racial injustice. He even went so far as to call the former San Francisco 49ers quarterback a "son of a bitch." Trump's fury towards athletes unfortunately doesn't stop there. On Saturday LeBron James called Trump a bum after the president disinvited Warriors player Stephen Curry from attending the White House in a tweet. This outburst from Trump was a day after Curry already declined the invitation as a form of protest. As a form of solidarity with the athletes standing up to Trump, the actor Rapaport has taken a knee on Twitter in his hilariously scathing anti-Trump video. People on Twitter were here for his fiery commentary. "You took away his invitation... to meet you? Motherfucker, no one from the NBA is fucking with you," Rapaport said in his video, referencing Curry. His unbridled and passionate anger towards Trump summed up how a lot of people are feeling. In the clip, Rapaport even rattled off a list of athletes and coaches who wanted nothing to do with Trump. “Kevin Durant], Lebron James, Steve Kerr, Greg Popovich, Yao Ming, Larry Bird, nobody is coming to fuck with you, man. No one wants to meet your ass," he said. People on Twitter really loved it when he he compared Steph Curry to Mickey Mouse. The Internet was fully deceased. While his rant provided much needed comic relief, it was also indicative of just how many people are angry at Trump for his NFL and NBA comments. In keeping with the rolling tide of athletes, coaches, and sports fan angry at Trump, the former Jets and Bills coach Rex Ryan told "The New York Times" he regrets supporting Trump. "I’ll be honest with you. Because I supported Donald Trump. When he asked me to introduce him at a rally in Buffalo, I did that. But I’m reading these comments and it’s appalling to me and I’m sure it’s appalling to almost any citizen in our country. It should be," Ryan said. Ever former Trump backers don't approve of his NFL commentary. Even the Patriots owner Robert Kraft issued a statement against Trump, this is a man who donated $1 million to the inaugural celebrations. So, it's saying a lot. The statement read, "I am deeply disappointed by the tone of the comments made by the President on Friday. I am proud to be associated with so many players who make such tremendous contributions in positively impacting our communities. Their efforts, both on and off the field, help bring people together and make our community stronger." It would be a huge understatement to say this is a bad weekend for Trump's PR with the NFL and the NBA. In fact, it'd be more accurate to say his statements have garnered a league-wide protest. Okay, enough about this national anthem and protest stuff for a minute. Let's talk about a man gets his penis stuck in a gym weight, shall we?
Of all the places to stick your penis on a Monday, one man in Germany had to pick a dumbbell. As Fox reports, firefighters were called to a gym in Worms, Germany to help free a man and his penis from the grasp of a 5.5 pound weight. It took a grinder and a hydraulic saw... perhaps the two power tools you want furthest from your nether regions... to free the d. To celebrate, the Worms Fire Department uploaded a photo of the weight, broken into five parts, to Facebook.

The firefighters advised Worms citizens to "Bitte solche Aktionen niche nachmachen!", translated in English as "Please do not imitate such actions!" I want to know what he was training for.
For most of us, it's bizarre enough to come across a photo of someone who strongly bears your resemblance. Even the act of listening to a stranger describe your doppelgänger in detail can cause a mini identity crisis. So, we can only imagine the existential dread that hit Anderson Cooper when he hosted three doppelgängers on CNN on Tuesday. I highly doubt Cooper sat down at his desk and planned to host three of his own doppelgängers, because who invites that identity crisis in their life?! Nonetheless, the three guests all appear to be parallel universe versions of Cooper (although arguably he's the most handsome because being conventionally attractive is kind of his thing). Just, look at how uncanny this photo is.

HOW ARE THEY NOT ALL WRIGGLING IN THEIR OWN SKIN?! If I was Cooper, or any of his guests, I would immediately "fall sick" just so I wouldn't have to look at a funhouse mirror of my visage. It seems so uncomfortable. One doppelgänger is terrifying and strange enough, but FOUR in one television screen?! That's the plot to a horror movie. This image gives grown Children of the Corn vibes. This situation does feel plucked out of a sci-fi comic book. Reasonably so, people also noted the quad doppelgänger situation is statistically more likely when a network is hosting lots of white men. The real question at hand is, how did this make Cooper feel?! The world may never know. Haha.
So, I saw this picture yesterday and I thought of something...

Remember when "taking a knee" meant taking a knee? Hey, look at Trump respecting the shit out of the flag...

So, there's a new "Star Trek" show that debuted last night on the Internet. I liked the TV show "Star Trek: The Next Generation" but always wondered why Picard was always seat belted in his captain's chair. What? You don't remember that? Let me show you...

See? I told you. I don't use Activa, and there's a reason I don't use it. Check out their ad campaign...

I don't need anything that helps me poop. So, one of the best things about the Internet is you can look at porn easily, which is not good for me if you get bored by this blog. So, I thought, hey, I can show a porn pic here. Then I thought what if you are looking at the Phile at work or at school... I don't want you to get in trouble. So I thought of an ingenious solution. Check it out...

You are welcome, fellas. Hahaha. A few days ago I asked you guys to send me pics of dogs in pajamas... and you guys are doing a great job doing that. So, here's another one...

That's fantastic! Alright, so, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's stuff that happens in Florida that happens no where else in the Universe. So, here once again is...

Every new mother knows that sometimes we feel like newborn babies are less than angels. That said, it's still very NOT okay for a natal nurse to refer to your days-old child as a "mini Satan." Nurses Allyson Jeanette Thompson and Joanie Barrett at Naval Hospital in Jacksonville, Florida were fired after leaked Snapchats in which they have a nasty photoshoot with (I'll say it again) brand new babies as props. Local news outlet Action Jax broke the news with an instantly infamous tweet that showed a nurse flipping the bird at a newborn she referred to as a "mini Satan." As the "Miami Herald" reports, the nurses were identified and immediately fired. "We have identified the staff members involved. They have been removed from patient care and they will be handled by the legal system and military justice," the hospital confirmed on Facebook. The post has gone viral, with dozens of commenters weighing in on whether they'd want a handler who referred to their baby as Satan. (Spoiler alert: They wouldn't.) "I'm sickened by the actions taken by these two individuals!!!!!” wrote a commenter named Lisa Wagoner Buttrey. “We are suppose to trust care systems... had it been my child they did this to loosing their license would have been the last thing they needed to worry about!!!!!!!!!!” As for the babies in question, their first actions in this world involved going viral on social media and getting two people fired. Won't that be fun to tell them in 18 years?

Hahahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. That's so funny. Alright, so, there's this comedian who I had on the Phile a few times that likes to tell funny jokes, but the problem is he's really old, and it's hard to figure out what he's saying. It turns out I'm old enough to totally understand what he's saying and told him I would translate his jokes for you. Yep. I'm that good. Anyway, please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hey, Alan, welcome back to the Phile.

Alan: Salutations, Jason.

Me: Alright, let's hear today's joke. I'm sure it'll be a good one.

Alan: An arch rogue hearing a woman cry kitchin-stuff ask'd her what it was? That which drops from flesh, says she. Say you so, says he, call to morrow and I'll help you to some. The next morning, she came, and he had prepared a pot half full of sir-reverence; the woman put her arm into the pot, and drawing it out, perceived the abuse, and began to be angry. "Nay, nay," says he, "don't be angry, for this is that which drops from flesh." "Is very true," said she, "and now your flesh appears to me very dry," (stroking his face with her hand) and wants a little greasing, and stands in need of basting too. Which she accordingly gave him.

Me: Hmmm. Okay, I think I got it. Here we go, kids. A woman needs some cooking fat for her kitchen, and a big jerk offers to help her by bringing some over. But instead, he brings over a pot of poop, which the woman realizes when she sticks her hands in it. As revenge, she tells the guy that his face needs some greasing, and she rubs poop on it. That's not  avery funny joke, Alan, but is that it?

Alan: Yessir.

Me: Okay, good, I guess. Alan Raglafart, the 100-year-old comedian, everyone. Thanks, Alan.

The 66th book to be phheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Phile Alum and author Chas Hodges will be the guest on the Phile on Thursday. Okay, so, a friend of the Phile wanted to come on here and express his feelings about having rights. I have a feeling I'm definitely gonna agree what he says. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is.

Good afternoon, phuckerz. Having rights is a wonderful thing... YOU have the right to take a knee, for whatever reason you choose... I have the right to not support you in your right to take a knee... I have the right to no longer watch whatever sport you're being paid way too much money to play... I have the right to not patronize any of the sponsors and/or networks who support your right to take a knee... I have the right to no longer utilize any product or service that endorses you, sponsors you or pays you in any way to display their brand or logo... I have the right to protest YOU, YOUR actions and/or any of the above mentioned products, companies, corporations or networks who support your actions... I have the right to publicly and privately ridicule you and all above mentioned organizations who support your actions... I have the right to be a PROUD American, who defends the flag and what it stands for.... Having rights is a wonderful thing... let me know how all this turns out for YOU.

Liliane Bettencourt 
October 21st, 1922 — September 21st, 2017
Beauty really is only skin deep.

Today's pheatured guest is a Canadian musician whose latest album "The Great Blue Heron" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile, the one and only... Friendly Rich.

Me: Hello, Friendly Rich, welcome to the Phile. How are you, sir?

Friendly Rich: Thanks for having me! I feel fresh, inspired, and happy to spend time with you!

Me: I like your name... I am sure it fits your personality. If I had a name like that and I was a recording musician it would be Cranky Ass Jason. Hahaha. Have you gone by that name a long time, sir?

Friendly Rich: I've worked under the artist name Friendly Rich for 20 years. A friend of mine pasted a photo of my head on top Canadian children's entertainer The Friendly Giant's head for a show flyer in the late 90s. Ever since, I've been friendly!

Me: You're from Canada, right? I ask all my Canadian guests if they are fans of one of my top favorite bands of all time... Barenaked Ladies. Are you a fan? I somehow think you worked with them, am I right?

Friendly Rich: Yes, I dig those guys, and did some work with Jim Creeggan a few years ago, he's a true gentleman, very generous with his time and ideas.

Me: I just listened to your fantastic new album "The Great Blue Heron." Actually, I can't stop playing that album. I recently had to go to Gainesville, Florida which is a two hour drove from where I live and I played it the whole road trip. How did the song "The Great Blue Heron" get its name, Rich?

Friendly Rich: I'm a big Jim Henson fan, and always a Big Bird lover. Well, with those two themes looming, the song practically wrote itself.

Me: The singing and songs are so cool and catchy... did you have fun writing songs like those? Do you have a process where you are always thinking of ideas?

Friendly Rich: Yes, I always have several works on the go. I charted this set of songs more in a lead-sheet style, and they're actually being sold as a compiled songbook via The Canadian Music Centre which is pretty fun. You can check that out here:

Me: I like the song "My Great Grandpa." What is the story behind that song in particular?

Friendly Rich: I have heard stories that my great grandpa, after returning to Italy from the war in Ethiopia, lost his mind. That's what this song's about... as a follow up to this tune, I am almost done writing a love song to my wife, called "If I Should Lose My Mind," which touches on my fear of following in my great grandpa's footsteps, and if I do, that song is there as a reminder of my love for her at its height of me realizing it. Fun stuff. Here's to preserving sanity, and loving your loved ones! 

Me: Awe. Another song I have to ask you about is "The Ballad of Henrietta Lacks." I was gonna ask if she was a real person as listening to the song I had a feeling she was. And then I Googled her... Holy shit! Okay, so many questions... tell the readers what she is known for. When did you first hear about her, Rich? When and how did you first decide to write a song about her?

Friendly Rich: I heard a compelling interview with author Rebecca Skloot on CBC radio, then read her book "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks." Then this tune saw the light of day! She's an incredibly inspiring human...

Me: Another song on the album is "The Man Who Killed Ev Lewis." Is that a real story?

Friendly Rich: Yes, another true story about how the husband of the famous folk artist Maud Lewis was murdered... all of the lyrics are available here:

Me: Do you like writing songs about real events or songs about other stuff like "Frack Song" and "I Ain't Racist, but..." from the album "Bountiful."

Friendly Rich: Yeah, they usually come from some quirky faction of life that I'm either processing, celebrating, or criticizing.

Me: Does your band, The Lollipop People, write their own parts or do you pretty much have everything laid out when you go into the studio?

Friendly Rich: It's a mix. Over the last 20 years I've developed some very meaningful relationships with the musicians I work with. Some new, like with Hawksley Workman and Kevin Breit, and others spanning 20 years. Each musician brings their own voice and approach to the material, which is part of what I really love about the creative process. It's all fermentation...

Me: Your music is very unique with a hint of Nick Cave, Mojo Nixon, Tom Waits thrown in... who would you say your musical influences are, Rich? Who did you listen to growing up? I have a feeling you listened to rockabilly quite a bit.

Friendly Rich: Well, thanks for those kind words. I grew up listening to everything from Renaldo & The Loaf to Rimsky Korsakov and Rush. All who still provide different forms of inspiration to me today. I'm most inspired, however, by my own musical community, as we're a pretty amazing bunch of humans sharing the planet making this crazy art form together!

Me: Alright, so, I have to talk about the video for the song "The Melon Sun" which a group of people called Everything is Terrible! made. Did they approach you or vice versa?

Friendly Rich: I dig what those guys do, and had been in touch with them a few years ago. They agreed that it seemed like a perfect fit, so we went for it!

Me: Tell the readers who they are, and how you discovered them. With the video was it your idea or their concept, Rich?

Friendly Rich: They've been on my radar for years. I pitched the tune to them, and then always like to let the art inspire more art, which is what happened here... with a line like "you don't fuck with the curly fry empire" I think the imagery was inevitable.

Me: The video is a bunch of clips from different commercials over the years, am I right? What is the story and inspiration about the song?

Friendly Rich: It's about a high profile Canadian divorce. The song practically wrote itself.

Me: Is that Yvonne Craig in the blue dress in the video? I have to show a pic...

Me: Looks like her.

Friendly Rich: Yeah, not sure...

Me: I don't think it is. Okay, so, I have to mention Tom Green who you worked with for a few years on his show, doing the music. Did you know Tom for a long time beforehand, Rich?

Friendly Rich: I pitched Tom Green when he was producing his show in Ottawa on cable television, and he loved my music. He ended up using it when he moved over to The Comedy Network in Canada, and then remained loyal when he went over to MTV. We've kept in touch over the years, and he's always remained supportive of my work...

Me: I am guessing it was a fun time working with him, and you have some crazy stories. Is there a highlight of working on "The Tom Green Show"?

Friendly Rich: Yeah, I really admire Tom's DIY spirit, it was certainly a different time in television. 

Me: Do you wish the show continued? If he would do another show and asked you to do his music again would you?

Friendly Rich: Not really, I think it was a beautiful time, and I appreciate it for what it was. And yeah, totally, I'm big into collaboration whenever possible, I was on Tom's webovision show a couple of years back, always try to remain in touch...

Me: I have to mention Ron Sexsmith, who I had on the Phile years ago, and is due back again real soon. You did a show with him, right?

Friendly Rich: Oh yeah, right! When I ran the Brampton Indie Arts Festival, I had the pleasure of presenting Ron in concert. We presented some very important artists over the decade or so that the festival ran, in my hometown of Brampton, Canada.

Me: I was gonna ask you about the Brampton Indie Arts Festival... tell the readers what that is. How many years have you been putting that together?

Friendly Rich: I ran the thing from 1999 to 2009-ish in my hometown, as a way to battle boredom that suburban cities like my hometown are susceptible to. We did some good work together, presenting everybody from The Nihilist Spasm Band to Marc Ribot.

Me: How did you get the idea and get around to do something like that?

Friendly Rich: A few very supportive people who worked with the City of Brampton believed in what I was doing, and took a chance on me. I'm forever grateful to people like this in my life. For this, to you, dear Peverett Phile, I say thanks to you for doing the same and being so supportive of my music.

Me: You are so welcome. Rich, thanks so much for being on the Phile, Please come back again when the next project comes out. Are you working on anything currently?

Friendly Rich: Absolutely, I have a few projects on the go, reworking a Sinatra record, a split 7" co-write with one of my favourite artists Dave Clark and his Woodshed Orchestra, and a one-man show in development!

Me: So cool. Mention your website and anything else you want. Take care, continued success, and come back again soon.

Friendly Rich: Thanks a lot for those interested in learning more, from my podcast, to prior releases you can find it all at  Until next time...

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Friendly Rich. The Phile will be back on Thursday with Phile Alum, the great Chas Hodges. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Pheaturing Phile Alum Anna Coogan

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? Where there is a bigoted billboard, there is an opportunity for a creative clap back. At least, that is the case in this particular story of pizza-themed valor. When an anti-gay marriage billboard moved in next door, a pizza shop in Launceton got creative and wrote the perfect rebuttal.

Can you imagine being so driven by a creepy obsession with other people's sex lives that you put up billboards against gay marriage?! Maybe if the Coalition for Marriage spent more time enjoying the God-approved sex in their heteronormative marriages they would be happier, and less inclined to put up billboards?! We can only hope and speculate. This was the perfect way to deflate the bigoted message of the billboard while simultaneously getting people in the mood for pizza.10/10 strategy. Needless to say, the pizza shop was wildly successful in subverting an anti-gay marriage billboard into a discussion about Hawaiian pizza. In my opinion, we need more pineapple pizzas and less bigots.
The woman who screamed about a service dog being in a restaurant in the now viral video has made her own video (which you can see on TMZ) telling her side of the story. The original video was recorded at Kathy's Crab House in Delaware. The woman, whose name is Ciara Miller, told TMZ that before the camera started recording her, patrons called her all sorts of racial slurs because she didn't like the dog and was trying to leave the restaurant, and that's why she was so angry. She doesn't, however, mention any of that in the video where she's yelling about the dog. Speaking to TMZ, Miller said that she does have family members who suffer from PTSD from serving in the military, and that she does understand the need for service dogs. She just doesn't like them in restaurants. YES, WE NOTICED. But while Miller wasn't a fan of the dog, she told TMZ that she, her husband, and her daughter were on their way out of the restaurant when they were stopped by the restaurant patrons, and that's when the quarrel began. According to Miller, a woman called her the n-word and told her that the dog had more rights than she did. Her daughter isn't in the video because Miller had already taken her out of the restaurant, rather than have her see the argument. No part of this situation is good. I'll update the post if anyone from the restaurant comments.
Not all heroes wear capes, some of them wear DOGGLES (incredible dog goggles) and routinely slobber all over their owner. In fact, I'd go so far as to argue that some of the BEST heroes among us come in canine form. Among these four-legged warriors is the rescue dog Frida who's saved 52 people in Mexico throughout the course of her career. Frida is breaking glass ceilings for dogs everywhere with her work in the search and rescue division of the Mexican Navy, and will continue to do so one rescue at a time. So naturally, when the devastating 7.1 earthquake hit Mexico City last week (leaving over 230 people dead), she put her paws on the front lines to help save people from the wreckage. Ugh, just look at her. LOOK AT HER.

Frida has quickly graduated to the rank of Twitter's most adorable hero. Can we also talk about how she's killing the game in her doggles?! In another life, she could be a doggie steampunk model. She's become so popular online people have already created adorable fan art for her. I could definitely see an Etsy shop of Frida t-shirts going viral. Who doesn't want to wear clothing emblazoned with a heroic dog?! Luckily, Frida isn't too lonely, since she has two German shepherd colleagues out there on the front lines with her. I wonder if her doggie co-workers are jealous of her instant Internet fame. Hopefully dogs are less petty than humans (it wouldn't take much for that to be true). The world needs more brave heroes like Frida. She's a very, very good girl.
Be careful what you wish for, especially when it comes to the evolution of your gorgeous face. The popular 34-year-old plastic surgery lover and Human Ken doll Rodrigo Alves was apprehended by TSA in Dubai when the facial recognition services were unable to match his face with his ID. While I'd be hard pressed to find anyone who day dreams about spending a day in customs confirming their own identity, it does serve as confirmation that Alves has succeeded in reinventing himself. Despite the inconvenience, Alves told "Daily Mail" that he was treated well during the process, and well, this isn't his first rodeo. If having his identity questioned during travels was a violently bucking horse, he would be the alpha cowboy at the rodeo. Just trying to really lean into the rodeo theme. He was en route to attend the launch of a brand new luxury hotel when he was apprehended, so this was like the opposite of pre-gaming. During his three hour interim in customs, Alves said he was able to at least chill. In fact, his description of the process is vastly different than the assumed dark grey interrogation room I imagine when hearing about TSA hold-ups. "I was set down at a very comfy chair and sipping a lovely Arabic Tea just waiting for then to finish their job. Once it was done I as called and the officer gave me British passport back with a silver stamp on it asking me to go to desk number one, where I was then let into the country," Alves told "Daily Mail." Amidst his globetrotting, Alves has recently revealed that he may want to transition from Human Ken doll to Human Barbie doll in coming years. "I am very happy to be a man for now but I don't want to an old saggy man. I will do what Caitlyn Jenner did. When I reach my late 50s, I would rather be a sexy old lady then a saggy old man," Alves told "Daily Mail." Honestly, if anyone can pull off being BOTH Ken and Barbie, it's Alves. He's got the strut and lifestyle on lock.
If you've ever taken an exam where the professor let the class use tiny cheat sheets, you may kick yourself for not thinking of this genius idea first. Reb Beatty, an Assistant Professor of Business Administration at Anne Arundel Community College, always lets his students cram info onto a 3x5 notecard and use it during tests. However, it turns out he failed to specify the word "inches" this semester, and, well, this happened...

Yup... a student made a 3-by-5 foot cheat sheet instead of a 3-by-3 inch one. "First test day of the semester and as always, I allow a 3x5 notecard. Today, a student shows up with this. Sure enough, it is 3x5... feet," Beatty wrote on Facebook. By the looks of the photo, he let the student get away with it. "As precise as I am, apparently I never specified inches and therefore yes, it was allowed. Well played and lesson learned for me," Beatty added. After the post started to go viral, Beatty edited it to respond to criticism that he shouldn't be letting students use cheat sheets at all. Having a 3x5 notecard in an accounting class is "just as much... if not more... a preparatory tool than a test aid," according to Beatty. In case accounting doesn't work out, it looks like this young loophole-finder may have a future in law.
Shit, it's Sunday... instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Ummm... maybe not. You know I love Star Wars and football, right? Well, some people like both of them a little more than I do...

I don't know if your church has a witty sense of humor, but wherever Trinity Church is sure does... have a sense of humor that is.

Hahaha. I do write a lot. I don't know if you're planning to cheat on your loved one, but you might wan an think twice after seeing this...

One thing you might know about me is that I like to follow the rules. Some people though take that just a little but too far...

Hahaha. Poor doggie. Hey, ever read those "Sweet Valley Twins" books when you were a kid? I never did, because they are written for girls. But this one might of been a fun read...

So, here in Florida some people get very creative with their license plates...

Okay, so, one of the best things about the Internet is you can look at porn easily. But the problem with that is you might stop reading the Phile and go look at porn. Then I had an idea... what if I showed a porn pic here. But then I thought what if you were reading this at work. So, I came up with a ingenious solution...

Hahaha. Those crazy kids. Alright, so, a few days ago I asked you guys if you would send me some pics of dogs in pajamas and I have been getting getting quite a few from you guys, so thank you. Check this one out...

Awe. So freakin' cute! How adorable. Alright, so, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's some crazy stud that happens here that happens no where else in the Universe. So, once again here is...

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Likewise, politicians who "like" porn pages on Twitter shouldn't create anti-porn legislation. While these statements might seem painfully obvious, recent news would suggest quite the opposite. According to The Daily Beast, the Florida GOP Rep. Ross Spano shattered his anti-porn image when he "liked" a porno video from Goddess Lesbian Twitter account on Wednesday. While liking and watching porno is perfectly normal for most people, Spano is a man who just proposed a resolution (HR. 157) that would label porn as a public health crisis due to the ways it "objectifies women, normalizes violence and the abuse of women and children." Certainly, there are plenty of issues around objectification, violence, and sexism in the porn industry. But it seems that Spano is merely taking a page out of the GOP playbook. Which is to say, there's a pattern of GOP politicians waging faux concern over the porn industry while secretly watching it (and stripping women's rights in other areas). This is the face of a deeply repressed man.

If there was a scientific study on the correlation between creepy draconian politicans and deep-seeded sexual repression, I have a feeling the correlation level would be 100%. Or at least in the 90s. Spano is certainly not alone with his inner conflict about porn. Just last week Ted Cruz liked a hardcore porn video on Twitter, despite being man who once tried to criminalize the sales of dildos. We need a teen boy to start an outreach program that teaches GOP politicians where to find porn OFF Twitter. According to Spano, the "like" wasn't him, but likely one of his conniving interns. "Obviously, I have a long social media history on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram since I was first elected in 2012. With a thorough examination of my accounts, it will be easy to see that this is not my doing,” Spano told the "Orlando Weekly." “I have since gone back, once notified, and rectified the problem. And I’m now looking into how it occurred in the first place." In Spano's defense, the video showed two women pleasuring each other and involved no violence. So, at least he has good taste in porn.

This is a terrible Mindphuck. If you spot the Mindphuck, and you'd have to be blind not to, let me know.

Are you a lazy person? If so, I bet you are not as lazy as this guy...

That almost looks fun actually.

The 66th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Phile Alum and author will be the guest on the Phile on Thursday.

Today's pheatured guest is a Phile Alum whose new CD "The Lonely Cry of Space & Time" is available now on iTunes. Please welcome back to the Phile... Anna Coogan.

Me: Anna! Hi, there! Welcome back to the Phile. How have you been?

Anna: Hey, thanks for having me back! I’ve been up and down, but coming into fall and all its glory is doing my soul a world of good. So, I’m pretty good right now.

Me: It's been three years since you were here last and since the big things... not all so great happened with me. What has been the biggest thing that happened to you in three years?

Anna: Um... as someone who hasn’t had a kid in my mid-pushing late thirties, I’d say the music is the excitement. Lots of airplanes, lots of shows, lots of practicing. Also, I have a second corgi. Woof. 

Me: Okay, so, I have to tell you that you are one of my favorite singers I met through this stupid little blog. I still play your last CD "Birth of the Stars" a lot. That's a great album! Do people still discover your music through that album, Anna?

Anna: I’m glad you like it, thank you. I still consider "Birth of the Stars" one of my greatest songwriting accomplishments, and working with JD was wonderful. Honestly, I have no idea if people find me through that record, or any records. The Internet is so big and anonymous. People may really dig your music on Spotify, but making them into fans you can connect with is tricky. But every so often, someone really “gets it.” And then it’s all worth it.

Me: On that album you worked with the great JD Foster, who has worked with so many different people and Willie B. Do those two guys play on the new album "The Lonely Cry of Space & Time"?

Anna: "Lonely Cry" is basically myself and Willie B, with engineer Matthew Saccuccimorano at the helm. We were lucky to get JD to play bass on one song though, as well as a few other choice musicians. Mostly, it’s a duo record.

Me: Anna, I am not sure we talked about this the last two times you were on the Phile but you were once a Limnologist... I have no idea what that is. And if I asked you before I forgot. Hahaha. So, what is it?

Anna: The study of inland aquatic systems. I usually worked on lakes.

Me: So, how did you get into that?

Anna: I studied evolutionary biology in college, and my last semester I took a limnology class. Loved the class, loved the professor, ended up working for him for most of five years.

Me: Are you still doing that, Anna?

Anna: No. When I moved from Seattle to Ithaca, I made the transition to being a full time musician. I miss my days on the boat, though.

Me: Okay, so, originally you're from Vermont but living in New York now, right? What part?

Anna: Born in Boston-teenage years in Vermont... young adulthood in Seattle with some time in Austria. Now in Ithaca, New York. It’s a wonderful place filled with waterfalls and musicians and dogs. I love it here. It’s 4 hours from NYC, and I’m actually headed there in a few hours for a show. 

Me: Last time you were here you mentioned Wawa... one of my favorite places. I have been sick and their mashed potatoes are to die for. Haha. You've been to Wawa, right?

Anna: I think I maybe have only seen Wawa. Next time I’m near one, I’m going in, dammit. But in my Facebook days (I’m off for now, sort of) I really enjoyed following your Wawa. Long may she WA.

Me: Haha. You should write a Wawa song. I bet that would kick ass, Anna. Whatcha think?

Anna: Yes. You may need to send me some inspiration for it though. Hot pockets? Gasoline? What does a Wawa do?

Me: Okay, let's talk about "The Lonely Cry of Space & Time." When I heard that title I thought of "Doctor Who." Do you even watch "Doctor Who"?

Anna: No. But my 13-year-old cousin is super into it. He said the same thing though, so maybe you guys are on to something.

Me: What made you chose that song title for the album title?

Anna: This album had a few name incarnations, one of which got terminated because Sylvia Plath’s publisher put the abash on it. But this was such a pretty, hopeful song, and I’m really pleased with the way the song ties into the art and the general sense that humans have done some good things in addition to all the shitty things. I had a bunch of ideas that were shot down because they were just too depressing, and I’m tired of being depressed. Hope! It’s what’s for dinner.

Me: I love this album, Anna. I love all your music. How long did it take you to write and record this album?

Anna: I’m so glad you like the record. I do too, and that’s saying a lot a year after production. This album took several years to write, but only handful of weeks to make from start to finish. (Mad props to Willie for knowing the tunes so well and Matthew for just kicking ass at his job.) That’s the benefit of taking forever to get the concept down: once you finally do, it’s pretty much studio ready.

Me: I did some songwriting in the past for my music project Strawberry Blondes Forever... check it out on iTunes. Anyway, I like to ask writers if writing comes easy to them. Does it come easy for you?

Anna: A most excellent name. I will definitely check it out! Re: songwriting: Not really, it does not come that easily. Not these days anyway. I haven’t written much for the last year, I’ve had my hands full with getting this record to release. When you are not in the zone, it seems impossible, like how did I ever do that, and how will I ever do that again? When I’m in the zone, it’s kind of manic magic: I’m gonna write a million songs and operas and scores and this and that... Right now it’s quiet, but I’m hoping that finishing this record release creates some space for some new songs, even if they are little and simple. I’d give anything for one little song right now.

Me: What is your biggest inspiration when you write, Anna?

Anna: Real life events, or stories? Emotions. Almost always. Occasionally stories (like the story behind "Space and Time"), and occasionally poems, and more recently films. But if I’m feeling longing, or sad, or angry... that usually drives it. Then I try to hide out the emotion in the lyrics so that no one ever knows what I’m actually feeling, or who/what I’m writing about. Tricky!

Me: Alright, so, I have to ask, we have a president who is kinda whacked and could easily blow us all to shit... are you political? Does the current political landscape influence your writing? 

Anna: Honestly, fuck that guy. I’m done being scared. If I’m gonna go, I’m gonna go with my guitar up to 11 and singing poorly executed opera in the back of some dank bar in Buffalo. Much has been made of the political commentary on this record, but right now I want it to be about hope and beauty. 

Me: You have an amazing singing voice... but before you started out as a "pop" singer... I use that term loosely as I don't know what else to call it, you sang opera, am I right?

Anna: Yes.

Me: You sing opera on this album on the song "If You Were the Sun." When you wrote that song, were you planning on singing it opera style?

Anna: This song was part of the original Fall of the House Of Usher film score that we did, and it was written using this voice. This was one of the first songs I ever wrote for the more full, classical approach. I’ve been doing a lot of jazz standards with my students, which has opened up my ears to a whole world of chord changes.

Me: Is regular singing harder than opera singing or vice versa?

Anna: Regular singing is harder. Since I trained as an opera singer, I have a lot more control over that voice, and many more notes are available. I’m often coming up flat in my “pop” voice, which drives me nuts. That being said, singing opera while playing loud guitar over loud drums, that’s tricky. Things get a little out of control, vocally, and when I listen back to live shows I cringe. I’m working on it.

Me: I love the guitar sound on the new album. Do you still prefer to play electric?

Anna: Yes, yes, a million times yes. I’m so in love with the electric. What can’t it do?

Me: Do you write with an acoustic guitar or electric guitar, Anna?

Anna: Generally the electric. Sometimes I want to chill it out a bit, I’ll pick up the acoustic and strum away. But I’m pretty stuck in my patterns there, and I’ve got tendonitis so most of my acoustic guitars cause me pain. I write on the piano sometimes, too, and occasionally just with vocals and drum machine.

Me: Another song I wanna ask about is "Sylvia." Is that song about anyone in particular?

Anna: Sylvia Plath! I followed her down a rabbit hole a few years ago after stumbling upon “The Bell Jar” and a book of poetry. The lyrics to this song came all at once, and I have no idea what they mean on a deeper level. But it’s a joyous song to sing, and it feels right. So.

Me: Last time you were here we talked about you teaching. Do you still teach, Anna? If so, where? 

Anna: Oh, yes. Teaching makes up the bulk of my income. I teach voice, guitar, and when I’m lucky, songwriting. I like teaching quite a bit, although I need to be careful of falling into ruts with it. I teach at several schools in the region, and at home. It’s perfect for me because there are days at a time when I never have to leave the house, and my work comes to ME.

Me: You have performed in the states and Europe... what do you prefer?

Anna: People ask that all the time, but it’s not a fair question. I like to play where I feel respected, where I can earn a bit of money and maybe even get a decent meal and a place to sleep. It’s almost impossible to do that in the U.S.A. anymore. So, overall, Europe. But I do love my home, I love a good dive bar with hotdogs and beer, I love finding new, cool spaces around the U.S.A., and I love American audiences, when there is one. So really, any playing is good playing, most of the time.

Me: Have you ever done a show in Florida? Where?

Anna: No. Let’s do one. You tell me where.

Me: I'll think of a place. I love live albums and think a live album from you would be great. Did you ever think of doing one?

Anna: In 2015 we put out “Anna Coogan and Willie B Live at the Triple Door.” I pressed 150, only have a few left. It was a great show and a good capture... a lucky combination.

Me: Oh, man. I missed it. I was thinking, you have never released a cover, right? Do you perform covers in concert?

Anna: Only covers I have ever done are “The Crucifixion” (Phil Ochs) and “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.” (Gordon Lightfoot). They are probably my most sold songs, too. But I’m too lazy to do more. Covers take time that I’d rather be spending learning new scales, or messing around with film scores, or walking the dogs.

Me: My number one favorite singer apart from my dad of course, is Graham Parker. He's my idol. Anyway, in 2007 on his album "Don't Tell Columbus" he has a song called "All Being Well" which I want played at my funeral. I was thinking today that I bet you could do a kick ass version of it. Maybe on your next album... Anyway, if you could record any song what would it be?

Anna: I’ll definitely check it out! Any song... any song… lemme think… refer to previous answer... Maybe a Foghat song!? Tell me the best one.

Me: You'll do a great version of "Third Time Lucky" I am sure. I have to mention the cover artwork of this album... who did the artwork and what does it represent?

Anna: Q. Cassetti did the art for this record and my last record. She is an incredible artist (she’s done work for the U.S. postal service and IKEA!) She is also an incredibly generous soul who regularly works with struggling artists like myself. The art represents all the things that will survive the “long haul” here on earth. Right now, I look at it as sort of a positive. All these tough, beautiful creatures that will outlive us and carry on, Paris accord or no.

Me: Are those butterflies or moths? I'm such an idiot. Haha.

Anna: Moths. Luna moths, I believe.

Me: Anna, thanks so much for being back on the Phile. I hope this was as fun as your other two times being here. Go ahead and mention your websites and anything else you wanna. All the best.

Anna: Yay! All I’d say is please take a listen to the new record. Share it. I’ll have vinyl in the fall. Buy it! THANKS!,,,

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Anna for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Canadian musician Friendly Rich. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker