Execute Order Sixty-Six

Hello, and welcome to the Phile on a Sunday, thanks to Star Wars Weekends. More on that in a little bit. President Bush met with the Prime Minister of Australia at the White House the other day. The Australian Prime Minister asked Bush, "When was the last time you were down under?” And Bush said, "You must be thinking of the other president…Clinton.” According to a "Washington Post”- ABC News poll, Americans say they now trust Democrats more than Republicans to deal with Iraq, the economy, immigration and other issues. In fact if the election were held today…John Kerry would still lose. In his speech the other night President Bush called for the National Guard to patrol the U.S.-Mexican border. The guard will track down and find illegals. I don’t know, that’s not really what the guard’s job is. They’re trained to fight, not track and find people. Lets be honest, the guard couldn’t track and find President Bush when he was in the National Guard. President Bush said that 6000 National Guard troops will be on the border for one year. Preferably, an election year. Conservative Republicans are worried there’s no way to keep track of all the illegal immigrants - unless of course, they start making phone calls. Then we’ll know. Other than that we are screwed. "Forbes” magazine has come out with their list of the richest people in the world. Eighty-year-old Fidel Castro, Mr. Communism, is near the top of the list - they say he’s worth over $900-million. And today, when she heard this, Anna Nicole Smith hopped in an inner tube and started paddling to Cuba. Texas is considering raising the speed limit to 80 miles an hour in Texas. This way, drivers can try and get to a gas station before the prices go up again. The Tony nominations are out. The Oprah thing, "The Color Purple” has been nominated for 12 Tony’s. I’m thrilled, it’s nice to see something finally going Oprah’s way. Speaking of Tony’s a new musical is opening up about Vice President Cheney. It’s called "Cheney Get Your Gun”. And did you see that new Tom Hanks movie about Da Vinci's bathroom? The Da Vinci Camode.

P.P. T.V.

10 things I hate about the commandments  A trailer for a new teen movie.

Train Wreck - Fool for the City This was filmed May 15 at TC's Speakeasy open mic night. A cover of a Foghat song.

DOCTOR WHO NEWS

Ratings for the tenth episode of the first season of the new series, The Doctor Dances, on US television on the Sci Fi Channel, have come in: the telecast had a slightly improved household rating this week of 1.09 with an average of 1.4 million viewers, up nearly a quarter of a million viewers from the previous week's season low. Season-to-date, Sci Fi reports that Doctor Who is currently averaging a 1.30 household rating and an average audience of 1.5 million viewers for the season.

STAR WARS WEEKENDS

Beginning last Friday on May 19th and running through June 11, the favorite event of Star Wars aficionados, the sixth annual* "Star Wars Weekends" event runs for four weekends. All events are included with regular Disney-MGM Studios admission. The popular event is held on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of each week. [*The first event ran in 2000, but was not held in 2002.] And once again I am working it. The last few days I was at Peter 'I am an asshole' Mayhew's autograph table. The first day was his birthday so he started off happy, the second day he was moody and today he was a bore to work with. He arrived ten minutes late for the second session, and still wanted to leave at his regular time. On Friday i saw Joey Fontone from N'sync who recognized me from working with him at the Disney 50th press event last May and yesterday Serena Williams was there. Jen and Logan also visited me which was a nice surprise. You can see some pictures at the Peverett Phile webshots page. Anyway, there has been a change to the guest list for this year. Bonnie Maree Piesse says she cannot attend this year. Instead on the third weekend (Jun 2-4) there has been the addition of Orli Shoshan (Shaak Ti). Next year marks the 30th anniversary of the release of the original Star Wars film. Word is that next year's Star Wars Weekends will be the biggest, most extensive ever, including a special Star Wars-themed fireworks display.

WHEN YOU'RE A CELEBRITY, ADIOS REALITY

After last season’s lame race, which might as well have just taken place at Epcot’s World Showcase, The Amazing Race 9 rebounded, allowing its teams to completely circumnavigate the earth. The three remaining teams—Eric and Jeremy, BJ and Tyler, and Ray and Yolanda—ended up at the Red Rocks Amphitheater, exactly where they’d started. There, BJ and Tyler crossed the finish line first, after they came from behind to beat Eric and Jeremy at the final Roadblock. When it was down to just Eric and Jeremy and BJ and Tyler, I was rooting for the Frat Boys, who placed first or second every single leg except one. The Hippies, on the other hand, were almost eliminated twice, and saved by the damn nonelimination round. Alas, fairness has never been a part of the race, starting with the frequent equalizers. Earlier, all three teams ended up on the same flight to Denver, making it a particularly thrilling and tense final 20 minutes. Overall, the last episode didn’t offer quite as much fun as earlier legs, but there was plenty to laugh at:

• Explaining their first clue, Phil told us that “one of the elephants in ceremonial dress will give the teams a T-Mobile Sidekick, which contains their next clue” — and the producers’ integrity.
• “We gotta catch the Hippies and the Frat Girls,” Ray said, apparently having noticed exactly what the editors and the rest of the world has noticed about our friends.
• The teams found a clue on one of the giant electronic billboards in Shibuya Crossing which read “Find Hachiko.” Of course, Eric and Jeremy translated that as “hot chico,” and translating their bastardized Spanish version of Japanese into English gives us “hot boy.” Even pretending to speak other languages, they can’t help themselves.
• Transporting a woman inside a palanquin, either Eric or Jeremy said, “Hope we got a hot one.” When she came out from inside, Eric said, “This is like a naughty fantasy come true right here.” I’d try to understand exactly what was the fantasy and what was naughty about it, but that’d involve getting inside Eric’s head and sexual fantasies, and I haven’t yet had breakfast.
• When the woman climbed out from inside Ray and Yolanda’s palanquin, Ray told her, “You’re much heavier than you look.” These poor women; did they have any idea what they were signing up for?
• “Crazy foreigners coming through. Excuse us,” Tyler said in Japanese, which he knew because, as he said, “I’ve got a Japanese girlfriend who’s taught me Japanese.” It was quite impressive for a jackass.
• Rarely does the show’s composer deserve a mention, but here s/he does; as the teams were completing tasks in Japan, the music would sometimes shift to include a riff on/homage to The Vapors’ “Turning Japanese.” Clever and/or cliche.
• What does it say about me that the most jealous I’ve been of the teams this entire season is when they were required to ride crazy roller coasters at Fujikyu Highlands? All of the incredible cultural experiences they’ve experienced and amazing locations they’ve visited, and I envy their trip to an amusement park.
• Upset by their ability to navigate Japan, Eric said, “Those hippies and their damn language-knowing.” And you frat boys and your damn grammar-knowing.
• “Regurgitated some crickets,” Tyler said on a roller coaster.
• “Hey man! Oh Lord, let me get out of here. … He patted me on my damn… We don’t do that where I’m from,” Ray said after a man helped him with directions and then slapped him on the ass. Oh, how jealous Jeremy must be.
• “I like your beard,” a woman told Tyler. “My beard? Touch it,” he said. Jeremy, standing nearby, said, “You’re an idiot.” Because he knows something about beards.
• Perhaps the most hysterical race to the mat ever occurred when the teams had to pedal swan boats to a giant swan-shaped cruise ship; it’s not easy to look graceful pedaling madly.
• “Don’t tell anybody, but I was on the swan boat club in high school. I was actually the captain,” Jeremy said. Don’t worry; no one would have ever guessed, dude.
• “Shaking some vital organs today, baby!” Yolanda screamed on a coaster.
• BJ and Tyler left money for the penniless Ray and Yolanda, and wrote on the note, “P.S. If you win the million dollars, you owe us 20 bucks.”
• “If anyone asks, you’re going to pretend you don’t understand English,” BJ or Tyler told a hotel clerk, playing dirty once again. And it worked: “Well, we don’t have Internet service,” the hotel desk clerk lied to Eric and Jeremy. The Hippie’s dickish behaviorwould have been worse had Eric and Jeremy not found a better flight via the telephone.
• “You look like Janet Jackson,” a drunk businessman told Yolanda when they begged for money. “If it’s so funny, y’all give us money, then,” she said. After they did, she said, “I’ll tell Michael you said hey.”
• Okay, I’m kind of tired of the commercial break fake-outs; the editors are getting a little lazy. “Sorry, we cannot do it,” a ticket agent told Ray and Yolanda. But after the break, she suddenly was able to book them on a flight. Moral of the story: If something bad happens before a break, it’ll always be resolved after the break.
• In Alaska, Tyler said, “We made it to the North Pole.” Hopefully he’ll take some geography lessons with his prize money.
• BJ and Tyler pulled a Fran and Barry when, looking for snowshoes, they ran right by them more than once.
• “I’m gonna catch these suckers at the airport. It ain’t over yet,” Ray said. At the airport, when they caught up with the other three teams, he said, “I bet on black.”
• At the airport, Tyler was upset about the state of his team’s relationship with the Frat Boys. “Alright, boys. Is it the million dollars that’s tearing us apart?” he asked. Eric said, “Yep.” 
• “Start thinking in your head,” Jeremy said, apparently aware that Eric usually thinks with another part of his body.
• After winning, BJ and Tyler hugged for a long time, and Phil stood awkwardly by. Later BJ said the race is “good couple’s therapy.”
• Eric and Jeremy were totally depressed at the finish line, and Phil decided to rub it in, telling them, “you guys consistently finished at the front.” But you lost! Ha! “We didn’t know the last one would be brains, dammit,” Jeremy said of the final challenge.
• On the final mat, Phil referred to Jeremy as Eric’s “partner,” and when he said that, BJ and Tyler faked an embrace. Heh.
• “We’ve traveled the world and now we can decide where do we want to go next. And we’ll probably go together,” Jeremy said. And that, friends, is the perfect end to this season.

And for Survivor:

Yoga instructor Aras Baskauskas won Survivor Panama: Exile Island last night, beating Danielle by a five to two vote. Danielle came out of her coma to win the final and most consequential immunity challenge, and was faced with breaking her promise with Terry or breaking her promise with Aras. She chose to betray Terry, and he ultimately voted for Aras, whose competitive spirit Terry clearly admired. Ultimately, Danielle’s decision didn’t matter; Jeff Probst polled the jury during the live reunion and found that only two, Cirie and Bruce, would have voted for Danielle had she been up against Terry. Cirie was awarded a Yukon based upon audience voting at CBS.com, and that may help put her at ease, as she came in fourth place, losing the fire-building tiebreaker challenge to Danielle. With Aras’ win, six men and six women have no won Survivor; at 24, Aras is the youngest man to win.

I HAVE A MIGRAINE

SEX TOY OR BABY TOY

Here is the answer to last week's sex toy or baby toy:

Okay, what is this one?

 

And now for a special version of Movie Buzz.

SUMMER MOVIE BUZZ

The Basics: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley looking sexy on a boat.
What's the Deal? Dreadlocked, gold-toothed and vice-ridden Jack Sparrow (Depp, still channeling Keith Richards) is trying to save his soul from Davy Jones' locker (Bill Nighy plays Jones). This naturally proves disruptive to the wedding of Will Turner (Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Knightley).
Why It's a Must: Depp's drunken–rock-star comic timing made Sparrow the star of the first Pirates, so he's front and center (usually running from an angry mob) in the second. Jack's misadventures naturally send the crew of the Black Pearl to some out-of-the-way locales, such as Singapore and, oh, yeah, purgatory.

The Basics: All-star mutants Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Hugh Jackman, Famke Janssen and Halle Berry return to flaunt their superpowers.
What's the Deal? One word: Phoenix. For those of you with no X-Men knowledge, that's Jean Grey (Janssen), resurrected and dangerous tothe whole damn world. And yeah, there's this whole mutant-vs.-human war thing that could destroy civilization, too.
Why It's a Must: Professor Xavier (Stewart) and Magneto (McKellen) once again battle, old-man–mutant–style, but the real dirt is in the soap-opera personal lives and new faces at Professor X's school. But where's Gambit already?

The Basics: Christopher Reeve look-alike Brandon Routh suits up as the new Man of Steel. Kate Bosworth swoons, Kevin Spacey plots, Brian Singer directs.
What's the Deal? What happens when Supe goes on vacation? Returning to Earth after six years, Kal-El questions his mission now that Lois Lane (Bosworth) has moved on and Lex Luthor (Spacey) wants to rumble. Talk about existential crisis!
Why It's a Must: Despite grumblings from Smallville over the noncasting of Tom Welling, Routh promises the same earnest nobility that Reeve radiated in his best moments. And did we mention Brian "X-Men, X2, The Usual Suspects" Singer?

The Basics: Surefire blockbuster formula: Start with a mammoth best seller, and then add a two-time Oscar winner (Tom Hanks), a cutie-pie Euro chick (Audrey Tautou) and Ron Howard.
What's the Deal? A murder at the Louvre intrigues American symbologist and chief suspect Robert Langdon (Hanks). With the help of a sexy cryptographer (Tautou), he unravels clues that explode lies about Jesus, the Vatican and the Holy Grail. Controversial? Why, what makes you say that?
Why It's a Must: So what if you read the book? So what if you didn't? The international cast and gorgeous locales promise an Indiana Jones–like adventure for religious-mystery lovers. Though the Ron Howard factor does give us brief pause.

The Basics: Oliver Stone tells the story of the worst terrorist attack on American soil through the eyes of two New York firefighters.
What's the Deal? Nicolas Cage and Michael Peña play two of the first firefighters on the scene after the planes hit and the last to be pulled alive from the rubble. The film follows their lives leading up to, during and after the fall of the Twin Towers.
Why It's a Must: Two words: Oliver Stone. Even when he's dressing up Colin Farrell in body armor, there's magic to his movies. And he's at his best when tragedy and human drama are involved. Enough said.

Well, that's it from me until next Sunday. Don't forget to check out my webshots page and the new webshots page: Peverett Phile Old Skool pics where I posted tons of pics from when I was a kid, and my family. Speaking of pics, I will leave you with a random pic.