Pheaturing Jenn Bostic

Hey, kids, welcome to another entry of the Phile. How are you?  Well, the bookies called it... the 12th  Doctor is Peter Capaldi. Fake fans only into "Doctor Who" for the pretty boys... please close the door behind you as you leave. I'm too busy partying to see you off. You're complaining Peter is too old to play the Doctor? He's portraying a character that's over 1000 years old. I was thinking, it is a bit odd that no one is mentioning that Peter Capaldi won an Oscar. Anyway, the BBC already has released a 12th Doctor inspirational poster.

Bloody marvelous. Peter Capaldi has 12 letters in his name, I will not believe this to be a coincidence. I knew he was gonna be the 12th Doctor all along. Look who he played in World War Z.

Alright, let's talk about other less important stuff, shall we?  New Yorkers, the ban on giant sugary sodas has been overturned. You can now go to 7-Eleven and get yourself a soda cup. There's one so big that Simon and Garfunkel had a reunion concert in it. The soda cup is so big that the Wallenda guy walked across the top of it. They have sugary sodas the size of rooftop water tanks in New York City. The Pope is back from Rio. He said he would not judge gays. His exact words were, "Let he who is without sin cast the first musical."  Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab! TMZ's reporting that she'll spend a few days with a sober coach. Might I suggest she also see a stay-out-of-court coach, a don't-steal coach, a career coach... and most of all, a driving coach, okay?  The Discovery Channel had a fascinating show about ants. Did you know an ant can lift 20 times its own weight? It used to be only five times its own weight, but then Alex Rodriguez told them about a clinic in Florida. Rumor is that Alex Rodriguez may soon be facing a serious penalty for steroid use... either a lifetime ban from the sport or a trade to the Houston Astros.  Anthony Weiner has vowed to continue to fight. He said he is staying in the race because he cares deeply about the people of New York... except for the one he is married to. The Anthony Weiner campaign's communications director is in trouble for calling a former intern an inappropriate name. But Weiner said he'd take care of it. He promised to give them both a good texting-to.  Time Warner announced that their CEO will resign at the end of the year. They say they would've done it sooner, but that was the earliest they could get a technician to come out and install a replacement.  The producers of the next Star Wars movie say they will avoid using CGI as much as possible so the film looks more realistic. That's good because whenever I watch aliens and robots fighting with lasers, my first reaction is, “Hmmm, seems pretty fake.”  Yesterday I went to the Disney Store in the mall and I was surprised they were selling this poster.

What are they trying to say?  Did you see the new Peta ad? I think it's from India.

Apparently you should respect animals, not women.  One of the things I like to do in my spare time is go on Twitter and look up different words to see what people are talking about. One of those words I look up is Peverett, and this is what I saw recently.

Whoa, whoa, Tom Compton, "Slow Ride" has supported my family for a long time. Alright, and now for some sad news...

Art Donovan
June 5, 1925 - Aug 4, 2013
Tough enough to be a football player, and smart enough to be REALLY funny. Talk about your rare combo.

This is a dumb one. If you spot it email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. Okay, so on the Discovery Channel this week it's Shark Week. Last year for Shark Week I introduced you to a brand new Phile character who most of you thought was stupid. That being said I thought I'd bring him back out. So, please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hello, Feargal, welcome back to the Phile. How are you?

Feargal: Not so good. I tried to save the land walker who fell into the ocean.

Me: You did? That was nice of you.

Feargal: Yeah, well, he stabbed me in the eye.

Me: How has your summer been?

Feargal: Well, I tried to compete in a surfing competition but everybody left.

Me: That's too bad.

Feargal: I just want to help a few friends out with a few loans. But I'm forever associated with crooks.

Me: Haha. I could see that. Alright, last year you told us some jokes. Do you have any this year?

Feargal: Yes. Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?

Me: Ummm... I dunno.

Feargal: To get to the other TIDE.

Me: I get it. Do you have one more?

Feargal: What is a sharks favorite Dustin Hoffman film?

Me: I don't know.

Feargal: Midnight Caudal.

Me: Good one. Feargal the Shark, kids! Bye, Feargal.

Alright, the 27th book to be pheatured in the Peverett Phile Book Club is...

Ester Nicholson’s foundational process that she’s termed Soul Recovery unlocks the code of dependence as it manifests in substance, relationship, and behavioral addictions, among others. As you’re guided through a 12-week process of study and practice, the author courageously shares her inspiring journey that has ultimately led to a new life of wholeness, fearlessness, and power. Using examples and daily practices, she reveals the 12 keys that saved her life and the spiritual technology that will bring you serenity and carry you to your dreams. The Soul Recovery process works deeply with life paradigms and practices to create a soul-centered awareness that’s so profound that disease; addictions; and everyday problems related to attachments, expectations, and limiting beliefs are dissolved in the face of it. A fascinating read, "Soul Recovery" tells the gritty story of a recovering substance abuser who rose to great career heights while falling into a personal abyss, only to find her way back with newfound glory and purpose. Its powerful lessons and practical, easy-to-use exercises can be used by people of all ages and from all walks of life. Esther will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

Today's guest is an American country-music singer-songwriter, based in Nashville, Tennessee. Her album "Jealous" is available on iTunes and her her song "Jealous of the Angels" won her five awards at last year's Independent Country Music Association Awards. She'll next be appearing at The Listening Room Cafe in Nashville on August 12th. Please welcome to the Phile, the wonderful... Jenn Bostic.

Me: Hello, Jenn, welcome to the Phile.

Jenn: How are you? Hey there! Thank you so much. I've been blessed and busy lately. :)

Me: I wanna say thanks first thing, Jenn. Thanks for making me cry with that song "Jealous of the Angels". Has anybody else ever said that to you before?

Jenn: That has been a common response. I'm so glad that it touched you. It has been amazing to hear the stories that people have shared with me after hearing this song. They were so heartfelt that I actually created a blog on jennbostic.com and I feature one of these stories each week.

Me: I lost both of my parents from cancer in 2000 but you lost your dad in a car crash, right? And you were in the car? Did you get hurt? Your brother was in the car with you as well, wasn't he?

Jenn: I am so sorry for your loss. I did lose my dad in a car accident on the way to school. My brother and I were both in the car and had nothing more than a black eye after the accident.

Me: How is your mom? She must be very proud of you with your music, Jenn.

Jenn: My mom is an incredible woman. She is so strong, and has encouraged my brother and I every step of the way. I wrote "Dance Like Nobody's Watching," for her, which is on my first record.

Me: How old were you when you were in that accident?

Jenn: Ten.

Me: It was after that accident you started to write music, am I right?

Jenn: Yes. Music was something my dad introduced at birth, but it wasn't until he passed that I started using songwriting as a form of therapy to get through this tough time.

Me: Were you taking piano lessons before?

Jenn: Yes. My parents started me on piano at six. :)

Me: You went to Berklee to study music like a lot of people I interviewed. I always imagine that school being strict. What was your major there?

Jenn: I majored in music education. I love kids and I love sharing music and creating something out of nothing. To a child's eyes light up when they really understand something for the first time is a priceless gift. Berklee was a great experience and some of the relationships I made there are some of the closest to me today. Berklee graduate, Charlie Hutto, produced my first album and half of my EP "Change." He also taught me a ton about this business and the art of songwriting.

Me: Jenn, where are you from? Where do you live now?

Jenn: I was born in Philadelphia, PA, but I don't remember much of that. I grew up in Waconia, Minnesota. It's a teeny-tiny town thirty miles west of Minneapolis. My husband and I are both originally from Waconia and now reside in Nashville, TN.

Me: I didn't say, but I interviewed a friend of yours named Tiffany Thompson three time and recommended I interview you. How did you two meet?

Jenn: Tiffany and I met through a mutual friend, Kurtis Parks. She came down to visit Nashville and we ended up writing together. We've played a few acoustic shows together as well. She is an amazing talent with an amazing heart.

Me: So, do you ever play together?

Jenn: I'll play piano and sing background vocals on Tiffany's songs and she'll play guitar and sing on mine. We'll most likely trade off singing lead every few songs and just make it a great night of music and creativity for everyone involved.

Me: You had a few releases before your new album "Jealous", is their a change in your music?

Jenn: Yes! My first album, "Keep Lookin' For Love" is a pop/country album that I wrote and recorded after first moving to Nashville. I love country music and fell in love with the lyrical structure in college. However, after I released and started promoting this album my heart led me toward a more pop orientated genre and I was listening to artists like Sara Bareilles, Missy Higgins, Bonnie Raitt and Marc Broussard. I love writing just as much as performing, I like to classify it as singer/songwriter.

Me: There's one song on "Keep Lookin' For Love" called "Gay or Taken" I think... that could be the anthem of all single women at Disney where I work. LOL.

Jenn: "Gay or Taken" was inspired by a specific woman who is a great storyteller. I wrote it for her and she got a kick out of it.

Me: So, where was "Jealous" recorded?

Jenn: Half of the EP was recorded in Nashville, TN, while the other half was recorded in Los Angeles, CA. I had the amazing opportunity to work with California producer Barrett Yeretsian who produced and cowrote "Jar of Hearts" for Christina Perri.

Me: Did you play piano on it, Jenn?

Jenn: I played piano on a few of the tracks out in LA, and Jason Webb played the piano here in Nashville.

Me: Okay, let's talk about the song "Jealous of the Angels"... is that a recent song you wrote or an older song?

Jenn: I wrote "Jealous of the Angels" with two good friends of mine, Jimmy Fortune and Zach Runquist. We wrote it a little over a year ago. It was an amazing, yet emotional experience and I am so grateful for that divine appointment.

Me: It's about your dad, right? I am guessing a lot of people connected to that song. Was is the reaction to it when you play it live?

Jenn: It is about my dad and it has been amazing to see the way people connect with it. I have heard so many amazing stories from those who have been touched by it. Like I mentioned earlier I started a "Jealous of the Angels" blog and it has been such an amazing healing process for me, as well as those who are featured.

Me: Your other single, "Missin' A Man"... that's not about your dad, but about your husband, am I right? What did he think about it?

Jenn: He loves it! My husband Michael is my biggest cheerleader and I'm so grateful that God put him in my life. We've known each other since I was 2 years old, we were family friends. We lost touch over the years, but still knew of one another. I came back to Minnesota for the CD release show of my first album and we created a friendship, that led to where we are now. :) An interesting thing about us is that we spent our entire relationship before marriage living in different states. I of course got to travel to Minnesota quite a bit for shows, so we saw each other about every three weeks. But I was definitely missing him a lot before he moved to Nashville after the wedding. :)

Me: When you went to Nashville you left him in Minnesota, right? That must've been hard on you guys. I don't like leaving my wife for ten hours when I go to work, but I am sure she likes it. It's a break from me. ; )

Jenn: We learned a lot about communication during that time. It was really hard, but I think we learned so much in that time that it has absolutely made our marriage stronger.

Me: So, do you write happy songs?

Jenn: LOL. I sure do! :) "Let's Get Ahead Of Ourselves" is a song a cowrote with Barrett Yeretsian, and it is a happy love song about the beginning butterfly stages of a relationship.

Me: I have to hand it to you, you have done something I would never do, and that's go to Kuwait and Iraq... you went over there to play. How was that experience? Did your husband go with you?

Jenn: Thank you. It was an incredible experience. My husband and I weren't together yet at this point and I was out in Boston for College. I was the lead singer of a pop/country/rock cover band called DiggerDawg, and the band applied to go overseas through Armed Forces Entertainment. It was amazing! I am so grateful for all the men and women who serve this country and it felt like the least I could do.

Me: You also opened for Alan Jackson, Brad Paisley, Reba and others? Did you meet those folks and learn anything?

Jenn: These openers were all with the band DiggerDawg as well. Most of them were side stage openers, but we did get a chance to meet Gretchen Wilson, Tracy Byrd, and Julia Roberts. Those shows were so much fun!

Me: I loved the video for "Jealous of the Angels" and you look beautiful in it.

Me: Where was it filmed? It makes me not miss snow, that's for sure.

Jenn: I love snow!!! Haha. Thank you, the video was filmed in the house I grew up in, as well as the town of Waconia, MN. It is really special to me that my first music video shows so much of who I am and where I'm from.

Me: Is that the only video you have made?

Jenn: I released a music video for a song I wrote by myself called "Snowstorm (Acoustic)." Those are the only two, but I look forward to filming more in the future.

Me: Jenn, thanks for being on the Phile, and tell Tiff I said hello. Go ahead and plug your website and please come back real soon when your next release comes out.

Jenn: Thank you so much for having me! I'll definitely tell Tiff you said hi. :) Find out more about my music, new releases, and touring schedule on jennbostic.com. Thank you so much!

Me: All the best, and please come back again. Take care, Jenn.

Jenn: Thanks, you too!

Well, kids, that about does it for this entry. Thanks to Jenn Bostic, that was a great interview. The Phile will be back next Saturday with jazz singer Stephanie Nakasian. Then on Sunday it's the guys from the band Blade of Grass and on Monday it's singer Adam Daniel. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Strawberry Blondes Forever!

Pheaturing Bert Hoover From Cab 20

Hello, welcome to the Phile, I'm your host Jason Peverett, the 12th Doctor in "Doctor Who". Haha. My grandmother used to say to me, "One day you're gonna be Doctor Who." And I would say, "His name is the Doctor, not Doctor Who."  Here's some good news, Private Bradley Manning called WikiLeaks and turned over a million documents, and then he was found not guilty of leaking. He was delighted so he celebrated with his brothers, Eli and Peyton.  Former governor of New York Eliot Spitzer has now gone on record as saying that Anthony Weiner is not fit to be mayor. Well, that's good enough for me. That's all I needed to hear.  Illegal border crossings in California are way down this month, especially in San Diego. It's because people are scared they might get groped by the mayor if they come across. Have you heard this story? Seven women have come forward to say they've been sexually harassed by San Diego Mayor Bob Filner. The mayor has agreed to intensive rehab therapy. They say it's a 12-step program. Here's a simple 12-step program: Just stay 12 steps away from all women.  According to the New York Post, the Clintons are really angry about being compared to the Weiners, and rightly so. Bill Clinton took his sexual conduct seriously. Anthony Weiner just phones it in.  The other day on Fox News, Donald Trump said there is something 'mentally wrong' with Anthony Weiner. He said, "That guy is dangerous, unstable, and disgusting. So look for him next season on 'Celebrity Apprentice'." Russian President Vladimir Putin was on vacation last week, and apparently he caught a giant 46-pound fish. Putin called it a crowning achievement, while the manager of the aquarium said, "What am I supposed to do? He's president."  Buckingham Palace released another picture of Kate, William and George. Wanna see it?

He's so cute, he shot his first peasant. He looks like Elmer Fudd. Haha.  Yesterday I showed you a road sign that said 'Slow Ride Take It Easy' that my friend Jeff sent me. Well, another reader also sent me a road sign that looks like it's in England.

That's pretty good.  Well, it's Sunday and somewhere in Texas a church is having a
Texas Testicle Festival. I don't know what that is, but if you don't believe me, look at this real banner.

That's just not right.  Alright, well, it's still summer and all through summer I have been showing you some phascinating swimming pools. Here's the latest a Phile reader sent me...

It's the deepest indoor swimming pool. Nemo 33 is actually 34.5 meter deep. The last 1.5 meters was supposed to be used to place an extra filter to keep the water clear. It turned out that they didn't need the extra filter, so Nemo33 is a little bit deeper than originally planned. And now, from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's...

Top Phive Similarities And Differences Between Edward Snowden And OJ Simpson
5. Gained fame for his determined running.
4. Is known to close friends as "Nordberg".
3. Can competently catch and throw a football.
2. Was invited to Julian Assange's pool party last month.
And the number one similarity and difference between Snowden and Simpson...
1. Knows how to say "May I please have asylum" in 14 languages.

It's 10:07, 85 degrees and Kelly faces export ban over Jane Austen ring. This is complete bullshit. No one from UK would love ring more than Kelly.

Alright, well, it's time for our good phriend to tell us a story. He's a patriot, singer and renaissance man. Please welcome back to the Phile... Laird Jim.

Good morning, humans. Monday just texted me "I'm on my way... enjoy the last of your weekend, jackass!" Nasty little prick, he is. At All American Burger getting a vanilla shake and I notice this soccer mom bitching out her young daughter for crying over her shake that just spilled onto the pavement. I put the straw in my just paid for shake, handed it to the little girl, leaned over and whispered into mom's ear, "Stop being such a cunt... before you turn her into YOU." I believe, my work here is done.

He said the c-word again. LOL. Good job, Laird. Alright, if you spot the Mind Phuck email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com.

Today's pheatured guest is the lead singer and guitarist for the band Cab 20 whose latest release "Holy Denim Faded Vibrations" is available on iTunes. What a great name of an album. Please welcome to the Phile... Bert Hoover.

Me: Hey, Bert, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Bert: I'm great.

Me: Where are you guys from? California, right?

Bert: We are all from California. Jason and I are from El Segundo. Eric is from Fullerton.

Me: Your band Cab 20 has been described as The Faces and more recently The Black Keys. How would you describe your music?

Bert: Rock & roll.

Me: Well, that narrows it down. You guys seem so young, I cannot imagine what bands you listened to growing up these last few years.

Bert: We listen to a bit of everything. The juke box in my living room consist of Johnny Cash, Sly & the Family Stone, Nirvana, The Racontuers, FIDLAR and more.

Me: So, who is in the band, Bert?

Bert: Mtself, Jason Almanza and Eric Contreras.

Me: Where did you all meet? In school I am guessing.

Bert: Eric was in a different band and we would play a bunch of shows together. Our first drummer left so he decided to join. We found Jason through the Internet. He coincidentally lived across town.

Me: I downloaded your album "Holy Denim Faded Vibrations" and your EP "Cactus" off from iTunes. And I enjoyed them both. You are currently working on a new EP. Why did you follow up albums with an EP

Bert: I think it was our managers idea to have us do an EP. I don't think we were ready to do another album at the time.

Me: I have to ask you about this, you guys were featured on the show "Shark Tank". How did that happen?

Bert: Tom (our manager) got us on it. I guess he knew someone.

Me: I love reality TV shows but have never watched "Shark Tank". What is the premise of the show and how did you guys fit in?

Bert: Someone pitches an idea to a group of investors and they decide if they want to fund said idea. Our pitch was Cab 20.

Me: I am sure it helped with the sales of your music, am I right?

Bert: Yeah.

Me: Bert, you play a Sears Roebuck guitar mostly, am I right? I love those guitars. Have you heard of Dexter Romweber? He plays those guitars as well. He used to be in the band Flat Duo Jets.

Bert: I play mostly vintage guitars like Silvertone and Harmony. Flat Duo Jets are rad, they are also in my juke box.

Me: I am guessing you kids play all over California. Are you planning on touring the country?

Bert: We play mostly in the LA area. We are slowly expanding. Hopefully we will be touring in the near future.

Me: Do you guys do any covers in your shows?

Bert: We used to, but not really anymore. Most recently we covered "No Friend of Mine" by the Swamp Rats.

Me: Hey, I didn't ask you about the band name Cab 40. Where does it come from?

Bert: The old bassist and I we're shooting names around and that one stuck.

Me: Thanks so much for being here,  Bert, you kids rock. Go ahead and plug your websites and please come back soon when the new release comes out.

Bert: Thanks for having us. Cab20music.com.

Me: All the best, guys. "Holy Denim Faded Vibrations" is available on iTunes now. Great album.

They're a great band, but I have to admit, that wasn't the best interview. I blame most of it on me. Haha. Anyway, that about does it for this entry. Thanks to Laird Jim and Bert Hoover. The Phile will be back tomorrow with singer Jenn Bostic. Next Saturday it's jazz singer Stephanie Nakasian. Sunday it's the guys from the band Blade of Grass and Monday it's singer and musician Adam Daniel. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Strawberry Blondes Forever!

Pheaturing Jenn Fiorentino

Hey there, and welcome to the Phile. How are you? Let's talk about some crazy news... Pope Francis went to Rio in South America and announced that he would not judge anyone who is gay. That's what Pope Francis said. That must have been some trip to Rio. He said if someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge? It's the same reason he turned down the vacant judge job on "Project Runway." Pope Francis still does not support the idea of female priests. He said women cannot be priests because Jesus chose male apostles. And also because letting women in there would ruin all the fun. I mean, let's be honest.  Have you seen the new blockbuster movie The Wolverine? I reviewed it last weekend on the Phile. It stars Hugh Jackman, and he's pumped up. To get all buffed out, he had to consume 6,000 calories a day. Hearing this, the governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, said "Oh, yeah? Then what did you have for dinner?"  The French Riviera, last weekend, had a $53 million jewel heist, and the police went into action. They've rounded up Sean Connery, Michael Caine, Lindsay Lohan, and the mastermind of the jewel heist... Carlos Danger, gaucho of love. Speaking of Carlos Danger, Republicans have accused Carlos Danger of being in the United States illegally.  Did you hear this? In Oregon a guy tried to rob a gun store with a baseball bat. They're calling it the most ineffective use of a bat since the Miami Marlins.  Things are not looking good for former New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez. It looks like he may spend the rest of his life in jail. On the plus side, Hernandez says he's looking forward to playing on the prison football team under coach Whitey Bulger. Speaking of prison, OJ Simpson is supposedly up to around 300 pounds. In fact, OJ is now the leading cause of prison overcrowding. OJ is so fat, he’s asking for the death penalty just so he can get the last meal.  It’s been a rough week for Anthony Weiner. His campaign manager in the race for mayor just quit because of Weiner’s newest scandal. And it's tough finding a replacement because every time he emails someone, they're like, “I'm not opening that.” This new sexting scandal was too much, so his campaign manager called it quits. Weiner was like, “What kind of person quits because of something like that?” Then voters said, “Ideally? You.”  I read that 25 percent of toddlers in America know how to use an iPad... while 100 percent of toddlers in China know how to make one.  There's talk that HBO is actually running out of story ideas for “Game of Thrones” because the author hasn't finished the final two books in the series. That's when you know books are hurting... when even the guy writing them is like, “Ahh, I'll just watch the TV show.”  So, tomorrow they're supposed to announce the 12th Doctor for "Doctor Who". You don't have to wait, kids, I have the exclusive right here.

That's so stupid. The Doctor is not gonna be Darth Vader. I just had to use that picture somewhere. Seriously though, they are gonna announce the actor who is gonna be the 12th Doctor tomorrow. I will tell you, even though I'll be on TV as the Doctor, I will still do this blog thing. Haha. I want Kelly Clarkson to be my companion.  Have you seen the new Subway ad? It's very clever.

I have to show you this... this guy is known as the UCF Jedi.

He regularly will find people on campus preaching messages of hate and intolerance, and will jump up next to them and begin to preach the wise words of the Jedi Order. Recently he stood up to members of the Westborough Baptist Church who decide to protest at UCF. I just wanted everyone out there to know how much of a badass this guy is. Well done, Jedi guy, well done. He looks a little like John Popper, right? I wonder if he has a harmonica under his robes.  Something else I have to show you which I think is cool. My good friend Jeff who has been on the Phile a lot with the Phootball Talk With Jeff pheature, sent me this. 

I don't know where that is, but I wanna go there. Okay, so it's summer and all through summer I have been showing you some phascinating swimming pools. I ran out of pools to show you, so some of you readers have been sending me pictures. Take this one for instance.

Lake Hévíz is the largest thermal swimming lake in Europe (47,500 square metres in area). The flow of water is very strong and the lake is believed to be completely replenished each day. Okay, technically that's not a pool, but it's cool. Alright, let's see who is worm food this week...

Harry F. Byrd, Jr.
Dec 20, 1914 - July 30, 2013
Oh, hooray. Another politician without a "Scandals" section.

William Scranton
July 19, 1917 - July 28, 2013
He was a fantastically wealthy scandal-less politician from New England. They can't all be Weiners. 

Eileen Brennan
Sept 3, 1932 - July 28, 2013
I could have sworn she was dead already...

Brandy (Aubrey Plaza) is a 1993 high school valedictorian with a Trapper Keeper full of Type-A lists. She's going to college soon and wants to be prepared. But when her friends (Alia Shawkat, Sarah Steele) take her to a graduation night blowout, Brandy drunkenly makes out with the hot guy at the party (Scott Porter) and her summer plans change. Not wanting to be left behind socially in college she makes another list, one of sexual activities that would make an NC-17 movie blush. She she sets about to accomplish the hot-and-bothered tasks over the course of a summer spent working as a lifeguard at the local pool, even if it means using the sweet boy who loves her (Johnny Simmons) as little more than a prop toward her sense of adult accomplishment... which, if you think about it, is a very cold April Ludgate thing to do. But the list is where the "action" mostly begins and ends (if, in fact, you think the mere writing down of extreme sex acts in loopy, teenage girl handwriting is funny). There's a bit of pre-Internet amusement to be had concerning the idea of sex research, as Brandy considers asking her local librarian for help with defining some of the things she's about to do. And her awkwardness over talking about it all, even to her close friends ("Once I learn how to pearl necklace him...") is funny only because Plaza is a gifted comic actor and knows how to make awkwardness funny. After that the comedy fizzles and extinguishes itself. The rest is all dirty talk. And for a movie that comes out swinging with a loud blast of 2 Live Crew's still-shocking hit, "Me So Horny," that's a sharp fall down a steep cliff of fake naughtiness. What's left is schmoopy moralism, tiresome third-act hurt feelings, timidity, bras-on sex scenes, slut-shaming and, most exasperatingly, overt explanations about the lightbulb moment when a teenager learns the difference between sex and love. That it's been done before and better and fiercer and dirtier becomes almost beside the point. You just want someone onscreen, anyone, to do anything dirty and funny at the same time. But it never happens. Audiences old enough to watch this film already knows everything it's selling, making it that weirdest of products with no reason to exist: the R-rated sex comedy designed for children who shouldn't see it in the first place. And all of this without a single character doing anything a tenth as interesting as having sex with a pie. From one to ten, The To-Do List gets a 5.

Hey, before we move on I have a funny story to tell. Last Monday I went to Firestone getting my car looked at and the car salesmen says, "Peverett... Peverett. You have the last name as the singer from Foghat." I said, "Yep", wondering if he'll see my cap that says Foghat. He says, "Are you a fool for the city?" I said, "Yeah, and I took a slow ride to get here." He then says, "You look too young to know about Foghat." I pay and go to leave when he sees my cap. "Wow, Jason, you must be a big fan." I smiled and walked out. I was astonished he didn't put two and two together... Peverett, Foghat cap, Peverett, Foghat ca... wait a second. Maybe he did, but I was gone. LOL. I thought it was funny. Anyway, with a funnier story, here is good phriend of the Phile... patriot, singer, renaissance man. You know what time it is. It's...

Trooper: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Me: "No... why?" Trooper: "I pulled you over for speeding... Do you know how fast you were going?" Me: "Well... I was driving next to you, pacing you at the same speed.. and I know it's against the law for YOU to be speeding unless you're in pursuit of a criminal... so, it's safe to assume that I was doing the speed limit... isn't that right officer?" Trooper: "Who do you think you are?" Me: "I'm right for one thing... and the type of guy who'll make a lot of trouble for you if you write that ticket. Your move, Dudley Doright." Trooper: "Get off my parkway, wiseguy." Lesson learned here... never fuck with an Irish/Native American who knows the law.

Note to self... never fuck with Irish... got it. Good job, Laird. You're braver than I am. Okay, here's the Mind Phuck, kids.

If you spot the Mind Phuck email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com.

Today's pheatured guest is a gorgeous and talented Canadian whose new album "From Darkness to Light" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Jenn Fiorentino.

Me: Hello, Jenn, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Jenn: Hello. I’m dandy! Just recovering from a day of making panzerottis and drinking wine.

Me: Cool. First of, I have to ask you, why do you live in Canada? I wish you lived in Florida. Have you ever been to Florida?

Jenn: Yes, I have been to Florida, I love it there, it’s beautiful. I don’t know why I live in Canada… I guess it’s probably because I was born here. My dad came from Italy when he was six, and my mom is from Scarborough. And then they eventually met and got married and stuff, and here I am. I would love to move elsewhere, just for a try, I’m not sure where though. Maybe Florida!

Me: Where in Canada are you from, Jenn?

Jenn: I was born in east Toronto, then my family and I pretty much immediately moved to a town (well, city now) call Markham, in the suburbs of Toronto. I’ve been living here ever since, except for one year in university when I lived in the city. That got expensive though…

Me: You said your dad was Italian... I thought your last name Fiorentino sounded Italian. So you are of Italian decent?

Jenn: Yes! My dad is from Bari in Southern Italy. So, I am half Italian, unfortunately I haven’t gotten a chance to go there yet… hopefully next year! My mom is from Canada, and I get some Irish and German from her side, and apparently a whole bunch of other crap according to my grandma.

Me: I ask every Canadian musician I interview if they are fans of one of my favorite ever bands... Barenaked Ladies. Are you a fan of them?

Jenn: Actually, not really. I mean, I don’t dislike them or anything, they are pretty funny, I just don’t really listen to them much. Although they do have this one song that always gets stuck in my head, even though I haven’t heard it for years, I think it’s called “Pinch Me” or something?

