Fergal Lawler And Noel Hogan From The Cranberries

 

There's nothing worse than having a Cranberries song stuck in your heeeeeeeead, in your heeeeeeead, in your heeeeeeeead, in your head, in your head, in your hea, hea, hea, head... hahaha. Hello, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Wednesday, It's Thanksgiving Eve. May your turkey be moist and may no one use that word to describe it. May your Thanksgiving feast perform well on TikTok. Pedophiles that hold community programs tend to have creepy names for the programs too, and it becomes hard to trust really anyone anymore that says they want to make a difference in the community. In Newport, Pennsylvania, Judge Michael E. Schechterly, who ran a program at his church called Royal Rangers, is now being charged with corruption of minors and indecent assault. Perry County District Judge Michael Schechterly is accused of sexually assaulting a 12-year-old boy and is now being charged with unlawful contact with children following a Pennsylvania state police investigation that revealed the assault in his home. According to Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro, the boy was assaulted back in 2012, a year after Schechterly was elected. The 58-year-old had been caught after an investigation was conducted after residents became concerned about his program Royal Rangers, where he called himself “Commander Mike.” Shapiro said, “Serious allegations show this judge violated the trust that the citizens of Perry County placed in him by sexually abusing a little boy.” According to authorities, witnesses said that Schechterly regularly took children into his district court and his home. And while investigators interviewed him, he discussed his “porn addiction” and his masturbation habit in his district court office, evident by the stains on the surfaces. The affidavit said, “When [questioned] regarding stains on surfaces in the district court, he indicated those stains would likely be his semen. In the course of this conversation, Schechterly admitted that as an adolescent he was sexually attracted to boys.” And to make matters worse, at first, Schechterly claimed that the young boy was the one who took his hand and put it on the child’s crotch. But then, he changed his story saying the 12-year-old boy took his own hand and put it on Schechterly’s own genitals. Sex crimes are always horrible, especially when they come from within someone who has gained the community’s trust. Sexual abuse should never be taken lightly, and Shapiro asks that if anyone else has any more information about Schechterly, to call Pennsylvania State Police at (717)-881-6937. Shapiro says, “We will hold the powerful and well-connected accountable to law just like everyone else. My office will investigate and prosecute anyone who abuses their authority to harm Pennsylvanians, no matter what position of power they may hold.”  

A couple’s gender reveal party ended in the fail every gender reveal party deserves after the confetti-filled black balloon the mom was holding floated away into the sky, never revealing the baby’s gender. Why can we all enjoy it? Mostly because at least they didn’t start a wildfire or something. This is a harmless and hilarious fail. Perfectly made for social media. The whole fail is pretty straightforward too. The couple was going to let their baby girl pop the gender reveal balloon with a dart. The little girl tried and failed so the mom took the dart away. Then, the little girl threw a fit about not getting to pop the balloon so the mom gave the dart back to her. Then things went wrong and a viral video was born. The little girl, still upset about being snubbed or the dart not working the first time, took the dart and threw it as hard as she could toward the gender reveal onlookers and other family members. The mother, who was holding the balloon, immediately turned to her daughter to yell at her for throwing a dart at other people. But, in her anger, she let go of the balloon, which had the gender of the baby inside. Then the balloon floated upward, never to be seen again. A gender reveal ruined. Now they’ll never be able to elaborately reveal if they’re having a little girl or little boy. Sad! Now they’re resigned to posting whether they had a baby girl or baby boy on Facebook. Like peasants. The moment is ruined. The child will forever be tainted. A disappointment before it was even born. Tragic.

Ever ate at an In-N-Out Burger? I don't want to eat at a place that's telling me what is going to happen to my food. I know it'll go in my mouth and come out my ass. But I heard it’s delicious. So when a new location opened in Arvada, Colorado this week, the demand became so hectic that police officers were called to the scene to manage this, let’s say, tasteful situation. According to a report by local Fox News affiliate KDVR, several customers were waiting in line for 14 HOURS for some double-doubles. A 14-hour wait in a drive-thru? Yeah, I can understand why tensions were extremely high. But I mean, who is trying is trying to get stuck in a 14-hour line for a burger? Just wait a week and go to Popeyes to get a chicken sandwich, the long line will die down. Nobody has time for a grand opening in the middle of COVID. So, before the end of the day, police officers had a break up a fistfight. Because, duh, people are impatient. According to the Aurora Police Department, they did their best to warn customers that they would be a wait time of at least 12 hours at the In-N-Out Burger if they stopped by. In the afternoon, the official APD Twitter account began advising people not to go to the fast-food chain since it would be closed by the time they made it to the window. The burger chain is usually open from 10 a.m. to 1 a.m. local time at all locations, with an extra half hour on the weekends. Other In-N-Out Burger locations are located in Los Angeles California, Southern California, Texas, Arizona, Nevada, and Utah, but this is the first restaurant to open in the Denver, Colorado location. The eatery is located near East Alameda Avenue. But shortly after it opened, police needed to direct huge traffic at the scene. They advised customers that this kind of traffic jam was not for the faint of heart, asking them to consider supporting a local restaurant instead and trying an In-N-Out Burger later. So as expected, a fistfight broke out because people never listen. The now-viral video on social media shows two men fighting between cars, as one comes dangerously close to hitting his head on the concrete floor. As two other men approached, the 5th person then came in and grabbed one of the men, ending the confrontation. It’s still not clear if any legal action was taken over this ridiculous fight. What I love most about this brawl is that one, it’s extremely ridiculous, men will be men, and two, one man was stranded without pants and had to work with it in front of all these people watching him. I’m sure he was embarrassed, but hey he’ll forget about it once he gets his tasty burger. Sorry dude, I lost it a little watching you, but I hope you’re okay. Also… did we forget about the coronavirus pandemic? Just look at that drive-thru line of cars! 

Where are your facemasks? Can you imagine when an In-N-Out Burger opens up in New York City? Oh gosh.

Hallmark is finally stepping out of the box by continuing to tell diversified storylines for this year’s Countdown to Christmas. This year, one of the network’s holiday movies celebrated love by featuring a same-sex couple. The Christmas House premiered on November 22nd, starring Jonathan Bennett, known for his popular role in Mean Girls and "Cake Wars." The Christmas movie follows Brandon (Bennet) and his husband Jake, played by Brad Harder, who visit Brandon’s parents for the cheery holidays during which the couple is “anxiously awaiting a call about the adoption of their first child.” TV star Robert Buckley, who is known for starring in "One Tree Hill," stars as Brandon’s brother Mike who also makes it back home for the holidays and quickly reconnects with his high school sweetheart, Andi, played by Ana Ayora. Yup, this movie definitely screams Hallmark already. So, to take it a bit further, their parents Bill (Treat Williams) and Phylis (Sharon Lawrence) hope that the Mitchell family gets together to “recreate the Christmas house will help them find resolution and make a memorable holiday for the entire family and community.” According to Michelle Vicary, executive vice president, the network’s roots are in movies that are positive and have meaningful connections. She noted, “Our movies are rooted in warmth and positivity, meaningful connections, family gatherings, and seasonal traditions... a winning formula we hope will bring our millions of viewers much-needed levity and holiday cheer at the end of a tough year.” The news from Hallmark’s announcement of The Christmas House comes after Lifetime’s announcement back in August, where the network shared that for the first time its lineup this holiday season would include films that are centered on LGBTQ romance and a Chinese-American family. The announcement also comes after the Hallmark Channel vowed in July to increase their LGBTQ representation following several criticisms and boycotts that the channel’s upcoming Hallmark movie lineup heavily lacked diversity. Through a statement, Hallmark Channel responded, noting, “Diversity and inclusion is a top priority for us and we look forward to making some exciting programming announcements in the coming months, including announcements about projects featuring LGBTQ storylines, characters, and actors. We are committed to creating a Hallmark experience where everyone feels welcome.” 

An unexpected production mishap occurred during "The Mandalorian's Chapter 12." It continues to make a buzz among the fans of the Star Wars franchise for a couple of days now. If you failed to catch the fun episode title "The Siege," the said blunder features a brief shot of a man in civilian clothes while Mando, Greef Karga, Cara Dune, and Mythrol were in the middle of a tension-filled battle with Stormtroopers. Eagle-eyed fans quickly noticed the guy's appearance in the frame and the unidentified fellow (who's presumably a member of the show's production crew) has become an overnight sensation, so much so that fans now refer to him as "Jeans Guy." Whether Jeans Guy's appearance was unintentional or not, we'll never truly know but surprisingly enough, the error didn't cause a tremendous amount of backlash considering "The Mandalorian" is supposed to be a show of high caliber. I guess it only goes to show that fans like to have a little fun every now and then. Let's be real here, not even a production mishap like that would take away the fact that the show consistently delivers. So, Jeans Guy, whoever you are, you're cool. 

