Thursday, September 13, 2018

Pheaturing Michael Schenker From Michael Schenker Fest


Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday. How are you? So, one woman's YouTube prank is another woman's trauma. But truly, the lines between good-humored pranking and cruelty have become increasingly blurred in the age of YouTube prank channels, and the Internet is constantly bickering over this fact. One of the latest prank trends to sweep the net and cause heated discourse was inspired by a scene in the Netflix show "Magic For Humans," (which is one of my favorite shows. Watch it, kids) where the magician host Justin Willman convinced an adult stranger that he was invisible. Inspired by this scene, the YouTuber David Dobrik pulled a similar prank on his friend's younger brother. Basically, he told the child he'd become invisible after being temporarily covered with a sheet, and the poor kid proceeded to freak out. The video has since inspired others to trick younger siblings into thinking they're invisible. One of the videos recently posted on Twitter shows a family tricking an 11-year-old she's invisible, and she has a full-on meltdown. Seeing children's confusion being used as a punchline naturally sparked a discussion between people who think the game is harmless fun, and those who think it's psychologically damaging. Detractors were quick to point out the difference between tricking an adult they're invisible and tricking a child who doesn't yet have the full abilities to emotionally process this type of joke. Those defending the prank claim it's all good fun, it only lasts a few minutes before the family hugs the child, and being teased is an inevitable symptom of childhood. I watched the video and thought it was funny... just saying.
What do you think... is this prank just another harmless way to have fun with family, or is it a potentially traumatizing activity?
Someone made fun of Julia Roberts on Instagram. Big mistake. Huge. You don't win an Oscar by fearing a pressure-filled gander in the spotlight. So, when a commenter came for Julia Roberts on Instagram, the actress wasted no time correcting their shade with some facts. Nonetheless, one commenter was not so impressed and proceed to proudly posted her disapproval of Roberts' outfit. Rather than sit there and accept the disparaging comparison, Roberts swooped in with a thorough correction of the commenter's assessment.


But really, all of us should know better than to smear the name of Roberts, she has gumption where it counts.
Eric Trump and his gross new beard were on "Fox and Friends" yesterday morning, and what is likely an attempt to get his father to love him, he sounded off an anti-Semitic dog whistle. That's right, my Jewish friends. Happy Rosh Hashanah! Eric joined the Trump Family Good Time Happy Hour to attack Daddy's enemies: anyone who's a Democrat and journalist Bob Woodward. On Democrats, he said that they do not have a winning message for November's midterm elections other than protecting the first amendment, funding vital social programs, and respecting the environment. On Bob Woodward (you know, of Woodward and Bernstein), he accused him of writing a book about the White House just "to make 3 extra shekels." "Shekels," as in Israeli currency... and what 4channers and trolls say is what Jews use to control the media. Note: how dumb do you have to be to think that Woodward is the Jewish one and not BERNSTEIN!?!?! Eric said that Woodward wrote the book to make "three extra shekels at the behest of the American people," which is both anti-Semitic and anti-semantic. What do you think "behest" means, my dude? People proceeded to accuse the white supremacist of being a white supremacist. Look no further than white supremacist message boards to see how the particular language was received...


Eric Trump is at worst an anti-Semite, and at best, just a total idiot. Either way, he's his father's son.
The clothing brands Revolve and LPA made a truly WTF choice when they put Instagram trolls' fat-shaming comments on sweatshirts... and then put those sweatshirts on thin models. One sweatshirt found on the site read, "Being fat isn't beautiful. It's an excuse." Check it out...


Shoppers were shocked by its presence on the site... and its $168 price tag. Before long, the people involved with the shirt's creation explained what happened... the sweatshirts were part of an anti-cyberbullying campaign, according to Fashionista. The campaign featured a line of sweatshirts emblazoned with cruel Instagram comments selected by the major influencers who'd received them. The brand LCA created the sweatshirts and planned on rolling out the campaign today, but Revolve posted the photos early... and it was allegedly Revolve's decision to put the sweatshirt on a straight-size model on its site. Revolve pulled the sweatshirt from its site and released a statement. LPA made a statement as well. Still, people aren't convinced that the sweatshirts were a great idea even if the rollout had gone as planned.
Serena Williams played her U.S. Open Final match over the weekend, and it was an action-packed event. When Williams was handed three violations in the second set of her loss to Naomi Osaka, she got into an argument with the umpire, Carlos Ramos. Williams claimed that Ramos was enacting a double standard, and she would not have received all three violations if she was a man. The argument escalated and Ramos ended up penalizing her a point before handing Williams a $17,000 fine for the violations. The cartoonist Mark Knight made a creepy caricature of Williams throwing a tantrum, and Twitter was understandably not accepting this condescending interpretation of a legend's match.


At no point in the match did Williams throw down her racket and jump on it, and even if she had, countless (male) tennis players have done this before with no backlash. Others noted just how racist his depiction of Williams appeared visually. To (somehow) make matters even grosser, he also drew Osaka as a white woman with blonde hair, when she obviously is not in real life. So, this illustration involved a hefty dose of racism towards both women, with Williams... it was in the cringe inducing racialized caricature, and with Osaka, through white washing. Knight defended himself by posting a recent unflattering illustration of the male tennis player Nick Kyrgios.


While the illustration of Kyrgios certainly isn't flattering, it doesn't tick the same level of infantilizing as his drawing of Williams, not to mention the overt racism which couldn't equally be doled out to a white Australian tennis player.
Alright, are you a petty person? Don't act like you're above it. We've all indulged in pettiness from time to time, like reveling in a nemesis's misfortune or subtly undermining someone you can't stand. I wonder of you were as petty as this person though...


Oh, boy. Be a little petty today. You deserve it. So, remember Eleven from "Stranger Things?" This is her now...


Feel old yet? I think some people like to go out and protest just for the sake of protesting...


Ha! Me too. If I had a TARDIS I would like to go back in time and meet Joan Jett in the 70s. But knowing my luck the she's be surrounded by the guys from Cheap Trick...


Damn it. Alright, so, I'm told at Walmart I'll see some odd sights. I didn't believe it until I saw this...


Hahahaha. Hey, did you see the new Nike ad? If not I have it here...


I was thinking the other day, you know who would do a better job as president than Trump? A fucking penguin.


Hahaha. So, I don't know if you know this but there's a hurricane hitting the Carolina's. I hope you people are safe. Anyway, there's a Facebook group I am kinda worried about...


Nooo! Where would I live? Alright, here's another cheap thing to help you stay cool during the hottest damn summer ever. Stay safe and cool with this Bladeless Misting Fan...



Do you know how many people are killed every year due to fan blades? Probably millions. So, you can stay cool without the threat of losing a finder with this bladeless mister. Grab one on Amazon for just $14. Alright, it's Thursday, people, you know what that means, right? It's...



Ack! Oh, man. I'm gonna have nightmares. I hope you're not eating lunch. Shit. Okay, as it's Thursday all through football season I have my friend Jeff on here to talk football. So, once again it's time for...



Me: Hey, Jeff, welcome back to the Phile for week 2. How are you?

Jeff: Always good to be back on the Phile. I'm doing alright, how about you?

Me: Meh. What's the latest NFL news from the first week?

Jeff: I heard an interesting stat from last week. Seven teams switched coaches in the offseason. Those seven teams went 0-7 in week one. Aaron Rodgers got hurt in the first half against the Bears and 1000s of fantasy football owners panicked that their season was over! Then Rodgers came back and did his best Brett Favre, throwing three touchdowns in the 4th quarter for a big win for his team. He's already vowed to play next week as well.

Me: So, what team do you think Dez Bryant will end up and what team do you want him to be on? 

Jeff: Dez is an interesting case. His stats are nowhere what they used to be, especially last season. But he's still a good receiver. I could see several teams reaching out to him. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to see him wind up in New England, as if they need anymore weapons on offense.

Me: So, the British are taking over the football teams this year. Look...


Jeff: Honestly? That's not a bad logo. Pretty sure no one wants to be called a Rather Large Man, but yeah. Not sure why he's dressed like the Penguin either.

Me: Hahaha. Okay, how did we did last week? The Giants lost.

Jeff: The Giants did lose. The Steelers didn't win. The Steelers didn't lose. I don't think we came up with a point system for a tie. And we both went 1-1 this week so we're tied after week 1!

Me: Yeah, whoever thought they'd be a tie! Hahaha. Let's do this week's picks... I say Vikings by 6 and Falcons by 3.

Jeff: I'm going Chargers by 7 and Saints by 4. See you next week!

Me: Alright, I will see you here next Thursday. Have a good week.




Hmmm... that's a stupid Mindphuck. If you spot it let me know. Okay, so, I don't know if you heard that Henry Cavill might not be playing Superman in any more of the DCEU movies. Well, a friend of the Phile has something to say about it. It's time for...


LET'S TALK ABOUT IT: "The hardest choices require the strongest wills..." Oh, wrong universe... So I have read a few things about all this and I have to say if Henry did in fact leave this role then he would be not only saving his lovely career with opening up better opportunities for the future but also saving this franchise from another train wreck from DC. See DC whether you can admit this or not has been struggling FOR YEARS with not just Superman but with DC as a whole. They continuously rush their movies to try to be the next damn Marvel and forgot to put some sugar in the lemonade first before serving it to people. Henry was a great face for Superman but he didn't seem the type of guy to stay long in the role nor does he seem to have the love for it either. Besides, the time he did show up in the films his character wasn't getting any better as well die to piss pour writing. Superman was starting to look like a joke which in turn makes Henry look like a joke... So why not leave or cut him. This shows me though that DC is about to go through some changes and thank god! Maybe we can now talk about rebooting this crap basket filled franchise and start fresh while using the same pieces to the puzzle while changing some ingredients with it. I hear they want to focus with Supergirl and that isn't a bad move at all if you ask me. We have had nothing BUT Superman in on the big screen and he isn't helping the franchise in the slightest. Hopefully this means we can expect bigger changes to come along with this welcoming earthquake of chaos! Who should be the next Superman though? I think it's so early to even be talking about it but I hear Micheal B. Jordan is on the list as a candidate and though I love him... This ISN'T like James Bond where you can just throw a different gender or race into the mix because it's just a code name. Superman has always looked a certain way and so far they have kept to that trend VERY well. Unless they plan on killing Kal and making a HARD reboot with him being Superboy first THEN grow him to be the new Superman then that's great. I will back that 100% but Micheal can't be Kal. All in all this is great. Henry is going to find work just fine (I mean the guy is about to be Geralt from The Witcher so he'll be fiiiiine), this allows DC to finally be creative and spice things up a bit, and hopefully fans of DCEU can finally wake up and smell the roses on Bruce's mom and dad's grave for once! If Henry DID walk away then that means A LOT and changes needs to happen soon and they will. Back to you, Jason...



Thanks, Cadence. Tuesday marked the 17th anniversary of September 11th, a day when nearly 3,000 people died and 6,000 were injured following a terror attack on the World Trade Center. Most people, even if not personally affected, are able to conjure some semblance of empathy for those mourning loved ones. Unsurprisingly, this ability to display basic levels of human empathy and tact doesn't apply to our president, who was photographed fist bumping while walking to the Flight 93 September 11 Memorial Service.


This tone deaf photo truly captures so much of what is wrong with Trump. Having Trump as president feels like having an abusive stepdad who ruins every function with his ineptitude, except 1000 times worse because his ineptitude is steering one of the most powerful nations in the world. Melania's shady side-eye truly sums up how many of us feel about Trump. He really does have the stance of a club DJ ready to rev a crowd up before a night of EDM. "I say 9! You say 11! 9!" Many of us are actively clenching our buttholes in anticipation for all of the horribly narcissistic quotes he'll launch off with today. Once more, can we just reflect upon the fact that this facial expression shouldn't exist on the president, no matter what?! I need a shot of whiskey and a nap until 2020, possibly 2024 depending on how things pan out.



Psycho, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Silence of the Lambs, and "American Horror Story" all have characters that wee based on serial killer Ed Gein, who was so devastated by his mother's death that he began to make "a woman suit" so he could "come get and literally crawl into her skin."



The 87th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


Ben Watt will be the guest on the Phile in a few weeks. Now for some...


Phact 1. Glaciers are home to Ice Worms and the worms can melt if heated to 40F.

Phact 2. In 2011, MythBusters fired a cannonball at a bomb disposal range. The projectile was supposed to hit some rather large trash cans filled with water. Instead, it missed the trash cans, tore through a cinder-block wall, bounced its merry way down a hillside, barreled 700 yards through a suburban California neighborhood, smashed through the front door of a house, bounced up the stairs of the house and, without knocking, penetrated a bedroom door where a man, woman, and child were sleeping.

Phact 3. If a song has close to 60 beats per minute and people start to breathe in time with the music it starts to slow their heart rate and make people feel more relaxed

Phact 4. The most expensive single food ingredient sold was a 3.3lb white truffle, a subterranean mushroom that sold for $330,000.

Phact 5. American Mobster, John Gotti’s neighbor accidentally ran over and killed Gotti’s son. He was abducted three months later and never heard from again.



Today's pheatured guest is a German rock guitarist who has played in UFO and led the Michael Schenker Group and his new group Michael Schenker Fest whose album "Resurrection" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile legendary guitar player... Michael Schenker.


Me: Michael, hi there, welcome to the Phile. How are you, sir?

Michael: I am doing good. How are you?

Me: Not bad. On your new album "Resurrection" you have a bunch of singers. What was it like going into the studio with all these guys, Michael?

Michael: First of all I go into the studio and put down my music, and then it's like a procedure.

Me: Ummm... okay. So, on the song "Warrior" you have all the guys singing. Did you write it knowing there'll be four guys singing it?

Michael: "Warrior" was the first song I put on the table. I always wanted one, two or three songs with everybody singing together rather than three songs each. They could be clinical. When I first came up with that great melody and lyrics for the song for the second one which became "Warrior" I was so happy. I said, "Michael, this is fantastic. This is fantastic for all the singers to sing." So basically we were at that point we were altogether in Germany and we went into a recording studio and that's where we did the video footage and recording for "Warrior" and basically completed it there amongst some other songs.

Me: Where was the album recorded, Michael? Germany?

Michael: Most of the songs were recorded in Michael Voss-Schoen's cottage studio. So basically we had a variety of ways recording. Like we finished "Warrior" and some other stuff in Stuttgart in the studio. We did most of Doogie's vocals there, we did Gary Barden's vocals there, Gary and Doogie doing backing vocals, and myself. We did a bunch of combinations, swapping people around and stuff. It became especially a colorful experience and then of course the stuff we didn't complete on my guitars in Michael's studio in Brussels, and then there was a few things that were not completed. One was Kirk Hammett's guitar jam, and a couple of vocals of Robin and Graham who lived in Los Angeles so Michael went to Los Angeles and completed that over there. Kirk Hammett wanted to record in Hawaii in his own studio so his management paid for Michael to fly over there. Michael looked like a 19-year-old teenager with a big smile he couldn't believe it.

Me: So, is everything you wanted to do on this album, Michael?

Michael: We had some very other ideas that didn't work out but I always said "no guest no fest." We managed to have one guest which was Kirk. We wanted to the guys from Apocalyptica, we had this intro and they wanted to do it but we were so focused making this album, putting it out together we were like, "Ow! What about the guys from Apocalyptica?" We were already over the hills and far away. Dee Snyder was another possibility. He was never told by his manager but I bumped into him at the awards in England and he said he would of been so honored to be part of it. I had this part for him to sing, it sound so much like him he would of been perfect. Maybe next time.

Me: So, what do you think off the album how it turned out?

Michael: It's very colorful, the recording, it's not getting boring, believe me. It comes in all sizes and it comes in all sorts of ways. It was everybody come here and do it. We took it as it came with availability, as people were available.

Me: Everybody on it lives all over the world, right?

Michael: Gary lives in Bangkok, the other two in Los Angeles, the rhyme section lives in Scotland, Doogie lives in Scotland, Steve lives in Hanover, so we had to do a bit of juggling. It all worked out, it was a lot of work, but it was a lot more fun than work.

Me: I think it's cool that you have all these guys from your other bands throughout your career. Your fans must love this shit.

Michael: Yeah, it must be extremely entertaining for the hard core fans. They'll go, "This is Doogie, this is Graham." There's an additional entertainment factor that is a part of it because it's not an usual album. I don't think it exists on this planet to have a rock band have all their original singers on one record.

Me: When you write the songs for this album, or the past albums, do you just write the guitar parts and let the singers do what they wanna do, sing how they wanna sing?

Michael: Yeah. I've have always done that. I have done that since the UFO days, since I started writing. I write the music and let the singers do their thing. I let them write their own lyrics so they can stand behind what they're singing for a start. I did the melody for "Time Knows When It's Time," that's the song I wanted Dee Snyder to sing the chorus. I just focus on the music. Basically the point is I know what I want, I structure the song, I'm the architect of the music and I structure it such a way, I put drums down, and bass, keyboards and stuff so everybody knows where the journey goes to.

Me: Some of my readers don't know that you were in the Scorpions and UFO, like you mentioned. Do you prefer to be in your own band than these other bands?

Michael: Yes. I don't believe in too many cooks, that's why I formed my one band. I wanted to do the things I had in my veins, music that needed to come out and experiment with and stuff like that. That was my middle years, but now having done all my experimental's, getting it out of my system basically to continue my stuff when I was 23-years-old in 1978 when I finished "Strangers in the Night." I was able to experience success in the highest fame so I was able to make a sad decision for myself to if I wanted to stay up there or if that was enough. I know what it was. There was nothing there I need, I don't miss any of that.

Me: You then formed the Michael Schenket Group first, right?

Michael: I carried on a second chapter and experimented with music with MSG. Then of course in the 90s I completely disappeared in the recoding studio and didn't have to do any interviews.

Me: You have been on so many albums though I think, am I right?

Michael: If someone told me I'd be on 80 albums. I had my fair share and my system cleansed.

Me: What was your favorite period of your career, Michael?

Michael: Well, the most rewarding years were my middle years. I learnt the most of life in my middle years. That made it possible for me even to kick the stage freight. In 2008 I had the urge to be on stage. I took that as a sign and from there there was no looking back. The main thing is this is celebration time, think of this as the most popular music of Michael Schenker, of all my music, and I wanted it do be done with all my original singers.

Me: Was this album your masterplan, Michael? Haha.

Michael: It wasn't my masterplan, it was just an idea and it just worked out.

Me: Okay, so, who decided who was going to sing what? You or producer Michael or the singers? 

Michael: We co-produced the album and basically I put the structure down and Michael knew what I want. I told him I didn't want them to sing three songs each and that was it. I wanted three songs where everybody sings together. And "Warrior," when I put that song on the table the next day Michael said to me he had the melody and the lyrics. I was like, "Thanks, Michael, this is fantastic." 

Me: What is Michael Voss-Schoen like to work with? Sounds lime you two work well together. 

Michael: Michael is a Michael Schenker fan, an MSG fan, a Gary Barden fan, and 80s fan, Graham Bonnett fan, so he's the best guy for the job. He had it done, I don't know. That's why I worked with him for the last ten years, because he understands what I'm doing. When I say something he knows exactly what I'm talking about. He was the best man for the job. He knows the psychology of each person, maybe that's why it worked out so well. He secretly was writing under the table because I said to him I wanted at least three songs where everybody is singing together, so I think that was the basic when he was secretly writing melodies. He was like, "I got something here." He wrote "The Last Supper," and that became something similar and somehow he worked out the lines for the different singers, what is perfect for them.

Me: Michael, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back when your next CD comes out, sir. Take care.

Michael: Thanks. Thank you so much. I have another new album out so I'll be back soon.





That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz, Cadence Hall and of course Michael Schenker. The Phile will be back on Monday with Dave Goddess from Dave Goddess Group. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.































Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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