Rabbit. Woah, I'm half way there, woah, liven' on a square. Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile on a Wednesday. It's April 1st. That's crazy, right? The King of Thailand is taking heat from his lowly, filthy peasants... emphasis on ants... for doing rad king stuff while COVID-19 ravages the rest of the world. Apparently, King Maha Vajiralongkorn, also known as Rama X, has recused himself in the Grand Hotel Sonnenbichl, a five-star Alpine hotel in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany, to weather the 'rona storm while the rest of his country suffocates from the inside out. Rama X did some light packing for his trip. An entourage of over 100 and, of course, his harem of twenty female concubines. No word on if he also brought his four wives, but this is kind of a vacation so… probably not. Rama’s subjects aren’t taking this ill-timed sex vacation very well. Tens of thousands have criticized their king online despite the fact that doing so is illegal and risks up to 15 years in jail... Thai jail... under the country’s lèse-majesté laws. A Thai language hashtag that translates to “Why do we need a king?” appeared 1.2 million times on Twitter after news of the king’s trip broke. The king has apparently not made a public appearance since February. I’ve never lived under a king, but if I did, I’m not sure I’d be all that surprised or upset at behavior like this. I might even enjoy it. I mean, if I’m going to live under a king, he should at least be pretty rad, right? You kind of have to just assume your king is going to be hosting orgies while wearing nothing but an open, wine-stained robe, don’t you? You don’t want some nerd king. Louis XVI was a nerd king and look what happened to him. No but seriously this guy is going to get his head chopped off, though.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell says President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial distracted the federal government from paying attention to the novel coronavirus as it reached the United States in January. McConnell, a Kentucky Republican, told conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt last Tuesday that the deadly virus “came up while we were tied down on the impeachment trial. And I think it diverted the attention of the government, because everything every day was all about impeachment.” The Trump administration has been severely criticized for its slow response to the spreading pandemic, especially for the shortage of coronavirus testing kits when the infection first spread to the U.S. from China. Trump initially downplayed the crisis, comparing it to the seasonal flu and declaring it may go away on its own. The administration also has been criticized for not supplying needed protective medical gear for health care workers tackling the crisis. McConnell said Republican Senator Tom Cotton of Arkansas was among the first in Congress to raise an alarm about the virus. Cotton, an outspoken critic of China’s communist government, has said he does not trust China to act truthfully about the virus. “He was first, and I think Tom was right on the mark,” McConnell said. “Tom figured this out early, and he was absolutely right. Cotton said earlier this month he was looking into holding China “accountable” for the coronavirus pandemic, which he referred to as the “Wuhan coronavirus.” The virus originated in the Chinese city of Wuhan. The U.S. death toll from the coronavirus has climbed past 3,500, eclipsing China’s official count. The Trump administration briefed the Senate on Jan. 24th... during the impeachment trial... but the threat posed by the virus was not widely understood.
A baboon who suspected something was real up and that it might never again be him escaped with two of his lady friends while he was being driven to his vasectomy. The baboon, which was on its way to have its manhood forcibly retired at the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney, Australia, escaped from its crate due to a faulty lock according to Brad Hazzard, the health minister for the state of New South Wales and namesake for a C Tier Marvel villain from the Outback. Riding with the male baboon were two female companions who, according to reports, were there to “keep him calm,” which is sort of like showing a death row inmate a PowerPoint presentation of all the cool stuff in the future and priceless family moments he’ll miss because he’s being executed, but okay. The 15-year-old baboon was scheduled for a vasectomy because they no longer wanted him breeding so that he could retire happily and live out his days eating fruits and napping instead of fighting other baboons from his troop in suburban Wallacia to the death for the right to mate with a female 10 years younger than him. Fortunately for hospital workers and the authorities, the baboons didn’t make too much trouble once they got out. They mostly just wandered around the hospital grounds and scouted things out. Plus the baboon probably wanted to feel the fresh air, grass, and tree bark on his testicles just one more time before saying goodbye. Experts from the Taronga Zoo were eventually called in to tranquilize and catch the baboons, which they did after the animals were cornered by local authorities. So at least that baboon got to go under the knife believing he had the most important testicles in the world.
Two New Jersey state troopers are facing child pornography charges after exchanging explicit text messages about an underage girl. According to authorities, 35-year-old Andrea V. Knox of Mount Holly received child pornography from an already indicted trooper and failed to report the crime to police. Forty-eight-year-old Jeffrey Reitz had allegedly sent Knox images of naked children at a nudist location by text back in 2018. Reitz was indicted back in December on two counts of possession of child pornography in a case involving explicit online exchanges but with a different woman. In that case, the woman stated he molested her 5-year-old daughter. The trooper allegedly sent the woman, “ANY PICS?” The woman responded by sending him an explicit photo of the child’s genitals and Reitz replied, “NICE!” Authorities also noted Reitz also sent the woman pictures of his genitals back. The email exchange, which occurred in 2014, was discovered during an investigation of the woman who is now serving a seven-year prison sentence for allowing a child to engage in pornography. Investigators were able to find additional images of child porn in Reitz’s iCloud, where they found evidence of his explicit convocation with Knox. Knox, who is assigned to Troop D Moorestown was charged with second-degree official misconduct and third-degree possession of child porn. She was succeeded from her job by the New Jersey State Police. Knox had allegedly also encouraged Reitz by asking for details about the sex acts he would like to “perform on an underage girl.” In the new case, Reitz also charged with second-degree distribution of child porn and was suspended by state police since his arrest earlier last year. The troopers were both arrested after an investigation done by the Financial and Cyber Crimes Bureau of the state’s Division of Criminal Justice. The lawyer representing Reitz, Stuart J. Alterman, defended his client, noting he “is not guilty, and we will work through his exoneration and restoration to duty.”
It looks like TikTok has done it again. A disturbing and gross video popped up on the social media app last month, showing a shirtless man submerged inside an industrial Wendy’s sink, just nonchalantly taking a bath like if it was a hot tub. The 23-second video was originally posted as a TikTok video, but managed to make its rounds on Facebook where it stirred commotion. The video shows a young man sitting inside the restaurant’s kitchen sink, which is used to wash kitchen items throughout the day. The boy is seen laughing and joking inside and scrubbing himself with a sponge, as two men, one co-worker who is wearing a Wendy’s uniform and another behind the camera, laughing along. After the incident went viral, 19-year-old Paul Kash was fired from the Wendy’s located in Greenville, Michigan. Kash stated his manager saw the clip a few days later after it was posted and confronted him. He stated, “I fell asleep at like 6 p.m. [the following day], and then woke up at 11 to my friend calling me saying, ‘Hey, you’re on the news.’ I was like ‘what?’” Not only did Kash lose his. job, but so did everyone else involved in the incident. Christian Camp, Wendy’s vice president of human resources, publicly spoke about the incident, condemning the clip as “completely unacceptable.” Still, the video kept being shared by online users, calling the act “moronic” and “disgusting.” Because well, can you blame them? This kid literally got inside a fast food restaurant sink and decided to bathe in it. Can you imagine all the germs in there? The little extra scraps of food just floating around while he’s just happily looking around trying to get some likes and followers? Nah, yuck. This is to another level of gross. Plus, he just copied that other Wendy’s employee who tried to do the same thing and got fired. Still, this kid did note that he’s ultimately just trying to move on from the incident and is focused on “bettering himself” trying to figure out what his career will look like in the near future. Do I blame him for trying this? Nah, he’s a teenager, I’ve seen them do worse things, obviously. But come one dude, you’re 19. This is just plain stupid. I’m sure the health department was left with a bad taste in their mouth after watching this.
They tell me if I go to Walmart I'd see some strange sights. I didn't believe it until I saw this...
Hahaha. Whatever helps. Some people are taking protective items a little bit too far though.
It is a mask. Some famous paintings are even protecting themselves from the coronavirus...
Haha. I've been talking about people are using the virus as pickup lines on dating apps. Like this person...
Haha. People are dumb. So, are you watching that "Tiger King" show? I refuse to watch it. It is not to be confused with the similar cartoon on Fox though.
Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...
Top Phive New Movies Based On Being Quarantined
5. Look W.H.O.'s Talking
4. Honey, I Flunk The Kids
3. Nobody's Coming To America
2. Ferris Bueller's Year Off
And the number one new movie based on being quarantined is...
1. Edward Washinghands
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know, kids. Okay, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, here's another story from this state that probably couldn't happen anywhere else...
During this time while the coronavirus seems to be winning, many influential people have stepped up to boost morale and lead by example on how to tackle the COVID-19 crisis. Leaders have more power than they realize because their patrons are watching them more closely now more than ever. However, it’s important to realize that just because you’re a leader, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily… a wise one. Rodney Howard-Browne, a 58-year-old pastor of the megachurch in Tampa, Florida, was arrested on charges of unlawful assembly and violating public health emergency order. The River at Tampa Bay Church still held two services along with a live stream, with reckless disregard for the nationwide “stay-at-home” order, having up to 500 of its members in physical attendance. The Tampa megachurch even offered bus transportation so that people could attend the church services. Sheriff Chad Chronister and State Attorney Andrew Warren had issued the arrest warrant for Rodney Howard-Browne that resulted in the megachurch pastor turning himself in. He was released only forty minutes later after posting a 500 dollar bond. Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister stated that deputies had tried two different times to speak to the megachurch pastor about the dangers of ignoring the home order and proceeding with his Sunday services and church services. But Pastor Rodney Howard-Browne refused to see them and continued to ignore their pleas. According to Chronister, the megachurch has the technology to stream their church services and that the warrant was not an attack on religious freedom. He could not stress enough that the only concerns regarded the spread of the coronavirus. However, Pastor Howard-Browne decided to hide behind the first amendment even though the state is justified in asking that the congregants not meet physically. Even other local Florida church leaders stood behind Chronister in supporting the enforcement of the declared state of emergency. Everyone knows that this isn’t a government vs. religious freedom ordeal. This is strictly concerning the safety of the congregants AND the people they interact with outside of that. In response, Pastor Howard-Browne stood his ground on keeping his church open by posting a video on his YouTube channel explaining his defense. The Tampa Bay church also stated on its website that “it would be wrong” to close its doors on its worshipers because they need the “comfort and community.” The Florida megachurch pastor’s attorney argued that the church is taking the proper precautions to function like the other companies that Hillsborough County allowed to stay open. Apparently, they marked places to social distance 500 people at least six feet apart in a building made to probably fit that much when everyone’s standing closer together… yeah, unlikely. To add-on to how “bullet-proof,” this church is in stopping the spread of the coronavirus during their Sunday services, Liberty Counsel founder Mat Staver, in defense of the church, stated that $100,000 worth of hospital-grade equipment has been “established” throughout the church that kills microbes including the family of COVID-19. Well, cue the big sigh, as I know the first thing I could do with $100,000 worth of that kind of hospital-grade equipment is giving it to hospitals where it’ll be more effective with professionals instead of installing in a building where hand sanitizer and quarantine would be more appropriate. I mean, if you want to represent your religion, wouldn’t you utilize this opportunity to reach out to those unlike yourself? Help the government tackle this in the name of God instead of waste the government’s time and resources more in violating basic orders because of your pride? But what do I know, I’m not an esteemed leader.
The basketball player who mocked coronavirus by touching all the mics and tested a positive a few days later.
Okay, I think Andrew Cuomo, the governor in New York is doing a really good job. That is just my opinion. I was wondering what a friend of the Phile and a New Yorker thought about him. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...
Good morning, humans. I want you all to think about this, next time you’re praising Saint Andrew... next time you’re posting about how Presidential he’s acting through all this... next time you’re checking into a Long Island hospital and remember how this man gave the green light to shipping 1,300 COVID-19 patients from NYC hospitals to Nassau and Suffolk Hospitals this week (yes, it’s true).
Hmmm. I think he's doing a great job, but then again I'm not living in New York.
Netflix Originals
Netflix Originals are the earth's most abundant natural resource.
This is soooo cool. s an American multi-instrumentalist, songwriter, record producer and arranger, best known as the frontman of the band Booker T. & the M.G.'s. His memoir Time Is Tight: My Life, Note by Note is the 118th book to be pheatufred in the Phile's Book Club. Please welcome to the Phile... Booker T. Jones!
Me: Hello, sir, welcome to the Phile. It's so cool to have you here.
Booker T.: Thank you, thank you for having me.
Me: Where did you grow up, sir?
Booker T.: Memphis, Tennessee where I started playing on the Stax records as a teenager.
Me: Okay, I have to talk about the members of the M.G.'s. In your book you said that "Plum Nellie" was when Steve Cropper became "Steve Cropper." What did you love most about Steve Cropper as a musician?
Booker T.: Well, I think it brought out the genius part of him where it was most accessible in that song "Plum Nellie." He kind of played background on "Green Onions" and he played the background part on a lot of the songs but "Plum Nellie" was clearly a guitar song. He shows his versatility and virtuosity and "Plum Nellie" in a way is so completely unique and I think anyone who was interested in the guitar paid attention to it. It established a new style of playing the guitar. So many rock musicians took their cues from Cropper in the way he played the low strings and the high strings.
Me: Okay, so what made Donald "Duck" Dunn such a special bass player?
Booker T.: His best signature song was "Hip-Hug Her" by Booker T. & the M.G.'s. That's where he turned up his bass too loud like it was the last song he'll ever play as long as he lived. He really went for broke on that and I don't know, he was just a single minded guy and he would poke out his lips and once those lips were poked put he was concentrating and focusing so much his whole body was taking and he was just playing into the music, into the groove. He was a special bass player like nobody else.
Me: And then there was Al Jackson on drums. At one point you call him he most talented drummer in the book. Why do you think that?
Booker T.: Al Jackson can keep the temp and play a fill better than any other drummer I worked with. So with those three, if I was a craps player I couldn't lose. I can't lose with that band. I took so much credit, and I got so much credit but walking with those three into the studio how could it possibly because there's going to be a groove. Even when they're playing something not good, out even if they were playing badly there was a good groove to it. So it was a great combination of a really sexual thing.
Me: Okay, so what about you, sir? What was the most valuable thing you brought to Booker T. & the M.G.'s?
Booker T.: Well, I think I brought what I said in the book, they would challenge me and I would take a dive down into my musical self and try to find something and bring it up. I brought up a lot of bad stuff, I kept adding. Maybe that was the best thing about me was, I kept persisting and never gave up. I would say I would dive down and bring up a pebble but other times I would bring up a pearl now and then.
Me: Okay, let's talk about your most well known song... "Green Onions." Do you ever get tired of hearing that song?
Booker T.: It's one of my favorite songs, I still like it.
Me: So, in the book you say something about it that's very interesting. Tell the readers about it.
Booker T.: At this point I was studying music and composition with my high school band teacher. Like I said in the book I thought what if the rules applied to a 12-bar blues pattern, what if the bottom bass went up while the top note of the triad went down like in the Bach fugues.
Me: What? Can you explain that a little bit more?
Booker T.: Yes, Bach was the inspired one in Europe who originated and who established the well-tempered bass system we all use here in the west for music. It's 12 notes and Bach established the relationship between those 12 notes. We don't use all 12 at the same time, we use a combination. Sometimes we use 2 notes or 3 notes on a chord and so the three notes of the chord I use in "Green Onions" normally in the blues music the third note would be a major third but in "Green Onions" the third note is a minor. So that was he revelation I had in the theory class, but the general structure is the 12-bar blues structure.
Me: Did you enjoy the rules and the structure of music theory?
Booker T.: I did. I think I was one of the ones in Memphis who broke most rules, especially with songs like "Time is Tight," they're not normal musical rules.
Me: How did you break the rules with "Time is Tight"?
Booker T.: "Time is Tight" goes to the fourth chord of the seventh bar rather than the fifth bar and it turns out to be a 14-bar phrase accompanied by an 8-bar phrase. That's what we call the "golden ratio," the ratio between the 8 and 14 is a special relationship.
Me: I have no idea what all this means but I'm sure some readers might. The book explains a lot of music theory's, which is kinda cool, right?
Booker T.: I think so. A lot of people thought I got a little too nerdy with so much of the music explanation in the book.
Me: I have to mention Otis Redding. How old were you when you met Otis Redding and what was that like?
Booker T.: I was 17-years-old and he was 20.
Me: Did you know it was special right away?
Booker T.: I felt special and I thought it would feel special to other people. Yes, I did.
Me: Why is that?
Booker T.: For starters he sat down next to me at the organ and started to sing right on cue in B-flat. How did he know what key? I mean he had a perfect pitch or something similar.
Me: What was the first song he sang?
Booker T.: "These Arms Are Mine."
Me: What made Otis different than all the rest?
Booker T.: I think it was where he was coming from. I think it was the humbleness and the dedication to the music and just the amount of love he had for singing and for writing songs, and for emoting. I loved too hear him plead when he was singing.
Me: In the final recordings you did with Otis Redding you said "he was like a man possessed," is that right?
Booker T.: Yes.
Me: What did you mean by that?
Booker T.: Well, he took on a personality that we have never seen before. He always was obsessed with making music, he was never insistent on the things that he insisted on for that week. He started asking people not to go home and he started asking us to bring food in from outside. Some people actually slept on the floor, I know one night I slept on the floor. We were in a state when we were calling home and saying we were going to be spending a little more time in the studio. What we were doing was we were going from one side to the other without stopping and he had just written is many beautiful songs. I felt like he was possessed because he had a little bit of tone to his personality. He was never dictatorial, but he was really needing us to stay there and he sequestered in the studio for a number of days actually. It didn't end until we recorded "Try a Little Tenderness."
Me: When you listen to "(Sittin' On) the Dock of the Bay" what comes to mind?
Booker T.: Once again with Otis I had to focus and not get lost in the music. I had constantly be in the mind that I was playing the piano and content where I was in the song and what chords I was playing and what attitude I wanted to out into it. I very much enjoyed the session but it was one where I had to focus because it was such a different type of song that we recorded with. It wasn't a funky song, it wasn't "Satisfaction" or it wasn't "Respect." So I tried to keep in mind and put a nautical feel to the piano part. That's what I was thinking about.
Me: Was it hard to go on after Otis had passed?
Booker T.: It was, yes, especially for Stax as a company. He became a force that kept us together.
Me: Booker T. & the M.G.'s crossed racial lines, with two black musicians and two white. Did that out pressure on you as a band?
Booker T.: Yes, absolutely. It set a good example but at the same time there was pressure. There's no situation in life where we could create a family where it could be perfect. If we were the first interracial band then we were going to have our arguments and differences. Sometimes major differences and so those get blown up and they are larger than life in some cases. It's impossible for each band member to live up to the expectation that they think that society dictates. So, yes, there's pressure.
Me: You write in the book that when Dr. King was assassinated it produced a purpose in you. "As a result I always lead with my heart often violating long standing rules in the process." What did you mean by that?
Booker T.: Well, the world has continued without Dr. King so we're at a disadvantage here. A lot of people won't admit that. He was adding to the world so much like Mahatma Gandhi did. Other people have to take up I think when that happens. That's what happened to me. I feel a sense of purpose to bring the spiritual element to everything, do what I counteract some of the negativity I can in the ways I can and the music is a great way to do that.
Me: Do you think it changed the music you made?
Booker T.: To be honest with you, Jason, I think it changed the energy of everything that came out of Memphis from 1968 and on to be honest with you. I think it changed the way garbage workers operated, I think it changed the musicians and people viewed of the town of Memphis, I think it changed its legacy. It was huge event.
Me: And it affected the band, right?
Booker T.: Yes, Dr. King's murder made me realize that the racial dynamics at Stax records were maybe more complicated than I thought.
Me: How so?
Booker T.: It brought to light things that were hidden. People had to talk about the subject that we normally wouldn't talk about. We never talked about race in my band, not one single time did we talk about the struggle, the Civil Rights struggle, the Freedom Riders coming into town to Memphis and Mississippi by the way of Memphis. That was never a discussion in our band so it was a subject that I don't know was purposely bypassed, it just never came up. But I think things were attitudes that were taken for granted and the truth was more brought to light by Dr. King's murder.
Me: Do you think it would've been better if you guys talked about race?
Booker T.: I think unfortunately the things happened the way they were supposed to, to be honest. I think the attitudes in the south were ingrained from the 1800s on. Those attitudes were ingrained in so many of the Memphis residence I don't think it was something that could be so easily altered and changed. It was something that needed to be worked on and a lot effort put in to.
Me: Does it make you look back differently at Booker T. & the M.G.'s music which to me is some of the greatest music ever made?
Booker T.: No, it doesn't change. I love the music. I'm so happy to have been involved with it. I think it was a gift to me, personally. To have had the opportunity to have played with those guys and be involved with them. It doesn't change that, and I'm not sure if would've had happened if the racial climate had been different to be honest with you.
Me: That's fair. Thanks so much for being on the Phile, sir. Please come back again soon. Stay well.
Booker T.: Thanks, Jason, good talking to you.
That about does to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Booker T. for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with actor Michael K. Williams who played Omar on "The Wire." Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Stay inside.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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