I can't believe Disney is already cashing in on "Jeans Guy." Check this out...

Hahaha. So, some NFL teams changed their logos this season. Like this one...

Okay. Whatever. If I had a TARDIS I would go back in time to Times Square in New York City in the 1940s...

That's pretty cool, right? Okay, here's a story from this crazy ass state I live in.

A Florida man came close to breaking state records after he bagged a 1,000-pound alligator that he claimed had been stalking him for years. According to CNN, Corey Capps of Blountstown, Florida has an alligator hunting story for the ages after he took down a thousand-pound monster that he claims had been the one hunting him for all these years. While taking a boat ride down the Apalachicola River with his wife the pair spotted the beast on one of the riverbanks. Later, Capps contacted his buddy with state-issued gator tags, Rodney Smith, as one presumably does in Florida. The next day the pair went back out and killed the massive alligator with a harpoon, while it was hanging out in the exact same spot it was a day earlier. Though this beast didn’t break the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s record for the largest gator ever captured it was still ridiculously huge, as the pics show. 

So big, in fact, that Capps and Smith need three hours to drag the thing a mere 100 feet from where they killed it to their boat. What they really needed was a backhoe. Anyway, congratulations to Capps, Smith, and Capps’ wife both for their impressive kill and also for not being swallowed whole by this thing. This gator could’ve eat all three of them like they were a plate of mozzarella sticks at Hooters. Each person a singular mozz stick. An appetizer for whatever the hell this thing would eat for an actual full meal. Ten deer? A station wagon with a family inside of it like in that movie Tremors? Either way, this dinosaur could do some serious damage. Now go kill all the pythons.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, my favorite place on the planet. At least in the top 5 places. 

Looks cold there. It probably is in the 50s. Yup... 53°F to be exact. Okay, wanna laugh?

Three old maids die and arrive in heaven at the same time. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, then one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, dark hair, and muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word and walks away. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Cranberry sauce

Cranberry sauce is the worst thing to happen to Thanksgiving since your dad found out about TikTok.

The 140th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Jane will be the guest on the Phile on Monday. 

Today's guests are two members of the Irish rock band the Cranberries. Their last album "In the End" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Fergal Lawler and Noel Hogan.

Me: Hey, guys, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Fergal: We are here. 

Noel: Still feeling the loss of Dolores's voice. Apart from that I'm okay. 

Me: The three remaining members of the Cranberries released "In the End." Dolores sings on that album, guys, how did you out that together? 

Noel: It was made with incomplete demo tapes, we dug up voice memos Dolores sent via email as well as bits and pieces of music that had not yet seen the light of day. 

Me: What made you wanna put this album out? 

Noel: We think it's something Dolores would want us to do. 

Me: Why is that? 

Noel: Because I was talking to her literally until the day before she passed away and it was all excitement about this album and getting to record it. It felt like we were doing it some kind of injustice by not finishing it. So we listened to it together and then we had to speak to the families to see how they felt about it. If they didn't want us to do it we wouldn't have. But they were actually delighted that we were going to do it. 

Me: Why is that? 

Noel: Because Dolores had shared her enthusiasm with them as well. So that helped I think, we knew what we had and we knew the vocals were good enough to use and the songs were good enough. And once we had their blessings really the last piece of the puzzle was to ring Stephen Street who has been our long time producer and he was onboard when he heard the songs as well. And looking back now I guess I think it was a form of therapy for us as well. 

Me: You think so? That's cool, right?

Noel: Yeah. Yeah, I do. Because I cannot imagine what we would have done individually if it wasn't for this album to get us through that year. 

Me: What did it do for you? 

Noel: It gave us a focus and a kind of mission that we had to do this for Dolores, to finish it. For the band to do her memory justice things like that. Especially when we finish it, we go home and listen to it. I don't mean this is an arrogant way but I think this is an incredible piece of work we have here. And to think that could've been sitting on a hard drive or shelf forever for know one to hear, then I think we definitely did the right thing. 

Me: Fergal, do you think that was a lot of pressure to release an album that Dolores wouldn't hear? 

Fergal: Yeah, but I also think she kind of encouraged us to do our best and we would be letting her down if we didn't give it everything. 

Me: What was the first day of recording this album like? 

Fergal: The first day of recording was really overwhelming emotionally. We were kind of moping around a bit and it was hard to get into it, to focus. But once we realised this wasn't going to do anyone favours for moping around like this we are not going to give 100% of what we need to do here, to finish the work that Dolores started. Once we got that focus and our mind set and worked on individual parts we got the bigger picture that this needs to be really good and strong quality Cranberries album. Rotting in a cupboard with bits of demos was the last thing anyone wanted. 

Me: I heard the album and love the songs, especially the song "All Over Now." When you hear that song what's the first thing that comes to mind? 

Noel: That it sounds really great and I'm surprised. 

Me: When my dad passed away I went through his demos and thought it was so weird. Was it weird for you guys hearing her voice on the demos? 

Noel: Yep. When we checking all the pieces and patching it here and there then we hit solo on the desk and it's like oh my God. There's a song on there called "Lost" and it's the second song on the album I think and it's one that she sounds really, really delicate on it. It wasn't an unfinished vocal but it has this sort of charm and vulnerability with it. It was for me the hardest going through the demos before we ever went to the studio. I had to walk away from it and come back to it a couple of times to get from beginning to end. Then funny enough when we all got together to record it in the same room we all felt the same way. It's a beautiful song, and it came out amazing and probably one of our favourites on there. There are moments on the album where we listen to her and wonder what was going on at that moment. 

Me: How rough were these demos? What were you using here? 

Noel: A lot of it was done kind of Backing Track and Logic, then sent to Dolores who was in her apartment in New York in a one room bedroom or something like that and she did these vocals. Then she'd send the songs back then. There were other songs she worked on when she was living in Toronto, she was living between there and New York and those ones were a bit more developed because she had more time with them. So it was kind of a mix of both types of songs. 

Me: Fergal, was there ever a time when you were making this record that it seemed a little bit too much? 

Fergal: No, because even before Dolores passed away she was in quite a good place. I mean there's not a lot of doom and gloom on this album, there's quite a few happy songs because she had been through a divorce and was very open about it. She struggled with her mental health and was getting on top of that and getting therapy and was on medication to keep her balance more. She was in a good place and was feeling quite content. She was looking forward to a new chapter of her life. So we knew she was feeling in a good place when she worked on this album but she needed to get the bad memories out of her head and put them on paper. I think once we got the first week done and realised this sounds really good and it sounded like a proper Cranberries album we knew we were doing good and kept on going from there. 

Me: So, is this the final Cranberries album? 

Noel: Yeah. It's not like a big discussion was had, we just knew we were going to do this and that was it then. 

Me: So, when you first met Dolores what do you remember about meeting her for the first time? 

Noel: We had another singer before we met Dolores for a brief spell and he was a good friend offers as well and he left and we were basically an instrumental band for a while. We were writing songs that would be for the first Cranberries album. "Linger" was floating around for a while and we met this guy named Niall who said, "My girlfriend knows a girl who is looking for a band and just wants to do originals." we said, "That's us. Let her come on up." We met her on a Sunday afternoon around 1990. 

Me: What did you think of her when you saw her? 

Noel: She came in with this shiny tracksuit on and she was tiny and very shy and not at all the Dolores the world got to know. We were like does she want to be in a band kind of thing? And then she opened her mouth and started to sing and it was like oh, God, it's kind of unbelievable. Then we wondered if she was already in a band and doing something. That was the day we met. We didn't now how it would change all our lives that day, there four of us meeting together, It just grew and grew from that moment on. 

Me: I loved her voice and thought she was very cute. I was really into the band and saw you guys open for Duran Duran. Fergal, how would you describe Dolores' voice? 

Fergal: It's a mixture of things. She played piano for a long time and she was in a choir and I remember she said her piano teacher tried to give her some vocal lessons and said, "You can't do this and you can't do that" and she rebelled against that straight away and said, "I'm never going to go bear another vocal coach or anyone like that because I really like my voice." That's what made her unique. She had massive range and her influences were from opera to country music to she used to go sing with the monks at Glenstal Abbey and do Gregorian chanting and stuff. And if we went to a pub after a gig she would start singing an old Irish sound that no one knew. She was amazing. 

Me: What did you think about her songwriting? What do you think she wrote about? 

Fergal: Anything that touched her she'd write about. Whatever she felt, she wouldn't think of the consequences and thought what if people were upset by this or that. 

Me: She wrote about zombies before zombies were cool... hahahahaha. 

Fergal: That moved her, when those children were killed that made her really angry. 

Me: Seriously, when you first heard that song what did you think? 

Fergal: I remember to this day when she came in we were in this little small garage rehearsing and she said, "I'm really angry about this, I want to do something really loud and angry. Do you have any distortion pedals?" Hit the drums louder kind of thing. 

Me: I don't think that was normal for women in the industry at that time to write a political song, am I right? 

Noel: For is that was a complete different sound because we had "Linger" and "Dreams," which were massive and at that time before "Zombie" came out we had it for a while bit nobody heard that side of us really. Then for a female singer in the 90s to be that outspoken about things it was kind of unheard of really. When people got to know what she was like they didn't know what would come out of her really. When she felt about something she said it and didn't care. 

Me: You guys got really, really big. How did Dolores deal with that kinda fame? 

Noel: It was harder for her than us. 

Me: Why is that? 

Noel: I mean there was the initial when we became big for a little while people recognised us, then people started getting used to seeing us around. Dolores being the only girl in the band and also the front person there was more of a demand to get more from her all the time. She actually found it difficult living in Ireland for a while because sh built a house in a place called Dingle and it became part of a tourist kind of thing. Big busses would pull up outside and people would take photos. Her ex-husband was from Toronto so she moved to Toronto. She liked to get away from it when she wasn't working, if you want to call it that. We got to go home and live our lives as normal, we had the best of both worlds. We could just blend in and come back and do this. With her there was no escape and one side of it. Particularly when we were that big she was always on and after the third album we took a few years away from it. We could look back at that time and could see how tinged she had become, she wasn't well just from the stress of it all. We took a couple of years away then she settled back down again and realised this is what she loved doing and she was going to do that. 

Me: Fergal, when did you notice Dolores was struggling with being bipolar? 

Fergal: It was around the same time it was made public. She started talking about it and realised that was it. It kind of explained a lot of the erratic behavior I suppose around that time. We were just supportive really. We tried to help her as much as possible and encourage her to get help. She was like a little sister. There was a side of her that people didn't know, which was a really funny, laugh, jokey. 

Me: Tell me something about her. 

Fergal: Ummm... I suppose award ceremonies we were talking about recently we would try to be so serious and try to be so cool and all that and she'd be taken the piss. It's funny, once she passed away all those memories of early times just came back when it was just the four of us in a van together with a couple of friends. That's when we really got to know her properly, when she wasn't so shy anymore she became a friend at that point. She was in the van cracking jokes, because we would be in the van for about seven hours going to all these places, we had no choice to get to know each other. 

Me: How was she doing the last time you saw her? 

Fergal: Great. She was actually doing really good. She emailed the night before she passed away. We were talking about going to China to do a few gigs and was looking forward to this album and looking forward to the future. She just bought a house outside Limerick and she was buying furniture for it. She was looking forward to the future in a positive way. 

Me: What about for you, Noel? 

Noel: I spoke to her the Friday before she passed away. Most of the day was on and off on the phone, discussing these songs and what the process was. That made it a bit harder because when I was talking to someone and look at dates for after China then when I got the news I thought it didn't make sense, someone talking about all this and suddenly they are not here anymore. I got the phone call and thought that's wrong, there's been a mix up here, That's generally what I thought for a while I guess it was stick or whatever. It makes it a bit harder when someone who is as true as she was then comes out the other side of it and is at a really good place. She was in really good spirits that Friday and she was out buying furniture for her new house on Saturday. We're not the only people to have lost someone close to them, anyone who has been through it knows what its like. It takes time, now over two years later there's still a lot of disbelief and I cannot believe its happened. 

Me: How is it promoting this record for so long? 

Noel: It's getting easier, we've been doing it for about a year now. We realised doing it what we have taken onboard. That we are not just recording this album and putting it out there, that we would have to do this. It's a lot of positive stuff we are talking about with her. How our lives were with her and these songs she would be very, very proud of. Again I would hate of doing the injustice of not doing this. The album come out and nobody be aware of it. 

Me: I love the song "Wake Me Up When It's Over." What can you say about it? 

Fergal: It's a bit of a rocking one. People say it reminds them of "Zombie" because of the big chorus. It's a nice rock song. 

Me: That's great. Thanks for coming on the Phile, Take care and please come back again soon. All the best. 

Noel: Thank you. 

Fergal: Thanks.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Fergal and Noel. The Phile will be back on Monday with Jane Fonda! Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain. Have a great Thanksgiving. 

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon