Hello, and welcome to another Sunday edition of the Peverett Phile. Star Wars weekends is going well. The last three days I was with Jake Lloyd who played Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode One The Phantom Menace. That kid (who is now 17) is one of the most down to earth famous people I know. He is from the opposite end of the spectrum from Peter 'Arsehole' Mayhew. Taylor Hicks is the new "American Idol”. Now to me he looks like one of those guys busted on "Dateline”. Al Gore has come out with a new movie on the environment and global warming. President Bush has seen it and was annoyed. In fact today Dick Cheney shot a projectionist. There was one dramatic moment in the movie when a glacier melts and they find more Gore ballots from the election. Last Wednesday Mexico President Vicente Fox arrived in the U.S. It’s official he’s the last one. Turn off the lights. They are all here now…don’t let the door hit you in the ass. Well that’s how it always starts. Four days, then three weeks, then four months. The Senate has passed a resolution to make English the official language of the United States. In fact today, President Bush said, "It’s the goodest news he’s heard in a long time.” According to a poll, 84% of Americans approve of making English the official language. I would be happy if we would just make English the office language of 7-11. Egypt says they are going to excavate what appears to be a 2000 year old roman city submerged in the Mediterranean. It’s been under water for over 2000 years and they are now going to dig it up. You know, FEMA was slow. Scientists said they have confirmed that some of Christopher Columbus’ remains were buried inside a Spanish cathedral. The rest of his remains they think are buried somewhere on a farm in Michigan. How is this for amazing? A seven year old boy named Braxton Bilbrey has become the youngest person ever to swim from Alcatraz Island to San Francisco. He broke the old record set by Elian Gonzalez. Here’s a shocking statistic, 1 in 136 Americans are currently behind bars. A more shocking statistic, 1 in 3 Kennedy’s are currently in a bar. Catholics still continuing to protest over the movie The Da Vinci Code. In fact, some priests are so angry they are refusing to take their alter boys to see it. How many have seen The Da Vinci Code? Or as the atheist call it Roots. Congratulations to Barry Bonds who got his 714th asterisk, whatever that means. Scientists say they can know teach birds grammar. And if this works they’re going to next do the same thing with President Bush. Hillary Clinton says that in her spare time she likes to download iTunes. We all know that in his spare time Bill likes to download interns. A realtor in Ogden, Utah inspecting a townhouse found 70,000 empty beer cans left behind by the former tenant. I didn’t know the Kennedy’s had a place in Utah.
DOCTOR WHO NEWS
Once they win Survivor, some people just can’t stop lying. Richard Hatch is in prison after being convicted of lying, and now Survivor Vanuatu winner Chris Daughtery may lose his job as an Ohio highway worker for lying to his supervisors about a show-related trip he took. Chris, who lied his way to victory on the show, “was [found] guilty of taking the unauthorized leave and of dishonesty for falsely claiming that he needed time off work because he was under stress and suffering from depression” by the Ohio Department of Transportation, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Chris was “denied a leave because he had used all but 29 hours of his vacation, sick leave and personal leave, [and then] Daugherty submitted a bogus excuse from a doctor in London, Ohio, that said he needed to take off a month because he was suffering from anxiety and depression.” Then he went to Germany and Italy for two weeks as part of a Survivor-related tour, for which he received $8,000. He told investigators he went “because my doctor thought it’d be good for me to relax and get away. It was recommended.”But the chief Ohio DOT investigator says “Daugherty’s claim that he had an illness which just happened’ to coincide with his Survivor’ tour is simply not credible.” The paper notes that Chris “was obligated to attend [the trip] under a contractual agreement with CBS.” However, it doesn’t say why he still had a $34,000 a year job “patching potholes, mowing and picking up litter” after winning $1 million.
robot chicken-real world-metropolis A take on the Real World with superheroes from Robot Chicken.
The answer to last week's sex toy or baby toy: sex toy. the snake was a vibrator. Now, what is this?
The X-Files 2: Depending on which theory you believe, this long-lost sequel is either tangled up in lawsuits or coming to theaters next year. The truth is probably out there, but does anybody still care?
My Sexiest Year: Sure, global warming and never-ending Middle Eastern turmoil are signs that something is seriously screwed up here on planet Earth, but the real harbinger of the apocalypse is the green-lighting of another Frankie Muniz sex comedy. That's two in as many weeks. If there's a third, I'm heading for the bomb shelter. Oh, and in case you were wondering, my sexiest year was 1997.
Flushed Away: The trailer's going right down the crapper. And I mean that in the best possible way.
Last Monday Logan and I saw Over The Hedge. Voices of Bruce Willis, Garry Shandling, Steve Carell, Wanda Sykes, William Shatner, Nick Nolte, Thomas Haden Church, Allison Janney. A shifty raccoon enlists the help of forest creatures to steal food from a wasteful suburban McMansion development to stave off an angry bear. Kids will love it. Grown-ups will play Guess the Celebrity Voice and then forget they ever saw it. It's Madagascar in the suburbs. And if you've seen Madagascar or The Wild or Ice Age or Shark Tale or Chicken Little or [Insert any other cute animated animal movie here], then you will note that Over the Hedge is a little better than any of the ones on that list. But better doesn't mean great. It's funny enough and pointed enough (it wants to be satirical; more on that in a second), but not enough of either to make you forget Thumper. Or Flower. Or even Stitch. Close to the end — and this doesn't really count as a spoiler — there's a scene in which the hyperactive squirrel (the most endearing and well-designed character in the movie) drinks a caffeinated energy drink. I won't divulge any more details, but it kind of makes the whole 85 minutes worthwhile. Hey, Hollywood, serious about cutting budgets in these lean times? Why are you shelling out for these famous voices when kids don't care and all it does for adults is cause internal dissonance. You're like, "Oh, that's William Shatner. And that's Garry Shandling as the turtle." It's pointless. So, this movie is poking pointed fun at suburban waste, excess and consumerism, right? Then why are these animals all over the place on Wal-Mart commercials every single time I turn on my television? From 1 to 10, 10 being the best I give it a 9. I will get it when it comes out on DVD.
Well, that's about it. Don't forget to check out the Phile's webshots page at http://community.webshots.com/album/527540184iyFFCs . I add pictures at least once a week. Also, check out the Peverett Phile Old Skool Pics webshots page at http://community.webshots.com/album/550521369CUGmXm . I hope everybody has a safe Memorial Day. We'll be having a big party at our house tomorrow. In a day or so don't be surprised to see pics from it on webshots. Remember to spread the word and not the turd. I will leave you with a random pic.