Pheaturing Phile Alum Zeeshan Zaidi From The Commuters

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday. How are you? Happy National Scrabble Day to the remaining few people who can spell without autocorrect.
Let's start off with a nice story... Bryce Lacey, a 19-year-old Sam Houston State University student, was home visiting his father, Charles, a veteran of the Vietnam War, in Richmond, Texas. Charles Lacey was showing his son some of his old military photos, and Bryce couldn't help but notice that there was one man who was present in nearly all the photos. Charles identified the man as Kermit Powers, a war buddy of his who he'd lost touch with a few years after the war. It's been almost 40 years since Lacey and Powers have spoken, so Bryce decided to use the force of the Internet to see if he could help track Kermit Powers down for his father. His tweet, which included an old photo of the two friends, was retweeted almost 56,000 times. The Internet got together and Nancy Drew'ed the situation, and the first clue found was an obituary for an Evelyn Kelly Powers, which mentioned a son named Kermit, of Germany. Someone else found a LinkedIn profile for a Kermit Powers, but it didn't look like the account was used much (he was listed as "retired"). It did show that the man lived in Germany, though. A woman found a Twitter account for a man named Kermit Powers, who did look a lot like the man in the old photos. It showed that he was retired and living in Germany, but they couldn't be sure it was the same man that Bryce's father Charles was looking for. Then someone found a Facebook page for a man named Kermit Powers. The Facebook account also didn't look it got much use, but Bryce sent a message anyway. And he got a response! Speaking to BuzzFeed, Bryce said that his dad was "surprised" that he'd managed to track down and even speak to Kermit Powers. He added, "My mom will have to download Skype so they can talk." Good job, Internet! See, sometimes not everything on the Internet is awful.
Last night, Anderson Cooper and his panel addressed Donald Trump's comments on his discussion with Chinese President Xi Jinping. According to the Huffington Post, the conversation between the two world leaders led to a Trump revelation that, in Donald Trump's own words, the escalating situation with North Korea is "not so easy" to resolve. Here's the full quote, "After listening for 10 minutes, I realized it's not so easy. I felt pretty strongly that [China] had tremendous power [over] North Korea. But it's not what you would think." You know, just the international crisis that hasn't been solved for 65 years. The one involving North Korea and South Korea... which are technically still at war because they've never been able to agree on a peace treaty. That one. Apparently, Donald Trump has just now realized it's "not so easy." Look how flustered Anderson Cooper is! He can't even speak!

Isn't that funny? Isn't if funny how we're all in so much trouble?
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse for United, SCORPIONS. By now you've probably heard about the terrible PR nightmare United Airlines is facing after a doctor from Kentucky was forcibly dragged off a flight. Just when we thought things couldn't possibly get worse for the embattled airline, a scorpion falls out of one of their overhead compartments and stings a passenger. According to travelandleisure.com, United passengers Richard and Linda Bell were on a flight back home to Calgary from Houston after spending two weeks on vacation in Mexico when a scorpion fell out of an overhead compartment and onto Richard. They didn't recognize what the animal was until a passenger sitting next to them told them it was a scorpion. (Linda told Global News Canada she thought it looked like a cute little lobster at first.) Richard quickly got the animal out of his hair and dropped it onto his tray. When he picked it up again, it stung him. Another passenger nearby threw the scorpion on the ground, stomped on it, and discarded the remains in the toilet. When the plane arrived in Calgary, emergency personnel came on board to examine Richard. He declined medical attention and an EMS spokesperson said he "showed no signs of distress." (Other than being subject to scorpions falling from the sky.) No one knows how the scorpion got on the plane, but the best guess is that it snuck on board in a passenger's luggage. I guess United is now providing in-flight snacks and scorpion stings? Man, tough week.
Before Sean Spicer was picking fights with Dippin' Dots on Twitter or toting "alternative facts" as the White House Press Secretary, he held one of the weirdest jobs on Capitol Hill... playing the Easter Bunny for the annual White House Easter Egg roll. According to "The Washington Post," Spicer played the Easter Bunny during the George W. Bush Administration. In those days, Spicer was the Republican National Committee communications director and moonlighted as the oversized rodent. Not unlike his current job, Spicer donned oversized clothes and paraded around as a mascot for something that most people don't believe in. In an interview with Politico that recently resurfaced, Sean Spicer admits that the suit "gets very hot" and that signing up for the morning shift is key. Spicer also says that he has been passing out candy as the Easter Bunny for two years, though he probably hoarded all the gum for himself. The only difference between Spicer's former gig and current job is that instead of scaring little children, he now scares adults.
Hey, check out these throw pillows. Notice anything weird about 'em?

At first glance, you may see some pretty blue flowers! At second glance, you might see something a little more... penis-y. It's like one of those pictures you have to stare at for a while before you actually see what is going on. According to the original poster of the picture, their mother purchased the NSFW decor without realizing that the pattern is actually extremely phallic. It's a pretty understandable mistake too. Good news is that if you love the print and dream of being wrapped up in some penis flowers, you can buy a blanket using the fabric here: lookhuman.com/design/48268-floral-penis-pattern-blanket-blue/blanket, you weirdo.
Have you kids seen the movie Ghost in the Shell? I was gonna see it until I saw this pic from the movie...

It's not exactly what I had in mind. Haha. That's stupid. That's as stupid as...

Awe. RIP, Billy. So, Easter if a few days away and if you're lucky you might get this in your basket...

But when you unwrap it you'll get this...

Surprise, motherfucker. So, I saw this pic the other day...

And I thought to myself it reminded me of something and then it hit me...

So, a lot of kids are on Spring Break and not every Spring Break is a success... like for these northerners...

Hyperthermia before liquor, you've never been sicker. Hey, did you see United's new new logo? No?

Just in case you didn't see what happened on that United flight, here it is...

Hahahaha. And now because it's Easter in a few days here is a picture of the Easter Bunny and two cute kids.

It's Thursday, so you know what that means...

A woman in Northern Ireland discovered part of an oven glove baked into her slice of bread... and she didn't even notice it until she began eating it. The loaf had been bought from a local shop just before Christmas. When the victim discovered the contamination, she reported the matter to the environmental health section of the council. The packet turned out to be full of shreds of the hessian-type cloth. Herefordshire-based Hovis makers Premier Foods were fined £750.

Yuck! Okay, now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Startling Similarities Or Differences Between The United Airlines Incident & Trump's Syria Strike
5. Was an appropriate use of force.
4. Resulted from a coherent, smartly-crafted policy.
3. Caused negligible damage to aircraft,
2. Improved the world's opinion of America.
And the number one Startling similarity or difference between the United incident and the Syria strike is...
1. Will help the Syrian civil war.

If you don't spot the Mindphuck don't ever read the Phile again. Hahaha. Alright, on Monday's entry I had my sister on the Phile and she talked about the event she put together called Hops For Hope and I thought I'd plug it again...

If you are in Orlando on April 22nd try and go. I will be there. Okay, so, I like to give people a chance in life. There's this comedian who likes telling jokes, but doesn't quite get the concept of what a joke is. He has been on the Phile a few times and tried but comes up shirt each time. Anyway, I thought I'll give him another shot as I am in a good mood. So, please welcome back to the Phile once again...

Me: Hey, Ollie, what's up? How are you?

Ollie: I'm okay, Jason. Thanks for giving me another chance.

Me: No worries. Okay, tell us a joke.

Ollie: Okay. Whats green and has wheels?

Me: Ummmm... I don't know. What?

Ollie: Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Me: Ugh. Ollie, that's not really funny. Try again, my friend.

Ollie: Okay. What is red and smells like blue paint?

Me: I don't know. What?

Ollie: Red paint.

Me: Hahaha. That's a little better. Okay, one more, Ollie. Make it good.

Ollie: How do you confuse a blond?

Me: Ummm... I have no idea.

Ollie: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Me: Haha. Not too bad. Ollie Tabboger, the Guy Who Doesn't Know How To Tell A Joke, everybody.

J. Geils 
February 20th, 1946 — April 11th, 2017
One thing's for sure... his corpse stinks.

Easter
Easter is an annual religious holiday celebrating the one-hour resurrection of your lapsed Catholicism.

Today's pheatured guest is a Phile Alum and the lead singer for the New York based band The Commuters whose latest EP "Before I Was Born" is available on iTunes. Please welcome back to the Phile... Zeeshan Zaidi.

Me: Hey, Zeeshan, welcome back to the Phile. How have you been? It's been four years since you were. Holy shit.

Zeeshan: Thanks for having me again! That’s insane... time flies! I’ve been great, very happy to be back.

Me: You still have one of the coolest names out of everybody I ever interviewed. What is its origin? 

Zeeshan: Thanks, man, I wish I could take credit, but my parents picked it. Zeeshan is an Arabic word, meaning something like The Great One. Not a very humble name, but I didn't pick it.

Me: Oh! Congratulations on being a new father. How is that going for you?

Zeeshan: Fatherhood is great! And incredibly challenging as all parents know. It’s a journey, it’s nuts, it’s enlightening.

Me: You have a daughter, right? That's cool. Enjoy it now, my friend. My son is 17-years-old already. Time does fly, man.

Zeeshan: Two daughters! The older is 4 and a half, and the younger is 3-months-old. Time definitely flies.

Me: Having a child has changed your songwriting a little, right? Wasn't the title track to your new EP "Before I Was Born" about her?

Zeeshan: Yep, I wrote this song a few years ago after the birth of my first child. When she was born I was struck by the intensity of the relationship she had with my wife... and the familiarity. So it was about that, but more generally it is about how sometimes people in this world have such a strong, intense connection that you have to believe that their relationship transcends this life... will either continue after or existed before.

Me: By the way, I have a bone to pick with you... your song 'You'll Stay Right Here" made me fucking cry like a baby. Tell the readers what the song is about.

Zeeshan: It’s a message of support to someone going through a very tough time. I wrote it when I learned that someone very close to me was diagnosed with cancer. The song was my way of saying "I’m with you, and you’re going to beat this. You’re not going anywhere." That’s the main message. But in a secondary way I guess it’s also about the bumpy emotional ride experienced not just by the person suffering but by those who are standing by him or her. There’s a painful helplessness to that situation... I tried to capture it in the line, “You know that I’d gladly take your place / But it isn’t up to me.” As someone offering support it’s not about you, and you don’t want to make it about you... you just wish you could do more. (Sorry to make you cry, man!)

Me: It's okay. Both of my parents passed away from cancer in 2000... and cancer has touched my life in more ways to count. So, in way your song touched me. Have you heard many stories like that?

Zeeshan: So sorry to hear that, must have been incredibly tough… Yeah, once we released the song and the video the response was overwhelming. People whom I’d known for a long time dropped me notes telling me about how they had relatives, friends, parents who had battled blood cancer and other cancers... and either won or lost. Fans gave the same messages. It was so striking how widespread cancer’s reach is and how it’s affected pretty much everyone. That’s why we want to do everything in our power to help those searching for a cure... the proceeds from “You’ll Stay Right Here” all went to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and the video was made to spread awareness.

Me: We'll talk about the EP and stuff in a moment. You're originally from Canada, right, but now live in NYC. How long have you lived there?

Zeeshan: Yep, born in Canada, grew up in the Philippines, lived in Boston for 8 years and now New York for almost 17 years...

Me: Last time you were here I was meant to ask you something about Canada but I forgot... I ask all my Canadian guests of they are fans of one of my all-time favorite bands Barenaked Ladies. Are you a fan of theirs?

Zeeshan: Who isn’t? They’re awesome. Much respect to anyone who can stay together as a band for that long.

Me: Your music reminds me a little of David Bowie. Is he an influence of yours?

Zeeshan: Yes, huge! That just made my day. He was such an incredibly artist, visionary, and songwriter. So much depth and intelligence in everything he did.

Me: Where were you when you heard David Bowie had died?

Zeeshan: At home... just absolutely floored me. Was getting into the new album and then realized it was his parting gift to us mortals.

Me: You have known Uri, who is in The Commuters, and is your guitarist pretty much all your life, right?

Zeeshan: Yep, pretty much all of my conscious life. We met when we were 6, in first grade. Classmates all the way until we graduated from high school.

Me: Is it a coincidence you both ended up living in New York and being in a band?

Zeeshan: Call it coincidence or call it fate. We both went to college in Boston and then lived there afterwards and moved to New York at around the same time.

Me: The band name comes from all you guys being from different places if I remember. Correct me if I am wrong.

Zeeshan: Yes, that’s part of it. It’s about being on a journey... through life, through the musical world... but always returning home.

Me: Do you have the same guys in the band as your last release "Rescue"?

Zeeshan: Yep! Same foursome: me, Uri, Ben (bass), Paul (drums).

Me: Okay, let's talk about "Before I Was Born." What took so long for you to release a follow-up to "Rescue"?

Zeeshan: Life… two of us had kids we were all busy, and then all of a sudden you look up and a few years have gone by.

Me: How would you compare the two EP's, Zeeshan?

Zeeshan: I feel like the second one is both a continuation and an evolution. I think they sound like they’re by the same band but with a slight departure sonically and stylistically.

Me: Did you do all the songwriting on this EP?

Zeeshan: Yep.

Me: All your songs have deep meaning, and you put a lot of thought into them I am guessing. Does songwriting come easy for you?

Zeeshan: That’s really nice of you to say. It all varies by the song. Sometimes the inspiration comes with a pretty baked out song idea. Sometimes I have a lot of writing, thinking and work to do. It’s definitely a craft that takes time and devotion for anyone.

Me: You guys recently went to Europe. How was that, playing over there?

Zeeshan: Amazing! It was just London, but it’s one of my favorite cities in the world and our fans from the U.K. have always been incredibly supportive so it was great to make it over there.

Me: How would you compare American audiences from European audiences?

Zeeshan: Honestly couldn’t tell the difference... I think people are people and fans are fans anywhere in the world.

Me: Is there a favorite gig you have played?

Zeeshan: There are several but one that’s particularly memorable is was our album release show around "Rescue." Great energy, packed the house, lots of press in attendance. Good times.

Me: You were once Senior Director of Marketing for Arista Records... that's a dream job. Why did you give it up, Zeeshan?

Zeeshan: That's right... I was Senior Director of Marketing for Arista Records. Did all of the online and sponsorship marketing for OutKast and CeeLo and the other artists on the label (Santana, Avril Lavigne, Sarah McLachlan, Pink, Dido, Usher). It was a lot of fun... Arista got merged into the RCA Music Group, and I was there for a few years before moving on into the tech startup world for a while.

Me: What you learned doing that you put towards The Commuters, right?

Zeeshan: A lot about how to connect with fans... let them know you’re around... engage them, and keep them loyal. It’s been very useful experience for sure.

Me: Did you go to school to study marketing?

Zeeshan: Not directly. Economics undergrad, and then law school and business school.

Me: A lot of people asked me if I would market the Phile. I just laughed at them... it's just a stupid little blog. What's your favorite marketing campaign you have worked on, Zeeshan?

Zeeshan: Not a stupid blog... it’s a great blog! I’ve had the privilege of doing marketing for a lot of great campaigns... one of my favorites was doing the online marketing for OutKast’s "Speakerboxx/Love Below" double album. We just knew we were working on a historic work of art. 

Me: So, when are you guys gonna play in Florida? I wanna go if you do.

Zeeshan: We should! Will definitely keep you posted.

Me: Alright, I hope it's not gonna be another four years before your next release comes out. The Phile might be ending in 2018, and I really would love to have you back here. Go ahead and mention your websites and everything. 

Zeeshan: Yes, will try to get my act together to bang out more songs more quickly! Also... that’s a bummer about the Phile ending! Will definitely try to come back before that happens... Your fans can watch our new video here: youtu.be/zU6Kp2SR9FM. And find us online here: Website: thecommuters.com, Facebook: facebook.com/thecommuters/, Twitter: twitter.com/TheCommuters,  Instagram: instagram.com/thecommuters/, Music Links: soundcloud.com/thecommuters.

Me: Continued success and enjoy fatherhood, my friend. Take care.

Zeeshan: Thanks, my man!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Zeeshan for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with Pat The Batman Fan Evans. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Have a good Easter.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Phile Alum Leila Peverett Coe

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. It's National Siblings Day and by toto 100% coincidence today's pheatured guest is my sister. I swear it's a coincidence. Hey, my Jewish friends, Happy Passover. May your Passover not be ruined by politicians awkwardly tweeting about Passover.  It could happen.

In case you didn't know President Donald Trump announced on Thursday night that he had authorized an air strike of more than 50 missiles in Syria. This attack was in response to the Syrian government's chemical weapons attack that killed 80 civilians earlier last week, "The New York Times" reports. To make matters worse, President Trump announced the missile strikes from his golf club at Mar-a-Lago. Let that sink in. This administration's first military attack was done from a sprawling beachfront resort in Florida. It's almost so insane that it's not shocking. Like, of course this is how this would happen. Because at this point, President Trump feels like more caricature than person. Well, the on-the-nose execution wasn't missed by anybody.
A law student from Southern California, Dyne Suh, booked an Airbnb so her fiancé and two friends could enjoy a ski trip in her rare time off from studying. But as the crew made their way through heavy rain on their drive up to the mountains, their would-be host abruptly reneged on her agreement to lodge them. Her reason was anything but ambiguous. "I wouldn't rent it to u if u were the last person on earth," she texted Suh. "One word says it all. Asian." Suh shared the racist text exchange on Facebook at the time of the incident, with the caption: "Just had an Airbnb cancel on me spewing racism." Dyne Suh, 23, also shared her reaction in an emotional video from the night of the incident with Los Angeles based journalist Steve Kuzj. Now it's going viral for the sheer, shocking racism it exposes. "It stings. It stings that after living in the U.S. for 23 years, this is what happens." "She said that to me. I'm an American citizen. This is my home." According to NBC LA, Airbnb banned the racist host, who claimed the election of Donald Trump gave her the right to discriminate. Airbnb rightfully called her abhorrent and unacceptable behavior "abhorrent and unacceptable." "We have worked to provide the guest with our full support and in line with our non discrimination policy, this host has been permanently removed from the Airbnb platform," said a spokesperson. The Trump-supporting host, meanwhile, had "no comment."
Another day, another fucked up story about an airline mishandling a tense situation. Footage posted to social media depicts a man being forcibly dragged from a United aircraft after the airline accidently overbooked the flight. The video is pretty disturbing but these screen shots say it all...

According to NJ.com, United needed four passengers to forfeit their seats on the overbooked flight from Chicago to Louisville. Two passengers left the aircraft voluntarily, but the other two were randomly selected via computer. The man in the video above was selected but refused to leave the plane, telling security that he is a doctor and needed to see patients first thing in the morning. Law enforcement was called and the man was violently dragged from the aircraft as horrified passengers looked on. NJ.com claims that the man was eventually allowed to re-board and the flight took off over two hours behind schedule. United released this statement following the disturbing incident, "Flight 3411 from Chicago to Louisville was overbooked. After our team looked for volunteers, one customer refused to leave the aircraft voluntarily and law enforcement was asked to come to the gate. We apologize for the overbook situation." In March, United caused controversy by refusing to allow three young girls who held vouchers to board a flight because they were wearing leggings, an article of clothing that violates the company's dress code. I have a feeling that this particular situation is going to be a bit harder to explain.
Britney Spears popularity is big enough that it gets in the way of major elections. At least, that's the Israeli Labor Party's thinking, so they've postponed their primary election in July by one day so it won't coincide with a Britney Spears concert in Tel Aviv. According to Jerusalem Online, the concern is that the traffic from people attending Britney's show would make it difficult to attend polling stations to vote. Security was apparently another concern. Although they didn't mention Britney by name, the election committee referred to a "major event" at the venue where she'll be performing on July 3rd (the day the election was scheduled to take place). So now the election will take place on July 4th. And as Elite Daily explained, this isn't a small election... it's the election in which the Israeli Labor Party will determine its new leaders, one that's reportedly filled with bitterness and discord. Who knows, maybe Britney Spears will act as some kind of unifying force and bring the people together in harmony. Buuuut probably not.
Terry Peck, an aspiring Australian rapper known as 2Pec, didn't want to pay for the expensive seafood dinner he'd just eaten on Sunday, so he pulled a dine and dash and ran straight into the ocean. So more of a dine and swim, really. According to Queensland Police, Peck ordered a "substantial amount of seafood and alcohol" ("The Courier Mail" is reporting his meal was two lobsters, a baby octopus and 21 vodka oyster shots and "a number of Coronas," which came to over $600) at Omeros Bros Restaurant in Main Beach. But when it came time to pay, Peck instead ran onto the beach. He was reportedly chased by staff members, until he jumped into the ocean at Surfers Paradise's Main Beach. The wannabe rapper told "The Courier Mail" that he left before paying because his friend went into labor and was having a baby on the beach. He also said that the restaurant should be apologizing to him, because the lobster was "overcooked" and there was oyster shell in one of the oysters. He then claimed he couldn't find his friend, and "I was going to pay the bill if I found my wallet but I lost everything.” When he wouldn't come back onto land, police were called. The police had allegedly had lifeguards tow them on the back of jet skis out to where Peck was swimming. He was taken to jail, but got out on bail, with the conditions that he remain at a property in Labrador, and that he not go back to Omeros Bros Seafood Restaurant while still on bail. Really looking forward to his Yelp review of the establishment.
Two weeks ago, Bill O'Reilly had it made. He had the top-rated show on the top-rated cable news network in the U.S. He was the golden boy of Fox News. Also, his BFF was the president. It seemed like nothing could bring down this red-faced, potato-headed juggernaut. But then it turned out he was a perf. On April 1st, "The New York Times" published an article detailing the $13 million Fox News and O'Reilly have paid to silence sexual harassment allegations against the anchor. The money was paid to five different women, all of whom worked with O'Reilly during his years at the network. The allegations all follow a similar pattern... he would take young, ambitious women under his wing, promising to help their careers. Then he would try to have sex with them. They would say no, because of their ethics and his personality/face, and then he would abandon them. Also, sometimes he would call them and breathe heavily into the phone. Yuck. When the "Times" article first dropped, it seemed like these allegations wouldn't hurt him... the cases were closed, and his fans stood by him. Everyone thought he would pull a Trump and get away with it, effectively grabbing this controversy by the pussy. But then major advertisers started dropping his show one by one: BMW, LegalZoom, Lexus, Invisalign, Mercedes Benz, even Jenny Craig. JENNY CRAIG! All in all, more than 35 companies have pulled their ads on "The O'Reilly Factor." And now that their pocketbooks are hurting, Fox News is finally taking notice. On Sunday, the network released said it will investigate a brand-new sexual harassment claim against O'Reilly. Could he be on the outs at the network he helped build? If so, let's just hope he handles it with his trademark grace and calm.
Alright, so, I mentioned that President Trump authorized missile strikes against Syria from his Mar-A-Lago resort. Well, here is an exclusive oil from the meeting in the situation room...

Ha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...

Hahahaha. Disney (the greatest company to work for ever) once in awhile likes to change the look of their characters to keep up with the modern times. This new change I kinda like but have no idea who she is...

Wait... isn't it Jane from Tarzan? I think so. A lot of people are on Spring Break right now and like some people it cold end in disaster. Like this girl who's got a blind love for booze...

This is what beer googles are for. So, do you guys watch porn? Just in case you are thinking about watching porn instead of reading the Phile this s for you...

Hey, you might be at work and I didn't wanna get you in trouble. Alright, let's see who bought a pine condo.

Don Rickles 
May 8th, 1926 — April 6th, 2017
Who's the hockey puck now?

Hahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, as you know, I live in Florida... and here in Florida there's things that happen that happen no where else in the Universe. Trust me. So, once again here's a pheature called...

Oh, Florida, you've done it again. A couple of people in Florida made a truly horrifying discovery when they opened a bag of salad greens and began eating before noticing that the bag contained the remains of a decomposing bat. Mmmm…protein! According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, the bat was in a "deteriorated condition" (not even fresh bat!) and was sent to a CDC lab to test for rabies. But as of now, luckily both people seem to be fine, and the CDC issued a statement saying, "Both people report being in good health and neither has any signs of rabies." Meanwhile, Fresh Express has issued a recall for the rest of the batch of salads, which were shipped to Walmart stores throughout the southeastern U.S. So if you've got a Fresh Express Organic Marketside Spring Mix salad in your fridge, with a production code of G089B19 and a best-by date of April 14th, you're going to want to throw that bad boy out. If you find that you've already eaten a salad from that batch, and you've found "animal material" in your salad, you should contact your local health department immediately. On the other hand, if you've eaten a salad from that batch and not found any "animal material" (as in decomposing winged mammals), there's no need to contact the health department.

And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is this week's...

Top Phive Ways Neil Gorsuch Is Celebrating His Surpreme Court Appointment
5. Joining Samuel Alito in a spirited game if Gavel Keep-away from Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
4. Sending thank-you flowers to his mentor, Judge Judy.
3. Urging his friends to get abortions now, before he makes them illegal in a few weeks.
2. Updating his LinkedIn profile.
And the number one way Gorsuch is celebrating his Supreme Court appointment is...
1. Brushing up on the Constitution, so that he can better misinterpret it.

Passover
Passover is a Jewish holiday celebrating the climax of the 1956 film The Ten Commandments.

Alright, today's guest is a Phile Alum and my little sister. She is also the organizer and creator of Hops For Hope, a charity event that is gonna take place here in Orlando on April 22nd. Please welcome back to the Phile... Leila Peverett Coe!

Me: Leila!!!! Welcome back to the Phile. Happy Siblings Day. How are you?

Leila: Good, thanks!

Me: Okay, so, last time you were here in 2009 you were promoting your website Andasmalldog.com... is that still a thing?

Leila: Yes... even though I don't update it I get emails all the time.

Me: You specialized in traveling with pets, right?

Leila: Yes... still one of my side niches since we have a lot of experience with traveling with Bodie (our dog).

Me: How long have you been a travel agent now, Leila?

Leila: Since 2001... so, 16 years!

Me: You love to travel yourself... and have been all over the world. Where was your favorite place you ever went to?

Leila: That is a very tricky question... Amsterdam is definitely up there but I love love love Italy.

Me: I like to travel, but not overseas. I get worn out just walking around World Showcase at Epcot. Anyway, is there anywhere you'd love to travel to but haven't yet?

Leila: Lots! I think the more you travel, the longer your list becomes of where else you want to go. If I could pick anywhere to go, I think I'd pick Japan. Or Australia. Or South Africa.

Me: Alright, so, you have a company or work for a company called Go Your Own Way Travel, is that right? Explain what that is.

Leila: Actually, that is my website. I am an independent travel consultant for World Class Travel... a small agency based in Gainesville, FL that has had the same owner for 30 plus years. I basically do my own thing so created a website to attract clients to me. I have several niches but Go Your Own Way Travel is my main "hub." I customize vacations for clients based on what they want to see, do, eat, drink, etc. I handpick each element so that no trips are identical... unlike what you would get if you booked online with their "cookie cutter" packages.

Me: So, it's specialized travel... for rich people?

Leila: Not necessarily rich people... but for those that have a realistic budget for what they want to do.

Me: What is the most extravagant trip you booked, Leila?

Leila: Good question! It wasn't necessarily extravagant but I had two clients who did a last minute around-the-world trip last year. They didn't stay in 5-star hotels but they went to some interesting places which was fun to put together. I've had people stay on a private island in the Bahamas (has 6 villas on it and you have to take a seaplane and a boat to get there!), I've had clients do a night on the Orient Express Train between Venice and Paris (not cheap!), month-long trips in Europe that were $40,000 plus...

Me: Wow! I vaguely remember this story about you booked a penthouse for a family in New York City for New Years? Did I get that right? What did they get, and how much was that?

Leila: It wasn't a penthouse but a regular room but they got dinner and drinks across the street in a lounge that had a view of Times Square and the ball drop. Was probably around $5,000 for 3 nights... not terrible.

Me: Was it hard to book?

Leila: I got one of the last rooms since they did it last minute... wasn't necessarily hard as I have a great source for NYC!

Me: Did you ever get a request that was impossible?

Leila: Yes... mostly people who have no idea what things cost... like they want to do a 7-day trip to Tahiti for $1,000 per person or something! Or people who haven't looked at a map... like they ask to do Prague as a day-trip from Paris. Which, essentially, I suppose you could do but it would be a long day!

Me: You must get lots of weird requests, right? What are some of the weirdest you were sent?

Leila: I do see a lot of weird requests on "lead" websites but I don't always respond to them... haha. I've seen people who want to drive to Hawaii (also impossible), who want to go to Russia to bring home a wife, there was one request from someone who was really into Dracula and wanted to go to Romania for just one night...

Me: Okay, let's talk about Hops For Hope, your charity event you put together. First of, I am not surprised coming from you it's a beer related event. Hahahaha. By the way, I can no longer drink beer... unless they make a beer outta rice. Do they, Leila?

Leila: Yes! The Japanese beers are usually made from rice. Hitachino is one of the breweries from Japan and they are one of my favorites. The beer is so smooth!

Me: Nice. Anyway, did you come up with the name and idea for Hops For Hope?

Leila: Yes. Tried to think of something catchy. Afterwards found out there were other Hops for Hope events in other states but that's fine!

Me: It's at World of Beer in Dr Phillips... which is your favorite place... When you approached the WOB people, was it a hard sell to do your event there?

Me: We don't go as much as we used to... but still our "clubhouse." No hard sell... they know me and they already do other charity events so the manager, Mark was quickly on board. We don't have to pay anything to have our fundraiser there which is awesome!

Me: So, the charity you're raising money for is Convenant House. Did I get that right? What is that, Leila?

Leila: Yes... they have locations throughout North America and in a few in other countries. Our fundraiser is for the location in Orlando. They are a center for at-risk youth and their children. Besides being a shelter for homeless youth, they also offer job training, GED testing, assistance with getting scholarships to college, child care assistance, nutritional meals (3 meals a day for their residents), transitional housing (apartments for those who have become more stable while at the shelter) and much more. They aren't just a shelter offering a meal and a bed. They provide all the essentials.

Me: So, what inspired you to do this? How did you chose Convenant House as the charity?

Leila: I was listening to Real Radio 104.1 back in December and they had Phil and Kate Rawlins on it talking about their experience with the Covenant House. In case you don't know, Phil Rawlins is one of the owners/founderse of the Orlando City soccer club.. They had participated in a fundraiser at the Convenant House where they invite people to "sleep out" in order to raise money for the charity (sort of like a pledge drive or something). They talked about how they slept outside in the Convenant House's parking lot for one night (and it happened to be a night with near freezing temps). They talked about the charity and what they do, etc. I had never heard of them so I went home and Googled them. I had wanted to do something positive for the community for a while (used to volunteer at local charities in high school but not much since) so I contacted them to see how we can help. We went to their monthly "open house" where we met with the staff, toured the facilities and talked to one of their residents (who had just started college and was getting ready to move to her new Covenant House apartment). Hearing her story and seeing the charity in person pretty much sealed the deal. We told them we were interested in doing a fundraiser for them and they quickly agreed!

Me: Okay, so, what is gonna be happening at this event?

Leila: We will have hourly raffles, a silent auction, Plinko and beer specials. Big Top Brewing Company is our beer sponsor (Sarasota based brewery). They have donated a keg to the event and for $6 you can get one of their beers and proceeds will go to the charity! Not sure which of their brews we will have yet but we hope to sell a lot of it!

Me: Any trivia? Live acts?

Leila: Considered both but decided that for our first fundraiser we will keep it as simple as possible. 

Me: For the raffle there's gonna be some cool prizes, right? What are they, Leila?

Leila: We have some awesome prizes! Most exciting raffle/auction items thus far include a $500 gift certificate to use towards a vacation (donated by Globus... a company that does escorted tours, river cruises and city packages), a private tour of the Center for Great Apes (private sanctuary for chimps and orangutans... the Bubbles lives there now!), Star Wars jewelry, fitness classes, restaurant gift cards, Kennedy Space Center tickets, theater tickets (to the Orlando Shakespeare Theater and to The Rep... children's theater), various gift baskets and much more! Something for everyone.

Me: I wish I could raffle something off... maybe someone can advertise their business on the Phile and I would have them on here to talk about their business. That could be worth a few dollars.

Leila: Haha! We could try.

Me: Is it hard getting companies to donate stuff for the raffle?

Leila: Yes and no. Some are willing to donate right away... no problem. Others (usually the larger corporations) require you to submit your request 3-6 months in advance with no guarantee that you'll get anything.

Me: Being at a World of Beer, is this a family event?

Leila: Yes, World of Beer is kid-friendly during the day. and dog-friendly!

Me: Is this gonna be a one off event or will you do this often?

Leila: I'll let you know on April 23rd.

Me: Are you doing a lot of advertising and plugging for Hops For Hope?

Leila: Trying to... radio PSA starting this week, event ads in the local papers and websites, flyers will be going up around town... We don't have a big budget so also relying on word of mouth.

Me: It's on April 22nd... why April, Leila? It's actually a good time to do an event I think.

Leila: We had originally wanted to do it earlier but this was the first date WOB had available. Actually turned out to be better than doing it quickly as I've had more time to seek donations and get organized.

Me: I am planning on being there in the afternoon for it, if I am able.

Leila: Awesome!

Me: So, is there a way if anyone wants to help out, but won't be at the event they can still donate?

Leila: Yes, multiple ways, actually. If they have an item or service they wish to donate, we are still taking donations... can be any value or size. If they want to donate money, we have a Facebook event set-up and I will be posting a link for donations on there once we get closer to April 22nd. They could also drop off items for the shelter (travel sized toiletries, school supplies, baby toys (new), batteries, etc). We will have a donation box set-up for about a week prior to the event. Details on that will also be on the Facebook event as we get closer to April 22nd.

Me: Leila, I think it's so cool you are doing this... you're a better person than I am. Hahahaha. I would be too lazy to plan anything like this.

Leila: Thanks! Felt the need to focus on something positive after Pulse and everything else that is happening in our world.

Me: Is there a website where people can learn more about it?

Leila: Facebook event page is the best source of up-to-date info! facebook.com/events/1825774604342920/.  If that is too tricky, then just go to facebook.com/GoYourOwnWayTravel/ and look at Events.

Me: Thanks for being on the Phile again, Leila. Take care, and good luck with it. I'll see you soon.

Leila: Thank you!! I have to give a shout out to Kristin and Scott Dunbar... they do fundraising events at WOB for Kristen's arthritis charity and are lending us all their equipment... tables, Plinko, clipboards, pens, raffle ticket buckets, etc. as well as volunteers!

Me: Cool! I'll be there. Let me know if you want me to donate tike on the Phile for someone as a raffle prize. Good job, Leila.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my sister Leila for a great interview. I wish her lots of luck for this event. The Phile will be back on Thursday with Phile Alum Zeeshan Zaidi from The Commuters. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Nozart

Good afternoon, my lovely people, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? I'm okay, but autocorrect still thinks I wanna say "duck" twelve times a day.
Let's start off with a story about a t-shirt I can't decide has a typo or not. This t-shirt that’s for sale in the Trump Tower gift shop in New York City makes absolutely no sense.

Politico's chief Washington correspondent Edward-Isaac Dovere tweeted the picture of the t-shirt, which reads "shut the fake up media." Wait. Is the shirt meant to say, "Shut up the fake media" or perhaps "Shut the fake media up"? Is it meant to be some kind of word play on "Shut the fuck up, media"? In that case, the shirt is missing a comma. No matter what the intention was for this t-shirt, something definitely got lost in translation. Hey, Donald Trump hardly makes sense when he speaks, so why should his merchandise be any different?
As an incredibly lazy person, I'm always on the lookout for news that supports the continuation of my sedentary lifestyle. So I'm very pleased to report that a study comparing bathing to exercise found they shared similar benefits. Metabolic researchers at the U.K.’s Loughborough University were behind this experiment, in which the effects of a hot bath (or "passive heating") were compared to those of physical activity. What they found is that warm baths burn as many calories as a 30-minute walk... although not as many as riding a bike. And while they cautioned that exercise "still offers the greatest overall benefit to weight control and metabolic health," they noted that hot baths also help to combat chronic inflammation and dampen blood sugar spikes after meals. All of which is to say: The next time you're lounging about in the tub, idly making castles out of the mountains of bubbles while you listen to your favorite Enya playlist, and someone impatiently knocks on the bathroom door, you're free to shout "Go away, I'm working out!" Because now the science has your back.
Last Sunday was Mother's Day in the U.K., and a creative ad agency that happens to be named Mother itself wanted to make a big, bouncy statement for the occasion. So they put a giant inflatable breast on top of a building in London's Shoreditch neighborhood.

I love it! While the massive mammary was certainly worth gawking at no matter the context, the agency explained that it was meant to highlight the stigma mothers feel about breastfeeding. "It’s hard to believe that in 2017 U.K. mothers still feel watched and judged when feeding in public, by bottle or breast," the company wrote in a blog post. "This was our Mother’s Day project. A celebration of every woman’s right to decide how and where they feed their children without feeling guilty or embarrassed about their parenting choices." The building itself was plastered with signs bearing the hashtag #FreeTheFeed. I personally have no issue with women feeding their infants wherever and however they want, but if it takes more public displays of enormous inflatable breasts to bring other people over to that point of view, well, I fully support that. Heck, bring a pair next time.
After surviving alone in the wild for an entire year, reality TV show contestants on the show "Eden" finally emerged from the woods having fought off hunger, fatigue, and difficult social dynamics while living in a remote area of the British Isles. But, most of that won't be seen on the show, as it stopped running back in August, after only four episodes. Here's the concept for the original premise of the show, which included 23 contestants, according to a promotional statement for the show, "With no prescribed infrastructure, the group will take in with them only what they can carry and the basics needed to kick start their experience, including the tools of their trade. What they do and how they do it is up to them. The series will follow the groups’ journey as they debate their own rules and laws, decide if they want to live together or separately, accept majority decisions or do as each of them pleases. Over 12 months, how will they work together to build their own shelter, grow their own food and raise their own livestock?" But, according to the "New York Times," all but 10 of the contestants quit before the year was up, citing "concerns about health and safety, boredom and swarms of tiny biting insects called midges." The remaining 13 who stuck it out maybe got the worst deal of them all: learning you had just spent a year building a civilization while being tortured by small insects, and it didn't even make you famous. Apparently viewership of the show dropped drastically, from 1.7 million watching the first episode, down to 800,000 on the fourth, after which the show was cut. Though that still doesn't explain why the show and network didn't alert the contestants once it was canceled, and get them out of the wilderness, where the conditions were clearly less-than-desirable. Maybe the show didn't have the appeal of "Survivor" because it wasn't a competition; there were no winners and losers. "The appeal of 'Eden' is that it was a real experiment," Channel 4, the British public service station that created the show, said in a statement. "And when filming began we had no idea what the results would be and how those taking part would react to being isolated for months in a remote part of the British Isles." So, next time you congratulate yourself for going "off the grid" for a weekend by renting out a cabin on Airbnb with four of your besties, just remember you ain't got nothing on the "Eden" contestants. And they don't have much to show for themselves either, save for a few bug bite scabs.
At long last, Bob Dylan has finally accepted his Nobel prize. Months after the announcement he barely acknowledged, the ceremony in December which he didn't attend, the 75-year-old singer-songwriter received his award at a small gathering Saturday afternoon (April 1st), "Billboard" reports. The venue for the intimate ceremony was the hotel next to the conference center where Dylan was playing later that night. (I'm sorry that is the saddest sentence I will write today.) But apparently, the ceremony was exactly what Dylan wanted. Klas Ostergren, a member of the Swedish Academy, told the AP, "it went very well indeed." The only attendees were members of The Academy and one of Dylan's staff members, which was "in line with the singer's wishes." When Dylan first ignored, then later refused, his invitation to attend the ceremony in Sweden and accept his prize, the Nobel committee’s chairman called him “impolite and arrogant," but it could be that Dylan is just a shy, awkward dude. Of course, he made the whole thing a bigger deal by refusing to act normally about the award, thereby creating more attention than he would have by simply attending. The other thing people forget is that Dylan didn't ask for any of this. Did you know in order to get the award money ($894,800) that goes along with the award, he has to give a lecture within 10 months of December 10th, 2016? And according to "The Washington Post," when he first found out he won, Dylan said, "If someone had ever told me that I had the slightest chance of winning the Nobel Prize, I would have to think that I’d have about the same odds as standing on the moon." Fair, considering Dylan probably never thought of his work as "literature" before that. Later that night at his concert, Dylan made no mention of the award or the day's ceremony that had happened hours before, perhaps because he truly is a humble, strange guy.
So, Disney, the greatest company to work for ever, occasionally changes the look of their characters to keep up with the times. They updated one character recently and I have to say it looks good.

I think it's Mulan. Did you see the trailer for the new Spider-Man movie? I thought just Iron Man was supposed to be in it... then I saw this...

I have no idea who that guy in the orange is. I'm excited the Thing is in the movie though. Hahaha. How was your spring break? Some people's spring break end in total disaster, like this poor fifth wheel...

If he needs mouth to mouth he's outta luck. Hey, are you kids fans of "The Walking Dead"? Did you know Negan had a record out? No? Well, he did...

I definitely wanna get that. So, recently I have been watching the Harry Potter movies and kinda like them. There was one scene that kinda didn't need to be put in the fourth movie.

Expecto petroleum. Hahahaha. One thing I like to do in my spare time is to go on Twitter and look up certain words. One of the words I look up is "Foghat" and this is one tweet I found a few years ago...

So, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's things that happen in Florida that happen no where else in the Universe. That's why I have a pheature called...

It's almost prom season, which means it's "promposal" season. Promposals seem to bring out the best, and the worst, in teens. And this horrifying promposal photo that went viral on Twitter is the worst of the absolute worst...

She might have said "yes" but everyone else is saying "noooooooooooooooo!" Not only is this racist "cotton picking" joke insanely offensive, but it doesn't even make sense! This is just so many levels of wrong. Turns out, the teens who made the signs are currently students at Monarch High School in Coconut Creek, Florida (ugh, Florida, why does it always have to be you?? Why???), Yahoo confirmed. Jon Aro, an alumni of the school, spotted the pic on Instagram and shared it on Twitter. "It is two thousand and fucking seventeen," he wrote. His tweet has been retweeted more than 8,000 times... A few people are asking why the black girl in the photo "allowed" this to happen. Aro, 18, and currently a student at Palm Beach State College, told Yahoo he has no regrets about sharing the now-viral photo. "I decided to post it on Twitter because it is 2017 and stuff like this is completely revolting," he said. "I had thought we had been past the plight of racism. Apparently we hadn’t."A receptionist at Monarch High School confirmed to Yahoo that the teens are currently students there, and said the principal is "aware" the racist promposal photo exists. Stay tuned for updates.

Ha! This is pretty easy. If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. Okay, two things before we move on. The other day I was thinking of an old Phile Alum who in 2012 ran for president... Lee Abramson. I was gonna invite him back to the Phile and see what he thought of Trump being president. So, I looked Lee up and was shocked to find out he passed away on January 20th, 2016. I was also lucky enough to interview his mom Janet Abramson. RIP, Lee.

Another thing I have to mention is that on April 22nd, my sister Leila is putting together an event here in Orlando called Hops For Hope and I wanted to advertise it here.

Leila is gonna be the guest on the Phile next Monday to talk about it, but I felt I should plug the even here as well. Alright, so, I'm old. Not that old, but still pretty old. After all, next year I turn 50. Anyway, one plus thing about being as old as I am I understand a lot of things. There's this comedian who is a lot older than I am... he's 100-years-old and occasionally he likes to come on the Phile and tell jokes. Well, the problem is os that most people have no idea what he's saying. I fortunately do and can translate pretty good. So, with all that being said, please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hello, Alan, welcome back to the Phile.

Alan: Salutations, Jason.

Me: Alright, let's hear a joke.

Alan: A forward girl being in company of two or three with her mother, must needs whip her hand up her petticoats and scratch her. "Lord, child," says the mother in a pet, "what are you about?" "Only laying the itching of that which you have often plagued my poor father to do for you."

Me: Hmmm. That's a hard one. Okay, here goes... A girl reaches under her skirt in public to scratch her vagina. When the mom asks "What the fuck?" the kid replies, "I'm just scratching my vagina like you're always asking dad to do for you."

Alan: Good job, Jason.

Me: Thanks. Do you have another joke for us?

Alan: A Welchman shiting from a bridge, good shit, by Davy, said he, what a devil no plump? For he expected to hear his excrement fall in the water, but all the while shit in his coat-pocket.

Me: Hahahaha. What Alan was trying to say was... A man shits off a bridge and is surprised when he doesn't hear it plop. It's because he accidentally shit in his coat pocket. Good one, Alan. alan, the 100-year-old comedian, everybody!

Now that Donald Trump is president of this great nation, he's worried he might not have time to deal with small matters like civil lawsuits. In fact, he's so worried that he's bringing the matter to court. TMZ reports that Trump's lawyer, Marc Kasowitz, filed court documents in New York arguing that former "Apprentice" contestant Summer Zervos' defamation lawsuit against the president should be dismissed, since it could distract the president from his public duties and subsequently hurt the country. Zervos is suing Trump for defamation after he allegedly ruined her good name by calling her a liar for her sexual assault claims against him. Kasowitz is citing the Constitution's supremacy clause to back up his claim that the sitting president can't be sued in state court while in office. He claims that the Supreme Court left this particular issue undecided when they ruled against Bill Clinton in the '90s. (The Supreme Court did firmly decide that he sitting president is not immune to private litigation, however.) Zervos' lawyer, Gloria Allread, isn't buying it. Allread said on Tuesday that "no man is above the law and that includes the president of the United States." Donald Trump may not have time for defamation lawsuits, but don't worry. He still has plenty of time for weekend golf vacations.

Today's guest is a musician from New York whose latest single "Puppet" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Nozart.

Me: Hello, Nozart, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Nozart: Pleasure to be be here. I'm great, thanks for asking.

Me: Okay, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say Nozart is a take-off of Mozart, am I right?

Nozart: You are. I really admired Mozart growing up and since my music has a lot of classical influence, I felt like the reference made sense. It’s meant to be a little humorous, just like Mozart was himself.

Me: Are you a classical music fan?

Nozart: Yes I am. Right now I'm listening to "Mahler's 7th Symphony" on repeat... though the repeat only occurs about once every hour and a half.

Me: What music did you listen to growing up?

Nozart: When I was really young, I used to listen to a lot of Beethoven, Chopin and Mozart, but then I spent my early teenage years listening to two-thirds jazz, and one third soundtracks. Since then, I've gone through listening phases of a multitude of different types of music, but I always come back to the same combination of genres I love. A couple of my biggest influences are musical theater composer Stephen Sondheim, jazz pianist Brad Mehldau, and electronic producer/composer Ryan Lott of Son Lux.

Me: Your father was a musician, right? Mine was as well. Mine was the lead singer in Foghat... I am sure you heard of that band. What kinda music did your dad play?

Nozart: What!? Well, my dad was never a rock star, but he used to play classical piano wonderfully. Listening to him play is the reason I started playing myself. Now I return the favor by giving him jazz piano lessons from time to time.

Me: Did you grow up wanting to be a musician?

Nozart: I grew up wanting to be the best jazz pianist that ever walked the earth... it didn't work out.

Me: I have no musical abilities myself except I play the kazoo. You play keyboards... how old were you when you started to learn?

Nozart: My dad started teaching me by ear when I was three. I learned a lot by ear, but never learned to read music. Truthfully, I didn't make much progress until I was around 11, but I did start building up my ear from an early age.

Me: How did you pick the keyboards to be your instrument?

Nozart: I played the jazz drums in the jazz band at school, but we had another drummer. The day the keyboard player quit, I took over and since then I haven't stopped playing keys.

Me: Was it easy to learn?

Nozart: Yes and no. My ear was always way ahead of everything else, namely my technique and my ability to read music. I actually didn't even learn to read music until I was around 16, which did slow me down in some ways. I was once at an advanced jazz program and out of embarrassment, I pretended I could read music, faking my way through until the day of the concert, the conductor asked to hear just the rhythm section. At one point, there was complete silence, and everyone started laughing. That's because I was supposed to be playing. Thankfully, one of the teachers took me aside and spent the next two hours teaching me all the parts by ear. Then I got dressed and played the concert.

Me: Wow. So, where are you from originally and where do you live now? New York, right?

Nozart: I’m originally from Syracuse, NY. Now I live down in New York City. Sometimes I miss being surrounded by the woods back upstate, but there’s no place like New York City.

Me: Nozart is your own project but you recently toured with Elliot Moss... what was that like?

Nozart: Honestly, it was super thrilling. I’ve been a huge fan of Elliot’s music since the moment I first heard it. Playing it in front of thousands of people is a fantastic experience.

Me: Did you have to audition to be in his band?

Nozart: We knew each other for a long time before I ended up playing in his band, so he already knew me as a musician and knew I would be a good fit.

Me: I do have to say congrats on being the youngest person to be in the Betty Carter Jazz Ahead Residency. Where and what is that?

Nozart: The Betty Carter Jazz Ahead Residency is a fantastic program in Washington D.C. that brings a group of talented jazz composers and performers from around the world together to study with jazz legends. Being a pianist, it was really exhilarating to work with Dr. Billy Taylor, who unfortunately passed away soon after. It was also magnificent working with jazz legend Curtis Fuller, who I had known for some time from the Skidmore Jazz Institute. When I was at Skidmore, I got a really bad spider bite on my hand and ended up on steroids to bring down the swelling after I went to the emergency room. They tired me out so much I could barely keep my eyes open, so Curtis used to remember me as the kid who kept falling asleep at the piano.

Me: You also went to the Brubeck Institute... where is that?

Nozart: That’s a really interesting fellowship program at the University of the Pacific in California. The way it worked when I did the program was that every two years, they accepted one person on each instrument. A total of five people were in the program at any given time, and they made up a band that toured the country.

Me: What did you study there?

Nozart: Mainly jazz piano and composition, but I also branched out taking electronic production lessons, synthesis, mixing, and also vocal lessons.

Me: Was it fun to be in the Institute?

Nozart: It was one of the most fun and beneficial experiences of my life. It was the first touring experience I ever had. We spent the first three months or so of our first year of college on the road. We always had 24-hour access to our own band practice room with a grand piano and drum set.

Me: Okay, let's talk about your music... you have a single called "Puppet." It's a really nice song, Nozart. What was the inspiration behind it?

Nozart: "Puppet" is a song about feeling chained down and breaking away from that metaphorical claustrophobia. It’s about putting all of your frustration and anger into one outlet and letting it take on a life of its own.

Me: I like to ask songwriters and musicians what came first the lyrics or the music... so, what came first?

Nozart: For me, it actually depends on the song. But the majority of the time, the music comes first. Sometimes, I actually create an orchestral soundscape before even starting a melody. I find that establishing the space, instrumentation and some kind of chordal color creates enough emotional context for me that I can take it from there and build the rest of the song.

Me: Are you working on an EP or album?

Nozart: I’m finished with my first full-length album, which will be coming out this spring. I also have a second album in the works at the moment.

Me: I like the picture of the single cover... it reminds me when I saw Michael Jackson and his kids at Epcot years ago... his kids were wearing Mardi Gras masks. Is that you in the pic?

Nozart: Did you see "Captain EO"? I’m a big fan of that video.

Me: Yeah, I worked at Epcot and was a coordinator there after Michael passed they started to show "Captain EO," which his estate owns. I originally saw it in 1984 when it was there originally. Anyway, is that you wearing the mask?

Nozart: Yeah, that’s me. I brought a few visual ideas to a talented photographer and we had a great time putting together the photos.

Me: Why not a pic of a puppet?

Nozart: I think of "Nozart" as a storyteller. The Puppet is one of the characters in a fantastical story that he’s telling to the listener. I actually see the guy in the mask as our real-world interpretation of the Puppet.

Me: I have to ask you about the promo shot as well of you spitting something out... what are you spitting and why are you spitting?

Nozart: Good question. When I went in to make these photos, I had a couple of visual ideas in my head, all based around telling stories. For the mask, in my mind I envision the paint actually moving around telling the stories of the characters in my songs. In terms of the dust, I imagine that all of the dust particles will come together and form a picture of yet another story.

Me: I was thinking your music was very soundtrack like and read you did a few scores for some shorts. What were they, Nozart?

Nozart: You have a good ear. I am very musically influenced by soundtracks, and I have scored multiple shorts. At the moment, I’m working on a variety of short films. One of them is a documentary about the cancer research center at Upstate University Hospital that I’m very excited to be the composer on that project. I’m also co-composing along with another talented composer, Alba S. Torremocha, for another really interesting project called "To Be With Hamlet," which focuses on creating a live virtual reality theater experience of Hamlet for viewers across the world.

Me: Are they fun to do?

Nozart: I really love working on scores. The collaborative process always yields a unique musical result, inspired not only by the film itself but also the vision of the director.

Me: So, what's next for you? More Nozart music?

Nozart: Yes, lots more will be on its way. I don’t want to speak too soon here, but I’m really inspired right now and I’m working on a lot of music. I’m eager to keep getting it out to the world.

Me: Thanks so much for being on the Phile... plug your websites and everything and please come back again soon.

Nozart: Nozartsounds.com, twitter.com/nozartsounds. All the best. Thanks for having me! It’s been a pleasure.

Me: Cool. And I'll have you back here real soon.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Nozart for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Monday with my sister and Phile Alum Leila Peverett Coe. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker