Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. What's up? The American people are finally ready to meet our extraterrestrial friends. No amount of "X-Files" reruns can fill the UFO-shaped void inside of our intergalactic hearts, and the current universe of trending memes proves it. After decades of anecdotes and alien conspiracy theories about Area 51, the remote Nevada-based military facility highly barred from the public, someone organized a public Facebook event get the people some answers. The brilliantly facetious event is titled "Storm Area 51, They Can't Stop All Of Us," and the event description sets out a simple objective, "We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Let’s see them aliens." The Naruto run references the running style of the anime character Naruto Uzumaki, who runs with his arms behind him and his body lunged forward to minimize wind resistance. At the time of writing this, over 500,000 people have clicked "attending" for the massive Area 51 invasion slated for September 20th. Area 51 is connected to California's Edwards Air Force Base, and is primarily used as a testing site for experimental plane technology and other top secret military projects. Conspiracy theorists and alien truthers have claimed the base has also been used to investigate a UFO that crashed in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. Naturally, the quickly rising popularity of the Facebook event has given the Internet the gift of countless new alien memes, a beautiful blessing we didn't know we needed, but we certainly need. Area 51, as with most military bases, is heavily guarded. The last (documented) alien truther to attempt to break in got immediately shot down in January. But the 500,000 are hoping the sheer numbers, aided by the Naruto sprint, would allow some survivors to see the aliens. In the rare case that some attendees took this seriously and showed up ready to invade, it's a pretty sure thing they'd be arrested, shot, or apprehended. The truth is out there, and we're all hoping to find it on September 20th.
Nothing compounds the physical and psychological torture that is air travel like getting publicly humiliated and told your outfit is too "inappropriate" to fly. This is exactly what happened to 37-year-old physician Tisha Rowe. She was flying with her 8-year-old son on American Airlines from Kingston, Jamaica, to Miami, on June 30th when she says a flight attendant asked to "speak to her" off the plane. After deboarding, she was told to "cover up" and when she refused, she says they threatened to not let her back on the plane. “I felt powerless,” Rowe told Buzzfeed. “There was nothing I could do in that moment other than give up my money and my seat to defend my position that I was completely appropriate.” She says the crew gave her a blanket which she used to cover herself on her way back to her seat, and that the whole experience left her feeling “humiliated." “To me, there was never an ounce of empathy, an ounce of apology, any attempt to maintain my dignity throughout the situation,” she told Buzzfeed. Rowe's son was, understandably, also humiliated by the experience. Rowe documented the degrading experience on Twitter and Facebook. In a Facebook post, Rowe called out American Airlines for policing and sexualizing her body. People on Twitter are calling out American Airlines for their cruel and unfair treatment of this woman, and pointing out that it's only natural to wear clothing with light coverage in scorching hot summer. Many are pointing out the levels of discrimination at work here. If Rowe was male, white, or had a different body type, this likely would not have happened. A spokesperson for American Airlines, Shannon Gilson, released this statement in which they claim to have reimbursed Rowe's flight cost and reached out directly to apologize, "We were concerned about Dr. Rowe’s comments, and reached out to her and our team at the Kingston airport to gather more information about what occurred. We want to personally apologize to Dr. Rowe and her son for their experience, and have fully refunded their travel. We are proud to serve customers of all backgrounds and are committed to providing a positive, safe travel experience for everyone who flies with us." Ah, yes, "positive," the word EVERYONE uses to describe air travel. Do better, American Airlines.
Luckily, the real Ariel is just as sweet as we imagined she'd be. Jodi Benson, OG Ariel in the 1989 The Little Mermaid, has finally spoken about the choice to cast Halle Bailey in the live-action remake and what she had to say is pretty amazing. "Bright young women, sick of swimmin', ready to stand?" Hell yes. Since the announcement of black singer and actress Halle Bailey portraying the redheaded pale skinned mythical creature of the sea, most people have been excited and supportive. After all, Halle is adorable and has the voice of an angel. However, the Internet can bring out the most hateful of hateful people and some even went as far as to make a petition against Halle. A petition. For a character that is half-fish... Fear not, though, Jodi Benson set the record straight at a convention in Florida when she showed her support for Halle. "The most important thing is to tell the story. And we have, as a family, we have raised our children, and for ourselves, that we don’t see anything that’s different on the outside. I think that the spirit of a character is what really matters. What you bring to the table in a character as far as their heart, and their spirit, is what really counts. And the outside package... 'cause let’s face it, I’m really, really old... and so when I’m singing ‘Part of Your World,’ if you were to judge me on the way that I look on the outside, it might change the way that you interpret the song. But if you close your eyes, you can still hear the spirit of Ariel. We need to be storytellers. And no matter what we look like on the outside, no matter our race, our nation, the color of our skin, our dialect, whether I’m tall or thin, whether I’m overweight or underweight, or my hair is whatever color, we really need to tell the story. And that’s what we want to do, we want to make a connection to the audience. So I know for Disney that they have the heart of storytelling, that’s really what they’re trying to do. They want to communicate with all of us in the audience so that we can fall in love with the film again." Jodi, princess of the land and sea, thank you for passing the Ariel torch with such grace.
Here's some sage advice I learned from my elders: if your "senior prank" involves swastikas and the N-word, then it's less of a prank and more of a hate crime. Last year, four white seniors at Glenelg High School in Maryland decided to decorate their school with slurs and racist images as a "joke" the day of graduation. The "art" included swastikas, penises, the letters "KKK," the F-word, and the N-word directed at Principal David Burton, who is black. According to The Washington Post, there was more than 100 pieces of graffiti, and the immediate reaction wasn't laughter, but fear. On the night of May 23rd, 2018, Josh Shaffer, Seth Taylor, Tyler Curtiss and Matthew Lipp were hanging out, watching the hockey game and planning their senior trip when they decided to do a senior prank. The Post says that the four teens contemplated supergluing locks and letting pigs loose before settling on vandalism. Police confronted the vandals the next day at the graduation ceremony. When played the footage, only Seth Taylor confessed, saying, "I was under the impression we were going to do a prank, and it got bad." The others denied it, and Tyler Curtiss even wished the police "good luck finding out who did it." They thought that having covered their faces with t-shirt masks, there's no way that they would get caught. They were, however, betrayed by their best friend: WiFi. Per The Post, "The school’s WiFi system requires students to use individual IDs to get online. After they log in once, their phones automatically connect whenever they are on campus. At 11:35 p.m. on May 23, the students’ IDs began auto-connecting to the WiFi. It took only a few clicks to find out exactly who was beneath those t-shirt masks." They were taken into custody and spent the night in jail. They were charged not only with vandalism and destruction of property, but a hate crime too. The vandals argued in court that they're not racist, they're just dumb. "I never really understood the symbol of the swastika. I knew it was wrong to plaster it somewhere. I didn’t learn exactly what [the Nazis] were doing to the Jews until I went to the Holocaust Museum. I never learned that they were mutilated. I knew that they were, like, burned. But I never learned that they had experiments done on them, were injected with diseases. The school didn’t include that. They just included the burning and the train cars," Taylor explained. "I spray paint one racist thing and, suddenly, I become a racist? Just because I did it doesn’t mean I hate Jews, gay people or black people." Taylor pleaded guilty to the hate crime because of the evidence, but still insists that he doesn't harbor any hate. The vandals were all sentenced to probation, community service, and varying number of weekends in jail. When their probations are over, they will be eligible to have the hate crimes expunged.
Women perpetuating sexism is a tale as old as time. Look no further than the 53% of white women who voted for Trump in 2016, and every woman who's ever described herself as "more of a guys' girl." I mean, you do you, honey. But if you're ruling out an entire gender that makes up more than half the human race, you might want to do some soul-searching. At the forefront of the women-hating-women movement is White House counselor Kellyanne Conway. Most recently, Conway used the terms "major meow moment" and "huge catfight" to describe Nancy Pelosi's dispute over border spending with four Democratic lawmakers, including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “Those four female Democrats that Nancy Pelosi is brushing back, I think they are all freshman members,” said Conway on (surprise!) Fox News. “A major ‘meow moment’... brushing back in a huge catfight, really ridiculing them... and they voted against the Democratic aid package.” Comparing women to cats is tired and sexist and reductive, and I'm not just saying that as a dog person. But don't take it from me. Take it from Democratic congresswoman AOC, who swiftly went to Twitter to do what she does best... shut down the bullshit.
She also followed up with tweets in response to people claiming Kellyanne Conway, a woman, can't be sexist. AOC has dropped so many mics in her brief time as congresswoman that I hope she has mic insurance. Congresswoman and fellow "squad" member Ayanna Presley also called out Conway for her sexist comment, calling her "Distraction Becky." Then AOC jumped in again to backup Presley and continued to lay in to Conway. "She may play games with people's lives, but we don't." At the center of the dispute is a supplemental border spending package which passed the House two weeks ago intended to address the growing humanitarian crisis at the U.S. border with Mexico, where people are dying and children are being kept in cages and being forced to drink toilet water. Many people in the progressive wing of the Caucus, including AOC and Ayanna Pressley, opposed the legislation on the grounds that it did not include restrictions meant to protect migrant children. On a somewhat related note, Kellyanne Conway seems like someone who could definitely benefit deeply from some soul-searching. I hope someone takes her away for a weekend on a lake somewhere with a bunch of gal pals and the movie Bridesmaids, then gets her drunk on margaritas and then strokes her hair while whispering softly in her ear "you are worth it. You are enough. Women are people. Quit your job."
Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...
Hmmm... maybe not. Do you like those 21 Jump Street movies? The 30th one is coming out soon...
Hahaha. That's so dumb. Do you guys know what manscaping is? I don't really but I think it's something like this...
I was thinking of getting a tattoo but someone had the same idea I had...
Damn them. Haha. If I had a TARDIS I would go to the set of the 60s TV show "The Green Hornet" but knowing my luck they'll be just on break.
You know who I think has a TARDIS? Madonna!
Crazy and eerie, right? Did you know Trump plays the accordion? No? Here's proof...
A few weeks ago Trump was in England and my fellow Brits sure had some clever anti-Trump protest signs...
Nice one. Ivanka Trump has been all over history interfering...
See? Hahahaha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...
You know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's some stuff that happens in Florida that could happen elsewhere but has more chance of happening in Florida.
Social media may be "ruining society" according to a lot of people's grandparents. But it's also a pretty helpful tool for spotting racists and publicly shaming them. Incidentally, a lot of those racists are also people's grandparents... kinda makes you think, hmmm? Recently, two elderly white ladies were spotted in a Burger King in Central Florida being racist towards a man who they overheard speaking Spanish. That man turned out to be the manager. Some nearby customers were filming the incident and posted the video online where it's gone viral. "Go back to Mexico," says one of the women. "If you want to keep speaking Spanish, go back to your Mexican country." She then continues, “this is America. Our main language is English. Speak your Mexican at home.” It's too bad racism is such a toxic and dangerous force destroying so many people's lives, because otherwise its sheer stupidity would be straight-up hilarious. You can't help but laugh at the ignorance of the old women in this video, especially since justice is served. The manager, who is Puerto Rican not Mexican, calls the women "ignorant" and demands they leave the restaurant. “Freedom of speech, ma’am," he says. "Guess what, ma’am, I’m not Mexican. You’re being very prejudiced and I want you out of my restaurant right now.” One of the women says she wants to finish her meal first but the manager threatens to call the police and report them as trespassers, so they finally leave. “Just have a nice day and don’t come back,” he says. Unfortunately this isn't the first time a white person has aired their racist views in a public place, berating strangers for how they look, dress or speak. And it sadly probably won't be the last. But at least these hateful grannies won't be enjoying a whopper at this particular Burger King anytime soon. And if they refuse to eat anywhere that employs people who speak multiple languages, they're going to starve. And that, my friends, is Darwinism at work.
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so there's this guy who claims he's the toughest man in the world... I don't really believe it. He wanted to come back on the Phile to prove how tough he is so once again here is...
Me: Hey, Martin, how are you?
Martin Masculinity: Call me Mr. Masculinity, and I am great.
Me: So, what's new?
Martin Masculinity: I am working as a lifeguard at a summer camp. During safety training we had to do a missing persons search which required all available staff to join hands and walk from the beach to into the water as far as we could while feeling with our feet for the missing swimmer.
Me: You had to find a real person?
Martin Masculinity: No. During training there was a sandbag we had to find.
Me: Okay. And?
Martin Masculinity: I kept insisting on holding mine in a certain way because I will always take the upper hand in this situation.
Me: Oooh. How did the others react?
Martin Masculinity: Some guy said to me, "Whatever, dude. We're theoretically looking for a drowned child right now." I would've saved the kid.
Me: I figured. Martin Masculinity, the toughest man alive, kids. I don't think that's true but oh well. It kills time. Haha.
Eclipse
What an English barber does for a living.
Don’t worry, he’s not an actual zombie, he only looks and feels and moves and thinks like one.
One of the best (worst) things about online dating, is you never really know who will end up sitting across from you. Will they be your soulmate? Probably not. Will they be someone whose parents didn't raise them right? Highly likely. As most online daters can attest to, you have to go on a lot of dates with a lot of frogs before you find the frog that you want to share your Netflix password with. A Phile named Darius shared his story about a very bad date in an email he sent me. This guy needed my help... not just in determining if he's an asshole or not, but also in helping him figure out what plan-of-action to take. He needed advice so badly that he posted his query from the bar where the date took place, shortly after it ended.
The guy said that his date had just walked out when he suggested splitting the bill. He wrote, "Jason, would I be wrong if I give the restaurant the name and phone number of my Tinder date who LITERALLY JUST got up and left after the meal when it came up that we should split the check?" He explained, "I'm sitting here now trying to decide what to do. She and I never discussed this dinner being my treat, and this is the place she suggested. I have half a mind to separate the checks, pay mine and leave her info on her check for the restaurant to sort out. Technically she dined and dashed. I'm going to preemptively tell you now this wasn't because I tried to get laid by just buying dinner and I'm not a creep. Edit: in our conversations I suggested coffee for our first meet up. For those wondering. He does NOT in fact owe her dinner, and he has every right to give the restaurant her name and number so she can pay for her portion. BUT THERE'S MORE. According to an update to his original email he revealed that karma swooped in to enact justice, so he didn't have to! He wrote, "Update: SWEET KARMIC JUSTICE! Upon moving to the bar and talking to the bartender I found out that this girl had an open tab before I arrived. She LEFT HER DRIVER'S LICENSE AT THE BAR. According to the bartender she's a shitty tipper and she's probably next door trying to get free drinks at the pool hall. Since her tab was open and she's probably coming back anyway, he agreed to move her food items over to her tab. He said, 'Fuck it it's not like she's gonna tip me anyways.' So, there you have it. And the lesson is: don't be an asshole, don't walk out on your dates for shitty reasons, and ALWAYS TIP YOUR SERVERS. Karma may be a bitch, but she's the best bitch in town. And you want her on your side.
The 101st book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Andrea will be the guest on the Phile tomorrow. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...
Top Phive Pieces Of Advice For Northerners Visiting The South
5. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel-drive pickup truck with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.
3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular, "All y'all" is plural, and "All y'alls'" is plural possessive.
2. Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
And the number one piece of advice when you visit the south is...
1. You may hear a Southerner say "Oughta!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Jim Bouton
March 8th, 1939 — July 10th, 2019
He invented Big League Chew. Remember that? Strands of bubble gum, that came in a pouch that made you feel like a real big time ball player chewing tobacco. Sure... they lost flavor in like four seconds, but that was a glorious four seconds. You felt yourself right up there on the mound, ready to deliver a smoking fastball right over the plate to win game 7 of the World Series. It was transformational. And Jim invented it. Anyway, he's dead.
Today's guest is an interesting one... is an American actor, stuntman, and fight choreographer. Please welcome to the Phile... Anthony De Longis.
Me: Hey, Anthony, welcome to the Phile. You have to be one of the most interesting guests I ever had on here. How are you?
Anthony: Thanks, Jason, I'm good.
Me: So, were you into movies growing up?
Anthony: My mother was a cinamaphile, I got my love of movies from her. She said I chose the most heartbreaking profession in the world. The question she asked me was am I getting paid? She gave me the love for music and that's gave me the love of the classics from the 30s, 40s and 50s. In particular liked noir and I liked westerns. My dad was a Technicolor inspector for several years and was a friend of Walt Disney. When I visited him in the summer he would get these 16 mm prints of classic Disney cartoons like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Dumbo and Song of the South. I remember we screened Song of the South. You don't get to see that much anymore. What do I know, I was a kid, but I don't remember any racist overtones. Uncle Remus was the coolest character in there. He was the only one who had any sense.
Me: Did you have a favorite actor back then?
Anthony: Basil Rathbone, I was a fan of those old swashbuckler movies.
Me: Were you a Disney fan?
Anthony: I loved Disney for their features. I remember discovering Fantasia in college when we were getting into all sort of stuff. I was like look at those colors. I was a bigger fan of Warner Bros. cartoons, like Chuck Jones, Friz Freleng and the other animators over there. Even as a kid I thought I I don't think these characters are for kids. Popeye was an interesting odd thing, the early ones were enormously crude by still sort of funny. Funny, I haven't thought this in quite awhile, a buddy of mine and I were huge fans of Warner Bros. I certainly loved Daffy, I was really appalled in the 70s and 80s when they basically turned him into Elmer Fudd. No, no, no, that's not Daffy. The original Daffy was he was DAFFY. I'd always get depressed over Wile E. Coyote because I thought stop buying from Acme. It reminds me too much for a metaphor of a career show business... we work, we work, we work and a big rock falls on our head. Haha.
Me: Hahaha. How did you get into acting?
Anthony: I started at the Old Globe in San Diego and I graduated from California State University in Northridge. I won't say that was a waste of time because that's where my craft started. My mother said, "You should have something to fall back on."
Me: Okay, so, I have to ask, what's with the swords in the publicity pic?
Anthony: Ha. That grew out of my work as a story teller. Trying to create more skills for myself and more confidence and physical persona and presence with all the martial arts that I've studied. It became the parallel career with fight coordinating and being a weapons expert. I get to help other actors with their character driven action opportunities. To me there's stunts, the high risk stuff, like falling off buildings, being set on fire, have cars run us over, stuff like that. That's definitely for the skilled professional.
Me: So, what was your first voice over role, Anthony, and how did you get it?
Anthony: It was for Starchaser: The Legend of Orin. I met the animator named Louise Zingarelli, who I had lost touch with. I don't remember how we met. I think someone said she does this, you have a great voice. Louise met me and we did kind of a voice sample because I didn't know how to do that stuff at that time. I had a range of voices with the stuff I'd done in drama school when I started working at the Old Globe and I did a lot more plays in those days. She liked my look and she actually modeled my character Zygon, you can tell it's me which is kind of flattering.
Me: What was it like working on that film?
Anthony: Starchaser was a whole bunch of fun, and I had no idea we were breaking ground. It's never been done before.
Me: So, do you do a lot of comic book conventions? I imagine that you do.
Anthony: We did the PowerCon convention in Long Beach, which was the 30th anniversary for Masters of the Universe. I don't go to too many of these, but this was the 30th anniversary. We had a very nice time and my wife and I did a weapons demo. When I go these things I like to do something. I'm happy to interact and sit and sign things but I'd rather be able to tell stories. I bring a variety of weaponry in and we talk about the film.
Me: I have only seen bits and pieces of Masters of the Universe. Who did you play in the film?
Anthony: I played Blade, the double-swordsman, and trained Dolph Lundgren, so he could focus on his performance. He wasn't going to hurt me, so we could make something happen together. That was a very good experience.
Me: That's cool. For some reason I thought you were Skeletor... I was wrong, right?
Anthony: Well, the stunt coordinator said, "You're gonna double for Frank Langella." I kept saying to the coordinator, "So, when can I get down and see the location?" He said, "Ah, we're going to have lots of time. We're gonna be done there for weeks... blah, blah, blah." We get down there and the first thing we shoot is the fifth scene. We had about an hour, I grabbed Dolph and said, "Remember that stuff I taught you about a month ago? We're going to do this, and this and this." That was the first fight scene. When I got to be Skeletor it was supposed to be a fight with his staff of power and He-Man had his sword. I said, "I'm going to be fighting as Skeletor, right?" I put together this fight, which was a good little fight. Right before we were about to shoot it they said, "No, this is after the transformation." So, I'm in boots that don't fit and on the set that was the biggest set in Hollywood. I think it was the biggest set that's ever been built. It was covered with this thin film of oil because of all the smoke we were using. It was nice and slippery. Then I had this head gear on that if I put my arm under the eyes and make it flat I couldn't see anything lower than that, so I can't see my feet. Then I got on head gear that looks like it has elk horns higher than the New York skyline. I said all that manipulating the staff over my head is out the window. Once again we took an hour to put something else together and do that fight.
Me: What do you think of the film, sir?
Anthony: Well, I'm surprised how much that film holds up. It held itself an audience. There are parts of it that are really good. Everything is practical. There is a part where I cut through a fence, they gave it a quick spray of liquid nitrogen and said, "Quick, cut through the fence."
Me: The film wasn't successful, right? Otherwise they'd be a whole series of them. Why do you think that is?
Anthony: I didn't find out until years later that Cannon was going out of business. There was a day that the crew hadn't been paid and they were going to walk. The director, Gary Goddard, talked to everybody and said we are here, and we'll have the money by the end of the day. He said while we were here can we get the day because they couldn't afford to lose a day. The crew said okay, we shot and got the day. It ended up being Mattel who ended up boning up the money. I think we were the first film that had what is now the Marvel tag line, a scene that is after the credits, because Skeletor comes up out of the primal ooze or lava or whatever the hell it was and said, "I'll be back." We had no idea this was going on, we were just trying to make a movie. Gary and his gang deserve more credit, because despite the conflict, making any movie, getting it financed, getting it finished and getting it made and on the screen is someway the most creative aspect of the business. It's hard enough at the best of times, but when obstacles are constantly shown in the path... So, I come to appreciate everybody's contribution and sacrifice to get it made.
Me: We have to talk about The Chipmunk Adventure film. You played Klaus the villain in that film. I am a huge Alvin and the Chipmunks fan but never seen that film. Was it a fun movie to make?
Anthony: It was a fun couple of days doing our voices. Again Louise Zingarelli brought me in. I'm sorry I hadn't been brought back to do any of the other Chipmunk things but frankly they haven't asked.
Me: How did you come up with the voice for Klaus?
Anthony: I looked at the line of dialogue. The way Louise drew him with those big droopy eyes and their sense of entitlement and superiority I just said, "How about this one?"
Me: You were in Road House, which is a very popular movie, but I never saw it. Haha. What was it like working with Sam Elliott in that film?
Anthony: Sam was terrific. What you see is what you get with him. He's very much upfront, he's very much that guy, a real straight shooter. He respects the people that he's working with and who are helping him look great. I have the world of redact for him. I wish we get to work together more often.
Me: What was it like being in that movie?
Anthony: It is my cult movie. There's a joke in my family Road House is always playing somewhere on TV. I have a whole fight scene going on while Marshall Teague and Sam Elliott are fighting, Patrick and I are fighting yet again at the at the bar right in front of Ben Gazzara. I have some stills to prove it, but it didn't make it into the cut, I guess they thought I got beat up enough by Patrick.
Me: Did you choreograph those fight scenes?
Anthony: Ummmm... no. That was more Benny Urquidez. Benny was a very famous martial artist and fighter. He was the real deal.
Me: What was your audition like for the film or did you have to audition?
Anthony: I sat in the room with the actors who were sucking up all of the oxygen. I was waiting my turn and I had the briefest moment to try to create something memorable to get me hired. My introduction as I walked into the room was, "Hey, here's another blackbelt."
Me: Did you get hurt at all with those fight scenes?
Anthony: There was a scene where Patrick drags me outside and takes my boot off and there's some fisticuffs, he was making a lot of contact with the body, which is fine. I said, "Patrick, I like the contact, but stop digging up into my solar plexus because it's unpleasant. We're creating an illusion here, Patrick, it's not the real thing." He and Marshall just kicked the crap out of each other in their scene where Marshall got his throat ripped out. Somewhere on the line there was a misunderstanding. I heard a story once where someone said to Patrick, "Marshall thinks you're a wussy." Anyway, at the end of the scene Patrick said to me, "I love working with you, its like dancing." I was like yeah. Haha.
Me: In your roles that you played you have done a lot of different accents, Anthony. Do you like to do accents? I wish I could do an accent... I can't even get a British one right. Haha.
Anthony: I always loved accents as an actor because accents changes my rhythm. It helps me become a different character. A couple years back I was going into read for something and my theatrical agent managed to get me an audition. This is a goofy business. I have a body of work that I'm very proud of, I've been involved with some wonderful projects and had terrific opportunities, but I've never had a television show or won a role that is high profile enough to get catapulted into the stratosphere of that they call "star names." Anyway, I've done the read and they said to the casting director I also do a lot of different accents, would you like me to do one? She said, "No, no, no, we are casting all over the world and we don't want to offend anyone. We are casting the real thing." I couldn't help myself and said, "You used to hire actors." I'm thinking she might want to mention that to Meryl Streep, or the long list of actors that flew into my mind but I could tell it was a losing argument. One of the things about having a craft is I can transform myself into a different character and one of the ways of doing that is I change how I speak vocally. Goodness knows Gary Oldman makes a very good American. There's a whole lot of Americans over here who when they are on the screen are not going an American accent. Anyway, I was lamenting the fact that she gets to make the decisions on who gets hired. Haha.
Me: Ha. Okay, so, I have to talk about Batman Returns as readers know I am a big Batman fan. What was it like working on that film?
Anthony: It was one of my favorites, especially because of Michelle Pfeiffer. My agent called me and said to me, "Do you want to teach Michelle Pfeiffer how to use the whip?" I said, "Duh." I went in and I showed the coordinator who was Max Kleven out at this little grassy area at the back lot at Warner Bros. He liked what I saw and he took me straight to meet Tim Burton and Michelle who was there for one of her first wardrobe tests, and Tim said, "I'm thinking about giving Catwoman a cat and nine tails." I said, "Please don't, because with a cat and nine tails all you could do is hit with it." It's a flogger and it has a whole lot of baggage I would say. Mostly it's very limited. She could pose, she could look sexy, she could hit something with it. I said here's what I do with the whip and I showed them my system I was deviling at the time. I actually created a more efficient, more creative, more accurate, more compatible viable system of the whip. I view the whip as a flexible blade, I utilize it like a sword, I stand behind it, I never put the whip behind me like most people do. What it does for a performer it becomes about the performer and not about the whip. I'm always working by the confounds of my own body. Anyway, they saw all that and I pretty much had the job.
Me: How long was her training, and how was it?
Anthony: Almost 6 weeks. It helped her a lot because she was working in 5 inch heels all the time. By lowering her center of gravity, by getting her to work from her core, gave her a stability to flow because the whip is all about flow. At least the way I do it. She said to me, "This wouldn't be as effective of you weren't an actor." She saw I was trying to give her another language, another layer to her performance. I continued to train her throughout the shoot. We got that initial training time because they were shooting Danny Devito, which was great for us because she developed such a strong foundation of technique.
Me: So, Indiana Jones has a whip as well. What do you think of how he uses it?
Anthony: Well... Harrison called me up and asked me to come in and prep him for Indiana Jones. He could see the difference with what I was doing with the whip and I got to train him for about 4 weeks. I didn't get to go with them through the whole film so we weren't able to create stuff on the spot. Harrison did it all, to his credit, but at the same time it drive me crazy that in the big fight scene at the end he's literally stumbling over his whip and I'm thinking the other end of the whip makes a mighty fine equalizer. He does pick up a log and I thought why didn't he pick up the whip. I also had this feeling, the whip is 5000-years-old, every culture with domesticated animals had a whip so it's old. I always wanted to whisper into Steven Spielberg's ear Indiana should brush the dust off some archaic piece of stone or pottery and there's somebody with a whip. This is his iconic character action prop. They wanted to just give the handle and CGI it, but I said don't make that decision right away. They weren't much into repeating what we've done and they were pushing to something that hadn't already been done. That's something I'm proud of, I created something out of a tool that's 5000-years-old.
Me: Anthony, that's so cool. Thanks so much for being on the Phile. You had an amazing career, with so many things. Like I said, you're one of the most interesting person I interviewed on the Phile. Please come back again, sir.
Anthony: Thanks, Jason. Take care.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Anthony De Longis for an interesting interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with author Andrea Warner. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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