Monday, July 19, 2021

Pheaturing Speech

 

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Chrissy Teigen has officially not tweeted in over a month (unless she has a secret private account, which we honestly wouldn't rule out). And she's sick of it! Chrissy's last few tweets were responses to the controversy that surrounded her in early June. Courtney Stodden exposed Chrissy's alleged tweets and DMs, and this led Chrissy to issue several public apologies... although Courtney claimed Chrissy never reached out to apologize one-on-one. Chrissy lost several high-profile business deals due to the controversy, and hasn't been active on Twitter since. Chrissy has, however, been using Instagram. She took to the photo-sharing app to post a photo of her legs along with a lengthy caption about how much she misses interacting with people, presumably via Twitter since, again, she is still using Instagram. She wrote in the caption about how she's been stuck in her "depressed head" and lamenting her current inclusion in the "canceled club." Which apparently means the "people who are voluntarily not tweeting but still using other platforms" club. Courtney Stodden...  whose statements about Chrissy's past treatment of them led in part to her "cancaellation"... weighed in with a TikTok in which they advised Chrissy to "just be nice." Teigen has chosen to limit who can comment on the post. Some of her famous(-ish) fans voiced their support. But a few more critical fans snuck in to give their two cents. One Instagram user pointed out that Chrissy herself has sharpened the ol' pitchfork in the past. And many people are finding it hard to scrounge up any sympathy for the multimillionaire. And a few fans brought up her seemingly lavish recent trip to Italy, which she posted about on Instagram. This rubbed a few fans the wrong way. It also remains unclear why Chrissy feels "canceled" when she is still... you know... doing stuff. So, yeah. Some people don't feel bad.

In-laws are notoriously not always the easiest people to deal with. They tend to come with all the demands of aging parents, but without the built-in affection you tend to have for someone you're related to by blood. But if you think your in-laws are difficult, they probably aren't as bad as the mother-in-law of the person who had to post a Craigslist ad to hire her a wedding date. If you live near Hudson Valley, New York, are free in August, are between 40 and 60 years old and good at dealing with narcissists, I may have just the job for you!

The job's list of qualifications include being a "conversationalist" and "de-escalator" who is also a good dancer, with "experience in dealing with narcissists a plus." In return, the wedding date will receive not only $1,000 but also a list of conversation topics, their own hotel room, food, and travel expenses covered. Apparently the pay and benefits make this not an unappealing offer. So if you're interested, you might want to apply soon before the position gets filled! 

Megan Fox set the record straight about her recent interaction with former president Donald Trump during a recent appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live." The actress recently received backlash after the Internet heard that she allegedly called Trump "a legend" after sitting by him at a recent UFC match in Las Vegas. While speaking on the show, Fox gave more context to her original quote. She said, "I was in a row with Bieber, and Trump was also in my row. He had, like, 30 Secret Service with him. He was a legend. That arena was very supportive of Trump when he came in. I was like, I don't know how I feel about it, because if someone is a target, then I'm like, I could be harmed because I'm adjacent to where he is. So I was worried about my own safety, that's all I was caring about. But yeah, I've never seen anything like that before. It was crazy." Fox was careful to set the record straight on "Kimmel" after receiving a mix of accolades from Trump supporters and criticism from liberals after the match. On Wednesday night, she also posted an Instagram story claiming she never called Trump a legend, but rather that she noted he was a legend in that arena of the UFC fight. Do you get a feeling I'm being lazy with the monologues? Hahaha.

England's soccer football team might have lost the Euro Cup, but the country is still showing the world what they excel at: racism. Lads posted horrifically racist posts about Team England players Bukayo Saka, Marcus Rashford and Jadon Sancho, who are black, when they missed the penalty kicks that helped lock in Italy's win. Prince William, President of the Football Association, took to Twitter to tell blokes to stop it, signing the personal plea "W." He was met with a chorus of tweeters telling him to take a hard look at the racist abuse he enabled and perpetuated himself: the abuse the drove his brother Prince Harry and sister-in-law Meghan Markle to the other side of the world. Italian fans joke that their triumph over England was revenge for how England treated Meghan. Mamma mia!

Speaking of famous sons who are only where they are because of who their father is, Donald Trump Jr. The whatever-his-job-is spoke at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Dallas, and one of his jokes went over so poorly that you could see him fully die inside. The "please clap" moment came when the Large Adult Son delivered the poorly conceived and demonstrably false joke, "Texas had always lead the charge, 'til about a couple of months ago, and then Austin kind of took charge... Texas was still leading the charge... you're still like top 25... we gotta work on that stuff because most people have lost their minds... right?" All in all, his presence was likely well-received because conservatives will cheer for anything and anyone named Trump, but the minutes he was flapping in the wind were pleasing to anti-Trumpers. To quote Olivia Rodrigo, "god, it's brutal out here." 

Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Ummm... maybe not. Keeping up with the youngins and their lingo is tough. Kids these days like to use "emoji," which use small pictures to communicate how they're feeling... kind of like hyroglyphics. When using emoji, it's easy to confuse laugh-crying for just regular-crying, and these boomers and old folks made the unfortunate mistake of using the wrong face at the wrongest possible times. 

Schadenfreude? Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities. Like these signs for example...  

Language is weird and complicated and often makes no sense. Like why are grapefruits and grapes two completely different fruits?! So it makes sense why so many children make up completely new names for things. Sometimes these names are extremely literal. Other times they're completely and utterly random. Either way, the linguistic anarchy of children is never not hilarious, as any parent can attest to. 


Okay, wanna laugh?

When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient's wife anxiously rushed up to the doctor after the examination and was told of the diagnosis and the need for surgery. "How long will he be on crutches?" she asked. "Crutches???" the doctor asked. "Well, yes," the woman said "You are going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?" 



If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Now from the home officer in Port Jefferson, New York here is...


Top Phive Things Said By Married People Today
5. My wife just pulled me into the other room and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing. 
4. My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching TV and I hear a text, realizing I left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it... and its a text from my wife: "Please bring the chips on your way back."
3. I ran out of deodorant so I used my wife's Secret antiperspirant. Now not only do I smell like lavender, but I also loaded the dishwasher correctly for the first time ever. 
2. My wife got in her gym clothes, delivered an angry five-minute rant about how much she loves bread, then started cry-laughing at an unintelligible joke she mumbled between hysterical sobs. I have never been so scared in my life. 
And the number one thing said by a married person today was...
1. What’s my marital advice for new wives? Always screenshot proof that you texted your husband about any upcoming plans you guys have. Just trust me on this. You’ll use the shit out of those. 



The 154th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


Sharon will be on the Phile next Monday... a week from today. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jeff, shall we?


Looks like an okay day there. 


Today's guest is an American rapper and musician. He is a member of the progressive hip hop group Arrested Development and has released a number of solo albums. His documentary 16 Bars is available on Amazon Prime and Apple TV as well as some other places and also on DVD. Please welcome to the Phile... Speech.


Me: Hello, sir, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Speech: What's up, man? What's up? I'm doing great, I'm doing really good. 

Me: So, you have a documentary called 16 Bars. What is it about? Not bars that you drink at, right? 

Speech: No, man. The film takes viewers into a music workshop I led for inmates in Richmond, Virginia. 

Me: Oh, I was way off. When you first walked into the jail and met the inmates what was the first thing that struck you? 

Speech: Well, just how many smart, deep thinking, intellectual people there are inside that jail. I get these images of what is going to be inside of a jail or prison and I walk in, at least what I see on television, is all the real hard rock guys and they're just sort of grunting and waiting for me to make my wrong move. That's the type of imagery we get when we watch things about jail. When I walked in I saw this deep humanity and yeah, people that have done some hard things. 

Me: So, have some of these people done some hard things? 

Speech: Yeah, some of them have done some hard things and many people, most people actually, that were in for non-violent crimes. So it was a surprise. 

Me: What did you want to accomplish with your music workshop? 

Speech: Well, the truth is from my research and my understanding there is a shortage of workshops and that there's not a lot of music programs. In fact I saw this jail on television doing a daddy/daughters dance on CNN. When I saw the particular sheriff of this jail had a vision to have such a humane in the way of dealing with incarceration and what he would call "the residents" as opposed to the inmates I was moved to reach out to this particular jail to see if we could do some things. That's when I found they had a rarity which was a studio inside of this jail. It happens in other places but is so rare, and what I was looking for is someone with a vision to maybe have me come in and teach music or record music with these residents or inmates. 

Me: What were you hoping to accomplish to make music with the residents? 

Speech: For me the whole issue of incarceration and the injustices of it have been on my heart for decades now. When I saw this documentary I mentioned on CNN it let me know that maybe this was meant to be, I do music, I'm an activist through music and my activism is really striving to reach people through the lyrics, through the music, through the arts. So I figured if I could get it there it might be able to number 1) raise the voices of the men that are in these jails and prisons and number 2) with music allow people to become more are of the issues that are surrounding them and also maybe become activists in their own right, maybe just help out in certain ways and transition back into society. Maybe help out with how they are going to vote when it's time for elections and so forth. That's what I wanted to do is raise awareness. 

Me: You have a guy named Teddy Kane in the movie, Speech. Who is he? 

Speech: He was out of jail by the time we started filming but we still had a chance to make music together. He's the Tupac of his era. 

Me: What was it about him that blew you away? 

Speech: He blows me away every time I listen to Teddy and not just because of his lyrics, but his life. He's able to capture in music and in lyric most gritty and reality based lyrics about those who are raised in poverty, those who are raised around the drug game, those that are raised around really intense violence. Teddy himself, and he doesn't really share this in the film, was literally wrapped in plastic in and ready to be disposed of in his own life. Hit with an axe at the top of his head, split his head wide open. When we witness somebody whose been through these type of horrific things, things that we see in movies, things that we see in fiction but they've been through it in real life, the lyrics are bound to be poetic, they're bound to be filled with a certain grittiness and realness that definitely is like the Tupac of this era. I want more people to hear who Teddy Kane is. And this movie allows for that. No one know who is behind bars, and this film helps bring those voices to the light. 

Me: So, who else sticks out in the film for you, Speech? 

Speech: God, Garland Carr who is an amazing vocalist as well. He sings country, and that's also in this film. 

Me: So, why is the film called 16 Bars

Speech: I named it 16 Bars because that's a very common amount of bars for people to spit in hip-hop, and I'm from the hip-hop world. But the truth is this is mostly about men being able to express themselves behind bars, through the music, through the arts. You'd be surprised about the amount of talent in the movie and the movie shares that. Even some that aren't highly showcased in the film you ate able to see little breaks of how talented these men are and it's just outstanding. 

Me: I do like Garland's singing. When he picked up the guitar and started to sing did you see something change in him? 

Speech: He did, I did. I think both of us changed. First of all I was impressed by his level of talent and how much he cares about the song he wants to put out there. And yet, because he had a life of crime, which was truly because of drug addiction, he really got to work on his career. He never got to work as a person who said I'm going to put records out. He never put anything out. Again that goes to this misdirection of people who are addicted to drugs, sent to prison as a way to "solve the problem" and in reality we are just putting away people who have a lot a lot of talent. So that's that the thing I learned about him. 

Me: Okay, so what do you think he saw? 

Speech: I think what he saw was a man from the music industry a man that has had a huge success yet I wanted to come in there and record him. One of the things you'll find in this film it's not about me, I'm the guy that takes you into this journey. I really wanted the focus to be on these men. That's what you're going to hear a lot of, yeah, I'm the producer off the music but that's it. I really want the men to shine the most. 

Me: Did you notice any common threads from the guys you met in there? 

Speech: Yeah, one of the common threads was that many of the people that were in there was because of drug addiction like I just said. Also non-violent crimes. We have the disparities of how many black people that have been arrested and put into this system and how many people of other races. That was something that was glaring. That's one of the things I really recognize, many of them don't really need to be there. They really needed to be in treatment and if they would have gotten that treatment they probably would not have went on some of the routes they have went, some of the minor non-violent crimes that they did. Some of them weren't minor so I don't want to belittle some things that were done. But at the same time the drug addiction was one of the biggest common themes and I think as a society we need to start dealing with that as an illness across the board, people from all different races. 

Me: Okay, my sister Leila was a big fan of the Arrested Development album "3 Years, 5 Months and 2 Days in the Life Of..." The first hit from that album was "Tennessee." Why that state and what is the story behind that song? 

Speech: "Tennessee" was our first single that we ever released as Arrested Development. It came out in 1991, the very last part of 1991. The song is about the two deaths of my grandmother who I spent all my summers with in Tennessee and my whole family went down to Tennessee to celebrate her life, including my brother. And we all left there with a sense of purpose and that same week my brother Terry would also die. He died of an asthma attack. So the last place I saw my grandmother and my brother was Tennessee. So the song says "take me to another place, take me to another land, make me forget all that hurts me and help me understand your plan" is basically a prayer after some deep loss. And a lot of reflection after that so it starts off as just a prayer and then it goes into a reflection of the journeys we all take in life. For me it guided me to Tennessee which is a place that I lost, two very important people to me. 

Me: In the film you perform that song to the inmates in the jail. What were you feeling in that moment where you did that? 

Speech: For me here I am that's coming in, I'm not incarcerated, I could leave there any time I want. I am not one of them, but I'm coming in and I'm asking these men to open up their lives to me. I'm asking them to be vulnerable with me. I'm saying I want to write songs and for those guys to spill their hearts out to me. So my home for singing that song was to let them know I was going to do the same thing for them. So even though I'm not in the same predicament as them, I'm going to come in and open my heart to them, as a song they probably know and they know it. Out of all the songs it wasn't just a braggadocios song, it wasn't just a song spitting bars, it was a song about my life story. So it was in a sense bringing them a peace offering, saying I'm looking for a lot from you but let me give you a lot from me too. 

Me: At the time when Arrested Development came out did you feel a contrast with the other hip-hop bands and artists or was that a label out on you? 

Speech: The label that people put on us was alternative hip-hop. I always didn't like that label, I hated it. 

Me: Why is that? 

Speech: I've been a fan of hip-hop way before Arrested Development took off. To me hip-hop has always been this diverse force for the people, so I didn't like that title. At the same time I did understand coming in that Arrested Development brought a different energy to the rap community. That was intentional, that's what we wanted ti try and accomplish and we did accomplish that. I think the beautiful thing about that time in the late 80s and early 90s was that diversity was deeply celebrated in the music indistry and in hip-hop. So I'm grateful we were able to come out in such a fertile time where diversity was where we can ride the wave of and be ourselves, be unique. 

Me: What do you think of hip-hop today? 

Speech: Well, I think of hip-hop a few things. One is I think it has lost that balance that I was just speaking of. The diversity of the music is what makes it the voice of the people. But when you only have a small sector of the population who is being emphasized and put out there then really you have music that's talking about strip clubs or gun play, gun violence and materialism and stuff like that. That's a very small sector of the population and when they start doing that and make that the main majority of what we are going to hear in hip-hop then it becomes propaganda. That's no longer the voice of the people, thats the voice of some other agenda and that's sad. You'll see a while generation being raised not even knowing that hip-hop music has so much more potential from a message stand point and the diversity of a message stand point. 

Me: So, what's the big difference between hip-hop today and when you guys started out? 

Speech: The difference with the early 90s and late 80s was we were not average, I would hate to say it that my group was average, but there were numerous groups that spoke messages of different types whereas Public Enemy and on the opposite side 2 Live Crew which was talking about strip clubs or whether it be Arrested Development or A Tribe Called Quest there was a lot of different expressions of the same type of genre. 

Me: So, back to the film, what's the takeaway for you in helping them to play music and helping them to move forward? 

Speech: Music has a way of overcoming some of the obstacles politics face. So music is able to overcome the walls of politics, somebody's on the Right or somebody is leaning Left in politics music has a way of cutting through all of that. That's why to me hearing these men in context of music and the arts, been in the context of the film which is what this is, 16 Bars, is a film. I think it allows people to let down their walls and their differences of political opinion for enough time to hear the messages of these men and women that are locked behind bars. 

Me: That's cool. Speech, thanks so much for being on the Phile. 

Speech: It was a pleasure. I loved it. Stay safe. 

Me: You too.






That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Speech for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Thursday with Ricky Gervais. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.






























Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...

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