Me: Yeah, they do have a song called "Pinch Me".

Jenn: That line about underwear gets me every time.

Me: Jenn, it seems that every Canadian I interview knows Phile Alum Adam Bentley from the band the Rest. Do you know Adam?

Jenn: Yep, I met Adam once, he’s a super smart guy. I met him through my friend Kevin Ker in Future History. He’s one of those people who I could probably talk to for hours about music, both the artistic side and the business side. Although I haven’t heard any songs by the Rest, not sure if they are still together or not…?

Me: No, they just recently broke up. What music did you listen to growing up, and what music are you into now?

Jenn: Before my early teens, I listened to a lot of music that I would probably laugh at now. Stuff like Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, S Club 7; basically the equivalent of what kids prior to the age of 13 listen to now, it all makes me sick. Except those teeny bopper bands from the 90s were a hell of a lot better than the ones that exist today… at least that’s what my memory tells me, and anyone else who grew up in the 90s would probably agree with me. Probably because we grew up in the 90s. Music has a tendency to imprint itself upon our memory and take us back to our childhood… I believe it’s called “nostalgia”. Anyways, when I entered my early teens, the tables turned… well, kind of. It was actually more of a smooth transition from extremely lame, to almost as lame, to not-at-all-lame music. I basically went from listening to Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys, to Avril Lavigne and Good Charlotte, to Rise Against and Propagandhi. I was lucky enough to hear Joel Madden (I think?) of Good Charlotte sing a pop song about punk bands, haha. In some song about a “Riot Girl” or something, he mentioned Social Distortion and Minor Threat… the verse still rings true in my head. Shortly after, I stopped listening to mainstream pop punk and got into the real stuff. So, in effect, through their own lyrics and melodies, Good Charlotte managed to drive away one of their true fans (and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one)…but I have to thank them for it!

Me: Social Distortion is also one of my favorite bands, Jenn. Have you ever seen them in concert or met Mike Ness?

Jenn: Hell yeh! They are the tightest band I’ve ever seen perform live, and I tell that to everyone. Their songs aren’t too complicated, but the way they play them would probably be very hard to match. It probably helps that they have been performing together for over 30 years. Although even with a relatively new drummer they still sound amazing. And they have one of the best band names I’ve ever heard. But no, I haven’t yet had the privilege of meeting Mike Ness… I imagine it would be like meeting Johnny Cash, just with more tattoos.

Me: Speaking of tattoos... Before we talk about your music, I have to ask you about your tattoo on your chest... is it a bird? Does it mean anything? I think you can see it in this picture...

Jenn: Nope, it’s an hourglass with bat wings. I got the idea from The Lawrence Arms, one of my favourite bands. So, basically, it represents some of my favourite music; but of course it also represents the nature of time. It is fleeting, and it is precious, and we will never be able to relive the past, so we should make the most of our present.

Me: Do you have any other tattoos? I have four myself.

Jenn: Nice. Yes I have a treble clef behind my ear, and a rather large tattoo on my side/hip. It’s an idea I got from the cover of "Revolutions Per Minute", my favourite Rise Against album. It’s a grenade with headphones plugged in, but my tattoo artist (Ben Ackerman) likes adding his own touch, so he made the grenade explode. It’s friggen sweet.

Me: Alright, let's talk about your album which I downloaded from iTunes... "From Darkness to Light". When I first heard this album I was expecting something different, say no acoustic guitars, but I was very happy what I heard, Jenn. Did you write all the songs on the album?

Jenn: That’s awesome to hear! A lot of people suggest that I start using electric guitars for everything… but then some people say they prefer hearing just my vocals and acoustic guitar. So I guess it depends on the person. There are so many reasons why I prefer using an acoustic though. And yes, all the songs on the album were written by me, and there are many more to come!

Me: Are they songs reflecting your real life? Did you have a dark life?

Jenn: Yes, all the songs reflect my life, in the sense that I can deeply relate to them. Basically, every song I write is an extension of a thought or feeling I’ve had, or something I heard in a song, or read in a book, or saw on the street, that really moved me, or pissed me off or made me happy… but more often something that pissed me off. I write a lot of songs about society, more specifically capitalist society, and the corporate institutions that go along with it, since that’s what I experience every day. A lot of people hear punk music and say that it’s false angst; that punk bands sing about shit that they don’t really believe in. Actually, it’s the people commenting in that manner that don’t really believe in those things, because they choose not to believe in them, because it’s just easier to pull a curtain over reality and live in some dream where their choices have no effect on anyone. That’s why when people hear a band singing about global warming, or human rights, they say “that’s fucking stupid” because those things are just too complex for their little minds. I think we all have very dark lives, but few of us choose to bring that darkness to the surface and try to resolve it. I can’t say I’m an angel or anything, I do a lot of shit that has a negative effect on our planet and our society, but at least I’m able to say that, and write about it. I can’t stand all those happy-go-lucky, cliché songs that some artists come up with; they are devoid of all substance and they completely supress the dark thoughts and feelings that music is supposed to release. I’m not saying that all music should be dark, but if you are going to write a song at least put some feeling into it.

Me: This is your second release, right? How do the two compare?

Jenn: Yep, this is the follow up to my EP “Upon Our Wonders.” In terms of songwriting, I wouldn’t say it’s all that different, especially considering some of the songs on my new album were written before some of the ones on my EP. The main difference is that with my new album we used a full drum kit, and the production quality is much better; overall the album is a lot bigger sounding, and I hope to say that will all my albums to come.

Me: How long have you been songwriting and playing guitar, Jenn?

Jenn: I started writing songs before I even picked up a guitar. I can’t even remember when… I used to write poems and even sing them to myself sometimes, probably around the age of ten or eleven, when I began to realize how shitty the world could be. Luckily there was a vacant guitar lying around my house that my brother got for a birthday gift and never used, so I picked it up and started putting music to my lyrics. I’ve been writing songs ever since, and eventually figured that I would have to start playing these songs for people if I want to get anywhere with music. So here I am!

Me: Did you start off doing covers before you started writing your own stuff?

Jenn: Actually, no, not as far as I can remember. I think I might have learned a few riffs by some bands before composing a song; but as soon as I learned some chords I was writing immediately. I’ve always been much more of a songwriter than a cover artist. Unfortunately a lot of people watch the covers on my Youtube channel without actually checking out my originals. But on the bright side, I fucking love playing those covers, and they do lead a decent amount of people to my own music… I probably wouldn’t sell nearly as many albums as I do if it weren’t for Youtube.

Me: If you were going to record a Social Distortion song, what would it be?

Jenn: Well, I already did “Reach For The Sky”. Maybe “Don’t Drag Me Down”?

Me: Were you ever in a band or did you just play solo? I think I read you were in a band called Propagandhi, or they discovered you, or something? Am I right? Whatever they did I am glad they did it.

Jenn: Since I can’t see your face right now I can’t tell if you’re joking… but no, I was never in Propagandhi. Maybe in a dream or something... haha. I’ve been listening to those guys since my early teens. There was a dark phase where I wasn’t listening to them much, then I rediscovered them with Supporting Caste and holy crap! I went back and listened to "Potemkin City Limits", started learning their songs, and have been posting my covers of their songs to Youtube for the past couple of years. I never would have imagined them getting in touch with me and asking me to open for them in Toronto… that was pretty cool. Of course I was nervous as hell even though I only had to play a few songs, what a great night though.

Me: Your album is mostly acoustic, but you do have a band that plays with you? Who plays on the album with you, Jenn?

Jenn: Nope, the only time I have performed with someone else is when I held my release show for "Upon Our Wonders" in September of 2011, where I performed with Adam Campbell, the guy who played drums/percussion on the EP. I plan on performing with a band more often from now on though, I just need to find some people who are willing to dedicate themselves to it.

Me: If you need a kazoo player on your next album, I'm your man. LOL. Have you started or thought about your next album yet?

Jenn: Sweet! I could probably find a way to incorporate that... haha. And yes, I was thinking about my next album before I even started recording "From Darkness To Light". I certainly have enough material for another one, it’s just a matter of writing lead guitar and mandolin parts and harmonies, which can take a while. I’m hoping to be back in the studio by the fall of 2014.

Me: I have to ask you about the album cover, Jenn, who did the artwork, and why on Earth is there not a picture of you on the front cover?

Jenn: The amazing Sebas Theriault did the artwork for "From Darkness To Light", you can check out more of his work at steriodesign.com. I think I have way too many ideas in my head to just throw a picture of myself on the front cover, it would be a waste. There are some photos of me on the inside, and most people purchasing my album already know what I look like so I don’t think it’s really necessary to be on the cover. Plus, I can only really think of a couple albums that I own which feature the band on the front cover, so I’m just not really accustomed to it.

Me: Okay, so, on the Phile I ask at least one random question per interview thanks to a stack of cards called Tabletopics. Here we go... When you were young what did you want to be when you grew up?

Jenn: Haha, it’s funny, I have a yearbook from my grade 3 class, and I vividly remember my teacher calling each student up individually to ask that very same question. My response was “A ROCK STAR!” It was the most ridiculous answer among all of them. And I wasn’t even a singer or guitarist at that point. My main thing was soccer, but I guess I always had that urge in me to be a musician.

Me: My son said once in school he wanted to be a rock star as well. Jenn, thanks so much for being on the Phile, I hope it was fun, and I hope you will come back again soon. Go ahead and plug your website.

Jenn: Thanks for having me, I will definitely be back! Here are my main sites: jennfiorentino.com, youtube.com/jennymac1214.

Me: All the best, and take care.

Jenn: You too!

That about does it for this entry. Thanks to Laird Jim and of course Jenn Fiorentino. She is not only very attractive, and into cool music, but she's cool as well and very talented. Alright, the Phile will be back tomorrow with Bert Hoover, singer and guitarist for the band Cab 20, and then on Monday it's singer Jenn Bostic. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Strawberry Blondes Forever!