Pheaturing Phile Alumni Blade Of Grass

Hey there, kids, welcome to a Monday entry of the Phile. How are you?   Do you kids like that The Wizard of Oz movie? Well, someone is offering a $1 million reward for the stolen ruby slippers from it. The reward is coming from a millionaire. But you already knew that. Back in August 2005, the famous ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz were stolen from a museum in Minnesota. As we approach the ten year anniversary of this theft, an anonymous rich person/huge Judy Garland fan from Arizona is willing to pay $1 million for information leading to the recovery of this precious footwear. Sometimes I forget that if you're rich you can still use you money for whatever you want. Sure, finding a pair of shoes is a strange use of a million dollars, but I bet millionaires would think it's weird how much money I spend on pizza and Pop Vinyls. So let's call it a draw.  Bad news, fellow freedom-loving patriots. In this increasingly militaristic police state we call the United States, you are no longer allowed to call 911 to tell the authorities that your delivery Chinese food is "not up to par for [your] liking." A 44 year old Alliance, Ohio woman learned this lesson the hard way recently when she picked up the phone and dialed a 9 and two 1s to inform the state-run emergency telephone service... which is paid for with your tax dollars that the Asian-style cuisine she ordered from a local restaurant could have been prepared a little bit better. The woman was charged with "charged with misuse of 911" and will have to defend herself in court in the coming days. It gives me no pleasure to report this harrowing story to you. The American Eagle that lives inside my heart is literally weeping tears of blood as I write these words. And I'm not even American.   Ha.  Have you ever felt older than your years? If you're like me, then you answered, "Unnggghhh yes, ohh the pain." But as it turns out, we're not all just whiners. There's some science behind that awful feeling. A new study published in the journal "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences" found that people have a "chronological age" and a "biological age," and that these numbers can be radically different. Some subjects in their late 30s had the bodies of people ten years younger, while others seemed to be approaching retirement age. Some seemed to age three years for every year that passed. The researchers determined subjects' biological ages by tracking 18 different aging-related traits, including weight, kidney function, and gum health. (I'm not sure if pants height was one of them, but it should have been.) They found that patients with older biological ages tended to score lower on tests of brain function and grip strength as well. I guess the lesson is that aging is like a house of cards... once anything goes out of place, it all comes crashing down. The subjects of the study were 954 people from the same town in New Zealand, all born in 1972 or 1973. The scientists examined each of them three times, when they were 26, 32, and 38, to determine the rate at which they were aging. Some of the subjects seemed to not be aging at all, while others were falling apart in front of the scientists' eyes. "They look rough, they look lacking in vitality," said Professor Terrie Moffitt of Duke University, one of the authors of the study. She told the BBC that the results of the study show that our emphasis on chronological age in society is unfair. "Any area of life where we currently use chronological age is faulty, if we knew more about biological age we could be more fair and egalitarian." You see? There's a silver lining to this story. Just because you're getting older doesn't mean you have to slow down. Also, just because you're still young doesn't mean you don't have an excuse to slow down. It's a win-win.  I didn't realize how much I missed Dave until I saw him again. He really is the one that got away. I should have done more to treasure the 33 years we had together.  A newly-bearded Letterman made his first public appearance since his retirement on Friday at a live show hosted by Steve Martin and Martin Short in San Antonio, Texas. Saying he was "so happy to be out of the house," Letterman explained that he had no regrets about his retirement… until he heard that Donald Trump was running for president. Consumed with the fire of a man half his age, the veteran host had no choice but to fly to Texas and mock Trump with one last Top 10 List. The list even included a record three jokes about that thing on Trump's head. Is this a harbinger of more surprise Letterman drop-ins to come? God, I hope so.  Okay, so, with the success of Magic Mike XXL, Disney, the greatest company to work for ever, is rereleasing some of its classic animated movies with stripper like sex scenes thrown in. I have been showing you some scenes in the last few entries and I have another one....

Who is that? Cinderella and her Prince? I think so.  I don't know if you believe in aliens or if they have landed on this planet yet, but there's a lot of unusual people on this planet which makes you think. Check it out...

See what I mean?  Okay, so yesterday I talked about Jared from the Subway commercials whose home as raided by the FBI. I said I had a new Subway poster they came out with that was a joke and told you I was hesitant in showing it. Well, a lot of you said you'd like to see it. I am still hesitant but will show it anyway. Here goes...

There. And yes, I know he has been charged yet. It's a joke. Moving on...  It's summer and it's beach season. Chances are if you go to the beach you are gonna see some unusual bathing suits or bikinis, which I have been showing you here on the Phile. Like this one for instance...

Possibly a malfunction, but at least they don't have to worry about being tailgated. Haha.  Alright, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is another one of...

Top Phive Benefits Of Taco Bell Delivery
5. You may now enjoy crippling diarrhea in the comfort of your own home.
4. You can convincingly pretend that your 15-taco oder is for more than one person.
3. You can strip to your socks and enjoy your chalupa without being hassled by some fascist "manager."
2. You;; be able to avoid those 15 year olds in the parking lot who always call you "Gordito Supreme."
And the number one benefit of Taco Bell delivery is...
1. You won't have to waste the gas you'll need to get next Tuesday's angloplasty.

Etsy
Etsy is a website that allows you to finance someone named Susan or Linda's hobby.

Today's guests are two Phile Alum who make who make up the band Blade of Grass. They have an new EP out called "She Was." Please welcome back to the Phile... Mike Hurst and Josh Murphy  from Blade of Grass.

Me: Hey, guys, welcome back to the Phile. How have you been? 

Mike: Really great, couldn’t be better, we are getting close to finishing our (as yet untitled EP) which will come out in August and the unreleased tracks have been getting rotation on local LA radio (KCRW), so we’re really stoked right now. 

Josh: Fantastic! Never better! Thinking about big things ahead.

Me: Mike, last time you were here I called you Michael. What do you prefer? Mike or Michael? 

Mike: Either is cool... if you're in a hurry go with Mike... but if you have some leisure time... I'd go with Michael.

Me: And Josh, you go by Josh not Joshua, right? 

Josh: I prefer Joshua as it is my God given name. But it's weird being an adult named Joshua. Only little children are called by Joshua or Gary Busey from Lethal Weapon. 

Me: Last time you were here we talked about the band should be called Blades of Grass as there's two of you. Did anybody else ever tell you that? 

Mike: You are onto something because that’s pretty much what everyone calls us anyway! 

Josh: Singular or plural... the music is still awesome, it’s “a rose is a rose” kind of thing. 

Me: Good point. You have some sort of new logo,  emblem, I don't know what to call it... this triangle thing. 

Me: Who designed it and what does it mean? 

Josh: Its a secret masonic design that triggers the subconscious center of will forcing you to listen to our music using sacred geometry and witchcraft.

Mike: A friend of mine with Chief Creative is a graphic designer hooked it up. It reminds me of sacred geometry and how everything in nature fits together. Sacred geometry is the belief that God created the universe according to a geometric plan, and this belief system has ancient origins. 

Me: Okay. You're both from California, right? Do you both still live there? 

Mike: Yes, we’re in Los Angeles, everyone’s favorite city to hate! “We love it!” though (cue Randy Newmans’ “I Love LA”).  

Josh: L.A. is the opposite of Kauai. 

Me: And if I remember correctly you met at UCLA. Were you in the same classes? 

Mike: Yes we had the same philosophy class with this evil TA who I remember to this day: Brian Josh: Brian Williams right? Wait, that's not right... Brian Wilson? (No… Beach Boys…) Anyway... this guy was and I bet you is still a fucking a-hole. Skinny, evil, and un-fun. I failed his class… 

Me: Haha. So, whose idea was it for you to both be in a band? 

Mike: One thing led to another, we’ve always played music, and we’ve been in a few different bands since we first met. 

Me: And which one of you came up with the band name? 

Mike: A few years ago when Facebook had a “poll” feature (where you could poll your friends), I asked all my friends to vote on “Blade of Grass” or “Fundamental” and Blade of Grass won in a landslide. 

Me: Alright, so, I listened to your two song EP "She Was." She was what? 

Josh: I blew it with her. I made some mistakes, I tried to say I’m sorry. But, as Chicago put it: "It's hard for me to say I’m sorry," and she left... in a UFO, to a distant dimension. 

Me: Okkkaaayyy, anyway, I like both songs. Why did you release just two new songs? 

Mike: Thanks for saying that! Truthfully it’s because we wanted to get the music out there and the recording was going SLOW, but we have a 5 song EP coming in August. 

Josh: Two songs is plenty, these days people are in such a hurry... who has time to listen to a 15 song album? That might’ve flown in the 70s but today, with microwaves and gigaprocessors etc. Two is plenty... as long as they’re hit singles. 

Me: So, did both of you write the songs? 

Mike: Yes, I’ts a collaborative effort. 

Josh: I write all the good parts of the songs (for the record). 

Me: It's cool you made a video for each song, guys. Who is the cute girl in the "She Was" video? I am gonna show a pic of her just for the helluva it.

Mike: That’s Sayo Orange an actress here in L.A. who we met at Starbucks. She had just gotten out of a cinema makeup class and had gruesome zombie like makeup on her neck, and we were like she’s the one.  

Josh: She is cute, huh? She’s an Irish Japanese dream girl. Sayo is super cool and a bad ass. We jammed with her on the day of shooting the she was video and she was a natural. And you know how Rick Ocasek always had cute girls in his videos? We were thinking that is a good recipe for a hit video… 

Me: Where was the video filmed? 

Mike: Elysian Park, which is a beautiful park and hiking area which is in the shadow of Dodger Stadium. 

Me: The second video for "Who You Gonna Run To" is an animated one. That's a great idea. What made you go that route? 

Mike: We brainstormed the idea and it just went from there. 

Me: Who did the animation? 

Mike: After being unable to find anyone who could work in our budget in the U.S., we found some very talented animators in somewhere near the Ukraine (can’t remember which country). Those guys building their portfolio at the time and have since gone onto some major league gigs. 

Josh: Ukrainian animators are the best.

Me: So, do you guys play all the instruments or do you have a band? 

Mike: On these recordings it’s mainly just the two of us playing and singing, our producer has a lot of input into the music as well. We love playing with others and will do so when play live. 

Me: I am sure you play a lot of shows... what is a usual Blade of Grass show like? 

Mike: It’s evolving constantly and we’re putting together a great new set for our shows later this summer, but it’s hopefully something you can dance along to but a lot of the time there’s so much going on that people just watch. 

Me: So, you guys gonna be releasing more music you said? 

Mike: Yes, 5 song untitled EP coming out in August. 

Me: A live release would be great to hear from you guys. Did you ever think about that? 

Mike: That’s a really good idea… the studio recordings are great but theres always more synergy when we play the songs live. There’s always a few surprises. 

Me: Then when you release it call it "Jason's Idea." Haha. Who are your influences? Do you both listen to the same music? 

Mike: World music, the sound of the rain and thunder. Yes, we listen to the same music a lot of the time because we’re hanging out a lot of the time before and after we work on our music. 

Josh: I like aboriginal music, or anything indigenous. That’s the real deal, ancient melodies, music as medicine... star medicine. 

Me: If you could open for anybody, who would it be? 

Josh: I would like to open up for Kanye but destroy the sound system and stage with fire and explosions so that he couldn't play and then film his temper tantrum. 

Mike: No specific artist, but I would love to play Coachella and similar festivals (I really enjoy the vibe at events like this with everyone letting their hair down and just soaking up music for a few days). 

Me: Okay, on the Phile I ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics. Ready? Do you learn more when you win or when you lose? 

Mike: Wow, good question, I have to admit that you learn more when you lose. 

Josh: I never lose, so I’d have to defer to Mike’s experience with losing. 

Me: Thanks so much for the interview guys, you guys rock. Plug your website and everything and you are both welcome back any time. Cool? Continued success. 

Josh:  Thanks for interviewing us and making us think!! We’re on: Soundcloud : soundcloud.com/bladeofgrass, Twitter: twitter.com/BoGMusic, Facebook: facebook.com/BladeOfGrassMusic, Blade of Grass website: bladeofgrassmusic.com/.

Me: Fantastic. I'll have you both back here soon, guys.

There. That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Mike and Josh from Blade of Grass. The Phile will back on Thursday with Phile Alum Meka Nism. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. 

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Andrew Fitzpatrick From All Tiny Creatures

Hello, good morning, and welcome to another entry of the Phile. How are you going? Well, as you know Comic-Con is going on right now in San Diego and there was some Star Wars news.  The next best thing to a trailer was unveiled to Star Wars fans at Comic-Con: a behind-the-scenes look at shooting locations, characters, and set construction from the forthcoming film. A panel discussion was led by Kathleen Kennedy and J.J. Abrams, along with new actors in the film, plus much-anticipated appearances by Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford. This was Ford's first publicity appearance since a plane crash last March. Following the talk, fans were treated to live Star Wars music by the San Diego Symphony in the park. Listening to a symphony orchestra in the park is probably the classiest event to ever happen at Comic-Con. Listeners received toy lightsabers for the concert, and Harrison Ford even used a lightsaber as a cane to make light of his recent injury. Both the force and the Ford have awakened.  Have you heard the story that the Pope changed his clothes at Burger King? We've all been there. The Pope needed a place to change clothes prior to overseeing Mass at the Christ the Redeemer square in Santa Cruz. After all, changing in a fast food restaurant bathroom is always easier than changing in the car, especially when your car is built with entirely transparent windows and surrounded by thousands of onlookers. The Bolivian Burger King quickly posted the news on Facebook, thanking His Holiness because he clearly knew through divine wisdom that the only bathroom suitable for switching vestments is theirs. Ironically, the Pope later criticized mass consumerism and materialism in his speech, just as the chain posted another picture of him and their logo with the caption "There are visits that don't just bring joy to your spirit, but also feed it." Gross. To be certain, if there is a boost in sales, or just higher traffic of customers looking for miraculous images on fries, marketing executives everywhere will fight to be next in line when the Pope needs to change in a bathroom during a road trip.  Prince Philip, the Queen's husband, royally cursed off a slow photographer at a WWII veterans event. As Queen Elizabeth II's #1 piece, it is the duty and honor of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh to attend events like this ceremony honoring WWII veterans of the Battle of Britain (Prince Philip himself served in the Navy). It is not his duty, however, to suffer slow, incompetent peasant photographers, and it is his prerogative to instruct his lessors on what they should do, what what! In short, he's 94 years old, a (notoriously foul-mouthed and gaffe-prone) Prince and a veteran. There's no point in him wasting his few aristocratic seconds on this guy, so take the fucking picture.  We are undergoing a major cultural shift in the way that our society views assholes who use their phones during plays. A guy tried to charge his phone on the stage of "Hand to God." He got ridiculed. A woman tried to text during "Shows for Days." Patti Lupone stole her phone. And if you think celebrities are above the consequences for committing theatrical phone crimes, you are wrong. Because Madonna just got called out. Actor Jonathan Groff says that Madonna was texting all throughout a performance of the musical "Hamilton," which ran off-Broadway and begins previews on Broadway this week. Groff... who you might know from Looking or "Glee" or "Spring Awakening," or all three, or none... described her behavior in an interview with Dot429. The interviewer had heard that Madonna wasn't invited backstage after the show, and asked if Groff found that unfair. He didn't. Madonna's rep, however, says she wasn't texting during the actual play but during a fundraising pitch after it ended. Who can we believe? And what crazy event will happen next? Will a Broadway audience member call one of the actors on the stage and ask if their refrigerator is running? Will someone in the front row of "Les Mis" decide to revamp their Tinder profile? Will people start actually following the rules and turning off their phones while they enjoy live theater?  Fox is rolling out an actual version of Duff Beer in Chile, and plans on expanding it to future markets in South America and Europe. So move over Easter Island and Patagonia, Duff Beer is now the undisputed primary reason to visit Chile. Fox's selection of Chile was intentional, as they have recently been working with the Chilean government to crack down on counterfeit versions of Duff. Apparently South America is so thirsty for fictional products that they forced Fox to market a beer rather than continue intellectual property battles. British brewmaster Paul Farnsworth helped create the official recipe to bring Duff Beer to life. Hopefully this success will be an inspiration to Chileans making counterfeit jeans out of their car holes.  The Minions movie is now out, and the little yellow creatures are absolutely everywhere. TV commercials, bus ads, meme after meme on the Internet… everywhere you look, you'll see a Minion. And because they already look like toys, the merchandising tie-ins have been extensive. McDonald's is even giving away Minions toys that will swear at your kids! But even that seems tame next to this bright idea: Minions tampons. To be fair, the tampons were never made for sale. They were created as a joke by Kotex Puerto Rico, which posted this image to its Facebook page along with a caption reading: "We're ready for the movie! And you, who are you bringing along to the premiere?"

I'll tell you who I'd bring to the premiere: my kid! And if I had to bring tampons along with me, they would be normal ones without eyes on them. Because I'm not a weirdo. Also, I don't need tampons. I'm a man. But if I did need tampons, I would use ones without eyes. Since it was first uploaded, the image has been deleted from Facebook. I suppose Kotex thought better of the joke. Or they were getting too many requests from people who wanted to actually buy the things. After all, everybody loves Minions. Almost as much as they love quality, absorbent tampons.  So, I was gonna talk about Jared Fogle, from the Subway commercials, and make jokes about him. I even had a joke with a fake Jared poster I was gonna use, but I am hesitant to use it. If you haven't heard, Jared Fogle added "nation's respect" to list of massive things he's lost. I had a few funny things to say, but but it's not hilarious. It's Jared Fogle going from former obese person to current potential pedophile. He has not been arrested, but he has been detained. Authorities have confirmed he is a suspect. He has not been charged. But, his home in Zionsville, Indiana was raided tis past week by FBI and local police, who filled up an evidence truck with electronics from Jared's house while serving a warrant in connection to a federal child pornography case. Jared was home at the time and was seen in the evidence truck. Although authorities will not confirm it, this case likely began when Robert Taylor, then-director of the Jared Foundation, was arrested earlier this year with 500 videos of child pornography, which he was also accused of producing. Fuck. Well, I will say this. For one final time, Jared helped me lose my appetite. Who knows? Maybe Jared is innocent. A lot of people are saying this is slander. First of all, that is stupid. Slander is spoken... libel is written. He (I repeat) is a suspect. Here's the thing: if Jared was as cooperative as people say, why wouldn't police drive an unmarked sedan to pick up evidence in the middle of the day? An evidence truck and jacketed FBI agents at 7am does not scream cooperation. Neither does the fact that no one will say that it's just part of the other investigation into Taylor. Neither does the fact that they're looking for information on a business associate on home computers. Maybe his former foundation director just accused him of harboring child porn for no reason. Maybe the FBI just really fucking hate Subway and wanted to get back at their former spokesman. One can hope. Usually, however, having your home raided on a child porn warrant is a bad thing. He hasn't been arrested, though, so there is that caveat. Jared Fogle has not been arrested for the contents of the computers they just took from the house. If he is cleared of suspicion, I'll fucking apologize. A lot. And I'll eat a sandwich, even though I don't think he gets money from that any more. By the way, if you wanna me to post that fake poster I mentioned email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com and I will. I have to think about it.  So, that Magic Mike XXL movie is out and Disney, the greatest company to work for ever, has decided to rerelease some of its classic animated movies with stripper scenes. Check it out...

Crazy.  So, I'm sure you heard about this whole Bill Cosby story, right? Well, seeing how Bill looks now, it all kinda makes sense.

Don't take the red pill. Or the blue pill.  Donald Trump, who is running for president, wants to change the world and even had a map drawn out. I happened to get my hands on it to show you.

He's crazy.  Okay, it's summer and all through summer I am showing you some odd bathing suits and bikinis you might see by the pool or at the beach. Check this one out...

You have ruined ducks and boobs for me and it shant be forgiven. Haha. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's...

Top Phive Group Of People Who Wants To See Minions
5. Half-wit kids disappointed by the lack of yellow-butt humor in Inside Out.
4. Profanity lovers, hoping the Minions will be as foul-mouthed onscreen as their McDonald's Happy Meal toys.
3. People hopelessly addicted to the yellow, capsule-shaped anti-insomnia drug Temazepam.
2. Moviegoers who enjoyed both Despicable Me films, but were bothered by how much coherent dialog they contained.
And the number one group of people who went to see Minions are...
1. Idiot butchers, excited to finally see a movie about mignons.

Omar Sharif 
April 10th, 1932 — July 10th, 2015
If this guy was so awesome in Lawrence of Arabia and Dr. Zhivago, then why can I only remember him getting crushed in a car compactor in Top Secret? Huh?

Ken Stabler 
December 25th, 1945 — July 8th, 2015
Much less stable-r.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, as you probably know I live in Florida, and there's lots of crazy stuff that happens in Florida that happens no where else. That's why is why I have a pheature called...

A Florida woman thought she had been hit in the leg with a firecracker on the Fourth of July while celebrating at an outdoor venue. She checked out her leg in the bathroom, didn't see any blood or injury, and kept going about her evening celebrating America's independence. When her leg continued to bother her days later, she went to the hospital and learned that she was the proud owner of a bullet wound. Doctors suspect it was likely a stray bullet that had been fired into the air, as no one was reportedly packing at her event. To her credit, the venue she was at seems to be a reputable joint, and she's lucky to have not been more seriously injured from whatever idiot fired a gun into the air. Stay classy, Florida.

Okay, today's guest is a member of the Wisconsin band All Tiny Creatures whose new album "Dark Clock" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Andrew Fitzpatrick.

Me: Hello, Thomas, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Andrew: Hello, it's great to be here. We are all doing fine, thank you for asking.

Me: I have to ask you about the band name as I know it must have a story behind it. Who came up with it? It's very rememberable.

Andrew: Tom wrote a song called "To All Tiny Creatures" before the band was formed. It seemed like a halfway decent title, so we dropped the first word and used it as our band name.

Me: I downloaded your new album "Dark Clock" from iTunes, and even though I have to admit that kinda music is not totally my favorite kind of music, I really liked it. This is your second after your first EP, right?

Andrew: Cool, glad you enjoy it. We released two cassettes ("An Iris Mixtape" and "Glass Bubbles Mixtape") during the period of time between the "Segni" EP and the "Harbors" LP.

Me: I have to ask, how does your music sound live in concert? Is it hard to pull off?

Andrew: The songs usually sound somewhat similar to the album versions, but way louder, and sometimes a little longer. We added vocals to our live set a little over a year ago, and the first few months were a bit of a challenge, but I think we're figuring it out.

Me: You kids are from Wisconsin, is that right? Are you all from there?

Andrew: Yes, we're all from Wisconsin. Matt and I grew up on the west side of the state, and Tom and Ben were raised in eastern Wisconsin.

Me: Were you all in other bands before you were in All Tiny Creatures?

Andrew: All of us were in a ton of different bands before All Tiny Creatures. And all of us still play in other bands and have other musical projects as well.

Me: Being from Wisconsin, I am guessing you are Packers fans. I am a Giants an myself. Do you guys follow football?

Andrew: I'm a huge Packers fan. Matt likes the Packers too, but Tom and Ben couldn't care less. 

Me: Hey, I didn't ask you who is in the band, Andrew. So, who is in the band?

Andrew: Thomas Wincek, Andrew Fitzpatrick, Ben Derickson, and Matt Skemp comprise our band. 

Me: I have to mention your previous album "Harbous." I love the album cover, Andrew. Very colorful. I have to show it...

Me: Who did the artwork for it, and what does it represent? It's not a harbor, is it?

Andrew: Aaron Draplin (of Draplin Design Co. in Portland, OR) did the artwork. I think it represents the intersection of our music, the album title, the song titles, and Hometapes' and Aaron's collective imaginations. And I think the image could be considered a harbor.

Me: Have you ever been to Port Jefferson harbor on Long Island? (I assume they meant "album title"?)

Andrew: I don't think any of us have visited Port Jefferson... maybe the next time we're in New York. Closer to home, the Great Lakes have provided us with many opportunities to visit a variety of different harbors.

Me: Andrew, we're running out of time. Thanks so much for being on the Phile. Go ahead and plug your website and please come back again, you guys. I hope to see you in Florida in concert soon. 

Andrew: We have a website, a Facebook page, and a Twitter account. Thank you for having us. Hopefully we'll be in Florida sometime soon.

Me: Alltinycreatures.com is the website. Haha. Good job, Andrew.

That has to be the shortest interview on the Phile yet. All Tiny Creatures? All Tiny Interview more like. Haha. Anyway, the Phile will be back tomorrow with Phile Alumni Blade of Grass. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Emanuel Lundgren From I'm From Barcelona

Hello, good evening and welcome back to the Phile, kids. I have to say sorry your upcoming vacation destination was featured on Shark Week. Man, everyone is so crazy for Shark Week. Your enthusiasm for Shark Week scares me more than sharks.  Here's a disgusting story to get your week off to a depressing start. A Michigan oncologist will be sentenced this week in what U.S. Attorney Barbara McQuade called "the most egregious case of health care fraud I have ever seen." Over a ten-year period, Dr. Farid Fata misdiagnosed hundreds of patients with cancer in order to defraud both them and the Medicare system. In the process, he made millions of dollars and hurt many families, growing his practice from a one-doctor office to a statewide medical empire of evil. That practice, by the way, currently has a generous 1.2 star rating on Google Plus. Fata pushed intense chemotherapy and radiation programs onto healthy patients, causing severe side effects. Some patients lost their teeth or limbs. Some even died. Meanwhile, Fata used aggressive and manipulative tactics to ensure they would keep paying him. Prosecutors say as many as 553 patients received unnecessary treatment, many of whom chose to attend his trial. In cases where the patient died, their families came in their place. Their interest is to see him meet justice, not recoup losses... although Fata may have billed Medicare alone for $91 million, it's unclear if his victims will ever see any of that money. A number of civil lawsuits against him and his practice are still unresolved. Fata faces sentencing today. Prosecutors are seeking a 175-year sentence for him. It just goes to show: you should always get a second opinion. You never know if your doctor is a Salk or a Mengele.  We all know that Oreo has no shame when it comes to inventing new products. This time, however, their cookie scientists decided to turn things down a notch and focus on fundamentals. As opposed to tweaking regular Oreos, they created an entirely new type of Oreo, which has been christened the Oreo Thin.
Here's the add for it...

Why does this feel like it's a phone commercial? Even though it seems like a health initiative, Oreo has stated that it's more about making Oreo a "grown-up treat" that you can eat with a cup of tea or serve at a fancy dinner party. Instead of giving the regular Oreo a monocle or teaching it to speak in a British accent, they've slimmed it down to look more elegant but have also ensured that it has the same "creme to cookie ratio." Is this a new era for Oreo? Or is this going to be a failed attempt at marketing a children's products for adults? I feel like the Mitch Hedberg quote, "Fettuccine alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults" applies here. Oreo also has way too much faith in that idea that adults are afraid to buy regular Oreos. Or maybe that's just me...  It turns out that Donald Trump is more than just a racist, narcissistic blowhard with terrible hair. He's also a fickle retweeter. He'll retweet something on the spur of the moment because it appeals to his base desires, then take it down hours later when he realizes it can damage his nonexistent credibility. On July 4th, Trump quoted a tweet from user @RobHeilbron...

Heilbron was referring to Bush's wife Columbia, a legal immigrant from Mexico. Let me stress that part: LEGAL. Not that a distinction like that ever bothered Trump... he's still bugging Obama about being an illegal immigrant. I think he doesn't realize Hawaii is a state. Trump kept the quoted tweet up for 24 hours before he deleted it. Of course, that was more than enough time for it to be screenshotted and preserved for all time. Will this glaring example of a racist double standard finally bring the tinsel-topped tycoon down? No. He's already done a million things more embarrassing than this, and he's still in second place among Republican candidates. The only person beating him is Jeb Bush, probably because his legal immigrant wife is so charming.  Katy Perry may be the highest-paid female celebrity in the world, but that doesn't mean she automatically gets everything she wants. Sometimes, she has to appeal to a higher power. The singer is currently embroiled in a property battle with a handful of elderly nuns, an archbishop, and a powerful real estate developer. The pope may even get involved. It sounds like a joke, except they all didn't walk into a bar. The property in question is a gorgeous hillside estate in Los Angeles with a fish-shaped pool and a view of the mountains. The complex is a former convent, but the nuns haven't lived there since 2011, and everyone agrees they should sell. The question is: to whom? Perry offered $14.5 million for it, while the developer, who wants to turn it into a hotel, offered $15.5 million. The archbishop wants to sell it to Perry (he must be a big fan), while the nuns want to sell to the developer. Perry even tried to sway the nuns with a visit and a private performance, which backfired magnificently.  If you saw the Terminator: Genisys trailer and thought the Terminator franchise had finally jumped the shark, you're wrong. It did that in 2003. But now, the series may finally have been crushed in a hydraulic press for good, because the latest film tanked at the box office. The new film, which stars Old Schwarzenegger and Daenerys Targaryen, grossed a disappointing $28.7 million domestically in its first weekend. It failed to beat Jurassic World or Pixar's Inside Out, which are both older releases. It did, however, beat Magic Mike XXL, which was also in its opening weekend. That, at least, should be some comfort for Arnold. He may not be able to beat dinosaurs or cartoons, but he can still take down musclemen half his age. Good for you, Governor.  Okay, so, just for he record, I want to make one thing clear... this isn't me.

Haha. Really. It isn't.  So, with the kinda success Magic Mike XXL has, Disney, the greatest company to work for ever, has decided to rerelease doe of its classic animated movies with stripper scenes. Check it out...

I think that is Hercules and Meg... I am not sure.  Hey, it's Shark Week and I am sure you wanna see sharks here, right? Okay, here we go...

I am such as ass. Hahaha.  Well, if you go to the beach this summer you might see some unusual new bathing suits or bikinis such as this one...

She's thinking, "If anyone else tries to float in my pool I shall tear them to shreds." That's just craziness. Well it's Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, and here on the Phile I have my own shark... Feargal the Shark. He is pretty popular so I thought I'd bring him back again this year. So, please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hey, Feargal, welcome back to the Phile. How are you?

Feargal: Ummm... I smelled you from across the too, and I was wondering... can I maybe have you for dinner... I mean, have you over for dinner?

Me: No, Feargal, that's not a good idea. I see you already ate someone.

Feargal: I smelt blood from an injured human in the water and tried to apply pressure to the wound with my jaws to stop the bleeding.

Me: Suuurrrreee. So, Feargal, do you have any jokes for us?

Feargal: What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?

Me: Fish?

Feargal: Close. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

Me: That's dumb.

Feargal: Okay, how did the crazy shark become normal again?

Me: I have no idea.

Feargal: Electro shark therapy.

Me: Ha. That's a little better.

Feargal: Why did the street sharks get arrested?

Me: I have no idea. Why?

Feargal: Dorsal profiling.

Me: Not bad. Alright, give us one more, Feargal. And make it good.

Feargal: What did the street shark say when something radical happened?

Me: I don't know.

Feargal: JAWESOME! Haha.

Me: That was bad. Thanks for coming, Feargal, now get back to the ocean.

Feargal: I will. Bye, I'm fin-ished.

Me: Feargal the Shark, everyone.

Hahaha. That's brilliant! I bet they did that on purpose. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, something happened up in Jersey that's kinda crazy and a friend of the Phile wants to tell us about it. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is.

An Englewood Cliffs man laid down in the road pretending to be choking, carjacked a woman's Mercedes when she got out to see if he was okay, fought with New Jersey police when cornered, stole the police cruiser he was being placed into... then led police on a slow speed chase through SEVEN towns before crashing and finally being taken into custody. A. I had no idea that Robert Downey Jr. fell off the wagon, again. B. This is what happens when Moe, Larry & Curly fill in for vacationing officers. Annnnnnd.... C. I wanna party with THIS dude.

Fitbit
A Fitbit is how people who used to wear "Livestrong" bracelets are looking stupid in 2015.

Today's pheatured guest is the lead singer of the great Swedish band I'm From Barcelona whose latest CD "Growing Up is For Trees" is available now on iTunes featuring the single "Violins." Please welcome to the Phile... Emanual Lundgren.

Me: Hola, Emanuel, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Emanuel: Hi, I'm fine thanks!

Me: Okay, I am confused, your band name is I'm From Barcelona, you have a Spanish sounding name and your band is based in Sweden. Where are you from, and is the rest of the band from Barcelona?

Emanuel: Yeah okay, I admit, we're from Sweden. But the band name is actually a quote from the old TV series "Fawlty Towers." There's a guy called Manuel who is from Barcelona. My name is Emanuel... there you go!

Me: I loved that show. What is the origin of the band name? My new band should be called I'm From Balham or I'm From London.

Emanuel: I already told you.

Me: Good point. Whereabouts in Sweden is the band based? I don't know much about Sweden. You must talk in Swiss, right? Is that the language there?

Emanuel: Swiss is in Switzerland, Swedish in Sweden.

Me: Haha. You're right. I am an idiot. There's a shit load of people in your band, Emanuel. How many people altogether? I betcha can't name them all. Haha.

Emanuel: I'm pretty good at their names, because they are my friends. I bet you know the names of your friends, right?

Me: Ummm... some of them. So, how many are in the band?

Emanuel: There's a bunch of us. Twenty-seven if you want a number. Or maybe 28.

Me: I was happy when I found out you have a kazoo player in the band. I play kazoo! In fact, it's the only instrument I can play. So, if you ever need a new kazoo player... Anyway, how did you end up hiring almost 30 people?

Emanuel: I just wanted to do some recordings on my vacation. I also wanted to meet my friends. So I tried to combine it and just asked people I like to be a part of the recordings. It wasn't very planned at all.

Me: You are the main songwriter and lead singer in the band, right, Emanuel? Do you get the other kids opinion's on your songs?

Emanuel: Yes, all the time. I use to email them demos of the songs. If they like them, they stay in the game, if they don't I move on.

Me: Let's talk about your new album "Growing Up is for Trees" which I really love, and which I downloaded from iTunes.

Emanuel: Thank you.

Me: One of my favorite videos ever is the one you guys did for the song "Get in Line" from the "Forveer Today" album. Who did that video?

Emanuel: We have a friend called Mats Udd who held the camera then I put it together. You can check it out here: youtube.com/watch?v=aCPvRLrzp5U&feature=related.

Me: I am a big can of the band so I have to ask you about the song "Charlie Parker," which opens "Forever Today". Are you a fan of Parker? What about Graham Parker?

Emanuel: I'm a fan of all birds.

Me: Who else are you a fan of, Emanuel?

Emanuel: Prince. Soon I have a complete vinyl collection.

Me: Your music has been on a few TV shows, which is cool, like "How I Met Your Mother" and "Gray's Anatomy," but what I think is really freakin' cool for some reason you guys were on "Yo Gabba Gabba." How was that experience?

Emanuel: We had an amazing time over at "Yo Gabba Gabba"! It was like being on the "Muppet Show," and everybody was fighting over the different costumes... Some of the characters joined us on stage later that evening on a gig in L.A.

Me: I have a picture of you and DJ Lance Rock I have to show...

Me: So, you meet those character things? I was watching the show one night late years ago and I saw you guys on it. That's how I first heard about you kids. Is the show filmed in California?

Emanuel: Yes, in L.A. I met some of the characters. And saw the head of Brobee on a shelf. Kinda creepy.

Me: You guys looked like you had a lot of fun making that video for the show. Does your band normally dress that colorful? I do have to give you props, Emanuel, you have some fine looking women in your band. Well done!

Emanuel: We're colorful, but usually we don't dress up as grapes or pirates.

Me: You guys not only played on "Yo Gabba Gabba," but you've done a few festivals as well such as Lollapalooza and Coachella, and I am sure some festivals overseas. Do you like to play festivals or inside more intimate shows better?

Emanuel: Festivals are fun because you reach a lot of people that maybe hear you for the first time. But I love small clubs the most, because you get close to the audience. And also I don't like the sun very much.

Me: Ever played in Orlando, Florida? You have to let me know if you come here.

Emanuel: No, we haven't. I hope we can come back to the states and do some gigs!

Me: I know you have to go, sir. Thanks so much for being on the Phile, I am a big fan. Go ahead and plug your website and please come back again. I hope this was fun, as fun as "Yo Gabba Gabba". 

Emanuel: Thanks, it was fun. But maybe not as much fun as "Yo Gabba Gabba." imfrombarcelona.com/.

There, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Laird Jim and Emanuel Lundgren for a great interview. There were so many more questions I wanted to ask him, I hope I can have him on the Phile again. Okay, the Phile will be back on Sunday with Thomas Wincek from All Tiny Creatures. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Sara Serpa

Hey there, welcome back to Peverett Phile Geneys for a Sunday. So, did you have a happy Treason Day yesterday?    Haha.  So, America celebrated 4th of July weekend by looking at pictures of the royal baby. What is more American than losing your mind over a tiny foreign baby? Nothing! Princess Charlotte was out doing her thang, you know, having a christening ceremony at St. Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham in front of hundreds of adoring fans and photographers. The young princess managed to stay very calm and collected even though she was getting a lot of attention. Probably because she's a little baby and has no idea what is going on around her. Even Charlotte's older brother George thought, "Wow, my little sister is one chill baby."  A movie theatre in Ohio made a huge mistake. Five kids in Middletown, Ohio were traumatized by a movie theater mix-up, and the woman who brought them is as angry as a personified cartoon emotion. Jazmyn Moore posted a story to the Facebook page of the "Journal-News" about an incident that happened at Danbarry Cinema. She took five young kids to see the new Pixar movie Inside Out, an inspiring animated film about a little girl and the emotions that live in her head. Instead, the theater accidentally screened Insidious: Chapter 3, a horror movie about a teenage girl whose soul is gradually eaten by a demon. Then again, both movies are about girls, and they both begin with "Insid," so they're basically the same. Right? Anybody? Moore wrote in her post that “I got our money back but the damage is already done… my children are terrified and keep asking questions." That's too bad for her, but answering awkward questions is part of being a parent. Sooner or later, their bodies will begin to change and they'll want to know when their eyes will disappear. It's called The Talk, look it up.  Are you kids watching Wimbledon? The most exciting thing to happen at Wimbledon was this guy's bonkers hairdo.

Tennis spectators around the world, it is time to crown your hair-king. Behold the teased beauty of this man's enormous up-do. Surely, it took many hours to achieve a look of such precision messiness, but he's probably been perfecting this disaster hairstyle for a long time. Perhaps he's been waiting years for his hair's moment in the sun, and thankfully, that moment is now. We should all strive to express ourselves as boldly as this man.  A library denied a girl entry to a robotics class because she is a girl. Cash Cayen tried to register for a robotics class at her local library in Timmins, Ontario, and was denied because she was a girl. However, since we live in a modern age, she started a petition on Change.org with the following opening line: "Because today I tried to register for the robotics session that our local library is offering and was refused based on the fact that I am a girl." She's received over 30,000 signatures already, and has also been granted access to the class following an apology from the library.

The only thing better than the positive end to this young Canadian girl's story is the fact that the man who signed the apology letter has the last name of Doody. I hope all feminist struggles are resolved this swiftly in the future.  So, I have some good news and bad news. The good news: the Associated Press recently revealed the existence of pizza farms, which are farms that make and serve pizza on their property, using as many farm-grown ingredients as they can. Pizza eaters come with their own drinks, blankets to sit on, and even plates and napkins. Then they lay around on the farm grounds, chowing down on pizza and just enjoying the heck out of life. I know that this seems like the vision of perfection, but according to the Associated Press, "Running a pizza farm isn't all idyllic." If the Associated Press wasn't an organization of such high repute, I'd assume this to be a LIE, because running a pizza farm is obviously the best thing in the world. But, the AP reports, many pizza farmers deal with stiff regulations... in the case of one pizza farm that makes its own cheeses and sourdough crust, they were only able open to the public for a few weekends and holidays because they were dealing with so many inspection issues. If you want to go to a pizza farm, you're going to have the best luck finding one in the Midwest, especially Minnesota or Wisconsin. Or, if you live in Central Florida, you could start your own pizza farm and invite me over. Just sayin'.  So, on the Discovery Channel starting today it is Shark Week, and I just happen to have a shark related story. YouTube user/brave person Hillary Rae uploaded a video of her cage diving experience on a trip in South Africa, when the cage she and her friend were in got attacked by an 11.5 foot Great White shark. Half of that length is the height of Robert Downey Jr., so this shark attack was basically like being attacked by two RDJs, if RDJ had monstrous teeth and could breathe underwater and very easily kill you (and not just with his sweet bedroom eyes). According to Rae, after the shark was done with the cage, "The round buoy attached to the side of the cage was bent in half. Some of the lining of the outside blue barrier bar was bitten through as well." Nope. No. No thank you. Yes, I know that swimming with sharks in a dive cage is safe, and no, I still don't want to do it. Even if it is just two Robert Downey Jrs. Just in case you're wondering, here is a screen shot of the shark...

Girls, have you seen the movie Magic Mike XXL yet? If not Disney... the greatest company to work for ever... is rereleasing some of its animated movies with a Magic Mike like scene. And here on the Phile, I have an exclusive screen shot.

I don't know if he's showing her the world or something else.  Yesterday was July 4th as you know, and on that day an old George Washington painting that has never been seen was revealed.

I don't know what to think.  Well, it's summer and most of you will be hitting the beach sometime. If you do, you might see someone wearing this bathing suit...

Ummm... You've seen the Apple Watch, now witness the Apple This-Is-Why-We-Started-The-Neighborhood-Watch. Okay,and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's...

Top Phive Similarities Between Bristol Palin's Pregnancy And Ted 2
5. Is already being called "a huge disappointment."
4. Its making was a real labor of love.
3. Is a sequel nobody wanted but everyone expected.
2. Features a nearly human, deeply unlikable protagonist.
And the number one similarity between Bristol Palin's pregnancy and Ted 2 is...
1. Is a springboard for lots of weak sex jokes.

if you spot the Mindphuck I am sure you will let me know. Okay, as I said on the Discovery Channel starting today it is Shark Week. well, for the last few years I have introduced you to a character who also happens to be a shark, and a very funny one at that. So, please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hello, Feargal, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Feargal: Horrible. People only care about me one week out of the year.

Me: I'm sorry. Okay, so, do you have any jokes for us?

Feargal: Who was the first shark elected president of the United States?

Me: I didn't know a shark was elected president so I don't know. Who?

Feargal: James K. Shark.

Me: That's stupid, Feargal.

Feargal: What was the sharks favorite Orson Welles movie?

Me: Ummm... I don't know.

Feargal: Citizen Kane-i-kokala.

Me: I do not get it. Another?

Feargal: What is my favorite B-52s song?

Me: "Rock Lobster"?

Feargal: No, "Love Shark."

Me: It's "Love Shack." Shack, not "Love Shark," Feargal. Okay, we have time for one more.

Feargal: What is a shark's favorite smell?

Me: I don't know. What?

Feargal: Human blood.

Me: That's not even funny, Feargal. Go back into the ocean.

Feargal: Okay, bye. I'm fin-ished.

Me: Feargal the Shark, everyone.

Okay, today's guest is a jazz singer from Portugal whose CD's are all available on iTunes. Her latest "Kitano Noir" is a live album she did with jazz legend Ran Blake. Please welcome to the Phile, the lovely... Sara Serpa.

Me: Hello, Sara, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Sara: Very good.

Me: I have to say, I think you are the first guest I ever had here from Portugal. You don't live there anymore, right?

Sara: I have been living in USA since 2005.

Me: Where in the U.S. do you live?

Sara: I live now in NYC.

Me: Do you still have family and friends Portugal? I bet you go back there often. I am originally from England, but since 1987 only been back twice.

Sara: I go back twice a year at least. I have many friends and family over there. I love Portugal.

Me: Did you know English before you moved to America, Sara? How long have you been here in the States now?

Sara: In Portugal you take English classes since you're at least 13 years old. It's mandatory. So, yes, I knew English before moving here.

Me: You went to school in Boston at Berklee, right? I bet that was an experience. What course did you take, Sara?

Sara: I went to Berklee College of Music for 3 semesters and then moved to New England Conservatory, where I did my Masters in Jazz Performance. It was a great experience, I've had amazing teachers.

Me: Now you are in New York, how do you compare Boston to New York?

Sara: New York is the city that never sleeps! You constantly feel the urge to do things and move fast. In Boston it's more peaceful, there aren't any distractions...

Me: What city are you from in Portugal?

Sara: Lisbon.

Me: How does Lisbon compare to New York or Boston?

Sara: Lisbon has nothing to do with the american cities, of course! Everything is different there. It's a beautiful old city, amazing light, and I can say that people have a great quality of life in Lisbon (although they never realize that until they move out).... I miss it.

Me: It seems every time I interview a jazz musician they are either from New York or based there. I bet you know a lot of them, right?

Sara: Kind of...

Me: Let's talk about your music, Sara. I downloaded your albums from iTunes. Your first one is self titled, but you are are playing as Sara Serpa Quartet, and the second one "Praia" is just you. What happened to the quartet, Sara?

Sara: The quartet is in Portugal and I am in the States. The first album was kind of an experiment, the first time I went to a studio to record my music. The musicians were amazing but I was terrified. 

Me: Your song titles are both in English and Portuguese but you are not singing in either. How do you determine what language the song titles are gonna be in?

Sara: I think that at some point, and although Portuguese is my language, I started wanting people to understand what the title of my tunes mean, specially the musicians with whom I play with, so I started giving them English titles... but it's been a bit arbitrary. It depends on my mood, I guess.

Me: You are kinda scatting on the albums, Sara. Do you make that up as you go, or do you write the words... if you call them words. Explain your singing technique.

Sara: I like to hear the sound of the voice, just as it is. I call it singing. I don't feel it's scat, but I don't have any specific name for it. It's like when you hear instrumental music... you kind of imagine the instrumentalist is talking to you through sound, but there aren't any words either. It's up to the listener to be involved with the music and creative as well.

Me: I have to ask you about the title "Praia." What does that mean?

Sara: It means "Beach." The song recalls the beach where I spent my summer childhood and teenage times, in Portugal, in Sintra. I grew up used to the presence of the sea and ocean shore in my life, and I definitely need it to be happy.

Me: And that album cover. Where was that taken? I have to show it here...

Me: I don't like to get messy myself, and it looks like you are covered in sand. Was that fun? How long did that photo shoot last? It looks like torture to me.

Sara: It was easy and quick. Basically we just got a bag of sand from the beach, spread it on a table... nothing very difficult. It's like when you're at the beach lying in the sun.

Me: Let's talk about your latest release "Kitano Noir." It's you and Ran Blake. How did you two first meet?

Sara: Ran Blake is a very important piano player, in the history of jazz. He was my teacher at New England Conservatory. We met in Boston, he's a very mythical figure over there. Everybody would mention Ran Blake in very respectful and admiring way. I heard him playing a solo piece at the Jordan Hall once, a tribute to Jaki Byard and was immediately fascinated by him. I think everybody should listen to his two albums with the vocalist Jeanne Lee... "The Newest Sound Around" and "You Stepped Out of a Cloud."

Me: Did you like recording with somebody else?

Sara: I liked recording with my other teacher and amazing musician, the pianist Danilo Perez... I have learned so much watching him in studio. He's an incredible artist, composer, improviser... And with my quintet, for the new album that's coming out in September.

Me: On "Camera Obscura," you first studio album you did with Ran Blake you are singing actual words, which makes it easy to understand. Who did the songwriting on this album, you or Ran?

Sara: On "Camera Obscura," we chose some jazz standards, one song of mine that is based on a poem of a Portuguese poet, and two songs of Ran... so it's a combination of originals with old jazz songs.

Me: Do you play an instrument, Sara, or do you just sing?

Sara: I play piano as well.

Me: Before you became a singer you studied psychology, which I am sure being a singer you get to date more. I went out with a psychologist about twenty years ago, and all she did was analyze me, which makes it no fun on a date. Anyway, what made you choose professions? Did you secretly want to be a singer for a long time?

Sara: Dating has nothing to do with what you choose to do in your life. Music was just the natural path for me. It happens that I use my voice as my instrument, but it could be anything else. Music involves many aspects in your life, not just the singing aspect.

Me: When did you realize you could sing? 3 years old?

Sara: Everybody can sing...! We are musical creatures by nature.

Me: You never heard me sing, Sara. Okay, what's next for you, my dear? Are you and Ran planning a tour, and will your next album be with him, someone different, or just yourself?

Sara: Ran and I will tour in 2015, probably a few dates in Europe. I have a new album coming out in September, called "Coast to Coast." It features a group of NYC based musicians that I love: André Matos on guitar, Kris Davis on piano, Ben Street on bass and Ted Poor on drums.

Me: Thanks so much for being here. Why don't you go ahead and plug your websites and anything else you want to. I wish you lots of luck, and hope you get to come back to the Phile soon.

Sara: Thank you for having me here! Saraserpa.com, soundcloud.com/saraserpa,   saraserpa.com/wordpress/.

Okay, kids, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. I am tired, hungry and starting to get a headache. Anyway, thanks to Sara for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Emanuel Lundgren from the band I'm From Barcelona. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker