Sandra Nasić From Guano Apes

Hello, welcome to Peverett Go. Hahaha. Yes, I am still playing the game. In fact, I am so ahead of my time I am playing the sequel "Pokémon Stay." For the most part, people are enjoying 2016's "Pokémon Go" craze as a welcome distraction from everything else about this year, but there are definitely some discontents, like this guy who literally put out this sign to keep kids off his lawn. First of all, his main complaint... that it's a private yard... is 100% legit, nothing to argue with there. Don't trespass. But clearly, um, he has deeper qualms with this trend...

Besides the unforgivable capitalization issues with this note, it makes a good point: this fad, too, shall pass. Also, this is definitely a Canadian, because who else is still peeved about Jean Chretien? Don't tell them, though, but Crystal Pepsi may come back. In conclusion, stay out of this dude's yard, unless you're there not to play Pokémon, but rather to ask him to tell you of days of yore when knights and ladies synchronized their dances to a song no one realized was about threesomes because it was in Spanish. By the way I'm just assuming because of the typeface that it's a dude. I could be wrong, and yes, I realize I'm recklessly type-casting.
On July 16th, presumptive GOP vice presidential nominee Gov. Mike Pence tweeted out (at 4pm) a picture of his family having dinner at Chili's in New York City, but that wasn't the weird part​. Due to an optical illusion... or possibly due to Mike Pence's daughter being a half-vampire hybrid capable of moving among humans like Wesley Snipes' titular character in Blade... the Indiana governor's daughter had no reflection in the Chili's mirror.

Mindphuck. Now, some people with knowledge of photography say this is a simple trick of angles and she's hidden behind Pence in the reflection. Which is exactly what someone in the pay of Big Vampire would say. Trump has promised to "look into" many things, mostly groups of people, so one hopes he is as vigilant about daywalking vampires who may or may not be on the side of good in the eternal struggle against the forces of the night as he is about immigrants.
I love pizza. I love all the pizza. I can't wait to tell my doctor that it's healthy to eat pizza. According to a study at UC San Francisco and Touro University California, foods that are high in calories, but low in sugar, are healthier than high calorie foods that are high in sugar. The study examined the diets of 43 overweight children for nine days. During this time, researchers slowly swapped the children's sugar snacks for snacks that had lower sugar content. The substitution snacks were high-calorie as well. So, instead of a cupcake, these lucky kiddos would be given… PIZZA. Or hot dogs. Or anything that's not pure sugar. The researchers discovered that when the children ate high-calorie snacks with lower sugar, their overall health improved. In some instances, the low sugar diet resulted in weight loss. So the main takeaways are: number one, a diet that is high in sugar is really bad for your health. This includes soda, donuts, candy bars, a hubcap full of whipped cream, etc. And number two, a high-calorie diet sans sucrose is healthier. Let's set aside the fact that a balanced low-calorie diet of lean meats, veggies, fruits, and plenty of water, along with moderate exercise, is the safest and most effective weight-loss plan, and focus on this single scientific study. I conclude, according to this research, that I can eat pizza, so much pizza, and still be healthier than if I ate pizza, so much pizza, and also all the ice cream.
The notion that women occasionally fake orgasms is nothing new. While the common perception is that most women are "faking it" to spare their sexual partner's feelings, new findings indicate that might not actually be the case. In a new study by Emily Thomas​, Monika Stelzl, and Michelle Lafrance that was presented at the British Psychological Society's Psychology of Women conference, 15 women ages 19-28 were interviewed about their reasons for faking orgasms. Researchers found that many of the women had faked sexual pleasure as a way to get out of uncomfortable or even unwanted sex. Granted, 15 is a pretty small sample pool, but the study's press release stated that all of the women "spoke explicitly of a problematic sexual experience" that they wanted to be over, either because it didn't feel good or because they didn't truly want it to happen, which is a little scary. The morals of the story here? Number one, make sure that your partner actually, really, truly wants to have sex with you. And number two, once you've confirmed that... Moving on.
Forever 21 learned some shirts aren't forever when they received backlash for boys t-shirts featuring sexist phrases. This is not the first time the retailer has come under fire for an offensive shirt, and it probably won't be the last. After the criticism, Forever 21 quickly apologized and pulled the shirts from its website. Forever 21 told Yahoo Style that they regretted the shirts, "Forever 21 takes feedback and product concerns very seriously. With regards to the t-shirts in question, after receiving feedback we have taken immediate action to have them removed from our website. We sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by the products." It's wise that they responded so quickly. But just remember, it probably would've been tacky parents buying these t-shirts for their sons. Here's one of the shirts...

They were on the website in the first place for a reason: someone would've bought them.
Sorry Internet trolls, it would seem that the female-led Ghostbusters reboot did pretty well for its opening weekend, and all your whining did was get more people interested in seeing the movie. "The Los Angeles Times" is reporting that Ghostbusters pulled in a respectable $46 million bucks this past weekend, surpassing the studio's original projection of $30-$40 million dollars. It also shows that audiences are totally into seeing female-led movies, so get used to it, misogynists. On top of making a pretty decent amount of money, Ghostbusters also won a fair amount of praise from reviewers and garnered a 73% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Not bad. However, Ghostbusters was beat out for the most profitable film of the weekend, coming behind The Secret Life of Pets, which made over $50 million. According to Deadline, Sony marketing/distribution chief Josh Greenstein gushed, "This is the biggest opening for a live-action comedy in over a year and we reached a wide audience that's both new and nostalgic." Ghostbusters is well on it's way to earning back the $144 million it took to create the film, and you can hardly hear the horrified shrieks of the man-babies crying about their ruined childhoods from their parents' basements anymore.
Let's talk "Pokémon Go" again. Some people are finding ways to cash in on the game. Like this brilliant girl who’s selling extra battery packs at a Pokéstop.

Genius. A lot of people think Pokémon is a Japanese creation but really they are from Britain. You can tell by the names of the characters.

Hahaha. I wanna catch that one. So, because of the popularity of the game you are gonna start to see signs like these...

Every. Street. So, yesterday I showed you the Trump/Pence logo and explained what it looks like. Well, they seemed to have updated it, but I don't know if it looks any better.

Haha. So, have you seen the new shoe that just came out?

There are no words. Alright, all through summer I am showing you bikini pics with something not so sexy in the background.

You never know where Jesus will make a difference in your life. Hey, I want to go to this...

But that was in 1981. Oh, well. Okay, so, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's doe stuff that happens in Florida that happens no where else in the Universe. That's why I have a pheature here called...

Oh, Florida, you just don't quit, do you? On Thursday morning in Ocala, Florida, a woman named Leslie Mills was seriously in the mood for sex. When her amorous attempts didn't work, she thought an axe might. Look, it's important be spontaneous and creative in relationships. According to The Smoking Gun, Mills, 26, returned from a night of drinking (drinking what? PCP?) and woke up the man in her house (whose relationship to Mills is as of yet unclear, to police as well as maybe Mills and the man himself), looking for some morning sex. He wasn't into it, and moved to the couch to get away from her, but mere relocation wasn't going to work in this case. Mills followed him to the couch and got on top of him, so he escaped to the bathroom and locked the door. Mere door-locking also wasn't going to work in this case. Mills began pounding on the door and managed to open it. And men say women don't think about sex. At this point the man couldn't help but notice that Mills was now holding a hatchet that had been on the living room wall (where hatchets go, duh), which she then held up as though she were going to try to hit him with it. This woman is the Lizzie Borden of Pepe le Pews. The guy managed to wrest the hatchet from her hands (she apparently bit him on the bicep in the process), ran out of the house, and called 911. Cops showed up to find Mills, definitely drunk and most certainly wearing nothing but a bathrobe. She was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and domestic battery. She posted $5,500 for her bond and is scheduled for a July 26th court hearing. Hopefully she'll show up sans axe. Abuse is never funny, no matter who's on the receiving end. But if websites wrote posts every single time a man did something violent to a woman, everywhere in the country, they would probably literally never stop writing. ​Women just don't seem to threaten men with bodily harm at the same rate men do. And when they do, going to go out on a limb and say probably only a small percentage are over the man refusing to have sex. But something's in the air in Florida. It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Stephanie Mills was charged with assault and bringing an axe to a sex fight. Alright, so, my son and I used to watch "Sesame Street" together when he was little, but watching it recently, it's not the same show it used to be...

Big Bird's head is hung on the wall as a warning to dissidents.

Haha. This one is easy. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. So, with all the police killings that are going on in the world right now I wondered what a friend of the Phile had to say about it. He's a patriot, singer and renaissance man... you know what time it is.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... I swear... the NEXT person who almost walks right into me because they're playing "Pokémon Go" on their phone is getting backhanded across the face. So... it seems some people are happy and... in fact APPLAUDING the recent rash of pre-meditated assassinations carried out against police officers around the nation. Interesting... but you should keep a few things in mind as you "high five" one another over this current form of mass insanity. 1. These officers who died, had one thing in common. EACH of them had spotless records, NOT ONE had any reports of police brutality or use of excessive force lodged against them (I checked). These were fathers, brothers, husbands and sons. Human beings... who took on one of the most thankless and dangerous jobs in the world. That of a modern day law enforcement officer. Good men... shot down in cold blood. 2. If some people out there think it's okay to declare WAR on the police... then you need take this fact into consideration. There are other people out there who DON'T wear badges, who DON'T wear a uniform, who are amongst you all the time. People who DON'T have to report to a civilian review board or an Internal Affairs Division. People who are (legally) well armed, extremely violent, highly skilled in how to maim, cripple and kill... using various methods and items from guns, to knives, to hand to hand combat. These people slip in and out of the shadows with great ease. They can end your life in the time it takes you to draw a single breath. These people are decent, law abiding, citizens... who have simply had enough. These people WILL protect the police from the likes of any and all threats to their safety. People like... Me. So... if your idea of "solving a problem with the police" is ambushing them in the streets (while they're risking their lives to protect YOU) and killing them... remember this... The police are the GOOD GUYS... You are the BAD GUYS... What you should REALLY be frightened of is... guys like ME. Because I promise you this, my temporarily confused friends. If I get within range of you... and your intent is to harm an officer of the law... I will shut you off like a fucking light switch... and I PROMISE you... your family will avert their eyes in horror when they stand over your remains at the morgue and witness what I've done to you. I shit you not...

Perspiration
Perspiration (or sweat) is nature's way of reminding you that spending summer anywhere other than in southern California is just stupid.

Today's pheatured guest is the lead singer in the German band Guano Apes whose latest album "Offline" is now available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Sandra Nasić.

Me: Hello, welcome to the Peverett Phile, Sandra. I wish I knew how to say hello in German. Wait a minute, it's Hallo und Willkommen to the Peverett Phile. Is that it?

Sandra: Perfect, or you can say, "Hallo und herzlich willkommen."

Me: Where in Germany are you kids from?

Sandra: We are from Goettingen, which lies in the middle of West Germany, the area is called Lower Saxony. Goettingen is a very old city formed around the 10th century, it has a quite famous university and once the Brothers Grimm lived and studied here. We have 70.000 students from 120.000 inhabitants.

Me: I have to ask you about the band name, Guano Apes. It doesn't sound very German, but I like the name. Where did it come from and what does it mean?

Sandra: It has no meaning, we just wanted to have an unusual name with many vowels.

Me: You guys first came out with your first music in 1994, and your second album came out in 2000. Why so long between albums?

Sandra: The First came out in '97, we had already success in Europe with it. So we've been on tour for a very long time, and maybe that’s a reason why making the second one took us so long. But we usually take the time we need; albums put together quickly are not always the best ones.

Me: On your second album "Don't Give Me Names," I noticed you did a cover of Alphaville's "Big In Japan," which was a single. I am thinking of all the songs in the world to cover, that's what you chose? Are you fans of Alphaville, and what made you pick that song?

Sandra: We have been asked to cover a song for a German sampler compiling songs from German acts of the 80ies. Bands like Nena ("99 Red Balloons") and Falco ("Rock Me Amadeus") were part of the "neue deutsche Welle" (new German wave) sound. I preferred to sing in English and so we found the Alphaville song, a German band with English lyrics, which was part of the new German wave, most suitable.

Me: Did you ever hear from Alphaville on what they thought of it?

Sandra: They heard it and I guess they like it.

Me: When your band originally break up, Sandra? Some of you formed a band called IO, but never released any music, is that because Guano Apes got back together?

Sandra: Everyone has different projects, the guys in the band released a record as IO, and I made a solo record. We still have our side projects, because it is simply fun, but at the moment we are really busy and happy being the Guano Apes.

Me: What was the reason for the break up? I am guessing after the success of the new album, you are not gonna be breaking up again, right?

Sandra: After 8 years we simply needed some time off to do different things and to live a normal live off the stage. And now it was just the right time to open up a new door with the band. Things are going pretty well for us and we enjoy the music we make.

Me: I didn't ask, who is in the band right now? You have all the original members I am guessing? 

Sandra: Yes!

Me: Let's talk about the new album, which I really like. Are you kids proud of it?

Sandra: Yes, we wanted to work in a total new surrounding. New managenemet, new producer and mixer. We worked with Kurt Ebelhäuser, he was just right and helped us bringing the new songs into a good shape. We wanted to let all songsbreathe, that’s maybe different to the other records.

Me: When you reunited, you played at a huge show in Austria, and I am sure you played all over Europe... ever been to the States? Are you planning on coming over here?

Sandra: We've been to the states several times already. We've been on tour with P.O.D. and on a support tour for Creed back in 2000 promoting our first album in the U.S. It's been great fun as people were really open for our music and like the shows a lot. We are currently thinking about returning for a few select shows with the new album.

Me: I know you have to go so quick, Sandra. Thanks so much for being on the Phile. Go ahead and plug your website and anything else you wanna. All the best, and please come back again, okay? 

Sandra: Thanks for having us here! Please check out guanoapes.com for latest information on the band and tour dates! Hope to see you some time in the states!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and Sandra Nasić. The Phile will be back on Thursday with singer and filmmaker Cosmo Jarvis. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Pheaturing Mike Brown From A Lull

Hello, everybody, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. Okay, I have something to confess... I am addicted to "Pokémon Go." Yes, it's true. Someone help me. Hahaha. Speaking of "Pokémon Go," at about 11pm on July 14th, a Vaporeon Pokémon appeared inside New York City's massive Central Park, sparking a stampede of actual humans all trying to catch it. There were easily hundreds of Gothamites all running after the same imaginary creature, if not over a thousand. It's a pretty good Pokémon. It's not amazing. It's fine! To be fair, those people were all already hanging out in the park at 11pm (NYC is a pretty safe these days) looking for Pokémon. Since "Pokémon Go" favors public spaces, and since New York is an incredibly crowded metropolis with precious few public green areas, Central Park has become something of a giant Pokémon stadium over the last two weeks. Okay, let's talk about robots beating up toddlers.
A mall in Palo Alto, California suspended its use of security robots after one of them beat up a toddler in front of an Armani Exchange earlier this week. The little boy reportedly didn't notice the machine and ran into it, causing him to fall over. Because it was an evil robot incapable of human empathy, the machine kept moving and ran over the boy's tiny baby foot. Luckily, the little boy is okay, suffering only "a nasty bruise." The question is, though, is this incident only the beginning? We all know the robot takeover of the human race is coming eventually. Is this the first step? Children are the most vulnerable of all of us. Why wouldn't the robots choose to pick off the weakest members first? It's scary stuff. Take care of your babies out there.
Rolling Stone Sir Mick Jagger, 72, is expecting his eighth child and the first with his ballerina girlfriend Melanie Hamrick, 29. The lead singer in the iconic band has seven other children ranging in age from 17 to 45. He's so counter-cultural he's made being an old man who doesn't know when to quit cool. The rocker performed his first gig with the Rolling Stones 54 years ago, when his girlfriend wasn't even a twinkle in anyone's eye yet, and Jagger's eye still contained a twinkle. Decades later, beautiful and talented women young enough to be his granddaughter still want to have his babies. In related news, two months ago, fellow Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, 68, had twins with his wife, Sally Wood, 38. Let's keep it going, fellas. You've each got a good 20 to 30 years of babymaking left. Any of you readers go to University of North Texas?
Trending on Facebook Thursday afternoon is a story about a University of North Texas mug that accidentally spells out an obscenity, and if you're literate enough to read to this point in the sentence, you've probably figured out what it spells. But where's that dastardly "C"? It's the handle.

Mindphuck. The mug's been hailed as an epic fail across the internet, but according to ex-students (and common sense), the one-letter-off curse spelled by their school initials is a pretty common joke on campus. A quick trip to the UNT bookstore website will also only yield you a photo of the cup with the handle on the wrong side... but it could have been updated since the story started going viral a couple days ago. A university representative said you can no longer buy the mug online or in the bookstore, although it was "designed/produced by a licensed vendor more than a year ago for a campus event." When asked whether the mug was created with any intent to spell out one of the most cursed curse words, she said, "There was no intent whatsoever. It was simply an unfortunate mistake." Unfortunate? The old adage about "any news" says otherwise. Either way... you can still buy all sorts of these mugs on Etsy. What is mug may never die.
Hey, I haven't mentioned "Pokémon Go" in the last few minutes... "Pokémon Go" exploded over the weekend because it's a genuinely fun game... it mixes the 90s nostalgia of Pokémon with a real-world scavenger hunt, and it gets people doing moderate exercise to boot (this is all an insidious plot by Michelle Obama, bet on it). Unfortunately, it also has been getting people discovering dead bodies, walking into traffic, and... alas... now getting robbed. That's right, some mastermind thieves in Missouri figured out that by placing a 99-cent lure at a Pokéstop in a deserted location, they could attract lots of nerds looking for 185 CP Bulbasaurs. But good luck getting through their pocket protectors, amiright? Pokéstops are places of interest in your city... things like statues, interesting architectural features, landmarks, and murals are all often Pokéstops (that must be one interesting parking lot). Players can add "lures" to the Pokéstops, meaning that every player can find Pokémon at that location (gotta catch 'em all, you see). All Pokéstops are marked on a Google Map-like interface, and Pokéstops with a lure are denoted by the presence of falling pink flower petals. And yes, this game doesn't make much sense when you think about it. Be careful out there! And go Team Instinct!
There's some inappropriate locations players have found so far in Pokémon Go." Like a strip club for instance.

