Hey, kids, what's up. Welcome to a late Phile for a Tuesday. How are you? Are you excited about the Olympics? The Rio 2016 Olympics are almost here, and even though the athletes are highly discouraged from juicing, that doesn't mean the local drug dealers can't use the event to brand their wares. Fans planning on staying alert for even the lesser events can look forward to this cocaine!
Complete with the Olympic rings and "Rio 2016" logo (perfect for collectors and people who are unsure what year it is), this bag of drugs comes with a warning: "Use Away From Children." Thank you, responsible drug dealers! Sometimes when you get all yayed out, it can be hard to remember that illegal drugs are for adults only.
Hank and Helen Kawecki officially take the prize for having the worst grandson ever. They are being evicted from their home in Thousand Oaks, a community just outside Los Angeles, because their grandson sold it out from under them to cover his own debts. He's pretty much the definition of human garbage. What had happened was that Hank and Helen ran into some money trouble, and they asked their grandson how they would go about getting a loan. He said he would take care of it for them. They give him the deed to the house, and he proceeded to con the most adorable elderly couple ever out of thousands of dollars, and ultimately their home. Doug Emerson, their neighbor, first tipped Hank and Helen off about their monster grandson. He noticed realtors showing the house while the grandson took Hank and Helen out for a Sunday afternoon drive. He did some investigating and told Fox's "Good Day LA," "He [the grandson] took out a loan of $360,000 then he took out another loan for $65,000. Then, he went to another mortgage broker, packaged those and took out another loan for $47,400 and he didn’t make any payments on that. That started the foreclosure going." Now the couple is forced to come up with the money or vacate the house. Emerson started a GoFundMe page to help Hank and Helen out, but they haven't raised enough to stay in the home. A judge is reviewing their case to potentially extend their eviction. Charges have been brought against the grandson, who nobody has heard from since Hank and Helen received their eviction notice. Hank is holding out hope. He said, "I’m hoping something will happen that we can get it [the house] back. I don’t know how, but you never know. Maybe the man upstairs will help us out." Stop Hank, you're breaking our hearts. Unfortunately, this isn't unique to Hank and Helen. Financial fraud is the number one type of abuse against the elderly, and it's usually from someone they know personally, just like Hank and Helen's good-for-nothing grandson. Here's hoping he gets what's coming to him.
Get ready to retch because, according to new research, cockroach milk is going to be the superfood of the future. Did you even know cockroaches produce milk? Are you disgusted now that you do know? The Pacific beetle cockroach, the only species of cockroach that gives birth to live babies, makes a sort-of-milk-type-thing to feed its embryos before they are born. A group of scientists in India have discovered that cockroach milk is four times as nutritious as cow's milk, and they believe it could be an effective protein supplement. Sanchari Banerjee, the head of this useful (if nightmarish) study, told "Times of India," "The crystals are like a complete food... they have proteins, fats and sugars. If you look into the protein sequences, they have all the essential amino acids."Another scientist, Professor Ramaswamy, said of the bug secretions, "It's time-released food. If you need food that is calorifically high, that is time released and food that is complete, this is it." Rather than trying to milk the cockroaches directly (retch), scientists are trying to find a way to replicate the protein crystals in the lab. So you can put away your tiny bucket and tell the kids they can sleep in: no milking the cockroaches for them just yet.
We can not achieve equality in society until women can do the jobs men can do. Like robbing banks. Yes, people still do that, apparently. And more of those people are now women. In 2015, about 7.5 percent of all bank robberies in the U.S. were committed by women, the "Orlando Sentinel" reports. That's up from about 6 percent in 2005... a 25 percent rise, according to recent FBI statistics. Of course, there are still way more Clydes than Bonnies, but at least that's changing. Feminism! But before you toast the death of the patriarchy, experts say the reason more women are robbing banks is because the "nature of crime has changed." Essentially, it's gotten less violent and dangerous. “You don’t have to brandish a gun... you don’t have to even have a gun,” said Darrell Steffensmeier, liberal arts research professor of sociology and criminology at Penn State University. “You can just pass them the note. That’s huge.” Passing a note might not sound as gangster as brandishing a gun and taking hostages. But at least it's cleaner, safer, and achieves the same ultimate goal: gettin' that bling.
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Florida congresswoman and outgoing Democratic National Committee chair, was loudly booed on at a breakfast meeting of Florida's convention delegates on Monday. Wasserman Schultz, who represents parts of Miami and Palm Beach in Congress, was trying to address her home-state delegation at the Downtown Marriott in Philadelphia. Wasserman-Schultz announced on July 24th that she would step down after the Democratic National Convention this week in the wake of internal DNC emails released by Wikileaks showing what many saw as an anti-Sanders bias. This is not a great sign for the actual Democratic National Convention. Is the DNC going to be as unruly as last week's RNC? They'd have to try really hard, but this is a start. As Wasserman-Schultz tried to speak to the Florida delegates, the crowd booed and talked over her, some holding up signs that read "E-mails." Addressing the crowd like they were unruly schoolchildren ("All right now, everybody settle down") failed to mollify them. Pounding the gavel didn't work. Even bringing up the shooting that happened Sunday in Fort Myers, Florida didn't quiet the angry audience. Wasserman-Schultz continued to try to talk about gun control over the jeering crowd. She attributed the "little bit of interest" (mostly from the press) in her being there to Florida being "the most significant battleground state" in making sure Clinton gets elected. Debbie, come on, that's not why the press is there, and everyone knows it. uckle up, everybody, looks like we're in for a rowdy DNC.
By the way, there was something I noticed about the RNC...
I saw this and it reminded me of something. Then it hit me.
Hahaha. is there anything she didn't steal? So, McDonald's now has a new item on their menu...
I might have to they that. So, are you kids still playing "Pokémon Go"? I am. Go Team Instinct! Well, I think they are running out of character names... or reaching out to the Satanic lot...
And the CP is 666. Sheesh. Speaking of "Pokémon Go" some people are cashing in on the game. Like this restaurant employee who’s encouraging people to put down lures there.
So, it's summer and there's one thing I love about summer and that is the bikini. This summer I decided to show you sexy bikini pics with something not so scary in the background.
New photos have been added to the album: "OMG, Did Bin Laden's Body Just Wash Ashore?" If you happen to go to the beach this summer you might see a new sign here or there.
You wanna see me naked though... right? Haha. Just kidding. You know, there's one thing you may not know about me is that I hate breaking rules. Unlike this person...
That's Liam's towel! Do not touch! Ugh! Alright, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's some crazy stuff that happens in Florida that happens no where else. That's why I have a pheature called...
Two Florida EMS (emergency medical service) workers, Christopher Wimmer and Kayla Dubois, are being charged with felonies after engaging in a competition to see who could take the best selfies with unconscious patients in ambulances. Of course this happened in Florida. According to FOX61, the Facebook page of Okaloosa County Sheriff Larry Ashley's office reports that "many patients were intubated, sedated, or otherwise unconcsious at the time" of the photos. According to The Smoking Gun, Wimmer and Dubois snapped selfies with at least 41 patients, including one with "an elderly woman with her breast exposed." Super classy. A video reportedly recorded by Dubois shows a patient "flailing" while Dubois, a paramedic, smiles into the camera. The police searched Wimmer's phone and found texts between him and Dubois urging each other to "step up their game." Sure, people get burnt out and bored on the job, but this is bordering on psychopathic.
Hahahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. So, my son who is visiting me and I were talking how much we used to enjoy watching "Sesame Street" together but the show has changed since then. Check it out...
"Look, either toy give us some candy you fucking Jew or my friend here breaks your knees. We didn't dress up as a pair of sand niggers for nothing now!"
It's 7:25 pm, 94°F and Kelly made a guy who resented Michelle Obama’s history lesson delete his account. Hillary Clinton's famously called on Donald Trump to delete his account, but when Kelly schools a guy on Twitter, they actually go and do it. Clarkson scorched a dude over pointing out an important fact from Michelle Obama's speech so hard, he up and left the site. Part 1: celebration...
Part 2: suggestion.
Part 3: clarification.
Part 4: deletion.
The "American Idol" winner is friends with actual American idol Michelle Obama, having collaborated with her on the charity dance jam "This is For My Girls."
The Democratic Party is a U.S. political party that promotes a strong central government, expansive social programs and frequently abandoning the aforementioned values.
This is so cool! Today's guest is the lead singer in one of my favorite bands... Ha Ha Tonka. Their latest album "Lessons" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Brett Anderson.
Brett: Very well.
Me: You guys are from The Ozarks, is that right? One of he first interviews I did on the Phile years ago was with a guy from the Ozarks named Baub Eis from the Geoff Stein Project. I heard it's really beautiful there. Is it?
Brett: Brian, Lennon, and Luke are all from West Plains, Missouri in the Ozarks and I am originally from Kansas City, Missouri but have lived and quite often frequent all areas of the Ozarks. It is quite beautiful. Full of mountains, lakes and rivers. I recommend you visit.
Me: I will one day. Are you guys all from that area?
Brett: Everyone is originally from West Plains but me. My grandparents built a home at the Lake of the Ozarks in the 60s and every summer since I can remember my family and I have been there as often as we can.
Me: Who is in Ha Ha Tonka, and how did you all meet?
Brett: Brian Roberts, Lennon Bone, Lucas Long, and I, Brett Anderson. Brian, Luke, and Lennon grew up with each other in West Plains. I met Brian and Luke in college at Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri.
Me: Okay, I have to ask you about the band name. It's very original, Brett, I am guessing it has a meaning, and not random. If I had to guess I would say it has something to do with Tonka trucks, or toys.
Brett: Ha Ha Tonka is actually the name of a state park at the Lake of the Ozarks. There is a huge castle there that burnt down 1942. It is a beautiful place.
Me: Ahhhh. I was way off. So, who came up with the name?
Brett: Basically we all came up with several names and by process of voting and elimination decided Ha Ha Tonka was the most original. It also was a name that came from where we came from. We liked that. We also liked that the name sounds like no other band name.
Me: Okay, let's talk about your music. I have all your albums, and just downloaded your latest release "Lessons" from iTunes. I really like the new album, Brett. Do you think the band has changed since the first album?
Brett: I wouldn't say changed, but I would definitely say progressed. The longer we've been doing this the more we've understood each other as individuals therefore making it easier to work with one another and learning to lean on each individuals strengths when needed. That goes a long way in song writing. It makes the songs unique to each person.
Me: I read you record in a barn. I hope someone cleaned it out first. Are you the first band to record in that barn?
Brett: We do. A 200 year old barn in New Paltz, New York. Not sure how clean you can get a barn, but it was clean enough for rock and roll. We were not the first band. There have been several. The studio name is Marcata Studios. Titus Andronicus, Felice Brothers, and The Walkmen are some others that have recorded there.
Me: Were their a bunch of animals running around?
Brett: Didn't see to many animals, but there were some spiders that could have passed for mice.
Me: I would not of been inside that place if I was in the band. Haha. Anyway, I really like the album, with the southern rock sound. What music did you guys grow up listening to?
Brett: We all grew up listening to different things. Bruce Springsteen, Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver, REM, Neil Young, Alabama to name a few, not to mention, Brian and Luke can sing just about any country song made from 1990 to early 2000s.
Me: You guys have played a few festivals, such as Lollapalooza. Do you prefer to play in smaller venues, or do you enjoy playing big outdoor festival shows?
Brett: They are both very different. I like them equally. The big festivals are fun to play because of the amount of people you are getting your music out to. The club shows can be very intense and rowdy. Crowd surfing, screaming, puking all within close range.
Me: Cool. I know you are busy and have to go and it is passed my bedtime anyway. Haha. Thanks so much for being on the Phile, Brett, you guys rock, and I am a big fan. Please come back on the Phile sometime. Do you have a website you wanna plug?
Brett: You betcha. Hahatonkamusic.com. We're also on Facebook, Twitter, Lastfm, and just about everything else.
Me: Thanks again, and continued success.
Brett: Thank you for your time and interest!
That about does it for this entry. Thanks to Brett for a pretty good interview. I wish it was longer though. Next time. The Phile will be back again on Sunday with Keith Top Of The Pops. Yep, that's his name. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker