Pheaturing Larry Kenney

 

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? It's November! This month expect the second wave of crab people. So, apparently if you yell "ThunderCats" and they don't reply "hooo" leave them, you don't need that negativity in your life. Okay, let's start off with a story about some photos showing authorities having to cut a bear’s head off while it was biting a man’s leg, shall we? If you're  hoping it was a story about a park ranger who was for some reason armed with a katana and decapitated a bear in one swing as it attacked an innocent bystander, I’m sorry, you’re not that lucky. You never are. Still though, people had to cut off a bear’s head while it was biting a guy! That’s not nothing. A rancher and big game hunter was out exercising his hunting dogs near his home just outside Raton, New Mexico when he came across a pissed off bear. The hunter, Bridger Petrini, admits he got too close to the bear, which almost immediately pinned its ears back and charged the man. The bear pounced and the collision sent both Petrini and the bear tumbling down a hill. The bear started biting Petrini but, according to the hunter, it wasn’t able to get at his torso, just his legs. In the midst of the attack Petrini was able to pull out his handgun and kill the bear with it. Problem solved? Nope! Because of this…

The bear was dead, but its jaw was locked onto Petrini’s calf muscle. The Raton Fire Department responded to the emergency and, after trying to maneuver the big dead bear in a way that would make it possible for them to safely remove Petrini’s leg from the bear’s mouth, they realized that they were just going to have to go ahead and cut the thing’s head off. So they sawed off the bear’s head and were finally able to get Petrini’s leg out. Petrini was taken to a nearby hospital and received over 200 stitches for his injuries. He was in the hospital for a week, and his right leg suffered extensive nerve and tissue damage. No word on if Petrini kept the bear head but… he’s got to keep that bear head, right? Feels like the obvious move for a big game hunter. 

Bruce Springsteen is at it again. The singer bluntly stated the White House was in need of an “exorcism” in the latest installment of his radio show, "From My Home to Yours," which focused both on the upcoming 2020 presidential election and Halloween. The singer, who has previously spoken about President Donald Trump, revealed that he would move to Australia if he were elected. Sharing through clips from his E Street radio program on SiriusXM, the singer is heard criticizing the president and the Trump family for their “lack of culture and value” while in the White House. He stated, “It is time for an exorcism in our nation’s capital. Welcome to our Halloween/Election Day monster mash. This is Vol. 14 of ‘From My Home to Yours’ titled ‘Farewell to the Thief.’ In just a few days, we’ll be throwing the bums out. I thought it was a fucking nightmare but it was so true.” Springsteen gave a monologue that insulted the first family or not demonstrating moments of levity and compared them to past presidents’ families such as Kennedy, Bush, Reagan. and Obama. He noted, “There’s no art in this White House. There’s no literature, no poetry, no music. There are no pets in this White House, no loyal man’s best friend, no Socks the family cat, no kid’s science fairs, no time when the president takes off his blue suit, red tie uniform and becomes human. Except when he puts on his white shirt and khaki pants uniform and hides from the American people to play golf,” he says. “There are no images of the first family enjoying themselves together in a moment of relaxation. No Obamas on the beach in Hawaii moments, or Bushes fishing in Kennebunkport, no Reagans on horseback, no Kennedys playing touch football on the Cape.” Springsteen added that he doesn’t necessarily know where the country is going, stating, “Where did all the fun, the joy and the expression of love and happiness go?” He ended his segment by lamenting the loss of what he personally believed made “America great” before telling listeners to vote President Trump out of office on November 3rd and vote for Joe Biden. He hasn’t been shy when it comes to what he thinks of the president. He previously used his radio show to directly criticize President Trump. In June, the singer dedicated a lengthy amount of time to lambasting the Trump administration’s way of handling the coronavirus pandemic and accused Trump. of not wearing a face mask. 

A little boy who was just trying to enjoy going down his slide had his day ruined when a scary frog jumped on him and he had no idea what to do about it. There isn’t a lot to say here. A boy was trying to enjoy his slide and his day was ruined by this terrifying amphibian that jumped onto the boy’s arm. Clearly, as the video shows, the boy does not like frogs. Here's a screen shot...

It’s unclear if this is the first time he’s had a run-in with a frog or if he and the animals have a history. Maybe the young boy was just in a bad mood? Hard to say. All that is certain is that he wanted no part of this frog. Unfortunately for him his mom, who he presumably was desperate to have saved him only seconds before, made matters infinitely worse when she poked the frog and it jumped onto the kid’s face. Then things went from unnervingly tense to pure terror. And, naturally, this was all filmed and posted to social media. He’s probably going to freak out every time he and his mom pass by a box of Smack’s in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. This is a recovered memory in the therapist’s office type of moment. “Mom, I realized that I haven’t trusted you since I was 4-years-old and you caused that frog to jump onto my face. I guess that’s the root of my issues with you and why I can’t come to Thanksgiving even though it’s probably dad’s last.” Kids: so easy to screw up! 

The kind of nightmares one would have if they saw little kids running around Walt Disney World with loaded guns, sounds like something out of a dystopian, post-apocalyptic, Lord of the Flies kind of movie. But that’s what this Georgia mom was implying when she got arrested at the entrance of Walt Disney World‘s Magic Kingdom for carrying a loaded gun. She had “told her son to hold it for [her]” according to WTSP after she did in fact admit it was hers. Twenty-seven-year-old Marcia Shantel Temple of Lithonia was caught carrying a concealed firearm, specifically a loaded silver and teal 9mm, after a hospital employee that was checking incoming visitors’ temperatures (due to COVID-19) at Magic Kingdom’s Ticket and Transportation Center witnessed her strangely drop a pink purse behind a planter, as told by the Orange County Sheriff’s Office. As Temple walked through the security checkpoint, the health worker immediately told Disney authorities, who then contacted the nearest Orange County deputy. Temple confessed immediately, saying that it was hers. But what was confusing was the motive. The deputy, clearly confused, asked why on Earth would she ever bring a loaded gun, one that had 10 rounds in it, to Disney World. And the answer she gave was just… weird. She blamed bringing the gun to the park on her 6-year-old son, claiming that, “He put it down and messed with the plants and I put them back, but I didn’t know he put it down and I didn’t know he left it over here.” Temple does not have a concealed weapons permit in Georgia or Florida and was immediately arrested in front of Disney’s Magic Kingdom entrance. She’s now banned from returning to all Walt Disney World properties because according to Disney spokeswoman Andrea Finger, “Weapons are not allowed at our resort.” According to the New York Post, Temple has not responded for comments and court records have yet to indicate an attorney for her. 

At this point, almost everyone and their mom are breaking social distancing rules to have small get-togethers. I get it, it’s hard to stay away from loved ones during lockdown, but having an actual COVID-themed party, what the hell? Why is this a thing? Apparently, Amazon’s best-selling piñata is a coronavirus piñata. That’s right, your 8-year-old daughter can have her very own COVID-19 piñata at her birthday party or Christmas party. I guess when other countries said the United States wasn’t doing much to strike down the COVID-19 pandemic, this is what we came up with. 

I just know Dr. Fauci would roll his eyes at this thing. Imagine bashing this piñata the day we finally get a vaccine. Well y’all, order your blindfolds (and face masks) because it looks like this piñata is going to be a hit at family gatherings this year. I wonder if people ordered these for Cinco de Mayo and Halloween parties. Okay, I have a pretty big imagination, and I like to think there are hundreds of scenarios why this coronavirus piñata became Amazon’s best-seller. My favorite theory is that people might have actually bought this piñata for loved ones who beat the virus. I mean, if I got COVID and someone asked me to break it, I probably would. Of course, we don’t need any more coronavirus cases, so don’t be one of those idiots who throws a huge party for the hell of it so you can use this piñata. I bet piñata makers are punching the air thinking, “Why didn’t I think of this first!?” You snooze, you lose. I wonder what’s next. Coronavirus-themed birthday cakes and ice cream? Coronavirus-themed amusement park rides? This year just keeps getting weirder. COVID-19 cases are still ongoing, so be careful if you gather with family anytime soon. Wear your masks to grocery stores and wash your hands.

Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this record...

Nah. Maybe not. So, they tell me I'd see some odd sights at Walmart. I didn't believe it until I saw this...

So, I don't know a lot about the "ThunderCats" cartoon, but I think they made a live action movie based off it.

I think I know where they got the idea for the show from...

Did you know there's a character from "ThunderCats" not people know about. Here it is...

Hahahahahahahahaha. That made me laugh. So, this year NFL teams are changing their logos for some reason. Here's another new one...

Hmmm. Whatever. I was thinking of getting a new tattoo but someone had the same idea I had...

They beat me to it. So, once in a while I like to go onto Twitter and look up a certain word to see what people are saying. I few months ago I looked up "Foghat" and this is what I saw...

Ha! I think I get it. Okay, so, while it's normal for parents to be proud of their adult children's careers, things can get messy when they cross the line from pride to competitive bragging with every other parent they encounter... It doesn't matter how many times you explain your job to your parents, sometimes they truly don't understand what exactly it is you do every day. If they want a good story to tell their friends about at happy hour, you might find yourself very confused at Thanksgiving when their neighbor starts asking you how you're enjoying your job as a celebrity skydiving instructor when in fact you're a graphic designer. Still, when you ask your parents to keep private details about your job in the family and they still violate your trust, action needs to be taken. If that means super-sleuthing through your own mother's social media messages, then so be it. So, when a concerned A-lister nanny decided to consult my moral compass about her mom's rampant and dangerous Instagram gossip, I thought I would offer some advice.

"Am I wrong 'hacking' my mom's Instagram to see if she violated NDA? I'm a nanny for a high profile family. I signed a very extensive and strict NDA. Anyone directly involved in my life, mom, dad, sis, and husband, also signed an NDA. The nanny family recommended this, to talk about the job without getting into any legal trouble or putting them at risk. Recently ran into one of my parents' neighbors, Amber, at the park. Amber asked how the new job was going, then proceeded to ask specifics about how it must be working for a family where the parents are (insert their jobs here). A direct violation of the NDA and something I could be fired and sued for. My dad isn't the sharing type, like at all, so I figured it was probably my mom. I asked her about it in a casual 'Hey how’s Amber,' way. I said I ran into Amber at the park and that it was odd because she knew details about my job without me telling her. My mom simply shrugged and said, 'That's funny. Maybe she Googled? Or saw something on social media?' My dad and sister absolutely hate Amber. They essentially said hell would have to freeze over before they spoke to her willingly. My dad ended our convo where I asked him about it by saying, 'The only thing I know about her is that her son just made partner at a law firm in New York and is making bank and that's only because mom saw it on Instagram and told me about it.' Right then, I knew my mom lied to me and it was her. She and Amber love to 'one up' each other with their children's success, and I also just landed a great new job. I asked my mom about it AGAIN and she told me that I was being dramatic, making stuff up, and that she would never do that to me. My mom doesn't text people, only DM's on Instagram. I know her password so logged in to check her messages. There was an extremely long DM to Amber where she shared their professions, children's names, ages, private school, general locations of their homes, how they pay 'really well,' etc. Everything that we are legally NOT allowed to say, she said. I called her immediately and said that I logged into her DM's and saw the message she sent Amber that was a violation. She started screaming at me about how she is supposed to be able to trust her daughter, she can't believe I hacked into her instagram, that mothers should be allowed to brag about their children, and then she hung up. It has been a week without contact between the two of us. We used to speak every single day. I am starting to believe that maybe I'm the asshole here for violating her trust like that. My husband says if anyone violated trust here it is her and that I gave her ample opportunity to tell the truth before I intervened and sought out the truth myself. He constantly reminds me that they could sue us into the ground, and fire me, for endangering my nanny family's well being. Because truthfully, Amber could easily be a psycho fan or sell the information to someone who is. So, am I wrong?" Your mom crossed the line and could end up costing you your job. I would be livid. Your husband is right... you gave her a chance to come clean she didn't. She could've easily endangered your job and the family you nanny for, I mean the NDA is there for a reason... I don't think your mom gets how bad this. Your mom doesn't get that her violating this NDA is not just breaking your the trust with this family. It will ruin all potential job opportunities. It really will. The chance of you being able to find another job after word gets out you violated an NDA... it won't be easy. Not at all. SHE betrayed YOUR trust. What she did was horrible. Yes, you “violated” her trust by snooping in her Instagram, but you did it after she blatantly lied to you, which you figured out. This could have huge consequences for your professional life and you snooped in order to confirm who spilled the beans. I sincerely hope you’re able to make up with your mom though. She clearly doesn’t understand how serious the NDA is if she’s getting caught up in one-upping a random neighbor. Once things calm down, I hope you’re both able to apologize (not that you weren’t justified in what you did, but for the sake of your long term relationship, assuming she also apologizes) so she can learn a valuable lesson about how NDAs are not to be fucked with. You only snooped because you saw a red flag and put together all the signs. Don’t feel bad, she literally is insulting your intelligence thinking you wouldn’t find out. And to break a legal, binding contract is egregious. So, there you have it! You are not wrong at all for violating her mom's privacy to confirm that she had broken the NDA. Her mom threatened her job and the safety of her employers' family just to impress her neighbor, so now she has to deal with the consequences. Good luck, everyone! If you have a problem you need someone to help with then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail,.com. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Reactions To The Trump Rally That Left Thousands Of Supporters Stranded In The Cold For Hours

5. Getting real Fyre Festival vibes from this presidential campaign rally. 

4. Everyone is making a big deal about the Trumo campaign leaving their supporters in below-freezing temperatures in Omaha, but the cold wouldn't be a problem if there weren't so many thermometers. 

3. The Trump campaign had a plan to get everyone out of the Omaha rally, but like Trump's health care plan, they are saving it until after the election.

2. Metaphor alert: "For hours, attendees... including many elderly Trump supporters... stood in the cold, as police scrambled to help those most at risk get to warmth. At least seven people were taken to hospitals."

And the number one reaction to the Trump rally that left thousands of supporters stranded in the cold for hours was...

1. The campaign busses people (pronounced “props”) to the rally and then strands them... leaving Omaha police with a shitshow. If this isn’t the Trump presidency in a nutshell, idk what is.

Hard to believe we're 8 months into a pandemic that has killed over a million people and some people are still like "I won't wear a mask, because FREEDOM." And yet, we must believe it. Because COVIDiocy is an epidemic as widespread as the virus itself. "COVIDiots" are tough to reason with. Especially because their mere maskless existence could literally kill you if you try to talk to them IRL. So if you encounter one in the wild, the best and safest thing you can do is post about it. Internet-shaming may be our best tool against this particularly dangerous strain of human stupidity.

Ukrainian deputy wearing a "homemade" face mask. Covidiot. Okay, let's what is going on live in Port Jefferson, shall we?

Looks cold and windy. It's 43°F there. Brrrrr. 

The 139th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Lenny will be on the Phile next week. Now for some...

Phact 1. A Trillion-Meal Study, the largest ever of its kind, has shown genetically modified crops to be 100% safe and just as nutritious as non-modified crops. 

Phact 2. Jimmy Carter has observed over 100 elections in 38 countries bringing a reputation for impartiality, reassuring voters that they can safely and secretly cast their ballots. 

Phact 3. Mexican shamans began to use Coca-Cola in their religious rituals to heal worshippers. When PepsiCo. discovered this, they offered commissions to shamans for using Pepsi instead. When Coca-Cola began paying too, rival religious groups were formed based on which soft drink they use. 

Phact 4. The Japanese justice system has a 99.8% conviction rate, mostly reliant on confessions that are often procured using methods such as detention for days with severe interrogation. 

Phact 5. There are Eagles in Scandinavia that create nests so massive; they have been known to cause trees to collapse under their weight.

Today's pheatured guest is is an American voice actor and radio personality. He is also known for his voice work as Lion-O on the 1980s Rankin/Bass cartoon "ThunderCats." Please welcome to the Phile... Larry Kenney.

Me: Hey there, Larry, welcome to the Phile, sir. How are you? 

Larry: My pleasure, Jason. I'm good. 

Me: So, you were Lion-O in "ThunderCats," a show I heard of but never saw. Are you the most known for playing that character? 

Larry: Yeah, "ThunderCats" is one of the few things people recognize my voice on of all the things I do. I do a lot of commercials and a lot of those are character voices like Count Chocula and Cocoa Puffs and that kind of stuff. The Lion-O voice is just my voice, but a little more dramatic in the show. That's how people recognize my voice. 

Me: What would people say to you if they recognized your voice? 

Larry: Well, most of the time people would say something like, "You sound like you're on the radio" or "you sound like an announcer" if I was at the checkout counter or something. Sometimes people will say, "You sound like you should do commercials." I'd say something, "Yeah, but there's no money in it." Most of the time I'll say that's what I do, but I always have to make a joke about it. They'll say, "You have a great voice." And I'll say, "Thank God because I have no other skills. I don't know I'll do if I didn't." Honestly I don't know what I would do, I have been in radio since I was 15-years-old. 

Me: How did you get started, Larry? 

Larry: Well, I was in high school actually, it was a couple of weeks before my 16th birthday back in Pekin, Illinois which is right in the middle of Illinois and we had a radio class. I didn't know at the time, I do now, on how unique that was. We're talking about 1963 and we actually had radio class and we broadcasted a ten minute radio show during lunch hour every day over a couple of lines to the local radio station. I took the radio class and started doing the radio show every day and then one day a guy from the big radio station across the river at Peoria, Illinois came to our class and said they were looking for somebody from our school to do this one hour show. Actually the show had been on for some time for a years. It was a one hour show on Saturday's and they played records like the Beatles and "My Boyfriends Back" and stuff and in the commercials they would talk about what was going on in the high schools. It was called a public show. So I said I'll come up and audition and I did and they put me on the same day I auditioned. That's how I started out. 

Me: That's cool. Where did you go from there? 

Larry: I did that for six or eight months I guess then after awhile they asked me if I'd like to do a disc jockey show on Sunday nights and I said sure. It turned out to be me playing records for an hour and then doing public service announcements, with "your Congressman speaks" and stuff like that. I did that for year or so then I did in the summer when the regular disc jockeys went on vacation I filled in for them. I did that for a couple of years and then finally they offered me a full time job doing news from noon to three or something like that. Then later on moved on to Fort Wayne, Indiana, Cleveland, Chicago, and finally to New York to a bigger station. 

Me: Okay, so when did you get into television? 

Larry: I didn't do television until I got to New York. I went to New York in '74 and I never did television accept for auctions and think like that. My agent sent me to an audition for a game show called "Bowling for Dollars" and I auditioned for that, won that audition and then did "Bowling for Dollars" for three years. When that ended I did a couple of soap operas and when that ended I decided I didn't want to do anymore on camera work, I didn't like being on camera. I like going into the studio and spending twenty minutes or an hour whatever it is on a commercial and then going somewhere else or hanging out for a while. But on camera I have to get there at 7 in the morning to do a read through and then wait until they do the ladies hair and do a walk through and have lunch... I was there from 7 in the morning to 7 at night. I said no more on camera, I'm too lazy for that. 

Me: How did you get into voice-overs? 

Larry: In the beginning back at that station in Peoria, Illinois it was a 500 watt station and each disc jockey before the show, for example I was working from noon to three on the air, I would come in before my shift or after my shift I would go to the production studio across the hall where I would find in my cubby a stack of plastic cassettes and all the scripts for the commercials they wanted me to record that day to play around the clock on that station. It was a part of the job, someday I might have two commercials to record, some days I might have six or seven. Then when I got to Cleveland, the first major city I worked in it was union town so not only did I have somebody running the control board for me I didn't have to play my own records or play my own commercials. Also in Cleveland as it was a bigger town and union town when I recorded commercials I got paid extra for it. I wasn't recording them for the station per say, I was recording them for ad agencies to play for all the other stations in town and in come cases around the country. That's when I realized I could make more money in this business doing commercials than I could for sitting for four hours playing records and stuff like that. 

Me: So, when did you start doing Count Chocula and Cocoa Puffs? 

Larry: That was in '78 or '79 after I moved to New York City. I still do Count Chocula and Cocoa Puffs. They don't do commercials for Count Chocula anymore but we still do one or two commercials a year for Cocoa Puffs. 

Me: When did they stop doing Count Chocula? 

Larry: Oh, it's been several years now. Occasionally they call me to do something in the studio to read a couple of lines as the Count for their website. It's an interactive thing for kids where they can go on and play games and the Count would say, "Good job. You won. Let's play level three." That's the only time you will hear his voice again. You can still buy the cereal in some stores but I think it's on it's way out. 

Me: That's a shame. Okay, so, what was it like playing Lion-O when you first got that gig? 

Larry: There were times when I first began to do the series I hadn't developed my character thoroughly yet sometimes I had to ask them play back what I did yesterday so I knew exactly how I spoke. But after a few weeks I knew it. We did 160 episodes so at some point I realized I knew exactly what to do here. 

Me: Did you ever think of retiring, Larry? 

Larry: I am 73-years-old and no, stop talking...? I'm going to be talking anyway I may as well continue to get paid for it. I may pull back at some point and I'm sure there might be a time where I don't want to go into New York City or they can stop asking me to. That could happen. I have fun, I always enjoyed it. 

Me: Okay, so, you were in another show called "Silverhawks" which I really know nothing about. Who did you play in that show? 

Larry: Colonel Bluegrass. The funny thing is for years and years I've been telling people I've played Lieutenant Bluegrass on "Silverhawks" and that's how I remember it. At one of the ComicCons somebody came up to me and said, "Would you sign this Colonel Bluegrass?" I said, "Don't you mean lieutenant?" And they said, "No, he was a Colonel." So I looked it up and he was Colonel Bluegrass. So I began to call myself Lieutenant Bluegrass all these years I started to believe it. 

Me: Hahaha. Were you the leader of the show then like you were in "ThunderCats." 

Larry: No, I was the co-star. 

Me: What was that like "stepping down" from being the leader then? 

Larry: I didn't mind at all. Let's face it, I was an actor, I was never a "leader." It wasn't a "step down," it paid just as much. Money was exactly the same so I didn't mind. It was great, playing Lion-O was fun, but it was nice playing a different kind of character. Bluegrass was a fun guy that played the guitar. 

Me: Which character was your favorite, Larry? 

Larry: Lion-O is stilly favorite. Let's face it, if I told a hundred people in a room that I played Colonel Bluegrass three of them would say they know who that was. If I told a hundred people in a room I played Lion-O probably half of them would know who that was. That's when they say, "Get out of town! You did not!" Yeah, I did. 

Me: So, what else do you do that I might know of? 

Larry: I still do commercials. I still do Cocoa Puffs and for the last 17 years or so I've been the voice on Skittles commercials. I'm the guy at the end who says, "Feel the rainbow, taste the rainbow." 

Me: That's cool. Larry, thanks for being on the Phile. Please cone back again soon. 

Larry: I hope so, Jason. Thank you.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Larry Kenney for a cool interview. The Phile will be back on Thursday with Jon Bon Jovi. Yup! One of my favorites. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain. Vote!

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon