Friday, January 8, 2016

The Peverett Phile 10th Anniversary Special

Hey there, thank you, my phriends, and welcome to the Phile's 10th anniversary special entry. Ten years... that's like a decade. This is also the 855th entry. That's a lot of pages and a lot of words. J.K. Rowling don't even write that much. So, how do you like the new logo? I think it's very cool. So, ten years ago when I decided to write a blog people said to me, "I heard you just started a blog... is everything okay?" Some people think that in the ten years the Phile changed its algorithm or I'm not as funny as I thought. As you know the Phile is on bloodspot which is owned by Google. Some people out there wish the Phile was on Internet Explorer. I love Google, but I wish I could Google search for things in my house. I have to tell you I've officially given up trying to understand what Google's homepage wants me to celebrate. It should be celebrating the Phile's anniversary. Well, we are one week into 2016... and we are 11th month away til we say "President Trump." We must never speak of what may have happened in 2006 or what compelled someone to do this search.

That being said, this person probably got a lot of dates in 2011. In 2006 Twitter was a revolutionary platform for social change and live reporting. In 2016 WATCH THESE MILLIONAIRES FEUD WITH EACH OTHER! "You can find me on Myspace." Said absolutely no one since 2006. Haha. Did you know you could type in 10,000 characters on Twitter now? Some people wish the Phile would adopt a strict 140-character limit. Alright, so, for most of the years I have done the Phile I would start with a monologue about somethings that is going on in the news. By the way, the news is basically just someone saying good evening, and then giving you  a list of reason it's not. But not me. No sire. So, let's start with the news...
A man spent a year of his life building a 7,500-piece, three-foot-long Lego version of the Millennium Falcon, the spaceship famously piloted by Han Solo and Chewbacca in the Star Wars movies, and even if you think that's the nerdiest sentence ever written, the finished product is pretty cool.

It's apparently the version of the Millennium Falcon from the most recent Star Wars movie, since there have been some adjustments made over the years. Makes sense... in a different galaxy, Han Solo would totally be that guy adding sweet mods to the car he built in shop class (you know he bored Leia half to death talking about his adjustments to the hyperdrive). Also, in case you're thinking that you made this same thing as a kid from a kit your parents bought you, the Lego blog Brothers Brick compared the official Lego version of the Millennium Falcon with this fan's version and found that the from-scratch take on the space ship was more detailed and accurate. If it was any more like the actual Millennium Falcon, this post would have to have a spoiler alert. 
The holidays may be over, but if you're still in the spirit of giving, you can snatch up Michael Jackson's former estate, Neverland Ranch, for the bargain price of $100 million. But many things have changed since the King of Pop was in residence. Neverland Ranch now goes by the name of Sycamore Valley Ranch, although who is ever going to call it that? The amusement park rides are gone, and most of the exotic animals moon-walked out of there long ago. The only one left is Ricky the llama, who apparently didn't get the memo to beat it. Despite the changes, Michael's signature style is still a big part of Neverland Ranch. The iconic Neverland clock, the railroad station, train tracks, and 50-seat movie theater all remain on the property. Grab your wallet (and your crotch) and buy this bad boy.
The Beatles' songs were streamed more than 50 million times in the first 48 hours after they made their song catalog available to music streaming services a few weeks ago. After boycotting sites like Apple Music and Spotify for years, the band finally began allowing their music to be streamed starting on Christmas Eve. According to "The Daily Mail," the web analysis site BrandWatch found that 65 percent of those listeners... at least on Spotify were millennials under the age of 34. They probably think "Hi-Fi" is a type of Internet connection (that joke was from your dad, who is currently listening to "Abbey Road" on vinyl). In real world terms, that means that no one Beatles song is doing as well as, say, Justin Bieber's "Sorry," though "Come Together," the top-listened Beatles song on Spotify, managed to crack the U.S. Top 50 list. However, in just a few days, the "Fab Four" (as all journalists have to call them at least once per article, union rules dictate) have managed to become the 131st ranked artist on Spotify, which is pretty damn impressive for a band that hasn't made music together in over 45 years. According to "Rolling Stone," a magazine for old potheads to put in their vans, these are the most-streamed Beatles songs on Spotify in the U.S.: 1. "Come Together," 2. "Hey Jude," 3. "Here Comes The Sun," 4. "Let It Be," 5. "Twist And Shout," 6. "Blackbird," 7. "I Want To Hold Your Hand," 8. "In My Life," 9. "She Loves You," 10. "Help!" It's weird that the objectively, factually best Beatles song, "In My Life," isn't number one, but whatever.
This is a nice story... It's pretty much the norm that when women hit menopause, they're done carrying babies. Texas resident Tracey Thompson is an unusual exception. The 53-year-old mother of two, who was post-menopausal for seven years, recently gave birth to her daughter's child. Thompson's 28-year-old daughter Kelley McKissack had undergone IVF and suffered three miscarriages. While McKissack's last round of treatment failed and resulted in a miscarriage on Christmas in 2014 (heartbreaking), she had a few fertilized embryos. Thompson willingly stepped up and offered to carry the embryos for McKissack and her husband Aaron. Doing so required Thompson to reverse her menopausal state. On January 6th, Thompson successfully gave birth to little Kelcey. "It is such a blessing that I can do this for my daughter," Thompson said in a press release from The Medical Center of Plano, where she gave birth. Now every year on her birthday Kelcey can hear the slightly confusing, mostly awesome story of how she came to be.
If you're debating whether or not to pile on a few more pizza toppings next time you grab a pie, go for it. It won't be the death of you. The pizza box will be, but fortunately not for long. A number of groups, including the Center for Food Safety and​ the Breast Cancer Fund, have filed a joint petition to the FDA "proposing that we amend our food additive regulation to no longer provide for the use of three specific perfluoroalkyl ethyl containing food-contact substances (FCSs) as oil and water repellants for paper and paperboard for use in contact with aqueous and fatty foods." Translation: there's this chemical called perfluoroalkyl ethyl that's used in pizza boxes, and other food packaging, in order to prevent oil and water from seeping everywhere. Perfluoroalkyl ethyl can leech into food, and then it hangs out in your body and raises your risk of cancer. This has been known for some time, but the FDA is finally taking steps to do something about it. In response to the Center for Food Safety's petition, the FDA announced a ban on January 4th of the three substances in food packaging that contain perfluoroalkyl ethyl. What this means is that in about a month, when the ban goes into effect, delivery food will probably be even greasier. That is, until a replacement additive can be found.
Continuing his 2016 streak of failing to improve his public image, Justin Bieber was kicked out of the Mayan ruins archeological site in Tulum, Mexico on Thursday. In his short visit, 21-year-old Bieber managed to offend staff and break the rules multiple times. According to "New York Magazine," Biebs started off his trip by bringing beer to the entrance point, which was not cool. After exchanging some words with security guards, things were okay until Bieber decided he wanted to climb some ruins that were blatantly off-limits, the AP reports. The real highlight of this trip was when Bieber and friends mooned staff at the archeological site for the purpose of a photo. Adriana Velazquez-Morlet, director of the National Institute of Anthropology and History, told "ET" that Bieber was indeed kicked out and that "[h]e and his mates pulled his pants down and insulted our staff at the site." Bieber, whose butt has made news before, may have been surprised to learn that the naked rear of a pop star does not qualify as significant Mexican cultural history. But whatever you say about Bieber, I like him... he's a Foghat fan.

Alright, so all this month and maybe more I am gonna show you pics what people I imagine look like when they read the Phile.

He looks so happy, doesn't he? Do you guys play "Minecraft"? My son was really into it a few years ago. Anyway, Mojang, the makers of the game have a really weird tag line...

I thought it was weird. I went to the book shop the other day and I just happened to walk by the children's book section and saw a book which I thought had a different title.

I thought it was purple crayon. Hmmm. Never mind. So, ever see those fliers on telephone poles where you are supposed to rip off the bottom piece with a phone number? Well, some people get a lot more creative than putting phone numbers to rip off...

 I work with the public a lot and there's one thing I am certain of... aliens exist. Don't believe me?

Alien! One thing you might of learnt about me in the ten years is that I don't break rules. No, I don't. Not like this guy...

What an arsehole. You may be cool, people, but you'll never be B.B. King, John Lee Hooker and Willie Dixon by-the-pool-in-in-fine-ass-suits-cool.

Did you kids see the new Star Wars movie? I am sure you did. when I saw this character...

I thought where did I see her before. And then it hit me.

Haha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as this...

Ever see an inanimate object you think looks like a real person? Like this?

Hahaha. So, one thing I like to do in my spare time is to look up words on Twitter and one of those words I look up is "Foghat" to see what people are saying. Here's one tweet that I discovered a while ago...

Sure it is, Mike. Okay, from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's...

Top Phive Reasons The Phile Has Been On The Internet
5. It's free and it's in color.
4. Sophisticated technology that makes readers think they smell bacon.
3. I was just about out of jokes after nine years: then along came Trump.
2. Prozac! Prozac! Prozac!
And the number one reason the Phile has been on the 'net for ten years...
1. I'm Captain Jason and the world is my ship of love.

Kitty Kallen 
May 25th, 1922 — January 7th, 2016
Sit. Play dead. Good Kitty.

Natalie Cole 
February 6th, 1950 — December 31st, 2015 
Everyone likes "Unforgettable." I prefer "Leavin'."

Lemmy Kilmister 
December 24th, 1945 — December 28th, 2015

Okay, I said last year that all through January I want you to send in the Mindphucks and I will pick out the best ones. So, here we go, the first one a reader sent in...

I have no idea what the Mindphuck is. Good luck, people. Alright, for the last five or so years I have pheature someone on the Phile that really should have his own blog. He's really popular here and my readers love him. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is.

T.G.I.F... tongue goes it first. Can't get over that fact that the Peverett Phile is ten years old. Jason asked me to put together something about what I was doing ten years ago. So... here goes nothin'... In 2005 I became a grandfather for the first time with the birth of Anthony. I was still what I considered to be "happily married." Facebook was not around yet, so I spent my time spouting off in a bar to drunken musicians and fans. I was performing as a Bono impersonator in a U2 tribute band named Pride-The U2 Show. I was ten years younger and had little or no grey hair. I was every bit the asshole I am now. Back to you, Jason.

Is that Bono? Haha. Great job, Laird. Okay, there was no entry last Monday so I need to catch up with some football talk with one of my best friends... Jeff. It's time for...

Me: Jeff! Welcome to the Phile's 10th anniversary entry! I think you have been on every anniversary entry. Anyway, how are you?

Jeff: It's always good to be here, especially on such an occasion to help you celebrate!

Me: Happy new year by the way!

Jeff: Happy new year to you as well.

Me: So, let's talk about football... then we'll talk about me. Haha. The big news is the 12 teams who made it to the playoffs and my favorite coach retiring. Are you surprised Tom Coughlin is retiring? 

Jeff: Well, I haven't heard Coughlin is retiring. It's just that his time up with the Giants is up. There are reports that he may not be a head coach, but that he will still be involved in football next season. Possibly as a consultant to a team.

Me: Good point. What other big news in the NFL?

Jeff: Oh, there's all ready a few coaching positions open. First the Eagles fired Chip Kelly last Tuesday. Cleveland fired their coach. So did San Fran. So there's at least four openings. I don't know how to, but I'd like to throw my hat in to be an NFL coach. I do when in Madden every season. So NFL teams? Call me? I need a job!

Me: Okay, since our last picks, how did we do?

Jeff: Well, we both went 1-1 on our picks last week. The Steelers won while the Giants won so I gained another point. So with that I took a 3 point lead.

Me: You're in the lead now? Ugh! Alright, let's do this weeks picks... I say Seahawks by 6 and Texans by 4. What do you say?

Jeff: Green Bay by 3. Minnesota by 3.

Me: Okay, now about me... Ha! Just kidding, let's talk about you... I'm asking my guests this month where they were 10 years ago and what you were doing, so in 2006 what were you doing?

Jeff: Let's see. Ten years ago I was still in Orlando working with you at Innoventions. In fact, I found a picture of you and I from the summer of 2006.

Me: Cool! Thanks so much for being on the Phile, Jeff. You are one of my best friends. I always like it when you're here. I'll see you back here in a few days on Monday.

Jeff: I always love being guest here. May you have at least another 10 more years! Congratulations on such a mile stone!

Me: Another ten years? Ha! I doubt that's gonna happen! Alright, so as you know, Jeff, and the readers know I live in Florida. Some crazy things happen in Florida that happen no where else in the Universe. That's why I have a pheature called...

Power Wheels, the hallmark of childhood coolness, are still helping kids get up to no good. On Wednesday, a three-year-old boy in Florida was spotted driving his sweet whip well beyond the confines of his yard and along a highway. The toddler was rocking a diaper, because he was in this runaway mission for the long haul. Drivers saw the boy on US 19 in Crystal River, and two very concerned people pulled over to see what was up. According to Danny Miller, who snapped photos and talked with local station WFLA, the kid wasn't happy to be stopped. He was eager to fulfill the universal childhood dream of riding off into the sunset. After about ten minutes, the boy's father showed up and took him home. The dad was reportedly taking a shower when the boy took his leave. Chances are that's the last time this kid will ride his Wheels for a long while.

Crazy. Alright, so, one of the things that I think makes the Phile stick out over most blogs is the cast of characters I have here. From Pat Riot, to Marvin the Mayan to Eve Rest... there have been some great ones in the last few ten years or so. So, for this anniversary entry I thought it'll be fun to bring back three of the most popular and current. The first for years was a polar bear in the Norway rode at Epcot, but what he really wanted to be was a comedian. So, on and off for the last year or so I have had him on the Phile to try out his material. So, here he is...

Petter: Hei, det er flott å være her på 10-årsdagen oppføring av Phile.

Me: Ummm... thanks? Petter, once again I don't think the readers understand Norwegian. Anyway, do you have a joke for us? Just one.

Petter: A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her, "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?" The teacher said, "I don't know, how?" Jacob then said, "You open the door and put it in there!" Then Jacob asked the teacher another question, "How do you put a polar bear in the fridge?" The teacher then replied, "Ohh, I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?" Jacob said, "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there." Then he asked another question... "All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?" The teacher a bit confused and said, "The lion?" Then the student said "No, the polar bear because he's still in the fridge." Then he asked her just one more question... "If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it, how would you?" The teacher then says, "You would walk over the bridge." Then Jacob says, "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!" She laughs and walks away.

Me: There are no words. Haha. Great job, Petter. Petter, the Comedic Norwegian Unemployed Polar Bear, everybody. Okay, the next character is a shark who shows up during Shark Week in August with his own brand of humor. So, please welcome back...

Me: Feagal, got a joke for us?

Feargal: What is the shark worlds favorite Macintosh web browser?

Me: This joke is gonna be outdated, but what?

Feargal: Jawvari.

Me: That is terrible! Get out of here! Feargal the Shark, kids. And finally, he's a bunny hunter by day, comedian by night... straight from the Outer Rim, here's...

Tractor: Why did Count Dooku get a pet crow?

Me: I don't know, why did Dooku get a pet crow?

Tractor: So that ten thousand systems would rally to his caws.

Me: Ugh! That's fucking horrible! Do you have a limerick to finish off with, Tractor?

Tractor: There once was a man from Naboo had a cleft chin and warped point of view. Before the Jedi could sense it he said, "I AM the senate!" and the galaxy was in some deep voodoo!

Me: That was bad! Tractor Beam, kids!

Tractor: Thank you. Don't eat the bantha.

Peverett Phile
The Peverett Phile is the Florida of the Internet.

The 43rd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Phile Alum and author Jim Korkis will be on the Phile a week from today. It'll be good.

Okay, so, in the last few months I introduced a new pheatire where people can come onto the Phile with some kinda cause and try to get the word out. I think it works. Anyway, a young man named Mason Mellinger from Crystal Lake, Illinois wanted to come on and tell his cause. So, here we go...

Boba Fett has become an icon in the Star Wars film universe and has been loved by fans of many generations as well as selling many licensed products bearing his likeness. To the conformation of a Boba Fett spin-off movie was inevitable it is the diehard fans that really wish to see the film. As such they want the actor playing Boba to properly represent the character as well as have his image continue to fit in the Star Wars continuity. Boba Fett's backstory has been established in the prequel films that he is the genetic replica of Jango Fett, played by Maori New Zealand actor Temuera Morrison and Daniel Logan in both the Star Wars prequels and the "Clone Wars" animated cartoons. We the fans want Boba to be played by one of the two actors mentioned for the film instead of recasting him with another actor of a different look because 1. Since he is a clone of a Maori, he should be played by a Maori actor. Anyone else would be viewed as either white-washing or black-washing the character. It is not a view of opinion it the further establishment of what has been made before in the Star Wars films including canon. 2. Both Logan and Morrison are more than willing to act in the film and have been interested in joining this project since the film's announcement plans to the public since 2012. Maori actors that bare a resemblance of the two actors would also be acceptable. 3. With the merchandising in toys, action figures, video games, and others... why create a new facial sculpt when you can just use the same ones as Morrison and Logan. It would save more time to create merchandise than you would a new actor if the decision came to it. Phile readers, please write a letter to Lucasfilm Ltd. LLC Kathleen Kennedy to cast Temuera Morrison or Daniel Logan as Boba Fett for a Star Wars spin-off movie. Thank you.

Shit, when you do write that letter don't mention me. I work for Disney. Haha.

Okay, today's pheatured guest... I bet you didn't think there would be one... is a good friend and lead singer and co-founder of the great pop band Strawberry Blondes Forever whose latest single "Goodbye Loon" is available on iTunes, CDBaby and Amazon. Please welcome back to the Phile my good friend... Dan Nowicki.

Me: Dan, my man, welcome back to the Phile! How have you been?

Dan: Very busy with work. I am operation lead and lead repairman for a FAA repair station. Three years ago the FAA was going to shut it down but three of us stepped up and saved it. The other two have moved on and I am stuck with the duties myself.

Me: I have to admit, when I was trying decide who I wanted to have here as a guest for this anniversary entry I thought of you pretty much right away, Dan. In the eight years I have been interviewing people on the Phile and the 10 years I had this stupid little blog I met some cool people but you I have to admit are one of the coolest. Not only is your nickname Fogdan... named after my dad's band Foghat (which we will talk about in a minute) but we actually worked on a project together. When I first interviewed you, did you ever think one day you would be working on a music project with me and be on the Phile numerous times?

Dan: Music project with you? No, I thought it was cool the son of Lonesome Dave wanted to interview me... As for how long this would last? Knowing you... a long time. I remember your first blog...

Me: The Delphi forums one. Yeah, that was a long time ago. I think you have been on every anniversary entry, Dan, is that right?

Dan: I think so. I am older now and it is hard. To remember.

Me: So, are you still based in Colorado?

Dan: Si.

Me: So, how has the state changed since they legalized pot? Do you see much difference?

Dan: Like dude, It’s like... No difference. Same old same old. People say they are high so that’s why they did that. Chances are they were high before but now it is legal for HOME USE not public.

Me: Alright, so, for the Christmas entry this year I interviewed Roger Earl from Foghat... did you read the interview? What did you think?

Dan: I did. But I missed it as at first. Good interview. A lot of it I had known from before.

Me: Did you learn anything new?

Dan: Not really, I heard the same story from Rod.

Me: In 2015 was the 40th anniversary of "Slow Ride." Do you remember where you were when you first heard that song? 

Dan: I was in the car with my stepdad going somewhere and he said, "What the hell are listening to? That shit will rot your brain. Not that you have any to spare. You will never amount to anything listening to that shit." Thank you WIOT FM 104.7 Toledo’s HOME FOR ROCK N ROLL. I guess he was right, I'm a piece of shit... LOL.

Me: I think I asked you this before, but what is your favorite Foghat song or album?

Dan: It changes with my moods, I have been playing the shit out of "Zig Zag Walk"...

Me: I think SBF needs to cover said song, what do you think?

Dan: I think SBF needs to stay as far away from that. I do not want people comparing you to your dad. That's why our stuff does not sound like that.

Me: Okay, so, let's talk about SBF or Strawberry Blondes Forever... we just had a new single out called "Goodbye Loon." I know what that song is about as I wrote the lyrics, but do you know what it's about, Dan?

Dan: Like any song you make it your own. I think of things that are going on now and going on before and it fits. What the hell are people thinking???

Me: What made you decide to make it an acoustic song? I think it works pretty well.

Dan: I felt that it just fit and I went with it.

Me: So, I sent you some ideas for the artwork and you chose the angels pic... what made you decide on that one?

Dan: That one caught my eye. If you like it roll with it, if not you just pull your hair out.

Me: The people I wrote about and you song about... the Colorado Batman shooter, the Boston marathon bombers and such won't be seeing angels... in hindsight they should be devils on the cover. Haha.

Dan: Yep.

Me: Alright, so hopefully next year we will release the second SBF album but you recently said you are gonna stop making music. What?! That means the end of SBF. Why are you gonna quit making music, Dan?

Dan: I am just burned out on everything. Work has got me so down that I am just not having fun at anything. I even quit playing hockey. I will get back to it. I have something in the works to fix that...

Me: You don't think it's fun anymore?

Dan: It is fun when I get around to playing.

Me: I hope you change your mind, Dan. Anyway, how many songs did I send you for the new album?

Dan: I still have to figure that out. My iMac died and it was only 4 years old and they labeled it as VINTAGE and do not support it any more. Thank you, Apple... I lost most of my files and my mixing plugin’s and lost interest in trying to get them back. I think that is the big reason why I stopped making music. With work kicking my ass also I have no time for it. Like I said I am working on it...

Me: I was pissed as I wanted to release a second Christmas song this year but didn't get around to getting it to you sooner. Maybe this year. What do you think?

Dan: A hell, yes. We both had things go on this year and we will get back to it...

Me: Alright, Dan, as before on past anniversary entries I had you on, do you have any questions for me?

Dan: Yes, This ones from "WKRP" which by the way the "Stone Blue" album cover was outside of the DJ’s bullpen. If a guy kisses a girl that used to be a guy, what does that make the guy that kissed the girl that used to be a guy? LOL.

Me: Ummmm.... I'm not sure. Moving on... Thanks again for being a cool collaborator and friend and being a big part of the Phile. Mention where you can get the SBF music and I look forward to working on the new album with you in 2016. Keep rocking, my friend!

Dan: You can get our music at iTunes, Amazon, CDBaby or any online retailer. It has been great working with you and we will keep going. I will get my head out of my ass soon...

Me: Good!

Holy shit, that was a long entry. I knew it would be. Before I wrap this thing up, I have to say that over the years people have asked me why I do this blog, take so much time with it. well, it is fun... sometimes, but it's like therapy, especially in the last few years. when I had my accident it helped me, with my personal problems last few years it helped me... it's hard to explain why. I guess I always wanted an outlet and this blog lets me have one. The main thing is I met so many cool people, got to learn about so many cool bands and musicians, and artists and authors that I might not of heard of or known about otherwise. I don't know how many more years I'll be doing this thing... I am guessing about four more at least. And I thank you, my readers, that makes this thing really worthwhile. Anyway, it's late and past my bedtime. Haha. Thanks to Laird Jim, Jeff Trelewicz, Mason Mellinger, Dan Nowicki and yourselves. The Phile will be back Sunday with Phile Alum Kyle Carey. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

1 comment:

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