Hello, kids, and welcome to the 101st entry of the Phile, the web's most updated blog. Last Tuesday Jen and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Ten years! And I
am still alive. That's a decade, you know. We were planning on going to California for
our tenth, but right now California is already cooking, if you know what I mean. Those wildfires — what a mess; 1,500 homes have been destroyed. Today, Rodney King asked Mother Nature if we could all just get along. President Bush is in a tough spot. On one hand, he wants to be sympathetic to the people who’ve lost their homes; on the other, he doesn’t want to appear more sympathetic to the wealthy mostly white people who live in Malibu than he was to the people who lived in New Orleans. So what he’s doing tomorrow is he’s making a visit to LL Cool J’s house. This week Britney Spears hit another photographer. If she hits one more she gets a free medium Slurpee at 7-Eleven. Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson is getting some heat for not campaigning hard enough. He hasn’t been to South Carolina in more than a month; he canceled his trip to New Hampshire, another important state; and then he scrapped a press conference on Saturday. He’s pretty laid back about the whole thing. He says his strategy is working though. In fact he’s just put out a new ad: “He’s lazy; he’s late; and he doesn’t give a damn. Fred Thompson is all American. Fred Thompson for president. Or not. Whatever.” David Beckham and the LA Galaxies played their final game of the year Sunday. They got shut out by Chicago. The loss means the Galaxies will not be playing the post season. Out of 13 teams only five didn’t make the playoffs, and the Galaxy was one of them. That $50 million a year they’re paying Beckham really paid off. He scored exactly zero goals during the season.
Okay, this is the 101st entry of the Phile, so here are some facts about it. The very first post was originally done on Sept. 11th, 2005 with an editorial about 9/11. After that I posted four more lame entries with a few jokes (that were very rude) and a few dumb comments. In January of 2006 I deleted the Phile and started fresh with the Peverett Phile (Revisited) on Jan. 8th. That entry had no monologue, three jokes, and some pictures. The fonts were all messed up, and it looks messy now. The second entry had a top ten list under Canned Laughter and the first of Movie Buzz. I try to publish the entry every Thursday but during the summer of '06 when I was working at Star Wars Weekends, I posted on Sundays. I did the same this past year. Last summer as well the Phile had reached 2000 views. As far as the monologue goes, I get some jokes from Cona and Letterman and occassionally Leno, as well as make some up myself and from friends. Also, I refer to Wikipedia now and then. I want to thank everybody you reads the Phile thanks for reading, and I hope to do it for another 100 or so entries.
FLORIDA IS BASS ACKWARDS
A Clearwater man boarded a plane bound for Albany, NY at Tampa International Airport (TIA) Saturday with gunshot wounds. The Pinellas County sheriff's office said William J. Notaro, 37, was shot during a domestic dispute at an apartment complex in Dunedin. Deputies say a woman shot Notaro during an argument in the torso and arm. They say a friend helped him dress the wounds before making a pre-scheduled flight at TIA. Notaro endured a one hour flight to Charlotte, NC, where he had a layover. Deputies say the bleeding became noticeable as Notaro tried to change planes at the Charlotte Airport. Charlotte police said Notaro wanted to keep traveling to his final destination but airport police took him to the hospital instead. Deputies say he was treated at Carolinas Medical Center before resuming his journey to Albany to visit family. It's unclear how Notaro was able to get through security at TIA without anyone noticing he was injured. A TIA spokeswoman says Notaro didn't ask anyone for assistance and said people are able to pass through security with metal rods in their bodies. Deputies are following leads on a suspect, even though Notaro has indicated that he may not wish to prosecute.
TODAY IN HISTORY
During the Crimean War's Battle of Balaclava, Lord Ragland orders the British cavalry corps on a suicide mission to capture artillery guns protected by 19,000 Russian troops. Hundreds are needlessly killed in what is later known as the Charge of the Light Brigade.
Birthday of Klaus Barbie, infamous Nazi War Criminal. After World War II, US Intelligence helped the "Butcher of Lyons" enter Bolivia, where he lived openly for many years in the capital, La Paz. Barbie was finally deported to France in 1987.
The Archbishop of Dubuque, the Most Reverend Francis J.L. Beckman, denounces the newfangled Swing music -- the latest craze -- as nothing more than "a degenerated musical system... turned loose to gnaw away the moral fiber of young people." Its cannibalistic rhythms are said to lead one down the "primrose path to Hell."
In chair number four of the barber shop at the Park Sheraton hotel in Manhattan, Mafia don Albert Anastasia is shot five times by the Gallo Brothers, under orders from Carlo Gambino.
In order to maintain an uninterrupted supply of nutmeg to satisfy global demand, the United States of America invades the Caribbean island of Grenada. The invasion is rationalized as a rescue mission for American medical school rejects stuck in a sleazy offshore diploma mill.
On the way back from a Huey Lewis concert, rock promoter Bill Graham is killed when his helicopter hits high-voltage power lines in Vallejo, California.
NUTTED BY REALITY
Bonanza is disgusting. No, no, no ... not Bonanza with the Ponderosa! Hop Sing could always cook up a fine feast and the Cartwrights never fussed about hard labor. The episode title refers to Bonanza City, New Mexico. You know -- 40 days, 40 kids (well, 38 kids now and almost three weeks less), and no adults. Well, they say no adults, but believe me, it's the adults putting everything in motion. But it is indeed the kids of "Kid Nation" who make this show worth watching. It's the kids who, by being themselves, bring me entertainment each week. Oh, but Bonanza City is indeed disgusting. Or, it was before the adult push of the week. Okay, I know the show is heavily manipulated by the invisible adults who aren't there. No, it's not just in my mind. You can't see them except for Jonathan the host, but they're like gremlins hiding in the dark corners putting wacky ideas in the heads of these kids. I'm not crazy, I tell you! Shhh ... let me tell you a secret. It's the adults who write the journal to set up each episode theme. Yes, it's all a set-up in the world built by kids. Somehow, the kids in the town miraculously stumble upon the same problem as the town council leaders read about in the journal each week. I mean, this happens simultaneously. How spooky is that? This week, a half a dozen of the kids were complaining about how nasty their garbage dumping area was just as the town council read that they should do something about the garbage. Amazing! Of course, it can't be editing out of sequence ... or could it?
For some reason I feel a little short changed by this episode of Heroes. Yes, there were plenty of twists and turns and moments of... "Wait! What the heck just happened," but I still feel that not enough progressed in the storylines I care about (mainly Hiro, Peter, HRG, and Sylar). There was just enough to make this episode not a waste of a Monday -- as if I had something better to do.
Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
A really odd poster shows only co-star Neil Patrick Harris and features the slogan "What Would NPH Do?" Apparently, not being afraid to look like he'd be happy sitting in a rowboat with Dumbledore, for one thing. I mean, what's with the unicorn?
I Am Legend
There's a new trailer in which we finally get to see the creepy albino vampire creatures who want to suck Will Smith's blood and have him join their ranks. You know, kind of like Will's good friends Tom and Katie.
Heather Mills Biopic
With her divorce settlement of £50 million still looming, the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. McCartney seriously wants Reese Witherspoon to star in the movie about her life. The unofficial working title of the film is All You Need Is Paul's Cash.
The Dark Knight
While there's no official word on when a full trailer will be ready, a candle burning down in a jack-o-lantern here has led to speculation that one may drop on Halloween. Or the candle is just a subtle message from producers to director Christopher Nolan about how much money is left in his budget.
Superman: The Man of Steel
With the Superman Returns screenwriters off the sequel, fan-favorite comic-book writer Mark Millar says he wants the job "like Hillary wants thin ankles." I hope if he gets the job, he does a complete revamp of ol' Supes the way Rudy likes to wear a dress now and again.
Finally, we can now watch the first official trailer, complete with Sly in action and a very serious narrator who reminds us that we "know what he's capable of." If the narrator means mumbling his lines and making goofy grimaces, then yeah, we know.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
The first picture of Jet Li in action has finally hit, and it features the martial-arts master's foot flying right at Brendan Fraser's face. Is it just me, or does the look on Li's face scream, "And this is for George of the Jungle!"
The Lovely Bones
Ryan Gosling's out and Mark Wahlberg's in as the grieving father. Reportedly, Peter Jackson fired Gosling because the young method actor gained so much weight for the part that he "looked like he was wearing a fat suit." Ironically, Jackson's first choice to play the grieving mom was John Travolta in drag, but he dropped out, too.
Apparently the sixth Chucky film will be a remake of the original rather than a sequel. Plus, this time all the murder weapons will be toys, too, including death by Easy Bake Oven.
Gena Rowlands bragged in a TV interview that son Nick Cassavetes is going to direct. Yeesh, the only accomplishment my mom bragged about to people was when I started going poopie by myself.
Wll, that's it for another entry. I have a bad headache so I won't be able to add more stuff today. And I have to go pick Logan up from school. I do still want to hit 3000 views by Christmas, and we are so close. Until next week, spread the word, not the turd.