Hi there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday! How are you? I can imagine the Queen saying, "Joke's on them. Harry and Meghan will never feel financially independent because my face is on Canadian money, too." People around the world have been transfixed by the latest episode in the world's longest-running reality show, the life of the British Royal Family. Last week, Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan announced that they'd rather not live at the mercy of the racist British press, and spend more time with their son in Canada (and on Instagram). Thousands of people applauded Prince Harry for putting his wife and child first and pulling his wife and child away from what he describes as "the same powerful forces" that killed his mum, Princess Diana. Meanwhile, with no sense of irony, the aforementioned racist British press devoted its front pages to calling Meghan a cruel Lady Macbeth who pulled Harry away from his family and country, thus proving their point. After Monday's Sandringham Summit, which forced the Queen into a room with her son and grandsons, Her Majesty released an official statement accepting the Sussexes' resignation. "Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working members of the royal family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family," sounding like a loving Gran. While the summit seems to have gone well, people are wondering why Harry and Meghan wanting to go to Vancouver prompted a more intense reaction, than, say, the fact that Prince Andrew was implicated in an international sex trafficking ring. People are also blaming the Royal Family for not standing up for Meghan before it got to this boiling point. A Member of Parliament running to be leader of the liberal Labour Party has gone as far as calling for a Royal Referendum. Advertising If history is any indication, the U.K. will hold a referendum on abolishing the monarchy, and then still struggle to implement its result four years later.
Of all the New Yorkers and all of the court cases, supermodel Gigi Hadid walked into jury selection for Harvey Weinstein's trial. The New York Daily News reports that Hadid was at Manhattan Criminal Court on Monday as one of the 120 New Yorkers called for jury duty. When asked by Judge James Burke whether she knew anybody on the defense or the prosecution, Hadid said that she had met the defendant. "I have met Salma Hayek and possibly Ryan Beatty," she added. "I think I’m still able to keep an open mind on the facts."
This is Senator Cory Booker.
He was running for president, and now he is not. He is, however, still dating Rosario Dawson, which was a major theme both of his campaign and the responses to him throwing in the towel. The name "Rosario Dawson" was trending higher on Twitter than his own, which is pretty embarrassing. Also embarrassing: Disney was hoping Booker would win so they could reboot "Cory in the House."
The heated debate around vaccinations has showed no signs of slowing in the past few years. Because of the growth of once fringe community of anti-vaxxers has steadily increased in the past decade so much that several U.S. states have implemented personal-belief exemption bans, which means parents can no longer opt out of vaccines due to their belief systems. Sadly, parents are still finding other loopholes, with many of them switching to religious exemptions, while others choose to homeschool their children or pressure doctors to write notes. While the reasons people state for opposing vaccines vary, with some feeling largely anti-medicine, others fearing the side effects, and ableists claiming vaccines cause autism even though it's been scientifically disproven, the biggest driver behind the anti-vaxx community is misinformation. And this is where the issue doesn't lie solely on them, but a fractured education system that doesn't equally empower people with the basics of science. In a recent Twitter thread, someone shared a screenshot of a Facebook post (the Internet is truly a winding road) by someone who empathized with the concerns of anti-vaxxers. In the screenshot, the original poster shared that they themselves aren't anti-vaxx, but they understand why parents don't want "those chemicals" in their children's bodies. As an alternative, they suggested children be given a small piece of the virus so they could build an immunity. People on Twitter were quick to point out the fact that giving kids a "small piece of the virus" is exactly what vaccines are. While it's depressing to see their blatant disconnect, some people found hope in it, and suggested rebranding vaccines to loop anti-vaxxers back into the fray. Still, others think piling onto someone for their ignorance isn't the right way to go, and believe this high level of disconnect reflects far more on our education system than individuals. What do you think... is it better to focus on gently educating those who put our health at risk, or is shaming them into submission a better route?
If I had a vagina and it smelled like "geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed," I'd go see my doctor. But, then again, I'm also no Gwyneth Paltrow. Her shop Goop recently introduced a 75 dollar candle named This Smells Like My Vagina. Described as having a "funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent," the overpriced candle is not meant to actually smell like Paltrow's private parts (thank goodness). The original description, now removed, explains, "This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP. The two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, 'Uhhh... this smells like a vagina'..." The rest is votive history. If you were hoping to get a whiff of (this) vagina (candle), sorry weirdo, it's already sold out.
Tons of memes made us laugh last year, but a select few went crazy viral. I didn't see Joker, but I did see Joker memes dominating my timeline in 2019...
That's not really that funny. If I had a TARDIS I would probably end up on Alcatraz just as everyone is being let go...
As I said on Monday's entry the press cover Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton so differently. Check this out...
See what I mean? Harry meanwhile now has a new job.
He looks so happy there. Ever see those people with the signs asking for money or food, on the side of the road? Some of those people are so clever...
Hahahaha. So, Céline Dion is the guest on the Phile today. Do you know who is a big fan of Céline? I will show you...
That's crazy, right? Ever get a note from your neighbor like this?
Or left a note like that? So, future kids, this is Elon Musk...
Hahaha. It's Thursday, and you know what that means...
Oh, my god! That's fucking disgusting! Ugh!!! Look away!!! Let's move on. It's time to talk football with my good friend Jeff.
Me: Hey, Jeff, welcome back to the Phile. How are you?
Jeff: Hey, Jason, always glad to be back on the Phile talking some phootball. I'm doing all right, how about you?
Me: I'm good. Had to get some blood work done this afternoon but other than that I'm good. Jeff, Patriots players don’t know what to do with themselves in January without having football games to play. New England wide receiver Julian Edelman was arrested Saturday night and charged with vandalism after jumping on the hood of a car in Beverly Hills, California. Edelman was intoxicated at the time of the event. What do you think of this? Are you surprised? I am not. Haha.
Jeff: Yeah, I saw the story about Edelman when the story broke. I honestly don't know what to make of the story. Edelman was one of the few Patriots I didn't mind. He's never had any on the field issues, so it is a bit surprising. Then again Aaron Hernandez never had any on the field issues and we all know how that turned out. I guess it's a story worth watching over the new few days. It's certainly a strange one.
Me: The Packers-Seahawks game Sunday night didn’t end without controversy, as Green Bay was given a critical first down at the end of the game that sealed the win and a trip to the NFC Championship game for the Pack. Pete Carroll, Seahawks players and fans alike where up in arms at the spot of the catch that picked up the first down, with Jimmy Graham appearing to be well short of the first down marker. Only problem? That marker wasn’t displayed correctly on the telecast. I'll show you...
Me: The yellow marker visible by the viewers at home is not used by officials on the field as is it not an official marker, especially because in instances like this one, the line is displayed in the incorrect spot. Graham did come up short of the yellow line, right? Is this kinda thing normal, Jeff? Do you understand why Carroll was all upset?
Jeff: We've said it before, the officiating over the past few years has been nothing short of horrible and this is another example. He was clearly short. But we also have to remember it's human error. It happens in every job. But not all of the time with 40,000 people in the stadium and millions watching at home. Still a terrible call. It has happened before. It will happen again. Unfortunately.
Me: Since the end of the Patriots season following a 20-13 loss to the Tennessee Titans on wild card weekend, the talk has been about the future of Tom Brady and whether or not he’ll return to the Patriots. Brady has already announced that he’s not retiring last Thursday. Will he be back with the Patriots, however? The other question is the future of Bill Belichick, who could also leave New England. What do you think will happen, Jeff?
Jeff: Yeah, I think both Brady and Belichek will be back in New England for at least one more year. I think (and I hate to say it) they will play with more vengeance after such an embarrassing season. For most teams they wouldn't mind having a playoff appearance, but New England doesn't play for the playoffs. They play for the championship. I... uh also wouldn't be surprised if they get caught in yet another scandal as they try to win again.
Me: The funniest story of the week I think is with a high-powered offense, Arrowhead Stadium usually keeps a hefty load of celebratory touchdown fireworks on hand, but even the Chiefs weren’t prepared for what they had in store Sunday night. After being down 24-0 in the first quarter, the Chiefs put up a whopping 51 points, scoring 41 unanswered along the way. During the incredible run that featured a postseason record for touchdowns on consecutive drives, the Chiefs ran out of fireworks, having to make an announcement telling fans so in the fourth quarter. This was on the Jumbotron screen...
Me: What do you think of this and do you have a funnier story?
Jeff: When the fact that your home stadium has run out of fireworks is the worst problem you've had all week, you know you're having a good week. I don't think anyone expected the output of the Chiefs especially after falling down 24-0 to nothing. That was a Falconian collapse by the Texans. No, I certainly don't have a funnier story. That's pretty funny. Plus Antonio Clown has been silent this week.
Me: Weeelllll... The former NFL star is back in the news after police were called to his home after a domestic dispute involving him, his baby mama and his children, where Brown claimed she tried to steal his Bentley SUV while picking up the kids. Brown proceeded to verbally assault her as well as the cops as they cleared the scene. So much for being quiet.
Jeff: Oh, yeah. Even worse is the Snapchat video he made while yelling at his ex-wife and the cops with multiple N-words dropped in... like a rational human being.
Me: So, America has taken back another team from Great Britain and changed the name and logo...
Me: What do you think?
Jeff: Interesting logo, but the name just doesn't flow off the tongue too well. LOL.
Me: So, what NFL news do you have?
Jeff: The biggest news is of course coaching. The Browns jumped the moment the Vikings were eliminated from the playoffs and took Vikings Offensive Coordinator Kevin Stefanski as their 18,000th coach of the past 15 years. Or so it seems. The Panthers have also hired a new head coach as well in Matt Rhule. The problem is the Panthers owner compared him to Steeler great Chuck Noll who was in the position for over 20 years. That's a lot of pressure for a first time coach. Time will tell on that. The QB position is usually one of flash and sizzle. But the Titans have proven you can win with a running game that is matched by no one. Ryan Tannehill has won two playoff games with less than 100 yards passing in both games while Derrick Henry has rushed for over 180 yards in both.
Me: So, how did we do with last weeks picks, Jeff?
Jeff: You went 2-0 last week when I went 1-1. So you're gaining on me, it's now a six point deficit with three games to go!
Me: Yikes! Okay, let's pick again, the last picks before the Super Bowl picks. I say Chiefs by 11 and Packers by 17. Yes, I'm taking a risk. What do you say?
Jeff: I see you're picking a game that should be sponsored by State Farm insurance, since both Aaron Rodgers and Patrick Mahomes are both in State Farm commercials! I'm going to agree Kansas City makes it, but I'll play more conservatively with them winning by 7 and 49ers by 10.
Me: Okay, I will see you back here next Thursday, Jeff. Have a good week.
Jeff: See you!
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, there' a friend of the Phile who is so excited about something he wants to share. Please welcome back to the Phile...
Samual: Jason, old chap! Good to see you! Happy New Year!
Me: Samual Phancy! How are you? What's up?
Samual: You have Celine Dion here on the Phile. That's fantastic! I love her!
Me: Actually, Samual, that's Céline Dion. Her people want her named spelt that way.
Samual: That's even fancier! And she's from the French part of Canada... that's fancy as well.
Me: Not really, but we'll go with it. Haha. Anything else?
Samual: Yeah, the main reason I'm here is because I wanted to show your readers the fanciest cookies I discovered...
Samual: They're fantastic! Have you ever had them?
Me: Yeah, I love Brussels. They're delicious.
Samual: I can eat a whole bag of them, Jason.
Me: Can I have a few? I'm hungry.
Samual: A few? Like how many?
Me: Three or four, or five.
Samual: Hmmmmm... okay, if you want. But only a handful. They're hard too find in stores.
Me: Thanks, Samual.
Samual: You're so welcome. Okay, I have to go. Tell Celine... I mean Céline I said hello. See you soon.
Me: See you. Samual Phancy, the fanciest man in town, kids.
A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on her nipples and all over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while. The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it. The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said, “Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday."
The 112th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Joe will be the guest on the Phile a week from today... next Thursday.
Today's pheatured guest is a French-Canadian singer who rose to fame in the 1990s, she achieved worldwide fame after releasing several best-selling English albums, such as "Falling into You," and "Let's Talk About Love," which were both certified diamond in the U.S. Her latest album "Courage" is available on iTunes, Spotify and Amazon. Please welcome to the Phile... Céline Dion!
Me: Hello, Céline. Welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Céline: I'm doing very well. How about you?
Me: I'm doing okay.
Céline: How long have you been writing this website?
Me: Since 2006, and started doing interviews in 2008.
Céline: It took you a long time to interview me then.
Me: Yeah, I never thought I would. So, when you did your last show in Las Vegas and you walked out on that stage for the last time how did you feel?
Céline: Well, I think if I recall correctly, people thought that it was going to be very emotional for me, and that it was going to be really hard for me, but I knew what I was getting myself into probably the next day or a couple of days after that. Of course, don't get me wrong, before I turn the page, for me I stayed so long in Vegas... actually, I still live in Vegas and I raised my kids in Vegas... it will always be a home for me because that is where I still live. To make a long story short, I felt very strong. When I did the live show, even though there were a lot of butterflies going on I did not want to cry. It's easy for me to cry because I'm very emotional and passionate and I care and love what I do. And when I get embraced by the audience, I get taken by the emotions. So I said to myself, I want to have a good time, like every night, especially tonight, because it's my last show, so let's make it like a party. I have to say, I don't remember if I cried, I don't think I did. If I did not cry, I'm very proud of myself. Everything that I've done for so long there with my team, we have accomplished so much and I'm proud of that. I didn't want to just cry, I wanted to say hey, last show, I'm so happy, so many people came and I still hit the road.
Me: Your songs mean so much to your fans, do you take time during a show and look out at the audience to see what their reactions are?
Céline: That is what I do actually. Year after year, pretty much for about 20 something years, some less some more I've been singing a lot of those songs night after night. Many times in interviews they ask me aren't I'm tired singing the same songs over and over again. Sometimes. I have to admit to you it's hard.
Me: Why is that?
Céline: It's hard because I have to make this song tonight. I have to sing it like I'm singing it for the first time. Why? Because those people that are in the audience might be their favourite, I want people to sing all of their favourite songs. I can't sing all of my favourite songs most of the time my favourite songs don't make it into the charts. My favourite songs are the B-sides at the time of the records that we were selling.
Me: So, when you first start to sing on stage what do you do?
Céline: When the curtain opens, just for a fraction of a second just before I think about not "Power of Love" again I always look at the audience. That's the difference between recording in the studio and that I face engineers. Don't get me wrong, I love them, I work with them and I chose them but there's an audience. They come, they're excited, the show has not even started. They're on the edge of their seat, they cry, they laugh, they hold hands, they're standing up, they're dancing, they're getting married and I don't know when to start the show. There's a show before the show. So they're a part of our show. So when I start the show and I think I don't want to sing it I change automatically and it's like the first time every time, believe it or not. They make it happen.
Me: That's cool. Your songs are played at so many weddings, do you realize that?
Céline: It's true. My songs are played at weddings, they're lose people, they're having a hard time.
Me: Do you ever get people tell you you've changed their life?
Céline: Yes, they tell me I helped them go through tough times.
Me: I heard people propose at your shows, ever see that?
Céline: People propose at my show with long nails and my face on their nails and I think are they getting married to me. Do they know what they're about to do right now? LOL.
Me: I'm sure "My Heart Will Go On" is a big song for you to sing every night. Is it?
Céline: I realised more today than ever before that for example "Beauty and the Beast" and "My Heart Will Go On" win Oscars, and be part of classics. It was amazing then and today it's an honour. This is something that will stay, even when I'm not there anymore for my kids and people to remember that wow, mum was part of two classics in her life. I think about this now more than ever before.
Me: What made you leave the Vegas show?
Céline: I thought I was supposed to when I started to live in Las Vegas my R.C., René-Charles my first child was a year old and we started a new day. I thought I was going to be there for a little while but a little while I thought was a couple of months or a couple of weeks.
Me: Did you think playing Vegas was cool?
Céline: Yes. What was not cool was starting that is most of people, I would say the industry mainly because they're here, they're always supportive, I needed them and still do. We work as partnership. They didn't believe in it, they said the Titanic was going to sink again and Céline Dion was going to finish her career there. At one point we said listen, we're not going to please everyone, it might be a bad idea but people believe in that, they built a coliseum for that show which is called "A New Day." Do we believe in it? Let's do it and let's not listen to every individual that are thinking this is a bad idea. If it's a bad idea, we're going to stand up again, people make mistakes in life but if we don't take a chance we'll never know. We took a chance, people believed, we focused on "A New Day" and not only did we stay a few weeks or a few months or year and a half, I stayed there for five years then I did not stop overlapping a world tour on top of that and lasted about year and a half. To make a long story short they kind of wanted me again and I said, "Oh, hi. Home so soon?" I came back home so soon and I did another five years.
Me: How long all together did you play in Vegas and how many shows? Do you know?
Céline: Don't get me to do the math because I'm very, very bad. I had to stop going to school because I was on stage. That's not my job, I've been there a long, long time.
Me: I suck at math as well. Okay, let's talk about your new record called "Courage." What can you tell us about it?
Céline: That I'm very proud of it. Very excited about it. I've been part of it, before I've been part of my career and choosing my songs of course but from A to Z since René is not there I'm with my team more than ever part of their creativity whether it's for the record, some ideas, good ones, stupid ones, whatever. I'm not supposed to say "stupid" in case my kids see that, it's not a good word. So good ideas and bad ideas. So for putting this show together to sit at a table and being ideas whether they're bad or they're out there and I think I'm Rhianna or I want to dance like Britney Spears or I want to have the glow like Jennifer Lopez or whatever. All of them, or I want to have a duet with Sam Smith or Labrinth or Bruno Mars. I can go on and on and on, I'm a big fan of many artists. Being part of this creation now I'm addictive, they cannot get rid of me.
Me: That's good for everybody, right?
Céline: Good for me, bad for them. Maybe you'll ask them.
Me: So, your new album is called "Courage," the tour is called "Courage" and the single I think is called "Courage." What does the word "courage" mean to you?
Céline: Well, it means that everybody is going through things in life. I would say when something bad happens to you in life, you have to find a way to overcome these obstacles and find a way to find inner strength. To say, that's part of life, this is not something that you choose. This is something that is imposed on you by life. It's up to you to go through these obstacles, and you have the options, if you're going to need help or not, or how you're going to go through this. We all do have good moments and bad moments. And we all lose people. Saying that, losing the father of my children, my husband, my manager, the person that I loved the most in the world and the person that I can rely upon and not questioning anything since I was 12-years-old. Losing that person was a big deal for me. It reflected on a lot of people that I've been surrounded by for 20 years and more. We are still missing him tremendously, believe it or not. Through the eyes of my children, in fact that when one song came amongst many that was called "Courage" it struck pretty hard emotionally but it could've been a song that didn't mean anything. It's a good title. But it's not enough. Not only is it a good title but I don't think a song could have bene written more appropriately than this one at this time of my life, tasing charge of my inner strength, of my divisions that I have, my creativity, being spontaneous, crazy.
Me: It takes courage, right?
Céline: It takes courage because I'm a single mom and I don't want to me first my kids, my entourage and the people that I love to feel that because I have lost the man of my life that I'm going to lose the essence of what I love, my passion.
Me: So, after René passed away did you feel the you wanted to quit singing and making music?
Céline: I really believe that through all the years with René, who gave me so much, who taught me so much, who gave me so much luggage, that when he left for his new chapter, his new life, he gave me the rest of his luggage. I feel him through the eyes of my kids and inside of me. I felt very, very, very strong, probably stronger than ever before.
Me: Why is that?
Céline: Because I make decisions and I'm not scared. Before I was not part of the meeting. René was really, I don't want to say over protecting, but he was protecting me a lot. He wanted me to sing the best I can, he wanted me to just enjoy.
Me: Did you have to learn how to do that? The business side of stuff?
Céline: I'm still learning. It's a learning process.
Me: What's the hardest part of all this?
Céline: To sit and let the people talk. I feel like I have to talk for René, on behalf of René, I have to talk for me. And I talk a lot. I can't even answer my own questions and answer my questions. LOL. It's like learning the best is yet to come. And that you know what, I don't want that to sound pretentious. I am courageous.
Me: Okay. Do you think that you being courageous will help other people when they hear the song?
Céline: Not only that is what I need to do is to go on stage and sing that song to help people I will do this for the rest of my life.
Me: Okay, enough with this sad shit, my dear. are you familiar with this "Celineassance" I think they call it?
Céline: "Celineassance"? No, what is that?
Me: The younger generation getting into your music different then the older generation wasn't doing. Do you know what I mean?
Céline: Blame it on the fashion, whether there's music or clothes. Yeah, I think I'm aware of it.
Me: Céline, you're a meme, you're an Internet icon right now, do you know that? Look at this...
Céline: I don't know. Don't make me blush. I see it and I don't know if it's because, don't get me wrong I make say it sound kind of harsh, but it's weird to say that but I can not please everybody. But I don't care because I've done everything that needed to be done to have an international career. Because this is what I wanted.
Me: What made you sacrifice being in school and going on stage instead, Céline? Were you forced to, or were you trying to prove something?
Céline: I was not trying to prove to my family, my friends, the industry, myself anymore. I did that. Okay, they gave me a spot, I took it and I never wanted to have a hit, I wanted to have a career. I went to school, learnt English, tried things, and right now am I scared to fail. I don't consider failure of failing is that somethings will not work as much as other things. Some people will comment on more clothing, this is my favourite, I didn't like that, I prefer this one, I don't like that one. Like I said before I cannot please everybody. I have to assume myself.
Me: So, where are you living now?
Céline: I'm back in Canada, in Quebec.
Me: How is it living back there?
Céline: It's amazing. My kids brush their teeth so fast because I have to stop them from going outside. They have to dress and sometimes they're still in pajamas. To see my kids enjoy where I grew up, where they don't come enough, and to see their uncles and my mom, and to play outside in their bare feet and they don't burn their feet. It's not talk to what Vegas has given us all these years, but when you go outside in bare feet in Vegas, you might come back with melted toenails. Flip flips outside all night, they're melted. So in Quebec it's like the greens and the weather, and the nature, and to pick tomatoes from our little gardens. For the kids to just play badminton, and ball, and bicycle, it's like I said, these are the moments that they will never forget. Me as a mom, this is a heritage that I give them and I'm so lucky that I was born here. This is the blood that's going through my veins mixed with some maple syrup. So that's why I'm a sweet girl.
Me: Céline, thanks so much for being on the PhIle. This was a best thrill. So, in a few weeks on the Phile David Foster will be here, who you worked with on "All My Myself." What can you say about that?
Céline: David and I had taken a whole day with the piano on a speakerphone to choose the key. I arrived in L.A. and he says, "You're gonna freak out. I'm so happy about my production. I'm going to play you the track. Let's do this. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be big." I mean, with David, everything's going to be big, you know? He never does anything small obviously So it was amazing, but then I said, "David, is that the final key?" I think it was like a key and a half higher, and I'm like, okay, why did we spend a whole day on the key that works and now I'm over here? I think everything exploded, my pants, my bra, my shirt. When I hit that note, what you hear in the back is not the drums, it's my clothes that exploded. People stop breathing when I hit that note.
Me: Hahaha. Céline, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again. Take care.
Céline: Thank you so much, love you. Bye.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz and of course Céline Dion. The Phile will be back on Tuesday with musicians Reese Wyans and Tommy Shannon. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Man, these Brussels are delicious.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon