Monday, September 28, 2020

Pheaturing Stephenie Meyer


Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Oh my, Vin Diesel has definitely lost his mind during this pandemic. During a live interview on "The Kelly Clarkson Show," the Fast and Furious star decided to show the world what he has been up to during this COVID-19 pandemic, and has stepped out of his comfort zone. Nope, it’s not working on movies or you know, writing a memoir as most artists do, it’s a song. This man decided to release music. Yes, Vin Diesel is now a “pop star.” Well, I wouldn’t say pop star, the autotune is immaculate in this, but still, he tried, I’ll give him that. Man, 2020 just keeps getting weird and weirder, that’s for sure. The actor stated he recorded his creative outlet, "Feel Like I Do," on Norwegian DJ Kygo’s Palm Tree Records. His first single dropped on Friday on Apple Music and Spotify, and of course, Kelly Clarkson had to have the first listen. Diesel stated he gravitated towards “more emotional songs in the past,” saying that everyone knows his love for music. Apparently, the actor initially began making music for his family. Diesel stated that after recording the song, which was written and produced by Palm Tree Records’ Petey Martin, he played it for his dad, Irving. He continued, saying, “I remember my father listening to this song on the beach earlier this year. He really loved it and he said it should be the first song.” As far as what is next for the song, who knows. No word on a new album, new music, or a music video to go along with it, but my gosh, can you just imagine it? Vin Diesel just dancing along to the pop song! He really tried to pull a “Rock Johnson” and dive into the music world. Still, the Furious actor is very happy with his new song, saying that it was a new world for him and he is grateful to be able to make music. When asked how he felt along with the song, he stated, “The simple answer is…blessed.” To all the Fast & Furious fans out there, don’t worry, movie number 9 is due out April 2021. Can we get a Fast: The Musical? His former co-star, the late Paul Walker, would be proud. 

This is how you do it, ladies and gents! Exotic dancers from Atlanta are going from the pole to the poles and are sharing it through their very own public service announcement. Literally. There is now a new ad that has been shared on social media numerous times, featuring exotic dancers encouraging voters to “get your booty to the poll.” 

Ahead of the 2020 presidential election for President Donald Trump and Joe Biden, the very colorful and thoughtful voting ad starts out with pole dancers in lingerie standing in front of a pole and quickly cuts to a dancer saying, “Did we get your attention? Good.” One dancer then states “You know it’s more than just the president on the ballot right?” While another one says, “A district attorney decides to prosecute, including whether or not to go after dirty cops.” So, yes, safe to say that well, that these exotic dancers are definitely doing their job right and using their “platform” correctly. The ad also includes a variety of dancers encouraging voters to let their voices be heard on everything from ending cash bail and subjects taught in schools. That’s when one of the dances quickly ads, “Can’t make it rain if you’re locked up on some bullshit.” As another one urges people to vote for county officials and sheriffs that feel the same way as you would. The screen then cuts to another Atlanta stripper who is twerking in a thong, with the word "vote" written on each of her butt cheeks, as you hear, “Ferguson just elected their first black mayor. You know how that happened?” The ad then focuses on the Black Live Matter Movement, as one of the pole dancers comments how black lives don’t necessarily matter to some of the current elected officials. She comments, “If they matter to you, then don’t let people decide who’s going to run your community. Get your booty to the poll!” The ad finally concludes with telling voters to go and for information on how and where to vote and shows details on candidates in the area. As expected, several slammed the ad as shallow, saying it was an out of touch way to engage with black voters. But, the ad was actually directed and written by a black woman who defended her work on Twitter.

Honestly, just let them be. They just want to make sure people vote. I approve of this ad, hands, and booty down. Atlanta will have a good voter turn-out on election day. 

The moral of this next story should be that you should always wear protection, but I can’t really even emphasize that when it seems like no one can be trusted now. This condom factory got busted for using busted condoms, and I just feel really bad for the people who have already purchased and re-used them in their most intimate moments. Gross. In Vietnam, 32-year-old Pham Thi Thanh Ngoc allegedly had 1,000 used condoms delivered to her factory, where she cleaned, reshaped, and repackaged them to pass off and sell as new. According to the New York Post, the Vietnamese factory had already put 320,000 used condoms in the new packaging, using a wooden shaft to reshape and make them look fresh in the facility located in Tan Uyen Town. Local police officers raided the place and seized 324,000 used condoms to which thousands more had already been sold to poor unsuspecting customers. A government official told the news website VN Explorer, “Condoms are classified as medical items, so we will take a look at the several laws that the owner has broken,” giving no other details about this dangerous operation. I mean, think about it. Reusing dirty rubbers is so wrong in so many ways. Firstly, recycled condoms really shouldn’t even be something that exists. Secondly, reusing condoms that you’ve already used is obviously inefficient. Thirdly, reusing recycled condoms that had been used by someone else is just asking for diseases and is also absolutely disgusting. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention straight up says, “Washing and reusing condoms can lead to disease and infection.” We’re also going through the coronavirus pandemic that requires us to wear face masks everywhere. And if you’ve been paying attention, you would know that making sure your mask is newer and cleaner helps prevent the spread of COVID-19. So I’m laying down the hammer pretty hard on this lady, and honestly, she definitely did not care about any of this over trying to make money. So really, so much for protection, am I right? 

An Oregon man is lucky to be alive after a one-man gun show at the local supermarket went horribly wrong and nearly cost him his genitals and also his life. Twenty-nine-year-old Nicholas J. Ellingford was showing off his gun and how cool it was (or something) in line at a McKay’s Market grocery store in Lincoln City, Oregon... the perfect place to let people know that you’re strapped just for the fun of it... when, upon putting the 9mm Glock back into the waistband of his pants (as a responsible gun owner does) he accidentally pulled the trigger of the gun and shot himself square in the groin. The bullet that Ellingford put inside himself entered his body through his groin and exited through the thigh, narrowly missing his femoral artery. Had the bullet hit that artery he likely would have died. Quickly. Ellingford, who does not have a concealed handgun license, was taken to an area hospital first and then flown to Legacy Emanuel Medical Center Portland because of the severity of his self-inflicted wound. You want to know what the best way to own a gun... a perfectly valid and reasonable thing to do... is? It’s an even quieter take on Teddy Roosevelt’s “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Instead of speaking softly just don’t speak at all. Just carry that big stick and be self-assured in the fact that you’re carrying it. If you’re a gun hobbyist and have something cool to show off on social media that’s one thing. But generally, the best gun owners are the ones who don’t have to talk about it or show it off (unless they need to, which, I assume, Ellingford did not need to given the fact that he was in line at a supermarket). If you’re going to whip your gun out next to a cash register and get shot you might as well be robbing the place.  

The official 2020 presidential debates are set to begin tomorrow, between President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden. The first debate is scheduled to take place at Case Western Reserve University Cleveland. It will mark the first time the two candidates directly face each other. The debates have been highly awaited by Americans since the presidential race has heavily been altered by the coronavirus pandemic. President Donald Trump has held several rallies on the campaign trail, while Joe Biden has kept his public appearances social distance. The first 90-minute debate will be moderated by Chris Wallace, who is the host of “Fox News Sunday.” Wallace has previously been widely praised for the tough interview of President Donald Trump back in July. The debate will air from 9 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Eastern time, with no commercials. Here is everything you need to know about all future presidential debates. After the first debate takes place there will be another debate between the vice-presidential candidates, followed by two more presidential debates. The first debate between Biden’s running mate, Democrat Senator Kamala Harris, and vice president Mike Pence will be held on October 7th at the University of Utah and Salt Lake City. The debate is said to be moderated by Susan Page of USA Today who is the Washington bureau chief. The debate will be held from 9 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. eastern time, also with no commercial breaks. The second presidential debate will be held on October 15th at the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts in Miami, Florida. Like other debates, it will also take place from 9 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Eastern. The moderator will be Steve Scully, who is a political editor of C-SPAN. Unlike the previous debates, it will be held in a town hall format with members of the public asking questions. The final presidential debate will be held on October 22nd at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee. The debate will be moderated by Kristen Welker, who is NBC News’ White House correspondent. It is said to take place from 9 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. eastern with no commercial breaks. You can listen to all the debates on a live stream at It’ll be available on the Big 4 networks. The debates are said to be “no-holds-barred” political battles. But like previous debates, it will likely be more focused than the debates during the Democratic presidential primaries, where there were a dozen candidates on a single stage at once. While there have been several candidates over the years that have spent quite a bit of time prepping for the presidential debate, Donald Trump has indicated that he will not prepare beforehand. The current president said that his work at the White House has prepared him for the debates. Joe Biden did state he doesn’t want to “get baited into a brawl” with President Donald Trump, but that he will be ready for tough and personal attacks all while trying to fact-check the president on his policy. 

Instead of doing this blog I should be listening to this album...

Hahahaha. That's real by the way. So, it's pumpkin season but some companies are going a little bit too far with it.

See what I mean? Keeping up with the youngins and their lingo is tough. Kids these days like to use "emoji," which use small pictures to communicate how they're feeling... kind of like hyroglyphics. When using emoji, it's easy to confuse laugh-crying for just regular-crying, and some boomers and old folks made the unfortunate mistake of using the wrong face at the wrongest possible times. 

RIP, Georgie. Haha. Sugar-free gummy bears might seem like a great idea in theory. But, like so many things being sold to us in a capitalist society, there is a catch. Anyone who's ever tried (or worse, binged) on sugar-free candy knows exactly what that catch is. If you're not sure, just check out this review on an Amazon listing for a 1-lb. bag of Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears. While some people are clearly roasting the product, and others seem to be sharing their (very, very) real experiences, these reviews get 5-stars for hilarity... and extreme honesty.  

So, are you on a dating website? You never know what some pics people are going to post...

Maybe she was on Plenty of Fish. Haha. Last Monday actor Simon Pegg was on the Phile. I didn't get to ask him about something, before Tom Cruise was going to be in Ghost Protocol he was almost replaced by someone else. Check it out...

Howard the Duck. That movie would've been great. I love Howard! Okay, in a perfect world, the expectant parents would be the first to know when there's a baby on the way. But sometimes, that's not the way it works out. A woman emailed the Phile seeking advice after she took a pregnancy test at a girls' night and ended up telling her friends she was expecting before she could tell her husband. Her husband's not happy, and she sees no reason to apologize. 

"My husband and I have been together for 3 years and have been trying for a baby for 2 years with no success. I’ve never gotten a single positive pregnancy test. After a year of trying we went to the doctor and they said my eggs were of low quality. We’ve been considering IVF but it’s very expensive of course. This has been really hard on us but we've been trying to make the best of it. I hadn’t taking a pregnancy test in about 3 months. I was hanging out with a group of my close friends at my best friend’s house. Kind of a girl’s night thing we do. I was complaining that I was feeling noxious and tired. My best friend pulled me aside and asked if it was possible if I was pregnant. I said probably no but I admitted I hadn’t taken a pregnancy test in a while. She insisted I take a pregnancy test since people were drinking at our gathering and although I didn’t really want to she had a bunch of extra tests at her place so I took one. It was shockingly positive. Obviously I was super excited because I have never gotten a positive test in my life. I took another one right away that showed how many weeks along you were and it said I was over 3 weeks pregnant. I was just in a state of shock and basically crying and all my closest friends were at her house and there was no way I could keep silent so I ended up telling everyone at the gathering. Everyone was super happy for me and we spent most of the night talking about my pregnancy. I didn’t call my husband right away because I wanted to tell him to his face and he was on a short business trip so he wouldn’t be back until the next day. However, I did tell him that I have a surprise for him when he get home. So as soon as he got home from his business trip I told him I was pregnant. He was ecstatic and we celebrated for about 10 minutes but then he asked me how many people knew and I told him all the girls who I was with knew and he became angry. He said it was weird that 12 people who I’m not related to knew before he did and I should have told him first and then was angry I waited a day to tell him. I was a little put off by how angry he was as I felt he was taking away from a joyous moment for no reason. Ideally he would have been the first to know but it didn’t work out that way. He said that I should have called him immediately instead of waiting a day and should not told the other people at the party. I find this a bit ridiculous. He then got angry because I wouldn’t apologize but I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong. He thinks this is an example of how I put my friends over him. Am I wrong here? Neither you nor your husband is in the wrong. It's not like you went out with the intention of taking a pregnancy test and it's a good thing that your friend encouraged you to take one so you didn't take any unnecessary risks that night. You didn't really tell them, they just happened to be there when you found out. It seems like there's no clear right way to handle this situation. But apologies on both ends probably wouldn't hurt. If you have a problem you need advice on email me at 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we? It's raining here in Orlando, I wonder if it's raining there...

Looks cloudy but a nice day there. Okay, as I mentioned Trump and Biden are gonna debate tomorrow. Well, a friend of the Phile thinks he knows what's gonna happen. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

Good morning, phuckerz. Look... here’s how it all gonna pan out. Biden never had any intention of debating Trump, ever... there will be a last minute announcement (made by Kamala Harris) as to why Joe Biden will not be able to debate Trump. The reason given will be medical (smart money’s on an alleged COVID scare, close to Biden). Harris will speak of how brave Joe is, how disappointed he is to miss the debate (that he never once prepared for). Harris will describe how grateful Joe was to Ruth Bader Ginsburg for coming up with the idea of Kamala Harris stepping in to debate Trump on Joe’s behalf.... leaving the ball firmly in Trump’s court, as to whether the debates will proceed with Harris as a surrogate or be cancelled altogether... if the debates go forward with Harris, she will aggressively play the racist card with Trump, the COVID Blame card, the sexist “grab them by the pussy” card. She’ll come out swinging and dancing like a prizefighter... in the end, Trump will expose her to the world for what she really is... he will outthink, outclass and outsmart Harris. Trump will use her own past to bury her, her own records, her words and actions. He’ll simply destroy her... as long as he doesn’t get rattled and say something stupid. #Trump2TheSequel.

Battle unicorn

Jackie Stallone 
November 29th, 1921 — September 21st, 2020 
Frank's finally going to have to move out.

A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.” He replied, “That’s all right; we’ll learn about each other as we go along.” So she consented and they were married, and they went on honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 30-foot high board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by three rotations in jack-knife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel. She said, “That was incredible." He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.” So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the ripples from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard. He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?” “No,” she said, “I was a prostitute in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal."

Diet water. Haha. I made a joke up about diet water a long time ago. In Japan it's a real thing. Okay, you know I live in Florida, right? Here's a crazy story from this damned state...

If you haven’t noticed how the coronavirus is making people everywhere go a little crazy, then you’ve been hiding under a rock. And I think rules, manners, and proper etiquette have completely dissolved since COVID-19 changed how the world now currently works. And now, with school going completely online, risqué classroom cameos are a thing. In Boca Raton, Florida, Boca Raton Elementary teacher Edith Pride had a message for her students’ parents at a school board meeting. She said, “Parents, please make sure that you have on proper clothing when you are walking behind your child’s computer because we’ve seen them in their drawers, their bras, and everything else.” Wait, what?! Unfortunately, she had other issues that she most definitely needed to talk to the school district about, but apparently this has become such an issue that she dedicated the whole whopping three minutes she had just to share this message. She continued, “Parents, when you are helping your children at their computer please do not appear with big joints in your hands and cigarettes.” She also mentioned, “Those joints be as big as cigars. Oh yeah, we’ve seen it all.” Although people were laughing at her funny, but actually pretty serious message, other local teachers felt her pain. One teacher said, “I did have a parent who sat on the couch and we could see an ankle monitor on her leg,” while another teacher said, “I had a father, no shirt drinking a beer at 11:45 in the morning.” And some other teachers were anxious about how other students would react to “hard-to-process level of street smarts” by witnessing other students’ hard party homes. Most teachers did report that most parents were respectful in being in the background of their kids’ online classes, but these kinds of incidents must’ve happened enough to create more frustrated teachers. I also don’t know how shameless you are to be able to be smoking weed or carrying around giant joints while your 7-year-old is learning some basic mathematics. But teachers have used this as another example to spread awareness of how tough the school year has been with online teaching sessions. Yes, this is hilarious, but I feel for teachers. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be teaching virtual lessons as an elementary school teacher. I wonder if it’s any easier for middle school or high school teachers. Or possibly worse? Because high school students could be the ones smoking giant joints while learning about Shakespeare too.

Today's pheatured guest is is an American novelist. She is best known for her vampire romance series Twilight, which has sold over 100 million copies, with translations into 37 different languages. Meyer was the bestselling author of 2008 and 2009 in the U.S., having sold over 29 million books in 2008, and 26.5 million in 2009. I wish I can sell as many books. Haha. Her latest book, Midnight Sun is the 136th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Please welcome to the Phile... Stephenie Meyer. 

Me: Hello, Stephenie, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Stephenie: I'm great, thank you. Thank you very much for having me. 

Me: Your book Midnight Sun is the 136th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. I have to be honest, I never read any of the Twilight books or even seen the movies. The anticipation for this book I think was pretty big. What was that like for you? 

Stephenie: It's sometimes a little bit stressful, however on this one it's a little bit hard to spoil. Everyone knows the plot already. So it's not like anyone say "oh my gosh, this happens." Everyone already knows that. So it's not quite as stressful as it usually is. 

Me: Were you excited or nervous before the book came out? I published my first novel in July and was a little bit nervous. The book before this one in the Phile's Book Club was my book. 

Stephenie: Congrats, Jason. I'm a deeply anxious person so I'm always nervous. Excited is not an emotion I experience a lot. Nervous is definitely kind of the common one. 

Me: That makes me feel good, that if I publish a bunch of books and I might still get anxious. Do you think that makes it better with your success?

Stephenie: Actually it makes it worse with the anxiety. It's not like I get into a place where I have been successful and now I no longer feel anxiety. I have been successful so clearly I am the imposter and everyone is going to figure that out. That's how that goes. 

Me: I thought that would go away by the third book, right? 

Stephenie: No. It just gets worse. 

Me: When you out books out is it weird? Do you celebrate? 

Stephenie: It's bittersweet is definitely the feeling. Honestly the way I get through life is not thinking about these things. So I just sort of live in this world where nothing is happening. I haven't written any books, there's nothing to worry about. And then every now and then I have to step out of that little dream world and dream with the reality of it. But yes, it always hard to put my work out into the world. I know there will be people who will like it and people who don't. Now how many people who like it I always feel bad of those that don't. That's always the harder thing. 

Me: That's cool. So, tell me about the book... what is it about? 

Stephenie: It's retelling of my debut novel Twilight from a different point of view of a different character. For your readers who are not familiar, this time we see the story through the eyes of Edward Cullen, the vampire while the original was narrated by the female lead Bella. 

Me: Is it darker than the original? 

Stephenie: Yes, even though it's the same story. 

Me: What do you mean? I can't imagine retelling my book again from a different perspective. 

Stephenie: So Bella comparatively is a very happy go lucky character. She is a hundred percent in for falling in love and having a happy ending. Edward on the other hand, because of what he is and how he views himself doesn't really see himself of worthy of love. He doesn't believe that there is a happy ending possible for he and Bella so he's pretty pessimistic the entire time. This is all going to end in horror and tragedy, that's his mindset. And it's all his own fault because he shouldn't have done any of the things he did, he's feeling spiraling in guilt having massive amounts of indecisions and self doubt. So it's just a harder place to be I think. Also it is a lot more realistic to his own mental state than Bella's is. 

Me: Do you relate more to Edward? 

Stephenie: I always feel like I'm closer to Edward in opinions and how I see the world. When I was writing Twilight I think people saw him as a very confident person, he was very sure of himself, he was in control of any situation. But meanwhile I was always aware of where his head was even fifteen years ago. So to me the things that were coming from him made perfect sense but I don't know if it came across as clear as what really was going on. I suppose I'll know depending on how surprised people are by Midnight Sun, or if they saw it coming. 

Me: Did you learn something new about the story? 

Stephenie: Little things. Like I said I was aware of where Edwards's head was when I was writing Twilight. So it's not a huge revelation but there are moments where I'm like oh, to him this is not a book with a happy ending. Okay, I wasn't expecting that. Things like that. 

Me: Okay, let's talk about the early days, Stephenie. What do you think about when you think about the time you wrote the first book? 

Stephenie: At that time Twilight was just this incredible escape. It was a dream world that I got to spend a bunch of time in. I didn't think about publishing it, I wasn't worried about an audience, I was absolutely just entertaining myself. It was a great time, it was happy memories when it was just me and the stories. I hadn't written a book before but I was an avid reader my whole life and I was somewhat astonished by how much better it was to create my own story. It wasn't just the daydreaming variety, where I sat there and flushed it out but don't do anything with it. But actually writing it down, making it concrete so I can see it and go back and revisit it and toner with it, make it just a little bit better. It was such a more exciting process than just reading a book. I loved it, it was a fantastic experience. 

Me: I feel the same way when I write my stuff. My book came to me in my sleep, how did the idea of Twilight come to you? 

Stephenie: I was in the early stages of being a young mother, my memory had become non-trustworthy. LOL. So I had this interesting dream and I was like oh, wow, I wanted to go back to sleep but I know I'm not going to get back into the dream, I wanted to know what was going to happen next and I didn't want to forget about it so I thought what if I write this down. That's when I discovered this feels amazing to write this down, let's keep going and find out what happens next. 

Me: That's the same kinda thing that happened to me. That's crazy. Paul McCartney also wrote "Yesterday" in a dream. Isn't that spooky? 

Stephenie: No, it didn't feel that way to me because there are a lot of dreams that could have been something. I'm a vivid dreamer and that was just the first time I sat down and written it out. So maybe there were a lot of opportunities I missed up to that point. 

Me: Well, I hope my book have as much success as your book, Stephenie. Do you have any stuff you have started and didn't finish? 

Stephenie: Yeah, I have piles of things that I hope to finish someday. 

Me: Do you have a dream, journal? 

Stephenie: I have dream files on my computer. 

Me: So, how long did it take you to write Midnight Sun

Stephenie: I've been writing it off and on for over a decade. Back in 2008 a rough version of the first fourteen chapters was leaked on-line. 

Me: Oh, man. What did you think when that happened? 

Stephenie: I felt sad about what happened with the book so I put it on hold indefinitely. 

Me: What did it feel like to have part of the book out there before it was finished? I wouldn't know what to think if it happened to me. 

Stephenie: It was a really overwhelming time right then. I was completely side-swiped by that, I didn't know where the leak had come from. I didn't know if my computer had been hacked, I didn't know what was going on and it was right in the middle of a lot of things. The movie was going on, and there was so much scrutiny and I was just super overwhelmed. I'm a fairly shy introverted person and all of that was way outside my comfort zone so it just felt like too much at that point. It took me awhile to write anything just because I was nervous that my computer wasn't safe. Who know who was looking at things, as an introvert I like to work in my own dark little space so no one knows what I'm doing. So that was a lot of emotion, just being overwhelmed and a little paranoid. 

Me: How did you get over it? 

Stephenie: Time. Right now it's hard to remember how I felt because it was so long ago. It was time to be alone with the story. 

Me: So, did you ever find out where the leak came from? 

Stephenie: I have a fairly good idea where the leak came from at this point. Before things got crazy I belonged to a writers group, I had friends and family I would let read a copy of what I was working on now and then. Always people would never make a copy, and share it, obviously not, because they were my friends. But apparently I was wrong about that. LOL. 

Me: Did you think you were betrayed? 

Stephenie: I don't think anybody meant harm by it, I think it was more enthusiasm. It wasn't something though I would've said yes to. It got bigger obviously than I would have wanted. 

Me: Did you ever reach out to that person? 

Stephenie: I didn't. I did not. What would I say? 

Me: Ummmm... "why the fuck would you do that, you piece of shit?" Hahaha. 

Stephenie: That doesn't help anything. 

Me: Was there ever a time you thought you might be done with Twilight for good? 

Stephenie: Oh, lots of times. Most of the time it was when it was the most popular, that's when it's the hardest for me. I was able to finish Midnight Sun because it had just been such a long time since I had to be out in the public eye and I could just work on it alone and say it doesn't matter, everyone has forgotten about it by now, no one is going to read this, it's fine. LOL. That's kind of what I thought, it's been so long that no one would care and it'll be just quiet. 

Me: What keeps you coming back to it? 

Stephenie: Well, with this one specifically there is the knowledge that a lot of really sweet readers, very nice generous people have said the only thong they really want is just to read Midnight Sun so have that finished. And one of those people is my mother, who always just said that's the only thing she wants. In fact one of the times I got restarted into Midnight Sun it was Mother's Day, I had no idea, I had nothing, I did not know what to get her and she said many of times if she could just have Midnight Sun written through the meadow scene of Twilight, that's all she really needed. So I pulled it out and dusted it off and did not make that Mother's Day but the next one I did. It took me a year to write, that was the hardest part to write. So just trying to do a Mother's Day present was just one of the restarts. 

Me: Has your mom read it yet? 

Stephenie: She has. I gave her a copy when it was the first rough draft when it was finished. 

Me: So, it was a long road to get this book out? 

Stephenie: It was an insanely long road. I hope it'll never take me as long to write a book again and I hope there's not a difficult book to write as this one. 

Me: Why is that? 

Stephenie: Because it has been a real obstacle, this thing that will not be finished, this thing that is so difficult to get around but I feel I can't really start something new because that's not what anybody wants. It's been a real challenge. 

Me: Why? Why was it so hard? 

