Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Pheaturing Hari Kondabolu


Hey kids, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday. How are you? Yesterday a group of neighbors in Nashville, Tennessee used their bodies as a shield against ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officers attempting to arrest a father and son. The episode went down yesterday morning when the father and son got in their van and were promptly blocked by an ICE vehicle. The ICE officers attempted to coerce the father and son into exiting the van so they could arrest them. When the neighbors witnessed the attempted arrest, dozens of them streamed out to help, quickly forming a human chain between the father and son's van and the ICE vehicle. "We made sure they had water, they had food, we put gas back in the vehicle when they were getting low just to make sure they were okay," neighbor Felishadae Young told CNN in an interview. "I was real scared about what was going on," Young continued. "It put a lot of fear in me, because it could be me, it could be my family. It could be anybody. It could be your neighbors, just like it was my neighbor today. It changed a lot about how I feel about this country." After a few hours of stand-off, the neighbors decided the best course of action would be to form a chain to allow the father and son make it safely into the house without being apprehended by the ICE officers. The ICE officers had an administrative warrant, which is not a warrant that legally gives them rights to remove someone from their home. In order to legally arrest someone at their house, ICE agents would need a signed warrant from a judge, luckily the neighbors and father and son knew their rights. One of ICE's primary tactics is to trick people into cooperating with an arrest regardless of whether the arrest is legal. Luckily, after the neighbors successfully guarded the family's entrance into their home, the ICE officers gave up and left. "I'm so grateful for everyone's support. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thanks to all of you who had our back today," the neighbor said at the door, when her husband and son were safely ushered inside.
Despite spending her whole life and career serving him, people assume that Ivanka Trump is not a lot like her father Donald, just because her clothes are tailored. But the grifter-brander White Lady Outreach Coordinator of the Trump White House is her father's daughter, especially when it comes to spelling. Ivanka took to Twitter to congratulate fellow blonde bigot Boris Johnson on becoming the non-Queen leader of the United Kingdom, or so I think. She wrote "United Kingston."


She deleted the tweet and tried again with "United Kingdom," but the Internet doesn't forget. The cheeky Brits joked that Ivanka was indeed referring to Kingston upon Thames, and area in southwest London and its own electoral district. It's an exciting day for the family, as Boris Johnson has been widely called "the British Trump" for his buffoonishness and bigotry. There's also uncertainty about how many children he has. BoJo and DJT are birds of a feather, and not just because their respective hairpieces look like roadkill. The special relationship has never seemed so special.
There's a beef tearing America apart and no, it's not the Democratic primary: it's Taylor Swift vs. Scooter Braun. Earlier this month, Swift took to Tumblr to express her disgust and dismay that through a corporate merger, her life's work is now owned by Braun, who represents Justin Bieber and "bullied" her throughout the Kanye feud. Braun hosted a fancy fundraiser for Harris at his $20 million mansion, and it was crashed by his clients Katy Perry, Demi Lovato, and Ariana Grande. Here's a pic of them all...


Unrelated, but Ariana Grande wore a sweatshirt to meet a senator? Does she really only own oversized sweatshirts? Harris's decision to align herself with Braun might just affect the primary. The Taylor Swift voting block wasn't enough to get a Democrat elected senator in Tennessee, but there are Swifties who vote in all fifty states... and Puerto Rico.
The only display of humanoid cats that's worse than the Cats trailer was during a press conference about two "suspicious" deaths. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police in British Columbia apologized after the livestream of their press conference about an American woman and Australian man found dead was posted with the cat filter on. Look at this shit!


A jellicle homicide. Chynna Noelle Deese, 24, and her boyfriend, Lucas Robertson Fowler, 23, were tragically discovered shot and killed in their car on a remote highway, as explained by a woman with whiskers and cat ears. Whoever switched the filter is likely feeling even sorrier than the average Canadian.
Congratulations to a Disney property for beating out another Disney property in the race for a gazillion dollars! This past weekend, Avengers: Endgame officially become the most financially successful movie of all time, beating out Avatar for capitalism's highest honor. Seeing as nobody can name a single character, plot point, or line from Avatar, that stat was all it had going for it. We'll always have Titanic.
If I had a TARDIS knowing my luck I would end up in the Philippines in the 90s just as a pyroclastic flow, made of hot gas and rock, is released into the air when Mt. Pinatubo erupts.


Cough. Cough. Haha. I think Ivanka Trump has a time machine...


She shows up at the worst possible places where she's not wanted. Did you see the trailer for the new Top Gun movie? I've never seen the original and had no plans to see the new one until I saw this in the trailer...


Now I'm intrigued. Speaking of movies, did you see the poster for the new "Star Trek" movie? They revealed it at San Diego Comic Con...


That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...


I don't know if you kids know but I'm a Simpsons fan, that's one of the reasons I'm wanted to interview Hari Kondabolu about his documentary about Apu from "The Simpsons." Anyway, one thing I think is very creepy about "The Simpsons" and once you see it you'll never be able to get it outta your head is a front shot of a Simpsons character. Look at Moe...


Hahahaha. That's so funny. He! Did you know Trump plays accordion? No? Here's proof...


When he was in England a few weeks ago my fellow Brits sure had some clever anti-Trump signs...


Ha! I mentioned yesterday Don Jr. has a new book coming out titled Triggered: How The Left Thrives On Hate And Wants To Silence Us. Well, that's not the original title had in mind.


Haha. So, do you kids go to Walmart? I was told there's some odd sights there... I didn't believe it until I saw this...


Nice hair, dude. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...


Top Phive Other Rules You Should Follow
5. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"
4. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her... believe them.
3. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
2. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
And the number one other rule you should follow is...
1. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!




If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so there's this guy who claims to be really "fancy" but I really don't think he is. He wanted to stop by the Phile and say hi, so please welcome back...


Me: Hello, Samual, welcome back to the Phile. I just realized your name is Samual and not Samuel. Haha.

Samual: Yeah, it's more fancy than just "Samuel," You should spell your name like J-A-Y-S-O-N.

Me: Nah. it's okay. So, what have you been up to?

Samual: I just watched the movie Grease on Blu-ray earlier today.

Me: Really? You've never seen Grease before?

Samual: No, sir, but I saw it today.

Me: Well, the movie came out in 1978. That's 41 years ago.

Samual: I know. I'm behind.

Me: So, what did you think?

Samual: After the movie I went to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror and thought  I've got so many hickeys I look like a leopard." That's so sophisticated, right?

Me: Ummm.. no.

Samual: Well, it is! I have to go now to have dinner.

Me: Where are you going to have dinner, Samual?

Samual: One of the fanciest restaurants in town... the Olive Garden of course.

Me: Samual Phancy, the fanciest man in town, kids.




She's thinking, "Hey buddy, my breasts are down here!" Okay... People don't like to stare down the barrel of their own prejudice, especially when it's towards someone as close as a family member. Homophobia is sadly still so embedded culturally that it tears apart countless families and causes people to disown their own blood. One of the most toxic forms of homophobia, aside from fully pushing an LGBTQIA member out of the family, is forcing them to stay silent about the way they've been treated. In many families that make amends after a falling out, there is an oppressive understanding that the LGBTQIA loved one is supposed to sweep past homophobia under the rug and undermine the complexities of their identity in order to make other people more comfortable. I received an email from Al, a gay man who shared how his sister outed him as a teenager which led to 11 years of estrangement from the family.


It wasn't until his father passed away that Al's mother had a change of heart and reached back out to mend the relationship. Since Al's nephew was 5-years-old during the falling out, that makes him 16 now, and reasonably curious about why his uncle was distant. "Dear Jason, am I wrong for being honest with my nephew about where I was for most of his life? Okay, let me just get right into this. I was kicked out at 16 because my older sister outed me to my parents as gay. They completely cut off all contact with me and I didn't see any of my family up until last year, when my father passed away and mum had a change of heart and we started building a relationship again. When I was kicked out, my nephew was 5-years-old. For the less maths savvy, that makes him 16 now." During a recent family party, Al's nephew pressed him to share why the family cut him off all those years ago. At first, Al tried to avoid it, but he ended up sharing the truth after realizing the nephew had no clue what went down. "A couple of weeks ago, there was a family party in which he and I ended up spending most of the evening together, just chatting and stuff. He asked me why I wasn't around for so long and what happened between me and the fam to make them push me out like that. I asked him what his mum had told him and he just shrugged and said she won't talk about it. I told him he's maybe better having this conversation with her but he kept pressing until I eventually confessed I was cut off for being gay. He made a face and asked how my parents even found out. I told him I was outed by my sister, but that he must understand that this was a long time ago and that I don't think she'd do something like that now and that it was just a silly mistake on her part. He got a bit quiet and changed the subject." The day following the talk, Al received an angry phone call from his sister accusing him of trying to poison his nephew against the family. Al stuck to his guns and pointed out that he was simply telling the truth because his nephew wanted to know. "I got a phone call from my sister the next day furious that I'd told him and accusing me of trying to poison her not only against her but against the rest of the family too by 'pretending they're bad people' and 'making up false homophobia accusations.' I explained to her that I didn't tell him anything but the truth because he asked and I think he's old enough to deserve honesty. She just kept yelling at me for dragging up the past and being a bad influence and has effectively banned me from hanging out with my nephew. I'm crushed because obviously I love the kid. Did I do the wrong thing? Should I have lied or refused to talk about it or lied to him or something?" Now that his sister has cut him off from his nephew, Al is wondering if he should have handled the situation differently. Well, I think Al was gracious and brought up the possibility that his nephew might be looking for an ally himself. Al, you told the truth and you even downplayed her part by saying it was a "silly mistake." I wonder if your nephew is perhaps LGBTQ himself and is now upset with his mom because he is afraid the same will happen to him. Or likely he's just a good kid that knows that love equals love, and is not afraid to stand up for what is right. Either way, good on him. The other important thing here, Al, is that you have now established yourself as someone honest and trustworthy for your nephew when he turns 18. He's 16, "banning" him from seeing you is not a rational or enforceable consequence." It feels crystal clear that Al handled the situation with far more grace than most people would have, and his sister's behavior proves she doesn't deserve such consideration. Hopefully, the nephew is able to cultivate a relationship with Al regardless of his homophobic mom. If you have a situation you want me to help with email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com.



MAGA-themed weddings are unfortunately becoming a trend... I don't really know what about Trump (a man who cheated on his current wife with a porn star and has been divorced twice already) screams eternal love and marriage, but his supporters will do just about anything for an excuse to wear the red hat. Not every MAGA wedding gets a surprise from the guest of honor, though. The "lucky" couple, PJ Mongelli and Nicole Marie of Staten Island, were in for a shock when the president showed up on their special day. Granted, Trump owns the club where they had their wedding (Trump National Gold Cub Bedminister) and the couple admits they tried to invite him already. However, it's still fun to say he "crashed" it. Here's Trump, congratulating the bride and groom.


In a video Trump is introduced to the bride's dad. A voice in the background is heard reassuring the president that they're "all supporters here." Is Obama available for wedding appearances? Because he and Michelle know a little more about a successful marriage, jus' sayin'. According to TMZ, the reception hall was decked out with "Trump 2020" flags. The bride not only sent Trump an invitation, but also a scrapbook of memories she has shared with him at his rallies and other events. I guess it's good to have a passion? Trump reportedly was invited to a second event after the reception in Staten Island and he also attended that party. It's good to know that the Secret Service is keeping busy protecting our president at very important work-related events. It's nice that Trump gave this couple what they wanted, but maybe we should all keep our wedding themes at, I don't know, love?



The 102nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


Michael and Adam will be on the Phile in a few weeks.



Today's guest is an American stand-up comic, actor, filmmaker, and podcast host. He is the star, creator, and executive director of The Problem with Apu, a documentary about Apu from "The Simpsons." The film contextualizes Apu within minstrelsy and other tropes in American pop culture history that have historically stereotyped minorities. Please welcome to the Phile... Hari Kondabolu.


Me: Hey, Hari, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Hari: Hi, Jason, thanks for having me. I'm good.

Me: Hari, where are you from?

Hari: Flushing, New York City. I'm first born American Indian.

Me: Alright. So, how did minority issues, if that's what you call it, become part of your comedy? 

Hari: I don't think it was immediate. Other comedians and I take awhile to figure out what our voice is and what it is we want to really talk about.

Me: Okay, when did you start to do comedy?

Hari: I started doing comedy when I was 17.

Me: When you started what kind of stuff were you talking about?

Hari: Well, I didn't really experience anything yet, all I did was accents and tried to make fun of my parents. Find things I knew would work and I knew the accent thing would work because I was a Simpsons fan and clearly Apu was affective. I didn't have a strong point of view, especially as a kid. 

Me: So, when did you comedy get "serious"? If that makes sense.

Hari: After 9/11 happened and I saw what happened not only was my city, I'm a New Yorker, effected by terrorism, my fellow American's were beating up "brown" people... Sheiks, Muslims, anybody. Their were deportations and detentions what the government was doing with immigrants, It was awful, and I just remember thinking that they don't know us. They don't see us as American, they don't understand our stories. I started thinking up to that point what are the major depictions of brown people at large, right. There was Apu, a convenient store owner, who was harmless as well as all the other characterizations, like cab drivers or a gas station attendant, all in these servile harmless positions and mocked, used as a punch line. On the other side of the portrayal was like terrorists. When something like 9/11 happens I saw how people aired on the side of terrorists. They no longer see me as harmless, they see me as completely harmful.

Me: What or who do you blame for all this?

Hari: There's such a range of humanity between those two points. That humanity was not reflected in mainstream media. I certainly did not see that growing up. I saw the effects that happened right after 9/11. When I was on stage at that point it just felt ridiculous for me to talk about the same things I was talking about, especially since I became a politicized human being. I felt really disappointed about what I was seeing in the world.

Me: You don't do the Indian accent anymore, right?

Hari: Yeah, I stopped doing that years ago. Also to be fair I wasn't very good at it.

Me: What was your accent like?

Hari: I was doing an impression of a white guy's impression of Indian people. I was doing an impression of Hank Azaria's impression of Apu, more than an actual impression. I don't do voices, that's never been my strength. I just knew that any sound would work.

Me: You have a documentary called The Problem With Apu, but you had a problem with Apu for a while now. First of, when did you first get into "The Simpsons" and what did you think of the show and Apu then?

Hari: Probably junior high school...? I think I started watching "The Simpsons" before they had the full show. They used to be on "The Tracy Ullman Show." When I first saw Apu sometime in that first season I was really excited because south Asian Americans, we did not exist in mainstream media. We didn't have regular characters. When we did show up it was a punch line but never with any consistency. Apu was a regular part of the community of this series, important storylines, like we existed. When we had nothing, we took anything.

Me: Alright, so, when did your love for Apu go bad? Haha.

Hari: A few years went by and I'm in 5th, 6th, 7th grade and I realized, oh my God, when we only have one thing that's what they can use to make fun of us. That's the only thing they have to identity a whole community with. It doesn't matter who we are, or what we're interested in, what our traits are, it doesn't matter. That's the one thing. Strangely it was my parents, it wasn't really mad as much as my parents who it was kind of a caricature of. It definitely led me to be embarrassed about my parents. I think as immigrant children that's such a terrible feeling that these people that sacrificed everything for me, I was worried about how other people would view them. Will they make fun of their accents? Will they think they're stupid? I feel kinda guilty now that was ever possible, that Apu created that for a lot of us.

Me: Sigh. When did you find out Hank Azaria, a white actor, voiced Apu?

Hari: Very early on because I was a huge Simpsons fan.

Me: I'm sure you picked up on the fact that it was a "bad" accent, right?

Hari: Yeah. I know the voice of the bullies that made fun of me. Obviously it was a bad voice but at the same I was excited. He exists! We have something!

Me: You say in the documentary that Apu was one of the smartest characters on "The Simpsons." That's not a bad thing, right?

Hari: The character is fundamentally flawed. I love "The Simpsons," it influences me as a person and as a comedian. The writing is absolutely brilliant, it's an incredible satire of pop culture and politics. Apu as a character is based on a stereotype that is so basic and hacky that it feels beneath "The Simpsons."

Me: Hari, can you take a joke?

Hari: Yeah, but the same joke, it's always the same joke. There's a lot of people in India, there's something about curry, yoga, elephant god, same jokes, over and over and over and over. At some point it's not that funny anymore.

Me: "The Simpsons" people say they are equal opportunity offenders, they make fun of every race equally, what do you think of that?

Hari: Equal opportunity offends to me only works if they are equal opportunities. That has never been the case. If they only had two or three images that show up, that one on "The Simpsons" has actually more weight. But if they are making fun of cops, there's lots of representations of cops. If they're making fun of mayor, the mayor has power. Meanwhile an Indian or an Indian immigrant, or south Asian I should say, broader than India, this is it. That's why I don't believe in the equal opportunity offends thing. I remember being a kid going to comedy clubs, when I was 18, 19, 20-years-old, and it was that idea of equal opportunity offends, making fun of everybody. I can make fun of you, you can, but where's the response? We don't have that voice, we don't have anybody that is going up there and talk for us and say funny things where you could laugh with us instead of at us, where we could fight back. I wanted to be the comedian that wasn't there when I was a kid.

Me: In the documentary you talk to some south Asian people about how Apu affected their lives. What were some of the common threads in their stories?

Hari: There was a lot of embarrassment about parents, there was a lot of feeling bullied and being ashamed of who they were. Certainly for the actors there was certainly not having good roles. If they were going to do a roll with an Indian accent for example, and they knew how to do a variety of different Indian accents, there's no singular one. the casting directors wouldn't be interested. "No, we want the Apu voice." It doesn't end with "The Simpsons," we see that continuing. We have Kal Penn talking about Van Wilder, he's in that movie. We cut this out of the film but he got to talk about being frustrated with his character and him talking to his agent saying he didn't want to do this, the event made him write a list of 20 things that bothered him about his character's lines and write like alternate punch lines, things he could pitch to the writers. At the end of the day the writers are thinking about jokes. They're thinking about maximum laughs. If we have something that is funny, they'll replace it. But if we don't, that's not going anywhere. He thought of that and thought he had to write too? We can't just act, we're hired to act, but we have to rewrite. We can't just think about ourselves, but everyone. What impact is this going to make? How can I show my face to my community? How is this going to impact other people? That's a lot of pressure.

Me: Your mom is in the film and right away she makes fun of you. Your mom feels different about Apu than you do. Why do you think that is?

Hari: My mom didn't like the character, but certainly she didn't feel the way that I felt when I was a kid. A part of that I think is she's trying to survive, she's a new immigrant, secondly the entitlement I felt as an American they didn't have. They were just happy they were there, creating a life for their kids, the idea that this was their home, it was still a fairly new idea. It took them a lot time to feel a sense this is home and they want this to be the best it could be, not for their kids, but for themselves, for their community. It took a minute and back then it didn't matter, who cares what they think of them, as long as they go to good schools. I think my mom started to feel bad when she saw that we were affected with these things... that we weren't being seen as equal. That's when I think it hit her more.

Me: I think it's odd you had Whoopi Goldberg on the film. You took about Abu with her about being a minstrel. How is he a minstrel?

Hari: I never thought about Apu as minstrel, but after that scene I had no choice not to think of him that way. When I see Hank Azaria doing that voice in person, when I see him without the guise of a cartoon then all of a sudden it's a white guy making fun of me. It's different all of a sudden, it no longer feels like a character. It feels like this is what the bullies did, it's no different. I love Whoopi in this film because she has a lot of important context, that this is from a larger legacy.

Me: There are a lot of other Indian characters you could of used for the film, Hari. Actually, why use Apu or a character at all? Why not just talk about how Indian people are used in movies and TV as a whole?

Hari: At the end of the day the Apu story is really about the larger story. Apu was our way into the conversation. But this is about representation in America, and I used my community because I know it well and I used Apu and "The Simpsons" because it's very recognizable. "The Simpsons" are this global phenomenon and Apu is a very notable character. At the end of the day it was about where did we come from as a country, what kind of things have we done.

Me: In the documentary you try to sit with Hank Azaria but that doesn't work out. If you could sit with him what would you say to him?

Hari: What does it feel like doing that voice now knowing there's a whole community that doesn't like it? Part of this was the hope that it was two adults having a thoughtful conversation about something. Maybe not coming up with a clear resolution but at least show that adults could tackle difficult things with words. Even it it doesn't makes a resolution it creates a better understanding. That's important, especially in this day and age. it's something as small as Apu, because in the film you hear a certain fury, but I'm a 36-year-old man that has other things to worry about. That's old fury, that's me projecting the fury of a 25 years because I'm playing catch-up. This is a story that hasn't been told, recently we haven't had the opportunity of sharing our real voice and stories, but ultimately I wanted a conversation. I wanted to show just how people criticized Americas, something people love, they criticize it because they love it. The same thing with "The Simpsons," I love "The Simpsons," I don't criticize it because I hate it, I criticize it because I expect more from it.

Me: How do you reconcile with this show you love so much?

Hari: It's the same way I reconcile with most of America. Knowing that it wasn't built for me and it wasn't built for people of color, but there's ways for me to enjoy it the way I can and force my way in. Throughout my childhood through the 80s and 90s, and after that is mostly white main characters. As a person of color who isn't represented I have to find ways to enjoy things that don't reflect my reality. If I don't I don't enjoy anything. I have too understand the stories, they're human and I'm human and even if this is not my story I can understand it on a human level. I could connect to certain emotions. It just means that maybe once or twice a show when Apu's on I cringe and I'm taken out of the show and I'm reminded that white people created this and wrote this in a way to make fun of me and my people. I have too swallow that and move on. Do I like doing that? No. It's why I made a movie about it, but that's what I have to do. That's what I have to do about a lot of the things I love. I like think we're in an era with a lot of information, we could get better. We could be better than we were. Not just with "The Simpsons," "The Simpsons" is 31-years-old, what happens happens. But the art we make now can be more exclusive and thoughtful. There's all these voices we haven't heard. Do you realize how many combinations of characteristics and stories and plots they could build if they opened it up? It's just foolish.

Me: Hari, I don't know what to say. Thanks so much for being on the Phile. Take care.

Hari: Thanks for having me, man, it's been great.





That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Hari Kondabolu for an interesting interview. The Phile will be back on Sunday with actor Zach Galifianakis. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.


































I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon

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