Pheaturing Natalie Portman

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Friday. How are you doing? History has been made as Kataluna Enriquez, a biological male, won the Miss Silver State USA pageant this week and will continue on to compete for Miss Nevada USA pageant. The event is considered the biggest preliminary competition for Miss Nevada USA. KVVU-TV called this a “monumental win” for Enriquez, who will compete for Miss Nevada USA, leading to Miss USA, and eventually the Miss Universe competition. According to the Blaze, “The pageants, collectively run by the Miss Universe Organization, were once owned by former President Donald Trump and are widely recognized for awarding among the most coveted crowns in the pageant world.” Enriquez said the experience was, “a celebration of womanhood and diversity and this celebration of being your true self,” but also explained how she has not been very popular within the pageant world. She explained how at a previous unnamed competition, when the organizers found out she was transgender, she was required to provide medical documents to prove she was in fact female. They also refused to assign her a roommate. She said, “I was asked to provide documents that were invasive in my opinion physically asking me to get a letter from my doctor. It brought me back to a time where I felt like I was not welcome.” But Enriquez refused to let that get in the way of her competing. Instead, she used the experience to help create more “awareness of the transgender community” as a part of her own pageant platform. The message was definitely beneficial for Enriquez in the Miss Silver State USA competition, as transgenderism becomes more widely accepted in avoiding any trace of discrimination. Over the past few years, pageants have started to receive more entries from biological males, as well as criticisms for denying them to participate. In 2018, Angela Ponce, the winner of Miss Universe Spain, is the first openly trans woman contestant to be crowned Miss Spain and was also favored to be crowned Miss Universe. 

Cue the Jaws theme. This great white shark spotting in South Carolina is horrifying… and also pretty awesome to watch. 

Charter boat captain Chip Michalove caught lucky footage footage of multiple sharks chowing down on a dead whale just off the coast of Hilton Head Island. Captain Chip Michalove offers fishing charters in the South Carolina Lowcountry, through a company called Outcast Sport Fishing. He’s also a shark enthusiast. So when Michalove noticed dozens of great white sharks feasting on a dead whale, he was not scared. He was fascinated... and took some gory, gutsy videos of the rare natural moment. Michalove’s videos went viral last week and are now being reported as breaking news. Deservedly so. Michalove told WSAV NOW, “It created some amazing footage and amazing experiences. To see the great white sharks circling this whale was a dream come true. We had sharks pushing the boat, circling the boat, pushing the motors, and they’re all great white sharks. This isn’t Australia, this is right here in South Carolina so it was really amazing.” The whale, which is a North Atlantic Right whale, is an endangered species. This one in particular was discovered dead after getting caught in fishing gear… then floated down from Canada to South Carolina! It’s unbelievable to imagine this natural cycle beginning in the Great White North and ending close to Southern cities like Savannah and Charleston! Chip Michalove has been called a shark whisperer, and has a long history of getting close to the sea animals... even the vicious great whites. On February 4th, 2021, Michalove caught, tagged and released a 12-foot shark. Check out this photo of the big guy coming up on the side of the boat! 

Thanks to Michalove’s tagging, Greg Skomal, a scientist for the Massachusetts Division of Marine Fisheries, can now use that data to study and understand the shark’s behavior. Both Michalove and Skomal hope to help the species remain “sustainable and healthy” according to The Post and Courier. 

In 2017, 17-year-old Grant Berardo wore a t-shirt in support for former President Donald Trump for his yearbook photo for Wall Township High School. The t-shirt read “Trump Make America Great Again,” but when he looked at his yearbook picture, he saw that the logo on his shirt was photoshopped out. However, four years later, the Wall Township School District, is now paying $325,000 to the former New Jersey teacher, Susan Parsons, who claimed she was forced to digitally edit that Donald Trump t-shirt. According to the NJ Advance Media, although the district does not believe they were wrong in the yearbook censorship, the money will be paid by the district’s insurance carrier after the settlement agreement was approved. Parsons, who said she voted for Trump in the 2016 election, said that as the high school’s yearbook adviser, she was ordered by the principal to remove the logo in order to make Berardo look like he was wearing a plain navy blue t-shirt. Parsons claimed that she started to receive death threats, that she was made a scapegoat and suspended with pay after the incident, and that she had regularly expressed that she was forced to edit the photos. She is set to receive $204,000 with the rest of the settlement covering her attorney fees.

An Australian woman had quite the scare when she discovered a massive arachnid in the corner of her bathroom ceiling. Cathy Cox of Perth, Australia, turned to Facebook to figure out what to do next, after discovering a huge female huntsman spider hanging out in her shower. Cox took to social media to consult a spider identification group, something she has done before. 

However, the responses to her Facebook post of the female arachnid were more concerned about her pictures. Cox’s pictures were close-ups of the spider, making it look alarmingly bigger than it actually is. One user said, “It looks like it’s the size of a basketball. I would not touch. He has claimed your shower. You can use the hose to wash now,” and another joked, “I really appreciate that you said she’s about 4 1/2 cm body length, but I was wondering if you could kindly put a tape measure around her belly to measure that too for our edification?” Most of the comments petitioned to move the spider, while also empathetically sharing their stories of finding a huntsman spider in the worst places. They also recommended that she move the spider as quickly as possible before the steam from her shower loosened the spider’s grip on the wall, causing her to fall on whoever would be taking a shower. Cox eventually posted a zoomed-out pic of the spider to accurately size the creature, but it still looks terrifying. Personally, it’s the legs that scare the hell out of me. Those limbs are just way too long, both zoomed in and out of the picture. But the close-up pics? Every aspect of those pictures are incredibly terrifying. The Daily Mail reported that the banded huntsman is one of the largest in Australia. According to the Australian Museum, they do have large fangs that could give a painful bite, but they are not dangerously venomous. They’re also found in crevices on rock walls, in logs, under loose bark on trees and on the ground, and on foliage. All I know is that I definitely don’t want to stumble upon these guys, no matter how adorably timid they might seem. 

Turns out Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks on Alamo Plaza, located in San Antonio, decided to put away a wax figure of former President Donald Trump after visitors took out… let’s say four years worth of frustrations on it. Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks is one of three Ripley’s Believe It or Not attractions in the city, which usually serves as a popular tourist attraction. Fun fact, if you have heard of Madame Tussauds wax museum in London, well Louis is actually her great-grandson. Yup, I had no idea about this, but this is genius. Keep the business in the family, I’m all for it. So, although it is a very popular museum due to all its celebrity and well-known wax figures, one figure has not been shown a lot of love in the past four years. A figure of former President Donald Trump was being displayed at the museum, but unfortunately is now in hiding. Apparently, the dummy of President Trump has suffered damage from both punches and scratches to its face. According to regional manager for the museum owner Ripley Entertainment, Clay Stewart, “When it’s a highly political figure, attacks can be a problem.” He also noted that with limited space they decide which figures they want to display based on how the popularity of the politician, star athlete, or celebrity has stood up over time. Apparently, Trump is now in good company sharing storage space with George Washington, W.C Fields, and 30 other wax figures. This after visitor’s attack on the Trump wax figure increased during the 2020 presidential campaign. The company did try to move Trump to the lobby, where ticket attendants could keep an eye out for attackers and stop them, but people still kept taking their shots at the figure. This isn’t the first time the company has had trouble with presidential wax figures. Stewart stated, “We’ve always had trouble with the presidential section because no matter what president it was... Bush, Obama or Trump... they’ve all had people beat them. The ears were torn off Obama six times. And then Bush’s nose was punched in. People are just aggressive about their political party.” As far as if they will go ahead and patch it up and return it to the display area, well that still remains unknown. But Steward did tell Express-News that it is unlikely that they will bring it back from hiding until the attraction receives a President Joe Biden figure, which is now being sculpted here in Florida. Now, putting all politics aside, you know that President Joe Biden might be getting a few scratches himself too. People are ruthless, and they don’t respect the rules that are supposed to follow. It’s a shame really, but hey that’s Texas for you right? Still, it’s really a shame since a lot of people work really hard to create these wonderful wax figures. It takes time and energy, and now it’s going to go to waste because people can’t respect the rules and keep their hands to themselves.

Do you know what makes me laugh? When people reenact pics from their childhood, like this one...

If you're looking for a graphic design job, you may want to contact whoever employed the people responsible for this design fail. They are most likely hiring.

Will there be blood or not? So, today's guest is Natalie Portman, who has been in so many great movies. Do you remember this movie she was in?

Okay, here's a story from...

Oh, the things young adults do nowadays just for a little fame. I’m sure this guy will regret this later once all the vacation excitement dials down… A spring breaker was caught on video running away from cops, still handcuffed... while getting cheered on by a large crowd of other spring breakers. He must’ve felt super cool (sarcasm, obviously)! In Clearwater, Florida, as spring breakers were partying on the Clearwater beach as usual, Clearwater police were doing their best to minimize the damage that spring break normally brings, especially with the coronavirus pandemic still prevalent. But as police officers arrested 18-year-old Dominic Glass while breaking up a fight, they didn’t realize someone would open the back of a police vehicle to let him out. The second that back door of the police car opened, Glass booked it out of the side of the vehicle, running as fast as he could away from cops, still in handcuffs. The spring break crowds around him started cheering, chasing him with their phones out to capture his short but swift getaway. However, despite his head start, the brief chase ended as law enforcement was able to catch him and put him back where he was. According to TMZ, the kid was charged with escape, disorderly conduct, and resisting an officer without violence. The police department was also able to identify the person who let this kid out in the first place, and his arrest is currently pending. Clearwater Police Chief Dan Slaughter said, “While many of the young adults in the video think this is funny, it has turned what would have been a very minor violation to one that will have severe consequences.” I hope that arrest was worth the fame/clout that this kid got. I’m sure he was excited about all the attention he would get on TikTok, social media, and the rest of the Internet. But what about when everything blows over? It’s the normal trap that young kids fall into, where they think doing something reckless is worth dealing with the consequences. I wonder if this guy is still going to think what he did was cool when he’s older. 

Let's take a live look at Port Jeff to see what is going on.

Looks like a beautiful day there. Okay, a friend of the Phile has something to say about a model named Emily Ratajkowski. This should be interesting. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

So... apparently, this goofball model named Emily Ratajkowski claims to have given birth to a “genderless” child. 

No.... you didn’t. Don’t do that. Your child has either a penis OR a vagina. This isn’t about YOU. You pretentious, attention craving twat. I don’t give a fuck wether your little tit sucker grows up to identify as a boy, a girl.. or a hubcap. At LEAST let them make that choice. By the way, you’re insane... and nobody fucking cares what you think. Now here's Jason's Top Phive List from the home office of Port Jefferson, New York...

Top Phive Lies Parents Tell Their Kids To Make Their Lives Easier

5. My friend tells her kids that her engine won't start until her car hears their seatbelts go click and now I'm curious what other cute lies parents tell.

4. My kids think the Tooth Ferry is allergic to dust and she can't come unless their rooms are super clean.

3. I just wanted five minutes to drink my coffee so I sent may kid in the other room to look for a toy that's in my pocket.

2. Convinced my toddlers there's a game called "Put Daddy to Bed" where she pretends to put me to bed and I sleep. That's probably my proudest accomplishment as a parent.

And the number one lie a parent tells their kid to make their lives easier is...

1. My kids wouldn't eat Brussel sprouts however, they cleared the plates of baby cabbages. 

This is so cool! Today's pheatured guest is an Israeli-born American actress, director and producer. Prolific in film since a teenager, she has starred in blockbusters and also played psychologically troubled women in independent films, for which she has received various accolades, including an Academy Award and two Golden Globe Awards. Her book Natalie Portman's Fables is the 147th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Please welcome to the Phile... Natalie Portman!

Me: Hello, Natalie, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Natalie: I am good, Jason. Thank you. 

Me: So, your book Natalie Portman's Fables is the 147th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. So, tell the readers what the fables are. 

Natalie: I retell 3 classic kids tales... The Tortoise and the Hare, The Three Little Pigs, and Country Mouse and City Mouse with some twists that update them to our world. 

Me: What do you mean? 

Natalie: Specifically the gender make up of the world. 

Me: So, what was missing from the original books? 

Natalie: I was reading to my kids, and I'm lucky to have a boy and a girl and the books that were targeted to them were so different. I noticed something subtle but unmistakable: the books that were targeted to their genders were different. The books aimed at her son were what she calls "normal books," and didn't feel particularly gender-focused. The books aimed at girls, however, were what she calls "feminist books"... ones that offered messages of empowerment to girls. I thought, "Why aren't the boys getting exposed to this? It should be as much for them as for the girls." Then it started becoming clear to me that these kind of "normal" books that I thought were just general population books had largely male characters. And I started changing the genders in those classic books so it would feel a little bit more like the real world. Disappointed that most of the books I loved as a child mostly focused on male characters, I set out to write my own updated... and more representative... versions of classic tales. 

Me: Do you think boys don't lean empathy when they read books that are all "male"? 

Natalie: I think it's a really beautiful aspect of storytelling. Many kids books help to cultivate empathy because kids get to cry along with the characters sorrows, feel joy for their victories, experience fear when they do, and laugh along with them. When most of those characters are boys, however, they learn to empathize primarily with the male characters. What happens to both boys and girls, when they are mainly practicing getting into the male heart and mind, they're not thinking about how females think and feel. It felt to me what if we took a regular story that we all love the values that have been passed down from generation to generation but simply make a shift where it feels like the real world. 

Me: So, what does it say about how should we raise boys beyond this issue? 

Natalie: I talk about it all the time with my friends who are boy moms. I guess boy moms is the counter point of girl dads. We are so focused on creating a different kind of male fo the next generation and I think so much had happened largely led my the great men too, great fathers too, how to model different kind of men than the ones that have taken part in getting women pregnant. Its been wonderful to talk about how to inspire empathy. What happens to both boys and girls, when they are mainly practicing getting into the male heart and mind, they're not thinking about how females think and feel. Women are conditioned to constantly consider how people will react if they do or say certain things and having more equal representation in kids books can help boys learn to do the same. If boys go through the world thinking how a girl might feel... "How might she react if I do this? How might she feel if I say this?"... they're practicing that train of thought, which girls are always socialized to do. To think how our actions might affect someone else is the basis of being human, and from a young age to think about girls and women in the same way as they think about boys and men... trying to imagine their hearts and minds... is for me a core part of empathy. 

Me: How did reading to you own kids help you approach to write your own kids book? 

Natalie: That's such a great question. I think I knew the ones that I liked reading were the ones I laughed. I think they were fun to read so I wanted to write it in rhyme. I knew that my kids responded well to things about poo and farts and bodily functions. LOL. So I wanted to make sure I had at least some things like that in there, those kinds of things that would make them laugh. And I know with my little one especially she really likes choosing, we had a lot of short story and anthology books and she really likes choosing which one is first and that was rally big fo me, really wanting a table of contents when there's only 3 stories but when we lay down to eat at night she wants to be in chargeof pointing to the picture and choosing which story we are going to read. 

Me: So, what was it like reading this book for the first time? 

Natalie: It was so exciting and thrilling to read to them for the first time. I read it when it was still on my computer. 

Me: Why is that? 

Natalie: Because I was writing it and testing it out on them what they liked and didn't like. I started when there were no illustrations. It was so incredible and they were super excited that their names were in the beginning and the book was for them. Of course testing it out on them when they were into it so I could modify the writing. And then of course when the illustrations came, it was just this extra level of enthusiasm. Janna Mattia's illustrations are so extraordinary and the kids responded to them so much. They loved all the little secret jokes she hides in the pictures. 

Me: Natalie, you are known for your hugely successful film roles... in Cold Mountain, Closer, V for Vendetta, the Star Wars franchise prequels, the Oscar-nominated biopic Jackie and the upcoming Thor: Love and Thunder, to name a few. Do your kids think you are incredibly cool? 

Natalie: Well, it's definitely a big why I make these kind of movies because the big ones are the ones that score me points with my own kids. They definitely get excited when they come to visit set and then of course see the movies one day. They see their mom more than the one who cleans up after them. 

Me: They have not seen the movies? You were in Star Wars for crying out loud! 

Natalie: LOL. No, they have not seen my movies. I think the coolest is my son who was allowed to watch when I did "Saturday Night Live" the last time. 

Me: Is that an intentional choice fo them not having seen you films? 

Natalie: No, it has been very hard. First of all it's very deceiving for them to see me as another character at a certain age. Also some of the films are very scary or not age appropriate or something bad happens to me, so we don't want to make it scary. 

Me: Hmmm. What about the ones that are more appropriate like Thor? 

Natalie: No, because I have a boyfriend who isn't daddy, which could be confusing. I think there's a certain level of maturity that they are not quite ready for yet. 

Me: So, I guess it's extra cool that they have this book then, right? 

Natalie: Thank you. That's not even the big part of it. The children's book provides an important artistic message. If my kid had to think, "What does my mom want me to know and value in this world?" Here is a document of it in an entertaining form. That paying attention, taking things slowly and being attentive is an expression of love, and an expression of the appreciation of life. And then for The Three Little Pigs, that our environment must be attended to and focused on and thought through carefully. And then for Country Mouse and City Mouse, that true friendship is someone who cares about you deeply, not about any superficial things. 

Me: Didn't you start acting at a young age, Natalie? 

Natalie: Yeah, I was 12 when I made The Professional. 

Me: What did your mom think of you when you started acting? 

Natalie: The greatest luck of my life was having the mom I have. She is just so incredibly loving, and so creative, and so attentive. She really showed me by example how to care for someone, how to be good to someone. So I got to be exposed to all of this art and books, because she was always reading to me. She made me completely fall in love with books, which has been such an enriching and beautiful part of my life. 

Me: Natalie, it was so cool to have you on the Phile. I hope you get to come back before the fall. 

Natalie: Thank you, Jason.

That about it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Natalie Portman. The Phile will be back on Monday with Niall Horan. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain.

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...