Hi there, people, and welcome to the Phile. How are you? I was reading the news, and it's becoming harder to not laugh at obvious bullshit about Chris Christie not knowing about the bridge traffic plan with each passing day. Newly-released emails show that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s top guy at the Port Authority knew that the George Washington Bridge traffic jam was not only politically-motivated, but was leading to dangerously slow responses from emergency medical services. Man, imagine how angry Christie's gonna be when he finds out that literally every person in his administration knew about this thing but him. Fox News is leading the way with fast-breaking, up-to-the-minute ignoring of the Chris Christie scandal. Following complaints from Kanye West's lawyers, creators of the cryptocurrency Coinye West have agreed to change the new form of money's name to simply Coinye and have updated its logo from an image of the hip-hop artist to "a half-man-half-fish hybrid who is wearing sunglasses, again, totally separate from any resemblance to [their] client." Wanna see a picture of it?
In case you haven't heard of the newest make-believe/now-for-real-maybe online trend, it's called "bikini bridge"... referring to the raised fabric of a very skinny woman's bikini bottom between her two hip bones, and it was created by the online trolling community of 4chan so that they could subsequently create an outraged backlash against it. Now, however, it's hard to tell what's fake and what's real. Just like everything else on the Internet. Whatever, I think it's brilliant. A Zambian political dissident was thrown into jail after calling President Michael Sata a "chumbu mushololwa," or "potato" in English. You really have to be careful what you do in Zambia. They say the President has eyes everywhere. I wish there was a political prisoner by the name of Beer so everyone would be protesting for "Free Beer." I don't like Insane Clown Posse. I think all their music sounds like the aural equivalent of diaper-filled garbage and that they themselves have the mental faculties of a couple dim toddlers. And I say this knowing practically nothing about them and having heard less than 0.03% of their music. I'm not an American citizen, but I have a right to hold whatever idiotic opinion I want based upon whichever flimsy rationale pleases me. And nobody can do anything about it. Especially not the U.S. government, which was practically founded upon the principle of empowering large groups of morons with terrible opinions. And that is exactly why these two dummies are American heroes right now. Let me explain. By now, you've probably heard that the American Civil Liberties Union is helping ICP's Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope sue both the FBI and the Department of Justice for having classified Insane Clown Posse fans, or (sigh) Juggalos, as gang members. Now, that may sound hilarious to you... and it is, because anything involving grown people who willingly leave the house in clown make-up and call each other "ninjas" is inherently hilarious to at least some degree. But it's also really important, because the government can't go pulling that shit on its own citizens. Those weird-looking Faygo-drinking people have the same right to free speech, freedom of association and due process as you and I, which means that they should be able to stuff their ears with whatever shitty music they like and hang out with whatever group of infantile dumbasses makes them happy without getting harassed by the Man because they're supposedly in some gang. Today, it's their god-awful taste in music getting them harassed. Tomorrow, the government might decide that opinionated assholes who keep reading "Watchmen" over and over again can get punched in the neck for no reason, and then I'll be fucked. The day after that, it might be whatever shitty thing you like... and I don't know you, but I know for certain you like some shitty things. And I'm proud that we live in a country in which we have a process for stemming this tide before it gets out of control. And that ICP and the ACLU are doing the leg work, so that I can stay home and keep reading about Dr. Manhattan. But, man, look at these idiots.
Ugh! Why do do I have to defend them?! Man, I am a really bad blogger host. I showed you a picture of a Coinye and the Insane Clown Posse, but mentioned a wonderful and glorious thing such as a bikini bridge and no picture. Let's fix that real quick, shall we?
Alright, moving on... My son is a huge video game player and was playing "Halo" the other day, and I was watching it and I was slightly confused...
I thought it was supposed to be a realistic game. Haha. Is that Mr. Fantastic? Okay, so long-time readers of the Phile know I am a big fan of the show "Doctor Who" and I love those Minions from Despicable Me. I had a great idea... what about if we kinda blended those two? Wouldn't it be great? It'll look a little like this.
Brilliant, right? Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Things That The Polar Vortex Caused
5. Miley Cyrus put on pants.
4. New York City's subway rats were issued scarves by Major DeBlasio.
3. Sharknado producers got to work on Polar Bear Vortex.
2. 87% of coldness-related fatalities were Weather Channel field reporters.
And the number one thing that the Polar Vortex caused...
1. Hot Pockets were mostly used to warm actual pockets.
If you spot the Mindphuck email me at email@example.com. Alright, before we move on yesterday I mentioned that the website ultimateclassicrock.com is running an Ultimate Classic Rock Hall of Fame battle with Styx fighting with Foghat in round one.
Yesterday I showed you Styx was winning. Let's see if Foghat caught up.
Damn it. Okay, people, go to ultimateclassicrock.com and vote for Foghat. You have until the poll closes on January 19th at 11:59 pm ET. Vote! Okay, now that I got that off my chest let's continue. Yesterday on the Phile I had a panel with different people and one of those people on the panel was Phile phriend Debbie Boldacious who has a crazy story I wanted her to tell but we didn't have time. So, she's here today with it. She shoots from the hip, heart, camera, gun, sling-shot, tank...
I've delayed sharing this story, because it's put me through an emotional blender. But it's too comedy a story to not share, so... Want to hear a story? Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin... It was 3 days before Christmas. I was rebelling against showering, still in pj's, looking like a bum. I mean SEXY, totally SEXY. There was a knock at my door, and there stood all dressed in black, was the ex of my Christmas past! A man I had LOVED years ago. Who'd ripped my heart out my chest and put into a box of memories. I'd not heard from him for 5 years. And there he was, telling me he'd flown half way around the world because he just wanted to see me. He's thought about me every day for 5 years, and never stopped loving me. If you love fairytale endings, stop reading now and make up your own ending... haha! First words I said to him in 5 years, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!!!!??" Then for the next 30 minutes, did an excellent impression of a teenage girl in a padded room, rocking and repeatedly saying, "OH MY GOD!" Then I threw up. I asked him to leave. The moral of this story is, feelings you burnt and scattered the ashes of can come back and haunt the shit out of your Christmas Holiday. And getting treatment that makes you throw up and feel like crap the day before a mind blowing surprise is NOT GOOD TIMING! He spent Christmas by himself. I continued to throw up daily, but stopped rocking back and forth. THE END.
What a crazy story, Debbie. Thanks for sharing. Okay, the 30th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
The author Gary Conness will be a guest on the Phile next Saturday.
It's 10:45 am, 60°F and Kelly will be guest starring on ABC's "Nashville" on January 15th!
This year on the Phile I wanted to start interviewing different kinda people, and this one is different. She won I=V/R Gamer Girl and Women of Comic Book Cosplay. I have no idea what they mean. She's a cosplayer and a model. Please welcome to the Phile, the gorgeous... Katybear.
Me: Hello, Katy, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Katybear: I am great! Just working on a bunch of new cosplay!
Me: So, should I call you Kate, Katybear or Katy?
Katybear: Either is fine.
Me: How long have you had the nickname Katybear, Kate?
Katybear: Katybear was my nickname as a child, so that's what I decided to use for my cosplay page.
Me: Kate, where are you from?
Katybear: Originally from Albuquerque, New Mexico, but currently living in Phoenix, AZ.
Me: Ever been to Orlando?
Katybear: No, but I would love to one day.
Me: You're a pretty famous cosplayer, am I right?
Katybear: I would in no way say that I am famous! Well known perhaps, but not famous!
Me: A few of my friends cosplay, but I don't. I'm way too old. Forty-five is old to cosplay, right?
Katybear: I am going to cosplay for EVER! I don't care how old, I think if you want to do it then do it!
Me: Okay... I don't really want to do it. How old is the oldest cosplayer you know?
Katybear: Hm.... I am not too sure. I think Yaya Han.
Me: How long have you been dressing up and cosplaying, Kate?
Katybear: Since 2011.
Me: What was your first character you dressed up as?
Katybear: Cammy from "Street Fighter".
Me: Was that for a convention?
Katybear: Yes, for Con Nichiwa 2011.
Me: What was your first convention you have done?
Katybear: Con Nichiwa 2011.
Me: Okay, I mentioned this before on the Phile... I used to think if you were over the age of 12 and dressed up there was something seriously wrong with you. Haha. Now it seems like the cosplay world is crazy, and all adults. Did you dress up when you were a kid?
Katybear: Yes, I was born on Halloween and have loved dressing up my whole life.
Me: When I started to go to comic book conventions in the 80s no one dressed up, and there weren't many girls there. Man, I was born in the wrong decade. Now when I go to a convention I am surrounded by hot women wearing next to nothing. It's fucking hot. When you first went to your first convention and walked around, did you feel uncomfortable?
Katybear: A little bit. But I got over it. Cosplay has really helped my confidence.
Me: I understand some cosplayers make their own costumes and some buy them off the shelf so to speak. What do you do?
Katybear: I make all my own costumes.
Me: How long does it take you to make one outfit?
Katybear: It depends. Anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks.
Me: So, you sew them and everything?
Katybear: Yes. Self taught and proud of it!
Me: I like your Supergirl costume, Kate. You made that one?
Katybear: Thank you! Yes I did! It's Michael Turner's version. I wanted to add a little bit more interest so I used a different fabric. It's one of my favorite costumes that I have made.
Me: How many costumes and characters do you have?
Katybear: I'd say about 15ish.
Me: There's some I know you do like Lara Croft, Supergirl, Poison Ivy and such... but there's others I have no idea. There's a photo of you as a sexy maid or something, is that a character? I have to show a picture.
Katybear: Yes, it's Asuka from Evangelion. That costume is based off of a pvc figure of her.
Me: And here's a photo of you in a bikini and a purple wig and another of you with just a black bikini... that's not a character, right?
Katybear: Actually they are from "DOA Xtreme2 Beach Volleyball", just a little fun shoot while I was in between sewing new stuff.
Me: So, I interviewed a cosplayer named Tabitha Lyons who told me what derping was. Do you know what it means? I think it was derping.
Katybear: Yes, I do it all the time.
Me: You are gorgeous, Kate, no matter what you dress up as. You covered your face a few times which you shouldn't. LOL. Anyway, speaking about covering up, I noticed you have a few tattoos. They must be special to you as you don't normally cover them up. Do those stars represent anything?
Katybear: I have always liked stars since I was a little kid. I don't really know why I'm drawn to them, but I don't cover them because they are part of me. Yes, I dress up as a character, but it's still me under there! ;)
Me: Apart from dressing up for conventions and stuff you do some modeling work. I wish I had a Peverett Phile t-shirt to send you to model in. Anyway, who have you modeled for?
Katybear: Mainly Cake Shop Couture, Shark Robot, and a lot of it was just ideas I came up with to shoot with my photographer Adam Patrick Murray.
Me: In your real life and day job, do you find some people don't get it that you like to dress up and role play?
Katybear: No, my boss and co-workers are very supportive. It's great. :)
Me: Have you been picked on over this? I know a few cosplayers that have, Kate.
Katybear: Not really. Other than the usual internet troll.
Me: So, do you have a boyfriend and does he cosplay as well?
Katybear: I will say this, I do have a significant other, and they occasionally cosplay.
Me: Okay, I am sure you love video games, comic books and movies... AGGGHHH, where were girls like you when I was your age? Haha. So, what is your favorite video game?
Katybear: Pokemon, anything and everything Pokemon!
Me: Favorite movie?
Katybear: I love Wedding Crashers, Grandma's Boy, The LOTR movies, Harry Potter, Star Wars, I don't have just one fave.
Me: I'm a big Star Wars fan and noticed you cosplayed as an Ewok but not Slave Leia. Has Slave Leia been over done?
Katybear: That's the main reason I haven't done it, call me a cosplay hipster, but I like to do stuff that a lot of people haven't done (for the most part). I have been tempted though...
Me: Favorite TV show?
Katybear: I love "America's Next Top Model", "Vampire Diaries", there's tons!
Me: Favorite comic book character?
Me: Is there anybody you're gonna cosplay in the future that you haven't told anybody yet? Any new stuff you are working on you can share?
Katybear: I'll tell you just one! I'm making a Pokemon gijinka (humanized version), of one of the older Pokemon. That's the only hint I'll give!
Me: That's a terrible hint. I have no idea what you're talking about. LOL. Alright, I have to ask you about this, Kate... you are a I=V/R Gamer Girl Winner? What does that mean and what did you win?
Katybear: Oh... haha! I entered this contest to win a trip to Gen Con in 2011 and $1000, I had to get people to vote for me every day for a month. I was one of the winners, and then the guys running it said their sponsors backed out... so I got nothing.
Me: That sucks. You also are Women of Comic Book fan sign winner. Was that as Supergirl? What did you win there?
Katybear: I won some comic swag. Posters and such.
Me: I have to thank you for being on the Phile. I hope it was fun and I hope you can come back soon. On the Phile I like to ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics, so here goes... What do you miss about childhood? My answer would be my parents who both passed away.
Katybear: I miss how simple life used to be. Not a care in the world, now it's madness!
Me: Very true. Okay, go ahead and mention your websites and everything, and visit Orlando. I'll take you to Disney World.
Katybear: facebook.com/katybear1031, itskatybearbitches.tumblr.com, instagram.com/katybear, katybear25.deviantart.com, twitter.com/katybearcosplay, youtube.com/katybear25.
Me: Thanks, Kate. And please come back on the Phile again soon.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Debbie Boldacious and of course Katybear. Okay, the Phile will be back next Saturday with author Gary Conness. Theon on Sunday it's singer Aradia. And on Monday it's a swimmer, and cancer survivor named Lauren McCullough who you might've read about. She has an amazing story that she tells on her great blog thenotdyinggirl.com. Check it out! Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Strawberry Blondes Forever!