Thursday, September 18, 2008

I'm The Guy Sarah Palin Sucked To Get The Nomination

Are you ready? Are you ready for the Peverett Phile, the web's most updated blog. It seems just like a few days ago I updated this thing. Today's question is: Do you think Barack Obama looks like Curious George? We already have one Curious George in the White House now. ABC just showed their two-hour Sarah Palin special. It was called “Extreme Makeover — Republican Party Edition.” Here’s a warm story I read: A firefighter revived a cat by giving it mouth to mouth. That’s probably the story I’d go with too. Saturday was International Chocolate Day. I used to dance under the name International Chocolate. John McCain and his wife Cindy stopped in for a visit with the ladies on “The View.” I don’t think it was the light, chatty experience the McCains were hoping for. At one point Whoopi Goldberg asked if she should worry about slavery making a comeback if he’s elected . . . he never did answer her. After "The View",  McCain went and taped an episode of Rachael Ray’s show. He did a recipe that was one Sarah Palin’s — spaghetti and moose balls. More facts surfacing about Sarah Palin’s background every day. Sarah Palin’s father says that they shoot 90 percent of the meat their family eats. The other 10 percent they hit with their pick-up truck. Republican strategist Karl Rove recently said that John McCain’s attack ads go too far and aren’t truthful. Then Rove said, "I’ve never been so proud.” Karl Rove said that John McCain’s attack ads on Barack Obama have gone too far. When Karl Rove says you’ve gone too far . . . that’s like Mel Gibson saying you’ve had too much to drink. It’s like Keith Richards telling Amy Winehouse to ease up on the drugs . . .
On Election Day, Ralph Nader will appear on the presidential ballot in only 45 states. Nader said, "This is disappointing; I wanted to embarrass myself in all 50 states.” President Bush is back from the hospital. He had a growth removed from his head. It wasn’t a health issue — the growth just wanted to distance itself from him. One of McCain’s advisers implied that John McCain helped invent the BlackBerry. He should have gone with something more believable like he helped invent fire or something. Barack Obama had a big night — Barbra Streisand threw a big fundraiser for the Democrats. The dinner cost $28 grand a plate. For an extra grand you were allowed to leave before she started singing. Nothing says I’m a man of the people like a star-studded dinner at a Beverly Hills hotel. The OJ Simpson trial started a few days ago. It was exciting for me, because I was worried that Logan would not get to experience his own OJ trial. This time he’s being charged with kidnapping and robbery involving some guys who tried to sell some memorabilia he owned. I think it was his collection of "Battlestar Galactica" figurines. That one's for you, Ron. This will distract us from the terrible news that we will all be jobless and homeless very soon. The Dow fell 504 points yesterday . . . I have no idea what that means, but apparently it’s really bad. On Wall Street, they’re calling it Black Monday, but John McCain was quick to point out that it’s Black Monday — not “old white” Monday. This just in: Someone was able to hack into Sarah Palin’s Yahoo! e-mail account, because she hadn’t taken the proper security measures. So it’s official — no one in the Palin family uses protection. And finally, President Bush met with the cast of the Broadway musical “The Lion King.” There was an awkward moment when Bush called Simba his favorite African leader.

THE PEVERETT PHILE TOP TEN LIST

From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...
Top Ten McCain/Palin Campaign Slogans
10. The Bridge To Nowhere Leads To Us
9. We Both Wear Support Hose
8. If You Like Regis & Kelly, You'll Love Us!
7. She's A Little Bit Country, He's A Little Bit Octogenarian
6. A Moose In Every Pot, A Car In All Seven Garages
5. The Choice Of Nine Out Of Ten Comedians
4. Lipstick You Can Believe In
3. Ailin' And Palin
2. Our VP Candidate Is Hotter Than Their VP Candidate
And the number one McCain/Palin slogan is 
1. She's Pro-Life, He's Near Death

R.I.P.

Norman Whitfield: It was the 16th of September ...

DISNEY'S AMERICA

Walt Disney Parks and Resorts on Thursday announced a new promotionto admit visitors free on their birthday next year. "Every guest gets in free to one of our parks on their birthday in 2009," Jay Rasulo, chairman of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts, said at a news conference in Manhattan. Visitors will have to show valid identification and proof of birthdate to qualify. Details are available at www.disneyparks.com, where birthday visits can be registered in advance. Mike Lynn, a professor of consumer behavior at Cornell University's School of Hotel Administration, said admitting guests free to the parks on their birthdays could very well make money.
"The only thing they lose is the revenue from those people whose birthdays it is who might have come anyway," he said. "Having an extra customer in the park doesn't cost them anything. Those people are still a benefit because they have to buy food and drinks, and their friends and family are accompanying them." The birthday offer is part of a larger Disney promotion announced Thursday called "What will you celebrate?" It includes a 30-city tour with public events featuring Disney costumed characters, beginning in Minneapolis on Sept. 25 and ending in Phoenix in February. Disney will also start running "What will you celebrate?" TV ads featuring kids blowing out candles and brides in limousines. In addition, the parks will offer buttons to wear that identify guests with phrases such as "Just Married," "Just Graduated," and "First Visit." "Our goal is to mark the special moments in your life in a way that your family will remember forever," Rasulo said. Peter Yesawich, a consultant on lifestyle trends, said at the Disney news conference that Americans often arrange vacations around personal milestones such as anniversaries and birthdays. He called the phenomenon "celebration vacations." Miley Cyrus, star of the Disney show "Hannah Montana," plans to celebrate her 16th birthday at Disneyland in Anaheim, Calif., Oct. 5. I will celebrate my birthday away from that place.

FLORIDA: AMERICA'S WANG

A truck carrying $187,000 worth of nickels crashed, killing one person and scattering the coins across an interstate. "It's shiny across the roadway," said Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Kim Miller after Wednesday morning's accident. "There are nickels in
the grass, across the interstate." The southbound lanes of I-95 in Brevard County on the state's central east coast were closed forseveral hours as authorities used Bobcats
and other heavy equipment to scoop up the coins. Miller said the coins were on their way from Philadelphia to the U.S. Treasury in Miami, where they were set to be distributed to Florida banks. The crash involved two tractor-trailers, WESH-TV reported. The truck carrying more than 3 million nickels, owned by IBI Secured Transport, rear-ended an Apex truck. The Apex truck hit ran off the road and hit
a guardrail. The truck carrying the money overturned, which killed the right front-seat passenger. The driver of the IBI truck was airlifted to a local hospital. The driver of the Apex truck was transported to Parrish Medical Center in Brevard County and was treated and released. The Secret Service and U.S. Treasury went to the scene to determine how to pick up the loose change "and to make sure nobody touches any
of the nickels," Miller said.

SEPTEMBER 18TH IN HISTORY

1931
The "Mukden Incident" occurs when Imperial Japanese troops occupying northern Manchuria blow up a portion of the railway near Mukden (now Shenyang), blame the destruction on Chinese saboteurs, and commence the annexation of Manchuria.
1932
24-year-old starlet Peg Entwhistle dives head first from the letter "H" of the HOLLYWOODLAND sign in Los Angeles. She is the first person to commit suicide at the landmark.
1970
A sleeping Jimi Hendrix dies in London from of a barbituate overdose when chunks of vomited tuna sandwich wind up in his lungs, causing him to choke.
1978
The four KISS members release their solo albums. Rock on!
1979
NBC television premieres "The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo", a spinoff of "BJ and the Bear". Claude Akins stars as Elroy P. Lobo, the slightly corrupt sheriff of Orly County, who faces his first misadventure in "The Day That Shark Ate Lobo."
1981
France abolishes capital punishment, relegating its noble guillotine to a museum. The machine had not seen active duty for four years.
1992
Two weeks after being outed in the New York weekly QW, attorney John Schlafly admits in an interview with the San Francisco Examiner that he is homosexual. This causes a certain amount of consternation for his mother, archconservativegay rights opponent Phyllis Schlafly.
1994
Vitas Gerulaitis is killed in his sleep in the guest cottage of a friend's Long Island estate. The professional tennis player dies from carbon monoxide poisoning, caused by a faulty propane swimming-pool heater.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF FACBOOK

2. Thou Shalt Not “Poke” Indiscriminately
Maybe I’m missing something here, but as far as I can tell, “poking” people serves absolutely no purpose other than prompting the person on the other side to “poke” you back, sparking off a potentially infinite spiral of pointlessness that makes everyone involved just a little bit dumber than they were when it started. Before you know it you’re installing apps that offer “pro” pokes, “office” pokes, and “sexy” pokes. “Indiscriminately” might not even be the right word here. How about “Thou Shalt Not ‘Poke’ EVER” or “Thou Shalt Not ‘Poke’ Because That Shit Is Completely Retarded And Pointless”?

CANNED LAUGHTER

Two newlyweds go on their honeymoon. As they start getting hot and heavy, the woman says, "Please be careful with me—I'm a virgin." The puzzled man replies, "But you've been married three times before." "I know," she says. "My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist and he just wanted to look at it. And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was—God, I miss him."

GEEK TALK

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Jeffery Erb and Robert Robinson Jr. have launched Framelight Productions with an eye to producing edgy comic and graphic novel adaptations. They already have options on Larry Hama's "Dr. Death with Kip and Muffy", Gary Reed's "Deadworld", Ralph Tedesco and Joe Tyler's "Sins of the Fallen", as well as their "1001 Arabian Nights". All of their productions aim to do one thing in particular -- involve the creator in all aspects of movie making. "We weren't the only producers wanting to make movies based on these creators' babies, but we were the only ones inviting them in as co-producers," says Erb. Edward Norton told MTV News ( that he's uncertain about the future of The Incredible Hulk and his role in it. There's been no word on whether they will be a solo sequel, or if Norton will be playing the Hulk in "The Avengers". "The minds of Marvel are sometimes opaque. I won't say [they're] obtuse, but I don't have any idea what they want to do." Perhaps they're considering Matthew McConaughey, who had no idea he was rumored for Captain America -- but revealed to MTV that Hulk is really the only Marvel character he would like to play. (They could save on the budget -- all they have to do is dye that muscled dude green.) According to The Sunday Times, Tobey Maguire has been granted an unprecedented "working father" deal for Spider-Man 4 and 5. He's willing to shoot them back to back, a six month shoot starting next year, but only if he's allowed early mornings and evenings off to spend with his young daughter. Awwww. He really is Peter Parker! According to Access Hollywood, Clark Duke is the latest to join Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass. He'll be playing Marty, best friend of Dave Lizewski, the main character. This film could be subtitled Kick-Ass: The Superbad Reunion. And speaking of Mark Millar -- /film has a scoop on a behind the scenes battle centered on the rights to his upcoming series War Heroes. A big-screen adaptation has been making its way around Hollywood, which has upset those who have been developing Shannon Eric Denton and Keith Giffen's series Grunts. Grunts came out first, has a similar concept of superpowered soldiers, and reportedly garnered the interest of Steve Buscemi. Comics2Film caught up with Denton, who confirms Grunts is making the rounds, but denies any knowledge of bickering or Buscemi.

Well, there you have it. Another entry of the Phile. The next entry will be done next Thurday, and I still want to hit 5000 views by Thanksgiving. We have less then 400 to go. So, spread the word, not the turd. Thanks for reading. Peace.


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