Kids wander in to find Pokémon, and by the time they leave, they're done with video games forever. Some people are cashing in on the "Pokémon Go" craze like this pizza restaurant owner who promises you extra cheese AND Magmar.

A lot of people think Pokémon is a Japanese creation, but in reality they were created in Britain. You can tell by the names of them...

Hahaha. I need to find that one. Okay, let's talk about something different for a minute. Donald Trump has picked Indiana Governor Mike Pence as his running mate for president as you might of heard, and I think the logo looks like ooks like a T jackhammer-fucking the shit out of a P.

Crazy, right? Okay, so, it's summer and all through summer I am showing you bikini pics with something not so sexy in the background.

New photos have been added to the album: Beach Blanket Dorks. I love kids and I love kids' drawings... especially when they don't look so innocent.

Monkey? Don't! Alright, so, my kid is visiting again from Pennsylvania, and we were talking about how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together and how that show has changed. How has it changed? Let me show you with a pheature I call...

"Now as you can see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this police sketch of Klalid Muhammad Abdallah al-Mihdhar, drawn only three hours after the beheadings, does not simply resemble the elementary school teacher, it is the striking, uncanny depiction of the monster that stands before you."

Alright, before I show you today's Mindphuck, a lot of you readers... and I mean a lot of you, wrote and told me that the last entry of the Phile I had a Mindphuck. I looked back and thought, what the hell. Lemme show you my mistake...

I used the wrong graphic! Ugh! Haha. Good catch, people.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive People Who Went To See Ghostbusters. 
5. Feminists excited about progress in the historically male-dominated field of ghostbusting.
4. People angered by the sexist reaction to it... and feel it should be judged on its own merits as a bland rehash of a tired franchise.
3. "Pokémon Go" players, certain that Jirachi is hiding in the third row.
2. Khaki jumpsuit manufactuerers, anticipating a bump in sales.
And the number one people who went to see Ghostbusters are...
1. People who are seeking air conditioning... it's hot out!

Air conditioner
An air conditioner is a major home appliance that is not designed to cool the whole goddamn outside world, so close the fucking door, I'm not going to tell you again.

Today's guest is a member of the Chicago based band A Lull whose latest EP "Meat Mountain" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Mike Brown.

Me: Hey, Mike, welcome to the Phile. Man, every Phile entry should be titled Pheaturing A Lull. It's very fitting. How are you?

Mike: I am well. My apartment is a mess. How are you?

Me: I am doing very good. That's not the most exciting name for a band, I gotta be honest. Which one of you is responsible?

Mike: It’s usually Nigel’s fault.

Me: And how did you come up with it? What names did you reject? A Sleep? A Siesta? A Knockout? That one sounds cool for a band name.

Mike: It was between A Lull and B Lull. We rejected B Lull.

Me: Ha! I listened to your music and there's no lull about it. So, guys, who is in the band?

Mike: There are five of us. Nigel Dennis, Todd Miller, Aaron Vincel, Ashwin Deepanker, and Mike Brown.

Me: You guys are based in Chicago, right? Is that where you all met?

Mike: We are from Chicago. We all grew up around here and met when we were teenagers playing in different bands together. It’s pretty wild, but we have all known each other for as long as I can remember. I can’t imagine playing music without these dudes. I love them.

Me: I listened to your EPs "Meat Mountain," "Confetti" and the EP "Confetti Reprise" and cannot imagine how you guys sound live. How do you pull it off?

Mike: We definitely have live versions of the songs. They aren’t drastically different, but there is a difference and unique quality that the live versions have. We all have different musical backgrounds, and all are multi-instrumentalist, so that helps a lot when it comes to turning the songs out live too.

Me: Was "Confetti" your first album? Wait, you had one out with an ice cream name or something, right?

Mike: "Confetti" was our first album. We released a single 7’’ for Weapons For War before it, and an EP entitled "Ice Cream Bones" back in May of 2009.

Me: Where did THAT title come from?

Mike: My family owns an ice cream shop in Indiana, and when I was a kid I use to save all the bones from my fried chicken, take them into the shop when they were making fresh vanilla ice cream, and dig in. I would just go to town. Eat till I dropped. Now I’m lack toast a bit, so it had to stop. Figured, might as well go out with a bang. "Ice Cream Bones."

Me: The few songs on the new EP were recorded when you made the album... why didn't you just put them on the album?

Mike: All four of the songs on the new EP are B-sides to the record. It just disrupted the flow of the record. Plus, it would have been an extremely long debut album. I don’t know how well that goes over.

Me: How many other songs did you leave off?

Mike: We record 70+ songs/ideas for "Meat Mountain" over the course of around 2 years. I’d say we have close to 50 pieces that were left off. We will, more then likely, never return to them.

Me: So, will there be a "Confetti Reprise Reprise" EP coming out or a "Meat Mountain Reprise" coming out?

Mike: Watch it.

Me: I cannot describe your music, Mike, can you? And what other bands are you into?

Mike: I would describe it as rock/pop music I guess. We never really wanted to go for a certain sound or genre, and we try to stay pretty true to that, but the older the band gets we know what we can and can’t do, ya know? We are always buying new instruments and trying new things though. As far as other bands go, we are all into a wide variety of music, and I feel it really helps us draw inspiration. For me, Talking Heads, Brad Mehldau, Fela Kuti, Gabor Szabo, and Bola Sete to name a few of the last things I listened to.

Me: And being from Chicago, I have to ask, you guys must listen to the blues, right?

Mike: Yeah. I grew up listening to a lot of Buddy Guy, Muddy Waters, Holin’ Wolf, etc… Blues runs pretty deep around Chicago.

Me: Another thing I have to ask... Ashwin's last name is Deepanker, which sounds like a name from the Star Wars films, what is the origin do you know, Mike?

Mike: Ashwin was born in India without a last name. When his family came to America his father chose the name Deepanker. It means “seed of light." Ashwin means “friendly." Friendly Seed of Light.

Me: Ahhh. I know you have to go already, thanks so much for being on the Phile, Mike. Go ahead and plug your website and anything else you wanna. Thanks again.

Mike: Our site is alull.com and you can get to everywhere else from there. Also free music downloads. Thanks so much. Hope all is well.

Me: Thanks. Take care.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Mike Brown for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Sandra Nasić from the German band Guano Apes. So, spread the word, not the tied. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Christopher Pappas From Miracle Parade

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? It's free Slurpee Day at 7-11! Just in case you didn't know. The world is gone crazy this week. The augmented reality game "Pokemon Go" came out just 5 days ago. Since then, it has turned residential neighborhoods everywhere upside down as hordes of children (and adults!) seek to capture cuddly fictional monsters with their smartphones in backyards, parks and waterfronts. It's gotten thousands of gamers to go outside and has lead the discovery of at least one real dead body. I am not playing though, I like Pokewomon better. Haha. I am in kinda of a good mood so let's start with a nice feel-good story. According to the "Boston Herald," a cab driver recently walked into the Boston Police Department's Hackney Unit ("hackney" is an old-timey word for cabs, limos, etc) and dropped on their desk a backpack containing $187,000. The driver wasn't turning in a criminal, however; he was saving someone's inheritance. The backpack had been left in his cab by a passenger earlier in the day, and the cab driver "looked in the backpack to look for ID, found the money and brought it straight over to HQ,” according to BPD spokeswoman Officer Rachel McGuire. “It seems this guy has come into his inheritance and left it in the cab." While there are some big questions here, like why it was in cash, the fact that it was an inheritance is perhaps the only explanation for leaving a six-figure sum in a backseat. Someone clearly died recently, so let's cut the mystery idiot some slack and focus on how awesome the driver is. BPD did confirm that the owner of the backpack showed up with identification and has been reunited with his small fortune, and presumably teased a lot for forgetting it. Said McGuire, "Thank goodness for the honest cab driver."
Have you heard about a woman's urgent decision to get divorced caused a seven-hour delay on Russian flight. I don't know what caused this woman to want to terminate her marriage. Did he clip his toenails in public? Spoil "Game of Thrones"? Tell her to "shh calm down, babe"? I do know that she felt it was urgent enough that she needed to walk off her plane as it was readying for take-off, forcing 500 passengers to also disembark due to safety regulations. The incident went down at Moscow’s Vnukovo Airport on Monday, RT reports. According to witnesses, the woman kept saying "I am not in the mood to fly now" and demanded that flight attendants let her leave the plane. As a result, the Moscow-Vladivostok flight was delayed for seven hours while every piece of luggage had to go through security screening a second time. Passengers were, understandably, pissed, and they documented the whole fiasco on social media. One passenger named Elena posted several videos on Instagram and wrote, "A woman aged 40 took a decision to divorce her husband. Urgently! And she needed to walk off the plane. Cabin crew tried in vain to persuade her not to leave the aircraft because this is a long procedure." Other passengers posted videos of people exiting the plane and boarding a waiting bus. Families traveling with kids were the most angry, and reportedly urged the airline, Rossiya​, to penalize the woman with a heavy fine.That's a pretty terrible and self-centered thing to do, and she should have to pay a fine. Unless he told her to "shh calm down, babe" when she was angry, in which case, my thoughts and prayers are with this poor woman as she goes through a hopefully swift divorce process.
Many people are struggling to find the right words to describe how they feel about the tragedies in the news this past week. But who needs words when you got pictures? Luckily for us tongue-tied folks, a "Pokemon Go" player at what seems to be a Black Lives Matter protest has taken the perfect photo to sum up exactly what this week was like for many Americans.

This pic, which shows a Pinsir Pokemon superimposed on a policeman at a rally, was tweeted by Eric Hu two days ago with the caption, "This week in a single photograph." Gizmodo declared it the "photo of the summer," and seeing as how it captures two things that are distracting people so much they're walking into traffic, that seems about right. The photographer is unknown, but the photo may have been taken in Oakland of this Twitter user. Is it a commentary on the way the Black Lives Matter movement struggles to keep its head above water in a sea of online distractions? Hard to say, but hurry up and catch that monster!
As an homage to George Takei, the writers for the new Star Trek movie decided to make Sulu openly gay in the upcoming film, which would be a lovely tribute, except for the fact that Takei totally hates the idea. Takei played Hikaru Sulu in the original "Star Trek" TV series and in the early films, and despite being out and proud himself, told "The Hollywood Reporter" that he found the news of Sulu's sexuality to be "really unfortunate." Takei, who is a vocal advocate for gay rights, gives many reasons as to why he thinks Sulu should remain straight, including that he thinks making a change like this would be disrespectful to the character that Gene Roddenberry created (woof, if that is the case, he probably has some strong opinions on the new Star Trek movies as in general). He told "The Hollywood Reporter," "I’m delighted that there’s a gay character. Unfortunately, it’s a twisting of Gene’s creation, to which he put in so much thought. I think it’s really unfortunate." Although Takei urged the film's director Justin Lin to keep Sulu's heterosexual identity, production decided to move forward with making him gay. Takei noted, "This movie is going to be coming out on the 50th anniversary of "Star Trek," the 50th anniversary of paying tribute to Gene Roddenberry, the man whose vision it was carried us through half a century. Honor him and create a new character. I urged them. He left me feeling that that was going to happen." Another reason why Takei disapproves of decision is because of the implication that Sulu had been in the closet up until revealing his sexuality, something Takei suffered with in his personal life for over 40 years in the industry (he came out publicly in 2005). Here is more of what Takei told Lin, "Be imaginative and create a character who has a history of being gay, rather than Sulu, who had been straight all this time, suddenly being revealed as being closeted." Simon Pegg, who co-wrote and starred in the latest Star Trek movie (and is also that guy from Shaun of the Dead), disagrees with Takei. In a statement, he told "The Guardian," "He’s right, it is unfortunate, it’s unfortunate that the screen version of the most inclusive, tolerant universe in science fiction hasn’t featured an LGBT character until now. We could have introduced a new gay character, but he or she would have been primarily defined by their sexuality, seen as the ‘gay character’, rather than simply for who they are, and isn’t that tokenism?" He closed his statement by adding, "Justin Lin, Doug Jung and I loved the idea of it being someone we already knew because the audience have a pre-existing opinion of that character as a human being, unaffected by any prejudice. Their sexual orientation is just one of many personal aspects, not the defining characteristic. Also, the audience would infer that there has been an LGBT presence in the Trek Universe from the beginning (at least in the Kelvin timeline), that a gay hero isn’t something new or strange. It’s also important to note that at no point do we suggest that our Sulu was ever closeted, why would he need to be? It’s just hasn’t come up before."
If you've ever cried into a bar of chocolate or sprayed a box of Oreos with Windex to keep from eating them, you might have a sugar problem. Sugar is eight times more addictive than cocaine, according to one scientific study. Maybe that's why you always hear people say, "I can't keep cookies in the house" but rarely, "I can't keep cocaine in the house." Much like other white powders with more street cred, when sugar hits your bloodstream, it stimulates your brain's pleasure center, releasing dopamine, as this article in the "The Daily Mail" explains. Dopamine is that crazy chemical that makes you feel anywhere between "good" and "a golden god who can feel no sadness or pain."
But just as quickly as these chemicals spike, they fall. So by the time you've scraped the sides clean of your pint of Ben & Jerry's, you're going through a mini sugar withdrawal. This can trigger a craving for more. And so begins a vicious cycle that is not so different from the vicious cycle that drug addicts and alcoholics go through. Think you might be addicted? "The Daily Mail" has published a helpful (read: life-ruining) quiz with fifteen yes-or-no questions, including: "Do you ever eat sweets when you are feeling sad or upset?"and "Do you plan to eat a small portion, i.e. 'one serving' of ice cream, but then end up binging on the whole pint?" (If you answered: "duhhh" and "I thought a pint WAS one serving!" you may have a problem. But take the whole quiz to find out.) If if turns out you're addicted, the good news is you're not alone. Sugar addiction is super common. To break the vicious cycle, experts recommend going cold turkey. And that includes cutting out fake sweeteners and diet drinks, which actually boost sugar cravings. You may experience withdrawal symptoms, like headaches, tiredness, and foggy vision, but those should pass in a few days. And then? Congratulations. You now have a boring, sugar-free life.
Okay, so, as you know by now this is the Phile's 10th anniversary year and I have been showing you pics of actual people reading the Phile. Like this one for instance...

Yes! So, this summer if you go to the beach you might see this sign placed somewhere...

Ugh! Not my back though. So, there's one thing you might not know about me is that I don't like to break rules. Unlike this guy...

Get your foot off the grass! Sheesh. One of my favorite inventions in life is the bikini... and this summer I am showing you bikini pics with something not so sexy on the background.

"For the last time, those pipes aren't romantic!" With all the talk of Pokemon this week, some of you might not know that Pokemon is a British creation. You thought Japanese, right? Wrong! And I have proof.

I love kids, and I love kids drawings... especially when they draw something that isn't meant to be perverted but comes across that way. Like this one for example...

Actually, I think it was drawn by Melanie Griffith on her first day on set of Working Girl. Haha. I'm so stupid. Gluten free food is becoming so popular nowadays that some paintings are being "edited" to remove any sign of gluten. Check out Johannes Vermeer's "The Milkmaid," but with a fraction of the calories.

Okay, now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's...

Top Phive New Things You Don't Want To Hear Coming From The Next Bathroom Stall
5. Hello, Mr. Toilet... I hope you're hungry!
4. I don't know what I just made, but it's already got 50 likes on Instagram!
3. Ooh, I like you1 Into the Ziploc you go!
2. Damn automatic toilet flushed before I could take inventory!
And the number one thing you don't want to hear coming from the next bathroom stall is...
1. Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymooooore!

This one is kind of hard. If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. Alright, so, I love jokes, and I don't know if you know joke telling is old. There's an comedian who is 100 yeas old and tell good jokes, but there's a problem... no one really understands them. But as I am old, I do, so I thought I would have him tell the joke and I would translate. So, once again, please welcome to the Phile...

Me: Hello, Alan, welcome back to the Phile... how are you?

Alan: I am good, Jason.

Me: Okay, that's good. So, tell us a joke.

Alan: Alright. Old Lady Lovejoy, aged just threescore, whose lusty footboy rode behind before, is in a fit of fondness grown so kind. He rides within who rode before behind.

Me: Ha. Let me translate. A 60-year-old lady started screwing her horny footboy, so now instead of riding on the back of her carriage, he rides inside her vagina.

Alan: Good job, Jason.

Me: Haha. Thanks, Alan. Alan Raglafart, the 100 Year Old Comedian, everyone.

Elevator
An elevator is a type of vertical transportation that moves unowned farts between floors of a building.

Today's guest is a musician from Los Angeles whose album "Hark and Other Lost Transmissions" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile from Miracle Parade... Christopher Pappas.

Me: Hello, Christopher, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Christopher: Thanks! I am doing well Just got back from San Francisco... had a great show there.

Me: I have to ask first, you are the lead singer for the band The Everyday Visuals who has a solo album out under the name The Miracle Parade. Why didn't you release the album under your name Christopher Pappas? I always wonder why artists I interviewed record under band names when they are not a band.