Stephenie: Because the thing that fuels me when I'm wiring is the ability to create, to be creative, to make something new and exciting. So when I'm stuck in this story where I'm locked into dialogues actions and I can't bend those really, there's no creativity. It's just trying to solve all these problems. Why would this have happened? why would this person done this? Let me make it make sense but I don't get to create anything. There was no fuel, it weren't very slowly. 

Me: I cannot imagine rewriting my book from a different point of view. What do you want people to take from it? 

Stephenie: I hope they can be... what's the right word? Forgiving, loving towards Edward even though he's not as perfect as some people wanted him to be. I think as a writer I should be able to go in and write the book from any characters perspective. I should know what's going on enough when some small character that has two or three lines, what is his side of this whole thing? I should be aware of that as a writer, I shouldn't just know my main characters world. So hopefully this just gives a fuller sense to the story. There are a lot of bits that are fun in the midst of it. Anytime it was just Edward alone I could create what was going on, those were the best parts for me. I think to see the story from the non-human perspective, the human perspective we get, that's us. But being not human and having very different priorities and needs I think makes us kind of look how we interpret stories as humans. 

Me: Are you going to keep doing this with the other books in the series? 

Stephenie: No, never. Like I said, Edward is a stressful person to write. He's a pessimist, he's an over thinker, there's a lot of agony and New Moon is his worst experience and I don't think I could survive writing that from his perspective and his experience. It would be a nightmare to live through that. 

Me: Did you learn anything about yourself writing through Edward? 

Stephenie: Maybe a little bit. I hadn't really recognized one of my issues is I have intrusive thoughts about horrible things happening to people I love. And Edward has some real issues with that which actually explains his worst behavior in the novel. The sense of that impending doom. I hadn't put my finger on that is what I was actually doing. I don't know if it helps me to know that. LOL. But at least I'm aware I guess. 

Me: Are there still stories in this Twilight world that you want to tell? 

Stephenie: There are still stories, I love to get to them. I feel like right now what I need to do is create a new world with new rules, new people, a new map at the beginning. Something totally different. But it does feel that I need to go back someday and tell what happens to them, where it for from there. Maybe that's something I should go on and do in an interview and say here's the whole story. If I don't write it at least I have to tell them somehow. 

Me: Tell me on the Phile. Hahaha. 

Stephenie: I'm not there yet. I have to be sure it's the end. On my death bed I'll record the whole thing and it'll be super messy and out of order but it will be there. 

Me: Stephenie, thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope I have as much success as you had with your books. 

Stephenie: Thank you, you're a very nice person to talk to and good luck with your novels.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim, let's see tomorrow if he's right, and Stephenie Meyer for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Friday with actor Kevin Bacon. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Mask it or casket. Kiss your brain.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Pheaturing Rob Paulsen And Phile Alum Jim Cummings


Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Wednesday at Walt Disney World. How are you? For those asking why Mulan speaks in English were you expecting the Lion King to meow the entire movie? So, The following are not allowed in the parks: coolers, umbrellas suitcases, lawn chairs, ironing boards, bird cages, card tables, or pianos. Halloween is in full swing at the Magic Kingdom! Soaring temperatures,  melting candy, no one in costume. Please note a power surge is affecting the Hall of Presidents: Wilson is pop-and-locking, Tyler's eyes are on fire, LBJ's head has melted, and Lincoln keeps saying "SMORP." So, here's an advice if you're visiting the parks... bring your own plexiglass. Please note that when the park is between holidays some Cast Members become frightened and confused. If you're just now entering the park, your day will likely include zero rides, zero shows, zero character interactions, and five cheeseburgers. Disney is now hiring Thanksgiving Cast Members. They must hate football, must be okay with being hired 11/25 and laid off 11/29, must be grateful for at least three things, and must be white.

Let's start off with some good news... from this crazy ass state. The Aiken Department of Public Safety stated two missing South Carolina boys have officially been found safe in Florida. According to authorities, 9-year-old Matthew and 7-year-old Jerry Kinman were located in good condition at a home in Panama City Beach, Florida. Their mother, Nancy Christina Kinman, who was initially wanted for questioning in connection to their disappearance, found with the boys. Aiken Police had initially issued an alert, saying that the boys had been taking from their bedroom at their home during the night. 

A pretty spectacularly entertaining fight video is going viral in multiple corners of the Internet this week, in large part due to its unique setting. The two-man throwdown takes place in a bathroom, which in and of itself isn’t that wild of a place for a fight to happen, especially since it appears to take place at a school. It’s a high school bathroom. Kids are going to vape and fight and do God knows what else in there from time to time. Rather, it’s where this fight bleeds into. Specifically, a locked stall in said bathroom. More specifically, a locked stall that had some poor bystander pooping in it. There can’t be too many worse surprises while sitting on the toilet. Here's a screenshot...

This poor kid. He’s just trying to get some peace on the toilet. A break from whatever boring as hell class he was in. Maybe a reprieve from the general social anxieties that come with being a high schooler. And then what happens? Two random kids who are beating the hell out of each other just into his safe space and keep wailing on each other. The worst part is he had to have been sitting there fearing it might happen. He was obviously on the toilet before the two combatants entered the arena, so to speak. So he heard them come in, talk shit and then start hitting each other. At that point he had to be sitting there hoping he could 1) finish as fast as possible and 2) remain hidden until the festivities ended. Alas, that was not the case. The fight entered his stall and continued next to him, while his pants were around his ankles and he clasped his knees together to hide himself. He is laughing though, so at least he’s enjoying the absurdity. 

A Roseville, California man is suing Starbucks because a drive-thru cashier spilled piping hot tea onto his hands and lap, causing third-degree burns on his hands and genitals and, he claims, making sex painful and awkward. Tommy Piluyev was in a Starbucks drive-thru in 2018 when his hot tea was dropped on the window sill of the drive-thru window. The impact caused the lid to come dislodged and the scalding drink spilled over his hands, stomach, and pelvis, burning his exposed skin and burning him through his clothes as well. As far as I know he wasn’t driving pantsless. The then 22-year-old ended up spending 11 days in the burn unit at the UC Davis Medical Center. Along with being unable to have sex comfortably thanks to his genital scalding, the burns on his legs made it so difficult for Piluyev to walk that he practically had to re-learn how to do it. Starbucks released a statement in response to the suit. “We are currently evaluating the claim. Our partners take great pride in ensuring our beverages are crafted with care and delivered to customers safely. We take our responsibility to provide a safe environment seriously and will continue to do so.” Piluyev’s lawsuit is against both Starbucks and Pactiv Packaging, who makes lids and containers for the coffee company. The suit alleges that Pactiv Packaging and Starbucks knew about the packaging being faulty based on roughly 80 complaints made by Starbucks employees. According to Piluyev’s attorney, her client still needs laser treatments and plastic surgery to repair his injuries. It’s unfortunate this happened but it’s always nice to have a reminder that fast food coffee is served WAY too hot so that when you go through a drive thru to get a latte or whatever you remain vigilant and aware while making that tenuous handoff. You let your guard down and the next thing you know your scrotum has melted to your thigh. Rooting hard for Piluyev here. Even if the lids weren’t faulty, all of these drinks are served irresponsibly hot. They’re undrinkable for like twenty minutes. It’s a cup of acid when they hand it to you. That's why I only drink cold drinks by the way. 

The year 2020 has just turned into the year where we see an epic face off between Star Wars and "Star Trek." Screen legends Mark Hamill and Patrick Stewart are facing off in an awesome new Uber Eats ad over ... tomatoes. Hamill shared the Uber Eats ad on his official Twitter account and even made sure to tag his "nemesis."

 The ad plays out with Hamill walking in with a baseball bat and announcing that he's having "a veggie cheeseburger on ciabatta... no tomatoes." That's when Stewart arrives with a cricket bat, visibly irked by Hamill's "no tomato" comment. "I'll be eating four-cheese tortellini with extra tomatoes," he says, emphasizing the different pronunciation on the last word. At this point, Hamill is ready for the fight but they are interrupted by the arrival of their Uber Eats orders. That's when we get to the hilariously confusing part. "Careful now, old daddy's not here to save you," Stewart tells Hamill who quickly replies, "Oh, I am my daddy." It's a hilarious ad that shows off each actor's humor and comedic timing. I'm loving the idea of seeing the men who play Luke Skywalker and Jean-Luc Picard just cutting loose and having fun with this ad. 

It looks like Hong Kong Disneyland is once again feeling pretty confident after it had to shut its doors earlier this year. Disney has just confirmed that Hong Kong Disneyland is ready to re-open this week. The confirmation comes from the official Disney Parks News Twitter account which posted the announcement. 

Hong Kong Disneyland was one of the first establishments to close its doors earlier this year due to the coronavirus outbreak. However, it was also one of the first tourist spots in China to re-open in June when the country announced that it had been cleared of COVID-19. Sadly, Disneyland had to close again just a month later due to yet another outbreak. It is still unclear if Hong Kong Disneyland will manage to stay open in September. However, there are certain protocols in place for interested visitors. For instance, you will need to reserve a spot at least a week before your intended visit. The only way to avoid the wait is to be a Magic Access member, who only need to reserve a day before their intended date. Hong Kong Disneyland reservations are now open for Magic Access members. General reservations will be open on today. The park will be officially open on September 25th. 

Are you fans of the 101 Dalmatians? Do you wonder what they're up to today? I will show you. 

Awe. Poor puppies. Well, when you go to the Disney parks you have to wear a mask. Here's a poster with Jiminy Cricket to explain why...

Have you been on the Jungle Cruise at the Magic Kingdom recently? They added a new scene. Check it out...

Oh, Disney... cashing in again. When you go into the parks now this is what you have to get through...

Hahahahaha. So, you all heard of Walt Disney, right? Well, have you heard of Wolt Fisteys. Back in the day he had some real masterpiece books out. Like this one...

Oh. Man. Moving on... Have you seen the movie Hercules on Disney+ recently? If you have you might have seen they changed a few things. Like this one...

That's so dumb. Haha. Have you ever paused a Disney movie on DVD or Blu-ray or digital? Its fun to do. Take a look...

Hahaha. There's a new Disney+ TV show coming out soon and I have the exclusive reveal right here...

Ta-da! Should be good. Speaking of Karens...

Okay, bye. Boy oh boy. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Things Said In The Last Week Of Summer 2020
5. My brother has a fire drill tomorrow on Zoom. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
4. I wanna return to 2011 when my co-worker was dating the drummer for Band of Horses and they were considering a couple's tattoo.
3. Apologies to my therapist but after the pandemic, I'm calling off boundaries. Personal space is cancelled. Starting in 2021 it's wither absorb every atom of my being or GTFO.
2. The good news is the apartment above me got a drum set.
And the number one thing said in the last week of summer 2020 was...
1. I try and only eat one big meal a day like a snake, the skinniest animals I know. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?

Looks like a nice day and some people seem to have a table set up in the park and having lunch. That's cool. Okay, here's a story from this crazy state of Florida...

What in the world is going on? I really don’t get how anti-maskers go to the extreme to prove a point that does not exist. Everyone here is worried about trying to not get the coronavirus and trying to stay safe and sound. But this Florida bar owner is so ignorant, to the point that they decide to make his own rules despite the safety guidelines that we are all following. Gary Kirby, owner of Westside Sports Bar and Lounge, has decided to ban customers from wearing any face covering at his West Melbourne, Florida bar. The sign reads, “Masks Prohibited. No more masks. End this nonsense. All over the world. We will all stop wearing masks. Just throw that filthy thing away.” In West Melbourne, bars and restaurants are not required to have mandatory mask policies but they need to advertise their own policies on their front door. According to Kirby, he doesn’t believe in face masks, adding that he finds face coverings problematic for several reasons. He noted, “In the event that law enforcement was to need to use my security cameras, I feel that somebody wearing a mask could impair their ability to do their job.” The business owner tried to prove his point by saying it was a “security issue” noting that he was recently robbed and the suspect was wearing a mask in the bar. As far as a crime itself, well it has yet to be solved due to not being able to see the suspects face on the security cameras. Can someone fact check this for me, please? Kirby also believes that face-coverings make it difficult for bartenders to perform several important elements in their roles. He stated, “My bartenders need to verify identity. How can you be so sure it’s me if I’m wearing a mask? It’s also the bartender’s responsibility by law to make sure guests aren’t being over-served. How can they tell that if they can’t see someone’s face?” Currently, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC, recommend that bars and restaurants require cloth face covering or face masks for all staff if possible, citing on-site dining with both outdoor and indoor seating is the highest risk category if tables are not distanced and capacity is limited. Since Westside also serves food, the bar has been able to stay open at a very limited capacity throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, except for when the local government decided to shut down all restaurants temporarily. So far, none of the employees have come down with COVID-19, stating the restaurant to take extra safety precautions. According to the owner, the Florida sports bar is still practicing social distancing, takes extra steps when it comes to cleaning, and has been “left to survive the pandemic so far.” The owner also noted that he had several compliance checks by several agencies of the State of Florida, and there hasn’t been a single complaint. Besides the ridiculous no-mask policy, the owner did note that their tables are separated by six feet and they conduct regular temperature checks by a doorman. In the case that one of his employees does contact COVID-19, they will need to quarantine for 14 days, will need two consecutive negative tests before returning to work, and encourages all his employees, including himself and customers, to do the same. Honestly, this to me seems insanely dumb. I can’t wait for this place to blow up and have multiple coronavirus cases in Florida because of this. Honestly, it’s a piece of face cloth. It doesn’t cost you anything. All you need to do is put it around your mouth and nose for protection. That’s it, we’re not asking anything else from you. This is so selfish, especially for a bar owner. This is why we can’t get better people, he is seriously playing with fire. Wear masks, don’t be dumb. Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes social media has defiantly been bashing on the bar. Can’t wait to see how that goes. At this point, you’re safer going to Walmart. 

The 136th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Stephenie will be on the Phile on Monday. Okay, wanna laugh?

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex!" He replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said. "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree!" Horrified, she said. "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly!" She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here!" She said. "You must put it in here!" Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right between her legs. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed. "What did you do that for?" "Tarzan check for bees!"

Okay, this is cool. Today's guests are two gentlemen who are both American voice actors. One is an  actor, voice actor and singer, who has done many voice roles in various films, television shows, and video games, and plays PJ in A Goofy Movie, which celebrates 25 years this year. The other is a Phile Alum and an actor and singer who played Pete in A Goofy Movie. Please welcome to the Phile... Rob Paulsen and Jim Cummings.

Me: Hey, guys, this is so cool to have you both here on the Phile from Walt Disney World. One of you have been on the Phile before and one of you are new. How is it going? 

Jim: Hello, citizens,

Rob: Hello, Jason.

Me: Rob, I'm so excited to have you here. You played Yakko Warner in "The Animaniacs," but you're here to talk about A Goofy Movie. You played someone named PJ. I don't know much about him, what can you say about him? 

Rob: I haven't done that show, "The Animaniacs" for 25 years, but glad to be doing it again. Anyway, I think PJ's a sweet character and a real loyal friend. Those are qualities I think I possess. I certainly have known to be a smart-ass like Raphael. PJ is kinda of a goofball and I'm certainly that. PJ is a big, simple, happy go lucky goof. That's kinda me. I'd like to think I'm more complicated than PJ intellectually. I'm just a big kid and like to have a good time. 

Me: He's Pete's son, right? 

Rob: Yeah, and luckily I didn't have to be a big obnoxious asshole like my "dad." Pete is played of course by Jimmy Cummings who is none of those things. It shows you what a great actor Jimmy is. He's the most down to earth, kind, funny, great sense of humor, but not all a blowhard like Pete. He's not like that at all. Jimmy nailed it, man. He's such an incredibly gifted actor. He can play anything like Pete, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Taj. He's the master at replicating incredibly popular characters with all the nuances that made them would famous to begin with. But then he can create his own stuff like Darkwing Duck, and other things that are so incredibly wonderful. And be known and loved for all of it. He's a pretty super gifted guy. 

Me: Jim, Pete is such an iconic Disney character. You knew about him before, right? 

Jim: He's one of those guys that every one of us already known. When we are little kids coming up we don't realize the age of certain cartoons, at least I didn't. Pete was tied for first place if you think about it, he's the oldest Disney character because he was in "Steamboat Willie" with Mickey. Mickey is whistling and there's Pete, he's in that same cartoon. Everybody kinda knew him. 

Me: Did you like Pete as a character? 

Jim: Yeah, I always thought he was kinda cool. He always reminded me of someone from a series called "The Bowery Boys." it was policeman who always messed with Laurel and Hardy when I was a little kid, he still is. Ha ha. He always reminded me of Pete and he was having fun because he wasn't a super bad guy but he was more obnoxious goober. We need that because we can't have a true villain with Mickey and Goofy. We just need somebody to give them some guff and friction and he provided that. Those kinda characters are a lot of fun to do because they're not too traditional. Mickey's to busy being virtuous and Goofy's to busy being goofy so they cannot provide that sort of friction it takes. So Pete walks in and says, "You remind me to study hard because I don't want to end up like you, pal." He has those upside down compliments.

Me: Did you have fun playing Pete? 

Jim: I loved doing him because I got to make fun. I remember one time he crawled out on the roof on "Goof Troop" and scared the bejesus out of the kids. I think it was the Halloween show or whatever, and he got chastised by Peg, played by April Winchell on the show, and he said, "You know, I think a stick to the system is good for the little weasels." He had all these terrible philosophies. When he says something kind to his son PJ, "You're daddy's favorite little write-off." There's always something in it for him. It's such a kick, it's so much fun. 

Me: I had no idea that Dana Hill, who I know from National Lampoon's European Vacation, and I remember seeing her on TV throughout the 70s and 80s I think it was. She was the original actor to play Max Goof. What was she like? 

Rob: Oh, she was delightful. She was a wonderful actress. 

Me: Did you know about her beforehand from the stuff she did? 

Rob: Yeah, she looked much younger than she really was age wise. She did a great movie with Albert Finney in the late 80s I want to say, early 90s called Shoot the Moon. She was fantastic in it and that's where I think I first saw her being a fan and then I worked with her for a couple of years on "Goof Troop" before she unfortunately passed away from her diabetes. She was just delightful, great sense of humor, obviously gifted. Loved doing the voice acting thing. She blended in with all of us even though she was in all practical purposes a budding upcoming movie star. She had no pretense about her. I miss her, she was a delightful lady. She was very sweet and certainly died much too soon. She had real serious issues obviously with her diabetes, I believe it was a diabetic coma that ultimately took her life. She accomplished a lot of stuff in a short peeped of time. The legacy of that show is a real feather in her cap. 

Me: Rob, can you believe 25 years ago that A Goofy Movie and "Disney's Goof Troop" is still popular? 

Rob: I have to say, Jason, I cannot believe that people love this show and movie so much. I had blast doing it and I do a lot of personal appearances and when people find out I played PJ they get a kick out of it. I have no idea the level people still enjoy "Goof Troop" and A Goofy Movie. It's pretty cool. 

Me: Was it weird working with Jason Marsden who took over playing Max from Dana? 

Rob: That happens often, people get replaced on things. Obviously when someone dies there's no choice. Sometimes it happens over a contract dispute, getting a job that stops them from getting that job again, its not unusual but difficult for the one who has to take over but for Jason the bar was pretty high because what Dana did. And he clearly reached it and even surpassed it because people love him. 

Me: Jim, what was it like working with Bill Farmer who I had on the Phile not long ago? 

Jim: Oh, it was just a lot of fun, We knew each other so well. I always enjoyed his timing. They were kinda like Hope and Crosby. One guy was sort of a straight man and a bumbler and the other guy was a wisenheimer. He was a con man so that's a potent combo right there. Anything goes. He always pretends to take Goofy under his wing and give him some advice but he ends up picking his pocket instead. It's always a fun ride. 

Me: What would you do if you had a neighbor like Goofy? 

Jim: I'd be Pete. Hopefully I could ignore him enough and that wouldn't matter. I wouldn't let him detail my car. Goofy is like all 3 Stooges all rolled into one. You don't want him as a caterer. He's not the guy where you'd say, "Help me, I'm opening up a China shop. Would you lie to be my manager?" No. Just don't go there. 

Me: Jim, did you ever have change a voice that people knew? 

Jim: When we did Jungle Book 2 of course Phil Harris was gone anyway, then when we did "TaleSpin" Ed Gilbert who had passed on too was basically doing Phil Harris who was the original Baloo. Then when they went on to do Jungle Book 2 other than get another Phil Harris clone they decided to get John Goodman who is kinda in that neck of the woods anyway. He doesn't sound like Phil Harris but he's in the Baloo zone. Whereas Steve Martin for crying out loud, he's funny but he's not Goofy funny. He's more, I don't know, cerebral funny or what have you. 

Me: Why didn't the other Goofy voice work? 

Jim: Goody is not going to cone out and say, "Sorry, old boy, do you have some Grey Poupon?" That might be funny for one episode, like if he got hit in the head. Then he'd have to turn back into Goofy. 

Me: I've never seen A Goofy Movie. When you first saw it, what did you think? 

Rob: I'm ashamed to say this but I don't think I ever saw it. That's not unusual, sometimes I do work and it comes out a year later, it goes to a movie theater or a screaming comes up and I'm not available for the screening. Probably the work I've done throughout my career maybe seen 15% of it, because it just comes out a year or two later. 

Me: Jim, are you surprised how popular the movie is still after 25 years? 

Jim: I'm pleasantly surprised but not overtly by the fact that was an evergreen show. There is nostalgia for shows that have heart and the characters that people cared about. There was one guy that was a real eye-roller and one guy that someone was routing for, another guy that was funny and another girl that was incredible. They cared about the characters, they cared about what happened to them. They wanted the best for them. They always rooted for Goofy because he was the underdog, no matter where he is. 

Me: Here's a question I wanted to ask Bill Farmer but didn't. Jim, is Goofy really a dog? 

Jim: Yes, he really is a dog, doggammit. 

Me: What were your thoughts when they announced A Goofy Movie being made? 

Rob: Oh, well, my God, I was grateful. Its funny, people ask me if "The Animaniacs" came back would I do it? Yeah, in a heartbeat. It wasn't like I had to think about it. When they said they were going go do a Goofy movie because the series had generated a lot of interest, I don't think any actor would say nah, not interested. Unless they had another super gig, and then even then it was a great experience. It was directed by Kevin Lima who I adore, there was no reason not to do the movie appear from the obvious reason to do it because I was working. But I cannot think of any other reason the actors don't want to do it because they're all assholes. They were all my good friends so that was a no brainer. 

Me: Jim, what are your finest memories of both "Goof Troop" and A Goofy Movie

Jim: Oh, gosh, I can remember we did a lot of ad-libbing, we did a lot of improv. Some of those things are always a lot of fun for me because I like to go off the sprit, As long as I'm still servicing the story and propelling to forward and not stopping it for a wittism then pick up the plot line and move it forward. As long as it incorporates into the plot I'm okay. I can remember there was a lot of decision making going on in the booth, at one point I can remember Jason, Bill and I were at the studio and we all looked at each and sort of laid down on the floor. They looked for us and were like, "Where they'd go?" "We are here. We are laying down waiting on you guys." They were like, "Fine. Sorry. We get the hint." It was just fun, we did a lot of rewrites and a lot of redos. The whole thing was fun. I remember learning the choreography was fun. I'm kidding, don't worry, that was a joke. We don't dance. Ha ha ha. 

Me: Pauly Shore did a voice for A Goofy Movie. What was your feeling when they cast someone who wasn't a voice actor. Were you scared, Rob? 

Rob: Am I scared they won't do a good job? 

Me: Yeah, or scared that they won't take it respectively. 

Rob: I don't care. Listen, that doesn't matter to me. I never met Pauly back then, I don't think we worked together on the movie. Often in features we work by ourselves. Frankly myself session time I'm booked to be there X amount of hours and if I can't get it done because an actor is taken too long they'd rebook me and pay me again. Pauly did a great job. These folks at Disney know what they're doing, if they want to hire a guy or girl for a specific role good for them, they know what they're doing I hope. How am I going to argue with the success of Disney? If they want to hire my mail carrier, the talking jukebox because he has a unique voice. He's not an accomplished actor as far as I know but that's not my decision. I'm a hired gun and happy to be there. I don't like it when people are unprofessional. But that ideally doesn't come out of them because they may be out of their depth. Being unprofessional I meant being rude, or show up a little tanked, show up an hour late. That stuff bothers me but if they're having trouble figuring it out or not quite accomplished because maybe they haven't done as much work as I have it's not my project, I didn't hire them. The same people who hired them hired me so I'm grateful to be there. 

Me: Jim, in twenty years from now do you think people will still be talking about A Goofy Movie

Jim: Yeah, and all the other Disney Afternoon shows, but 20 from years now is probably unlikely that people are going to be sitting around going, "Gosh, back when we were kids it was great to have those 'burp' shows. Some of those 'burps' were so good. And when they had the booger flinging contest. They don't make good booger cartoons like they used to anymore." We're just not going to have that conversation, know what I mean? 

Me: I agree 100%. I take it you don't like cartoons of the present? 

Jim: There's nothing wrong with scatter logical humor here or there but I don't know, its like stick value for the sake of shocking and incorporating it into a story where it has meaning. Things are different. Ever generation has said that since the age of Romans but that doesn't make it untrue. 

Me: Guys, this was so cool. Thanks for coming on the Phile. 

Rob: Thank you, buddy, for talking to us. 

Jim: It was great to be back on your cool blog, Jason. Keep it going, man.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Rob and Jim for a cool interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with author Stephenie Meyer. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain!

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon