Pheaturing Angela Lansbury

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday. How are you? Every time I finish a roll of toilet paper it feels like a petal flailing off the enchanted rose in Beauty and the Beast. So, until further notice, the days of the week are now called Thisday, Thatday, Otherday, Someday, Yesterday, Today, and Nextday. The air is so fill of sanitizer that I'm not even getting dirty thoughts these days.
Let's start off with some good news... The three missing children from Roanoke County, Virginia, believed to be in “extreme danger,” were safely found. Six-year-old Cameron, 6-year-old Emma, and 21-month-old Colin Allison were all found near Florence, South Carolina, with their mother, 35-year-old, Ruby Marie Allison. Ruby Marie Allison, the mother of Emma and Colin, is married to 34-year-old John Allison, who fathers all three children. On Wednesday, April 22nd, 2020, John turned himself into the Roanoke County Police. He is currently being held in the Roanoke County-Salem Jail on three counts of felony abduction. Ruby was taken into custody and is currently waiting to be extradited to Virginia. According to authorities, the parents kidnapped the children after the Roanoke County Social Services Office attempted to remove the three children from John and Ruby’s care. Police stated the father refused to turn over access over his children to Child Protective Services. Luckily, the children are now safe with the South Carolina authorities and will be handed over to Roanoke County Social Services to determine the next steps.
The most soulless non-dark web site on the information superhighway is reporting that married couples are sending all kinds of dick pics and sexts to people who aren’t their husbands and wives during the coronavirus shutdown. Ashley Madison... whose tagline is, “Life is short. Have an affair.” ... has added 17,000 new members a day during the coronavirus pandemic. And, now that these people can’t meet up to take a dump on their vows and possibly each other if that’s something someone’s partner wasn’t willing to do, they’ve taken their affairs virtual. More and more people are having cybersex, virtual sex, video sex... you name it, according to Ashley Madison. “We’ve spoken to members, and they’re saying they’re using the site as a release valve for the tension that’s built up at home during the pandemic,” said Ashley Madison chief strategy officer Paul Keable in an interview with Venture Beat. “They’re looking to have needs met that aren’t being met at home.” Having a virtual affair while you’re locked inside your house with your husband or wife sounds miserable. How do you even have cybersex with your spouse in the house? You have to basically get them so drunk they pass out and then still go lock yourself in the most insulated room in the house and flick or stroke as fast as you can just in case they wake up. I guess you could have an understanding with your affair partner that if you get caught they have to act like a cam girl/cam boy. You know, start talking to an audience that isn’t there so it doesn’t seem like the cheater is the only one on the stream. But they’d be terrible at it. “Okay guys, what should I do now? Um, uh, touch myself again?” It really can’t be comforting for Ashley Madison users to know that Ashley Madison is constantly putting out press releases that are like, “eyyyyy check out how many people are cheating on each other this month isn’t that wild!” I guess this is still better than getting your sex jollies from hanging virtual dong on a high school science class.
A New Jersey high school teacher made what was clearly a bad day roughly a trillion times worse after she wished slow painful death on a group of teenagers from her school who were ignoring coronavirus social distancing by playing football in a closed park. Whatever the teacher version of the Hippocratic oath is, what she did there is probably the opposite of that. Nicole Griggs, who has been teaching at Steinert High School in Hamilton Township, New Jersey for the last fifteen years, was out walking her dog in a classic quarantine outfit... a filthy old grey sweatsuit... when she came across the students and, understandably, had a tough time holding her tongue about their flippant behavior. While it’s reasonable for someone to become upset at other people for not following (or completely ignoring) proper COVID-19 social distancing measures, there are still limits to that reaction. And Mrs. Griggs soared across that line sitting atop a speeding rocket like Slim Pickens. At first, Griggs was simply yelling at the kids to leave, telling them that things would go on this way if people like them didn’t listen to the authorities about taking proper precautions, and even warned them that they would get arrested if they didn’t go home. She was almost trying to help. But then things took a turn. Griggs became more and more frustrated and started shouting at one of the kids for filming her. Then, completely fed up, Griggs fired off a real zinger. I’m just trying to save your ass and save your life. But die, okay? I hope both of you get the coronavirus. I hope both of you die a long, painful death. The video was uploaded first to Snapchat and then to TikTok, with the caption, “Y’all Mrs Griggs is losing her damn mind how if is she a teacher #coronavirus.” The school district has said it’s investigating the incident.
A 48-year-old Wisconsin man is the victim of a flesh-eating bacteria that forced him to have all of his limbs amputated. According to medical experts, Greg Manteufel, of West Bend, Wisconsin, went to the emergency room in February 2019 after he thought he contracted the flu. Yet, after several tests, medical experts revealed that Manteufel had contracted an infection from a bacteria identified as Capnocytophaga Canimorsus, found in dog saliva. The bacteria usually causes severe infections in people with weakened immune systems and is spread through bites or close contact with infected dogs. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) stated patients infected with the bacteria may have blisters around the bite wound, swelling, redness, fever, headaches, vomiting, diarrhea and muscle, and joint pain. Symptoms typically appear within three to five days but can take up to two weeks. If untreated, severe infections can be fatal within 72 hours of when symptoms appear. His wife, Dawn Manteufel spoke with Fox 6 about his symptoms, stating that the disease hit him with vengeance, bruising him all over. The disease had made it look as if someone had beat him up with a baseball bat, which had shocked both of them. Her husband has a history of good health and spent his life around dogs, which is why it caught them off guard. Yet, the infection in his blood triggered a severe response in his body. Infectious Disease Specialist, Dr. Silvia Munoz-Price stated this was a very rare case. Over 99 percent of people who have dogs will never have this issue. Yet, be aware that sometimes these friendly animals, who love to lick their owners’ faces, can and do carry a long list of bacteria that can severely impact human health. The disease can cause a very bad sepsis infection, but usually in people who are immunocompromised and usually follows a dog bite. The infection caused Manteufel’s blood pressure to drop, which is why the circulation to his limbs decreased, causing them to turn black. Within a week, doctors had to amputate his legs and had to undergo surgery to remove a portion of his hands, as well as half of his forearms. The couple had created a GoFundMe page to cover medical expenses. “Furthermore, all areas of Greg’s body and tissue was affected by the bacteria and the sepsis, the [doctors] say his nose will need extensive repairs, which means he will need plastic surgery to rebuild a new healthy nose. Greg is going to need several more surgeries, lots of time and his family by his side to get [through] this life-changing event.” Being as positive as they can, Dawn stated they’d rather focus on what her husband has left, than what was taken away. If you would like to donate to Manteufel medical care, you can do so through the families GoFundMe page. If you suspect you or someone you know has Capnocytophaga, you should consult a medical professional for antibiotic (which is how the virus is treated if caught on time) to stop it from spreading. “For some reason, I survived,” Greg Manteufel told Fox 6 in an update on his recovery progress since he had lost all of his limbs to the flesh-eating bacteria, Capnocytophaga Canimorsus. This specific bacteria is found in dog or cat saliva. However, his positive and determined attitude is encouragingly refreshing for his situation, even inspiring his family. Recently, Greg has been doing his best to get stronger and better using more advanced prosthetic limbs, taking part in a Harvard Medical School study about his case. He is constantly trying to improve in any way he can to help improve the study for future cases. And he’s doing it all fearlessly with his dog, Ellie, by his side. “A lot of people don’t even make it,” he says. “I happened to make it. Now, I’m trying to make the best of the situation.” His GoFundMe page is still running, even after beating its goal of $145,000, and you can donate! It’s really important to note the difference between the specific symptoms of Capnocytophaga infections, coronavirus symptoms, and actual flu-like symptoms. With the coronavirus (COVID-19) symptoms also being closely similar to flu-like symptoms, it will be important to consider all risk factors in making sure the right intensive care is given. We can all use a little more awareness during this pandemic in striving to be healthy people.
Governor Greg Abbott has announced Texas restaurants, retail stores, malls, and movie theaters will be allowed to re-open on May 1st, 2020. According to Abbott, he will let the state’s stay-at-home order expire at the end of the month. Restrictions will be applied, and locations will only be allowed to operate at 25 percent capacity. Libraries and museums will also be allowed to open at a 25 capacity, but hands-on exhibits must remain closed. The governor’s executive order supersedes local orders which stated those businesses must remain closed. The new guidelines are the biggest to date thus far in order to restart the Texas economy amid the coronavirus pandemic. Abbott also stated non-contact sport and activities, such as golf courses, will also be allowed to resume operating at a reduced capacity. Saying that, he noted the reopenings are optional, and Texas businesses are allowed to stay closed if they wish. Through a live news conference, the governor called the openings “Phase 1”, stating, “it’s time to set a new course.” Gov. Abbott is holding off on reopening certain businesses for now, including hair salons, barber shops, gyms, and bars, hoping those businesses can open no later than mid-may as part of “Phase 2.” These openings should come to effect on May 18th, 2020, as state officials need two weeks of data to absolutely ensure there was not a spike in cases. He noted, “Just as we united as one state to slow COVID-19, we must also come together to begin rebuilding the lives and the livelihoods of our fellow Texans." Just last week, Abbott reopened state parks and allowed doctors to perform nonessential surgeries. Retailers were allowed to start selling items for curbside pickup on Friday. According to the Texas Department of State Health Services and the Texas Tribune, as of yesterday, there are 25,297 confirmed coronavirus cases in 205 counties and 663 deaths in the state. The top four counties include Harris, Dallas, Tarrant, and Travis. According to DSHS, there have been more than 290,517 tests done in Texas. Do you think Texas should reopen despite the number of active cases? I don't and I dread Florida opening.
Hey, did you see Biden;s new slogan?

Haha. The makers of Lysol have come out with a new product...

I wonder what stores will sell it. Since the coronavirus happened churches have been putting up some very clever signs.

Speaking of signs, those protestors sure have some idiotic ones...

Ugh! Good news, in Chicago the bean's babies have finally returned after not being seen for over 100 years. The earth is healing.

Hey, did you see who was named the head of the COVID-19 response team?

Hahaha. That's so stupid... that's as stupid as..

I wonder how many readers will get that. This is March versus April...

Man, I hope Ms. Lansbury doesn't get mad about that. Okay, now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive New Books About The Quarantine
5. Sisterhood Of The Can't Be Bothered To Put On Pants
4. 50 Shades Of Grey Sweatpants
3. A Series Of Unfortunate Haircuts
2. The Handwasher's Tale
And the number one new book about the quarantine is...
1. Charlotte's Web Meeting

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's see if that police car is still there in Port Jeff...

Nope. It's not there and nothing is going on.

These party hosts about to get arrested.

Okay, so, you wanna laugh?

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area." "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"

The 122nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Craig will be on the Phile on Thursday.

This is so cool, I think. Today's guest is a British-American actress who has appeared in theatre, television, and film roles. Her career has spanned almost eight decades, much of it in the United States. Please welcome to the Phile, the one and only... Angela Lansbury.

Me: Hello, Angela, welcome to the Phile. I'm so excited to have you here. How are you?

Angela: It's a pleasure. 

Me: Thirty-six years ago "Murder, She Wrote" was premiered on TV. How did you get the part of Jessica Fletcher in "Murder, She Wrote"?

Angela: When I was offered the part, Norman Lear, the legendary sitcom producer most famously of "All In the Family" and "The Jeffersons" wanted me for another show.

Me: So, why did you pick the drama over the sitcom? Is that what happened?

Angela: Simply because I felt I wanted to play a character that possibly could endure itself to an audience that I never really faced before. This is something new to me, I was coming from the theatre and I felt this woman could be of interest to the general public. I think I was right actually because we did do the show for 12 years. we never lost our audience and we haven't today, not even today.

Me: Why do you think people still watch the show today?

Angela: People remember it and I'm delighted that they do.

Me: I have to say I never watched an episode of the show, but my mom loved it. I was more into "The A-Team" and "Magnum P.I." back then I have to say. Young people seem to like Jessica Fletcher, right? Why is that?

Angela: It seems so. She's a comforting character in interesting situations and certainly over the years she grew and became quite interesting and quite glamorous at times which was kind of nice as she started off in a very low heeled show type person. So suddenly she became a little bit glam so that was fun, and the audience liked it.

Me: So, the BBC said that if Cabot Cove was a real place it would be the murder capitol of the world. What do you think of that?

Angela: There you go.

Me: What do you think of the theory that Jessica Fletcher was the one that committed all the murders?

Angela: Oh, I haven't heard that one. That's new on me. We don't really know who was behind that mask, do we?

Me: Did you ever get bored playing Jessica all those years?

Angela: No, as an actress who has played a lot of interesting roles in my career up to that point she was pretty straight forward compared to playing the Queen in Hamlet and all kind of interesting things all over the world. So going back and settling down once in my career was something new to me. I just threw myself into "Murder, She Wrote." I just thought this is wonderful, I had grandchildren coming up right left and centre and I lived in California for the first time and it was a wonderful experience for me.

Me: Your grandfather was George Lansbury, who was a British politician and social reformer who led the Labour Party. What did you think of that?

Angela: I am so proud to be his granddaughter, What a wonderful experience it was knowing him in my youth. He was the leader of the Labour Party in Great Britain in the 1930s and just being a part of his family was one of the great plusses of my life.

Me: What do you think of his speeches and what he believed in politically?

Angela: Well, I went as a child and heard him in places like the Albert Hall in Britain, an enormous place just filled with people, thousands of people listening and watching and I realised what an amazing character he was. Now I do. At the time I was enormously impressed with his ability to quiet down an enormous audience and have them listen to every word he said. And every word he said had a real meaning and I recognised that as a child I think. I was enormously impressed by it and felt it. I was thrilled to be part of his family.

Me: Where in England are you from, Angela?

Angela: Regent's Park, Central London.

Me: When and how did you first come to America?

Angela: A ship took me from England to North America during World War ll. We started off from Liverpool and I believe Liverpool was bombed after we left. We just got out in time. This was a boat filled with youngsters who were sent to Canada to sit out the war and I was one of them with my twin brothers, Edgar and Bruce. It was an event for us, it was exciting, it was pretty freighting too, we had Destroyers around us but we were trying to get away from the U-boats who at that time who were just knocking out any piece of ship that crossed the ocean at that time from Britain. But we made it and that was a marvelous thing. We landed in Canada.

Me: What do you remember about seeing Canada for the first time?

Angela: Well, we weren't there very long. We almost immediately got on a train and went down to New York City. I didn't have the experience of being in Canada at that time. I did later when I was about 16 I went to Canada for the first time with a job and I went to work in a sort of nightclub. Thank goodness I was able to make enough money to lie and buy some clothes and finally went back to New York where I went to drama school for a while.

Me: What is one of the songs you performed when you started singing?

Angela: The Noel Coward song "I Went to a Marvelous Party." I had about four songs that I sang and at that time many of the RAF from Britain were training in Canada to fight the Battle of Britain and I remember so many of them coming to the Samovar Club and being delighted to seeing an English girl up there singing away and I had great audience thank God, which I wouldn't of had if it hadn't been for them.

Me: How did you end up in California?

Angela: I forget the name of the group my mother was with but some very well known British performers were on this train that went across Canada playing and doing their thing across the country and ending up the other end what would be the last stop in Vancouver. That's where she ended up and from Vancouver she decided as she was that far west that she would make a trip down to California and to Los Angeles. And so she did and at that time she called me in New York, I was there with my brothers and suggested I should come out to California and we could possibly make careers for ourselves there. She was a damn good actress herself and she thought I might be able to make a break of it in Hollywood and so I did which was a whole world away as far as I was concerned.

Me: What did you think about California?

Angela: It was all about the movies and was very exciting and very glamorous at the thought of going to Hollywood.

Me: What was the first movie you were in there? 

Angela: Gaslight, playing the little tart Nancy.

Me: What was that like being in that movie for you?

Angela: Elizabeth Taylor and I used to take the bus to MGM Studios in those days because she was just a little tiny sweetheart of a girl and I was just making my way. And that's how it was. I was put under contract at MGM, and she was already under contract at MGM of course. I stayed there for 7 odd years and I left MGM and went to the theatre.

Me: Why did you leave MGM and Hollywood?

Angela: They used me as a sort of utility actress and I had to pay my way as it were. I was under contract at the studio which was pretty wonderful in those days to have that income, whether I worked or not. But I hated some of the parts that I was forced to play. I didn't have any say on what I would, but I pulled myself out of a couple but mainly I did what I was told because it was important quite frankly. We just needed to work. I stayed out for about 7 years and I did about anything they asked me to do, which was a total waste of time but that was okay. That's life.

Me: What was the first Broadway show you were in?

Angela: Mame, with the great Beatrice Arthur. What a wonderful time we had together, my goodness. Bless her heart, we were great friends, dear dear friends. I loved being with her, she was a real pro, a terrific woman and a great comedian.

Me: Did you fit in with that role?

Angela: Not really but it was an opportunity for me certainly to become a glamorous woman rather than a less glamorous woman I played at the beginning of my career certainly in the theatre. But Mame was a huge breakthrough, that was the beginning of a wonderful Broadway career.

Me: I knew you first from Bedknobs & Broomsticks. What do you remember from that?

Angela: Well, it was a great breakthrough for me. It was something that appealed to the younger generations. I'm very, very thankful that I did it. I loved doing it, I loved the idea of doing it, and I loved working for Disney. I'm a character actress, I don't really want to play myself. I'm not interested in playing myself, I'm far more interested in playing women other than Angela Lansbury because it's a bit boring.. So Bedknobs & Broomsticks was really fun. I had great time doing it and it turned out to be enormously successful film. Even today a lot of kids love to watch it.

Me: And I think more kids today known you as Mrs. Potts from Beauty & the Beast. What do you remember about that?

Angela: Well, Mrs. Potts is something else again. She's a cartoon character but very much someone I understood and felt very comfortable playing as a character.

Me: You understood her?

Angela: Well, I knew what they wanted to hear from this little person. I think you have to creep into the imagination of children to sell them on a character who is a teapot. How else am I going to do it unless I make her as human as possible, with her little guy who is her son. I think that's part of the fun of playing these characters. I do it all the time, even to this day. I play certain characters, you hear my voice and may not realise it's me, but it is me.

Me: You're older than 90-years-old, and we touched on only a few of very successful parts of your long career. You must love acting as you keep doing it, am I right?

Angela: Oh, I think so. Defintely. I have to keep your hand in. I can't assume that I can just stop. I have to keep doing otherwise I do learn how to do various things that I do using other voices and doing voice-overs. I don't make movies anymore, but that's okay. My voice is not my fortune, but certainly, my voice is the thing I've been able to keep going and even though I'm 94, I don't feel anything like that. I am what I eat, that's what I tell myself. For me that's very strong tea.

Me: I think you might be the oldest guest I ever had on the Phile. How do you keep so fit and look so good, Angela? You don't look like you're 94.

Angela: I watch what I was and these days at my age I sit down a lot, which is a very bad idea. If I didn't live on a hill I'd walk more. But not walking as much as I used to I put on quite a bit of weight and I'm pretty pissed about that.

Me: Hahahaha. Are you still singing?

Angela: Yes, I still sing. I never lost my voice which is interesting because I'd think over the years I was going to lose it but I don't lose it. As long as I use it I don't lose it. That's a good one.

Me: So, I'm gonna ask you a question I don't think anybody ever asked you about... have you heard of the song "Murder She Wrote" by Chaka Demus & Pliers?

Angela: No, what are they, a group?

Me: They're sort of legends in reggae music apparently.

Angela: Oh, reggae, I'm thrilled to be part of reggae, of course.

Me: That's funny. Angela, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Take care, and please come back again. Stay safe.

Angela: Not at all, I enjoyed talking to you, loved your questions and appreciate your interest. Thank you very much.

Well, there you go, not the most exciting interview but I'm glad she was on the Phile. Thanks to Angela Lansbury. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Tommy Chong. Spread the word, not the turd... or the virus. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you, Bye, love you, bye.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon