Pheaturing Jane Fonda

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? It's Cyber Monday... not to be confused with Cyber Sex Monday. Okay, let's talk about "The Mandalorian" first thing... The latest episode was once again home to several OMG moments and overall, it was a fun episode that didn't disappoint. Now, we all know that the Child is the absolute star of the Star Wars spinoff show and even before the first season debuted, a lot of you have already been referring to him as Baby Yoda because of his striking resemblance to the legendary Jedi Master. Of course, we all know that he's a completely different creature and that has long been established. Chapter 13: "The Jedi" has finally revealed the Child's real name and you may have to stop referring to him as Baby Yoda moving forward after learning about this, as hard as that may seem. In the episode, Ahsoka calls the creature by his true name "Grogu" and boy, that alone was a jaw-dropping moment and I don't exactly know how to feel about it. Naturally, "The Mandalorian" fans were stunned by this new discovery and a lot of them aren't ready to let go of the Child's already iconic moniker. In fact, most fans refuse to refer to him as "Grogu." However, despite the fact that some fans refuse to accept his official name, there are still people who are willing to embrace Baby Yoda's true identity. Calling the Child "Grogu" will take a lot of getting used to, that's for sure but hey, we can't associate him with a different character forever. I gotta say though, Baby Yoda will always have a nice ring to it. Don't be surprised though it people continue referring to him as Baby Yoda 'cause, you know, I don't think that one will ever go away. 

Oh boy, this is why we can’t have nice things during the holiday season. It looks like social media is at it again, and have found an issue with a favorite cartoon, "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving." Several controversies have surfaced about our favorite holiday special. The special was recently purchased by Apple +, to which they decided to make them unavailable on cable. But, creators quickly realized that they had severely messed up, and decided to then make a deal so it could air on PBS. But, as people were watching the special again, some seemed to forget about this so-called "cannibal" scene. In one scene of the Thanksgiving special, Snoopy begins to cut the turkey and hands out some slices to the Peanuts (Charlie Brown, Sally, Franklin, Lucy, Linus, Peppermint Patty, and Marcie) around the table during their Thanksgiving meal. He then hands a plate to his friend Woodstock, who is an adorable little yellow bird. As Woodstock eats the turkey, it left people on social media wondering did a bird just eat another bird? Many viewers decided to go on Twitter to discuss whether or not this makes Woodstock a cannibal, because of course, if you have a problem you always take his social media. One user tweeted...

Honestly, I don’t see it like this. Let’s face it, this is just a cartoon. But, do you think that this is cannibalism? The creators probably didn’t even realize what was happening; they just wanted to give that traditional Thanksgiving feeling. But you know how people are, they, unfortunately, find something to hate. As long as they leave the adorable Linus and all of the other Peanuts gang alone, they can go back and forth all they want. As far as "A Charlie Brown Christmas," you can watch the Christmas special from December 11th to the 13th. If you are a lucky subscriber to Apple TV+, you can watch the special at any time.

A woman in Las Vegas, Nevada is urging people to check twice before entering any ride-sharing vehicles, after a man posing as an Uber driver allegedly abducted her. Elizabeth Suarez stated she saw a car that matched the description of the Uber she was waiting for, located on the Las Vegas Strip outside the Park MGM hotel-casino. She had received a text message saying her driver would be arriving soon. The driver waved her over, and without second-guessing, got inside the vehicle. Suarez didn’t think anything was wrong until she received a call from the real Uber driver who was looking for her outside the pickup location. Scared for her life, she immediately posted a side profile picture of the driver on her Snapchat hoping her friends would see she was in trouble, afraid he would hear her calling 911. Suarez asked the fake Uber driver to pull over, but the driver panicked when he saw she was taking a picture and began yelling at her to give him her wallet, phone, and other belongings. She threw her wallet at him, but kept her phone, hoping that would set her free. Instead of stopping, the Uber driver sped up, and Suarez did the only thing she could do. She unlocked the door and jumped out of the speeding vehicle, hoping it would save her life. The incident was captured by surveillance cameras outside Park MGM and Albertsons’ store, showing the woman jumping out and landing on the floor. She suffered a head injury, fractured wrists, and a badly broken ankle. After filing a police report, authorities stated they are currently looking for the driver, but have no lead as of yet. A crime and safety expert stated Suarez’s act of desperation was brave, but she should have called 911 while still in the car. The operator could have still listened to a one-sided conversation, and would likely able to figure out there was a crime in progress. He believes she could have also attempted to raise a red flag when the real Uber drive called, so he couldn’t potentially alert police. Suarez’ attorney Neal Hyman sent a written request for further investigation, noting multiple errors in the police narratives. The woman’s main concern was that the robbery is the only crime listed in the report. She believes kidnapping should also be mention after the Uber driver continued to drive, despite her giving him what he asked for. Uber urges all riders to follow their safety guidelines before getting into any vehicle. The company recommends making sure the license plate number matches the information on the app. Once inside the vehicle, one must also ask for the driver’s name and make sure the picture matches the person in the front seat. If the passenger is in the correct Uber, they can share their ride with friends and family in case of an emergency and track the ride. Suarez stated she decided to share her story to prevent the next predator under the guise of a rideshare driver. 

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex revealed that she was pregnant with her second child but suffered a miscarriage in July. In an opinion piece for The New York Times, the Duchess wrote that she felt a very sharp cramp while changing the diaper of her first child, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, whom she had with husband Prince Harry in 2019. According to Meghan Markle, “I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.” The member of the British royal family and former actress described the difficulty of losing her child after reflecting on the hardship of the past year. She continued, “I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.” Markle referenced an interview she made during a royal tour back in 2019, in which she held back several tears after a journalist had asked her if she was okay. She noted how when she was in the hospital bed, she watched her husband’s heartbreak trying to hold on to her hand and stay strong for her. She quickly realized that the only way to begin to heal first is to ask herself is “she was okay.” She noted, “Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.” According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, around 10 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, which is a figure that the Duchess referred to in her article. But, several women are reluctant to talk about the experiences with people for fear of discrimination. Experts stated that almost eighty percent of miscarriages happen in the first trimester which is why women are encouraged by medical experts to keep their pregnancy private until they are at least 12 weeks along. Megan noted, “Despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.” Earlier this year, Harry (Duke of Sussex) and Meghan both stepped back as members of the Royal Family, moving to North America after frequently challenging some intense coverage both on print and social media of their personal. In July, the couple decided to sue paparazzi over photographs of their son Archie, and Megan is suing the publisher of the U.K.’s Mail on Sunday newspaper after they shared a letter that the Duchess wrote to her father following her marriage to Harry.

A former barista from Hoboken, New Jersey, is filing a lawsuit against Starbucks after claiming her refusal to wear a rainbow Pride t-shirt led to her dismissal. Betsy Fresse worked at a Starbucks location in Glen Ridge. She claimed her manager reported her to Starbucks ethics and compliance helpline after she refused to wear a rainbow t-shirt as part of her uniform for Pride month last year. Fresse claims the establishment knew of her religious beliefs in advance. She asserts she was specifically targeted “because her religious beliefs prevented her” from wearing the shirt. She also alleges shortly thereafter, Starbucks contacted her to say “her comportment was not in compliance with Starbucks’ core values” and fired her. Fresse goes on to claim she “holds no enmity toward individuals who ascribe to the LGBTQ lifestyle.” In nearly the same sentence, she rejects the idea of gay marriage and sex between consenting homosexual adults. According to NBC News, Fresse harassed coworkers who opted to wear the rainbow t-shirt. She told fellow employees they “need Jesus” in concert with her own direct refusal to wear the rainbow shirt that was an optional part of all employees’ uniforms across the company. Starbucks said Fresse’s claim... which left out her repeated attempts to force her religion on coworkers... is inaccurate. “Starbucks does not discriminate on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation…” “No part of our dress code requires partners to wear any approved items [other than the green apron] that they have not personally selected.” Fresse’s lawsuit is “seeking compensation for emotional pain and suffering, punitive damages and back pay with interest.” Oh, lord. 

Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

I bet it's funny actually. I was thinking of getting a new tattoo but some one had the same idea I had...

And I don't know who would get the word "lutely"put on their arm. Some NFL teams are changing their logos this season, like the Bucs did.

I think CNN had it with Trump and his bullshit... take a look at this.

Hahahaha. So, when I get bored I like to go on Twitter and look up certain words. One of those words is "Foghat" and this is something I saw back in March...

Hmmm... opposed to fucking to what? Okay, so, honoring your parents is an integral part of cultures worldwide. But are there limits? What if your relationship with your parents is not the best? One adult child of difficult parents wondered if they were wrong to not honor one of their parents’ requests. So they turned to the Phile for feedback. 

"Am I wrong for not letting my parents use my bed while they visit my house? My mom, stepdad, and I have a… troubled relationship. They’re a Karen and a Ken. If you’ve seen the movie Red Eye, they’re that obnoxious hotel couple. Regardless, they are visiting this week. They came in from out of town which is always stressful for me and my husband. My husband and I have a queen bed. We have a twin bed in one bedroom, a full bed in our main guest room. We put my parents in the full. The full bed is not some rickety old thing... it’s maybe five years old? My parents came to me this morning and told me they had just the worst night of sleep. They said the full bed isn’t big enough for them, they got no sleep, they are so grouchy today, and could we please give them our bed for the week? I said no. For me, it’s not just our bed... my parents would absolutely be the type to snoop around our bedroom. My parents have been complaining off and on all day. They had an extra cup of coffee because they’re so tired. They need Advil because their back is so sore. Stuff like that. My husband has ignored them for the most part. My stepdad tried to be all buddy buddy and hint at the bed swap to my husband. Am I wrong? Should I give my parents my bed? They are larger people. Not sure if this makes a difference!” You are not wrong. This is YOUR house and YOUR bed. I’m sure they don’t offer you their bed when you visit. They shouldn’t expect you to, but they are obviously entitled. Tell them they have three choices… 1. Deal with the full size bed. 2. One of them sleeps in the full and the other in the twin. 3. They pay for a hotel room. Of course, number 4 would be that they never bring their entitlement to your doorstep again. Or offer to get a queen size inflatable mattress, that’ll end the conversation really quickly. While it may not bring about a resolution with their parents, at least she knows I think she's right. It’s okay to set limits with your parents, even if your parents don’t agree. 

Hahahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, New York, shall we?

Looks like it's rainy there today like it is here in Central Florida. Speaking of Florida...

A pair of Florida men were filmed mid-brawl at a Wawa in South Florida and the video is going viral on social media thanks to both the colorful commentary and the fact that a combatant’s pants fall off during the fight. The video, which was trending on TikTok, is everything you want from a trashy convenience store fight. It takes place in North Lauderdale, Florida. Two dudes who have no idea how to actually fight and are clearly drunk and out of shape. There’s profanity. They’re way too old to be fighting. Everyone else is watching and laughing at them. It’s just wonderful. The only thing that could have made this better is if it had happened in Philly. But, of course, the best part of this video, by far, is the nudity... the dude’s pants coming off and it deterring neither of them. At all. Any uppercut the other guy throws has a high possibility of catching this guy’s ween but no one cares. Because there are neither rules nor shame in a Wawa fight. These brawlers know this. Where are your face masks guys? I mean obviously they’re not social distancing and we really shouldn’t expect face covering from a guy who isn’t even concerned with covering his junk. Sometimes you just have to chicken box in the middle of a convenience store, COVID be damned. When a man disrespects you you’ve got to untie the rope holding your pants up and throw down. This is the way. The way of 2 a.m. Wawa fistfights. These ancient rules do not bend to our fleeting whims.

Hush puppies

Quiet doggies

The moral of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.

David Prowse 

July 1st, 1935 — November 28th, 2020 

Later, Vader.  

Diego Maradona 

October 30th, 1960 — November 25th, 2020 

DEAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked, "How often should you have it?" His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary. The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?" His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now." "What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked. "Well," grandpa said, "she goes to bed in her room, and I go to bed in my room. And she yells, 'Fuck you', and I holler back, 'Fuck you too.'"

Today's guest is an American actress, political activist, environmentalist, and former fashion model. Her book What Can I Do?: The Truth About Climate Change and How to Fix It is the 140th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Please welcome to the Phile... Jane Fonda!

Me: Wow! Hello, Jane, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Jane: Hello, Jason. Thanks for having me here. 

Me: So, I have to ask... what's the deal with this pic from last year? Hahaha. 

Jane: Well, I wasn't entirely surprised that, not long after I reached my 80s, I landed in jail. 

Me: You weren't surprised? 

Jane: Well, I never imagined I'd live this long. I guess if I'd imagined I'd live this long I imagined I'd go to jail. Women get much feistier and braver when they're older. 

Me: You have a new book out called What Can I Do?: The Truth About Climate Change and How to Fix It which is the 140th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. What is the book about? 

Jane: I write about being the kid of person who walked the walk, I cut back on red meat, I got an electric car. Then something changed and convinced me to rev up my own climate activism. 

Me: What was that? 

Jane: A year ago I was in Big Sur with friends. I read a book by Naomi Klein, all of her books have a big impact on me and my life. But her last book is called On Fire: A Burning Case For a Green New Deal. That's what I needed to get me off my duff and into action. I knew that I needed to do more. I started reading the science and realizing the window of opportunity, its closing that window, we have to work real fast. Greta Thunberg inspired me by putting her life on the line. And so that made me realize what I wanted to do was put my body on the line. I'm a celebrity, I'll raise a lot of attention that way. 

Me: I think you've been protesting something all my life, Jane. When did you first start do get into the activism stuff? 

Jane: In 1970, the Indigenous people in North America, who were protesting a lot of things, including their salmon rights that were being damaged by dams being put in, and their cultural heritage and land being taken away. So that was my first arrest, with Native Americans up in Tacoma, Washington. That's when I really realized that I had a special responsibility because I was a celebrity, when I realized what it meant to have my presence there among all those tribal nations that were protesting. 

Me: I'm sure being the daughter of Henry Fonda there was a lot of expectations of you, Jane. How did the protests fit in with all that? 

Jane: Believing in standing up for the underdog, that was part of my upbringing. I mean, look at the films my father made. Grapes of Wrath, Twelve Angry Men, The Wrong Man, The Oxbow Incident, those were the films that he loved and they were about fairness and justice. 

Me: You were so against the Vietnam War, and had the nickname "Hanoi Jane," so that was a major deal for you to protest about, right? 

Jane: The thing about the Vietnam War it was a generational struggle. So there was a lot of generational clashing. 

Me: What did your dad think of your activism? 

Jane: I remember my dad went over to Vietnam with the USO, the entertainer who go over and entertain the troops, he was invited to do that and when he came back the thing he kept taking about was there were no battle lines. They didn't know where the enemy was. He was just flummoxed by that fact. But he was just worried that I was going to get in trouble, like celebrities had in the 50s, when they spoke out. I'm a person of privilege, and when I realized what I wanted to do with my life was to out my body out there on the line for issues that I thought was important that I could help with. The more that they attacked me the more I dug in my heels and moved forward with resolve. 

Me: You didn't just make speeches, right? Not that there is anything wrong with just making speeches, and you didn't just donate money, you really did put your life on the line. Am I right? 

Jane: Yes, I went to Hanoi. 

Me: When you did that what were you hoping to accomplish by going there? 

Jane: The only reason I went there was to prove that the United States was trying to destroy the earth and dykes of North Vietnam. It's like Holland, its below sea level, the Red River Delta is. If the dykes were destroyed, according to the Pentagon papers hundreds of thousands of people would have died from drowning or starvation. We were bombing the dykes, and it stopped about a month or two after I came back. I'm proud of that, but that's why I went. 

Me: There's a famous photo of you sitting atop a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun during a visit to Hanoi. I will show it here... 

Me: That didn't go down to well, right? What were you thinking? 

Jane: The image happened after the soldiers sang me a song, led to the me being blacklisted from Hollywood, and deterred other celebrities from getting involved in anti-war efforts. 

Me: Yeah, but didn't you get bad press for it? 

Jane: Not only that when I first came back from Hanoi there was maybe one inch of news print in the New York Times about it. It was no big deal. It wasn't until a bit later that they decided to create this myth of "Hanoi Jane" that you mentioned, which would deter the future for anti-war activists from doing things as I did because "look what will happen to you." From which I say really, I'm still here, and where are you all? LOL. 

Me: You did apologize for it, right? 

Jane: Yeah! It was a terrible, thoughtless, irresponsible thing to do. I mean, it was not an active gun. There were no planes in the air. Nothing was happening. But I realized that the image belied everything that I am. I believe in non-violent civil disobedience. I don't believe in shooting evil and dropping bombs. So it was a terrible mistake and it was thoughtless. 

Me: Jane, in this current time there's a lot of conversations in activism about being perfect. You're allowed to make mistakes, right? You're allowed to apologize and still be an activist. Am I right? 

Jane: Yes. First of all, never let perfect get in the way of good. The fact that I went to Vietnam and brought back photographic evidence of the bombing and it attracted the attention to the bombing is more important than the bad which is I was photographed on the enemy air craft carrier. 

Me: If someone says to you why don't you stick to acting what do you say to these people? 

Jane: First of all I forget them, I don't pay any attention But here's the deal, do you know what a repeater is? 

Me: When someone says the same thing twice? 

Jane: No, these are the antennae on top of the mountains. Their purpose for being up there is to pick up weak signals down in the valley. They don't create the signals in the valley but they pick them up and repeat them, sending them out to a much wilder audience. That's what celebrities do. We're repeaters, we can lift the voices of people that don't get heard, who know the truth, who are on the front lines and allow the people to hear them. 

Me: Jane, Richard Nixon bad mouthed you when he was president. What did you think when you heard that for the first time? 

Jane: Well, I read it. I've been into the files when I wrote my memoirs, I got hold of all the tapes and the files so I knew he said it. 

Me: How were you arrested? 

Jane: I was arrested after entering the U.S. from Canada. According to the arresting officer he said, "I'm doing this from the order of the White House." I was carrying vitamins and they said they were drugs. 

Me: What was the after effect of that? 

Jane: My family feared for my safety, a lot of actors distanced themselves from me, the media treated me like a traitor. Their were protests with people holding up "Hanoi Jane" placards. 

Me: How did you make peace with the way you were treated and more importantly how did you come out of that situation not being cynical? 

Jane: Cynicism is what I hate the worst. I don't tolerate it in myself or anybody else. I'm not cynical. But here's the thing... you should never want to be an activist by yourself. You should always be imbedded in an organization or a movement, surrounded by people whom you share values and share goals. That was the case for me, I was part of movement. We didn't have very much money, I lived in a house with other activists. There were lot of us living in the same house. That's what we did in those days, we were in our 30s and we were relatively poor. And so I always had people around me, I was never alone. That's what made it possible to withstand the assaults that ere coming at me. I knew who I was. They couldn't tell me who I was. "They" being the administration and the Right wingers. As long as I was solid in who I was and why I had done what I had done and I was in the bosom of a movement I was fine. 

Me: How did you incorporate you activism and your values with your acting career? 

Jane: Well, I was for a number of the early years of my activism, my celebrity I found it problematic. This where I'm different than most of the celebrity activist, I was on the ground. I was on the ground a lot in different parts of the country. I was in the factory's in Detroit, talking to organizers. I was on Indian reservations and so forth. So the celebrity separated from the people that I was working with. I always felt like an outsider. One day I had a friend, he was a black lawyer out of Detroit, he was the head of the League of Revolutionary Black Workers. Ken Cockrel was his name, he said to me, he was like my mentor at the time, and I said, "I think I'm going to quit Hollywood and become just a full time organizer." And he said, "Fonda, wait a minute, wait a minute. The movement has plenty of organizers. We don't have movie stars. Not only should you stay in the industry, you should pay more attention to your career. Be more intentional about your career." And that's where I decided to start making movies that were about things that I cared about. Fun with Dick and Jane and Coming Home, The China Syndrome, 9 to 5, et cetera. 

Me: 9 to 5? I saw that movie when I was a kid. That's a comedy so how does it fit into the same category? 

Jane: It tackles women issues like equal pay, and flexible work. 

Me: Okay, good point. Did you have an idea at that time that the film would be revolutionary? 

Jane: Yeah, absolutely. One of my best friends from the Anti-War Movement her day job was organizing secretaries. She would tell me stories about secretaries and that's when I said I got to make a movie about it. 

Me: So, you didn't just want to be an activist, but you wanted to do it in the movies as well? 

Jane: I wanted to do both. The reason those films worked is because I had spent time with the kind of people we were concerning ourselves with. Coming Home for example, I spent years talking to military wives. Women whose husbands had gone overseas and come back unrecognizable. I knew those men, I talked to hundreds of them. And the women who were married to the men, I could bring that to Coming Home. The same with the other movies, I was familiar with the people. 

Me: So, at the last Oscars you showed up wearing a 6 year old gown and you declared it was a bigger part to not to buy new clothes. Have you been able to hold yourself to that one? 

Jane: I have to say I have not changed shape so I can wear clothes that I wore 20 years ago. So I have lot of clothes and I'm never going to buy new clothes again. 

Me: That's bloody crazy. I buy t-shirts all the time, Jane. What spurred that decision? 

Jane: Consumerism. We have to walk our talk if we are against consumerist society, and that contributes to global warming. When I grew up it wasn't that way, consumerism wasn't what it is today. It just wasn't important to wearing a grand be wearing a band so on and so forth. I read that Greta Thunberg is part of Stop Shop, I never heard that word before. I looked into it and I decided I was going to do that too. 

Me: So, how do you stay hopeful and what keeps you hopeful? 

Jane: Getting older takes work. Getting older really helps because been there, done that, you know, things have been bleak before. We survived and got through. When I started to get depressed the best antidote to depression is activism, and when she puts herself on the line, the hopelessness disappears. I've been arrested for civil disobedience but this was very deliberate. This was the first time, this Fire Drill Friday for four months in D.C. before we went virtual. It was like my idea, I didn't rely on some guy to give me the narrative, I kind of owned it. The first day that I was standing on the steps with 15 other people holding our placards and chanting, I felt so good. It was like stepping into myself. When I'm putting your whole body on the line for something that I believe in, when I'm fully aligned with my deepest values, there is such a feeling of empowerment. And I realized that the other 14 people felt the same way. And on the last day, four months later, when there were 350 people standing on the steps. And I could see in their faces that they all felt that. It included a bunch of celebrities, Joaquin Phoenix and Martin Sheen and Susan Sarandon and a lot of others. 

Me: Okay. Jane, this was so cool to have you here. Thanks so much for being on the Phile. 

Jane: Thank you.

I have to say that was a lot better interview than I thought it would be. Thanks to Jane Fonda for being on the Phile. The Phile will be back on Friday with actor Loren Lester. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon

Fergal Lawler And Noel Hogan From The Cranberries

 

There's nothing worse than having a Cranberries song stuck in your heeeeeeeead, in your heeeeeeead, in your heeeeeeeead, in your head, in your head, in your hea, hea, hea, head... hahaha. Hello, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Wednesday, It's Thanksgiving Eve. May your turkey be moist and may no one use that word to describe it. May your Thanksgiving feast perform well on TikTok. Pedophiles that hold community programs tend to have creepy names for the programs too, and it becomes hard to trust really anyone anymore that says they want to make a difference in the community. In Newport, Pennsylvania, Judge Michael E. Schechterly, who ran a program at his church called Royal Rangers, is now being charged with corruption of minors and indecent assault. Perry County District Judge Michael Schechterly is accused of sexually assaulting a 12-year-old boy and is now being charged with unlawful contact with children following a Pennsylvania state police investigation that revealed the assault in his home. According to Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro, the boy was assaulted back in 2012, a year after Schechterly was elected. The 58-year-old had been caught after an investigation was conducted after residents became concerned about his program Royal Rangers, where he called himself “Commander Mike.” Shapiro said, “Serious allegations show this judge violated the trust that the citizens of Perry County placed in him by sexually abusing a little boy.” According to authorities, witnesses said that Schechterly regularly took children into his district court and his home. And while investigators interviewed him, he discussed his “porn addiction” and his masturbation habit in his district court office, evident by the stains on the surfaces. The affidavit said, “When [questioned] regarding stains on surfaces in the district court, he indicated those stains would likely be his semen. In the course of this conversation, Schechterly admitted that as an adolescent he was sexually attracted to boys.” And to make matters worse, at first, Schechterly claimed that the young boy was the one who took his hand and put it on the child’s crotch. But then, he changed his story saying the 12-year-old boy took his own hand and put it on Schechterly’s own genitals. Sex crimes are always horrible, especially when they come from within someone who has gained the community’s trust. Sexual abuse should never be taken lightly, and Shapiro asks that if anyone else has any more information about Schechterly, to call Pennsylvania State Police at (717)-881-6937. Shapiro says, “We will hold the powerful and well-connected accountable to law just like everyone else. My office will investigate and prosecute anyone who abuses their authority to harm Pennsylvanians, no matter what position of power they may hold.”  

A couple’s gender reveal party ended in the fail every gender reveal party deserves after the confetti-filled black balloon the mom was holding floated away into the sky, never revealing the baby’s gender. Why can we all enjoy it? Mostly because at least they didn’t start a wildfire or something. This is a harmless and hilarious fail. Perfectly made for social media. The whole fail is pretty straightforward too. The couple was going to let their baby girl pop the gender reveal balloon with a dart. The little girl tried and failed so the mom took the dart away. Then, the little girl threw a fit about not getting to pop the balloon so the mom gave the dart back to her. Then things went wrong and a viral video was born. The little girl, still upset about being snubbed or the dart not working the first time, took the dart and threw it as hard as she could toward the gender reveal onlookers and other family members. The mother, who was holding the balloon, immediately turned to her daughter to yell at her for throwing a dart at other people. But, in her anger, she let go of the balloon, which had the gender of the baby inside. Then the balloon floated upward, never to be seen again. A gender reveal ruined. Now they’ll never be able to elaborately reveal if they’re having a little girl or little boy. Sad! Now they’re resigned to posting whether they had a baby girl or baby boy on Facebook. Like peasants. The moment is ruined. The child will forever be tainted. A disappointment before it was even born. Tragic.

Ever ate at an In-N-Out Burger? I don't want to eat at a place that's telling me what is going to happen to my food. I know it'll go in my mouth and come out my ass. But I heard it’s delicious. So when a new location opened in Arvada, Colorado this week, the demand became so hectic that police officers were called to the scene to manage this, let’s say, tasteful situation. According to a report by local Fox News affiliate KDVR, several customers were waiting in line for 14 HOURS for some double-doubles. A 14-hour wait in a drive-thru? Yeah, I can understand why tensions were extremely high. But I mean, who is trying is trying to get stuck in a 14-hour line for a burger? Just wait a week and go to Popeyes to get a chicken sandwich, the long line will die down. Nobody has time for a grand opening in the middle of COVID. So, before the end of the day, police officers had a break up a fistfight. Because, duh, people are impatient. According to the Aurora Police Department, they did their best to warn customers that they would be a wait time of at least 12 hours at the In-N-Out Burger if they stopped by. In the afternoon, the official APD Twitter account began advising people not to go to the fast-food chain since it would be closed by the time they made it to the window. The burger chain is usually open from 10 a.m. to 1 a.m. local time at all locations, with an extra half hour on the weekends. Other In-N-Out Burger locations are located in Los Angeles California, Southern California, Texas, Arizona, Nevada, and Utah, but this is the first restaurant to open in the Denver, Colorado location. The eatery is located near East Alameda Avenue. But shortly after it opened, police needed to direct huge traffic at the scene. They advised customers that this kind of traffic jam was not for the faint of heart, asking them to consider supporting a local restaurant instead and trying an In-N-Out Burger later. So as expected, a fistfight broke out because people never listen. The now-viral video on social media shows two men fighting between cars, as one comes dangerously close to hitting his head on the concrete floor. As two other men approached, the 5th person then came in and grabbed one of the men, ending the confrontation. It’s still not clear if any legal action was taken over this ridiculous fight. What I love most about this brawl is that one, it’s extremely ridiculous, men will be men, and two, one man was stranded without pants and had to work with it in front of all these people watching him. I’m sure he was embarrassed, but hey he’ll forget about it once he gets his tasty burger. Sorry dude, I lost it a little watching you, but I hope you’re okay. Also… did we forget about the coronavirus pandemic? Just look at that drive-thru line of cars! 

Where are your facemasks? Can you imagine when an In-N-Out Burger opens up in New York City? Oh gosh.

Hallmark is finally stepping out of the box by continuing to tell diversified storylines for this year’s Countdown to Christmas. This year, one of the network’s holiday movies celebrated love by featuring a same-sex couple. The Christmas House premiered on November 22nd, starring Jonathan Bennett, known for his popular role in Mean Girls and "Cake Wars." The Christmas movie follows Brandon (Bennet) and his husband Jake, played by Brad Harder, who visit Brandon’s parents for the cheery holidays during which the couple is “anxiously awaiting a call about the adoption of their first child.” TV star Robert Buckley, who is known for starring in "One Tree Hill," stars as Brandon’s brother Mike who also makes it back home for the holidays and quickly reconnects with his high school sweetheart, Andi, played by Ana Ayora. Yup, this movie definitely screams Hallmark already. So, to take it a bit further, their parents Bill (Treat Williams) and Phylis (Sharon Lawrence) hope that the Mitchell family gets together to “recreate the Christmas house will help them find resolution and make a memorable holiday for the entire family and community.” According to Michelle Vicary, executive vice president, the network’s roots are in movies that are positive and have meaningful connections. She noted, “Our movies are rooted in warmth and positivity, meaningful connections, family gatherings, and seasonal traditions... a winning formula we hope will bring our millions of viewers much-needed levity and holiday cheer at the end of a tough year.” The news from Hallmark’s announcement of The Christmas House comes after Lifetime’s announcement back in August, where the network shared that for the first time its lineup this holiday season would include films that are centered on LGBTQ romance and a Chinese-American family. The announcement also comes after the Hallmark Channel vowed in July to increase their LGBTQ representation following several criticisms and boycotts that the channel’s upcoming Hallmark movie lineup heavily lacked diversity. Through a statement, Hallmark Channel responded, noting, “Diversity and inclusion is a top priority for us and we look forward to making some exciting programming announcements in the coming months, including announcements about projects featuring LGBTQ storylines, characters, and actors. We are committed to creating a Hallmark experience where everyone feels welcome.” 

An unexpected production mishap occurred during "The Mandalorian's Chapter 12." It continues to make a buzz among the fans of the Star Wars franchise for a couple of days now. If you failed to catch the fun episode title "The Siege," the said blunder features a brief shot of a man in civilian clothes while Mando, Greef Karga, Cara Dune, and Mythrol were in the middle of a tension-filled battle with Stormtroopers. Eagle-eyed fans quickly noticed the guy's appearance in the frame and the unidentified fellow (who's presumably a member of the show's production crew) has become an overnight sensation, so much so that fans now refer to him as "Jeans Guy." Whether Jeans Guy's appearance was unintentional or not, we'll never truly know but surprisingly enough, the error didn't cause a tremendous amount of backlash considering "The Mandalorian" is supposed to be a show of high caliber. I guess it only goes to show that fans like to have a little fun every now and then. Let's be real here, not even a production mishap like that would take away the fact that the show consistently delivers. So, Jeans Guy, whoever you are, you're cool. 

I can't believe Disney is already cashing in on "Jeans Guy." Check this out...

Hahaha. So, some NFL teams changed their logos this season. Like this one...

Okay. Whatever. If I had a TARDIS I would go back in time to Times Square in New York City in the 1940s...

That's pretty cool, right? Okay, here's a story from this crazy ass state I live in.

A Florida man came close to breaking state records after he bagged a 1,000-pound alligator that he claimed had been stalking him for years. According to CNN, Corey Capps of Blountstown, Florida has an alligator hunting story for the ages after he took down a thousand-pound monster that he claims had been the one hunting him for all these years. While taking a boat ride down the Apalachicola River with his wife the pair spotted the beast on one of the riverbanks. Later, Capps contacted his buddy with state-issued gator tags, Rodney Smith, as one presumably does in Florida. The next day the pair went back out and killed the massive alligator with a harpoon, while it was hanging out in the exact same spot it was a day earlier. Though this beast didn’t break the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s record for the largest gator ever captured it was still ridiculously huge, as the pics show. 

So big, in fact, that Capps and Smith need three hours to drag the thing a mere 100 feet from where they killed it to their boat. What they really needed was a backhoe. Anyway, congratulations to Capps, Smith, and Capps’ wife both for their impressive kill and also for not being swallowed whole by this thing. This gator could’ve eat all three of them like they were a plate of mozzarella sticks at Hooters. Each person a singular mozz stick. An appetizer for whatever the hell this thing would eat for an actual full meal. Ten deer? A station wagon with a family inside of it like in that movie Tremors? Either way, this dinosaur could do some serious damage. Now go kill all the pythons.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, my favorite place on the planet. At least in the top 5 places. 

Looks cold there. It probably is in the 50s. Yup... 53°F to be exact. Okay, wanna laugh?

Three old maids die and arrive in heaven at the same time. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, then one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, dark hair, and muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word and walks away. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Cranberry sauce

Cranberry sauce is the worst thing to happen to Thanksgiving since your dad found out about TikTok.

The 140th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Jane will be the guest on the Phile on Monday. 

Today's guests are two members of the Irish rock band the Cranberries. Their last album "In the End" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Fergal Lawler and Noel Hogan.

Me: Hey, guys, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Fergal: We are here. 

Noel: Still feeling the loss of Dolores's voice. Apart from that I'm okay. 

Me: The three remaining members of the Cranberries released "In the End." Dolores sings on that album, guys, how did you out that together? 

Noel: It was made with incomplete demo tapes, we dug up voice memos Dolores sent via email as well as bits and pieces of music that had not yet seen the light of day. 

Me: What made you wanna put this album out? 

Noel: We think it's something Dolores would want us to do. 

Me: Why is that? 

Noel: Because I was talking to her literally until the day before she passed away and it was all excitement about this album and getting to record it. It felt like we were doing it some kind of injustice by not finishing it. So we listened to it together and then we had to speak to the families to see how they felt about it. If they didn't want us to do it we wouldn't have. But they were actually delighted that we were going to do it. 

Me: Why is that? 

Noel: Because Dolores had shared her enthusiasm with them as well. So that helped I think, we knew what we had and we knew the vocals were good enough to use and the songs were good enough. And once we had their blessings really the last piece of the puzzle was to ring Stephen Street who has been our long time producer and he was onboard when he heard the songs as well. And looking back now I guess I think it was a form of therapy for us as well. 

Me: You think so? That's cool, right?

Noel: Yeah. Yeah, I do. Because I cannot imagine what we would have done individually if it wasn't for this album to get us through that year. 

Me: What did it do for you? 

Noel: It gave us a focus and a kind of mission that we had to do this for Dolores, to finish it. For the band to do her memory justice things like that. Especially when we finish it, we go home and listen to it. I don't mean this is an arrogant way but I think this is an incredible piece of work we have here. And to think that could've been sitting on a hard drive or shelf forever for know one to hear, then I think we definitely did the right thing. 

Me: Fergal, do you think that was a lot of pressure to release an album that Dolores wouldn't hear? 

Fergal: Yeah, but I also think she kind of encouraged us to do our best and we would be letting her down if we didn't give it everything. 

Me: What was the first day of recording this album like? 

Fergal: The first day of recording was really overwhelming emotionally. We were kind of moping around a bit and it was hard to get into it, to focus. But once we realised this wasn't going to do anyone favours for moping around like this we are not going to give 100% of what we need to do here, to finish the work that Dolores started. Once we got that focus and our mind set and worked on individual parts we got the bigger picture that this needs to be really good and strong quality Cranberries album. Rotting in a cupboard with bits of demos was the last thing anyone wanted. 

Me: I heard the album and love the songs, especially the song "All Over Now." When you hear that song what's the first thing that comes to mind? 

Noel: That it sounds really great and I'm surprised. 

Me: When my dad passed away I went through his demos and thought it was so weird. Was it weird for you guys hearing her voice on the demos? 

Noel: Yep. When we checking all the pieces and patching it here and there then we hit solo on the desk and it's like oh my God. There's a song on there called "Lost" and it's the second song on the album I think and it's one that she sounds really, really delicate on it. It wasn't an unfinished vocal but it has this sort of charm and vulnerability with it. It was for me the hardest going through the demos before we ever went to the studio. I had to walk away from it and come back to it a couple of times to get from beginning to end. Then funny enough when we all got together to record it in the same room we all felt the same way. It's a beautiful song, and it came out amazing and probably one of our favourites on there. There are moments on the album where we listen to her and wonder what was going on at that moment. 

Me: How rough were these demos? What were you using here? 

Noel: A lot of it was done kind of Backing Track and Logic, then sent to Dolores who was in her apartment in New York in a one room bedroom or something like that and she did these vocals. Then she'd send the songs back then. There were other songs she worked on when she was living in Toronto, she was living between there and New York and those ones were a bit more developed because she had more time with them. So it was kind of a mix of both types of songs. 

Me: Fergal, was there ever a time when you were making this record that it seemed a little bit too much? 

Fergal: No, because even before Dolores passed away she was in quite a good place. I mean there's not a lot of doom and gloom on this album, there's quite a few happy songs because she had been through a divorce and was very open about it. She struggled with her mental health and was getting on top of that and getting therapy and was on medication to keep her balance more. She was in a good place and was feeling quite content. She was looking forward to a new chapter of her life. So we knew she was feeling in a good place when she worked on this album but she needed to get the bad memories out of her head and put them on paper. I think once we got the first week done and realised this sounds really good and it sounded like a proper Cranberries album we knew we were doing good and kept on going from there. 

Me: So, is this the final Cranberries album? 

Noel: Yeah. It's not like a big discussion was had, we just knew we were going to do this and that was it then. 

Me: So, when you first met Dolores what do you remember about meeting her for the first time? 

Noel: We had another singer before we met Dolores for a brief spell and he was a good friend offers as well and he left and we were basically an instrumental band for a while. We were writing songs that would be for the first Cranberries album. "Linger" was floating around for a while and we met this guy named Niall who said, "My girlfriend knows a girl who is looking for a band and just wants to do originals." we said, "That's us. Let her come on up." We met her on a Sunday afternoon around 1990. 

Me: What did you think of her when you saw her? 

Noel: She came in with this shiny tracksuit on and she was tiny and very shy and not at all the Dolores the world got to know. We were like does she want to be in a band kind of thing? And then she opened her mouth and started to sing and it was like oh, God, it's kind of unbelievable. Then we wondered if she was already in a band and doing something. That was the day we met. We didn't now how it would change all our lives that day, there four of us meeting together, It just grew and grew from that moment on. 

Me: I loved her voice and thought she was very cute. I was really into the band and saw you guys open for Duran Duran. Fergal, how would you describe Dolores' voice? 

Fergal: It's a mixture of things. She played piano for a long time and she was in a choir and I remember she said her piano teacher tried to give her some vocal lessons and said, "You can't do this and you can't do that" and she rebelled against that straight away and said, "I'm never going to go bear another vocal coach or anyone like that because I really like my voice." That's what made her unique. She had massive range and her influences were from opera to country music to she used to go sing with the monks at Glenstal Abbey and do Gregorian chanting and stuff. And if we went to a pub after a gig she would start singing an old Irish sound that no one knew. She was amazing. 

Me: What did you think about her songwriting? What do you think she wrote about? 

Fergal: Anything that touched her she'd write about. Whatever she felt, she wouldn't think of the consequences and thought what if people were upset by this or that. 

Me: She wrote about zombies before zombies were cool... hahahahaha. 

Fergal: That moved her, when those children were killed that made her really angry. 

Me: Seriously, when you first heard that song what did you think? 

Fergal: I remember to this day when she came in we were in this little small garage rehearsing and she said, "I'm really angry about this, I want to do something really loud and angry. Do you have any distortion pedals?" Hit the drums louder kind of thing. 

Me: I don't think that was normal for women in the industry at that time to write a political song, am I right? 

Noel: For is that was a complete different sound because we had "Linger" and "Dreams," which were massive and at that time before "Zombie" came out we had it for a while bit nobody heard that side of us really. Then for a female singer in the 90s to be that outspoken about things it was kind of unheard of really. When people got to know what she was like they didn't know what would come out of her really. When she felt about something she said it and didn't care. 

Me: You guys got really, really big. How did Dolores deal with that kinda fame? 

Noel: It was harder for her than us. 

Me: Why is that? 

Noel: I mean there was the initial when we became big for a little while people recognised us, then people started getting used to seeing us around. Dolores being the only girl in the band and also the front person there was more of a demand to get more from her all the time. She actually found it difficult living in Ireland for a while because sh built a house in a place called Dingle and it became part of a tourist kind of thing. Big busses would pull up outside and people would take photos. Her ex-husband was from Toronto so she moved to Toronto. She liked to get away from it when she wasn't working, if you want to call it that. We got to go home and live our lives as normal, we had the best of both worlds. We could just blend in and come back and do this. With her there was no escape and one side of it. Particularly when we were that big she was always on and after the third album we took a few years away from it. We could look back at that time and could see how tinged she had become, she wasn't well just from the stress of it all. We took a couple of years away then she settled back down again and realised this is what she loved doing and she was going to do that. 

Me: Fergal, when did you notice Dolores was struggling with being bipolar? 

Fergal: It was around the same time it was made public. She started talking about it and realised that was it. It kind of explained a lot of the erratic behavior I suppose around that time. We were just supportive really. We tried to help her as much as possible and encourage her to get help. She was like a little sister. There was a side of her that people didn't know, which was a really funny, laugh, jokey. 

Me: Tell me something about her. 

Fergal: Ummm... I suppose award ceremonies we were talking about recently we would try to be so serious and try to be so cool and all that and she'd be taken the piss. It's funny, once she passed away all those memories of early times just came back when it was just the four of us in a van together with a couple of friends. That's when we really got to know her properly, when she wasn't so shy anymore she became a friend at that point. She was in the van cracking jokes, because we would be in the van for about seven hours going to all these places, we had no choice to get to know each other. 

Me: How was she doing the last time you saw her? 

Fergal: Great. She was actually doing really good. She emailed the night before she passed away. We were talking about going to China to do a few gigs and was looking forward to this album and looking forward to the future. She just bought a house outside Limerick and she was buying furniture for it. She was looking forward to the future in a positive way. 

Me: What about for you, Noel? 

Noel: I spoke to her the Friday before she passed away. Most of the day was on and off on the phone, discussing these songs and what the process was. That made it a bit harder because when I was talking to someone and look at dates for after China then when I got the news I thought it didn't make sense, someone talking about all this and suddenly they are not here anymore. I got the phone call and thought that's wrong, there's been a mix up here, That's generally what I thought for a while I guess it was stick or whatever. It makes it a bit harder when someone who is as true as she was then comes out the other side of it and is at a really good place. She was in really good spirits that Friday and she was out buying furniture for her new house on Saturday. We're not the only people to have lost someone close to them, anyone who has been through it knows what its like. It takes time, now over two years later there's still a lot of disbelief and I cannot believe its happened. 

Me: How is it promoting this record for so long? 

Noel: It's getting easier, we've been doing it for about a year now. We realised doing it what we have taken onboard. That we are not just recording this album and putting it out there, that we would have to do this. It's a lot of positive stuff we are talking about with her. How our lives were with her and these songs she would be very, very proud of. Again I would hate of doing the injustice of not doing this. The album come out and nobody be aware of it. 

Me: I love the song "Wake Me Up When It's Over." What can you say about it? 

Fergal: It's a bit of a rocking one. People say it reminds them of "Zombie" because of the big chorus. It's a nice rock song. 

Me: That's great. Thanks for coming on the Phile, Take care and please come back again soon. All the best. 

Noel: Thank you. 

Fergal: Thanks.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Fergal and Noel. The Phile will be back on Monday with Jane Fonda! Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain. Have a great Thanksgiving. 

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon