Hey there, welcome to the Phile for a Wednesday. How are you? Let's start with a story about a teen being in the hospital after the Duct Tape Challenge went horribly wrong. A 14-year-old boy may lose vision in one eye after playing the Duct Tape Challenge... a "game" in which someone is tightly wrapped in duct tape and then filmed trying to escape as fast as possible... giving parents of teens everywhere another fucking thing to worry about. After Washington teen Skylar Fish was wrapped in duct tape by his so-called friends earlier this month, Fish lost his balance and slammed his head into a window, causing a brain aneurysm, severe head injuries, and damage to his left eye socket. And why would anyone do this, you're wondering? For the most important reason of all: Internet stardom. Videos of the duct tape challenge are racking up millions of views on YouTube, because it's that easy to become moderately famous these days. Just think... you too can become an Internet celebrity and all you have to do is combine the optics of being kidnapped with the threat of physical harm that comes with being kidnapped.
The Game: rapper, actor, Dr. Dre protégé, philanthropist, and shameless humble bragger. In an Instagram post announcing his $500,000 donation towards the relief effort in Flint, Michigan, Game not-so-subtly, probably-not-on-accident included the available balance in his charity's checking account. Just a casual $13,274,585. The Game AKA Jayceon Taylor also fired some shots at the paltry $10,000 donations of the not-an-alcoholic Jimmy Fallon and the still-exciting Madonna. Game donated $1 million worth of water bottles to go along with the $500,000. Good for him. And bravo to anyone who's not embarrassed to show their bank account numbers, but kudos to everyone who averts their eyes from the bank statement at the end of a $40 ATM transaction, too.
More than a dozen Tulsa, OK high school students smuggled a banner painted with the words "Trump Makes America Hate Again" into a Donald Trump rally last Wednesday and managed to snap a picture before Trump had them removed. One of the teenagers hid the banner in his shoe before entering the Mabee Center rally. Trump noticed the protest banner and had security remove the teens, as his supporters booed them, ripped the banner out of their hands, and then stomped on it. That'll take care of those pesky teenagers with their liberal, non-racist views! Kieran King-Sellars, a sophomore at Booker T. Washington High School, was one of the students who came up with the idea to protest at the rally. His parents told him he wasn't allowed to miss school, but he went to the rally anyway, because he sees Trump as a racist and was upset he was coming to Tulsa. He got grounded for two weeks (not because his parents support Trump but because he disobeyed them) but he thinks it was worth it. Noah Miracle, a Booker T. Washington High School junior, said the group went to the rally because they've learned that it's important to stand up for their beliefs. He told "Tulsa World," “We’ve really had the idea of freedom of speech drilled into our heads in school since a young age, so this was really an opportunity to apply these things to the real world." "Get him out of here," Trump told security guards. "Get outta here, kid. See, he wants to be politically correct. This isn't the old days… But I like it, I like it, I hope they do a couple more today, because the only way those cameras, which are crooked as hell, will ever turn to show this packed arena, with 15,000 people, is if we have a protestor, right? So I love protestors." There you have it... Trump loves protestors! Do with that information what you will.
Actor Joseph Fiennes, a white guy, was tapped to play King of Pop Michael Jackson in an upcoming movie, something that is causing many heads to get scratched today because Fiennes is a white British guy and Michael Jackson is African-American (albeit, yes, a pale African-American because Jackson had a skin disorder). It's like they saw a picture of Fiennes' brother Ralph dressed as Lord Voldemort and were like, "Oh yeah, that looks right, does this guy have any relatives with hair?" The movie is based on the near-legendary road trip that Jackson supposedly took to "escape from New York" after 9/11 with Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando, which, mind you, is an amazing concept for a movie... something that makes this tone-deaf casting all the sadder. Here's hoping producers make this right in the best possible way: by casting a black actress as Elizabeth Taylor.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg posted a picture of him swimming with his infant daughter, and while she is an adorable billionaire baby, you know why you're really here: to check out Mark Zuckerberg's shirtless, pale, freckly, patchy-haired chest. Well, here you go, you sick freak...
Yes, Zuckerberg can be topless on Facebook but your breastfeeding photos might get flagged for nudity. Sorry.
Yesterday I told the story of the people behind this health campaign that really should have consulted Urban Dictionary first. Here's another one of their ad campaign posters...
The fish makes it even grosser. There is a new movie that came out last Friday called Dirty Grandpa... I didn't wanna see it until I saw this poster for it...
Now I really wanna see it. Speaking of Star Wars, yesterday I told you the story of how Adam Driver looks like a cat... or vice versa. And then I showed you a picture of a monkey of some sort looking Mark Hamill. Well, there's another animal that looks like someone from Star Wars...
Hahahaha. That's so stupid. That as stupid as this...
Get it? Okay, so, all this month I have been showing you pictures of what people look like reading the Phile as it's the 10th anniversary. Here we go...
Bet they're trying to figure out a Mindphuck. For the next few weeks I am also showing you pictures showing you why presidential candidates really shouldn't pose with kids. Like this one of Jeb holding baby for the first time...
"Is this how you do it?!" Haha. Good job, Jeb. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Things Donald Trump Will be Doing During Tomorrow's Debate
5. Binge-watching "House of Cards" to pick up a few governing tips.
4. Prank-calling George Pataki to ask of he'd be his running mate.
3. Reviewing "Re-elect Trump in 2020" bumper stickers.
2. Giving his hair a much-needed night off.
And the number one thing Trump will be doing during the debate tomorrow is...
1. Spouting empty rhetoric and lowest-common-denominator insults from the comfort of his own home.
Okay, all this month for the Phile's 10th anniversary I have been showing you some Mindphucks you readers have sent in, and I have to say, they have not been popular. Have of them we can't figure out. Let's see if today's is any better...
I have no idea what I am looking at. Some kinda video game apparently but I don't get it. Alright, so, as you know, I live in Florida and there's some strange things that happen here in this state that happen no where else in the world. That's why I have a pheature called...
Twitter user Zealot may have left his job at a Florida Burger King, but he still loves the fast food chain's offerings. When he left work for the last time, Zealot took with him all the chicken nuggets he could grab.
Twitter quickly rallied around the "hero," who has rightly earned a place in the pantheon of those who quit their jobs in epic fashion. In response to claims that Zealot stole from BK, he pointed out that he only swiped a few dollars' worth of nuggets. "I took $5 worth of chicken nuggets / let that sink in," he tweeted. If that's the case, were those really all the chicken nuggets at that Burger King? Zealot's stash looks more like the amount a few people would order. Or one very hungry/stoned person. Zealot hasn't shared the exact number of nuggets he has. He's too busy basking in his Internet success. "I'm a god," he tweeted. At least as long as the chicken nugget supply lasts.
The 44th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Phile Alum and author will be a guest on the Phile on Sunday.
Okay, today's guest is a Phile Alum whose new single "How A Heart Breaks" is available on iTunes. Please welcome back to the Phile, one of my favorite guests... Holly Elle!
Me: Holly, welcome back to the Phile. How are you?
Holly: It's great to be back thank you! I'm doing very well, I hope you are too.
Me: I'm okay. Okay, so, this month is the Phile's 10th anniversary... actually all year, but this month I want to have some of my favorite guests back on the Phile. And yes, you are one of them! Do you do a lot interviews, Holly?
Holly: Congratulations again that's very exciting! I do a fair amount of interviews and you are one of my favorite interviewers as well. I love the elements of humor and fun, those are a few of my favorite things.
Me: That's good. What is the craziest interview question any one has asked you?
Holly: There hasn't been anything too crazy, but I like it when the questions are inventive and different, it makes it more enjoyable for me and more interesting for everyone.
Me: I have to be honest and tell you that your interviews are very popular here and I get emails from guys asking about you. Do you get lots of emails like that?
Holly: That's awesome to hear that they're popular. You seriously get emails from guys? What are they asking? Now I'm very curious...
Me: Yeah, I do. Next time you're here I'll ask you some questions sent in. At your shows do you get guys hitting on you?
Holly: I'm noticing a theme here... no I actually don't, I don't get hit on a lot in general. Discuss.
Me: Haha. we'll discuss at a later time. Okay, you have a new single out called "How a Heart Breaks." Did you write that song?
Holly: Yes, I did. And that next level you're hearing is production superhuman Isaac Hasson.
Me: Will you be doing a video for it?
Holly: Right now there are no plans in the works for a video, but never say never!
Me: So, have you had your heart broken recently?
Holly: Wow, we're just cutting right to the good stuff aren't we? I hate to get all mysterious artist on you, but I don't like to directly reveal the meaning of my songs. I want people to listen to the music and draw their own conclusions about what it means to them.
Me: That's fair enough. You're originally from Canada, right? What part again?
Holly: I am! I'm from Calgary, Alberta. Yeehaw!
Me: You live in Nashville now, right? How are both places different? I guess in a lot of ways.
Holly: Yes, I've lived in Nashville for a while now and I love it. The weather is more mild and it's a lower cost of living. Not to perpetuate the odd stereotype of Canadians living in igloos, but yeah it's warmer in general here. I think most of the differences in people I notice are northern vs southern, as opposed to Canadian vs American. But southern people are cool as hell. I'm working on converting to Southernism.
Me: Do you get to go back to Canada often?
Holly: I used to barely get back there once a year but now I've been heading back more often. I'm so glad because I get to see my niece and nephew more.
Me: How long have you been in Nashville now?
Holly: I've been here 8 years. The awesomeness of Nashville is no longer our little secret, a lot of people figured it out and are moving here.
Me: Okay, back to your music... are you working on an album or EP? It's better just to do singles, right?
Holly: Yeah, I'm all about that single life right now. That's not to say I'll never put out a project again, but I'm feeling singles for a while. I think it makes more sense for the way people are consuming music right now. Especially as an independent artist, it's freed me up to focus on the music more.
Me: You do a lot of shows; do you like recording or performing better?
Holly: You have the best questions, no fluff, I dig that. I love both but there is something about being in the studio that really gets me buzzing. If I'm in the zone in the studio 12 hours could feel like the blink of an eye, and I'm having so much FUN. Those are the indicators that you're really where you're supposed to be.
Me: You are very, very photogenic, which I am sure I told you before. I love the pic on the singles cover... how many pics did you go through to pick out that one, Holly?
Holly: Thank you, you're very kind. I did a photo shoot with a local guy named Brandon Oursler, what you're seeing is the evidence that he does great work. I got about 600 photos from the shoot, and I set out to pick out 20 that I loved, which was tough because there were so many I wanted. From that 20, I chose this album cover. I've done a lot of shoots with a lot of different people, sometimes you struggle to come out with one good shot.
Me: Oh, by the way, when is the "Holy Hell" EP coming out? Hahahaha. Explain the story about that, Holly. I'm a genius, right?
Holly: You will never forget about that will you? LOL. I recall you liked the way Holly Elle/Holy Hell sounded. It just has a nice ring. You're obviously a genius. But we can't force these things. Maybe it's not even an album name... that sounds like a great byline for my "Rolling Stone" cover story...
Me: Don't give them credit. You went to Belmont University in Nashville, right? How was that? What did you study there?
Holly: Belmont is a great school with a gorgeous campus. I studied music business there. I didn't spend a lot of time on campus because it was my second degree so I was kind of over college life, I really came to Nashville to further my career.
Me: I re-read your bio and saw that you played poker... and I don't remember ever asking you about you playing poker before. So, I'll ask you. How long have you been playing?
Holly: I've been playing for many years. My brother and mother (she's the ultimate card shark) taught me how to play Texas Hold'em, and then I taught my sorority sisters in college back in Canada, and we would play.
Me: Do you play for money?
Holly: Now, now, Jason, gambling is illegal in Tennessee. When I'm home or in Vegas? Hell yeah.
Me: Ever play strip poker? I would lose in a heartbeat!
Holly: That's what I would play with my sorority sisters! Right before the pillow fight. Dear "Penthouse"... No, I don't think I have actually. You know I'm really very shy and demure.
Me: Hahaha. Me too. So, have you been doing many shows recently, Holly?
Holly: Lately I have, I'm focusing on performing more and setting up some tour dates soon.
Me: You know you still gotta come down to Florida to visit. It's not far from Nashville you know.
Holly: Where in Florida are you again? Please say Key West, that's one of my favorite places.
Me: Right outside Orlando. Okay, so, I'm asking my Alum guests what they were doing 10 years ago... what were you doing? Do you have a pic of yourself back then?
Holly: Hmm let me think. I was in college in Winnipeg, Manitoba freezing my ass off and singing opera. No, there were no cameras back then.
Me: Smart ass. Ha! You were making music then, right? Was that when you did the Klatuu tribute album?
Holly: Hell, yeah, I was making music. Klaatu tribute was 2004 I think. Around that time I had just finished my first EP. I was also in a country cover band. Which was so weird because I'm not a country singer and I had to learn a lot of the songs. At the time I had no idea I would end up in Nashville. Neat, huh?
Me: Yeah. Alright, so, you know the more music you make the more I wanna interview you and pheature you, right?
Holly: I'm cool with that. Always leave 'em wanting more.
Me: Okay, so, go ahead and mention your website, Holly.
Me: You will come back on the Phile when the next release comes out, right?
Holly: Totally. Don't get bored of me now.
Me: Alright, take care and continued success. And visit me!!!! LOL.
Holly: Thank you so much, same to you. Who knows where the upcoming tour will take me...
That about wraps this entry up. Thanks to Holly for another great interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday with author and Phile Alum Jeremy Croston. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker