Sunday, January 22, 2017

Pheaturing Phile Alum Chas Hodges From Chas & Dave

Obama, you're out. Trump urine. Hahaha. I have been waiting to say that line all week. Hey there, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. Congratulations on lasting this long into the Trump administration. Man, we have a lot to talk about... A group of Canadians were denied entry into the U.S. on Thursday after disclosing that their reason for visiting was to attend the Women's March on Washington in the nation's capital, "The Guardian" reports. When the group, which included six Canadians and two French nationals, got to the land crossing border in Quebec they were upfront about their plans with the border patrol. "We said we were going to the women’s march on Saturday and they said, 'Well, you’re going to have to pull over'," Montrealer Sasha Dyck told "The Guardian." In the two-hour ordeal that followed, the group was fingerprinted and photographed, as well as had their cell phones and cars searched. After the search, the border patrol denied entry to the two French citizens, and told them that they would need a visa for all future entry to the U.S. The rest of the group, who were all Canadian citizens, were also denied entry and told that if they tried to cross the border again this weekend, they would be arrested. They weren't given any justification or explanation. The experience was a sharp contrast to what Dyck previously experienced when he crossed the border for Obama's inauguration in 2009. "I couldn’t even get in for this one, whereas at the other one, the guy at the border literally gave me a high five when I came in and everybody was just like, 'welcome'," he said. Dyck's group was not the only ones to be turned away at the border on Thursday and subject to questions of political affiliation. Montreal resident Joseph Decunha, who was traveling with two Americans, said they were also straightforward at the border and told them of their plans to attend the inauguration and the women's march. They were then taken for secondary processing. "The first thing he asked us point blank is, 'Are you anti- or pro-Trump?'" Decunha told the CBC. Decunha was denied entry to the U.S. and said that he felt that "if we had been pro-Trump, we would have absolutely been allowed entry." While it makes sense that during this transitional period the border patrol would be practicing extra high security, the fact that they asked the political affiliation of each group feels like only the beginning of a future in which anyone who isn't "pro-Trump" will be denied access to their rights as citizens. And so it begins.
The White House said Trump's inauguration crowd was the biggest in history. It wasn't. In case you were wondering how President Trump's White House Press secretary would handle embarrassments like, say, a general lack of anyone willing to be seen with this administration: Basically he's just gonna lie. In a Saturday briefing, Sean Spicer whined at the media for nearly six minutes about how they were big mean liars for saying that only 250,000 people had attended Trump's inaugural ceremony in Washington, D.C., on Friday, as compared to the 1.8 million for Obama in 2009 and 1 million in 2013. (Trump's own ridiculous estimate was that 1.5 million turned up.) Spicer claimed that pictures were taken from angles that made the crowd look smaller. Remember? This crowd?

Even if the estimated numbers are a little off, it's hilariously clear that Trump's audience was dwarfed by both of Obama's and the #WomensMarch yesterday. Yet Spicer had to go even further and claim that what we saw on Friday "was the largest audience ever to witness an inauguration, period." LOL, no it wasn't. Not even close, dude. Dang, you are... not good at this. Oof. I'd say to walk it off, because the job will only get easier... but we both know that's not true, either. Have fun for the six weeks it takes you to get fired!
President Trump has some vocal critics down under. Way down under. Friday's pitiful Inauguration Day crowds were easily overshadowed on Saturday by hundreds of thousands of women who poured into the streets across the nation and more than 60 other countries for a worldwide #WomensMarch, protesting the pussy-grabber-in-chief. Marchers made their voices heard in signs as sassy as they were savage, and organizers said that turnout in some cities was double or triple what they'd expected. But what really surprised was the news that about 30 people would be protesting in Paradise Bay, a part of Antarctica usually only populated by penguins. Linda Zunas of Oakland, California, organized the demonstration, which had to be short so that participants... who bore signs in support of peace and climate science... did not overly impact the sensitive ecosystem. Look a this cute sign...

When even the penguins are against you, it may be time to admit that politics isn't your strong suit. Haha. I love penguins.
On Inauguration Davy, the BBC inadvertently offered some levity when it accidentally aired the wrong subtitles during its broadcast of Trump's inauguration.The mix-up was brought to the Internet's attention by Kayleigh Smirk, a 25-year-old from Southampton in the U.K., who was watching the broadcast on mute with captions.

I have to say, those subtitles make the inauguration infinitely more hilarious. Buzzfeed has confirmed that instead of coming from the inauguration, the captions were actually dialogue from the CBBC show "The Dumping Ground." Kayleigh's tweet quickly went viral. So far it has over 7,800 likes and has been retweeted over 6,700 times. She told Buzzfeed she was "gobsmacked" that it spread as quickly as it did. "The reaction has been insane, my notifications have pretty much melted at this point," she said. "But I’m really glad it seems to have cheered people up regardless!"At least she has a new claim to fame now.
Let's talk about something different for a sec... Comedian Scott Rogowsky has gone viral more than once with his "Fake Books on the Subway" videos. In these hidden camera gems, Rogowsky rides the New York City Subway while pretending to read oversized books with totally inappropriate titles, like "Ass Eating Made Simple," or "Mein Kampf for Kids." Then he records the incredulous reactions of New Yorkers as they stare at him. It's a lot of fun. In his latest installment, Rogowsky has taken a political spin on his previous idea, producing a bunch of totally weird fake books by President-elect Donald Trump and a bunch of his closest advisers. And just to hammer his point home, he's donating all proceeds from this video to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood. I'm glad to say that Scott is gonna be the pheatured guest on the Phile tomorrow. I have to show you a pic of him with one of his new books...

So, a lot of people showed what they thought of Trump being president in their own way. Like this woman...

And this one...

And these llamas. Llamas?

That guy has a bullhorn, a Go-Pro and two llamas. Alright then. Yesterday as you probably know
in Washington, D.C., and around the globe, women came together by the tens of thousands to protest the inauguration of a U.S. president who has openly objectified and bragged about sexually assaulting them. I think this woman had enough of this shit...

But this one shows what a monster Trump really is...

Hahaha. I like her... she's cute and she has a sense of humor. So, I talked about the BBC airing the wrong subtitles during Trump's inauguration. I have to show you this pic of that broadcast and the subtitle which really made me laugh...

Hahahaha. So, there's a lot of Trump doppelgängers out there. Like this Pokémon character...

Yellow hair? Check. Lapel-like chest fur? Check. Tiny claws for hands? Check. Meet Gumshoos, a new Pokémon character. Man, I wanna catch that one on "Pokémon Go." Yes, I still play. By the way, a lot of people think Pokémon is a Japanese creation, but they really come from Britain. Here's proof...

Shit Pouch. What a great name. So, when I saw this...

I thought where did I see that look before. And then it hit me...

Let the Hunger Games begin. Thank you, you're welcome. Alright, now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Reasons Ringling Bros. Went Out Of Business
5. The magic of the circus was ruined for children when elephant carcasses had to be disposed of mid-show.
4. The trapeze artists were not longer willing to risk their lives traveling from city to city on Amtrak.
3. Unicyclists have somewhat waned in popularity since the autumn of 1926.
2. They just couldn't keep up with the skyrocketing cost of red rubber noses.
And the number one reason Ringling Bros. went out of business is...
1. Americans have come to prefer more extravagant productions, like Cirque Du Soliel, UniverSoul Circus, and the Trump Transition.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. It's kinda tricky. Alright, so, now Trump is president, I am curious to hear what a good friend of the Phile thinks about it. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

Good morning, humans... Happy Sunday, phuckerz! So... here we are... Like it or not... He's "the man." I say, let's all lock arms (left, right & center) and make sure this nation's 45th prez doesn't fuck this up. Even if you have no respect for the man sitting in the chair... have some respect for the office. After all... that's what we're supposed to do. It's the right thing to do. We criticize, we critique, we poke fun at, we even curse them at times... But, we respect the office of The President of The United States of America. Even THIS guy deserves his first 100 days in office before we start chasing him with torches and pitchforks.

The 35th artist to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallery is Thom Solo and this is one of his pieces...

Hahaha. Thom will be the pheatured guest a week from today.

The 56th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

The author and the guy who put it together and Phile Alum Gary Gerani will be the guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

I love this... today's guest is a Phile Alum and an English musician and singer, probably best known for being one half, and lead vocalist, of the English musical duo, Chas & Dave whose new live album "Not Just Anuvver Beano" is available on Amazon. Please welcome back to the Phile, one of my favorite guests ever... Chas Hodges!

Me: Hello, sir, welcome back to the Phile. How have you been?

Chas: Just great.

Me: I have to say, you are one of my favorite guests I ever had on the Phile, and glad you are back. This is your 42nd year of Chas n Dave, am I right?

Chas: Actually 44th. We got together around January 1974.

Me: All those years ago if someone would of asked you if you would still be making records and playing in 2017 would you believed it?

Chas: Yes. A big reason we got together was we were fed up being in bands that kept splitting up. We had been mates for a good eight years before we got together. The best surprise is that we are playing better than ever.

Me: Before you and Dave formed the duo you worked with Joe Meeks... legendary producer. How did you start to work with or for him, Chas?

Chas: Made my first professional recordings as a bass player at Joe Meeks in 1961. We auditioned and passed as a backing band for Mike Berry.

Me: Ever hear the Graham Parker song "Just Like Joe Meeks Blues?" It was through that song in '92 I started to learn who Meeks was. Did you like working with him?

Chas: Never heard this song. Joe Meek could be a bit volatile but I learnt a lot from him.

Me: By the way, did you ever meet Graham? It would be so cool if you and he made a record together. Just sating. Haha.

Chas: Never met Graham Parker. Tell me more about him.

Me: He's a fantastic songwriter, and has been putting out albums since 1976. And I got to interview him on the Phile a few times. Google him, Chas. You used to back up Jerry Lee Lewis which kinda amazes me. Jerry Lee of course is an fantastic piano player, so was it odd being the second piano player on stage?

Chas: I had only just started to learn piano when I toured as Jerry Lee's bass player in 1963. I learned a lot about piano by just watching him every night.

Me: Ahhh... I thought you played piano with him. Was he easy to work with?

Chas: He was great to me.

Me: When was the last time you saw him?

Chas: Last year in Glasgow.

Me: Okay, I recently saw on YouTube the Heathrow commercial with the two bears and your song "I'm Going Back." What a fantastic commercial! It really made me smile.I was surprised Heathrow airport had a commercial. The campaign was to get people to come to England or to travel?

Chas: Yes, I guess so.

Me: When they approached you guys to use the song what did you think?

Chas: It was a nice surprise. We recorded it some 35-years ago.

Me: Because of the success of the commercial you guys released the song again as a single. I love the single cover with the bears...

Me: Brilliant idea. That never do that kinda thing in the states. Was it yours and Dave's idea to re-release the song again?

Chas: Our first hit, "Gertcha" in 1979, was prompted by a beer advert. So yes, me & Dave were behind releasing "I'm Going Back' as a single.

Me: Correct me if I am wrong, but it originally came out in the 80s, am I right?

Chas: Yes. On an album called "Well Pleased."

Me: I recently purchased the new live album "Not Just Anuvver Beano." I know the meaning of the title but I am betting not many of my readers do. Can you explain in? Translate it to these Americans? Haha.

Chas: A "Beano" was a "Jolly Boys" day out years ago. Means you are in for a good time.

Me: Where did the name come from?

Chas: Don't know.

Me: The show on the CD was recorded in London, am I right?

Chas: Yes, at the Hammersmith Apollo. The old Hammersmith Odeon.

Me: Do you still get a big joy playing shows, Chas?

Chas: Very much so.

Me: What's the biggest show and our favorite show you have ever done?

Chas: Latest one that comes to mind is selling out the Albert Hall a couple of years back.

Me: You have out out so many great songs over the years... what's your five top Chas & Dave songs?

Chas: Okay, it's hard, but here it is off the top of my head... "Ain't No Pleasing You," "Sideboard Song," "When Days Were Long," "Bored Stiff," "Rabbit."

Me: Do you have a favorite album?

Chas: "Jamboree Bag No. 3" if I'm in a party mood or "Well Pleased" for a good studio album.

Me: Congrats on playing the VE Day 70 concert. What was that experience like?

Chas: We felt we livened it up.

Me: Unfortunately over here the anniversary and the concert didn't receive any press. Are you surprised about that?

Chas: Yes, I suppose so as both countries felt great when it was all over.

Me: I have to ask, what do you think of Mr. Trump being president? Have you heard of him prior to him running? I'm curious to see if he is really known over there. I grew up on Long Island but originally from London, and growing up in New York Trump was always in the news. Living back in England in the 80s I never heard his name once.

Chas: He was heard of but nobody but NOBODY would have predicted him becoming president.

Me: Do you think you and Dave will ever come back to the states to do shows?

Dave: Yes. Fix up some gigs & we'll be over.

Me: I should see what I can do. I have to say, I love your column for the "Daily Express"... Rock n Roll Allotment. That's another word you don't hear over here too much... allotment. How did you start to write the column, Chas?

Chas: I wrote a book called "Chas & his Rock'n'roll Allotment." The newspaper got in touch with me.

Me: Do you enjoy writing it?

Chas: Yes. I do an on-line column at the moment which will resume in March. I am looking for another paper or magazine to take it up.

Me: You're a witty writer... have you ever thought about writing a book about your life?

Chas: I have. My autobiography plus Chas & Dave story. I'll send you a copy if you'll send an address.

Me: Deal. "Rock n Roll Alltotment" was filmed as a TV show. Do you still do that show?

Chas: It was only filmed as a pilot. Has not gone on air in general as yet.

Me: Okay, so, what is your plan for this year? Another studio album?

Chas: Possibly. I've got plenty of unrecorded songs. Looking forward to some nice festivals too.

Me: Chas, thanks so much for being back on the Phile. Tell Dave hi for me. I hope you'll come back again soon. All the best.

Chas:  Thank you, Jay.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course the great Chas Hodges. The Phile will be back tomorrow with comedian Scott Rogowsky. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

Monday, January 16, 2017

Pheaturing Matt Carlson From Wild Domestic

Hey there, good afternoon, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. Not just a regular Monday... it's Martin Luther King Day. We must not judge people by the color of their skin but by their annoying personalities. Here's to MLK for being the only person in history to be interstesting when talking about a dream. This MLK Day, I plan to demonstrate non-violence through napping. After I'm done with this entry of course. So let's get on with it.
As Laird said yesterday, that's all folks. After 146 years of shows, the Ringling Bros. circus will have it's final performance of the "Greatest Show On Earth" this May. The news comes after years of declining ticket sales and protest of the treatment of elephants, CNN reports. The circus had become unsustainable to maintain, according to Kenneth Feld, CEO of Feld Entertainment, which has owned the circus for the past 50 years. Ticket sales were already down, and with "the transition of the elephants off the road, we saw an even more dramatic drop," he said in a press release about the decision. Well, I for one won't pretend to be sad. Circuses are one of those bad things we used to do, that we all finally managed to get on the same page about. Now, we all agree: this is bad and we should not do this anymore. Don't get me wrong, we will surely move onto enjoying something else that's mostly unethical, but we just won't realize it until much later. Are people sad about the circus shutting down? Not really. Then there's this ad for the circus...

I can think of nothing better to usher Donald Trump into the presidency and the American people into their worst nightmares turned reality, than the music of 3 Doors Down, whose single "Kryptonite" is like a fever dream that jolts me back to the year 2000, when my brain was a horrible encyclopedia for pop lyrics. Still, they refuse to exit my recallable memory; I hear the aggressive chorus, "if I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?" thrumming through my head at the thought of the "alt rock" group. While the public didn't managed to guess that the band would be among the few musical acts, along with Toby Keith, to play the inauguration, in hindsight it makes perfect, awful sense. It's embarrassing that the inauguration committee had to dredge up a band that no one has thought about in at least a decade to perform. Toby Keith... 3 Doors Down... Jackie Evancho. We're a Ferris Wheel and a few funnel cakes shy of a State Fair. You can't see that line up unless you go to a Just Tires opening.
The one thing that drives Donald Trump completely batshit (besides Hillary Clinton's emails) is not being popular. He lost the popular vote by the largest margin ever, he can't get anyone to play his upcoming inauguration, the "dress stores" in D.C. are not sold out, and now it comes out that there are hundreds more requests for bus parking permits for the Women's March scheduled for the day after Donald Trump's inauguration than there are for the inauguration itself. According to Fox News, the District Department of Transportation has received 393 bus permit applications to park at RFK Stadium on January 20th. Meanwhile, the company handling permit requests for the Women's March, Events, D.C., has received 1,200 RFK (which has a capacity of 1,300) permit requests for the following day. It's pretty clear who the "loser" is in this situation.
Searches for "golden showers" on Pornhub have more than doubled in the past 72 hours, the site reports. AND everyone in my news feed is making pee jokes. Did I miss something??? Just kidding of course. Everyone including your parents knows by now that Buzzfeed published an "unsubstantiated report" a few days ago that claimed, among many things, that our President-elect once paid Russian prostitutes to pee in front of him at a hotel where the Obamas had recently stayed. ICYMI, for the past few days, it has been raining pee jokes and memes all over the Internet. So it's no surprise that Pornhub has reported searches for the phrase "golden showers" are up 102%, and searches for other pee-related terms (like "pissing" and "watersports") have increased by 71%. Trump has vehemently denied the claims and trashed the news sites that published them, calling them "fake news." So we can't say if he did or did not pay anyone to pee in front of him. But it wouldn't be that surprising, now would it? According to Pornhub user data, pee porn is most often searched for by men over 65. And men are far more likely to pee into it, I mean be into it, than women. And where in the country are people most likely to be into water sports, you didn't ask? I'll tell you anyway: the top "honors" go to Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine in that order. Oh, those freaky New Englanders! Maybe New Hampshire should change it's slogan to "Live, Pee or Die."
The Scottish newspaper "Sunday Herald" published perhaps the most accurate description of the upcoming clown show that is the inauguration in their print TV Guide on Sunday morning, Variety reports. "After a long absence, 'The Twilight Zone' returns with one of the most ambitious, expensive, and controversial productions in broadcast history," it opens. And it only gets crueler (and funnier) from there. "Sci-fi writers have dabbled often with alternative history stories — among the most common is the ‘What If The Nazis Had Won The Second World War’ setting — but this huge interactive virtual reality project, which will unfold on TV, in the press, and on Twitter over the next four years, sets out to build an ongoing alternative present." Yikes. We are officially living in an alternate reality fit for a sci-fi show. The tune-in blurb goes on to explain the reboot of the classic TV show "The Twilight Zone" by describing the setting as a "nightmarish version of 2017 in which huge sections of the U.S. electorate have somehow been duped into voting to make Donald Trump president." Crazy to think that this is real life! Sadly, the inauguration and the next four years, while they might feel like a fever dream, are real life. And already the inauguration is shaping up to be a sad affair, full of dredged up C-list acts who have all been scorned for agreeing to perform, from early aughts alt-rock band 3 Doors Down, to the few Rockettes who needed the cash, apparently. But of course, Trump will continue to be as delusional as possible about his reception, so help him God.

Have fun!
I mentioned it's MLK Day as you know... well, there's some odd observances of this day out there. Like this one...

Ride the righteous waves of equality. I love this new poster Trump just released of himself...

He put the "p" in president. Hahaha. Do you know they are re-making From Russia With Love?

Okay, enough with the pee jokes... for now. Do you kids like graphs? Well, here's one for you...

Hahaha. Did you know Trump Tower has two entrances to the building? No? Check it out...

So, Trump calls CNN fake news... and he might have a point. Check out this ad for the news network...

Hmmmm. By the way, I think this church hit the nail on the head...

So, Odell Beckham Jr, was watching the Packers/Cowboys game last night from his couch and he dropped the remote four times.

See? Poor Odell. I still think he's great. I mentioned in yesterdays entry the new L.A. Chargers are getting slack for their new logo. I have no idea why...

I think it's pretty good. Hey, this just in on CNN...

Hmmm. I don't understand. So, there's a lot of Trump doppelgängers like potato sprouting roots...

You say potato, I say... Donald Trump? Hahaha. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, here is...

Top Phive Other, Wild Unsubstantiated Claims About Donald Trump
5. Trump once politely held open the door for a woman who he didn't think was a "10."
4. He once apologized for something he said when it was proven to be wrong.
3. He personally made sure that all the independent contractors who worked on his campaign have been paid in full.
2. One of his closet and dearest friends is hector Arroyo Gonzalez of Tijuana, Mexico.
And the number one other wild, unsubstantiated claim about Trump is...
1. He plans to continue the tradition of pardoning the White House Thanksgiving Turkeys.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Alright, it was a crazy weekend of football, and I need to talk about it with my good friend Jeff.

Me: Jeff, welcome to the Phile again. How are you?

Jeff: Hey, Jason. I've been better, I've been worse. I'll survive. How are you?

Me: I'm hanging in there. Okay, we have to talk about the biggest football news in the past week... the Chargers moving to Los Angeles. L.A. is now home to the two teams who gave the Browns and 49ers their only owns this season. Are you surprised it happened so quick?

Jeff: I don't know that it really happened that fast. There was talk of it last off season too. The owner Dean Spanos just figured he had more of a chance to make money in L.A. than he does in San Fran, so yeah. He's moving his team. That is a weird coincidence I will tell you that much!

Me: And what do you think of the whole logo controversy?

Jeff: I can understand the issues with the logo. It is kind of lazy. It just combines the Dodgers and the Tampa Bay Lightning logo. To the point that the Lightning Twitter made a joke that they and the Dodgers "are just friends."

Me: Man, I cannot believe the Falcons beat the Seahawks. That's a big upset, wasn't it? Seahawks fans haven't been this upset since their Carolina Panthers went 6-10 in the regular season.

Jeff: I wouldn't call the Falcons win an upset. The Falcons did have a better record than Seattle. The only thing that makes it an upset is that Seattle has been there before. We're to the point in the NFL schedule that we're used to the Falcons choking. But they didn't do that on Saturday. Hahaha, yeah it's true about the Panthers.

Me: Did you see this Cowboys fan who showed up to the game with a backup cheesehead hat just in case the Packers beat Dallas?

Jeff: Well, you gotta be prepared. That bandwagon fan clearly was!

Me: I thought this was funny... after clinching the spot, the Falcons' Facebook account posted an event to attend the Falcons vs Packers NFC Championship 20 hours before the game even kicked off yesterday in Dallas. Here's proof...

Me: Do you think they had a feeling Green Bay would win?

Jeff: I'm sure it was more of wishful thinking on Atlanta's part. If Dallas had won, Atlanta would have had to travel to Dallas. But since they are the higher ranked team the NFC championship game is now in Atlanta. And I was unaware this is the last year they are playing in their current stadium, they'll be getting a new one next year. So they get to end it in style!

Me: I mentioned in the monologue damn Beckham kept dropping the TV remote while he watches the Cowboys/Packers game from his couch. Don't you think the Giants still should be playing?

Jeff: No. The Packers beat them. And they beat them quite soundly. Maybe your receivers shouldn't have gone to Miami. I mean look how good Miami played in the Wild Card and they live there! HAHAHAHA. Stop it. Your team lost. But hey, at least Dallas lost too? That's got to help you when you remember your team lost. And Washington didn't make the playoffs but you still picked them in the Wild Card Round. I'm not letting that go.

Me: Ugh. Hahaha. I don't blame you. Okay, what other news in the NFL is there?

Jeff: Four of the five coaching vacancies have been filled. That's news within it self, but all the new coaches are just that. They have never been a full team head coach in the NFL before. They're all coordinators getting a big chance now. The Rams are the ones taking the biggest chance. Their new coach is 30 years old. The Rams are such a young team though that he's only older than one member of his team. The only team without a head coach right now is the 49ers.

Me: Alright, so, how did we do last week, Jeff? There's no way I can win this season, right?

Jeff: The only chance you have to win is if we put a ridiculous bet on that Super Bowl. You went 1-1 this weekend. And earned no points since the Giants were eliminated last week. I however went 2-0 with a Steeler win. So my lead grew to 10 points now. Regardless I think this might be the first year we both had more wins than losses. You are 21-17 and I went 25-13.

Me: Congrats on your Steelers win. Okay, two games next week... let's pick 'em. I say Green Bay by 2 even though I kinda want the Falcons to win. And Patriots by 7. What do you pick?

Jeff: Thank you! Thank you! You realize every time you pick against Pittsburgh they win, right? I'm going Falcons by 3 and Steelers by 3 as well.

Me: I do realize that. It might be a Steelers Super Bowl. Okay, my friend, I'll see you back here next Monday. Good luck.

Jeff: I will see you next week to discuss Super Bowl LI. Or 51. LI looks dumb.

Me: I agree. Have a good week. Okay, kids, let's play a little game called...

So, what is it? Hahahahaha. Oh, man.

Pornhub is a video sharing website specializing in 2-3 minute clips of what you should try and remember is someone's little girl.

The 35th artist to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallery is Thom Solo and this is one of his pieces...

Thom will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

Today's pheatured guest is a very talented musician from North Carolina whose new single "Author" is on iTunes now under the name Wild Domestic. Please welcome to the Phile... Matt Carlson.

Me: Hey there, Matt, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Matt: I am excellent, thanks for asking and hope your are good too!

Me: Thanks. So, should I call you Wild or Matt?

Matt: Anything but “Shirley” is okay with me... bad Airplane reference? Matt is cool.

Me: No, good Airplane reference. Well done. Where did the name Wild Domestic come from? What does that mean anyway?

Matt: I like an oxymoron and the words wild/domestic had been rolling around in my head for a while before I started the band. I feel like we are all wild creatures, wearing a costume of domestic ordinary life.

Me: What's with the publicity photo of you sitting up in a bed outside? Hahaha. You don't really sleep outside, do you?

Matt: Kind of the same thing with the name actually, I love pairing drastically different conflicting ideas or feelings or looks together. I don’t know how much into the wild I really am, because when my photographer friend, Eli (shout out to Pharaohtography) was taking the pictures, I was getting eaten by bugs. I like my creature comforts so I don’t sleep outside unless by mistake!

Me: You are based in North Carolina, right? What part?

Matt: I live in Charlotte, which sits right near the North Carolina/South Carolina line.

Me: Ever been to Myrtle Beach? That's one place I'll never go again. Long story...

Matt: Haha, if you had said that to younger Matt, he would have been very upset. I’ve been to Myrtle Beach quite a few times! It’s a real honky-tonk kind of place nowadays. As a kid my family would vacation up at Sunset Beach, North Carolina and we would go to Myrtle Beach at night to for the amusement parks. I haven’t been in quite a few years.

Me: You weren't born in the U.S. though, right? Where were you born?

Matt: I was born in Paraguay, South America and adopted by my parents and brought to my home in Charlotte when I was six months old.

Me: Ever go back to Paraguay to visit?

Matt: I have not yet, but will at some point.

Me: How long have you been in the states?

Matt: I was adopted from Paraguay when I was 6 months old, so I’ve been in the states all my life!... minus 6 months.

Me: You started to learn different instruments at a young age... how old were you?

Matt: I think I started when I was like six years old. I liked singing and started camps and classes at the Children’s Theatre of Charlotte. Then as I got older I started some music lessons and attended an arts high school with emphasis on music and theatre.

Me: What was the first instrument you learned to play?

Matt: The piano, and I still play!

Me: So, what instruments do you play?

Matt: Guitar, bass, drums, piano and variations of those to a lesser extent.

Me: What was the hardest one to learn?

Matt: Banjo, and I’m really not great at it, it’s kind of the newest. I wanted a challenge, and man did I find it. I didn’t keep up with it.

Me: So, what bands did you grow up listening to, Matt?

Matt: When I was a kid, my parents, especially by dad had classic rock playing a lot. He said “In A Gadda Da Vida” was a lullaby, haha! I remember riding in the car listening to anything from Michael Jackson to Pink Floyd’s "The Wall." As I got a little bit older and into the teen and middle school years, I discovered pop punk and alternative rock. That bit me and luckily I never recovered. I like so much music that I can’t even narrow it down... everyone from early My Chemical Romance to David Byrne to Buddy Holly, Arcade Fire. I love Bowie.

Me: Let's talk about your new single "Author." What is this song about?

Matt: The song is kind of a chapter in what is going to be the full EP. It’s my first stab at writing something with a through line. “Author” is about the point in a break up where paranoia sets in. When you start second guessing every little thing that happened, and asking yourself what you did wrong, how could you have saved it, etc.

Me: I can relate... It's very cool, and you're a pretty good songwriter. Have you been writing songs for a long time?

Matt: The first song I think I wrote was in 6th grade. The only difference is that back then I wanted to be a typical 6th grade funny goofball all the time. I think it was (at least what I called it) a comedy song that was probably seriously not funny.

Me: This is not your first release, though, is it? You had an EP out called "Wild Domestic." When did that come out?

Matt: The self-titled came out in March of 2015.

Me: Has your music changed a lot since then?

Matt: I’d like to think so. I have a lot of music in me and I can feel small changes. I know I have a lot of growing to do musically. I get impatient but the older I get the more I think I have a story to tell and hope I get the chance to tell it. I also think I put on a good show. I have some confidence in my ability to entertain the audience.

Me: You are coming out with a new EP called "Singular." How did that EP get to be titled that?

Matt: It’s a descriptive title about a character on the way to get their stuff back from their ex. Leaving them… wait for it… Singular… haha. It also fits a little of how I feel about myself and Wild Domestic. I enjoy people but still am always a bit singular. 

Me: Is it gonna rock like "Author" does?

Matt: That’s the plan, let’s hope it does! People have said my sound is wide-ranging, not narrow. "Singular" may be like that but to me it’s a natural progression and I just write what I feel based on where I am.

Me: So, I have to ask you about this... you did some acting in the past? What type of acting did you do?

Matt: I actually started with acting, I mainly did musicals, but I have a few commercial and film credits!

Me: Any commercials I might have seen? I did a Sheetz commercial where I was a “Time Jumper” and NASCAR punk kid blip on the screen. I had a small role in a video release movie Trinity Goodheart.

Me: I have a screenshot from the Sheetz commercial, Matt.

Me: Lucky man. I like Wawa a lot better. Haha. Do you still do some acting?

Matt: When I have the time, I love doing musicals and plays! I just played the Christian Slater character in the musical adaptation of the 80s cult hit, Heathers. Before that I had roles in “Hedwig and the Angry Inch," “Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson” and “The Phantom of the Opera.”

Me: Cool. Are you gonna make a video for "Author"?

Matt: I hope to make one. Of course, funding is the constant challenge with all music efforts.

Me: By the way, do you have a favorite author?

Matt: I like Edgar Allen Poe, as well as Steven Chbosky and Lemony Snicket.

Me: Matt, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Wanna plug your website or anything?

Matt: Sure! This has been cool. Thanks for much for the interview! My website is! Buy “Author” now on iTunes and other outlets. Look for "Singular" this month and come to Charlotte for upcoming shows!

Me: Take care, continued success and please come back when the EP comes out. I hope this was fun. 

Matt: Thank you so much! I’d love to!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz and Matt Carlson. The Phile will be back next Sunday with Phile Alum Chas Hodges from Chas & Dave. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker