Sunday, January 10, 2016

Pheaturing Phile Alum Kyle Carey


Hey there, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? Did you guys play the Powerball? I did... I got two tickets. I amy to have just enough money to be able to decide for myself if money solves everything. If I won the Powerball I'd still keep my job so that I could still be insufferably obnoxious until I'm fired. actually, I don't need to win the lottery to destroy my life in a shameful haze of fiscal irresponsibility. Anyway, good luck to you if you played. No one won yet. Okay, let's continue.
A new study found that attractive female students earn higher grades than their unattractive female peers. The study was conducted by Rey Hernández-Julián and Christina Peters, who are economics professors at Metropolitan State University of Denver. They used volunteers (who were not students or professors) to rate the attractiveness of students from their college I.D. cards. After rating attractiveness, they then examined 168,092 course grades awarded to those students. For female students, an increase of one standard deviation in attractiveness was associated with a 0.024 increase in grade (on a 4.0 scale). For male students, looks did not have a significant effect on grades. So basically it's a terrifying combination of gender inequality and double standards.
The worst news from the results is that the attractiveness gap in grades appears to result more from lower grades for less attractive women than from higher grades for the most attractive women. It is important to note that this is a single study that has not been replicated, so its results are not necessarily found at all colleges and universities. And it's no reason to throw shade at college students; plenty of them are thoughtful, selfless people regardless of their looks. The most questionable part of the study is rating attractiveness from student I.D. cards. Most students show their I.D. pictures as part of a contest to determine who looks the worst, since blurriness, resting bitch face, and having a hangover tend to be pretty common in any student I.D. picture.
In Hyannis, Massachusetts on Thursday, 65-year-old James Anderson was arrested for trying to steal about $10,000 worth of gold jewelry from a K-Mart. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you darn kids! And your darn selfies! And your darn hats about selfies! When Anderson was pulled over by police, he was still wearing the same bold statement beanie he had on in the surveillance video from K-Mart...


He should've at least switched to a hat that said "IT WASN'T ME." Anderson was placed under arrest, but the crime wasn't exactly a surprise to the police. According to the police department's press release (which puts Anderson's last name in all caps like it's the title of a major motion picture): "ANDERSON has 78 adult arraignments in Massachusetts, consisting primarily of Breaking & Entering, Larcenies, Shoplifting, and narcotics charges." Hopefully all crimes were performed while wearing on-trend headgear.
The White House officially responded to a petition to pardon Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey, whose trials are featured in the Netflix documentary "Making a Murderer." The petition requested that President Obama issue a full pardon to both men. The documentary has received considerable attention in the national press, and spawned a series of hilarious reactions on Twitter. The White House officially responds to petitions that receive 100,000 signatures within 30 days. While it is impressive that the petition garnered enough signatures so quickly, the response from The White House explains that the president can only pardon individuals charged with federal crimes, and the cases from "Making a Murderer" are state cases... "This clemency authority empowers the President to exercise leniency towards persons who have committed federal crimes. Under the Constitution, only federal criminal convictions, such as those adjudicated in the United States District Courts, may be pardoned by the President. In addition, the President's pardon power extends to convictions adjudicated in the Superior Court of the District of Columbia and military court-martial proceedings. However, the President cannot pardon a state criminal offense. Since Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey are both state prisoners, the President cannot pardon them. A pardon in this case would need to be issued at the state level by the appropriate authorities." Looks like everyone who signed the petition didn't pay attention in their social studies classes when the differences between state and federal government were explained. After binge-watching "Making a Murderer," it wouldn't hurt to watch a "Schoolhouse Rock" about the U.S. government.
Here's a story for the kids I think... "Fuller House," the revival of the late 80s/early 90s ABC sitcom "Full House," is coming to Netflix on Feb. 26, and "People" magazine has released some of the first stills from episodes. As you recall, "Full House" was a story of a widower (Bob Saget) who was so crippled by his own grief that he invited his best friend and brother-in-law to move in and help raise his kids. Now, those kids are all grown up, and their spouses are dying, too! Specifically, D.J. Tanner's husband, whose last name was conveniently "Fuller." So she's D.J. Tanner-Fuller now, her kids are Fullers, and the show is "Fuller House." Get it? Good. This comedy is also sparked by her horrific grief, after which she invites her sister Stephanie and annoying best friend Kimmy Gibbler to help raise the little Fullers. It's a generational monomyth they're doomed to repeat, like Wuthering Heights. "People that are huge fans of "Full House" will find that sort of familiar thing with the characters that they loved before," says Jodie Sweetin, who plays Stephanie Tanner (and has probably spent the last twenty years in a perpetual hell of fans asking her to say "How rude!" to them), "But I think at the same time, we bring a real modern feel to it and don't try to recreate the '80s family sitcom."​
John Boyega, beloved star of the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens, modeled for stock photos before he was a famous actor. He spent the last few weeks traveling around the world for premieres, and steering clear of ignorant audience members who thought the cast was too diverse. Actors have to work before they make it big, just like Mark Ruffalo acted in a 1980s Clearasil commercial. And Boyega was humorously adding diversity to marketing materials for American universities even though he's British...


That picture is for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, where all the multi-cultural students from the U.K. dream of going to school in the United States. Here's another pic of the diversity gang keeping it real around campus...


There's no word on how that ad did for student recruitment at the university, but Boyega did weigh in on the modeling work and what he did with the money... Boyega used that sweet stock photography money for shoes. After the eighth episode of Star Wars is released, he'll have plenty more money for all the shoes he desires. Speaking of John Boyega... there's rumors that his character Finn and Poe Dameron are gay and boyfriends. I didn't think so, until I saw this actual photo from the movie...


I love BB-8... So, I mentioned the Powerball and told you I played... well, guess who else played?


He has two tickets to paradise. Haha. On Friday's 10th anniversary entry I joked that Maz Kanata from Star Wars: The Force Awakens looks like Sophia from "The Golden Girls." Then I saw a promo pic from that TV show and I was like I knew it...


Thank you for wing my friend. Hahaha. So, I was in a bookshop the other day and I happened to walk by the children's book section and saw a book that kinda caught my eye...

Really? I don't think I get it. Why is there a piece of poop dropping outta a cloud and bouncing off an old man's plate? Why is he trying to catch it? I am so confused. Well, as you know this year it's the Phile's 10th year and this month, which os the anniversary month, I am showing you pics of actual people looking at the Phile. Just go with it. So, here's another one...


I wonder what he is grinning about. And why is his laptop so white? And doesn't he look stoned? Sheesh. Too many questions in this bit. Alright, so, there's so many blogs on the Internet now... a lot more then there were ten years ago. There are billions of blogs. But not all have 856 entries and have been around for ten years... but once in awhile on the Phile I like to pheature another blog in a pheature I call...


Today's blog that will go into the Hall of Fame... actually, it should be Hall of Phame is...
suzies-yarnie-stuff.blogspot.com. Take a look...



Man, no offense to Suzi but that looks like the most boring blog ever. I don't understand... and this is her last entry posted March of last year? Sheesh. Okay, well, if you're interested go to suzies-yarnie-stuff.blogspot.com and tell her the Phile sent you.



Okay, so, all this month I am showing you Mindphucks that you readers have sent in. Friday's one no one got, not even me. Let's see how this one goes...


HA! I got it. Let me know if you do. It's really hard. Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's...


Top Phive Startling Similarities Between The Bundy Family And The Skywalker Family
5. Adheres to a vague, outlandish philosophy.
4. Is a perpetual thorn in the government's side.
3. Dysfunctionally is passed from generation to generation.
2. Its biggest fans are obsessive/borderline psychotic.
And the number one thing similar between the Bundy family and the Skywalker family is...
1. Appears to be from another planet.



The 43rd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


Author and Phile Alum Jim Korkis will be the guest on the Phile this coming Friday. Okay, so, something happened in Brooklyn, New York I think it was that a friend of the Phile wants to say something about. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...


Happy Sunday, phuckerz. Last night in a Brooklyn park, an 18-year-old girl was walking with her father when they were set upon by five thugs. They pointed a gun at the father and told him to leave... he did so, leaving his young daughter with five men... one of whom was holding a gun. The father returned after calling the police and waiting for them to meet him where he was hiding. By that time, the girl had been gang raped by all five men. The men got away before the father arrived with police. I don't know about any of you... but there is NO way on earth I would have left my child alone with them. They would have had to kill me... something doesn't seem right about this story. Just sayin'.



Chick-fil-A
Chick-fil-A is a family-owned restaurant famous for staying closed on Sundays and to any new ideas about the nuclear family.



Today's guest is a Phile Alum who has a new video out for the song "Let Them All Be Reprise" from her "North Star" album. Please welcome back to the Phile... the lovely Kyle Carey!


Me: Kyle, welcome back for the Phile's 10th anniversary month. How are you?

Kyle: Happy anniversary, Jason! I'm good thanks... excited to see what 2016 has in store.

Me: I wanted to have some of my favorite Phile Alum as guests throughout January and you are definitely one of my favorites. I hope you like being on the Phile, Kyle. You do, right?

Kyle: I certainly do! You have some of the most unique questions I've come across as of yet, and I expect you to maintain that record.

Me: We'll see. Haha. We talked about having your dad on the Phile and I will have him here soon... he's an author, right?

Kyle: He is. Though he writes in all different genres the four books he's published to date are non-fiction. The first is about the Yupik people of southern Alaska, the second the fishing industry in Maine, the third sturgeon and the fourth about a shooting in northern N.H. back in the late 90s.

Me: What's the name of his book? Let's plug it here.

Kyle: The name of his new book is "In the Evil Day" and it's fantastic. I can say with utter conviction that I'm not biased in that regard. It's a beautiful piece of work.

Me: Here it is...


Me: Alright, so, let's talk about your music... it's very original. Explain to the readers that don't know what your music is like.

Kyle: I call my music 'Gaelic Americana' in that it's a mix of American folk (Appalachian, bluegrass) and Celtic (Irish, Scottish) with a focus on songs in Scottish Gaelic... as I speak the language. I record and perform mostly original songs... again with an Americana/Celtic flavor, and try to show through both my recordings and performances... the kinship between the American folk and Celtic traditions. 

Me: Did you ever think about making an album of different type of music like country or rock?

Kyle: I like bringing different influences into my music... for example in my latest album I introduced electric guitar, and my next will be recorded in Louisiana (so who knows in which direction that will go!), but I like the niche I've found, and the mixing of genres that's become my trademark. No one else does what I do, and I think that's a good place to be as an artist.

Me: How old were you when you started singing and playing guitar, Kyle?

Kyle: My parents say I started to sing around the same time I started to talk, so probably around two, but the guitar came a little later. I had an interest in learning when I was around twelve, but I didn't return to it seriously until I was sixteen.

Me: I am not sure I asked you this before but what was the first song you learnt to play?

Kyle: Oh man... that's a good question! I think my dad tried to teach me "Mary Has A Little Lamb" but that didn't stick. I think it was a Fiona Apple song... though I can't remember the name.

Me: You have a new video out for the song "Let Them All Be Reprise" from the "North Star" album. Let all who be? What is that song about?

Kyle: The song is actually called 'Let Them Be All Reprise' and when I wrote it I had the mother's of men in mind. Mother's who saw their songs go off to war, go to sea, and go down in the coal mines. It's addressed to all the mothers who lost their sons in those dangerous vocations.

Me: I am an idiot. Haha. So, who is that lucky guy you're marrying in the video, Kyle? I have  apic from the video shoot here...


Kyle: He's actually my director Adrian Garber's boyfriend. Adrian was also in the video... as the woman in the black veil, and her partner Paul was a great sport to jump on board as our sacrificial lamb.

Me: That is a wedding ceremony, right? Is that the kinda wedding ceremony you want?

Kyle: I doubt I'll ever get married. Not that I haven't dreamed of it... I'd say lots of folks do, but I'm too busy with my career to have time for a relationship. It's not something I've ever prioritized, and I doubt that will change.

Me: I thought you were gonna end up in the lake but that poor guy went in instead. Did he like that? 

Kyle: Ha ha, well it was a really hot day... so I'd say myself and the other crew and extras were a bit jealous of him to be honest!

Me: Where was the video filmed, Kyle?

Kyle: The video was filmed in the town I grew up in... Sandwich, NH and most of the extras were local girls whose parents I know. Two of the extras... Willow and Raven (who paint Paul's face in black) I used to babysit believe it or not! It was really special to return home to make it, and amidst so much support and positive energy.

Me: I wanna be the lucky guy in one of your videos... can I?

Kyle: Sure! I'm always looking for another guy to jilt.

Me: You always make beautiful videos. Do you like making videos, recording or playing live the best?

Kyle: To be honest, the actual filming of a music video can be quite tedious. It involves a lot of standing around, touch-ups and more often than not uncomfortable clothing and positions. Add hunger on top of that, and it can make for a long day. Performing I love, but it can be stressful in that there are elements outside your control... the sound for example, or the ambience of the room. Recording is where I feel like I can fully be an artist... I love the challenge of making each take better than the last, and getting lost in the music. It's a cathartic experience and I always look forward to the creative exchange between my producer and various collaborators.

Me: So, I know you do shows in the states and in Europe... how do you compare the audiences? 

Kyle: Well, on a surface level I'd say as a general rule the audiences in the states are a bit more expressive. I've found that Dutch, English, and Belgian audiences can be a bit reserved, though after a show they can be forthcoming with their enthusiasm. But, in terms of they're being audiences at all... I have found a larger audience for my music in Europe. The U.S. has a strong celebrity culture, while Europe allows for varying levels of recognition for artists. It's not something I complain about... it's allowed me the opportunity to explore more of the world and for that I'm grateful.

Me: Where are you living now? Didn't you recently move to New York?

Kyle: I did! I'm living in Brooklyn and I absolutely love it. There's a vibrancy there like no where else and I've made some great professional connections. I hope to stay in New York for at least a couple more years.

Me: So, have you been writing new music, Kyle?

Kyle: I have. Well, only just recently to be honest. I don't really write until I have a deadline, and a third album is a wonderful excuse to do so. I plan to release my third CD, 'The Art of Forgetting" in 2017. It will be produced by Dirk Powell and recorded at his studio in Louisiana.

Me: Okay, so being this is the 10th anniversary of the Phile I am asking my guests where they were 10 years ago. Where were you ten years ago, Kyle, what were you doing?

Kyle: Oh gosh, I guess ten years ago I was still in college! I would have just transferred to Skidmore College, and started working at the local folk coffeehouse in Saratoga Springs, N.Y... Caffe Lena. It would have been around this time that I would have started really getting into folk and Celtic music, and writing the songs that would become my first album "Monongah".

Me: So, what are your plans for 2016?

Kyle: I've got the Celtic Connections Festival in Glasgow to play in a few weeks, then another six week tour of Europe and the U.K. in the spring. After that, I'm going to spend the summer finishing the songs for "The Art of Forgetting" and planning my Kickstarter campaign. Lots of exciting stuff on the horizon!

Me: Great. Thanks so much for being back on the Phile. Tell your dad I'll have him here soon, and I'll have you back when your next project comes out. Take care.

Kyle: Thanks Jason! Happy 2016 to you!





There you go, that about does to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Laird Jim and Kyle Carey. Okay, so, the Phile has a weird schedule this week so pay attention, kids. The Phile will be back on Tuesdsy with Phile Alum Lee Negin, then on Thursday it's Phile Alum Jessica Meuse and on Friday Phile Alum Jim Korkis. Write that all down. Haha. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.




































Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker




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