Thursday, September 12, 2019

Pheaturing Brady Novotny


Hey kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday. How are you? Yesterday marked the 18th anniversary of the tragic 9/11 attacks. So, in remembrance, a lot of people shared stories, memories, and tributes to the people killed by the attack. It's fairly regular practice to look to political leadership for wise or empathetic words on days commemorating national tragedy. However, (unsurprisingly) Trump's track record when it comes to 9/11 is less than tactful. Last year, Trump fist pumped on his way to a memorial service at the site of the plane crashes. He has also, in the past, brought up 9/11 to brag about his ratings which is truly another level of disregard and narcissism. This year, an old clip of Trump resurfaced, and it fits neatly into his history of 9/11 gaffes. The clip features a pre-presidential Trump calling into New Jersey’s local TV channel WWOR just hours after the attack. In the 2011 call, Trump was asked about the proximity of one of his buildings to the attacks. In response, Trump bragged about how his building was now the tallest in downtown Manhattan. "40 Wall Street actually was the second tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually, before the World Trade Center, was the tallest. And then, when they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second tallest. Now it’s the tallest. I have a window that looks directly at the World Trade Center, and I saw this huge explosion. I really couldn’t even believe it. Now, I’m looking at absolutely nothing. It’s just gone. It’s just hard to believe" The clip's resurfacing garnered a lot of responses, mostly frustration at the fact that Americans voted this man into office. To many, Trump's 2011 soundbite further confirms the character we've seen him display in office. Needless to say, Trump has proven himself to be deeply disconnected from the proper ways to respond to a tragedy on scale with 9/11. I'm so glad I'm not Kristin Cavallari's social media manager. Kristin Cavallari's attempt at a 9/11 memorial Instagram post was just a thirst trap... The former star of "The Hills" is getting seriously dragged for a leggy, plunging neckline tribute to the victim's of 9/11 that is staggeringly tone deaf.


The original caption to the post was: "NYC for 24hrs. And what a time to be here… always remember.” According to People, a source said the post was scheduled for Tuesday morning, but, "then an employee took it upon herself to post it Wednesday with her own caption." The social media manager has since been fired. While there are varying philosophies on the classiest way to mention a tragedy while also respecting it on social media, a glamour shot is probably not the best tribute. Better luck next time, Kristin!
More blonde-on-blonde crime, and it's time, it's the Battle of the Entitled Daughters! A new Atlantic cover story dives deep into the Succession-style battle between Ivanka and Donald Jr. to become the heir to Trump's MAGA brand. According to the article, both siblings are planting stories about one another in the media, like a high-stakes episode of "Even Stevens." The piece concludes with the argument that while Ivanka has long been Donald Trump's favorite, Don Jr. is a more likely heir because of his ability to emanate sexism, racism, and sleaziness that the MAGA base demands. "The View" hosts sounded off on the show, with nepotism hires Abby Huntsman and Meghan McCain offering their views on their fellow entitled schmucks. Huntsman feels sympathy for Ivanka, and went as far as assuming without evidence that she disagrees with her dad's kid caging administration. McCain, on the other hand, said, "No offense, they crashed my dad’s funeral. They get nothing from me," referring to the time when Ivanka and Jared Kushner showed up at the service for the late senator John McCain. "They're not good people," McCain put succinctly. While no Trumps were invited to the funeral by the family, it was reported that the grifters were invited by Senator Lindsey Graham. Donald Trump attacked John McCain relentlessly, making fun of his military service and implying that he is rotting in hell. With everything going on in the world, the White House still decided to dedicate resources to respond to this "View" segment, in a statement to "The idea that the hosts of "The View" or a reporter at The Atlantic have any factual reads on what goes on within the Trump family is completely asinine," said spokeswoman Jessica Ditto.
John Bolton is famous for being an architect of the Iraq war and advocating for a whole bunch of new ones. Before he could fulfill his dream of invading Venezuela and bombing Iran, Trump fired him, and announced the ousting on (where else?) Twitter. Welp, seems like Bolton lost the Battle of the Bastards once again. Firings seem like a standard procedure at this point. Dozens of war hawks and sycophants have cycled through the White House's revolving door, but this time, it's different. Bolton disputed on Twitter that he was fired, offering his own version of events. He says that he wasn't asked to resign... he resigned on his own accord, but nothing was made official until Trump tweeted it out. It sure sounds like Bolton found out that he was fired the same way everyone else did: through the president's tweet. Bolton is basically on a press tour now saying "YOU DIDN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!" He started frantically texting journalists and "Fox and Friends," saying, "let's be clear, I resigned." The circumstances of Bolton's departure has turned into a full-blown he said-she said, with both the jilted war lover and White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham texting The Daily Beast. The rollout of this personnel change is absolutely chaotic, but at least Bolton and Trump are fighting with each other and not with Iran.
A guy in Montello, Wisconsin fulfilled his dream of being in somebody else's custody. The Columbia County Sheriff's Office reports that they had received a call from a woman, who had received text messages from her husband saying that he was "held against his will." Darrel Moll, 45, was zip tied to a chair, making demands to his wife via text message. The deputies looked into the messages and located the man, who claimed that he was "knocked unconscious" and woke up in that position. The police began investigating his claims, and Moll sucked it up and admitted that he lied about kidnapping and did the zip-tieing himself. Moll was arrested, booked into the jail, and charged with obstructing an officer and unlawful use of a phone. A self-kidnapping is quite the self-own.
So, Donald Trump spoke to a packed arena last week. Wanna see proof?


See? Told you. They say if I go to Walmart I'm gonna see some odd sights. I didn't believe it until I saw this...


Yeesh. I was thinking if I had a TARDIS I would go to the Twin Towers... but knowing my luck I'll end up on the top of an antennae.


No. Fucking. Way. I would not want that guy's job. Do you like Hot Pockets? Have you see the new flavor that just came out?


Ummm... moving on. Do you people like Antonio Brown? I don't think many people do, especially his team who are keeping score on his last incidents...
That's about right. Did you see when Tom Brady and Brown met for the first time? No? I have it here...


Hahahahahahahahahaha!! That cracks me up. Hey, it's Thursday. You know what that means!



That's disgusting. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...


Top Phive Things Kids Nowadays Would Never Be Able To Do
5. Having to wait for photos to be developed.
4. Roll down the window to get air conditioning.
3. Realize the amazingness that was Saturday morning cartoons.
2. Go to Blockbuster.
And the number one thing kids nowadays would never be able to do is...
1. Enjoy a whole meal at McDonald's for about $2.




Haha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so being it's Thursday it's time to talk football with my good friend Jeff in a pheature called...


Me: Hey, Jeff, welcome back to the Phile for week 2 of this football season. How are you?

Jeff: Hey, Jason, always glad to be back here on the Phile to talk some phootball! I'm doing alright! Could be working on something pretty awesome right now!

Me: That's cool. Okay, so, what's the deal with Antonio Brown?

Jeff: What's the deal with Antonio Brown? There's so many different ways I could answer that. He has been nothing but a disaster for the Raiders, first with his foot being frozen in a cryogenic chamber. Then he complained about the helmet. When he was fined for not showing up to practice, he posted the fine on Instagram. Then he had an argument with the General Manager and he threatened to attack the GM. He then threw a hissy fit on social media and asked to be released. So no surprise, the Raiders dropped him just months after trading for him. Seemingly minutes later, he signed with Patriots. So yeah. He's been a distraction and a half. He's on his third team in 6 months. 

Me: He could go to jail for one year for illegally recording Jon Gruden. Is that true?

Jeff: I honestly haven't heard anything about him recording Gruden. I doubt that's true. His issue is with the GM not the coach.

Me: Are you surprised he's with the Patriots now?

Jeff: Sadly no, I'm not surprised. But I was surprised the league said he couldn't play in week 1 against the Steelers.

Me: Oh, the Dolphins. Think about how bad they have to be to embarrass Florida. A bunch of Dolphins players are demanding a trade after the first game. What's the story on that?

Jeff: Yeah, the Dolphins are already rumored to tank the season to get the number 1 draft pick. It's sad that it's only week 1 and we're already hearing that. Everyone has their eye on the QB from Alabama as he will be eligible for next year's draft. As far as the people asking for a trade, they probably won't get traded. None of them are big names. None will probably be worth trading for. So yeah, they will remain on the Dolphins.

Me: The Baltimore Ravens hit Miami hardest than hurricane Dorian. What stories do you have this week? There was a lot of fights and injuries, right?

Jeff: Week 1 is always tough to gauge. There was some blowouts. It looked more like college football scores. The biggest injury coming out of week 1 is the Jags who traded for Nick Foles, the Super Bowl winning QB from the Eagles. He's out until at least November.

Me: Congrats to your Steelers. Haha. They have now attended more Patriots banner ceremonies than they've hosted banner ceremonies of their own over the last 30 years. Hahahahaha.

Jeff: Oh? You're going to talk smack? There are only two teams in the history of the NFL with 6 championships. One of them is New England. You wanna guess who the other team is? I'll tell you who it's not... the New York Giants! The correct answer rhymes with Smitshurg Healers. Ha! SO SUCK ON THAT!

Me: Ummmm... moving on. So, America is getting the teams back from the U.K. and changing the names. Check this out...



Me: What do you think?

Jeff: That's almost enough for me to want to root for Buffalo. Almost enough. But I like that one! 

Me: Okay, so how did we do with last week's picks? The Giants lost horribly to the Cowboys.

Jeff: Well, both our teams got blown out. And we both went 1-1 with our pics. So after one week, you and I are tied 2-2.

Me: I'll take a tie. Okay, let's do this weeks's picks. I say Chargers by 2 and the friggin' Cowboys by 4. What do you say?

Jeff: My picks are Titans by 4 and Chiefs by 6.

Me: Alright, Jeff, I will see you back here next Thursday. By the way, I am going to the Bucs/Giants game again this year. I'm excited.

Jeff: See you next week!




From dressed to the nines to asleep by nine.


Did Trump forget Barron was his son? Sure, everyone says the wrong words every now and then, but this one is pretty hysterical. We all know President Trump wasn't particularly involved in the birth of Barron considering he was partaking in extramarital Shark Week sex with porn star, Stormy Daniels, but we at the very least thought he remembers that he's related. In a warning about the dangers of the vaping trend, it was unclear if Trump even knew what vaping is. The FDA is banning flavored e-cigarettes as they're targeted mostly toward youths and this is definitely a good move made by the Trump administration. However, Trump simply referenced vaping as "not a wonderful thing," which is a description that could really be about anything that is hurting the American people. When he elaborated, he used Melania's concern for "her" son and then tried to cover it up with a "together." "She's got a son... together... that is a beautiful young man." Well, I guess we know Barron is his son since, like Ivanka, he referred to him as beautiful. If anyone has a reason to seek comfort in a sweet, sweet mango Juul pod, it's Barron, who was momentarily disowned by his father. The First Lady cited the popularity of vapes and a string of illnesses as reason to yank them from the stores. People couldn't help but notice the disproportionate response that e-cigarettes get in comparison to a little thing called ASSAULT WEAPONS, which have caused the deaths of thousands of children in their own classrooms, and that Republicans refuse to ban. Not only is the White House going harder on vapes than guns, it's harder on vapes than rapes.



A guy says to his co-worker, "Your new secretary is very sexy..." The other guy replied, "Thanks! She's actually a robot named Doreen. If you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation and if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. It will work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no dental. I'll lend her to you for a day and you can see how functional and efficient she is." Next day, the first guy calls from the hospital and shouts, "Larry, you bastard! You didn't tell me that the hole between Doreen's legs is a pencil sharpener!"



The 105th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


Ben Folds will be the guest on the Phile in a few weeks. That's really cool I think.



Today's pheatured guest is a new age guitarist, songwriter and worship leader who released his first album titled "Passions Collide" that is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Brady Novotny.


Me: Hello, Brady, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Brady: I'm good, thanks for having me on, Jason.

Me: Brady, where are you from?

Brady: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Me: You play all different styles of music on guitar, what was your first?

Brady: I started out playing classical guitar.

Me: Who did you listen to musically?

Brady: My heroes back then when I first started were Randy Rhoads and Rik Emmett from Triumph. The reason I liked them so much is not only did they play the electric guitar but they also played these classical pieces on their albums.

Me: Dd you want to play rock or keep to classical?

Brady: All I had at the time was a classical guitar growing up so I was forced into that. My family didn't have the money to buy me an electric guitar and I inherited this guitar. I started out on that, I learned how to read, play with my fingers and really appreciate that nylon string sound. But eventually I wanted to learn all the rock tunes, training and all that stuff. So I went down that path and did that for a long time.

Me: When did you move on from classical and what was the next style you learned?

Brady: Towards the end of high school and going off to Berklee they wanted to see some diversity so I remember taking up some jazz to get that jazz fusion influence a little bit.

Me: Were you into jazz at all?

Brady: No, I was never really high on jazz. I like it but it's not a complete influence on me. But a lot of the chord structures and all that stuff kind of fell into my playing.

Me: And you're into flamenco music? How did you get into that?

Brady: Like I said I really liked classical guitar so back then I bought a cassette that had all these classical guitar pieces on it and I accidentally put the cassette in wrong and it was side B and it had all these flamenco songs and I was like what is this...? So that really turned my ear towards that. I remember I called around to every university in Pittsburgh and asked if there was a flamenco teacher, I needed to learn how to do that. There was nobody.

Me: I can imagine. So, how did you learn it?

Brady: I found a guy because I taught guitar for a long time, I found a guy who moved to Pittsburgh from Southern California who said, "I play flamenco." I said, "Dude, I'm studying." He showed me everything he could and I kind of just took it all in. He passed away but I was fortunate, there still isn't anybody in the area that teaches it. Nowadays you can go on-line and schedule a lesson with whoever in Spain or wherever. It's kind of cool that way.

Me: How hard was it to learn a new style from jazz to flamenco to everything else?

Brady: Well it's nice if you have a foundation already in place. I had the theory and the chords were still the same. It's just the matter of the attack or the feel or the tradition really. Flamenco is very traditional, the metering's are all different and the way they play but still a C chord is a C chord. It doesn't really effect anything. Even with country, it's all about the sound. That takes awhile I think, it takes awhile to really develop that attacking sound to whatever sound I want to play. Especially with jazz.

Me: Let's talk about your album "Passions Collide." You have a whole album of different sounds there. Were all the songs written for this album or are some of the songs older?

Brady: At first when I decided to this I thought maybe I'll go back into the library or catalogue and see if there's anything I could kind of reach for but the more and more I thought about it I evolved as a player and knew I needed to write some fresh stuff. It took about over a year to compose everything, There's one or two pieces I had for about fifteen or twenty years that I always wanted to do something with but never did anything with it. For the most part they are pretty brand new and fresh within that year and a half of writing.

Me: How do you go about and write the instrumental songs? Do you start off with a melody or riff? 

Brady: I guess it is a combination of both. I come from that time when guitar riffs were really important and really sort of dominated the sound. I still love those heavy riffs that we grew up on. Sometimes I come up with that but a lot of times it seems to be melody driven. I hear a melody or I hear something and noodle around and it'll pop up, is I grab my iPhone and will record it and kind of structure the song around the melody. Which probably comes from I'm married to a singer so that helps to.

Me: She sings on the album. Does she help you a lot with your music?

Brady: Yeah, she tests everything. If I play something and she can sing me back the melody the following day then I know I have something. That's all she does, is sings melodies or sing chords. 

Me: Did you think of having someone else sing on the album instead of her?

Brady: No, that would've been bad. That would've been bad.

Me: Is she your main collaborator or soundboard or do you write with others?

Brady: On this project it's something I wanted to do for many, many years. I kind of just did a lot of the writing myself. Some of the lyrics I have on it were written by the drummer I have, he's a really good lyricist. He wrote the lyrics for everything but for the most part I wrote all the melodies and everything like that and my wife just kind of sang. I gave her the demo and said to make this her own. Do what she wanted to go with it but this is how I wanted to go with it. We work well together that way.

Me: Smart man, Brady. Ever argue about it?

Brady: No, but in the studio we push each other and say we can do a little better at it.

Me: Where did you record the drums and everything? In a home studio or recording studio?

Brady: I went completely old school. Everything is a live musician on the CD. Even down to the shaker. LOL. I wanted that what they say, the "organic" thing. We recorded a local guys studio in Pittsburgh named Dave Granati. I knew that he would get me the sound I'm looking for with all his experience and everything he does. I recorded the whole album at his studio.

Me: I was surprised there's horns on the album. I kinda liked that to be honest.

Brady: Yeah, those guys were great, they were local guys. It was actually a three piece horn section. 

Me: That's cool. Brady, thanks for being on the Phile. Please come back again. I hope this was fun.

Brady: Thanks for having me on.





That about does it or this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz and of course Brad Novotny. The Phile will be back on Monday with the kids from Metric. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

































I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon

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