Pheaturing Claire Dickson

Hey, kids, it's Monday, welcome to the Phile. What's up? I hope you've got a tissue nearby, because you're going to need it for this one. More than 400 students gathered last week outside the home of Ben Ellis, a teacher at their Christ Presbyterian Academy in Nashville, TN, who is battling cancer. Nate Morrow, headmaster of the school, told "ABC News," "It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my entire life... He is one of the kindest and intentionally loving people I've ever met in my life... I think that's what really characterizes him. He's always pursuing other people in wanting to get to know them and love them." Ellis has been teaching at the school since 2008 and was diagnosed with cancer last year. How did he feel about the students gesture? Ellis told "ABC News," "In that moment, I felt like I was not alone." Oh, what's that spill on the ground? Just our melted hearts. Get well soon, Mr. Ellis, there are students waiting for your triumphant return.
Mere days after you stopped imagining Hitler's alleged micropenis, a new rumor about the Fuhrer's sex life has emerged... he liked to lay on his back and have women poop on him during sex. This story isn't going to get any less gross, just as a heads up, and not just the man's-inhumanity-to-man grossness that Hitler facts usually involve. According to the "Daily Star" (and Wikipedia), it wasn't just on him, but in his mouth. In fact, it was even suggested he couldn't have normal sex. He supposedly even had scat sex with his niece Geli Raubal once, which is, astonishingly, so far away from the worst thing that Adolf Hitler ever did. These are the findings of a psychological assessment dossier from the U.S. Office of Strategic Services, the precursor to the CIA, according to the "Daily Star." The dossier was first published to the world in 1972, but they're getting a lot of attention now because Hitler's sex life is, like, trending on Facebook and stuff. Anyway, the documents supposedly also reveal that Hitler liked to be kicked during sex (bet there are a lot of people reading this that are going to be like "me too, Hitler!") and that he loved boning "peasant girls." Said one Nazi informant, "When they stand in the fields and bend down at their work so that you can see their behinds, that’s what he likes, especially when they’ve got big round ones. That’s Hitler’s sex life. What a man." You are what you eat, and Hitler literally liked to eat shit. Allegedly.
A 5th grader from Riverview Elementary School in Fort Mill, South Carolina was forced to wear a jacket all day at school, including in the heat when she went out for recess, because her teacher deemed her top "inappropriate." Alicia Rogers is speaking out on behalf of her daughter, Jordan, claiming that her top was not in violation of the school's dress code when she wore a criss-cross back top to school on September 1st, and that the teacher mishandled the situation according to the school's own policy. According to "KFVS12," the school's dress code says that kids (or, let's be real... girls) are not to wear "tank tops, tops with spaghetti string straps over the shoulders, and other tops that expose a student's stomach or midriff," and Rogers is confident that her daughter's top did not fall into those categories. Plus, possible heat stroke is a bit more important than bare shoulders, right? Come on, Riverview Elementary School. This is the shirt at the center of the controversy...

Furthermore, according to the school's website, teachers who have issues with student's apparel are supposed to send them to the principal. Rogers is claiming that this teacher failed to comply with policy when they took the matter into their own hands. Rogers is now demanding an apology from the school and is planning on speaking in front of the Fort Mill School Board about the incident. She also says that she is speaking up to set an example for her daughter. "I wanted to take this situation where she felt completely powerless, and I wanted to give her a chance to kind of turn that into empowerment to stand up."
A new study in the "Journal of Marriage and Family" is saying that couples who share the chores have more sex. This study contradicts studies done as recently as 2012, which said couples have more sex when women are in charge of the chores, because gender roles are out, and sharing responsibilities with your significant other is in, baby! Another study, done by The University of Alberta in 2015, had a similar outcome: "male-female couples had better and more frequent sex when men chipped in with the chores," according to the Huffington Post. It makes a lot of sense. If you split the work load, you fight less and have more time to bone. Plus, no one is "in the mood" after having to clean someone else's pubes out of the drain. Wanna get laid? Go scrub the toilet.
Despite being completely fictional, Princess Jasmine from Aladdin is getting heat over the updated, more conservative costume that she wears as a face actor in Disney Parks... and yet no one seems to care about Aladdin's more covered-up look. Here they are side-by-side...

Damn, that new costume seems kind of warm for Agrabah, but at least it will protect her from those Arabian sunburns. According to "Orlando Weekly," people have speculated Jasmine's costume has changed due to guests complaining about her original outfit showing too much skin. Others have speculated Disney covered her up because the actress playing Jasmine was getting catcalled or harassed by adult male park goers. That's stupid as Jasmine is not played by an actress... she's real. Preserve the magic, people. Regardless of the reason, change is hard, and people are having a hard time warming up to Jasmine's new duds. Not surprisingly, no one is really talking about Aladdin's updated look. He went from wearing a chest-baring vest and fez to wearing what looks like an ill-fitting marching band costume complete with bejeweled headpiece. But his change of costume hasn't created much of a hubbub at all. Even for fictional women... you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.
So, Halloween is not to far away and there's some costumes I'm already tired of seeing. Like the Zika virus...

After the 2014 sexy ebola costume happened, this was inevitable. People already tried out the Zika costume during the Rio Olympics, and it's a soul-sucking idea. It's back to school season and this month I am showing you some awkward back to school pics.

The '80s were a magical time. Recently I went to the book store and saw this book that kinda made no sense...

Hmmm. I don't get it. There's one thing I noticed this year on CNN, and that is the graphic department is trolling Trump. Check it out...

That's real, people. Do you kids like Oreo's? There's a new flavor of Oreo's that just came out.

Get it at Walmart now. Speaking of Walmart, the greeters are slightly different nowadays.

Ha! Hey, did you see Hillary Clinton's Monica Lewinsky impersonation?

Man, could that picture be anymore blurry? You get the idea. Alright, so, you know I love in Florida, right? Well, there's things that that happen in Florida that happen nowhere else in the universe. That's why I have a pheature called...

On a Saturday morning, 19-year-old Carmen Chamblee was arrested for setting her ex-boyfriend's car on fire in Clearwater, Florida only to find out after the fact that, oops, she'd burned the wrong car. Ladies, let's remember... when planning to go all Left Eye on your ex's ass, it's really important to make sure whatever property you're setting on fire actually belongs to them. She started the fire in the trunk of what she thought was her ex-boyfriend's car on August 28th and was seen by witnesses leaving the scene of the crime on a bicycle. A few days later, the Clearwater Police Department released footage of the suspect feeding the flames, and Chamblee was identified. She's now being charged with second-degree arson and probably first-degree poor decision-making.

If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. Okay, so, the other day my son and I were talking about how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together. That show is not exactly how I remember it...

"Oscar, I've got fifty bucks and I need a sample of Bert's DNA. And it's go to be... fresh."
"Sure. I've got Ernie's toothbrush and Abby Cadabby's shoes."
"You can't be serious... I mean, you've got to have better than that!"
"Maybe, but nothing I feel like parting with."

Meet 9-year old Amariyanna “Mari” Copeny from Flint, Michigan. She is currently serving as “Little Miss Flint.” Last May, she participated in a historic visit to Flint from President Obama after she wrote him a letter about what she was doing to bring attention to Flint's water crisis. The Trump campaign decided to go to Flint, too, and he also met with the 9-year-old darling. Here was their photo together...

Mari is the face of what many voters are thinking. So much so that she should be allowed to vote. The lucky Trump guard seems to be the only person who avoided seeing it at all. But Mari's face says it all.

Oreo
Oreo is a delicious sandwich cookie that never wanted to be the go-to metaphor for interracial threesomes.

Today's guest is a talented jazz singer whose album "Scattin' Doll" came out when she was 14-years-old. Please welcome to the Phile... Claire Dickson.

Me: Hello, Claire, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Claire: Great! Thanks so much for interviewing me!

Me: You are one the youngest guest I ever had on the Phile, Claire. How old are you?  

Claire: I'm 19-years-old.

Me: I think it's amazing someone your age is into jazz and the blues. Did you grow up listening to jazz, Claire?

Claire: When I was 11 my dad played an Ella Fitzgerald CD for me and I fell in love with the music immediately. I'm always trying to recruit more young people into the jazz world!

Me: As far as blues music goes, how can someone so young like really know what the blues is?

Claire: I don't know, I just sing them!

Me: What music do you listen to?

Claire: Jazz and blues, of course!!

Me: Okay, but who exactly?

Claire: I listen to Sarah, Ella, Duke, Bird, all those jazz greats! I also like Roberta Gambarini and Kurt Elling. Although now I mostly listen to jazz and blues I also listen people like Joni Mitchell and Paul Simon. Also, my sister is currently obsessed with Sondheim musicals, so lately I've been having to hear a lot of that.

Me: Most kids your age listen to Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga and would not even know who Ella is. Do you have your friends listen to the records you like... broaden heir horizons?

Claire: I know a few people my age who like jazz, but mostly they're into pop music. But at least, because of me, they know about it. Part of what I would like to do is to get more young people into jazz.

Me: Claire, where are you from?

Claire: I live in Medford, MA. Which is near Boston.

Me: When did you first start to perform? My son is 16 and has done a few plays in school when he was younger. Is that how you first started to realize you wanted to be a performer?

Claire: I used to do a lot of musical theater, but I've wanted to perform and be on stage ever since I can remember! I officially started performing when I was three.

Me: When you perform on stage doing your own music, do you get nervous?

Claire: I hardly ever get nervous. I'm so comfortable and have so much fun with this music.

Me: You mentioned your sister... what other siblings do you have? What do they think of your music?

Claire: I have an older brother and older sister who are both in their twenties. They both think my singing is cool. Then I have a younger sister who likes jazz in moderation. But she puts up with it.

Me: Are your parents musical as well?

Claire: Yes! My dad plays the clarinet and my mother sings.

Me: Congrats on winning the Downbeat Student Award. "Downbeat" is a jazz magazine, right? What did you win and when did you win?

Claire: I won as a blues/pop/rock soloist in the junior high school level and I won as a vocal jazz soloist in the junior high school level. "Downbeat" is the granddaddy of American music magazines and I am really honored to have received these awards!

Me: Did you ever think about trying out for "American Idol" when it was on TV?

Claire: I let my parents worry about that stuff, I just concentrate on singing and learning.

Me: Okay, let's talk about your album "Scattin' Doll," Claire. When did that album come out?

Claire: It came out in April 2011.

Me: I am lucky enough to have a copy of it, Claire. It was recorded when you were twelve, right? How did you end up recording an album of jazz material so young?

Claire: It was recorded in two sessions. One when I was twelve and one when I was thirteen. I actually wanted to record so that I could enter the "Downbeat" competition.

Me: Jazz pianoist Ran Blake discovered you when you were performing at a Cambridge Club, is that right? Tell the readers that story. He had you perform somewhere after, am I right?

Claire: I had my thirteenth birthday concert in January 2010 at a place called the Lilly Pad. Ran Blake happened to stop in. He actually only heard me sing one or two songs but he emailed me the next day and said he wanted me to perform on a concert in October. He kept his promise and more than six months later I got to sing at Jordan Hall. It was really fun!!

Me: I have to ask, what were you doing performing at a club so young?

Claire: Well, I love the music and clubs are one of the places available to perform it. The places I have played are nice restaurant-type clubs, not seedy bars! I have also played at arts centers, parks, folk clubs, concert halls.

Me: Anyway, back to your debut album. Did you pick out the songs personally on what you wanted to record?

Claire: For the first session I hadn't even been singing jazz for a year, so I didn't know many songs. I just did the songs I was most comfortable with and knew the best. But for the second session there were a lot more songs to choose from, so for that really did pick the songs I wanted to record.

Me: Who named the album "Scattin' Doll"? It sounds better then "Scattin' Kid," doesn't it?

Claire: My dad thought of that. It's kind of a play on the song "Satin Doll."

Me: There's one song on it I have to ask you about, Claire. The last song on the album is called "Ornithology/How High the Moon." I am 47-years-old and don't know what ornithology is, and there's you at 12 or 13 singing about it. Do you know what it means?

Claire: Yeah. I read about it in the Smithsonian. Basically, it's the study of birds.

Me: Ahhh. Claire, thanks so much for being on the Phile. What's next for you? Will you be recording a new album?

Claire: Thank you!! I hope to do more performing and maybe more recording.

Me: Why don't you go ahead and plug your website or anything else you want to. I wish you a lot of luck and continued success and I hope you come back to the Phile one day. All the best, Claire.

Claire: Buy my cd: cdbaby.com/cd/clairedickson, become a fan on Facebook: facebook.com/pages/Claire-Dickson/198478253108. Website is: clairedicksonmusic.com.

Me: Thanks, Claire. Great job.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Claire for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday with jazz saxophonist Geoff Vidal. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Giulia Millanta

Hey there, welcome to the Phile, kids, for a Sunday. Today in "Headlines You Never Thought You'd See But Totally Make Sense While Being Both Hilarious and Sad," a woman is apparently suing her parents for posting embarrassing pictures of herself as a baby to Facebook. The 18-year-old woman from Austria (who is choosing to remain anonymous) claims that over the past 7 years, her parents posted over 500 pictures of her as a baby without permission. Despite her protests, they will not delete them, so now she's taking it to court. Their family get-togethers are probably super fun, right?Her father reportedly feels that he took the photos, therefore he should be able to post them. But, she told "The Local," "They knew no shame and no limit... and didn’t care whether it was a picture of me sitting on the toilet or lying naked in my cot... every stage was photographed and then made public." This is the first case of its type in Austria, but her lawyer, Michael Rami, thinks she has a good chance of winning when her case is tried in November. If he can prove that her parents posting the pictures on a social media site is a violation of her right to a personal life, they could lose. Based on the outcomes of similar cases in other countries, her parents might be forced to compensate her financially for "pain and suffering." They'd also have to cover her legal costs. And their reign of photo terror would come to an abrupt end. This is important news for anyone whose parents refuse to stop posting that one picture of them running naked through a sprinkler in the backyard at the age of 3 with a blue crayon shoved up their nose. Hypothetically.
The folks at the real estate blog Estately handle home listings in every part of the country, so they've seen pretty much every town name America has to offer... and they collected all the really odd ones into one map and one really big list. Normally, Estately produces quirky maps based on big data... like "The Most Famous Kevin From Every State," "What Every State Googles More Than Any Other," or "What Professions Can Afford To Live In Every City"... but these are just "the weirdest" town names. It's hard to argue with their picks, though, unless you don't see anything odd with living in towns called Coupon, Worms, Ding Dong or Dickshooter. Here's Estately's Florida list of weird town names, along with a few listings, just in case you're life's dream is to have a hilarious address. Briny Breezes, Bunker Donation, Cabana Colony, Christmas, Cocoa, Cooks Hammock, Couch, Dundee, Early Bird, Feather Sound, Floridatown, Frostproof, Golf, Hill ‘n Dale, Howey-in-the-Hills, Leisure City, Lulu, Mayo, Needmore, Plant City, Sopchoppy, Spuds, Two Egg, Waldo, Watergate, Whisper Walk, Yeehaw Junction. I heard of six of those towns.
A flock of conspiracy theorists knew Taylor Swift was trouble when she walked in, because she's a clone born from the DNA of a renowned satanist. Stay with me on this one. With her particular pout, some people believe Swift bares an uncanny resemblance to Zeena Schreck LaVey, the daughter of the founder of the Church of Satan. So, the First Daughter of satanists. A clip of LaVey on "Good Morning L.A." back in the day has gone viral (because of the Swift resemblance, not because of a renewed interest in Satanism). Twitter and Tumblr are on to this likeness, debating whether Swift is a clone, reincarnation, or relative of the satanic priestess. This is a picture of the two side by side...

Theorists are speculating that this cloning is part of a vast Illuminati plot. The theory has been around for a year, and the sheeple are just beginning to wake up. If Swift has made a deal with the devil, wouldn't that just be another man she's orchestrated a relationship with?
In a case of creative but self-destructive problem solving, 70-year-old Kansas City resident Lawrence John Ripple robbed a bank and then waited until police came because he'd rather go to prison than continue to live with his wife. One way or another, he will probably achieve his goal. On the afternoon of Friday, September 2nd, Ripple handed the bank teller a note reading, "I have a gun, give me money." Ripple then sat on the floor until a security guard approached him, at which point he told the guard, "I'm the guy you're looking for." Police arrived soon after, because the bank Ripple had chosen to rob, the Bank of Labor, was on the same block as police headquarters. Later, he told bemused investigators that his most recent argument with his wife had convinced him he "no longer wanted to be in that situation." In fact, according to the FBI report (all bank robberies fall under FBI jurisdiction), "Ripple wrote out his demand note in front of his wife... and told her he’d rather be in jail than at home." It's unclear whether the argument that sparked this took place in the bank. While all bank robberies have to be prosecuted for obvious reasons, one hopes that this bizarre case ends without too much drama, considering no one was hurt. Worst case scenario, though, Ripple still gets his wish.
A Russian man had the ultimate kitchen nightmare, worse than your botched soufflé: a DIY circumcision. The 38-year-old man, known only to the press as Roman A., wasn't inspired to spontaneously convert to Judaism but rather was suffering a painful penis condition. The amateur surgeon/mohel, who lives in the city of Noginsk, was suffering from phimosis, a condition where the foreskin is too tight to retract from the head of the penis. Roman said he was in excruciating pain and couldn't even stand to pee, and when he went to doctors, they refused to operate because of the risks.The brave soul had no choice but to do it himself, and ended up calling an ambulance. Phimosis is said to be common in toddlers and children, but not in older men. The bris is the last resort, but it carries risks like bleeding and infection. Hopefully Roman and his penis have recovered and he can now pee in peace.
So, kids, gets what is around the corner? Halloween. It's coming up soon. Here's an Halloween costume I'm sick of seeing months in advance...

Harambe. He had a tough year. No need to make it worse. Don't get a gorilla suit. There's one thing that I love and that is inanimate objects that look like faces. Check it out...

Hahaha. There's one thing I noticed this year on CNN, and that is the graphic department is trolling Trump. Take a look to see what I mean... this is 100% real, kids.

It's back to school season, and this month I am showing you awkwards pics of kids on their first day back at school.

Is this a throwback photo, or is she an extra on "Stranger Things"? Okay, so over my life people have made fun of my last name... Peverett. I have been called "Pervert" soooo many times. I always say when someone calls me that that it's Prevert... I already did it while the pervert is thinking about it. Anyway, there's some people with a lot worse names in the world.

See what I mean? Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, it's...

Top Phive Things Revealed By Trump's Physical 
5. Technically, he's a 267-pound, man-shaped malignant tumor.
4. His colon is packed solid with undigested Trump Steaks.
3. His forked tail has a terrible case of eczema.
2. He desperately needs to "Make His Cholesterol Levels Great Again."
And the number one thing revealed in Trump's physical was...
1. Everything he's said about the size of his penis is true. Unfortunately, it's not attached to his body.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Alright, it's football season so it's time once again for my friend Jeff and I to talk football.

Me: Jeff, hey there, how's it going?

Jeff: Good to be back on the Phile. Just in the home stretch for my latest book when I finish off the series I'm writing. Now I know how George Lucas felt with Return of the Jedi.

Me: Okay, so, how did we do with last weeks picks?

Jeff: I went 0-2 in the first week, while you went 1-1 plus the Giants won.

Me: Yes! I'm in the lead! Alright, so, what is the latest NFL news?

Jeff: The big news is quite a few injuries through the first week, but I would say the biggest news is that the New England Patriots won with their backup quarterback since Tom Brady is serving the first game of his four game suspension. There was quite the impressive comeback as well, coming down from 17 points down by the Kansas City Chiefs.

Me: And like you said, the Giants won.

Jeff: Not only was it a Giants win, but you beat your rival which is always a good thing too. Now granted they had a rookie quarterback in who will serve as their back up when Romo comes back, but a win against your rival is still a huge win!

Me: Now if we can only beat the Saints in a few hours. Okay, so, let's do this weeks picks. I say Redskins by 3 and your Steelers by 4.

Jeff: Good luck. My picks are New England by 4 and Seattle also by 4.

Me: Great. I'll see you here next Sunday.

Okay, so, my son and I were talking the other day how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together. Looking at the show now, it's just not the same. Take a look at what I mean...

"I tried, Ernie. I tried so hard. I met a woman named Tina. She had a dog named Louise. We got married. I had a job selling insurance. It didn't work out. I want to come back."
"Tima was choked to death with Louise's collar, wasn't she?"
"How... his did you know? Did you follow me?"
"No, Bert. You've been following me. It's been twelve years. There's been seven 'Tina's.' All with dogs. You end it the same way."
"Is... this real? Right now?"
"Let the knife answer that."

Hmmm. I don't know what I think of that graphic. Anyway, today's guest is a very talented musician and singer from Italy whose latest album "Moonbeam Parade" is now available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Giulia Millanta.

Me: Hello, Giulia, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Giulia: Hi, I’m great thanks. I’m sipping white wine on a terrace overlooking the Mediterranean sea…

Me: Okay, I was going to say that's a very fancy way of spelling Julia, that it's almost Italian looking... then I found out you ARE from Italy. Where in Italy are you from?

Giulia: Florence. And, it’s not fancy…we just don’t have J in our alphabet…

Me: So, what's Florence like?

Giulia: Old, charming, crowded.

Me: You now live in Austin, Texas, am I right? When did you move to the states, Giulia?

Giulia: In 2012.

Me: How did you choose Austin to be the place to move to? Is it because of the HUGE music scene there?

Giulia: Well, that of course. I visited some friends there, played a couple of shows, loved it…

Me: Austin is on my bucket list of places to go to. What's your favorite thing about Austin?

Giulia: I can wear a raccoon tail and go grocery shopping or out for a drink and no one really cares…it’s totally normal. A few days ago I spotted a guy at the bus stop dressed like Superman…

Me: Maybe it was Superman. So, was it a culture shock for you moving to the states?

Giulia: I’m constantly shocked. Not just culturally.

Me: Giulia, you speak four languages, am I right? What are they? I speak five languages... English, American, Canadian, Australian and South African. Actually, I speak 6 if you count Jibberish. Haha. I'm so stupid.

Giulia: Well, you are not stupid, you are spoiled… You know you can go everywhere and be understood (sort of). In Europe we all are crammed on a small surface. A lot of diversity, in terms of languages, life styles, food, habits… So it’s natural (at least for me) to feel the need to discover what’s around. I speak Italian, English, Spanish (completely fluent), I understand French. I’m learning German right now.

Me: So, what did your family think about you moving to the states?

Giulia: AH. They gave up on me a long time ago! My mom calls me “the nomad." I moved to Spain in 2005. Also, I am an MD but never practiced… So they are used to my being “unconventional," I guess.

Me: Your new album "Moonbeam Parade" is your fifth album, am I right? Did you release the other four in Italy?

Giulia: No, only the first two. Number 3, 4 and 5 in Austin.

Me: So, growing up in Italy what music did you listen to?

Giulia: I used to listen to the vinyl I had at home: Simon and Garfunkel, Pink Floyd, Neil Young, Joan Baez, and Mozart, Beethoven… some folk music from all over the world.

Me: Who were your influences growing up?

Giulia: All of the above. Then I fell in love with Tom Waits, but not until 2011.

Me: I heard the CD and really, really like it. You have a great voice. Have you always sang since you were a kid?

Giulia: Yes, I still have a cassette tape of me at age 5 singing “Scarborough Fair"... but my dad (who taught me how to play guitar) used to tell me I wasn’t a good singer... Then I took opera at age 24.

Me: Do you do all your own song writing, Guilia?

Guilia: Yes, most of it. I co-wrote a handful here and there and I like cover songs too.

Me: You have a pretty impressive band on the CD... one of the band members played with Bob Dylan, am I right? Are you a fan of Dylan? Did you hear any cool stories?

Guilia: He still does and no, I’m not a fan of Dylan…sorry! But Charlie Sexton is a great guy and an awesome player. I’m a big fan of his! Also, I have Hunt Sales on the record, who used to play with David Bowie.

Me: Do you go to concerts a lot? What was the first concert you saw?

Guilia: Tina Turner. The best. I was a little girl.

Me: Okay, let's go back to your album... "Moonbeam Parade." Where did the title come from?

Guilia: "Moonbeam Parade" is about all the creatures we encounter at night, once the lights are out. Your fears, your demons, your ghosts. They parade in front of you. You can watch or you can follow… but anyhow, you better make friends with them!

Me: Giulia, you are a really good guitarist... do you like to play acoustic or electric better?

Guilia: Thank you! Well, I played acoustic my whole life. For this record, under the advice of my friend and co-producer George Reiff, I started playing the electric. It’s a new experience and so far I like it!

Me: What make of guitar do you play or prefer?

Guilia: I don’t have one. It’s like friendship. If a guitar speaks to me and enchants me, then I like it! 

Me: Someone said that you are "a dash of Piaf, a sprinkle of Lady Day, a pinch of Norah Jones and a teaspoon of Madeline Peroux..." I have no idea who those people are except for Norah Jones... who I have been trying to get on the Phile for years. Do you know who the others are?

Guilia: You don’t know who Lady Day (Billie Holiday) is???? Edith Piaf??? Stop reading this and go listen to them!!!!!

Me: Billie Holiday, yes, I know who that is. Okay, so, I saw the cover of your album "Dropping Down" and it looks like you were falling? I have to show it here...

Me: It's a great photo. Were you falling?

Guilia: I don’t reveal my secrets. But yes, I died. Made a deal with the devil and came back.

Me: Haha. So, who did the drawings on the "Moonbeam Parade" album cover? Did you come up with the idea?

Guilia: Yes, the idea is mine. The awesome drawings are by Gabriel Rhodes (also guitar player on the record).

Me: So, I am sure you have done concerts in Europe and over here... what do you prefer and what was your favorite concert you played?

Guilia: I don’t know. I like places where people listen and pay attention. I don’t know. That can happen everywhere…

Me: I have to ask you about this... you do house concerts... I worry about people doing house concerts... you never know what the persons house is gonna be like or what they are gonna be like. Does that worry you?

Guilia: No and yes. People are the same in a house or in a bar… Usually at a house concert people are quieter and more attentive.

Me: And at these concerts you cook for them? Hmmmm. What do you cook? Do you bring your own ingredients? How much does this cost and will you come to Clermont in Florida? Hahahaha.

Guilia: I do Italian cuisine. The price... depends on the menu you chose, but it’s fair! And yes, I will come to Florida; actually, I have another house concert to schedule there so we can make it work!

Me: So, what's next for you, Giuilia? Will you be going on tour behind this album?

Guilia: Yes. I am on tour now. I am in Italy. I have shows here and then Holland, Germany, Belgium. Then back home and I will be on the East Coast mid November; then more shows around Texas, Oklahoma…

Me: Thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope this was fun and I hope you'll come back soon. Will you?

Guilia: Sure, if you‘ll have me.

Me: Of course! Go ahead and mention your website and continued success. Take care.

Guilia: Giuliamillanta.com. Thank you!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz and Guilia. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Claire Dickson who was supposed to be on the Phile a few weeks ago. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Go Giants!

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Phile Alum Lee Negin

Hey there, welcome to the Phile once again for a Monday. How are you, kids? Let's start with a story about North Korea banning sarcasm. Shocking. Supreme Leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un has just banned all sarcasm about himself or his regime, because he totally loves freedom of speech. According to independent.co.uk, functionaries were asked to disseminate the message: there will be no criticism of the leader in any conversation.“One state security official personally organized a meeting to alert local residents to potential ‘hostile actions’ by internal rebellious elements,” a source in Jagang Province told Radio Free Asia’s Korean Service. Wait, how can they tell if a resident is mocking the regime or being, like, totally serious when they say how great Kim Jong Un's new haircut is? Apparently, the Grand Pooh Bah himself has sussed out specific offending remarks, like a “A fool who cannot see the outside world,” a commonly used phrase in N. Korea that just might refer to the glorious leader himself. Calling Kim Jong Un a fool doesn't seem so much like sarcasm as it does straight judgment, but maybe we can chalk up the confusion to the fact that Un has probably never had to experience criticism in person. In which case, will someone please explain to him that it isn't sarcasm when I say, "You're oppressing your people, idiot."
A physician for Hillary Clinton says that the presidential candidate is being treated for pneumonia. Apparently, the presidential candidate has been taking antibiotics since Friday. This statement comes after Clinton was seen leaving a ceremony commemorating the 15th anniversary of the Sept. 11th terrorist attacks in lower Manhattan. Initially, Clinton's campaign claimed the former Secretary of State had "overheated" during the event before abruptly departing. It was only revealed later in the day that Clinton has been receiving treatment for an infection. On one hand, she works even when sick. On the other hand, it's a little shady that her team wasn't more honest about her sudden illness. Clinton spent time recuperating at her daughter Chelsea's New York apartment before being seen again, in good spirits. Trump supporters were quick to jump on this story for many reasons, none of them being genuine concern for the health of a woman. But, mostly, Trump supporters were happy to not have to explain recently resurfaced interview from Sept. 11th 2001 of their candidate gloating about how a building he owns is back to being the tallest in lower Manhattan. So that's the political news today: one candidate made a dramatic exit from a memorial ceremony that fed unsubstantiated rumors that she is harboring untreatable health problems. Meanwhile, audio evidence revealed that the other candidate can't help but make every issue, including unfolding national tragedy, about him. This will continue to unfold for the next eight weeks. Hopefully, we'll all get through this.
A hopeful romantic on the Internet... no, not Tom Hanks... is looking to court Hollywood Sweetheart Meg Ryan and make a real life rom com. Nick (which also happens to be her ex-husband Dennis Quaid's character's name in The Parent Trap… coincidence?), a humble man of 38 years, posted a Craigslist Missed Connection to see if anyone out there had a connection to Ryan.

The Missed Connection is rather tender, filled with smiley emoticons rather than Craigslist's more common "8===>" ones, but the aloofness of the "lol"s is embarrassing for all involved. Nick knows it's far-fetched, but he's seen enough Meg Ryan movies (or read enough of "The Secret") to know that good things will come if he "[puts] this out there in the world and [sees] what comes back." A simple Google search of "Meg Ryan single" suggests that she is unattached, having recently split with John Cougar Mellencamp. This wouldn't be the first time somebody who looks like Meg Ryan falls in love with a stranger, but it would be the first time it wasn't with Tom Hanks. If rom com rules apply, what happens next is obvious... Ryan will hear about this post from a chatty sidekick (a Carrie Fisher or a Rosie O'Donnell), and while apprehensive at first, she'll begin to chat conservatively with Nick before realizing that they understand each other ways in nobody else can. After chatting for a long time, the two will summon the courage to meet, and it'll be the first day of the rest of their lives. Maybe I should write a Missed Connection and try to meet Kelly Clarkson.
Well, here is a "stranger thing" for you. Chelsea Handler had Caleb McLaughlin​, Gaten Matarazzo​ and Millie Bobby Brown, some of the kids who star in "Stranger Things," on her Netflix show "Chelsea" on Thursday. During their interview, Handler told the preteens that if they drink coffee, which Brown and Matarazzo admitted they do, they will become alcoholics. Well, she would know. Of course, Handler's comments were made in jest, and only because she is not really the type of person slated to interview young, innocent minds. The look on Brown's face once she finds out she's headed down the "Chelsea Handler" path was pretty hilarious, though. After the interview, Chelsea played a fake "anti-child" PSA that ended with the tagline, "Kids. They're not that great." You can decide whether that was on purpose or not.
Air China apologized to frequent flyers and a huge chunk of the population for a straight-up racist "warning" in their in-flight magazine.

Air China would likely advise its travelers to fear the MAYOR of London, Sadiq Khan, a Brit with Pakistani parents. The airline decided to apologize for its fear-mongering about spooky ethnic minorities. "As a civil aviation tourist magazine, 'Wings of China' has always been trying to present the local cultures and customs to our vast readers, and eager to exploit the beauty of the world along with our readers. The inappropriate expressions in the article are merely the mistakes made by the editors, and by no means represent the views of the magazine... We also would love to send sincere apologies via Air China to all the readers and passengers who feel uncomfortable because of this." Take precautions when traveling to China, lest you run into the racist writer for the in-flight magazine. Or, don't make such generalizations at all.
I mentioned Kim Jong Un at the top of the entry... and wanted t say he is looking slightly different nowadays.

"I was born ready. I'm Kim fucking Jong-un." Haha. I was changing the channel on the TV the other day and I caught something that was strange on "Wheel of Fortune."

Strange. At least it's not the Giants. Did you ever play with PlayMobil's when you were a kid? I always waanted them but there's sooo many. Like this set for example...

There's one thing I noticed about this election year, and that is the graphic department is trolling Donald Trump. Check it out.

That is 100% real, people. I don't know if you know this, and why would you, unless you know me, but I carry an EpiPen on myself all times just in case I get stung ever by a hornet, wasp, bee, fellow jacket, red jacket, blue jacket or whatever. Anyway, I was surprised when I found out about the obscene price increase of EpiPen. Mylan, the manufacturer of EpiPen even has a new logo.

Ha! So, it's back to school season and this month I am showing you awkwards pics of kids on their first day back at school.

Red, white, and outta sight! Last Wednesday, Apple held its semi-annual Special Event, in which the tech giant introduces its new slate of shiny gadgets and explains why they're so much better than the versions you just spent thousands of dollars on. It's always a hoot.Despite some exciting announcements, this year's event was tinged with controversy. Apple confirmed the dreaded rumors that the iPhone 7 would dispense with the headphone jack in favor of (included) wireless earbuds called Air Pods. Old-fashioned wired headsets will still work, but only with a special adapter. If you're one of the many people who were shocked and dismayed by this news, you may have a short memory. This is hardly the first time Apple has blindsided fans with disappointing product announcements. So, I thought I would come up with a new pheature showing the worst offenses in the history of the House that Jobs Built. So, here's...

That has to be one of the worst graphics ever by the way, and the longest pheature name. Anyway...
The Lightning cable (2012)

They called it "lightning" because so many people got burned. At 2012's keynote, Apple introduced the iPhone 5, blowing our minds with its 4-inch screen and LTE support (were we ever so young?). But fans were outraged at the announcement that it would require a new piece of equipment for charging and wired communication: the Lightning cable. Replacing the long-standing 30-pin connector, Lightning would be the new standard for all subsequent Apple products, meaning all previous cables were immediately obsolete unless you bought... you guessed it... an adapter. Sensing a pattern?

If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. Okay, so, there's a guy that wanted to come onto the Phile and tell a joke. The only problem is he's sold, no one understands what he's saying. But, as I;m pretty old myself, I do understand... and could translate. So, please welcome once again to the Phile...

Me: Hello, Alan, welcome back to the Phile. So, let's hear today's joke.

Alan: Old Lady Lovejoy, aged just threescore, whose lusty footboy rode behind before, is in a fit of fondness grown so kind, He rides within who rode before behind.

Me: Hmmm. That's a joke? Anyway, what Alan is trying to say is... A 60-year-old lady started screwing her horny footboy, so now instead of riding on the back of her carriage, he rides inside her vagina. Ha! Alan, it's political season, so, do you have a political joke for us?

Alan: Politics consist of two sides and a fence.

Me: Very good. That's hardly a joke though. Any other jokes real quick?

Alan: A man chiding his wife told her, that she could call nothing hers but herrRing, fillet and hair-lace, nay, her very breech was none of hers. Which the good and harmless woman understanding one night, let something drop into the bed, which he having found out by the smell, ask'd her what was the cause of her so doing: She told him, that whilst she thought her breech hers, she had command over it; but being his, she could not rule another body's arse.

Me: Okay, no one will understand that. Here's what Alan is trying to say... A husband says he owns his wife's butt, so she shits in their bed and says she's not responsible because she doesn't own her ass. Good job, Alan. Alan Raglafart, the 100 year old comedian, everyone. Okay, and now for...

Top Phive Reasons Why The Price Of EpiPens Increased
5. Extensive market research showed that people are willing to pay a little more to make sure that they don't suffocate and die.
4. It was felt that parents spend so much on back to school shopping, they won't even note an extra $600.
3. Users could die at any moment... so it's important to squeeze them for as much money as possible while they still can.
2. Mylan execs were hoping to make enough money to buy that Wu-Tang album off pharma-douche Martin Shkreli.
And the number one reason the price pot EpiPens increased is...
1. The board members were really wanted to see the "New York Post" headline "EpiPen-sive!"

So, you know what this pheature is about by now, right? Let's just get to it.

Zari reads one more verse in the Quran before she straps on her suicide vest.

Today's guest is a Phile Alum whose latest album was “Entheogenic Dharma Music," and is available to buy as a CD on his website. Please welcome back the Phile, the always entertaining and spiritual... Lee Negin.

Me: Leeeee!!!! Hello, sir, welcome to the Phile once again. How have you been?

Lee: JAAAAAAAyson!!!! Please either call me Lee or Sir Lee (I'm often called Surly). You are American, so you can dispense with my title. Just like last night, when Paul rang me for advice (he needed the middle 8 for his new track, and John has left the building) and I called him Sir Paul. He said, "Mate, call me Billy! We go way back!" So, there you have it. Then I heard Kanye in the background shouting, "Tell Lee I'm a genius!" and Kim whispering, "Lee... Kanye found out about us... he saw the tapes!" and I hung up. Oh... yes... I've been trying to keep the dream lucid, thank you.

Me: Huh? Hahaha. I'm British by the way. Anyway. Last time I interviewed you here back in January you were living in Tokyo. Are you still living there?

Lee: Indeed, as we speak. This weekend I am moving near Yokohama (near Tokyo).

Me: Is there a buzz there about the summer Olympics being there in 2020?

Lee: No, not at all. Lots of financial scandals, and the Rio nightmare just ended. Four years is a long way off, and Japan has more pressing things to consider (like missiles being lobbed at us by Fat Boy Kim, people in Fukushima STILL living in temporary, cramped housing, typhoons smacking us left and right, etc.).

Me: Did you watch any of the Olympics this year? You're not a sports fan I don't think, right?

Lee: I don't have a TV, and you're right. I like playing sports more than watching. I feel the same way about porno!

Me: Lee, you are a pretty smart, and wise person with a lot of deep thoughts. So, I have to ask you... there's a crazy election going on this year in the states? Are you glad you are overseas? Haha.

Lee: Crazy erection you say? At my age, I'll take what comes up! Yes, but for more reasons than just the erection, They come and go.

Me: No, election. So, what is your take on it?

Lee: There's an ancient Chinese proverb I am quite fond of, and it is quite apropos to this situation: "Shit makes the corn grow." I want to keep this interview positive so I won't tell you my opinion... which no one cares about, and rightly so. Furthermore, as a part-time Buddhist it behooves me to (UK equals behoves) remind people of the one (and only) thing we can all be sure of: this amalgam of discursive thinking imprisoned in a mobile flesh-sack is going to "die." Fact. So, don't be distracted by the shadow play. Better to spend what little time you have coming to terms with your impending cessation, in whatever way brings you peace of mind and freedom from fear. Politics is just another distraction, and we prefer living in denial (about our inevitable "death"). Dig that! However, I have to share this charming family photo of The Donnie, with his daughter Ivanka and their son. In-breeding will tell!

Lee: My last comment about the erection. A great Zen saying, "The only thing left to do now is have a good laugh." 

Me: True. What do they think of Trump, or Clinton or the election in Japan? Do you know?

Lee: Although Japan is a very homogeneous country, I cannot tell you what "they" think. However, in general, Japanese are pretty apolitical, especially when it concerns a foreign country. Furthermore, it is a very non-confrontational culture, so politics is not a popular topic of conversation (watch the fist-fights at Trump rallies). I know Americans find it hard to believe, but not everyone in the world cares about your internal affairs, even a tawdry one such as this.

Me: You are a professor, Lee, but you weren't teaching in Tokyo, is that right?

Lee: No, I am teaching. No choice in the matter. As I've said many a time, just as video killed the radio star, Internet has all but killed the 'recording artist,' which is my gig. Meaning: no teaching equals no eating!

Me: Alright, let's talk about your new music... you have a CD out called "Entheogenic Dharma Music." What does that title mean, Lee?

Lee: As you know, EDM is a genre of music quite popular these days with the youngsters (electronic dance music). Ninety-nine point nine percent of it is just mindless, vapid disco with the intent of genital stimulation (check the scene in The Matrix where Morpheus makes a speech to the people of Zion, and then they all start dancing and it becomes an orgy. LOL. Looks like a club in Ibiza)! EDM. My challenge was to make my version of EDM, something with a bit more thematic substance and intent, danceable but also suitable for good headphones in a dark room, with eyes closed and a bowl of herbs. As Grace Slick said, "Feed your head." Entheogenic refers to "a chemical substance, typically of plant origin, that is ingested to produce a nonordinary state of consciousness for religious or spiritual purposes." So, marijuana, mushrooms, peyote, MDMA, etc. Dharma is a Sanskrit term used in many Indian religious traditions. As a part-time Buddhist, I use the term in the Buddhistic sense: "In Buddhism (termed dhamma), it is interpreted as universal truth or law, especially as proclaimed by the Buddha" And music means music. So, the intent of the music on this album is reflected in the title.

Me: How long did it take for you to come up with that title?

Lee: Several lifetimes.

Me: The CD was a physical CD with only a 100 made, am I right? Why did you decide to go that route?

Lee: I'm an idealistic gluton for self-inflicted pain and financial loss. So I chose the route of most resistance!

Me: I love CD's and vinyl myself... are you a record buyer or do you like to download music better? 

Lee: I loved vinyl and CDs, and that is still my chosen art form (I make albums, not collections of singles). However, I stopped buying music years ago, and stopped listening to music (except the noize I make) many years ago. There are many reasons for this. It's not unusual for seasoned musicians. In the formative stages, when learning my craft, I was a voracious consumer of music. I have hundreds of albums (vinyl) and CDs, and used to attend concerts frequently. Downloading music is dying now, too (and I was never a fan of it. The quality is shit and the artists get ripped-off big time). Streaming is the deal now, which is even worse for artists as far as making money. The largest downloading 'store' in the world is iTunes. Apple announced a few weeks ago that they will phase out iTunes over the next couple of years and focus solely on streaming... one of the reasons they paid far too much money for shitty quality headphones (Beats). Streaming means more money for Apple, Spotify, etc. and less money for musicians.

Me: The artwork for your releases are always so detailed and very colorful. Who did the artwork for the latest CD? He's British, right?

Lee: Yes, he is an ex-EU British geezer! His name is Bill Brouard, an incredible visionary graphic artist. Actually, I chose this image (he sent me many to use for my projects) and designed a cover from it (added the lettering, done by a Japanese artist I know). So, it was't originally created to be used as this album cover. I think it's suitable for the image/message of this album. He goes by the name Visual Alchemy.

Me: How did you meet him?

Lee: I was introduced. I have been friends for many years with one of the U.K.'s leading collage artists (he did the cover for my recent single, "Frack Art, Let's Dance"). His wife started a business a couple of years ago, selling merchandise at music festivals in the U.K. with images by a select group of artists. She asked me if I'd like to be represented by her (she sells merchandise, like mugs, t-shirts, etc. with some of my artwork on them, as well as other artists). So, I have been working with her in that capacity. madmuglady.co.uk/lee-negin.php#!/LEENEGIN/c/12689203/offset=0&sort=normal. She was working a festival last year, when she espied a very "eccentric looking fellow" walking toward her "booth," a modified hippie bus. Apparently he was wearing a top hat and tails, and had a walking stick!? Perhaps all in white (memories are tricky). In any case, this eccentric fellow approached her and he was carrying a portfolio. He said something about 'these are a few of my artworks, maybe you'll like them." After she found her eyes again (they popped out of her head), she asked him if he had any more like them. He replied "Yes, hundreds." She knows I like to collaborate with talented visual artists for posters, album covers and visuals for my live gigs, so she hooked us up, he and I exchanged emails, he checked me out and he sent me many images to use at my discretion.

Me: I watched your latest video for the song "In the Lucid Moments." I love the imaginary, Lee. Your music is very visual... did you make the video yourself?

Lee: Thank you! Yes, I "made" the video. I edit images together from many sources, including my group of great graphic artists, stock footage I subscribe to (a business; for a monthly subscription fee you get access to a lot of cool stock footage) and archival films and other works that are either Common Copyright (free to use) or the Copyrights have already expired (so, no, I'm not ripping anyone off. Besides, YouTube is very serious about that sort of thing and they regularly check and remove videos that rip off images). I will be releasing a new video soon that I actually made with my cool HD video camera. Another track from "Entheogenic Dharma Music." Stay tuned! youtube.com/user/passingphasemusic.

Me: Last time you were here you were planning on a tour, or doing some shows. Did that happen? How did they go?

Lee: Not yet. Actually, I was offered a live concert in Tokyo on August 28th, but had to turn it down. Bummer.

Me: I think I asked you this before, but you play a lot of instruments... which instrument was your first?

Lee: My mother told me that I was quite a gassy baby, so I guess you could say I played the flatulence horn first. She said I was quite creative, rather like a farting prodigy! Too bad they didn't have samplers then. She could have sampled me and I could do ambient pieces based on a methane tone poem.

Me: What instrument do you prefer to play?

Lee: Accordion and electric-kazoo (together). I love polkas and Benny Hill! I put them through a stack of Marshall amplifiers and make horrendous noise.

Me: Okay, so, you are a musical genius, Lee. coming up with such different sounds.

Lee: Sphincter control, dear boy. As Edison said, "Hard work is another name for genius."

Me: So, I was thinking... I wanna name a few musicians and tell me what you think of them. Ready? 
Alice Cooper?

Lee: Who is that? Ah... You made a typo! I read musicians but you named a hack magician! I seem to remember my grandmother talking about Ms. Cooper. My grandmother used to hang with the Rat Pack in Vegas (you know, Frank, Dino, Sammy and the crew). One night, I think it was in the mid-1950s, my granny went to a small dive off the main strip and saw a magician opening for a trained poodle show, and a guy spinning plates on sticks. She said this magician went by the stage name "Harriet Who Dini." It turned out, after getting booed off stage, my granny took pity and bought her a Jack Daniels neat. The magician told my gran, while sobbing, mascara running down her craggy pock-marked cheeks, "My name is Alice Cooper, and one day I'm gonna be on 'The Ed Sullivan Show'!" That's all I know about Ms. Cooper. I don't like magicians, much. Let's talk about musicians!

Me: Okay, Jimi Hendrix?

Lee: Here...

Me: Pete Townshend?

Lee: Here...

Me: Howard Jones?

Lee: I used to eat at his restaurants when I was a kid with my family. Are they still around? Big chain. Crappy food. They had motels too. Hideous color scheme. Again, let's stick to musicians. The service industry is not my niche.

Me: Ahhhh... Stevie Wonder?

Lee: Here...

Me: Okay, I have to mention one of my favorite tunes of yours is "Bossa Novocaine Salsa (with Cheeze)." Is that song on your new album, Lee?

Lee: Indeed. I'm glad you dig it!

Me: I love that you used the Cheeze character again. For those that don't know, wanna tell them who Cheeze is? 

Lee: Cheeze might be dead, or.... Hard to say. Go hear for more info: cdbaby.com/cd/leenegin12.

Me: Ever think of writing a Cheeze novel or short stories? Do you write stories, Lee?

Lee: I would love to do a graphic novel of the Cheeze saga, and/or a manga style book or series (any manga artists reading this, contact me if interested), and a full-length motion picture... maybe make it in Mumbai, a la Bollywood to make it extra Cheezy! I already did a Cheeze radio play at: cdbaby.com/cd/leenegin12.  "The Cheeze Opera" had a libretto, which I wrote. My undergraduate degree was in English Literature and Writing. I've had some of my poetry published, and used to write short stories. Different lifetime.

Me: Okay, so, last time you were here I asked you what you were dong ten years ago as this is the Phile's 10th anniversary... this time I wanna ask you what was your highlight in the last ten years?

Lee: Regular bowel movements, of course. One highlight was sitting with Jon Astley in his studio on the Thames (London). He is the geezer that mastered/produced The Who, Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, George Harrison, Clapton, ABBA, etc. etc. In fact, he was Pete Townshend's brother-in-law for years. So, this lovely house (in which he had his mastering studio) was Pete's old house, where he (Pete) wrote "Tommy," "Who's Next," ("Life House") material, etc. in that very room we were sitting in. In that room, Pete recorded Thunderclap Newman's great track "Something in the Air." So, Jon was mastering two of my albums, and we were chatting and drinking tea (of course). He was, at that time re-mastering George Harrison's "All Things Must Pass," ABBA's "Greatest Hits," Led Zep and the Who's catalogue (And my two albums, LOL). Jon asked me if I'd like more tea, and I replied "yes." As he was leaving the room to fetch it, he said, "Here is something you might find interesting." and he placed two tape (recording tape masters) boxes on my lap and left the room. I look down and was completely gobsmacked! They were THE ORIGINAL MASTER TAPES for one of the greatest albums in history, "Who's Next" with Pete Townshend's handwritten notes all over the track list label! As a Who fanboy from way back, well, I soiled myself...There are pictures of me with Jon in his studio, and me holding the master tapes on my main Facebook artist's page.

Me: I have to show this pic...

Lee: My fat thumb stroking the ORIGINAL master tape for side 1 of "Who's Next" (dig the date- July 14, 1971). This, regular bowel movements, and returning to making music and videos after a 16 year hiatus. Working with Simon Humphrey in a world-class studio in the U.K. on my album "Hungry Ghosts" (and becoming great pals). (Simon produced/engineered The Clash, Culture Club, The Beach Boys, Hans Zimmer, David Byrne, XTC, Jeff Beck, etc... we mixed my album together. More fun than anything legal). Living in several countries. Some highlights of my minuscule incarnation over the last 10 years.

Me: Thanks so much for being back on the Phile. Go ahead and plug all your websites, Lee. 

Lee: passingphasemusic.com, youtube.com/user/passingphasemusic, leenegin.com, Amazon (internationally) iTunes (ditto), facebook.com/LeeNegin1, twitter.com/umeboshiroshi,  cdbaby.com/Artist/LeeNegin, contact: passingphasemusic@gmail.com.

Me: So, are you working on anything now? Any new projects?

Lee: Yes. Something major. A massive recording project slated for next year. I have already lined up two stellar artists to take part, possibly three (one being a tabla drum virtuoso from India... the other two in the U.K.). Can't say more. It will probably be my swan song... "Lee's Last."

Me: Thanks once again, and keep in touch. All the best, sir.

Lee: Thank you very much, old friend! As I told you, don't use my title. Just call me Billy!

Me: Thanks, Billy.

That does to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Lee for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday with musician Giulia Millanta. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker