Monday, November 18, 2013

Pheaturing BlondeNerd Britt Brombacher

Hello, kids, welcome to another entry of the Phile. How are you? I have to say, it's a beautiful day here in Central Florida. If I was an outdoors type of guy I would be outside right now.  Butterball the leading supplier of turkeys to Americans' big fat fucking faces announced that it will be sending out 50% fewer fresh turkeys 16 pounds and bigger this year, due to a decline in weight gains on some of their farms causing a limited availability of large, fresh turkeys. This means that many people may not get to eat themselves into a tryptophan-induced coma this year, having instead to settle for a tryptophan-induced really deep sleep. I just saw that the first day of Hanukkah falls on Thanksgiving. So, celebrate this Thanksgivukkah by stuffing your kosher turkey full of challah breadcrumbs and guilt.  Pornhub a popular online hub for porn... which I have never heard of... really... ahem... has announced that it will "fully support" Sony's newly released PlayStation 4, so that customers will be spared the unpleasant sensation of craning their neck 45 degrees to look at a different screen for any reason whatsoever. Have any of you bought that $400 downloading updates machine?  People really love bacon. And people kinda like candy canes. So, what could be a better idea than bacon-flavored candy canes? Well, probably lots of things, but these holiday treats will in all likelihood sell very well none the less because, as we mentioned, people really love bacon. Well, at least better than their sister pickle and gravy-flavored varieties. Here's what the packaging looks like...

I don't want the pickle flavored one but if any of you can find the bacon or gravy one email me at and I'll send you my address. Haha. I am on a quest and I will find these. Yesterday I told the story of a New Jersey server who was denied a tip because she'd probably just spend it on being a gay. Well, I thought it was a waiter, but it turns out it was a waitress. And there's an update on the story... Since the story broke, she's been getting tons of tips! And not just from local New Jersey patrons. "People have sent me tips from all over the world just to show support," Dayna Morales says. "I have had people from Germany to South Africa, Australia to the U.K., San Diego, everywhere." She's now made approximately $2,000 on that $93.55 bill, which is a 2137% tip. Damn. The staff of Philadelphia-area Neshaminy High School's newspaper has caused some controversy after they decided to ban the use of Redskins, their school football team name, in future issues of the Playwickian. "Detractors will argue that the word is used with all due respect. But the offensiveness of a word cannot be judged by its intended meaning, but by how it is received," they wrote in an op-ed endorsed by 14 of the paper's 21 staff members. Luckily, ridiculous problems like this aren't an issue in the actual NFL.  It's a hazard of democracy, plain and simple. If you allow the voters to legalize marijuana, you're gonna have some "Futurama" episodes being turned into real life. So, that pretty much explains the existence of the Smell-O-Scope (or Nasal Ranger) that Denver is using to detect the aroma of excessively kind bud. City denizens should just enjoy these last few days before their town starts getting overrun with giant sentient anthropomorphic milkshakes and shape-shifting meat wads. 'Cause it's coming. Let there be no confusion about that.  Okay, so, next Saturday it's the 50th anniversary of the show "Doctor Who". Well, that show is more popular than ever and they are branching out all over the place to cash in on the popularity. Take a look at this promo for a new Nickelodeon show.

And did you know the TARDIS was in The Avengers? No? Well, it was and I have proof.

I have to show you this, kids. A Phile reader sent this to me... man, I'd be even more depressed if this happened to me.

That should of been a Mindphuck.  Okay, not only is Saturday the anniversary of "Doctor Who", but it's also my birthday. In the past few weeks I have been showing you different birthday cakes. Well, I had some good ones back in the day but I'm glad I never had one like this...

Do you think she knows what it means? And what is that, a car or something? Weird... and sad. Speaking of sad...

Doris Lessing
Oct 22, 1919 - Nov 17, 2013
Boy, she can really hear the grass singing now.

If you spot the Mindphuck email me at Okay, who loves Facebook? I admit I am on it quite a bit. Well, there's a lot of interesting stuff about Facebook, and some weird stories. So, once again here is a pheature I call...

Nathalie Blanchard, a woman from Quebec on long-term sick leave has stopped receiving monthly benefits after she posted Facebook photos of herself having fun. A year and a half ago the woman was granted leave from her job at IBM in Bromont, because of a depression diagnosis and has been receiving sick-leave benefits every month by The Manulife insurance company. However, the pictures posted on the networking site showed her frolicking on a beach, having fun at a Chippendales show and enjoying her birthday party made her look rather happy. So, the insurance company assumed she was no longer depressed and stopped paying the benefits. The woman said that she informed Manulife about the trip and that the pictures are not a proof that her overall mood had improved. Bad luck Nathalie… I hope your depression doesn't get worse now!

The 37th artist to be pheatured in the Peverett Phile Art Gallery is somewhat different. Her name is Tabitha Lyons and she works for a company called Artyfakes. Here is a picture of Tabitha and a prop she worked on.

Holy effing shit. Wow! Anyway, Tabitha will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

Okay, today's guest is lives, breathes and eats videogames. I don't think she actually eats them, but you know what I mean. She hosts the "We're Not Dead" podcast, and co-host "the n00bketeers" gaming podcast. She also has a great gaming website called Please welcome to the Phile... BlondeNerd Britt Brombacher!

Me: Hello, welcome to the Phile, Britt. How are you?

Britt: Fan-freaking-tastic, thanks! I'd be even better if I had some hot wings in my mouth, but that's of the norm.

Me: I have to ask you first of, my male readers would kill me if I didn't ask you this... do you have a boyfriend? If not, why on Earth why?

Britt: Psh, I have many boyfriends! Their names are Alistair, Link, Kaidan Alenko, Nathan Drake...YOU LIKE THAT WORKAROUND?! But for serious, sorry for being lame, but there are some parts of my life I like to keep to myself. Like my dating life.

Me: No, worries, Britt. I work at Disney World and I work with a lot of gamers... if you worked there you would be the most popular Cast Member ever! Have you been to Disney World? I am sure you have.

Britt: Y'know, I recently popped my Disney World cherry about eight months ago! I didn't get much time to wander the park and all of its wares... I only had half a day to roam! But I'm planning to make a trip back soon.

Me: Where are you from originally, Britt, and where do you live now?

Britt: Seattle, and Seattle! I haven't moved around much. ALTHOUGH I've almost moved to California on numerous occasions!

Me: So, apart from your website, you host a podcast called "We're Not Dead". I take it that's a "Walking Dead" themed podcast, am I right?

Britt: Nope! It's a fan podcast about the zombie audio drama, "We're Alive". If you love ya'self some zombie action goodness, make sure you download the first few chapters of "We're Alive" and give it a listen. On "We're Not Dead" we discuss plot advancements, characters, theories, etc. We're like "The Talking Dead" of "The Walking Dead" BUT WE'VE BEEN AROUND LONGER.

Me: I have never seen "The Walking Dead" but a lot of my friends tell me I would love it. Are you into the zombie craze?

Britt: Oh lawwwd, am I ever. I've been quite obsessed with zombies since middle school. Actually, I loved zombies in elementary school, but I was a little pansy and couldn't handle the terror. Then my balls dropped. That being said, I'm still a pansy but can now withstand zombie terror.

Me: It seems only a few years that zombie's have become really popular and trendy, am I right?

Britt: Yeah, I'd say so! I mean, I think they've always been popular and have always had a cult following, but they've become rather... hmm, mainstreamed? Dunno if that's the right word, but in any case I'm totally okay with it. The more zombie stuffthings, the better!

Me: Are you a fan of "Doctor Who"? I have been a fan of that show since 1974 myself. You weren't even born. How old are you, Britt, if you don't mind me asking?

Britt: I've actually never seen "Doctor Who"! I know, I know. I suck at life. I'm 25!

Me: I wouldn't say you suck at life. You are known as a video game player and reviewer, am I right? 

Britt: I'm probably more known as that crazy biatch who has a strange obsession with Alistair and other male video game characters, but yes, some probably know me as that chick from

Me: How long have you been playing video games and what was the first one you were into?

Britt: Since I was of the old age of five. The first game I recall playing was "Super Mario World". I was in my parents living room, chillin' on a pink beanbag. Yeah. Life was good.

Me: Do you play on every console? Which one if your favorite?

Britt: I'll play on whatever! If that means booting up the SNES or the Dreamcast I'm all for it. My favorite console would either be the SNES or PS2. I've had very, VERY fond memories on both!

Me: What do you think of the new consoles that just came out?

Britt: I think they're exciting! Not necessary, but still exciting. The first year or so of a new console launch is always thrilling. It's fun to see how the industry evolves and watch the new and crazy directions it goes in.

Me: I love this picture of you with the new Playstation 4.

Me: I was never into video games, but I did like the old Intellivision games. "Pitfall" was great. My son plays "Halo", "Skyrim" and "Mindcraft" all day. Did you ever get into "Mindcraft"?

Britt: Y'know, I tried it one night, but I was rather, erm, tipsy and couldn't understand a thing I was doing. I really loved the "Harvest Moon" games, so I assume I would quickly become addicted to "Minecraft" as soon as I figured it out.

Me: Not being a gamer, there's some different phrases for different video games, am I right? First person, shooter games, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I liked "Pac Man" and "Mario Brothers". Anyway, what is your favorite kinda game to play?

Britt: HAHAHA. Yeah, you got the general gist of it. I personally have always favored RPGs, both western and Japanese.

Me: How many hours a day to you play video games, Britt?

Britt: I try to squeeze in at least three! It can be tricky since I travel a lot, but that's what mobile platforms are for! And my mobile platforms I mean my beastly 11 lb laptop. Ack.

Me: Do you keep all the games you play?

Britt: Absolutely. I don't think I've ever sold a video game in my life. H-O-A-R-D-E-R.

Me: Have you beaten them all? I'm sure there's one game you haven't beaten.

Britt: BAHAHAHA. No way! I probably haven't beaten half of them. It's, uh, a problem I'm working on solving.

Me: So, I'm guessing you go to all kinds of conventions. Ever been to MegaCon here in Orlando?

Britt: I haven't!

Me: What was your favorite convention you went to?

Britt: E3 is super exciting because of all of the industry announcements, but it's a lot of work to cover. PAX is easily my favorite. It's like E3 but without all of the stress!

Me: What seemed to get big over night, in my mind anyway, is this whole cosplay thing. I used to say if you're over 12 and you dress up and not get paid for it there's something wrong. But a few friends of mine are cosplayers, and explained it to me and I appreciate the effort and time they put into it. Do you cosplay?

Britt: I don't, simply because I'm not crafty enough to make my own costume. If I had the time to learn and perfect it, I totally would cosplay! That being said, I have mad respect for cosplayers. SOMEDAY I WILL BE ONE OF YOOOOU.

Me: In the photo for this interview you are dressed up as an elf. Is that Link?

Britt: YES. It is the real Link. It is not I dressed as him. Nope.

Me: Speaking of photos, I saw a photo of you where nothing is covering you apart from a shield. I wonder how many guys have that as a desk top. Was that your idea? And you're not really naked behind that shield, right?

Britt: Heheheh, NO! I'm wearing a swimsuit. You just can't see it. That was the point. ;)

Me: Alright, so, I know you love video games... that's an understatement, but do you love watching TV and movies as well?

Britt: I'm not a huge TV watcher, but I do watch "The Walking Dead", "True Blood", "Family Guy" and "South Park". I see maybe three, four movies a month? I prefer horror films.

Me: You also have a YouTube Channel, where you talk about video games. Has anyone ever approached you about being on TV?

Britt: One time a while ago someone approached me for being on some TV show that focused on people who were die-hard collectors, but that fell through for whatever reason. It was a long time ago! I really should make more videos, though! Thanks for reminding me! ;)

Me: "The Blonde Nerd" would be a great TV show. Do you like being in front of a camera?

Britt: LOL. The entire show would be me lounging around in gross sweats and eating hot wings. I wouldn't say I love being in front of a camera, but I don't dislike it either. If I were offered an amazing job as an on-host camera I'd take it in a heartbeat, but it's not a career I'm actively seeking.

Me: Well, you should. So, on the Phile I ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics. Are you ready? What's a best way to spend a rainy weekend? Duh. That's a nobrainer for you. Let me ask you another one. Which temptation do you try the hardest to resist?

Britt: EATING. Seriously, I love food so hard. In fact I have to refrain from buying snack items because I will sit down in front of trashy reality television and consume bags upon bags of chips, candy, etc.

Me: Britt, thanks for being on the Phile. I hope it was fun, and I would love to have you back here again soon. I have so many questions to ask you. What do you think? Would you come back? 

Britt: F'SHO!!!

Me: And if you're ever in Orlando, let's hang out at Disney. Go ahead and plug your websites and everything else you have, and please come back soon. All the best.

Britt: YAY! Twitter: @BlondeNerd. Website: Podcast: "n00bketeers", Podcast 2: "We're Not Dead".

Me: Good job, Britt.

There you go, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Britt for a fun interview. Okay, the Phile will be back next Saturday for My Phorty-Phifth Birthday Special Entry Pheaturing Phile Alum Neara Russell. There's not gonna be an entry for next Sunday but on Monday it's Will Thomas, the lead singer for the band Grand Old Grizzly. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye! Strawberry Blondes Forever!

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