Are you ready? Are you ready for the Peverett Phile, the web's most updated Phile, and it's Sunday! Why on earth am I updating on Sunday? Well, today I went and got my fourth tattoo. I couldn't wait to tell ya'll. I'll be posting pics on the Myspace site soon. That is my last tat that I planned, but you never know. Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is out on the campaign trail, and she attended a rally in Wisconsin. The Alaska governor said she was thrilled to visit Wisconsin, because she’s never been to the Deep South. Oprah Winfrey is in the middle of a scandal, because she is refusing to have Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin on her show. The friction started because Palin said if she was elected she’d be the most powerful woman in the country, and Oprah said, “The hell you will.” John Edwards announced that in order not to be a distraction, he is canceling all public appearances until the election is over. However, Edwards said he will continue to make all of his private appearances. Jamie Lynn Spears may break up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her with a 28-year-old woman. When she heard about it Spears said, “That’s my grandmother’s age!” Sources in North Korea say that dictator Kim Jong Il is very sick. He may have to shift power to one of his three sons. Still, there’s an out-of-the-box chance he’ll pick Sarah Palin. Boy George says he’s written a song supporting Barack Obama. That will help Obama lock up the critical 1980s gay pop-star vote. They’re having trouble picking jurors in O.J. Simpson’s armed robbery trial. The judge says they want a jury of O.J.’s peers, but it’s hard to find anyone else who got away with double murder.
A PEVERETT PHILE TOP TEN LIST
From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is another top ten list...
Top Ten Signs You're Talking to a Fake Kim Jong-Il
10. Doesn't smile when you mention torturing dissidents
9. He's 6'5'', 250 pounds
8. Introduces himself by saying, "Hi, I'm Gary -- uh, crap, I mean Kim Jong-Il"
7. He seems Kimmy and Jongy, but not quite Illy
6. Your wife recognizes him as the Kim Jong-Il look-alike who stripped at her bachelorette party
5. Keeps using the phrase, "Chillax, bro"
4. He pays for drinks -- honestly, folks, when's the last time that man picked up a check?
3. Won't shut up about the new "90210"
2. He's only half insane
And the number one sign you're talking to a fake Kim Jong-Il...
1. Keeps referring to himself as "just a hockey mom"
SEPTEMBER 14TH IN HISTORY
Legendary dancer Isadora Duncan is killed in Nice, France when her long silk scarf gets tangled in the rear wheel of the convertible she's riding in. Her neck is broken and an artery severed. Some accounts have her thrown against the pavement and dragged for 100 feet. The freak accident occurs in full view of a number of friends.
Surgeons Walter Freeman and Egas Moniz perform America's first prefrontal lobotomy on a depressed, 63-year-old Kansas woman in Washington, D.C. They successfully create a lethargic dullard, and the duo hails the result for years to come as a medical triumph, despite the fact that two of their next twenty lobotomy subjects end as fatalities.
Grace Kelly, American-born princess of Monaco, dies after a high speed car crash the previous day. She and daughter Princess Stephanie were badly injured when their British Rover 3500 plunged into a ravine, tumbling 45 feet. In the official version of events, Grace suffered a mild stroke while driving; however, rumors persist that 17-year-old Princess Stephanie was actually behind the wheel.
I went and got my fourth tat.
David Foster Wallace: Finite jest.
In a combined effort to boost its box office receipts enough to become the highest-grossing film of all time (which it won't) and boost its awards profile enough to garner some Oscars (which it might), That Juggernaut Which We Call The Dark Knight will be re-released this coming January, according to The Hollywood Reporter. It's the month when the awards rush is high and the mainstream competition is low, and any chance to see it in the IMAX format (had ye missed it, for shame) should be relished regardless of the DVD's December arrival. And no, even if it doesn't best Titanic, director Christopher Nolan and the Brothers Warner are still looking at the cusp of a billion bucks worldwide. Yeah, so far as consolation prizes go, I've actually heard of worse. Hell, with numbers like that, maybe they could still sway Phillip Seymour Hoffman to climb aboard -- or at least help Michael Caine get his story straightened out...
Well, it's short, but that's Sunday's Phile. The Phile will be back next Thursday. I just want to thanks Rick at Ink Ink for doing a good job. Thanks for reading, spread the word not the turd.