Pheaturing Sean Marshall

"Petey! Where'd he go?"

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile from Walt Disney World! How are you? For your safety, I recommend you remain seated during your entire visit to the park. Please note that Steampunk Land is closing because steampunk is so over. Welcome, new summer Cast Members! Start mopping up vomit! If you see any characters in the parks, it's selfie season! At the parks you can meet some princesses and princes. Speaking of princes...
Sunday was a big Father's Day for royal gossip. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex presented the world with an adorable glimpse at Baby Archie's tiny fingers. And on an extremely less wholesome note, British tabloids published pieces on the scuttlebutt amongst the aristocracy, who definitely call gossip "scuttlebutt." The Daily Mail published a lengthy piece about the state of Prince William's alleged mistress Rose Hanbury's marriage. Earlier this month, Queen Elizabeth II hosted a state banquet for Donald Trump at Buckingham Palace, and the Royal Family got in the Trumpian spirit by having an alleged mistress there. People noticed that the marchioness/mistress wasn't wearing her wedding ring, which suggests that there's trouble in paradise for the esteemed Cholmondeleys of Houghton Hall. Hanbury's husband, 58-year-old David Rocksavage, has reportedly been spending a lot of time in Paris since the rumors of the affair began circulating, "while Rose is left alone to run their magnificent country seat, 106-room Houghton Hall with its 1,000-acre estate bordering Sandringham." Sad? "Royal sources" have spoken to The Daily Mail about the ordeal and have hammered home the narrative about how unfair the rumors are for the poor aristocrats. One royal source insisted the whole saga was simply "malicious gossip" from someone "who appears to have an agenda to discredit William and Kate." "David and Rose have been real victims in all of this too. They are not public figures and it is very unfair. It has all got completely out of hand," the source added. "It's just really upsetting for everyone." A spokesman for the Cholmondeleys said, 'There is no foundation to any of the tabloid articles that have appeared. There is nothing else to say whatsoever." The Sun is also reporting that Hanbury has been advised by official royal aides to "say nothing" about the affair, after previously publishing-and-deleting a comment from her brother. An old post on The Sun said that somebody said that Hanbury said of the Rose and William rumors, “It seems to have started because she had one or two suppers with William in Norfolk when Kate was away.” “But it was hardly as if they were meeting behind Kate’s back... of course she knew they were getting together. And Kate was grateful that a good friend and neighbour like Rose was there to entertain William.” But as Celebitchy.com notes, those lines were deleted, likely because an "unsupervised dinner" could be read as a euphemism for banging. I don't think that the Palace's strategy of trying to get us to shut up about a sex scandal by presenting an aristocrat who allegedly banged the future king as sympathetic is going to work out so well.
While the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School mobilized many survivors to fight for gun safety and begin the March For Our Lives, at least one student's takeaway was that America needs more guns, and his name is Kyle Kashuv. Kyle Kashuv's outlier status among the Parkland teens made him a conservative media darling, and he became BFFs with Fox News and their most famous employee, President Trump. Kashuv was such a staple of the conservative movement that it was revealed he used racial slurs, calling black student athletes "nigger-jocks" and spamming an AP U.S. History study guide with the N-word. A month after his racists notes and texts were revealed, Harvard University rescinded his admission. It turns out that racial slurs can get you kicked out of Harvard when they're precisely what gets you invited to Princeton. Many a racist has gone to Harvard, but they either didn't get caught being racist before they became Secretary of State or had rich enough parents to buy and keep their slot. Kashuv's fellow conservative pundits are absolutely AGHAST at this turn of events, like Ben Shapiro, who fears for a future in which people are held to the impossible standard of not using racial slurs. First of all, Mr. Shapiro, why would you call this an "auto-da-fe" when the pun "N-word-quisition" is RIGHT THERE? Secondly, it's interesting to see Shapiro's take on which teenagers are worthy of sympathy. It's racists all the way down.
Another day in Trump's America, where the main debate between members of Congress is whether or not the kids concentrated in camps at the border are indeed in concentration camps. Rep. Liz Cheney, third-ranking Republican in the House and spawn of Dick, is absolutely AGHAST that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez compared the detention camps to migrant children to those made famous by the Nazis during the Holocaust. Immigrant children and families are being held in detention facilities on the southern border, and are even being transferred to an Oklahoma army base that was used as an internment camp for Japanese Americans during World War II, so yeah, comparisons to the 1940s are not out of nowhere. "The U.S. is running concentration camps on our southern border, and that is exactly what they are," Ocasio-Cortez said on Instagram. "The fact that concentration camps are now an institutionalized practice in the home of the free is extraordinarily disturbing, and we need to do something about it." Cheney, a self-proclaimed authority on Jewish history and memory, accused AOC of "demeaning" the memory of Holocaust victims, whom Cheney herself dehumanized by describing them as having been "exterminated" like vermin. AOC explained "to the shrieking Republicans" that her use of the phrase concentration camps "is not hyperbole. It is the conclusion of expert analysis." Andrea Pitzer, author of One Long Night: A Global History of Concentration Camps, defined concentration camps to Esquire as "mass detention of civilians without trial," which is precisely what's going on. AOC also asked Chiz Leney for her take on the semantics. Jewish people, whom Dick Cheney's daughter claims to speak for, are speaking up to her. Good job, Liz.
This is a savage ratio of world-historical proportions. DNC hack tweets is the new DNC hack, and it spells bad news for 2020.

The levels of "how do you do, fellow kids?" is a weird way to pump up people who just the white supremacist guy gone and access to healthcare. There has got to be a better way to win.
Pakistani regional minister Shaukat Yousafzai was streaming a press conference on Facebook Live and accidentally activated the adorable cat filter. Yousafzai never looked more adorable while talking about the goings on of the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in northwest Pakistan. Check it out...

Look's like that cat is out of the bag.
Man, if I had a TARDIS I would go to Walt Disney World in the 70s and see this float in a parade...

We would come to WDW every year growing up and saw every parade but I don't remember seeing this. I was thinking of getting a new tattoo but someone had the same idea I had.

Don't look, kids. Moving on... do you guys like the Beast? Well, if you wondering where they came up with the character here's how...

Ha! Brow of a gorilla. Hahaha. Did you know Gaston was supposed to be a female? No? Take a look...

I bet her name wouldn't be Gaston though. Ever watch a Disney movie on DVD or Blu-ray and pause it? It's a fun game to play. Check this out...

I always thought Disney animated movies looked "unreal." This is the way Snow White should've looked...

So, if you ever wondered what Alice did after she went to Wonderland I will show you...

Poor thing. Did you see the new live action Aladdin? I didn't, but after seeing this screen shot I want to...

That looks nothing like Will Smith. That is so stupid. That's as stupid as...

You know Walt Disney World is in Florida, right? There's stuff that happen in this state that happen no where else in the Universe. So once again here is...

Congratulations to Abigain Carlson and Zachary Fuit, a newly wedded couple who got a free honeymoon in the county jail! The 21-year-old bride and 26-year-old groom reportedly snuck into an abandoned elementary school in the city of Milton, Florida, as part of an after party with four of their guests. The Pensacola News Journal reports that the wedding party were charged with " burglary, criminal mischief and theft." Fuit, as well as his buddies, are former marines, and they broke into the old school by pulling off wooden boards and climbing through a broken window. A man heard noises and reported the license plate numbers to the police, and the happy couple were stopped by cops in the parking lot of a Pic-N-Sav. To paraphrase Game of Thrones, a Florida wedding without at least three arrests is considered a dull affair.

After filming a scene for John Wick 3 with a bunch of child actors, Keanu stuck around to meet and take pictures with all the kids.

There's a friend of the Phile who tends to get into a fight wherever he goes. He was at Epcot earlier and got into a fight and wanted to come here and tell us what happened. Please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hey, Eddie, what are you doing getting into a fight at Disney?

Pork Chop Eddie: The bastard started it.

Me: Okay, so what happened?

Pork Chop Eddie: I told my friend Vanilla Ice ripped off Queen with "Ice, Ice, Baby." He proceeded to punch me in the mouth.

Me: So, he hit you?

Pork Chop Eddie: Well, I carried on as if nothing happened... until I punched him out. He also told me that Will Smith was a better Genie than Robin Williams.

Me: Eddie, you have to stop fighting.

Pork Chop Eddie: Bud, I've been fighting ever since Kindergarten.

Me: You got into a fight in Kindergarten?

Pork Chop Eddie: Yeah. One of my best friends wouldn't share the paste, so I threw him on the floor and bit him in the face.

Me: Sheesh. Pork Chop Eddie, kids. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, here is...

Top Phive Things Summer College Program Cast Members Should Know
5. How to Pretend to Speak a Guest's foreign language.
4. How to kick annoying kids without guilt.
3. How to stall while we fix the rides because Russia hacked us again.
2. How to never get paid for overtime.
And the number one thing a summer CP Cast Member should know...
1. How to best serve me at Star Tours.

Hahahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, before we continue I have an idea for the Phile. A lot of people at work over the years asked me for advice on allllll kinds of things. So, I thought I can pull a "Steve Harvey" and help my readers on different stuff. So, if you have a question or a situation you want me to help with then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com and I will answer it on the Phile hopefully. I CAN help you, my friends.

Gloria Vanderbilt
February 20th, 1924 — June 17th, 2019
The only "Crime of the Century" is how this self-absorbed socialite got famous in the first place.

The 100th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

I'm so excited. Roger will be the guest on the Phile on July 1st.

Geppetto said, “I just can't seem to finish this woodworking project, but it's not for lacquer trying.”

This is bloody cool... today's guest is an American former actor and singer who started acting in 1971 at the age of 6. He was in more than ten movies including The Deadly Trackers, The New Adventures of Heidi and the Disney animated short film The Small One, but he is most commonly known for playing the protagonist Pete in the 1977 Disney movie Pete's Dragon for which he earned a gold record. Please welcome to the Phile... Sean Marshall.

Me: Hey, Sean, welcome to the Phile. It's so cool to have you here! How are you doing?

Sean: Well, I'm great to be here and I appreciate that.

Me: So, I have to tell you that Pete's Dragon is one of my favorite Disney movies. I saw the premier at Radio City Music Hall in New York, and used to play the album on vinyl over and over again. When I saw the movie at Radio City you were there and some of the cast and I remember saying to my parents and sister, "I wish the dragon was there" and my dad replied, "It's just a cartoon." Haha. 

Sean: That's cool. We must be about the same age then.

Me: Yeah, and we looked similar as kids. I could've been Pete easily. Haha. So, how did you get the part of Pete?

Sean: Well, it's just like any other interview. Well, I don't want to say it's like any interview. They contact my agent and they arranged the interview. Actually this was a HUGE massive interview, they had hundreds of kids trying out for the part. The interview process actually took a long time, there were numerous call backs. I went back, oh, man, about twenty or thirty times in the course of several months til they widdled it down to just two if us. Then at that point we did a screen test and obviously they gave me the part.

Me: Do you know who the other kid was?

Sean: It was Shane Sinutko, another child actor at the time. It was kind of funny because frequently we would go out for parts in series and movies it would come down to us two. It was weird because we didn't look anything alike. I had red hair and blue eyes and he had dark eyes and dark hair. But it frequently came down to the two of us.

Me: Were your personalities similar?

Sean: Some what. Perhaps. My dad for awhile used to race cars and work on tracks and I think his father did too so... We were kind off raised in similar way in the Valley there.

Me: Cool. So, I heard you really cried on camera, and it wasn't acting. What was that about?

Sean: Ummm... I'm not exactly sure what you are talking about. I know in my final interview when we did kind of like the live screen test Sean and I did a similar soliloquy to the camera at the time. It wasn't really set up to film, it was kind of at the end of the interview process. They had those huge lights, those light during lights they use on set and I was literally staring into the lights. The tears in that sense came pretty naturally.

Me: Ha. Do you think that was the thing that got you the part?

Sean: To a certain extent because we see supposed to be staring up and looking at the dragon and the director at the time had his and up there saying this was where the dragon's head was going to be but I was starring directly into that light. During that whole time I was literally blinded. Those lights are so, so hot those tears were streaming down my face. I think very well it had something to do with it. 

Me: What kind of techniques and eye line did they give you when you were filming the movie?

Sean: They used various technique Don Chaffey, who was the director, used to hold his hand up and say this is where the dragon's head is going to be. However they also had a couple of castings, fiber glass castings of Elliott's head. It was fully sculpted that looked like him and everything. Some were even painted, and sometimes they would hold those up, especially if their were numerous people in the scene at the same time, so that everyone could be looking at the same thing.

Me: Did you get to keep anything from the movie? Take anything from the set?

Sean: Yeah, I got so much stuff after the movie like story boards and stuff like that. But I would love to have one of those fiber glass heads.

Me: What kind of stuff do you have?

Sean: I have pictures and autographs, animation cells and like I said I have a bunch of the original story boards. Those kind of things.

Me: I wish there was a lot of merchandise and stuff from the movie when it came out. I have the record book, and I wish I still had the program that I got at the premier. Maybe it's packed away in a box somewhere. I do have a stuffed animal of Elliott though, which you sent me. That was nice of you.

Sean: Yeah, Disney is really good at archives. They have a huge archive department on the original Disney lot that anyone could go through, I suspect they probably saved a lot of that and put it in there.

Me: So, I heard a rumor that after they were done filming they wanted to move the lighthouse into Disneyland. Have you heard that?

Sean: Yeah, it actually was going to be Disney World. They built an actual lighthouse, it was a real lighthouse up in Morro Bay on private property and that's where we filmed all the exterior scenes, including the dancing scenes like "Brazzle Dazzle Day." They had plan to ship it over to Disney World and I think it was gone to be similar to or replace the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, so I'm not exactly sure how that worked out but they said no, the Treehouse is kind of permanent.

Me: That's a shame. I don't like that Treehouse thing. Would you have liked it to be at the park instead of the stupid tree?

Sean: Well... being a real lighthouse it's not meant to have a lot of people in it. The lighthouse only had one or two people in it and that was it so it wasn't really geared up to be an attraction for large crowds.

Me: Still... So, ever see the Elliott float in the Main Street Electric Light parade? It's gone now if you haven't see it... I think it is anyway.

Sean: Yeah, I rode that dragon when they first came out with it before they put it in the park, when we did the tour for the opening. So I rode that all over the country, down Fifth Avenue in New York for the opening there, in a couple of half times shows... It's funny, Katy Perry did that half time show I think it was just a few years ago, it was very, very similar what we have done too. It gave me nostalgic memories. Of course when they finally did it to the park I did ride on it in the park parades for a long time. Probably a couple of months anyway.

Me: Holy shit! I have to look through my photos... I might have a pic of you in the parade back then. I have worked for Disney for 31 years but we used to come down pretty much every year from '74ish til '84. What was it like doing that?

Sean: It was really cool, I didn't do all of them but I did it in a lot of them, It was really cool, I did enjoy it.

Me: What did you think about working at Disney, Sean?

Sean: It was so surreal, everything about it. Disney was a great place to work. I heard it still is, but back then it was still owned by the Disney family. The lot itself is almost like an extension of Disneyland, it's just so gorgeous. The grass is really green, the plants are shaped, all the streets are named after Disney characters like Mickey Mouse Road and Donald Duck Lane and all that kind of stuff. Everyone there is just so super, so friendly, it was just a really family friendly place obviously. It was really great, it was really, really cool.

Me: One of my favorite scenes in the movie was when you and Elliott arrived in Passamaquoddy and the whole town was going crazy. Was that a hard scene to shoot?

Sean: It was. It took at least a week, it may have taken more. There were so many obviously principals and tons and tons of extras and then lots and lots of special effects, which was fantastic for me, I was ten at the time. It was great to see all that stuff in action. It was a lot of fun and there as a lot pf people there, it was almost like a big party. Obviously we were working, and the only one who didn't have fun was Jim Bakkus who played the Mayor. It got to the point where they dropped the crates of eggs on him and he gets soaked in all the raw eggs and he has the broken cigar in his mouth, he had to sit around for DAYS in the hot sun with those those eggs and cigars as they shot it from different angles and everything. Poor Jim, but everyone else had a fantastic time.

Me: For the longest time I thought the movie was filmed on the East Coast, but it was filmed in California, right?

Sean: Right. Actually it was on the backlot of Disney in California, and they took months. During the time we all prepped, which was getting the dance routines down, the whole choreography down, and actually singing the songs, recording them and going through all that, they were on the backlot building that to make it look like Maine. So they built almost an outdoor world, that was supposed to be an ocean. They dug out put, they filled it up with water, built the whole town and everything else, it was really amazing.

Me: Wow. So, what was the hardest scene you guys shot?

Sean: Ummm, some of the dance scenes, the dance scene on the lighthouse was difficult again because it was cramped. It was hard to hear, they had helicopters flying around to do some of the shots, so that was kind of difficult but fun. Mickey and Helen were also there so we had lots and lots of fun together. I would say that that might of been the hardest thing, There was a lot of singing obviously that could be challenging.

Me: You worked with a huge cast, a lot of famous people in the movie, what was that like?

Sean: There were tons and tons of stars, there were Academy Award winning people. They were all just so funny, so friendly. Mickey, Red Buttons, Jim Dale, they were all just hilarious. They kept me in stitches the whole time.

Me: You look kinda like Mickey Rooney now, Sean. Hahaha. I was trying to get him on the Phile before he passed. What was he like?

Sean: He was fantastic.

Me: Okay, so, disclosure time... I had a crush on Helen Reddy back then, but my patents did not like her. Haha. I am trying to get her on the Phile. What was she like?

Sean: She was great too. I loved Helen, Helen loved me. She had a son that was just slightly younger than me at the time so she was very, very paternal. I believe this might've been her first movie so she was kind of really into the whole thing. We spent a lot of time together, we did a lot of singing together. She and Jim Dale used to shower me with gifts all the time, so that was fantastic for me as a kid of that age.

Me: Did you know who she was beforehand? I didn't I don't think.

Sean: Yeah, I knew who she was, my mom listened to all her old music and I knew all her music so to me she was a real big star.

Me: What kind of stuff did they have you do to make you look like you were acting with Elliott? 

Sean: Okay, like I said they had this fiber glass head. When we did the things like throwing the apples, eating the apples that were fried, they actually built and stand that was Elliott's stomach. We didn't shoot in blue green, we shot in yellow screen, which was an experimental process at that point. I guess in the long run didn't work out because now they use blue or green screens. They built the belly of Elliott on this stand and they had it exactly like his belly would be but on that yellowish color, so that was one way that they did it. When I actually got the part, we were talking about that scene where I was crying before, they asked Don Chaffey at the time why did he ended up giving it to me, and Don said, "Because he was the only one who could really see the dragon." So, it came down to they relied more on a sting than other kind of props and stuff.

Me: Did you have a lot of time backstage to see what was going on with the animation and stuff? 

Sean: Yeah, I knew what was going on the whole time because the animators provided constant drawings and story boards to give me the feel how it was supposed to look. It worked great, if Don Chaffey changed his mind and wanted something else they would just sit right on set and draw out the new ones. It was really cool, we spent a lot of time in the animation department.

Me: Did you guys have a lot of meetings and get to know the animators and stuff?

Sean: Yeah, we had meetings the whole time. They would have meetings in the animation department, they were talking to the animators and all of the main cast would go down there with the director and producers. We'd see everything in process. Disney at that time was just so family oriented, there were tons of buildings, or were tons of buildings, I don't know if they still shoot there, on the Disney lot that are different things like animation and archives or what have you, and we spent tons of time in those buildings and go to know everyone, It was really a great work environment.

Me: Man, I'm so jealous. So, after Pete's Dragon what did you do?

Sean: After Pete's Dragon I did a couple of series. I did "The MacKenzies of Paradise Cove" that filmed in Hawaii for awhile. Then I kind of came of age, I was graduating from 8th grade and so was going to go to high school. We went to Roman Catholic schools, so everyone was going to different Roman Catholic high schools and I chose Notre Dame which was in Sherman Oaks at the time. I got accepted in the accelerated class which is and they wouldn't let me miss more than three days at at time. And of course at this point of time I was filming movies and series and all that stuff so I was gone for months at a time so I I had to make a choice... the school or continue filming so I chose the schooling and kind of quit the business.

Me: Do you even get the urge to try something?

Sean: You know, every now and then someone will ask me to do something. I'm really not much into it, I do the interviews obviously, I do stuff when the movie is rereleased but that's pretty much about it. Sometimes I go to autograph signing things but I live out in rural New Mexico so there's not much opportunity for that.

Me: Did people make fun of you for being on a big movie in school?

Sean: No. First of all I didn't go to public schools, I went to private schools. At Notre Dame there were several actors that came before me, there were several actors and singers that came after me, to certain extent they are kind of used to that, the staff. In college it was a little bit different, I went to the United States Military Academy, so they took it kid of different. It was a different atmosphere. I remember one point in time they tied me up to a chair and forced me to watch the movie with them. I didn't have much problems.

Me: Haha. I would of used being in the film as leverage to get girls. Haha. Did you try that?

Sean: No, I never advertised it, but for some reason all the girls at the Academy knew I was in Pete's Dragon. I'm not sure why, I think one of them knew and told all the rest.

Me: So, what do you do nowadays?

Sean: Well, after I graduated from the Military Academy I sailed with the Navy for a while. I got out and went into banking, into the trust department of a big bank for a while. Then I went into a hospital where I was in charge of networks, support for desk tops, in IT. These days I am kind of retired, I stay at home, taking care of my wife who has been ill, and play guitar and do that kind of stuff.

Me: Cool. Sean, thanks for being on the Phile. I hope this was fun.

Sean: Thank you very much. If you ever need anything else, invite me back.

Me: I will. Take care, Sean, and thanks for Elliott.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Sean Marshall for a great interview. The Phile will be back in a few weeks on July 1st as I kick of summer with the great Roger Daltrey. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon

Pheaturing Austin St. John, Walter Jones And Amy Jo Johnson From "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers"

Man, that has to be one of the longest titles so far for the Phile... that's fifteen words. Three Power Rangers on one entry. Anyway, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? So, Prince Harry celebrated his first Father's Day and broke the Internet. Prince Harry isn't just a member of England's royal family... he's also a new dad. He and Duchess Meghan of Sussex welcomed Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor into the world last month. He joins William and Kate's three offspring (George, Charlotte, and Lewis) as royal grandchildren. I assume he's being accordingly spoiled with elaborate titles, jewels, and small islands. Archie was born on May 6th and immediately became the subject of memes, tweets, and international speculation. Honestly? It's probably for the best that's he's a baby and doesn't know what's going on. All that scrutiny is way too intense for the average person. That said: Archie's far from average. He's the newest addition to the globe's most famous royal family. Harry and Megan recognized Father's Day by posting an adorable photo of baby Archie to Instagram.  Here it is...

It's already amassed over 2 million likes and over 22,000 comments. Advertising Prince Harry celebrated his first Father's Day and broke the Internet. Prince Harry Happy belated Father's Day, Harry! We wish you and yours a lovely holiday. Keep the cute Instagrams coming.
Fire the Hunger Games canon. Another one bites the dust. A third cliché. Sarah Huckabee Sanders is the latest Trump official to exit the White House, although, according to the press secretary, there never was such a person. She didn't exist. She is a figure of our collective imaginations, and we are all crazy having believed that there was one. Donald Trump announced the departure via Twitter, the real press secretary.

Note: Trump has NOT been president for 3 1/2 years, but it's beautiful of him to honor her with a lie.  It will be a smooth transition for Sarah Sanders to go to not holding briefings from not holding briefings. May Sarah Huckabee Sanders' career go up in smoky eye.
Another day, another opportunity to drag Ben Shapiro. The extremely online right wing Daily Wire editor attempted to celebrate D Day on his Twitter, but his smug dedication promptly backfired and got him dragged into battle. Rather than simply writing a post appreciating our veterans, and the trauma and warfare they endured, Shapiro kept his tweet extremely on brand by managing to make the battle of Normandy about PC culture.

Shapiro got quickly dragged to the trenches by receipts documenting the whining nature of his own content, and how he has called for comedians to lose their jobs due to anti-Trump comedy. On top of that, a lot of veterans and family members of veterans chimed in to tell Shapiro to keep his trap shut and stop hurling false equivalences. Per usual, Shapiro would have been smarter to sit this one out and leave his tweet in drafts. Live and learn.
Jussie Smollett is an actor who is formerly best known for his work on "Empire" and is now famous for starring in, directing, and producing a hate crime. Chicago prosecutors mysteriously dropped all 16 of the charges against him, but the city is now suing him for $130,000, the cost of the investigations. Recently unsealed court documents shed light on Smollett's production of a hate crime and the false police report. The documents include testimony from Abimbola and Olabinjo Osundairo, the brothers hired by Smollett to stage the attack. According to the brothers Osundairo, Smollett used to hit them up for drugs including "weed, molly or Whitney," a rude slang term for cocaine (Don't bring Whitney Houston into this, okay?). He allegedly used to pay for drugs on Venmo, which is a very dumb thing to do. Smollett apparently bought ecstasy from one of the brothers and marked the Venmo payment as "for training." When filing his initial police report for the "hate crime," Smollett refused sign a medical release or hand over his phone to the police. When asked why his sweatshirt didn't get dirty after supposedly being attacked, Smollett said he clothes were clean because he fell on snow. As someone who has lived in New York for awhile, I can confirm: snow gets dirty, too. Smollett told to the police that white men threw a noose around his neck and poured bleach on him while shouting racist and homophobic slurs, including, "this is MAGA country." The brothers filled in some details, testifying that they filled a hot sauce bottle for bleach and used a clothesline instead of rope. The brothers also testified that after the alleged attack, they flew to their native country of Nigeria, and left the clothes they wore on the crime scene there. With such dirty laundry being aired, Smollett has nowhere to go but down, and "Empire" co-creator Lee Daniels confirms that Smollett will not be returning to the show.
I don't know if you know who JoJo Siwa is, but I do, and I bet your kids do, and hopefully your kids aren't getting all dolled up with asbestos. Siwa is a 16-year-old dancer, YouTuber, and toddler cosplayer who has a makeup line at Claire's, where cool tweens go to get infected earlobes. The Food and Drug Administration has released an official statement alerting customers that Siwa's makeup set not only includes eyeshadow, nail polish, lip glosses and a compact mirror... it also comes with free asbestos! Carcinogens are a bad look for the summer, and as Jezebel.com points out, Siwa's sponsored content with Claire's is unlikely to age well. Such whimsy!
Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Actually I bet that's a pretty good album. Terrible cover though. If I had a TARDIS I would go to London during World War II and see if I can find my parents. Knowing me I'd be creeped out if I saw this though...

Congratulations to the St. Louis Blues for winning the Stanley Cup. I played for the Blues once... din't believe me? Here's my hockey card...

Hahahahahahahaha. That's sooooo stupid. That's as stupid as...

I mentioned Sarah Huckabee Sanders leaving as the White House press secretary earlier... well, there's a brand new one and I have the reveal right here...

Haha. That would be fantastic, right? Man, when Donald Trump visited England a few weeks ago there sure were some bloody anti-Trump protest signs. Like this one...

About a month ago Trump threw a temper tantrum about impeachment in the Rose Garden and had props. One of the props he had I was kinda confused about...

Hmmm. So, do you miss "Game of Thrones"? When I saw this I thought there was a spin off coming out...

Ha. So, the guests on today's Phile are three of the original Power Rangers. Well, things are not so great for the newer Rangers...

The economy hit the Rangers hard. So, I said this before, one of the best things about the Internet is you can see porn easily and free. But I'd rather you not look at porn and stay reading the Phile so I came up with a solution...

You are welcome. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Possible Replacements For Sarah Huckabee Sanders:
5. An angry sewer rat.
4. That creepy doll at your nan’s house.
3. An empty KKK hood.
2. An elderly white bollock with a face drawn on it.
And the number one possible replacement for Sarah Huckabee Sanders is...
1. Ann Coulter.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. So, this is sad. Now that Sanders is leaving the White House the Phile's good "friend" won't be coming back. So, for the last time please welcome to the Phile...

Sarah: Oh, my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine... hello, Jason.

Me: Sarah! You're leaving to go to back to Arkansas! I can't believe it. I'm not going to believe that you are leaving as White House press secretary until you deny it herself.

Sarah: Yup. I'm "huck fin." Haha. Get it?

Me: Leave there jokes to me, Sarah. So, what did your resignation letter say?

Sarah: It said "I'm not quitting."

Me: Hmmm. So, how do you think you handled your job over the few years?

Sarah: Jason, I handled my job like a drunk person at a traffic stop denying I'm in a car at all.

Me: That sounds about right. So, who do you think is gonna replace you?

Sarah: Trump said Alex Jones will replace me.

Me: Really?

Sarah: Yeah. Lookit...

Me: Ugh. so, what will you be doing back in Arkansas?

Sarah: I'm returning to my former private sector job, which is slugging baby cows unconscious at a veal farm. When properly iced/rested, I can stun 120-130 calves per hour, ahead of what has been called a "wildly inhumane" slaughter.

Me: I see. Well, I'm sure you are excited for what lies ahead.

Sarah: I am, Jason. Come visit me in Arkansas sometime.

Me: I don't think that's gonna happen. Sarah Huckleberry Hound, kids. Man, I'm actually gonna miss her.

She was daydreaming about her future, now her future is gazing into your soul. Seriously, don’t stare too long. He will assume control.

And now a new pheature called...

This is a new pheature where I review all of the celebrities who were "canceled" in the past week for everything from coming out as pro-childhood illnesses to normalizing fascism. Last week, like every other week, was a painful reminder that no one in the public eye can be trusted. Not even child actors who rose to mediocrity on a Christian TV show from the '90s, then became famous by marrying the most famous member of 'NSync. If not them, who CAN we trust!?!?? Definitely none of these five people, that's for sure...
1. Kim Kardashian has been dabbling in politics, with what seemed like good intentions at first. And we are all for her helping free innocent people from prison. But she must have bumped her head on a MAGA hat while visiting Trump in the White House, because last week she called Trump "compassionate" on criminal justice, and was seen smiling and laughing in photos with known white supremacists Ivanka and Jared, effectively normalizing and praising this regime in the lead-up to the 2020 election. "Compassionate" is one hell of a word to use on a man who instated prison camps for children. The only criminal Donald Trump has ever shown any compassion for is himself. Period. Kim K. gets canceled at least once a month and continues to klaw her way back into the public favor, proving once again that "cancel culture" is effectively a myth, and getting dragged on Twitter doesn't actually affect a celebrity's livelihood or public standing negatively whatsoever. Just a friendly reminder!
2. Jessica Biel was canceled for coming out as anti-vax. She later denied it, but I'm dubious to say the least. Verdict: May she rest in 7th Heaven. Silverish lining: there's been an outbreak of clever jokes about childhood illnesses mashed up with Justin Timberlake songs.
3. Paula Abdul was canceled for possibly making up a fake plane crash. Paula Abdul has been talking for years to the media about surviving a "fiery" plane crash. One big problem: no record of the plane crash exists, and her story has a lot of holes in it. Jezebel.com did a deep dive. Don't worry, y'all, Abdul will survive this cancellation, much like she survived this maybe-fake plane crash.
4. Kylie Jenner was kancelled for throwing a "Handmaid's Tale"-themed birthday party. Kylie, like Kim, is kancelled at least once a week, yet remains one of the richest people in the world. If only we all were rich and famous enough to be "canceled"! This week the "self-made" billionaire hosted a birthday party for her friend themed on a book about women being forced into reproductive slavery, in a time when the U.S. is creeping closer and closer to this being a reality by stripping women of their reproductive rights. Cute, Kylie! Keep in mind she'll probably be one of the last people to survive the apocalypse. Everything is terrible.
5. Cuba Gooding Jr. is canceled for groping a woman in a bar. Today in "men and women are different lol": women get canceled for throwing tone-deaf birthday parties. Men get canceled for sexual assault. Last week we lost "show me the money!!!!!" guy Cuba Gooding Jr. to allegations he "forcibly touched" a woman in an NYC bar. There's even video, which is not-so-gooding for him. Show him the justice!!!!!!

It's not fair. The president was being borderline treasonous, announcing open season on American politics to foreign intelligence services, and he had to ruin it with a hilariously dumb mistake. Donald Trump told George Stephanopoulos that even though the FBI says to call the FBI if a rival government seeks to aid your political campaign, he would be down to hear any and all information that'll help him stay in power. After outrage from Americans calling the enthusiasm for compromising the integrity of the election an impeachable offense, Trump took to Twitter to say that collusion is just another type of diplomacy. According to the Very Stable Genius, having tea with the Queen of England would be no different than getting campaign assistance from former KGB agent and current dictator Vladimir Putin. Before you could freak out at his logic, he confused the large sea mammals known as whales with Wales, the country in the Great Britain, and it was hilarious. "Prince of Whales"? Goddammit, that's super funny!!! Inviting foreign intelligence services to attack Americans? That's not!!! Trump deleted the tweet and corrected the spelling, but the Aquaman spinoff Prince of Whales continued to be the number one trend. Prince of WHALES... I'm still laughing. It's especially funny because just hours before, Trump took to Twitter to correct a spelling mistake tweeted by Chris Cuomo's CNN show. Still, stay focused: Trump is only tweeting about the Prince of Whales to distract us from his administration circumventing Congress to sell weapons to Mohammad bin Salmon.

The 100th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Roger will be the guest on the Phile on July 1st when I kick off summer on the Phile. It'll be cool. So,
the British Royal Family exists solely to be talked about, providing the realm with reality TV centuries before television was invented. The British tabloids are a combination of access journalism and racist fanfiction, and gossip rags on both sides of the Atlantic love to make shit up about the House of Windsor. Here is another crazy rumor they blessed up with during the month of May.

Rumor: Baby Archie's nursery is decorated with eucalyptus-infused vegan paint.

When the eucalyptus hits. Vanity Fair's royal correspondent Katie Nicholl reported that the nursery at Frogmore cottage not only has a gender-neutral color scheme, but is woke down to its pigments.

Burglarize
What a crook sees with.

Go, Power Rangers, go. Today's guests are three of the original five Power Rangers from the 90s TV show "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers." Please welcome to he Phile... Austin St. John, Walter Jones and Amy Jo Johnson!

Me: Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile. How are you all?

Austin: Hey, dude.

Walter: Hey, man.

Amy Jo: Hi, Jason.

Me: So, I'm sure none of you kids thought the show would last when you started. Amy Jo, when you took the role what did you think?

Amy Jo: I had no idea. It was non-union, it was called "Dino Rangers," it was my first job and it was a kids show. I had no idea it would blow up the way it did. We shot the pilot in September then the following year when it aired that September, so that while year when we were shooting episodes we had no idea that in September it was going to be this huge kids show. It was a bit much. I don't think Haim Sabam knew, or maybe he kinda knew.

Me: So, Austin, you played Jason, the Red Ranger. Great name. Haha. Before you were in Power Rangers you were doing martial arts, am I right?

Austin: Well, when I started martial arts when I was 5-years-old was judo. My dad was a Marine and sometimes we would've as often as 9 months or 6 months so I was the only 5-year-old in my Judo class. The next youngest kids were 11, so I learned how to fight with everyone bigger than me.

Me: Was Judo the only martial arts you did?

Austin: No, it became my preference but after that it was Aikido, Chinese kick boxing, Taido, Taekwondo, and the list goes on. Taekwondo is what probably got me the job on "Power Rangers." 

Me: How so?

Austin: All the kicks, They wanted to see all flashy stuff and that's Taekwondo.

Me: So, besides that did you have a normal childhood, watching cartoons and playing with toys, that kinda stuff?

Austin: Voltron, G.I. Joe, Ninja Turtles, that was my jam. That's what I grew up on.

Me: Walter, what were you into as a kid?

Walter: You know what, when I was growing up I was into cartoons of course. But I was into "Land of the Lost," that was a big deal because of dinosaurs and stuff, Popeye the Sailor Man, all the Looney Tunes stuff of course. Woody Woodpecker and that kind of stuff. I also loved the 3 Stooges. Woo woo woo! That was the thing, my parents had to keep us from doing that.

Me: Did you ever put that kinda slapstick stuff to use in "Power Rangers"?

Walter: Yeah, we had Bulk and Skull, they were like our 3 Stooges guys.

Me: Austin, what was your favorite toy as a kid?

Austin: Well, I didn't have a lot when I was a kid. My dad was a Marine, my mom was a cop. I had three favorite toys. One was a Spider-Man car that melted on a floor heater, the other one was I had a G.I. Joe figure and I had a BB gun. Back then kids could have BB guns. Now if you have something with a trigger what's the matter with you? Oh, Jesus.

Me: So, what was your first audition like, Austin?

Austin: They pretty much flat out show us your martial arts. There was a huge group of us, like 10,000 guys showed up. I know for Red Ranger, I'm sure it was for the other Rangers too. It was advertised in the L.A. paper. The show was originally advertised as "The Phantoms" and my characters name was Victor. It's like as "Power Rangers Turn," a soap opera, you know. So many things I can't say. Anyway, it was "how many of you guys know martial arts?" Hands went up and "those of you who didn't raise your hands, there's the door." Like that was the first cut. Right after that they were like great, show us. I remember the roof was like super low and I was like, "Show you what? There's not a lot of room for me to do some crazy stuff in here." They were like, "How much do you need?" I was like, "I could do plenty out here but the good stuff I'm gonna hit the ceiling." I showed them what I could do and I'm pretty saw it's what landed me the role.

Me: Walter, what was it like for you when you become a Power Ranger? Did you do martial arts as well?

Walter: It was a long process. For my particular character they wanted somebody who had the talents of martial arts, gymnastics, dancing and had to be an actor. I had to be multi-talented so the audition process kinda went where they had me come in and read sides then they asked me to dance, then they asked me to do martial arts, then they asked me to do gymnastics, then they said, "Can you put it all together?" I was like, "That's a lot, let me try to figure out how to make that into something." So I ended up having to create my own form of martial arts.

Me: Was dance a thing they wanted all the characters to do?

Walter: No, it was just me, Zack, the Black Ranger. But the thing was at that time hip hop was just becoming more and more prevalent. Hip hop was the thing, everyone was loving it. Hip hop was growing and they were talking about hip hop on TV like there's this new thing called hip hop and is it going to stay or whatever and apparently the kids were eating it up so they wanted somebody to do hip hop. Hip hop was the way so "hiphopkeido" became a martial art.

Me: Amy Jo, what was your audition like? Did you do martial arts?

Amy Jo: No, I was a gymnast. I think really I got the part because I was a gymnast. That's where I met David Yost, and Austin and Walter and all the other Rangers. We were paired off together on the first audition. I think there were eight groups or something like that. And our group won.

Me: I have to say I never really watched the TV show, but my son used to when he was little, but I don't think he watched the show you kids were on. Can you believe the show is still popular?

Austin: I know. Over 25 years now.

Me: Amy Jo, how would you describe the show?

Amy Jo: It was kitschy. Is kitschy the right word. You can kind of see the strings hanging from the monsters.

Me: So, Amy Jo, how come you were the only one with a skirt? How come the Yellow Ranger didn't have a skirt?

Amy Jo: Oh, because it's Japanese footage and that character was a guy in the Japanese show.

Me: There was a movie with you guys in it, right?

Amy Jo: Yeah, but I think when they tried to do the big movie and they took away all the strings and make it all slick and flashy, in the first movie I don't think did so well like the TV show because it was different to what the kids were watching on the TV show.

Me: Walter, did you add something of your personality to your character?

Walter: As an actor we always take what we know and deliver it to a character So fortunately for me I was very much like my character already. I was already an exuberant person, I'm energetic, I've always stood up for the smaller person. Bullies, and I hate guys that want to fight girls. When I grew up any boy that tried to beat up a girl I stepped in. "Hey, why do you have to mess with a girl? You wanna fight somebody, fight me. I'm smaller than you but you're not gonna fight this girl. Be a man." So I was already protective in that way so that was kind of the elements that went with the character Zack.

Me: Did you get into many fights as a kid?

Walter: I did. I was in one fight as a kid over a clubhouse that got kicked over. Other than that I was in altercations where I wax challenged to fight and I'd say to me because I was a martial artist, I took martial arts so I was trained not to hit. I was trained to defend so I'd go hit me, they didn't hit me and I'd say, "You're wasting my time." and I'd walk away. But it didn't make me look like a punk. I'd say hit me and they didn't hit me. "I'm leaving now, I've got no time for you." It was cool.

Me: Austin, what was it like wearing the helmet?

Austin: It was impossible to see out of.

Me: What about for you, Walter?

Walter: It was not easy, Obviously it took away a lot of our proverbial vision. As we were jumping around and sweating, so forth and so on it gets fogged up inside. We had some of that defogger but I'm sure it's much more highly effective these days. That was over 25 years ago, so I don't know if the technology changed since then.

Me: Amy Jo, what was the hardest part for you about being on "Power Rangers"?

Amy Jo: The fact that it was non-union there was more than a handful of times where I was actually a little frightened for my safety. I think some of the stunts and some of te things we were doing wasn't probably as safe as the standards are now. As it has to be.

Me: What is something that happened to you?

Amy Jo: Me and David Yost were in this time machine, trading machine that caught on fire while we were in it. There were a couple of other things. Hanging over a volcano, there was one time when we were swimming in some sort of pool or something some sort of light fell in it that wasn't wasn't waterproof. That was bad.

Me: After "Power Rangers" you were on a show called "Space Cases," am I right, Walter? What was that show like? I don't remember it.

Walter: Ahhh. "Space Cases." It was very much like "Lost in Space." It's like "Lost in Space" meets "Star Trek." We are "Star Trek" but we're lost. And we were kids, so the concept was we're a bunch of kids, space kids, aliens and I was the only earthling and we go aboard a ship which is an alien vessel and it logs us on as the crew and the captain and the teacher come on and are logged on as the passengers and we got lost in space and we're trying to find our way back. We have to run the ship because the ship only knows us as the crew. It was a lot of fun, it was a cute show.

Me: How did the show do?

Walter: "Space Cases" was the Number 2 show on Nickelodeon. "Keenan and Kel" was the Number 1 show, and our budget was three or four times more than "Keenan and Kel." We had CGI, there was no kids show on TV with CGI.

Me: Amy Jo, what did you do when you left the show?

Amy Jo: It actually made in my head at an early age early in my career... how much do I really want this? The whole fame thing sort of freaks me out. It's a weird unnatural sort of existence.

Me: You moved away from Hollywood after the show, right?

Amy Jo: I moved to Montreal in 2005. I thought I was quitting and then I got "Flashpoint" and I did "Flashpoint" for five seasons. Now I transitioned into filmmaking, which I really truly love.

Me: Why is that?

Amy Jo: I think it's because I'm behind the camera it's much more fitting for me. I get to play more and I get to be more creative. I love it.

Me: You wrote, directed, produced and starred in a movie called The Space Between, right? What is it about?

Amy Jo: It's heartfelt comedy, and a road trip movie. And I'm really proud of it.

Me: Who is in the movie?

Amy Jo: Michael Cram is in it, a couple of other people from the "Flashpoint" show I was on. David Paetkau's in it, and also Kristian Bruun who was in "Orphan Black" and Jayne Eastwood, a Canadian icon, she's an amazing actress. And Michael Ironside. It's a really good cast and the movie is really fun. And I'm in it to.

Me: When you left the show, Austin, what did you do?

Austin: I left the show and went on with a whole another career. I became a paramedic.

Me: And didn't you go overseas?

Austin: Yeah, I was four years overseas for the war.

Me: So, how did you get to do comic book conventions and stuff?

Austin: I didn't realize people still cared. I was on the Iraqi/Kuwait border when Walter called me up and I just got back to the base and actually had cell coverage and he tracked me down through my mom, because he was my boy for 25 years. He tells me about this thing called Comic Con. I'm like is this a Boy George joke? Like Comiccon-cameleon?

Me: Walter, what did you say to him?

Walter: I said, "No, dude, people come out of the woodwork all around the world. You should come back. Everybody's asking where the O.G. is."

Me: What's the O.G.?

Austin: That's what I said. The what?

Walter: The O.G. We're called the originals now.

Austin: I was like how many have their been? And he said, "Dude, like a hundred or more, I don't even know." I was stunned. Like the show was still going on, I didn't even know it. So I retired, I was tired of getting blown up anyway and I came back here. Now I'm producing and working on all kinda stuff.

Me: When you were overseas did many people know you were the Red Ranger over there?

Austin: I kept it pretty quiet. I had a huge beard and there were times I shaved my head. I wasn't over there to be famous. In fact when I left the show I never talked about it. My wife, she knew when we met and we just never talked about it. Look, I've been a bartender, I've mowed lawns, I did a newspaper route when I was a kid, I was a Power Ranger. I did my job. As much as I loved the notoriety I never felt special. I'm not like a lot of these guys. I don't walk around and ask, "Where's my latte?" At conventions I'm like, "Hey, I gotta take a dump, where's the bathroom?" I don't have a problem with that. It's what we do. "Well, do you need us to take you to the restroom?" "Nope. I've been peeing by myself since I was four. I got this. I'm good." I love the notoriety and the love but I still feel sometimes like I'm just a dude, man. So it feels a bit much from time to time but I still appreciate all the love from three generations now. Damn I'm old.

Me: You're old? Haha. I'm ancient. What do you think of the popularity of the show?

Austin: It blows my mind. All day long no matter where I am in the world. Even when I've got translators, German or whatever people just go on and on. It wasn't just a TV show for people. It touched a lot of people's lives. I didn't understand that early on. We were big brother figures, or sister figures, or father figures or just a show a little kid could go watch it because his parents beat him all the time. He was like this is my 35 minutes of happiness. The craziest stories I've ever heard are mind-blowing. It's brought me back to the business. I love it.

Walter: I'm not an 80s kids, but I look like one.

Me: Walter, I don't think you aged. Did you?

Walter: I did. I just don't tell anybody.

Me: Walter, can you believe it's over 25 years since the show started?

Walter: You know what, man, that is insane. It's a quarter of a century. But what's cool is we have our own official day now. We have Power Rangers Day, August 18th.

Me: That's cool. What do you guys do for that?

Walter: Nothing. Last year was the first year they gave it to us. This year we have to make something happen.

Me: What do you think about being on the show back then, Amy Jo? What's something positive about it?

Amy Jo: Looking back at the friendships that I made. Davis Yost feels like he's family now, and Jason David Frank, and just the friendships that I made at that time who are still in my life now. Probably what I take is the best part of the show for me.

Me: So, what did you think of your cast mates, Austin?

Austin: Walter, one of the first black super heroes. All day long people walk up to him and say, "You were the first of our kind." Or "a positive black role model for me and my family." They just love him. The same with Karan and Johnny Bosch with the Asian community. We just see so much with the love and appreciation for all of it and whether it was black, Asian, white, pink, whatever, we just touched on all these communities. They told us the ratings were insane but we weren't at everybody's house watching these people. So hearing it 25 years later, talk about job satisfaction. Everywhere in the world and I get nothing but love. Whether I was a favorite or not, people go, "Well, I like the yellow one." That's okay. We're all on the same team, man. It doesn't have to be me, I'm just glad you loved it.

Me: Amy Jo, this was your first role. Were you overwhelmed it was so big and so popular?

Amy Jo: Yeah, it actually scared the hell out of me. It really freighted me. In September we did the Universal Amphitheater shows, I remember pulling up on a bus with all of us and it was so packed that they had to do about four shows in one day. It was like a 7000 seat theater. We did the live shows that day and I went home and had these crazy nightmares. I was so overwhelmed. I didn't quite like the feeling of all these people knowing me and I don't know them.

Me: Kids, thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope you all will come back again, and maybe the other's will join.

Austin: Thank you, brother.

Walter: My pleasure, brother. All the best to you.

Amy Jo: Awesome, Thank you.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Austin, Walter and Amy Jo. Hope you Power Rangers fans dug it. The Phile will be back tomorrow from Walt Disney World with Sean Marshall, who played Pete in the 1977 Disney movie Pete's Dragon. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon