How're you doing? Today is Groundhog Day. It may not mean much to you as a holiday but for President Bush it means a month off at the ranch. How many of you saw President Bush's State Of The Union address the other night? It was interrupted 72 times by applause and 30 times by subpoena's. I was watching the State Of The Union address and honestly I'm not sure what the President said. By half way through Logan, my son, stepped on the remote and the next thing I knew the whole thing was in Spanish. Well, here's an interesting story from South America. A guy in Columbia was trying to cure his nephew of hiccups and he actually shot him to death. Shot the kid to death with a revolver. And technically it worked. Here's a sad story from the world of enertainment. Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi and Heather Locklear are getting a divorce. They've been together for eleven years, and now are going their seperate ways. My wifeJen and I are happy though. She can be his rebound and I can be Heather's. Anyway, when asked why she wants to divorce Richie, Heather said "because he gives love a bad name". And when Richie was asked about it he said, "It's my life." Oh, well, hope they have a nice day.
CANNED LAUGHTER
While touring an Indian reservation in North Dakota filming a documentary, Barbara Walters was puzzled as to why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses. So, she asked a brave who only had one feather in his headdress. His reply was: "Only have one woman. One woman, one feather." Feeling the first fellow was only joking she asked another brave. This brave had two feathers in his headdress. And he replied: "Me have two women. Two women, two feathers." Still not convinced the feathers indicated the number of sexual partners involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to say,
amused Ms.Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?" The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said: "Me Chief, me sleep with 'em all. Big, small, fat and tall, me sleep with 'em all." Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be hung." The Chief said: "You damn right, me hung, big like buffalo, long like snake" Ms. Walters cried, "You don't have to be so hostile" The Chief replied: "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style.. ... me sleep with 'em all." With tears in her eyes, Ms. Walters cried, "Oh dear." The Chief said: "No deer.. Ass too high, run too fast.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? A: Never enough.
WHEN YOU'RE A CELEBRITY, ADIOS REALITY
If anybody remembers my old blog, I love reality shows. The new season of Survivor started tonight and The Amazing Race starts at the end of the month. So, in the Phile iI will keep you updated on those two shows. This one is about Survivor. Although we’ve seen the exact same locations in two previous editions of the show, the game has changed for this season. Besides the initial tribal split, which for the first time divides the castaways into four groups of four, there’s also Exile Island, where one person will be banished each week. But on that island, they’ll be able to hunt for an immunity idol, which will give the idol holder crazy amounts of power. Together, those two twists have the potential to really change the game for the first time in its 12-season history. Although the show has aired 11 seasons in less than six years, its still the most popular reality show besides American Idol.
ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH
EVEN MORE TRIVIA: Many actors believe peacock feathers, or even mentioning peacocks, is bad luck. Because of their racing metabolisms, hummingbirds are always two hours away from starvation. Buttered popcorn sells twice as well as plain popcorn at movie theaters. A "quinquagenarian" is someone in their fifties. The largest diamond that was ever found was 3,106 carats. Queen Ranavalona of Madagasgar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams. The wheelbarrow was invented by the Chinese. The first president to have a picture taken was John Quincy Adams. Antarctica is a desert. The average yearly total precipitation is about two inches. The word "sneaker" was coined by Henry McKinney, an advertising agent for N.W. Ayer & Son. In 1968, a lightning storm in Lapleau, France, killed all of the black sheep in a flock and left the white sheep unharmed.
I COME FROM A NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS: Every now and then I will bring you news from England, my home country.
RANDY BRITS CAUSE $600 MILLION IN SEX DAMAGE A YEAR
(England) - A third of couples in Great Britain broke something during sex last year, and one in 10 made insurance claims after trashing lamps, vases and beds, even pulling down curtains. Forty-one per cent have suffered carpet burns, a third pulled their backs and 12 per cent twisted ankles or wrists. Saucy couples in the South East were the most accident prone, while Yorkshire lovers put in the most claims for damage. Adult store chain Ann Summers commissioned the poll of 2,000 people.
BLIND WOMAN RECOVERS SIGHT AFTER HEART ATTACK
(England, AFP) - A 74-year-old woman who had been blind for 25 years awoke in a British hospital after suffering a heart attack and could see again. The Daily Telegraph newspaper reports she told her husband, "You've got older." Doctors were at a loss to explain how Joyce Urch, who lived in a world of shadows and near darkness since 1979, had recovered her sight after the heart attack 16 months ago. Urch, who was treated at Walgrave Hospital in Coventry, where doctors spent three days battling to save her life, called it a "miracle." Man, I'm so proud to be British.
SVU: SPECIAL VALENTINES UNIT: Valentine's Day is just around a corner, and if your loved one likes SVU as much as mine, then she or he would love these SVU inspired Valentines cards.
FAKE OR FOTO: Okay, here we go with another fake or foto bit. The last entries picture of the diamonds was.....fake. Yep, those diamonds were not real. Sorry. Okay, now for the next picture. Is it fake or foto?
IF CARTOONS WERE REAL PEOPLE:
"Eat these Quaker Oats or I'll shove this spoon up your ass!"
MOVIE BUZZ
And now, for the most popular feature on the Phile, movie buzz.
SCARY MOVIE 4: What's scarier, being trapped in a dungeon with Dr. Phil and Shaq, enduring yet another parody of Tom's couch-jumping, seeing Earth attacked by giant iPods or the fact that I think this trailer is actually pretty funny?
X-MEN 3: THE LAST STAND: Here's the plot of X3 — now officially subtitled The Last Stand — as revealed in the paperback version's synopsis. Yeah, novelizations are a great spoiler source. Just don't get caught with The Han Solo Trilogy on your desk.
CASINO ROYALE: That whole business about Rose Byrne being the next Bond girl? Never mind! Looks as though Thandie Newton's got the gig. Byrne was probably too pixieish to pair up with the grizzled Daniel Craig, whose Bond looks like a homeless guy in a tux.
THE PINK PANTHER: It's time for the Pink Panther game! Here are the rules: Watch these six clips. Then go watch The Jerk to get the bad taste out of your mouth.
UNTITLED LANCE ARMSTRONG BIOPIC: The producer of The Bourne Supremacy wants Matt Damon to star as Lance Armstrong? This violates my first rule of biopics: The subject must be dead.
SPIDER-MAN 3: The first behind-the-scenes pics make it look as though Mary Jane gets her big showbiz break at the Miss America Pageant's talent competition. Either that, or Peter Parker has the lamest fantasies ever.
UNTITLED GEORGE REEVES BIOPIC: Suits didn't like the appropriation of the Man of Steel's motto for Ben Affleck's superbio, so the former Truth, Justice & the American Way is looking for a new title. My suggestion: Affleck's Last Chance.
THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING: Everybody at Sundance freaked out because an allegedly hot Katie Holmes sex scene was mistakenly deleted. But the erotic erasure is actually a good thing: If you see her having sex on-screen, it's just gonna remind you that she's done the deed with Tom Cruise at least once.
And now for the teaser of the week: The Notorious Bettie Page. hottest preview ever
Well, that's it for another entry of the Phile. If you would like, go check out my friend Jeff's blog at http://journals.aol.com/trel67/StoryTimewithJeff/ . Story Time With Jeff is funny, but from Jeff I wouldn't expect an less. He is one funny sonuvabitch. With that said, enjoy the random pic, and until next time...'nuff said.
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