Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile. How have you been? I am good. For now. Monday is my favorite day of the week to not be asked how my weekend was. Did you watch the Grammys last night? I didn't. But I will say congratulations to this year's Grammy nominees on increasing the possibility of people actually paying for your music. The Grammys are a great way to get to know the bands from your favorite car commercial.
Our post-reality civilization makes it too exhausting to keep calling politicians out on this kind of garbage. How important is the legacy of the greatest president this country ever had, anyway? Let's just try to enjoy whatever time we have left before Trump starts World War III.
Speaking of tweets... Betsy DeVos has been the head of the Department of Education for less than a week and already things are going downhill. Two days ago, the DOE tweeted this...
It's a nice quote and all, but they misspelled W.E.B. Du Bois' name. And sure, everybody makes mistakes. But Du Bois is not only one of the most well-known and well-regarded educators of the last century, he's also the first African American man to receive a doctorate from Harvard, and it's Black History Month. So this is the kind of thing that they should probably get right. What's crazy, is that they haven't even deleted and re-posted a corrected tweet yet. Du Bois was one of the co-founders of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), was a prolific writer, and a civil rights activist who fought against Jim Crow laws, lynching and discrimination in education and employment. In short, he deserves better than to have his name misspelled by a federal department. This is the latest in the White House's Black History Month blunders, which also included Trump's attempt at a speech honoring black Americans while revealing he doesn't know if Frederick Douglass is dead or alive, Sean Spicer also revealing he doesn't know who Douglass is, and Pence celebrating white man Abraham Lincoln. This has been your daily reminder that what's happening in the White House is not normal and not good.
A woman named Tracy Proctor from the U.K. says her house is haunted by a "protective" man-hating ghost who has chased away all her boyfriends and male visitors for the past 14 years, the "Daily Mail" reports. The 52-year-old caregiver said the spirit moves items like keys and e-cigarettes around her home (maybe it's just trying out a healthier alternative to smoking?). But even creepier, it keeps pulling down the underwear of her antique dolls. That's messed up, ghost. But the worst part? "Many men have been driven out from my home," says the mother-of-two. Both of her sons, Glynn, 31, and Alec, 24, moved out because of the ghost, she claims. And her current and former boyfriends have reportedly had ghostly "encounters" as well. "It does seem to affect the males around me because of what has happened with my sons and partners," Proctor told the "Daily Mail." "It has definitely stopped me having relationships and if I meet someone then I know what is going to happen and that I am not going to see them again if they come back to mine." So, why doesn't she just call the Ghostbusters or an exorcist? Or move? Good questions. And that's because this story has a twist. Proctor revealed that while all of her exes have left her because of the ghost, she's actually gotten "used to it." She said, "But for me it's quite a nice feeling actually because when I am feeling low, I can feel like a cloak coming over me and it is like the spirit is protecting me. Other people might not be interested in it and think that I am quite crazy but it seems to have looked after me while I have been in this house and nothing bad has ever happened." Ah ha! It seems to me like Tracy is developing feelings for this ghost. And no judgment here. You love who you love. Besides, all these living, breathing men have ghosted Tracy, but the actual ghost has stuck around. Sounds like a keeper.
For most, Sunday is hardly considered a "day of rest." While many spend Sunday catching up on work, preparing for the week ahead, or even... gasp!... relaxing, two representatives from North Dakota argued that women should be catering to their husbands on their day off. Lawmakers from North Dakota convened to discuss the state's Blue Laws... statewide laws that uphold a "religious standard" by requiring some businesses to open late on Sunday mornings and others to stay closed altogether. As most of the state completely shuts down on Sunday, many residents are asking for the archaic law to to repealed. Representatives Bernie Satrom and Vernon Laning defended the laws on very sexist grounds. Satrom argued that Sundays are for spending time with your husband, "making him breakfast, bringing it to him in bed and then after that go take your kids for a walk." Laning added that his wife has no problems spending his hard earned money six-and-a-half days a week, and he doesn't think it "hurts at all to have a half day off." Ah yes, the ol' "man work and make money, woman spend it" ideology. It is almost as archaic as these two fossils. What, are these two trying to give Donald Trump a run for his money? Repealing the Blue Laws would mean that people could shop on Sundays, but this men are somehow so sexist that they even reject the idea of their wives running errands if it means they won't be serving them pancakes. When "Valley News Live" contacted Laning about his comments, he argued that he was just telling a joke, and that and that anyone who is upset lacks a sense of humor. Hilarious. What's next? "Jokingly" telling a woman to make you a sandwich?
Does this dress look like a vagina, or are you just a pervert?
A woman named Sam bought a dress, and when she showed it to her husband, he pointed out that it kind of looked like a bunch of vaginas. From that point on, she couldn't look at it the same way again. Sam posted about it on her popular parenting/lifestyle blog, School Mum, where thousands of commenters corroborated her husband's observation in what is becoming this year's hottest vaginal viral phenomenon. Here's the dress online, in case you want to buy it...
Do you see it?
Hey, so, you know Nordstrom dropped Ivanka Trump's clothing, shoes, and jewelry citing low sales, because many woman don't want to see the word "Trump" even more than they have to or slide into an outfit they know the Donald thinks is sexy. Well, people are boycotting Nordstrom and here's a plc of the boycott...
Hahaha. So, I mentioned Republicans tweeted a fake Abraham Lincoln quote, well they also sent out this pic as well with another fake Lincoln quote...
And they didn't stop there...
Haha. Trump is in the Oval office again and I think he just showed he signed yet another executive order... lets see.
Nope. I was wrong. That's an impressive collection though. Ha. Hey, did you see the movie John Wick 2 this weekend? I haven't seen the first one yet, but apparently Disney is releasing a sequel of their own which I also haven't seen the first one...
Poor Wicket. So, I saw this pic of Beyoncé from the Grammys and it reminded me of something.
Then it hit me...
Mother Nature from The Santa Clause movie. So, there's a lot of Trump products out there and not all are flattering. Like this one for instance...
SayItWithACondom.com to create the number one, must-have item for your next night out... a Donald Trump-inspired condom. While the product itself is just an ordinary condom, the bright, Republican red packaging touts a lovely portrait of the presidential hopeful with the quote, "I'm HUUUUGE!" on the front. The one thing everyone wants to hear (loudly) when they're getting in the mood. "These condoms are 'tremendous'... not really, they're standard-sized," says the website. But even so, they are just as effective in preventing disease and pregnancy. Even Trump can get on board with that. Valentine's Day is tomorrow and you might still be trying to figure out what to get your loved one. Well, how about this?
The Heart Gelatin Mold makes it easy to give someone your whole heart. Now you can sit back and watch while they devour it with delight. It's perfect for lovebirds, med school students, and aspiring cannibals. And here's a real vintage, yet kinda creepy Valentine's Day card you can print out and give to someone...
A battle to the death for your heart. Alright, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Other Phake Abraham Lincoln Quotes Tweeted By The Republicans
5. Y'all haters corny with that Illuminati mess.
4. Well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
3. G's up, hoes down.
2. I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear.
And the number one Lincoln fake quote tweeted by the Republicans is...
1. My mom and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt, but she lost us betting on the Podraces.
A man left Wisconsin for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip in New York and planned to fly down to meet him the next day. When the man arrived in Florida he e-mailed his wife to let her know he had arrived, but accidentally sent it to the wrong e-mail address. Instead of going to his wife his e-mail went to the inbox of a woman whose husband had just passed away. When the grieving widow opened her e-mail she screamed and fainted. Her son rushed into the room and found this message displayed on her computer screen, "My darling wife: I just checked in, everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing you again. Your loving husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
The Oscars are a few weeks away so I thought it would be fun to give you some Oscar facts so you have something to talk about at your Oscars party. Kathryn Bigelow is the first woman to win the Oscar as best director for The Hurt Locker and only the fourth woman to ever receive a nomination. She beat ex-husband James Cameron's Avatar. This is the first time former spouses compete for the same award.
March 12th, 1940 — February 12th, 2017
Looks like we're in this love all on our own now.
The Batmobile is a safe and reliable vehicle, despite being American-made.
"Panstylistic" is available now on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile from Primal Static... G. T. and HouFei.
G.T.: Doing good, thanks.
Me: Okay, so, I have to ask right away... what does "Panstylistic" mean? Which one of you came up with that word?
G.T.: Well, the word means many styles, which I read somewhere and it stuck, cause that is the essence of the band.
Me: This is not your first EP, am I right?
G.T.: Yeah, we released another called "In The Surface."
Me: So, how long has Primal Static been a band?
HouFei: Seven years, but we haven't had the necessary resources to tour in the truest sense til recently.
Me: G.T., you came up with the name, am I right? How did you come up with the name?
G.T.: It's an expression that came to me, you know this primal urge within all of us to live out our truth.
Me: I have to ask... what does G.T. stand for?
G.T.: Simply the initials of my name.
Me: Where are you from, man?
G.T.: I'm from the east coast.
Me: You currently live in Austin, right?
G.T.: Oh yeah. Great weather, vibes and food.
Me: HouFei, where are you from?
HouFei: Originally from China.
Me: So, how did you two meet?
HouFei: I saw G.T.'s ad for a bassist/keyboardist when I was going to Peabody and it turned out we lived a block away from each other.
Me: HouFei, how long have you been in the states?
HouFei: A long time, over 10 years.
Me: What's the first state you came to?
Me: Was it a culture shock for you?
HouFei: Definitely. I grew up in a huge city in China full of concrete buildings. I loved Austin. So many trees, birds and squirrels.
Me: Do you go back to China often?
HouFei: Yes. At least once a year.
Me: Okay, you play keyboard and bass, right? What came first?
HouFei: I started out on piano. I play keyboard and keyboard bass, one hand for each.
Me: How old were you when you started to play the keyboards?
HouFei: I started playing piano at 4.
Me: Is there a certain piano player or band you listened to growing up?
HouFei: I was brought up classical, listening to a lot of pianists, but I heard a lot of different kinds of music blaring from radios and was always soaking that in as well.
Me: So, G.T,, how old were you when you first started to play guitar?
Me: Who were your influences growing up?
G.T.: Honestly, whatever my older brother was listening to. He had a job delivering papers and would spend every cent on music and just had loads of albums. Also this hippy dude lived next door and would bring out these refrigerator-sized speakers and blast out rock of all description. So I don't really know all of them. Anything that was vital and rebellious. I remember distinctly staring at "Axis Bold As Love," by Hendrix and thinking it was the coolest looking album I'd ever seen. When I put it on, it was just a new universe. It wasn't just the guitar playing either, it was everything, the skies were different. I can certainly say for the blues, Robert Johnson really stuck out. His singing and lyrics really stunned me. I had read about him when I was going through a Zeppelin addiction and I wanted to know their roots. It was raining and I got the vinyl. As soon as the needle hit the record, life changed. You know albums are like that, the ones that truly touch you. I had that experience with other styles as well, Django Rheinhart to Gustav Mahler.
Me: So, when you met did it take long for you to form the band?
G.T.: I think it was like 2 years in the making.
Me: You kids have toured the country playing... is there a favorite show you played?
G.T.: I'd have to say it's a tie between Radio Room in Greenville, South Carolina, which we had no idea how it was going to turn out and it was just magic. Just this great warm feeling and communication. The other was The Viper Room, which was theatrical with curtains and such great rapport.
Me: Is it just you two on tour playing?
G.T.: We consider our electronic aspect to be the third element, then the audience if it's one of those nights.
Me: HouFei, you saw a lot of America now... what do you think? Do you have a favorite state?
HouFei: When you drive so much, you really are struck by how vast and beautiful this country is. I don't have a favorite state, yet.
Me: I have to ask... have you eaten at Panda Express? What do you think of that so-called Chinese food?
HouFei: That's to be avoided like the plague.
Me: Okay, let's talk about your music... so, who does the songwriting?
G.T.: I do, yet it's strange to say. I prefer the word channeling.
Me: HouFei, is there anything G.T. wrote that you didn't like?
HouFei: No. Over the years, he never fails to surprise me. G.T. is a phenomenal musician and poet. I absolutely admire him.
Me: How long did it take you to record "Panstylistic"?
G.T.: About 3 weeks.
Me: You made a few cool videos for your last EP... will you be making any for this EP?
G.T.: We're in the process of that. It's really the new radio isn't it?
Me: Yeah, I guess so. There's a song on the EP called "Sophia"... is that about anyone in particular?
G.T.: No, no one in particular.
Me: Will you be touring again behind this new EP?
HouFei: Oh, yes. We're really excited. Our spring tour starts on March 30th.
Me: G.T., if you could share the stage with anybody who would it be?
G.T.: At this point diggin the band Foals.
Me: HouFei, I'll ask you the same question. Who would you like to share the stage with?
Me: Do you think you'll be going over to China to play?
G.T.: We go where the winds take us. Not if the government gets involved and censor us though.
Me: It's cool you two met and are making great music together... is this your first band, you two?
G.T.: I've been in loads, but this one really clicks.
HouFei: This is the one and only for me.
Me: I have to ask... who did the bass logo and artwork? What does it mean?
G.T.: Two really talented artists, Damian Gullo and Samantha Wendell. Our initials are intertwined with esoteric figures.
Me: Ahhhh. Alright, go ahead and mention your website and anything else you want. Will you come back when your next release comes out?
HouFei: Our website is PrimalStatic.com, you can sign up for our mailing list there and get a free song. We are also on Facebook, SoundCloud, Twitter, find us and stay in touch. It be our pleasure to come back!
Me: All the best and good luck, you guys. I hope this was fun. Keep rocking.
G.T.: Thank you!
HouFei: Thank you!
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to the kids from Primal Static. Okay, the Phile will be back tomorrow with the first A Peverett Phile Valentine with singer Jetty Rae. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker