Pheaturing Jillian Bell

 

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? According to Business Insider a woman on American Airlines flight 1774 flying from Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas to Charlotte, North Carolina on Tuesday, attacked flight attendants and tried to open the door mid-flight. TikTok user @lol.airee shared a video. Here's a screen shot...

In the video you can see the woman, bound, gagged, and taped to her seat while she yells through the tape, repeatedly saying "you" and "people." As the video progresses, you can see police waiting in the galley. As she exits the plane you can see more police waiting with a stretcher. American Airlines wrote to Business Insider that the woman, "attempted to open the forward boarding door and physically assaulted, bit, and caused injury to a flight attendant. We applaud our crew for their professionalism and quick effort to protect those on board." According to TikTok user @lol.airee, as the plane was landing the woman "had an outburst" and attempted to get off the plane. She started banging on the doors, saying, "You need to let me off this plane!" After biting, spitting and kicking flight attendants, they "took her down" and duct-taped her to the seat. 

According to the Outdoor Amusement Business Association (OABA) .08% of amusement park injuries require overnight hospitalization, and "from 1987 through June 2005, there were eleven (11) non-occupational fatalities attributed to the mobile ride industry. However, according to NBC news, "The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission estimated that 30,900 injuries caused by amusement park attractions were seen by hospital emergency departments in 2016 alone." On Thursday the 95th Annual National Cherry Festival in Traverse City, Michigan people were enjoying their evenings. They were eating cotton candy. They were throwing rings at milk bottles to try to win stuffed animals. And they were strapping themselves into carnival rides. Everything was as you'd expect, until The Magic Carpet ride started to tip over. People came to the rescue and steadied the ride. There were no reported injuries, and by the next morning the ride had been dissembled. These rides always look a bit sketchy, but you never think anything is really going to happen. 

Another day, another bizarre statement from America's most incendiary blonde, Tomi Lahren. The right-wing political commentator stoked yet-another-controversy this week when she called flight attendants "Nazis of the air" for enforcing the mask mandate during commercial flights. The CDC still advises that people traveling on commercial flights wear masks during the flight. And while most commercial fliers seem to have no issue with this, there has been an uptick in belligerent behavior from travelers who see the mask mandate as a breach of their personal freedom. While appearing on "Fox News" last week to discuss the rise in "unruly" behavior on flights, Lahren said, "There are so many good flight attendants out there, but there are some flight attendants out there that take their job as the mask police to extreme, becoming almost Nazis of the air and it's ridiculous. It drops beneath your nose, they're constantly getting mad at you. There is no excuse for violence, but we need to lift the mask mandate in the air, and I have a feeling a lot of these issues will go away." Tomi Lahren is not the first conservative to compare enforcement of COVID-19 precautions to the treatment of Jewish people in Nazi Germany. 

Hilaria Baldwin is at it again, and by "it," I mean, "insisting that she is somehow Spanish though she was born and raised in Boston and simply vacationed in Spain." The mother of six and wife of retired Trump impressionist Alec Baldwin, born Hillary Hayward-Thomas, used to speak in a Spanish accent and famously forgot the English word for "cucumber." In an Instagram caption, Hilaria insisted that while her accent might have been fake, her connection to Spain is not. "We all get to curate our individual expressions of our cultures, languages, who we love, what we believe in, how we dress, present ourselves," she wrote. Hilaria identifies as "multi," as in multicultural, describing her identity as "fluid." "When you are multi, it can feel hard to belong. You are constantly going back and forth, trying to be more this or more that," she wrote. She then hoped to inspire people who feel similarly torn. "You don’t need to be this and then that, switching, dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum. You can be 100% you all the time. Ebb & flow, in your brilliant fluidity, as your very legitimate you." Hilaria got the attention she desired... but much of it was negative. People criticized her for using the language of LGBTQ+ and first generation people to describe the plight of growing up with a summer house in Spain and parents who retired in Majorca. Is it physically impossible to be both rich and quiet? 

Conor McGregor’s UFC comeback has come to a somber conclusion. During the first round of his Trilogy fight against Dustin Poirier at UFC 264, the MMA star broke his left ankle in the first round after planting his left behind him. The fight was soon after ruled a win for Poirier due to doctor’s stoppage. McGregor was interviewed by Joe Rogan on the mat following the injury, and was as "McGregor" as ever even minutes after suffering a surely extremely painful injury. 

Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

That's sad. Haha. If I had a TARDIS I would go and try to meet Bill Clinton but knowing my luck he'd be missing the ball while playing touch football on the beach at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina...

Hahahahahaha. Today's guest is Jillian Bell who was in those 21 Jump Street movies... well, a new movie in that series is coming out soon...

They're up to 31 all ready. Dang. Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities. Like these Bibles for instance...

I bet they're exactly the same book. When you're in a relationship, it's ideal for you to have similar eating habits. And one woman is freaking out as her husband seems to have become increasingly dependent on breakfast sandwiches. Microwaved breakfast sandwiches. One day, the woman snapped at him and now she's wondering if she was wrong for doing that. She emailed the Phile to ask if she was in the wrong. She explains he has an absurd amount of the sandwiches.

"My husband eats frozen breakfast sandwiches. Every day. Often as many as five or six a day, all day and all night. Our freezer is stuffed with breakfast sandwiches. His breath smells of rotten eggs because he’s constantly eating egg patties. Half the time I cook, he’ll skip whatever I’ve prepared to have one of these frozen sandwiches. It’s embarrassing, especially when we have company. Historically, I haven’t really cared. He’s an adult and can eat whatever his limited palette enjoys. But several weeks ago he paused a movie we were watching to get a snack and came back with one of these goddamn sandwiches, and something in me just snapped. The smell, the sight, the idea of a grown-ass man who subsists on these hideous little frozen sandwiches… I was revolted. Ever since, I can hardly tolerate them. I’ve been trying subtly to get him to stop (it’s not healthy, your breath smells bad, etc) but he bought 24 more of them yesterday and today I finally snapped. I told him I find them repulsive, and that I wish he would eat like a grown man. He was upset. Then he microwaved yet another of these damn sandwiches, and walked off with it. Am I wrong? I think I might be because my husband (although not formally diagnosed) has a lot of “aspy” qualities and might be neurodivergent. He is especially quirky about food. I could count the things he eats regularly on one hand." It's understandable that you're grossed out, but you should've been nicer. You went from zero to 60 with very little warning. Hinting at something and then snapping is never a good solution. And if he IS neurodivergent, he deserves a lot more grace. It is unfair to expect him to just quit all the sudden. It's actually pretty cruel. As a couple meals should be shared together, not everytime by any means but when you can never share a meal with your partner I could see how it would cause a divide in a relationship. This is hilarious, unless you had to deal with it daily. He may need some sort of professional help, this is a unhealthy addiction both physically and mentally. Have you tried discussing this issue? Has he told you why he’s so averse to everything else? It just sounds like you let this bubble up inside you until you exploded, which is neither productive nor fair for him. Maybe he’s experiencing some sort of disorder (eating, autism spectrum or otherwise) and could really use some support? So yes, it's okay to get annoyed at someone's weird eating habits. But it's always better to have a polite conversation instead of flip out. Let me know how it goes. If you have a problem you want my opinion on then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, here is...

Top Phive Things Said About Tomi Lahren Calling Flight Attendants "Nazis" For Enforcing Masks.

5. This is your monthly reminder that COVID safety precautions are not comparable to the systemic targeting and murder of 6 million Jews. 

4. I'm a flight attendant for a major airline and saying shit like that puts us is so much danger in an already tumultuous environment. You don't like it, drive. 

3. I'm pretty sure Germany had actual Nazis in the actual air in World War II.

2. Just look at them all smiling and giggling, because its awesome to make fun of real people doing their job. 

And the number one thing said about Lahren calling flight attendants "Nazis" for enforcing masks was...

1. Every time Tomi Lahren trends, a Karen gets her wings. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jeff, shall we?

Looks okay today. 

The 154th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Sharon will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks. 

Phact 1. The city of Detroit has its own local currency, fully backed by U.S. currency. It’s printed in $3 bills and features the Spirit of Detroit over the Detroit Skyline. 

Phact 2. There is an abandoned theme park in China called Wonderland that never opened. 

Phact 3. One of the first original television programs in America was “The Television Ghost,” which featured dead people telling the stories of their murders. 

Phact 4. The 19th century biologist Sir John Lubbock experimented on ants by getting them drunk. He discovered that sober ants would carry their drunken ant comrades back to their nest, if they were from the same colony, but they threw drunken strangers into the ditch.

Phact 5. All humans have the DNA structure that is 99.9% similar, and the last 0.01% is enough to identify different DNA sequences (to tell apart which DNA belongs to whom).

Today's guest is an American comedienne, actress, and screenwriter. She stars in the 2019 film Brittany Runs a Marathon. She starred as Jillian Belk on "Workaholics," voiced the role of Violet Hart in "Bless the Harts" and had a recurring role as Dixie on the final season of "Eastbound & Down," and appeared in 22 Jump Street, Fist Fight, and Godmothered.  Please welcome to the Phile... Jillian Bell.

Me: Hello, Jillian, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Jillian: I'm great, Jason, glad to be here. 

Me: So, I was looking at your bio and it says that you are from the hit TV comedy 'Workaholics" to the film Bridesmaids and 22 Jump Street to writing for "Saturday Night Live." In "Bridesmaids" you played an unnamed character called "Girl at Bridal Shower." What's the deal with that? 

Jillian: It's true. Funny story is my dad who used to go to the movies every Sunday when he was alive, he went to see it, this was the first time he was really seeing me in a movie and he blinked and he missed me. He went to see the movie a second time and I told him what point to keep his eyes very wide open and then he saw me. 

Me: That's great. So, Jonah Hill said you're one of the funniest people he's ever met in his life. What do you think about that? 

Jillian: That's insane. He's honestly ridiculously brilliant and hilarious. It was a very sweet compliment. 

Me: If he was here being interviewed what you say to him? 

Jillian: We would have a "compliment off." "Oh, you're brilliant, no you're brilliant." LOL. Everyone would be like "we're bored." 

Me: Now you're in a movie where you are the lead called Brittany Runs a Marathon. You play Brittany, right? 

Jillian: I do. I play the title character. 

Me: So, what is the movie about? 

Jillian: The film is based on the true story of a girl named Brittany who feels stuck in life and decides to make a change by running the New York City Marathon. 

Me: How much running did you do in your life before this role? 

Jillian: Zero point zero zero. I did not have a lot. I ran track for ten minutes in 8th grade and that was it. I started from scratch. 

Me: So, what made you want to do this movie then? 

Jillian: I got the script and I felt deeply in love with the character and the themes of the movie. I thought it was so beautiful and a different take on a transformation tale. And I figured because it was in the title I'd have to start running. 

Me: So, what was it like when you started running? 

Jillian: I started on my own because that's what the character goes through, taken that first block and how hard it could be. It was a very vulnerable experience for me. Just exercising in general can be very humiliating. Sometimes it feels like, at least for me, I have the experience of not doing it in the way other people can do it and so at first it was just around my block and I start training on my own I eventually lost forty pounds for the role that they didn't ask me to but I just thought it would connect me to the character in a way that I thought I would be able to go a little bit deeper in and understand where she was at physically and emotionally. I sort of immersed myself in the world and I'm really proud of the movie. 

Me: When that weight came off what did you notice about the way people have treated you? 

Jillian: It was really interesting because after finishing the film going back to my real life was interesting. I thought I learned so much from playing the character. The character goes through such an emotional arc and it'a beautiful. Then I thought I wanted to apply it to my own life and then coming home people have an opinion or they don't and not were sort of upsetting to me. I had people say to me, "This is the way you should be." That was damaging and I told them. I said, "You can't people like that." It's like they want to encourage someone and what they're going through and compliment the hard work. But when it comes to whether I look "better" or "worse" it could mess me up. 

Me: Well, I think you always looked great. Do you think in most movies people's lives always get easier when they lose wait? 

Jillian: Yes! And that's not the right message to put out. 

Me: So, how is this movie different from the others? 

Jillian: That's not where I went with this movie, this misconception that is exposed that I change the way I look everything will just magically be better. It's an unhealthy message to put out there and nobody relates to that. No one drips a bunch of weight and they get the job and the guy and they role credits. That never really happens. Usually they go through a big mental and emotional change. I certainly did and I appreciate this film showed that and showed how hard it could be to make that first step, but if we do it can be rewarding and beautiful. 

Me: Well, I can't imagine running a marathon. My sister Lucy did though about ten years ago. I was very proud of her. So, would you say that the movie made you way you think about your own weight and your own body specifically? 

Jillian: Congrats to your sister. And yes. Definitely. It made me embrace all the different bodies I had in my life. Truly. It made me go back and say all of these women were joyful and in pain and had panic attacks but also had some of the best nights off their lives. So it's cool to go back and think none of these bodies were wrong. All of them were right and all of them were beautiful. 

Me: Jillian, when did you start acting? 

Jillian: Well, I started taking improv classes at the tender age of 8. 

Me: Whoa. How did you do that? 

Jillian: I think my parents were looking for some kind of fun activity to put me in. I tried ballet because my sister had done ballet but it did not work out in my favor. I realized very quickly that twirling around the room is not what the teacher wanted me to do. So my mom was seeking out something else and I think more theatrical and she found an ad for some improv classes and she decided to take me to that. I mean that was so mazing, it was so perfect for what I wanted to go to in my life and it turns out. And the class was full with young kids and most of them were very shy. Their parents were putting them into these classes to break them out of their shell and with me there was no shell, I was just doing a one woman show constantly. But I really enjoyed it. 

Me: Did you know then you wanted to dedicate your life to making people laugh? 

Jillian: Yeah, very early on. I got my first laugh and I was like what was that? It felt amazing and it makes me feel good as a human being that I'm giving someone some levity. Obviously I didn't know the word "levity" at that age but I was sort of like this makes me feel good. And then I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. 

Me: I never saw the movie 22 Jump Street, Jillian, but I saw the first one. Was that movie improvised? I heard it was. 

Jillian: A lot of them. There were some writers on set that were very hopeful and would throw out stuff but a lot of times we would just play around and it was so much fun. That was like my first big job in a movie. 

Me: Did you have to audition for it? 

Jillian: Yeah, when I auditioned I auditioned several times for different parts. I wanted the role of Mercedes so baldy. I had no idea she was the villain in the movie. I just thought she was someone who rags on Jonah about his age and I thought that would be fun and playful. Then we did the table read and I still didn't have the part. As we got to the end I was like so, who is the bad guy? I flipped the page and it was me and I wanted it so much more at that point. Then shortly after that I got it. I mean it was life changing. 

Me: Great, you just spoiled the film for me, Jillian. Haha. I read that you were the real star of the movie. Take that, Jonah Hill. Haha. 

Jillian: "Take that, Jonah Hill." That's terrible. LOL. Who said that about me anyway? 

Me: I think it was slate.com. Here's a screenshot of the headline...

Jillian: Oh, that's nice. They're both so talented to... Channing and Jonah. It's ridiculous. 

Me: So, when you got the part in this new movie how did you celebrate? 

Jillian: That's a great question. I haven't been asked that. How did I celebrate? I mean this whole thing feels like celebrating, After every screening and Q & A I've had people have been coming up starting their stories, how they relate. That has been the biggest celebration sort of just the community. I hope for something like that when I make a film like this but I had no idea. 

Me: Why not? 

Jillian: Because it's a comedy, its got some drama, people could feel things and relate. To have it happen and be in the theaters and people laughing then hear them crying its been a beautiful experience celebrating the whole way. 

Me: What do you think the 8-year-old version of yourself would say knowing you were going to star in your own movie one day? 

Jillian: Oh, man. She would be thrilled. But she'd have a lot of questions. She want to know did I end up marrying Edward Furlong. Do I drive limousines everywhere? She had a lot of hopes when she was little. 

Me: What would "Girl at Bridal shower" say? That's the real question. Hahaha.

Jillian: I always hoped and I've always been a believer of work as hard as I can and grow up and be a decent human being that people will want to work with me again. If this is what I want to do keep going for it. Do it with as many hours in the day as I can. I'm so happy. I'm so happy I hope I could keep doing what I love doing. 

Me: Me too. Thanks for being on the Phile, Jillian.

Jillian: Thank you, Jason, for your time. This was fun.

That about does it fo this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Jillian for a fun interview. The Phile will be back on Saturday with Rheostatics. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. 

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...