Christopher: Well... I can't speak for everyone, but I know the reason why I did it, and I suspect others do too is because recording and performing under your name has a certain connotation to it. Even being pegged as genre wise as a "solo singer-songwriter" has a certain ring that puts you in a box even before people have heard your music. Sort of disguising that solo vibe behind a band name, I feel, is a good way to not right off the bat get pigeonholed to a genre (as I consider singer-songwriter to be a genre) without people hearing your music. For example... if I were to say, "Have you heard that new solo artist John Smith? (Or any name)" I think you would be surprised if I then told you it was a punk record. When you say just a name, you sort of already get a picture in your head on what ballpark the music is in.

Me: That's a good point. Where did the name Miracle Parade come from?

Christopher: To be honest, I really don't know. Originally the name of the project was Forest Fires. However, there was already a band from Brooklyn called Forest Fire. I knew I was moving to L.A. to record the record and so I thought I mine as well change the name and have a clean start. But really... I think the breaking point came when I exchanged a few emails with Chris Swanson from Secretly Canadian. When I was looking for a label to put out the Forest Fires record, I sent him the music for him to check out and he wrote back saying he didn't really feel it... but he was, as of late, really into Forest Fire... at that point I was like: I got to change the name. Hahaha.

Me: You played all the instruments on the album yourself, am I right?

Christopher: Yeah, I did. But there are some parts on it I had friends come in and play. Even though I am finding myself in love with sort of being a loner in the studio, I do truly, deep down think music is a collaborative, shared experience. So I think it's good to get a least some other people into the kitchen, even if it's a solo record. My good friend Tim Walker played pedal steel on a few tracks... which just, in my opinion, was the cornerstone of the album's sound. Pierre played some bass, sung on it... as well my friends Anthony Polcino and Rebecca Correia, who are both talented musicians with their own great projects. Also, I had a trumpet player Ian Souter come in and add some really cool stuff.

Me: Where are you from, Chris?

Christopher: I was born and raised in Auburn, New Hampshire. It really is a great place to grow up. It has the best of both worlds in the sense that... the town literally doesn't have a traffic light in it. It is incredibly small and rural, we had a big back yard growing up... and I would play with the neighborhood kids all day, running in the woods, riding our bikes... in fact I remember spending one whole summer building a makeshift log cabin that we actually were able to eventually hang out in. Conversely, this town is under an hour from Boston, 45 minutes from the beach, 10 minutes from Manchester (which is one of the largest cities in the state), so really have the best of both worlds growing up their. I feel my childhood was simultaneously rural and urban.

Me: I am guessing you don't like the Yankees then. LOL. Are you a sports fan?

Christopher: You know, I watched the Red Sox when they won that historic world series in 2004. But I really watched it for the history making aspect of it. It had been so long since they had won, and you know, I just root for the underdog. As soon as they won, I was like: Okay... now I want the Cubs to win. But speaking specifically of the Yankees, I can say that it was quite a treat to see the Sox historically come back in that series to beat them. I mean, even if you're a Yankees fan, you have to admit... that was a pretty spectacular comeback.

Me: Christopher, I have to tell you I am very impressed with you, sir. You were born with your neck fused and your fingers crossed, which is an unusual disease. Did you have lots of surgeries when you were a kid?

Christopher: No. Growing up I would say that I was a pretty healthy kid until I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, which is a type of arthritis. Basically what happens is my immune system attacks my spinal cord (they don't really know why) and these attacks cause inflammation and pain, which then cause calcium build ups that fuse the vertebrae together. It's progressive so over the many years it's sort of fused my bones more and more. Now when some people see me they ask if I have a 'stiff neck' or have been in an accident or something. Unfortunately surgery is still a pretty risky treatment for it and at this point in my life, not really worth the risk. I have good days and bad days with it... but overall I think that I manage it well.

Me: With all that, somehow you learnt to play a bunch of different instruments. I bitch when I have a headache and have to go to work, or post an entry of the Phile. Did you always want to be a musician growing up?

Christopher: My father was a musician and there was always instruments and music around. Some of my earliest memories are of sitting in my fathers acoustic guitar case banging on it like a drum while his acoustic trio practiced. When they took a break, I would take a break with them, pretending I was in the band. I think that for me, as I grew older I had this process in me of taking things that hurt me, or things I worried about, or fears I had and going over and over them in my mind. I was a very anxious, nervous child. And so, there was some point when it just clicked that: I can get all of this out of me through music. I can write lyrics about how I feel, I can bang on the drums when I'm angry, I can focus on singing to myself when I am worried, or scared. So, I feel like what came first was this need to create, to have that outlet, and music was something I had a deep connection with. 

Me: What was the first instrument you learned to play?

Christopher: I suppose I would say that technically I started singing when I was very young. I would write songs in the shower and perform them as far back as kindergarten. I remember putting concerts on in my back yard with my my sister and the neighborhood kids... we would all play tennis rackets as guitars and I would sing original songs. However, the first instrument other than voice that I learned was guitar. What happened was: in 7th grade, my best friend Tim and I wanted to start a band. So we both vowed to learn an instrument over the summer; he would be the guitarist, I would be the bassist. So I went home and I asked my father to teach me bass. In an amazing act of foresight... he said, "Well, I can just teach you bass... but I think you would be better off learning guitar, and THEN taking that knowledge and learning bass." So I learned guitar and started writing songs immediately with it... that was the thing: I ALWAYS wanted to learn instruments so I could write songs. The first day of 8th grade arrived and Tim said, "I learned an instrument." I said, "I did too!" Then we started my first band.

Me: Okay, let's talk about your new album "Hark and Other Lost Transmissions" which I downloaded from iTunes. When you were writing the songs for that album did you know it was gonna be for a solo album, or did you plan to write then for The Everyday Visuals?

Christopher: It's funny... the catalyst for Miracle Parade was really born out of two things that happened simultaneously. First we (The Everyday Visuals) were getting a lot of show offers and things floated out way that I really wanted to do. I wanted to keep playing and touring, and I think the rest of the guys were sort of done with touring for a bit. So my anxiousness to get back out and record another record, etc. caused me to think outside of 'The Visuals box,' as it were. The second was that I WAS writing songs that had a different sort of feel to them... and quickly realized that having an outlet for more quiet folky stuff was good for both projects: The Everyday Visuals could be pure jangle pop (think Big Star, Jayhawks, R.E.M.) and Miracle Parade could be pure folk melancholia (think Sun Kil Moon, C,S,N,&Y, Judee Sill, etc.) Before, I think, as a songwriter, I was trying to fit those pieces together in one project and not having very much artistic success with it. Thus Miracle Parade was born!

Me: I love the whole album, but I have to ask you about the song "Son Son (Son)"... what an interesting song title. Where did that come from?

Christopher: That song was one I wrote about the sadness I felt at the time about the things you miss out on choosing the life that I've chosen. My sister married a wonderful man, has two amazing daughters, a beautiful house... I see her life and think I really wanted a house and a family someday... and I thought that music could afford me those things. Sometimes I feel like instead of music enriching my life... it's held me back, and kept me hostage, waiting; for the phone call of a great opening slot, or word that this mag is going to review the record, or this producer is on board to do the next record. So really that song is apologizing to the son I never had because I spent my life holding my breath for something that may never happen.

Me: What bands are you into, Christopher? What bands did you listen to growing up?

Christopher: Growing up I listened to, basically, what my dad was playing America, CSN&Y, Buffalo Springfield... even more garage 60s stuff, like The Zombies. When I first started buying my own records I was obsessed with Nirvana, R.E.M., Sonic Youth, Pearl Jam, and Bjork. The whole grunge thing happened RIGHT when I started playing music... so that was a big time for me. Currently, my favorites are Pedro The Lion/David Bazan, Sun Kil Moon, I love the new Bon Iver, and I'm really digging Yuck.

Me: I can picture R.E.M. doing the songs on your album, Chris. Are you an R.E.M. fan?

Christopher: Oh, man... HUGE. R.E.M. more or less is my favorite band of all time. I could literally write a short book on all their records and how each one is basically perfect and totally necessary in context of their whole catalogue. People say after Bill left that was effectively the end of R.E.M.... and yes, I see that there is a BIG schism between "The New Adventures of Hi-Fi" and "Up," but what's funny is that R.E.M. has made a career of bridging these huge gaps. For example, everyone thought that the band was basically done when they left IRS and went to Warner Bros. People split them into pre "Losing my Religion" post "Losing My Religion." People split them pre MTV post MTV. I think the way people section them off based on different points in their career is proof enough at how consistently relevant and long lasting this band was.

Me: Okay, let's talk about your other projects. What's this you wrote a musical called "Pope! An Epic Musical." Where was that performed?

Christopher: That had a short run at this theatre in New York City called The Magnet. It was supposed to only have one show... but it sold out in like, 2 minutes or something crazy so they gave us a month. Then those shows started selling out like mad, so they extended it for longer and longer. Then it was accepted into the Fringe Festival in New York City, which is basically like the SXSW of musicals. Amazingly, we broke box office records there and were asked back for their encore series. We got some pretty amazing press; hailed in the "Wall Street Journal" and the "New Yorker" as "Proof that the musical is not dead." We were posted as "one of the musicals to see" online at the "New York Times"... Crazy stuff and all pretty amazing since I basically know nothing about music theatre. Really, the genius behind the whole thing was my friend Justin Moran. He is a college friend of mine, and just a remarkable talent. In college I had this idea for a comedy music called "Pope!" and told him the basic plot outline. We wrote a musical together for fun in college that was never really performed, and then one day he came to me and was like "Let's write "Pope!"... seriously." The next thing I knew he had a first draft all done, and I started working on the music. He is just such a hard worker... once he imagines something, he does it... come hell or high water. We actually are writing a new one together right now, I don't want to say too much on it... but I'm really excited.

Me: What was the musical about?

Christopher: It's so silly. The plot is about this nice Pope (whom everyone loves) and this power hungry archbishop who, with the help of a crooked news reporter, frames the pope in a sex scandal to get him excommunicated. The Archbishop then takes over the papal throne for the purpose of eventual world domination... hilarity ensues, etc. Honestly, we wrote it as just pure enjoyment for us... to be this really cartoon-y, over the top, ridiculous thing. (i.e. "what if we added THIS... wouldn't that be hilarious?!?!") And I think ultimately that's what people attached to... people had fun seeing it.

Me: And what's the Middle East Downstairs? You played there with a 30 piece orchestra? I bet that was fun. Where did you get the orchestra from? Did you perform your own music with them?

Christopher: The Middle East Downstairs is one of the coolest music venues in Boston... perhaps even the country. Traditionally, they showcase touring acts, rock bands, etc... a normal venue. The talent buyer at the time when I was living in Boston was a friend of mine and I approached him with this idea of assembling a 30 piece orchestra (via Craig's List) and performing original orchestral works with bands opening up the night. The idea was very specific though... I didn't want to play Miracle Parade songs backed by an orchestra. I wrote three orchestral pieces that I wanted to conduct that night. So we got it together, and boom! You can see footage of it on YouTube. I called ourselves The Hark! Philharmonic.

Me: Thanks so much once again for being on the Phile, Christopher. Any websites you wanna plug? Take care, and continued success, sir.

Christopher: Hmm. A website plug. Well, I always like to give a shout out to my compatriot Anthony. He and I have been friends for a long time, and we now play in each others projects. He has a solo thing called Soft Pipes, and it's pretty damn incredible. I have the good fortune to be part of the live line-up and every show is pretty stellar. Also, one of my best friends (and brother-in-law) Jared Ainscough has a website showcasing more of his graphic design work... but he also does amazing art as well. He was the one that designed the album covers for more or less all the records I've made (Miracle Parade, The Visuals, etc..) and is a great guy to boot: softpipesmusic.com,  jaredainscough.com.  And then there is my own: miracleparade.com. Thanks for the great questions - and I'm truly honored that you took time to listen to the record! Thanks!

Me: Anytime. You are great!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Christopher for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Sunday with Mike Brown from A Lull. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker