Pheaturing Ryan McCarthy From Stepdad

Hey there, welcome to the Phile, kids. It seems that I just did this. Haha. How are you? Well, after a delightfully psychedelic Opening Ceremony, the Rio 2016 Summer Olympics are in full swing. Breaking records, winning medals and taking names, despite some Venus and Serena Williams-related heartbreak, the women of Team USA are making the country (and the gender) proud. Ledecky, only 19-years-old, killed the 400m freestyle, powering so far ahead of the competition that the other swimmers were barely in the frame. Leah Smith won the bronze in the 400m freestyle event, as did Dana Vollmer for the women's 100m butterfly. Jumping, flipping, flying, and making it look easy, Ledecky's fellow 19-year-old received the highest score of any competitor in the floor exercise, beam, and vault events. The commentators couldn't even find something to criticize. The first gold medal for Team USA was won by Virginia (Ginny) Thrasher in the 10m air rifle competition, and Corey Cogdell took bronze for trap shooting. The number one team in the world (USA) beat the number three team in the world (France), and advanced. Carli Lloyd, who scored the winning goals for the 2008 Olympics gold medal, 2012 Olympics gold medal, and 2015 World Cup final, worked her magic scoring the point that won the match 1-0 for the red, white, and blue. Pulling a Katie Ledecky, the U.S. women's basketball team wiped out Senegal with a 121-56 win, breaking their own record for most points scored in the Olympics. The previous record was 114, set in 1992 and tied at the London games.
Marisa Dick, a gymnast competing in the Olympics in Rio, has already accomplished a lot more in her 19 years than most of us lazy slobs have in our entire lives. Not only is she competing against world's most prestigious athletes on an international stage, but she already has a gymnastics move named after her. Yea, she jumps up, does a fancy leg switch thing (that is definitely the technical term, right?) and slams her crotch onto the beam while landing in a split. The long and the short of it is that the dick is hard. It also looks very painful. The move is now officially recognized by the Federation of International Gymnastics under the non-fun name "change-leg leap to free-cross split sit," but the gymnastics world refers to it more commonly as "The Dick." Plus, it is fun to be like "Did you see The Dick!?" or "Your Dick was really nice." Hehehe. However, not everyone finds the name so funny. In a letter to "The Wall Street Journal," one representative from the FIG wrote, "We would like to underline that there are more spectacular new elements expected than her new move. We guess last time it makes the buzz only because of her name.” Oh come on. Have a little fun. Laugh at a very impressive looking move that shares a moniker with a dude's junk. Going down in the history books with a signature move ensures that you will always be remembered, but having a move called "The Dick" pretty much makes you unforgettable.
As if life weren't already enough of a roller coaster, a young woman was kicked out of an amusement park for her attire... and no, the attire in question wasn't a pair of nipple pasties, but rather a gray V-neck like you might see in Gap's athletic section. Bina Ramesh was wearing the gray tee when she went to Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ last month, and was told by a male security guard that in order to enter the park, she'd have to change her shirt. As Banesh explained in a Facebook post, she and her good sport of a guy friend did a little shirt-swap to prove that there was nothing innately offensive about the gray shirt itself. "Apparently, when a boy wears the same top, it's fine, so thank you for swapping shirts with me in the parking lot because we still live in a world of ridiculous double standards and sexism," she wrote. In the comments, she posted a picture of her wearing the offending shirt.

Shield your eyes!
There's so much to learn as a new parent: how to change a diaper, soothe a fussy baby, shut down a stranger when they demand you stop breastfeeding in public. Last week, a mom in Dartford, England, allegedly demonstrated the proper technique for that last one. When a stranger asked her to stop breastfeeding in a public park, she responded by saying "fuck off" and squirting breast milk in the stranger's direction. No wonder people always talk about the beauty of breastfeeding! The story was posted on the "Dartford Gossip Page" by the complaining stranger, who probably naively expected sympathy. The post read, "To the lady Dartford park who thought it was appropriate to breastfeed her baby whist my child and very easily distracted husband sat near by. I don’t think it was necessary for you to react the way you did just because I asked you to go somewhere private, telling me to fuck off and squirting me with your boobs was incredibly uncalled for. I hope you are ashamed of yourself!" Maybe next time you go somewhere with your "very easily distracted husband," you should give him some Vitamin R first. A little Ritalin should keep him focused on what matters (your own boobs). Considering women in the U.K. are legally allowed to breastfeed anywhere in public, Internet commenters leapt to the defense of the mommy feeding her baby. Comments included "you deserve what you got" and "it's you who should be ashamed" and "if ur husband is easily distracted id say thats ur problem." Yikes. That's gotta sting more than breast milk.
People are not happy about Sprite's newest, slut-shaming, wildly confusing ad campaign. Like, in what altered state of mind did the ad execs working for the lemon-lime soft drink Sprite decide that their brand is "sexist dudes at a bar"? Sprite is a soda that children drink at birthday parties because they're not allowed to have beer or even caffeine. How did they get from there to this?

"She's seen more ceilings than Michelangelo." "A 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2!" "You're not popular. You're easy." Huh? Is ad copywriting these days just stealing dumb things that people write on walls next to urinals? Obviously and predictably, many people weren't too happy about these ads. As writer Aimée Lutkin wrote on Jezebel, "Let’s remember that Michelangelo only saw one ceiling, but for a very long time. We should all be so lucky to find a relationship like Michelangelo had with the Sistine Chapel."
So, have you heard of Dick's Pizza? I have no idea where it is but this is it...

Canada. It's in Canada. Do you kids remember this logo?

Well, this year Trump has a very similar logo.

Ha! Alright, so I know most of you are playing "Pokémon Go." Some people are not just playing, their cashing in on it. Like these guys who started a pop-up refreshments stand at a Pokéstop.

Remember in the last Star Wars movie what Kylo Ren's lightsaber looked like? Well, that's not the first time someone that used a lightsaber that looked like that.

Oh, George. Haha. I love kids drawings, and one of the best things about kids drawings is sometimes they don't look that innocent.

Can't believe that URL was available! Hey, did you see this on the Olympics?

That should be the Mindphuck. So, it's summer and I am showing you pics of women in bikini's this year with something not so sexy in the background.

Angela added new photos to the album "Try to Ignore the Cows Pissing." Okay, so, there's one thing you might not know about me and that is I don't like to break the rules. Unlike this guy...

If you can't read it it says "please do not touch." And he's touching. Ugh! So, my son and I were recently chatting about how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together and how that show is so different now. That's why I have a pheature called...

"Hello, police? I'd like to report a rape... Yes, it's the Sesame Street serial rapist... No, officer, it's happening tonight, after he finds the trail of dildos leading to my apartment!"

If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. It's pretty easy. Okay, so, ever hear the saying zero fucks given? Well, some people take that literally, so I thought it'll be fun to have a pheature called...

Pete Fountain 
July 3rd, 1930 — August 6th, 2016
Fountain of Old.

Donald Trump admitted he was wrong, tearing a hole in the space-time continuum. On Friday morning, Donald Trump admitted in a tweet that he was wrong about a video he referred to in a speech about a U.S. payment to Iran and a hostage release in January. Trump claimed he had seen footage of a plane unloading money on the same day the Iranian government released four American prisoners. But that was not the video he saw. The money represented the first payment of a $1.7 billion settlement the Obama administration reached with Iran to resolve a decades-old dispute. It is related to a failed arms deal signed just before the Iranian Revolution in 1979. The settlement by the U.S. was decided on by an international legal tribunal in The Hague. It was made in cash because the U.S. does not have a banking relationship with Iran, as sanctions have blocked the country from international financial systems. The video Trump saw was of hostages being released. That's it. More importantly, his tweet is an unparalleled admission by the Donald of actually being mistaken. A white buffalo, a black swan, a true rarity throughout the entirety of his presidential bid...

It's probably not a coincidence he tweeted it so early in the morning.

The 51st book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Brian Watson will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

Today's guest is the lead singer for the Chicago based band Stepdad whose latest EP "Masterbeast Theatre" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Ryan McCarthy.

Me: Hello, welcome to the Phile, Ryan. So, how are you?

Ryan: Wacky.

Me: So, I have to ask, any of you guys in the band really stepdads? If not, where did the band name come from?

Ryan: Nope, it came from an Internet band name generator. It has no meaning whatsoever and we've since thought of cooler names, but it's too late to change!

Me: For the readers that don't know, guys, tell them who is in the band. You had a few different people in the band, right?

Ryan: Well, we started as a duo, just Mark and I. Now we've got Ultramark, Nathan K. and Ben Weissenborn. So 4 of us.

Me: Ryan, your music is very 80s sounding. How would you describe it?

Ryan: 8-bit power pop.

Me: I listened to your EP "Masterbeast Theatre" and really like it. I also like your first release "Ordinaire Ep" that was released years ago. You came a long way since then, right?

Ryan: Yeah, "Ordinaire" was recorded in my bedroom studio in our old apartment.

Me: I do have to tell you, though, with 10 songs, that's not an EP, that's an LP. That's pretty much a full release. Ryan. Was it planned to have 10 songs?

Ryan: Well, the original EP had 8 songs. The re-release has 2 bonus tracks. Plus we had it remastered and got some fancy new artwork.

Me: Like I said, I like your new EP "Masterbeast Theatre." I love the title... great pun. I do have to say that is one freakin' crazy art on the cover. Do people still say covers, for the front artwork? Anyway, who is responsible for it?

Ryan: He is a friend of ours named John Bailey. Phenominal artist! He designed our t-shirts as well.

Me: Where did the title from the EP come from?

Ryan: Ben Beutel-Gunn

Me: Okay, so, you had a very bad thing that happened when you were making this album, right?

Ryan: Yeah, our van was broken into and several things were stolen from us, the most important of which was the hard drive that contained a good chunk of what was to become our new album. Several tasty jams and critical bangers were lost in what we like to call “The Great Banger Heist of 2014." Despite what was lost, 4 of the songs were already finished. These are the survivors. The ones that avoided capture.

Me: Over the years you guys have a lot of animal themes... Parrots, wolves, centipedes, jungles, beasts... do you guys like animals?

Ryan: Everybody likes animals. C'mon.

Me: I like the song "My Leather, My Fur, My Nails" from your first EP... which is also animal related. What is that song about, Ryan?

Ryan: We like hearing what other people think it's about.

Me: So, anyway, who does most of the songwriting?

Ryan: Mark and I write the songs. It's a very uncollaborative process. Mark and I will write songs on our own and then filter them through each other until they are done. Mark writes the lyrics and I do the production.

Me: You guys are based in Chicago, right? Do you all still live there? I love Chicago, but haven't been there in awhile. Where is the best place to eat there? Is that Michael Jordan restaurant still open?

Ryan: We started in Chicago, but now we all live in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I'm not familiar with any Michael Jordan restaurant. When I lived there I used to work at a sandwhich shop in Roscoe Village called Costello's. I highly recommend that place.

Me: Ahhhh. You guys worked on something called "Axe Cop." When I first heard of it I thought it was "Ass Cop." Man, I really need to pay attention. Anyway, what is "Axe Cop" and what did you do for it?

Ryan: "Axe Cop" is an online comic series that is illustraded by a professional artist and the story is written by his little brother. He is like 7 or 8 years old. It's really demented and hilarious. Basically we found "Axe Cop" like 3 days after it was launched and thought it might be cool to write a theme song for it and send it to Ethan (The creator/artist) incase he ever decided to make it into something more than a comic. Plus Mark and I were watching a lot of "Airwolf" and "Macgyver" at the time and it was a perfect excuse to write a very 80s style TV show theme. Synth guitar solos, saxophone, and super compressed gated drums are a recipe for a successful 80s TV show theme song.

Me: Ryan, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again. I wish you a lot of luck and continued success and come down to Florida to play. Thanks again, and before you go, plug your website.

Ryan: Merci beaucoup! Stepdad.us is where it's at yo.

Me: Great job, and please come back soon.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Real quick I do have to say that yesterday and today I mentioned America's first gold medal of the 2016 Rio Olympics was for shooting. Well, dear NBC, the "University of West Virginia" apparently doesn't exist. Please update your biographies so angry West Virginians don't yell at me anymore. Anyway, thanks to Ryan for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday with James Friley from Idiot Glee. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Wade Ryff From Races

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? Let's start with a story about a 90-year-old man giving a perfect 90-year-old man answer to prostitution charges. Nicholas Salerno, 90, of Dennis Port, MA, got himself charged with soliciting a prostitute after he called police to his home to report that a prostitute he'd solicited had stolen a necklace from his home. According to the "Cape Cod Times," when Mr. Salerno was informed that police would be forced to charge him with a crime as well, he replied, "I don't give a shit, I'm 90 years old." Lesson learned, prostitutes: don't steal from a man who has nothing to lose from the revelation that he hires prostitutes. Salerno reported paying Karen Proia, 48, from neighboring West Dennis, $100 to perform an unspecified sex act on June 22nd. The next day, he noticed the necklace missing, and decided not to let his own reputation get in the way of justice. Police later recovered the necklace at an area pawn shop. Both Salerno and Proia have pled not guilty.
Are you guys watching the Olympics? Appropriately, America's first gold medal of the 2016 Rio Olympics was for shooting. Nineteen-year-old Virginia Thrasher has become America's first gold medalist at the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Olympic Games... and in that most American of competitions, shooting. Thrasher, who hails from Springfield, VA and is an engineering major at the West Virginia University, took home gold against her Chinese competitor in the 10m Air Rifle. She will compete again on Aug 11th in the 50m Air Rifle.
It would appear that Justin Bieber only vacations in the nude. Last year, paparazzi photos of the Biebs' nether regions surfaced while he was away on a trip to Bora Bora, and it's happened again. The Biebs and a very attractive blond model are apparently on a trip to Hawaii, and the "New York Daily News" posted pictures today of them both frolicking around completely naked. For now it seems that Justin's habit of being naked in paradise isn't harming anyone. Let's just hope he doesn't decide to go to Disney World next. By the way, I don't care what you think of Bieber... he's a Foghat fan.

In this digital age, sexting is just a normal part of dating. Usually, though, we assume that our dirty texts full of eggplant and winky face emojis are only being seen by the person we send them to. A recent study has revealed that might not be the case. For the study, which was conducted by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, researchers surveyed 5,085 single adults between the ages of 21 and 75. They found that while 73% of those polled said that they'd be uncomfortable having their sexts being shared, 23% admitted that they had shared sexts that had been sent to them with an average of more than three different friends.The study's author, Justin Garcia, said in a press release, "It raises the question that if someone sends something to you with the presumption that it’s private, and then you share it with others... which, when it comes to sexting, nearly one out of every four single Americans are doing, what do we want to consider that type of violation? Is it just bad taste? Is it criminal?" Maybe we should all re-think it the next time we get the urge to share a sext with a friend. Let's all respect each other's privacy and keep our sexy texts to ourselves.
Did you kids see Suicide Squad? It was okay. Anyway, if you've seen any of the trailers, you'll notice that Harley Quinn's outfit of choice includes a teeny-tiny pair of "shorts" and some fishnet stockings. Practical. But according to Bleeding Cool, Margot Robbie's booty shorts may show more or less booty depending which trailer you are watching. Check it out.

Yep, in the international trailers, Harley's buns are mostly covered. And in the trailer that premiered at San Diego Comic Con and the movie I saw, Harley's shorts were much, much shorter.

So Bleeding Cool has theorized that the folks at Warner Brothers had someone digitally lengthen the shorts for the international version. And look, just call a spade a spade. Even with the digital alterations, those are still not shorts. They're hardly even underwear. This rendition of Harley Quinn is a far cry from the one you are probably familiar with, when Harley wore a full body Harlequin suit. Regardless, get ready to see a whole bunch of ass cheeks hanging out this Halloween. You will probably see more Harley Quinns and Jokers than you've seen since 2008 when The Dark Knight came out and DC movies were actually good.
Are you kids playing "Pokémon Go"? Some people are not only playing the game they are cashing in on it. Like this bakery in Toronto that’s choosing team sides.

Regular price? Ugh. Go Team Instinct. People that know me know that I don't like to break rules. Unlike this guy...

Why is the door closed and why does he look so smug? The sign clearly says 'Do not close the door." He's freakin' crazy. I love kids, and I love it when kids draw. Especially when they draw something that is innocent but looks perverted.

Is that a threat? Haha. So, with "Pokémon Go" I think they ran out of ideas for names for the characters...

Huh? There's a new line of toys that I think is kinda confusing...

What. The. Fuck. Hey, it's summer and one of my favorite things about summer is the bikini. So, this year I thought it'll be fun to show you pictures of women in bikinis with something not so sexy in the background.

Nobody shake that hand. Haha. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Startling Similarities And Differences Between Donakd Trump And The Olympics
5. Celebrates the world's wonderful diversity.
4. Is a source of great pride for America.
3. Is on another continent, thank God.
2. Is proceeding, depsite a terrifying lack of preparation.
And the number one similar or difference between Trump or the Olympics is...
1. Takes Russia at its word.

David Huddleston 
September 17th, 1930 — August 2nd, 2016
He was in The Big Lebowski and Blazing Saddles... and an absolute SHIT TON of bad TV... and I still can't find any good quotes.

Hahaha. This is a real easy one. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, my son and I were talking recently how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together. It used to be a fun kids show, but now it is not the same.

"Bert, you know I love you. But I swear, if I ever hear you say 'dank' again, it better be because your words are muffled from having my dick in your mouth. Because that's the only reason I wouldn't slap you for saying that faggy shit around me."

The 51st book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

The author Brian Watson will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

Today's guest is the lead singer for the Los Angeles based band Races whose CD "Year of the Witch" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Wade Ryff.

Me: Hello, Wade, welcome to the Phile, how are you?

Wade: Doing so good.

Me: Okay, your band is called Races... Didn't you guys have another band name? Black Jesus?

Wade: Yes, we did go by Black Jesus for a short time.

Me: I am glad you changed it, but why did you?

Wade: When we first started we were doing shows as Wade Ryff and Friends, which I always felt was really lame. So in the panic for a new name we settled on Black Jesus mostly because it was a pretty unforgettable name, but I was never really able to own it proudly. Whenever people asked the name of the band I felt sort of embarrassed. I think we were all pretty comfortable with changing the name.

Me: Explain the band name... Races could mean a few different things. Did you have any in mind?

Wade: At the time we were about to release a 7 inch. We had to submit artwork in a matter of days, and had no band name to put on the cover. We had this huge list of band names going, most of them really ridiculous, and we couldn't decide on a name. Syd from Le Savy Fav/French Kiss sent over his list of band names he had been collecting over time in hopes that it might help. Races was one of the names on his list and it just felt right. In terms of meaning, I identify more with races as in a contest rather than races of people. I relate to the name in the sense that it seems like there is always something to be up against, and strong desire to overcome whatever it is.

Me: Okay, enough questions about the band name. Who is in the band? You have six or seven members, right?

Wade: We used to be a 7 piece, but recently lost one of the back up singers. She has her own band where she is a lead vocalist and wanted to be able to focus more on that. Breanna, the keyboard player has taken over her vocal parts. Currently the band is a 6 piece and consists of myself, Oliver Hild on bass, Garth Herberg on guitar, Breanna Wood on vocals and keyboards, Devon Lee on vocals and percussion and Lukas Ventura on drums.

Me: I read that it was supposed to be a one off, before you guys decided to stay together and record. Did you all know each other before hand?

Wade: Ya, the band started as a one off in October of 2009. I was alway a bass player in bands, and had just started writing my own songs. A friend of mine was booking a show and asked if I would open up for him and perform some of my songs. I was to scarred to play alone, so I put together my sort of dream band for a night… All the friends that I always wished I could be in a band with. Most people in the band knew each other, but a few had never met before. Most of us were all in different bands at the time. We kept getting invited to play other shows after that night and just continued performing. Soon after we started working on materiel together and it became a real band rather than friends just backing me up.

Me: Where are you guys based?

Wade: We are based in L.A.

Me: You guys have your first album called "Year of the Witch" and the first song I heard from you guys is "Big Broom." Does the album gonna have a Halloween theme?

Wade: HA! That's funny. I never caught the Halloween-esque relationship between "Big Broom" and "Year of the Witch." I guess upon first glance it could come off that way but I don't see how someone could think it was a Halloween themed record once they listened to the songs and followed the lyrics.

Me: And no offense, but with the original name of the band being Black Jesus and your unChristian themes, you are no way Christians. LOL. And what's this, Wade, you escaped from a real life witch?

Wade: Correct. No offense taken but I have to go now.

Me: Ummm... okey. Can you come back for a follow up interview?

Wade: We would love to come back again. Thanks so much for having us.

Me: Mention your website real quick though...

Wade: Racestheband.com.

Me: Good job, Wade. Take care.

There you go, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Ryan McCarthy from Stepdad. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Phile Alum Jennifer McKee

Rabbit. Hey there, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. What's up? Twenty-one-year-old Makana Milho of Honolulu was shocked when her boss, 47-year-old Harold Villanueva Jr., drove her to an empty park, pinched her butt, and told her she could go home early if she gave him oral sex. So she took out her phone, held it discreetly out of sight, and started streaming the conversation on Facebook Live. She was later forced to take down the 30-minute video after being harassed by trolls, but The Daily Beast acquired a piece of the footage, which is disturbing. Milho was on the fifth day of a six-day community service stint, which she was completing in order to get a theft charge expunged from her record. She had spent the previous four days cleaning bathrooms without incident, but on the fifth, her previous supervisor was replaced by Villanueva Jr. The 47-year-old immediately began asking her if she was transgender (she is), and bragging about how he had coerced other community service workers, including trans women, into sex acts. Milho told The Daily Beast, "The universe was spinning. I thought he could do basically anything to me. I felt my power was stripped away from me." In the time it was live, Milho's video was viewed more than 197,000 times. It received viral attention, and led Villanueva Jr. to be arrested on Tuesday for fourth-degree sexual assault, a misdemeanor. The Parks Department is also being investigated.
Athletes from all over the world are arriving in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. When the Australian delegation arrived, they took one look at their provided dormitories, smelled gas and noticed water leaks, and gave a collective... Kitty Chiller, a spokesperson for the Australian delegation, told "The Sydney Morning Herald," "Problems include blocked toilets, leaking pipes, exposed wiring, darkened stairwells where no lighting has been installed and dirty floors in need of a massive clean.... Water came down walls, there was a strong smell of gas in some apartments and there was "shorting" in the electrical wiring." New Zealand and United Kingdom team members also reported similar findings. Brazilian Olympic officials have worked to fix the problems, but Australian officials have moved their athletes to a nearby hotel. Rio's Mayor, Eduardo Paes, said in response to the allegations, "We want them to feel at home here... I almost feel like putting a kangaroo to jump up and down in front of their building." Oh the shade! Let's hope Rio's Mayor doesn't come in the crosshairs of an Australian Olympic pole vaulter.
Social media has been a complete hell-hole since the start of this election cycle, with both parties acting like imbeciles when it comes to interacting with one another online. However, now news is surfacing that might prove that some of the most vocal and aggressive Trump supporters, with their American flag-laden profile pictures, might not be Americans at all. According to "Business Insider," many of them may be Russians being paid to pose as pro-Trump Americans. Adrian Chen, a staff writer at "The New Yorker," made the discovery when he was writing an exposé on Russia's government-sanctioned, highly-paid army of Internet trolls (the piece had nothing to do with the election). Apparently he had made a list of all the accounts that were being paid to troll and would check in on them periodically as he wrote his story. Slowly but surely, he noticed that the accounts started to post more and more about how much they love Donald Trump. Here is what Chen told Max Linsky on the Longform podcast back in December, "I created this list of Russian trolls when I was researching. And I check on it once in a while, still. And a lot of them have turned into conservative accounts, like fake conservatives. I don't know what's going on, but they're all tweeting about Donald Trump and stuff. I feel like it’s some kind of really opaque strategy of electing Donald Trump to undermine the U.S. or something. Like false-flag kind of thing. You know, that’s how I started thinking about all this stuff after being in Russia." Well, it's a strategy for sure. Spreading misinformation to create discord is an old KBG tactic (which President Vladimir Putin was once an agent for) called "dezinformatsiya," and is a well-loved method of psychological warfare that Russia has been using since the Cold War to sway opinions and control elections, which is why it has been working so well on the more impressionable parts of the American public. With American officials linking Russia to the DNC email leak combined with Trump's chummy relationship with Vladimir Putin, are you even surprised that this might be a thing?
Melania Trump... first lady candidate and Michelle Obama impersonator... began her journey into public life not as a political figure, but as a model. Old photos of the sexy Slovenian were on the cover of Sunday's issue of the "New York Post," and she's wearing her least expensive outfit yet: nothing.

In 1995, while presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was first lady and current first lady candidate Bill Clinton was president, the 25-year-old Melania posed naked in a French magazine called "Max." Then known by her professional moniker, Melania K., Mrs. Trump was photographed by French photographer Alé de Basse­ville. Even though her husband's running mate Mike Pence is considered vehemently anti-LGBTQ, Melania's shoot was decidedly homoerotic, and there's no doubt Trump has gawked at it.

Trump's campaign is not embarrassed or concerned that the photos have resurfaced. “They’re a celebration of the human body as art, and [there’s] nothing to be embarrassed about with the photos. She’s a beautiful woman,” Trump's spokesman, Jason Miller, told CNN’s "Reliable Sources." They likely wouldn't say the same thing if Hillary Clinton released nudes. Melania's career as a model was very naked, one-upping Betty Ford's career as a merely clothed one. Is it refreshing that she has nothing to hide? While she was photographed by professional photographers during her modeling days, she continues to share photos of her own hot bod herself. Between Melania and Bill Clinton, these are very frisky First Spouses.
If you've ever thought about multi-tasking by jerking off while eating a Filet-o-Fish, you better get on it, because McDonald's has promised to block porn from people using their WiFi. "McDonald's is committed to providing a safe environment for our customers," said a McDonald's representative this week. "We had not heard from our customers that this was an issue, but we saw an opportunity that is consistent with our goal of providing an enjoyable experience for families. "So basically, NO ONE complained about someone rubbing themselves while pounding a 10-piece chicken McNuggets (despite it being a a reasonable way to recycle the grease), but they decided to impose a WiFi filter anyway. And Starbucks has said they are going to start filtering as well, as soon as they can figure out how to keep people from accessing porn without accidentally filtering out more suitable content (like celebrity beefs). "This is a huge victory," said Donna Rice Hughes, president of anti-porn group Enough is Enough. "We're proud of Starbucks and McDonalds for stepping up to the plate. Internet pornography is a public health crisis. Parents need to know which family restaurants are safe from online threats." Or, you could just keep an eye on your kids while they consume toxic amounts of salt and grease at McDonald's. You want these restaurants to babysit kids AND adults? After all, so far there have been NO COMPLAINTS of anyone watching porn at McDonald's, but there have probably been countless complaints from adults trying to eat a late-afternoon McGriddle while getting annoyed by children on the loose.
Hey, are you kids having fun playing "Pokémon Go?" Some people are cashing in on the game, like this restaurant team who suddenly realized their business was a gym.

I love kids, and I love looking at kids drawings. But sometimes their art work is accidentally... perverted. And it's funny as it's innocent.

Now, who wants a sausage? Hahaha. There's one thing you might know about me is that I do not like breaking rules. Unlike this goat...

What? Can't he read? Haha. Alright, I have to show you this... this is a 100% real poster...

Crazy Canadians. Did you see Trump's new hat? No? Check it out...

Ugh. It's summer, and one of the best thing about the summer is the bikini. So, this year I decided to show you some bikini pics with something not so scary in the background.

Behind every confident woman is a supremely confident man. Hey, did you see that new Cialis ad?

If the effects last longer than four years, see a doctor. And now for some sad news...

Gloria DeHaven 
July 23rd, 1925 — July 30th, 2016
Made her first movie in 1936, and her last one in 1997. She was also married four times, had two kids, and lived in Vegas. No wonder she died.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, my son and I were talking about how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together when he was little. Looking back, I don't think that was a great idea.

The rubber duck was the representative model. The C4 charges would be placed around and a little bit away from it. Bert and Ernie calculated that at the exact moment it was time for Hajj, they would go off. That's when the plane would crash and the incident would be set up, and George W. Bush's wish would be fulfilled.

Don't worry or anything... but if you're pregnant and you've booked a trip to Florida, you might want to consider postponing. There have now been 4 confirmed cases of Zika virus in the state, all of them contracted by people who had not traveled to any Zika hotspots or had sex with someone who was infected. The virus, which is carried by certain species of mosquitos and transmitted through their bite, isn't deadly for adults, but can affect babies in utero, causing them to be born with defects like microcephaly. In England, women are being advised to avoid going to Florida unless necessary, and their Public Health department has changed Florida’s risk level to "moderate." So, just a heads up... if you're pregnant, maybe Florida's not the place you want to be right now.

Today's guest was the second guest I ever interviewed on the Phile and the first singer I interviewed. She is an actress, singer and blogger. Please welcome back to the Phile... Jennifer McKee!

Me: Jennifer, welcome back to the Phile! How have you been?

Jennifer: Hi! Thank you for having me! I've been great... super busy, but that's the way I like it!

Me: It's so good to have you back here... you were my second interviewee and the first singer I interviewed. You don't do a whole lot of singing anymore, do you?

Jennifer: I haven't been performing much at all lately. Still writing and hope to do some performing soon. Between having twin toddlers, (and my 3 other kids), running my businesses, and my acting career starting to take off, I haven't had much time to perform.

Me: Are you still gonna release new music? 

Jennifer: I hope to release some new music within the next year!

Me: So, last time you were here you had two more kids... twins? How are they? Are they girls or boys?

Jennifer: I do have twins! They are the cutest little girls and keep me on my toes!

Me: So, you have five kids now, am I right?

Jennifer: Yes! Man, that sounds like a lot!

Me: How are your kids, Jennifer? What are their ages? They were little when they first were here, am I right?

Jennifer: My kids are great! I have 3 sons, ages 11, 12, and 15. We had planned to be done having kids but had a major surprise pregnancy that surprised us even more by being twins! My twin daughters are 2 and 1/2. I'm still in shock! LOL, but we are so thankful for them. They bring such joy to our family. Time flies so fast, my boys were so little when we did the first blog interview!

Me: You started writing and producing for TV and movies, am I right? How is that going?

Jennifer: I really enjoy the writing process and character development for TV/film. I've written a full length screenplay, a few TV show pitch ideas, and always working on and developing new projects. Gotta keep the creative flow going and the best way sixth just keep producing ideas!

Me: Okay, so, you left Washington State and moved to L.A., did I get that right? Why did you move?

Jennifer: We left Washington state in April. We knew that we wanted to delve more into the entertainment industry and Seattle could offer only so much opportunity, so we packed up our house, bought an RV, and headed to L.A. When we left, we weren't sure how long we would stay here in L.A.... we thought maybe it would be temporary while we networked, but it was quickly very apparent that this is the place for us! Opportunity is around every corner and already we are seeing some really cool things happening!

Me: How is life in L.A., Jennifer? Are your kids adjusting okay?

Jennifer: We LOVE L.A.!! Being from the cool, rainy northwest, we are loving the sunshine and warmth!! The kids are outside every day either swimming or just playing in the sun. They are having a blast! This season of our lives can be described as adventurous and we are enjoying the journey!

Me: You are all living in an RV now? What the hell? You are a better person than I am. So, do you drive it?

Jennifer: When we decided to come to L.A., we didn't know the city and which area would be a good fit for our family, so we thought the best way to explore the city and find our niche, without committing to an area before we knew if we liked it, was to buy an RV and live the vacation RV life. I was really nervous at first, and it took a little adjustment but we're actually really enjoying it. We have it parked at a huge RV resort with pools, sports courts, activities for kids, etc. The kids play all day and have met some great friends. It has really been the best way to provide a sense of stability and consistency for our kids (especially the 2 year olds) and our dog. It's not a long term thing but we are embracing this simplistic lifestyle. What use to take many hours to clean my big beautiful home in Washington, now takes ten minutes. That's a dream! LOL, there's a lot more time to experience life rather than just dealing all day with day to day minutia.

Me: I heard they are a pain to keep up with the toilet stuff, you have to find a pump and drain it or something. Is that true?

Jennifer: Well, I let my husband take care of that! But it isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. When we park it, he hooks up the hoses and never has to see or touch anything. So, not too bad.

Me: Where do you park it, Jennifer and do you all fit in it okay?

Jennifer: We move it around from time to time to explore different areas but we have a spot just north of L.A. that is an 850 acres RV/campground resort that we like to stay at most of the time. It sleeps ten and there are only 7 of us so we have room for more! LOL... my husband, Ryan, and I have our own room and on the other end is a bunk room with 4 bunk beds for the kids (the twins share a bed). The boys have a flat screen and their gaming systems in the bunk room so they love it. Since the kids are outside swimming or playing most of the time, space hasn't been an issue.

Me: So, what's the craziest thing that happened to you guys with it?

Jennifer: Well, one day we were getting ready to move it to s different location, and when Ryan unhooked the sewer hose, the campgrounds sewer system backed up and well, let's just say the area was flooded... but not with water, if you know what I mean. Also, completely unrelated to that event, later that day I had the water running in the bathtub to clean it, got distracted by my twins, and It overflowed and flooded the RV. Did I mention this all happened on my husbands birthday? Good times.

Me: How long do you think you'll be RVing?

Jennifer: Initially we thought it would only be a couple of months but we are enjoying the simplicity, the low cost, and tie adventure so we are thinking maybe a few more months.

Me: Your husband has been busy in L.A., right? He's producing movies and TV shows?

Jennifer: Yes! My husband has been very busy. Currently, he is in pre-production on 2 film projects (as a producer on both) and a co-developer for an app that has a lot of potential. He's brilliant at business and production work and he's having the time of his life.

Me: Maybe I can interview him on the Phile. Would he like that?

Jennifer: I'm sure he would take you up on that!

Me: So, have you been doing a lot of auditioning?

Jennifer: I started auditioning a couple of weeks ago and so far it's been great! I was nervous about stepping into this level of professionalism, wondering if I could cut it, and hold my own. And I've surprised myself! There's something exhilarating about getting outside of your comfort zone and running into the fear and nervousness , rather than away from it. It's empowering.

Me: How is that going? I have seen some of your acting work before and it's pretty good.

Jennifer: Thank you! It's crazy going to these auditions with professional, L.A. actors. There have been a couple of moments where I think maybe I'm in over my head and wonder if I can do my best slander the pressure. But every time I begin to think that, I'm able to walk away from the experience feeling like I did my best. That's a great feeling!

Me: What's this you started real estate as well? Shit, Jennifer, do you think you are taking on too much?

Jennifer: I love having my hand in different things, and I love people, so shortly before I left Seattle, I started a real estate career with Sotheby's International Realty. So I get to fly up to Seattle as often as needed to work with clients and help them find their dream home (or sell it). It's a lot of fun! Also, I've signed on to help the ProActiv doctors market their anti aging skincare line, Rodan+Fields. I've gotta keep this face looking young on screen, LOL. It's been a fun business experience and it's amazing how many well known actresses in this industry are using and marketing these products. My husband and I have also been working on a website for artists and entrepreneurs (theventurouslife.com). That's been such a great creative outlet for us.

Me: Okay, I have to ask you about this... you worked on a pilot episode of a show with Ryan Stiles? How did you meet Ryan?

Jennifer: Yes I did! My husband was a producer and I was an associate producer. It was such a fun experience and the project is currently being shopped around... hopefully you'll get to see this show in TV some day! I got connected with Ryan Stiles through his improv comedy club in Washington. I had taken some classes and performed as an opener for Ryan at his club.

Me: How long ago was this, Jennifer?

Jennifer: This was a few years ago. Film and TV projects can sometimes take years to get to the screen so I'm still hopeful.

Me: What was the name of the show and did it get picked up?

Jennifer: It's called "Bellingham T'Nite." It's hilarious! We've had some interest on it by no contracts yet.

Me: Did you produce it or star in it?

Jennifer: I was just an associate producer. At one point Ryan pulled me up on stage during filming as a background player but that scene got cut. Being a part of that show was a dream. We laughed all of the time... such a funny group of actors and crew. I had the time of my life.

Me: I went to your YouTube Channel and watched a video of you picking out a watermelon... ummm. Explain. Haha. Here's a screesnhot of it...

Me: You need to make a series of these videos. Haha!

Jennifer: Well, I was with some friends and they know my obsession with watermelons and they were just being silly and started recording. I plan on doing some vlogging soon! My husband has started (I'm on some of his). Check it out... he's pretty funny. He's been vlogging about our move and life in the RV. (m.youtube.com/channel/UCxoeiTRAnB-vP_KzQiX7f3w().

Me: So, is there one actor or actress you could work with, Jennifer, who would it be?

Jennifer: Wow... that's a tough question. There's probably like 50 people on my list... narrowing it down seems impossible!! I have always thought it would be fun to act with Sally Field... maybe play her daughter. Will Smith's work ethic is inspiring and I would love to just watch him work. I could keep listing people, but no one person in particular.

Me: So, this year is the Phile's 10th anniversary and I am asking my Alum guests what were they doing ten years ago in 2006? So, what were you doing back then?

Jennifer: I was in the trenches of motherhood with a newborn, and two toddlers. Probably not getting much sleep either. LOL.

Me: Thanks so much for being back on the Phile. Would you like to plug anything?

Jennifer: My pleasure, thanks for having me! It's always fun to chat with you. Check out jennifermckee.com, facebook.com/jennifermckee. You can also find me on Instagram, Twitter, etc. and if you're looking to buy or sell real estate or have skincare needs, hit me up! LOL.

Me: Tell your husband I'd love to interview him here and I'd love to have you back soon as well... before three years is up. Who knows If I'll be doing this little blog in three more years anyway?

Jennifer: I will let him know! And why stop now, you've got a good thing going so I hope you're still blogging in 3 years!

Me: Okay, take care, and have fun with your family, Jennifer. All the best.

Jennifer: Thank you! And same to you!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. My eyes are watering so bad, and my throat hurts. Ugh. Anyway, thanks to Jennifer for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday with Wade Ryff from The Races. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker