Sunday, September 15, 2013

Pheaturing DJ Clulow

Hello, and welcome to the Phile on a Sunday, have a little phaith in me. How are you?  Well, I guess this is good news... the United States is going to make a deal with Russia and Syria. What could possibly go wrong? Here’s the deal: Syria will turn over their stockpiled chemicals and we send them Alex Rodriguez. The White House has a new slogan: "Hope and let the Russians fix it." President Obama spoke to the nation about Syria. Hopefully, Americans who were confused about the president's plan feel better now, knowing that he's confused too. Well, it was confusing, wasn't it? First, President Obama laid out his reasoning for a strike against Syria. And then he gave the rebuttal. John Kerry has insisted that any military strike on Syria will be "unbelievably small." But not as small as the SUPPORT for a strike on Syria.  This is crazy, McDonald's is now serving steak. Nothing says fine dining like rolling down your car window and screaming out, "medium rare!" Can the USDA consider it prime beef if it comes with a toy?  In New York, former Congressman Anthony Weiner became the first candidate to concede in his bid to become the Democratic candidate for mayor. Weiner got less than 5 percent of the vote and came in fifth. There's got to be something else he can run for. I have 3,000 more Anthony Weiner jokes. You know, while losing the election was bad news for Anthony Weiner, it was great news for Carlos Danger. Carlos just opened four new dating accounts.  Since marijuana is now legal in Colorado they have to tax it like anything else, and this got people upset. This week, activists in Colorado were handing out free marijuana to protest the high taxes. Then later the pot activists were like, “We did WHAT?”  There's been some talk that the Vatican is considering a new rule that would allow Catholic priests to get married one day. Critics of the rule say priests should remain celibate. While others said, “You've never been married, have you?”  HBO announced a new detective show starring Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson. Apparently they try to break suspects using that new interrogation technique, "laid-back cop/even more laid-back cop."  One Direction's new concert movie apparently has flopped at the U.K. box office even though it's been a huge hit here in the U.S. Yeah, they're killing it here, and doing terrible over in England... or as toothpaste put it, “Join the club.” I can say that, I'm British. And yes, I use toothpaste.  The Los Angeles Dodgers announced that they will make history by holding Major League Baseball's first ever LGBT promotional game at their stadium on September 27. The evening's events will include a performance of the national anthem by the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles and the game's first pitch thrown by an unnamed gay celebrity from the city's film, television or music industry, if they can somehow manage to find one.  A Canadian judge ruled yesterday that Darwin, the illegally-owned macaque monkey whose owner famously abandoned in an IKEA parking lot last year, will spend the rest of his life in an Ontario primate sanctuary with other monkeys of his kind and not with the lady who used to dress him up in a winter coat and keep him as a pet. I'm just a lost, despondent monkey in a shearling coat staring vacantly into the Ikea of life. So, it's Sunday and I like to do something religious today. How about show you an ad for the Bible? Whatcha think?

The Bible is full of sex. I'm going to hell. I think we all knew that though, right? Well, I have been showing you that the latest trend amongst rapper's is they are all coming out with their own cereal that they are pitching. I have a new one to show you today.

I have no idea who that is. Not a clue. If you know, email me at, will you? So, one thing I like to do in my spare time is to go on Twitter and look up certain words, and one of those words I look up is Foghat. This is what I recently found...

They are talking about the article about me in The Examiner. Man, I make a horrible interviewee. Nice to see people are still reading it though. I should Tweet 7Dizbuster back. I'll put that on the list of thing's to do today.  Yesterday I showed you what the guys from "Duck Dynasty" would look like if they didn't have beards. You wanna see another one? I have no idea who these guys are, I have never seen the show, but here you go.

I have also been showing you some sport teams with weird names, and yes, I have another. I know how to milk stuff here on the Phile.

The Banana Slug, a bright yellow, slimy, shell-less mollusk commonly found on the redwood forest floor, was the unofficial mascot for UC Santa Cruz coed teams since the university's early years. It became the university's official namesake in 1986... but not without a challenge. When the campus decided in 1980 that five of its teams would begin playing at the NCAA Division III level, the chancellor at the time and a group of athletes and coaches determined that the Sea Lion would be a more distinguished mascot. Students would have none of that. They advocated fiercely on behalf of the loveable Banana Slug, organizing an election in which the Banana Slug bested the Sea Lion by a 15 to 1 ratio. I like it for some reason he's reading a book on Plato. Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Ways New York City Is So Hot That...
5. Times Square is littered with the sun-stroked corpses of guys in bootleg Elmo costumes.
4. Alex Rodriguez has been injecting Gatorade Glacier Freeze.
3. Major Bloomberg hesitated for a moment before slapping a 6z oz. Slurpee out of a child's hands.
2. People are so desperate for air conditioning, they're actually going to see Riddick in theaters. 
And the number one how hot is it in New York is...
1. The New York Fire Department just issued a brush fire advisory for Donald Trump's hair.

That was the dumbest Top Phive List ever. I apologize. Anyway, if you spot the Mindphuck email me at Okay, I love Russell Brand. I wanted to go see his show in Orlando but I don't think I'm going. Anyway, a phriend of the Phile doesn't like him and she's gonna tell us why. She shoots from the hip, heart, camera, gun, sling-shot, tank... Please welcome back to the Phile... Debbie Boldacious.

Okay, so I have held back saying it, but yet another week has gone by when Russell Bland is all over my Facebook feed like the fame whore craving shit head that he is, and I'm so bored of it. The guy is not some genius. Nor is he funny in the jokes he tells... though laughing at him does warrant a high comedy factor. People whom I respect are hailing him some kind of hero genius... but did you all forget this is the same guy who was part of a two man car wreck radio show, who called an elderly celebrity, leaving four voice messages, being descriptive about how he'd fucked his granddaughter?? All of which was pre-recorded but yet they still chose to air it on their show anyway?? Yes, we all make mistakes, specially when you are off your tits on whatever, but the guy now supposedly straightened up, continues to make lame ass jokes about his sexual encounters. Any footage I've seen of him where he's making "big points" on worldwide issues, he just comes across like a jumped up little shit, who's read a couple of things on the internet, or in a library book, runs with it, and belittles anyone he can, if they don't happen to know what the fuck he's talking about. Plus breaking up with your wife via text message is all class. But before this sounds like a gossip column, I just wanted to remind people... THIS GUY IS A DICK.

Wow, Debbie made her point. I wonder what she thinks of me. Debbie? Haha. Alright, so, another phriend of the Phile wanted to come on and tell us briefly he wants to tell Speaker Boehner enough already. So, please welcome back to the Phile, Executive Director for Organizing for Action... Jon Carson.

Me: Hello, Jon, welcome back to the Phile. So, what is going on? Why enough already? 

Jon: Jason, it's a fact: there's a group of House Republicans actually willing to sabotage our economy to make a political point.

Me: What do you mean, what are they doing?

Jon: Right now, they're refusing to pass a budget by the September 30th deadline...

Me: What budget, what are they doing?

Jon: Letting the government shut down... unless Congress decides to defund all of Obamacare, too.

Me: This is probably not good, I am guessing.

Jon: No, and the most cynical part is that they're willing to risk delaying new Social Security benefits and student loans, military pay, and other government services...

Me: Why?

Jon: All in the name of re-fighting a political battle they lost three years ago.

Me: Okay, you wanted to say something about Speaker Boehner. What does he have to do with this?

Jon: Only House leaders have the power to stand up to these bullies and work on a smart budget. Tell Speaker Boehner enough already.

Me: How would you describe this kind of behavior, Jon?

Jon: Words fail me. Under other circumstances, I might call this a tantrum... but that doesn't begin to approach how high these stakes are.

Me: And this whole thing about shutting down the government?

Jon: Shutting down our government is not a rhetorical bargaining chip or a valid policy position. It's a refusal to govern. It's willful ignorance of the government's role in our day-to-day life. It's dangerous, and it threatens our entire economy.

Me: It's the 15th, so you have just 15 days or so, what do you do?

Jon: So with 15 days left to pass a budget, it's time to say enough already. Pass the budget now.

Me: Well, good luck, and keep us posted, Jon. Thanks for stopping by.

Jon: Thank you, Jason. The other side will spend millions to maintain the status quo. We're fighting for change.

Today's pheatured guest is the 34th artist to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallery and is the host of his own web series "Artist Alley". Please welcome to the Phile... DJ Clulow.

Me: Hey, DJ, welcome to the Phile. How are you, man?

DJ: Doing great! It’s awesome to be here.

Me: Okay, I gotta ask, what's with the eye patch? It's a good look for you.

DJ: Giant squid attack, it escalated quickly. No worries it has all healed up.

Me: That's good. I have known for you for a few years and knew you were a talented artist, but didn't know you were taking it seriously as you are. How long have you been drawing, Deej?

DJ: Since I was two, my mom has documented evidence in the form of a crude crayon drawing of Batman. I have been drawing my whole life, I knew at an early age that I wanted to make a career out of this. Luckily I had amazing parents who were very supportive of my passion for the arts. Sadly I got distracted by life and put off art for awhile. It wasn’t until the last few years that I devoted all my energy into it again.

Me: You do a lot of paintings I believe. Is that your favorite medium?

DJ: It depends on what I am trying to create, or what I want the finished piece to look like. All of my painting are done with Gouache, which is a type of watercolor based paint. It has more pigment and is thicker than normal watercolors. Gouache gives off very bright colors, this really makes my paintings POP! But I do use a lot of different mediums; illustration pencils, inking pens, and markers. I have even done a few custom vinyl toys.

Me: I like using Sharpies myself. A lot of artists I interviewed here on the Phile use computers, and some old school artists would say that would be cheating. What do you say? Do you use computers?

DJ: I definitely don’t think its cheating. Creating art on computers can be very difficult and takes a great deal of skill. I have been trained on digital arts for a long time but I have just started to really use computers to create finished pieces. I’ll draw it out with pencils or inks first, scan it in, and then digitally ink and color it.

Me: I believe you know some artists I have pheatured on the Phile... Michael Banks and Chris Hamer. How do you know those guys and what do you think of their work?

DJ: I met Michael Banks and his wonderful wife Sarah through mutual friends. Me and him even participated in an art show last year together. He has provided a lot of help when it comes to building my art career, so I owe him a big time. I met Chris through Michael this year when I was working on my “Artist Alley” project. I love their art! Michael and Chris both create amazing and unique art that reflects their own individual style. We all share a love for “low brow art”. So even though all of our styles are so different from each other, we share a common love for the world of the weird and unconventional.

Me: I believe both have featured their art in galleries... I know Michael has. Is that something you see yourself doing in the future? You are part of the Peverett Phile Art Gallery, and nothing beats that.

DJ: My first job when I was 16 was at an art gallery, so it was always a goal for me to present my work in a gallery or a show. I have had a few pieces in a couple shows around town, but nothing really big yet. I am really trying to dig deep into the Orlando art scene right now, so I hope to have some pieces out there to the public really soon.

Me: You are based here in Orlando, but you're from California originally, am I right?

DJ: I am actually from Las Vegas. I did spend a lot of time in L.A. growing up, and even went to art school for a little bit in San Francisco. So I am very much a west coast kid at heart.

Me: What state do you like better to live?

DJ: Is this a trick question? No, I think everyone who knows me very well knows how much I miss the west coast and California. I really hope to migrate back out there someday. Not sure where I will end up, I really miss the city of San Francisco and the bay area. That city was living breathing art, so I guess that is kind of a destination goal. But either L.A. or San Fran it will just be nice to be closer to my family in Vegas.

Me: Okay, let's talk about your art. I have to give you kudos, one of my favorite comic book characters ever is Rocket Raccoon and I featured your Rocket piece here on the Phile. A lot of artists I have interviewed take something from pop culture and draw or paint it. I notice you do that a lot, with "Adventure Time", and comic book characters. What is your favorite thing to draw?

DJ: I grew up obsessing over movies, cartoons, video games, comic books, and various other pop culture media. All of those have had such a huge impact on my life, and really helped define who I was as an individual. I learned how to draw by copying artists I admired in comics, that’s how I learned how to use different techniques and styles. Comic book artists like Jim Lee, Todd McFarlane, Adam Hughes and Bruce Timm were my personal heroes. I couldn’t believe what these guys could do with a pen and paper. Their art continues to drive me to be a better artists to this day. I also grew up with a heavy passion for animation, obviously Disney has had a huge impact on me. I am also a huge Star Wars fan, I even went to art school in San Francisco in hopes of getting a job with Lucasfilm. I love drawing new and exciting characters with a range of visuals. So sometimes I like drawing realism or stylized comic book characters and sometimes I want to draw wacky and very loose characters like from "Adventure Time". There isn’t one specific thing I enjoy drawing the most, I like to learn and try different things all the time. It helps me broaden my artistic pallet, the more things I know how the draw the better I can express myself visually.

 Me: You have done quite a few Batman pieces, you're a major Batman fan I take it?

DJ: HUGE Batman fan. Batman has probably been the biggest driving force in my artistic ambition, and has been an obsession of mine since seeing the 1989 film in theaters. "Batman The Animated Series" blew my mind as a kid, artists who provided character design on the show like Bruce Timm and Shane Glines are some of my biggest heros. But I have to say I am a bigger Joker fan, the clown prince of crime is my absolute favorite. I have a very large toy collection and I keep all my Batman pieces closest to my drafting table to help inspire me and keep me going.

Me: A lot of artists draw Star Wars or "Doctor Who" pieces, but I don't think you have done that yet, am I right? Will you in the future?

DJ: Yes, like I said earlier I am a huge Star Wars fan. Boba Fett was one of the first characters I memorized how to draw as a kid, I had piles of star wars drawings littering my room growing up. I don’t have any pieces out there right now, but I can guarantee you that they are coming. I can also say that there will be some pieces of a certain mad man with box on their way.

Me: So, being a comic book fan, I have to ask... DC or Marvel? I am a Marvel fan through and through, but I do read "Batman" in the new 52 series.

DJ: Well, that’s a tricky question. I grew up with both, but I think it’s very common to hear people say “I am a Marvel fan… but I also love Batman.” Batman has enough series that he kind of makes up its own comic genre. My subscription box at the comic shop is mostly devoted to Batman series: "Batman", "Detective Comics", "Batgirl", "Nightwing", "Batman and Robin", "Batman Inc", "Catwoman", etc etc. Of course with that said I am also a Marvel fan, loved reading X-Men back in the day. Was very excited to meet Chris Claremont this year at a convention, I had him sign my "Uncanny X-Men"  #266 the first appearance of Gambit. I am also addicted to Brain Bendis’s new Hawkeye series, it’s amazing.

Me: You have a website called Crabbysquid. Where did that name come from, Deej?

DJ: Yeah, I kind of like squids. If you look at my signature on my art you’ll notice there is a little squid underneath my name. My squid obsession came from my love for Walt Disney’s 1954 film 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Another piece of pop culture that fueled my artistic drive. I have tons of framed 20k art and memorabilia from the movie and the Disney theme park attractions it inspired. The squid scene was my favorite part of the film and that image really sank in. I doodled squids all the time and it just stuck and became my staple. I really enjoy strange aquatic animals. My Zodiac sign is a Cancer so I am also fond of crabs, so that’s where the “crabby” part comes from.

Me: I dig the logo, did you come up with it?

DJ: The little dapper Crabby Squid comes from a very old painting I did, which you can see on my website.

Me: I'll show it here...

DJ: The painting featured two divers being attacked by a large tentacles and in the corner of the painting I had a short grumpy looking squid wearing a monocle and top hat. I intended him to be the villain of the painting, commanding the larger squid to attack our heroes. A snidley whiplash like squid, I really enjoyed that image. So when it came the time to create a logo for my business I felt he best personified a “crabby squid”.

Me: Speaking of logo's, I like to ask artists what they think of the Phile's logo. What do you think, and if you were gonna design one, what would it look like?

DJ: I think you should have a cartoon version of yourself, giving the thumbs up. Your own seal of approval with your face on it.

Me: Alright, get to work on it. LOL. I have to ask about "Artist Alley", your web series. What is the premise and how long have you been doing that?

DJ: The premise was to help inspire young artists who are interested in getting involved in the convention art scene . We Interviewed already established artists who travel the country going to conventions professionally. We wanted them to provide insight and tips to our viewers who might be curious about taking their art to the next step and showing it off and selling it at conventions. We have big plans for artist alley and its going to expand past just conventions, we want to interview a bunch of different types of artists. We want to create a series where young artists can watch and get inspired no matter what type of art they create.

Me: You do "Artist Alley" with another artist, am I right?

DJ: Yes, my best friend John Henselmeier ( John is an amazing graphic designer, screen printer, and sculptor . He is a freelance artist for Disney and his work can be seen all over Disney theme parks. John had been making vlogs on YouTube for a long time and already had a very established audience and fan base. So it was the perfect launching point for our "Artist Alley" project. Me and John both have very different artistic styles but we are very much a team and often collaborate on art together.

Me: Maybe I can get John on the Phile. I have to mention I love your Simpson's Planet of the Apes poster. I have to show it here...

Me: How did you come up with the look? It's fantastic.

DJ: Thank you! The Planet of the Apes musical is my favorite Simpson's bit, and it baffled me that I had never seen any art based on it. Like I said before I am always looking to learn new styles, so I took it upon myself to study and learn the Simpson's character studies. I had this idea for a Broadway style poster advertising the musical. So I drew it all out in pencils and inked it, then brought it into the computer where I digitally inked and colored it. This piece is a good example of combining different mediums to create one finished piece.

Me: Next year you're gonna have a table at MegaCon, which is cool. Will this be your first con you'll have a table at, DJ?

DJ: Yes, this is my first convention where I'll be selling my work, I am very excited. I have always wanted to present at a con, doing "Artist Alley" was the first step in the process and helped me work up the courage to finally take that jump.

Me: Do you go to a lot of con's? You don't cosplay, do you?

DJ: Haha. Yes, I've been going to cons for awhile, I started out by going to San Diego Comic Con every year. Actually I used to be very involved in the cosplay community back in the day, my cousin was very much into cosplay and she is the one who got me into cons. I haven't cosplayed in almost 10 years though, I think the last time I did was San Diego Comic Con 2004. I still have a lot of friends who cosplay and are very talented costume artists. I just don't have the sewing and costuming skill to make it a full time hobby, I'll focus on my paintings for now.

Me: I love conventions but I don't cosplay, I'm took old for that. Is there one convention you'd love to go to and be a part of one day?

DJ: I think San Diego Comic Con is considered the big leagues, it is very difficult to nab an artist booth there due to the level of profesionalism in attendance. Conventions are growing in size across the country, so there are more option then there used to be when it come to cons artists can present at. Me and John are going to New York Comic Con in October to check things out, that might be an option in the future. We are already looking at booking other cons across the country for the 2014 convention season, but we will see what happens.

Me: Alright, man, on the Phile I ask random question thanks to Tabletopics. Are you ready? Is it more essential to develop beliefs or gain knowledge?

DJ: Gain knowledge, that's what Batman would do. Study and learn new and exciting things, once you latch onto a belief you limit yourself to growth. Never stop learning and never stop growing.

Me: Thanks for being on the Phile, DJ. Go ahead and plug your website and tell readers where they can watch "Artists Alley".

DJ: My website is, you can check out some paintings and drawings I have up there. Also I can be found on social media @djclulow on both Twitter and Instagram. There is a link to "Artist Alley" on my "about page", just click on the logo.

Me: Take care, Deej, and please back soon.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Debbie Boldacious and Jon Carson and of course DJ Clulow. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Deirdre Broderick, who is stepping in for Sid Bernstein who passed away a month ago. Then next Saturday it's Steve "Lips" Kudlow from the legendary heavy metal band Anvil. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Strawberry Blondes Forever!

1 comment:

DB said...

HAHA i'm going to write the following in CAPITALS so it really hammers it home - I LIKE YOU JASON!
HaHa, just so long as you don't start dressing/acting up/being as stupid as Bland, then we will be cool haha, thanks for pheaturing me!