Monday, May 28, 2007

Iraq: Who Would Miss It?

Happy Memorial Day, and are you enjoying the Summer of Love? So, here we are again, with another Phile update. Seems like only a few days ago I posted a blog. Congratulations to Jordin Sparks. She’s the new American Idol. The moment was spoiled when Paula Abdul tripped over her. She’s the youngest winner ever. To give you some idea how young she is, she called Simon Cowell, "Mr. Asshole.”
Paris Hilton has been spotted carrying a Bible around. A lot of people think she’s only trying to improve her image. Paris denied this and said, "I’m very religious. In fact, I scream out ‘Oh God’ more than anyone.” Apple Computer, makers of my wonderful iMac witht he 24 inch screen, is suing the manufacturer of a vibrator called "The Igasm” because they say it infringes on the IPod’s copyright. Legal experts say Apple has a good case because the vibrator holds up to 15 songs. A 60-year-old woman who just gave birth to twins, says, "Age has been redefined.” Her doctor said, "That’s easy for you to say. You didn’t have to see what I was looking at." Michael Jackson is in the Middle East. Bahrain. He’s appearing at a private birthday party for $10 million. It’s a children’s birthday party. It’s only $10 million, but it’s all Michael could afford. A guy in Cairo tried to sneak 700 snakes on to a plane. I wonder where he got the idea for snakes on a plane.
Congratulations to Vice President Dick Cheney. His daughter gave birth to a baby boy. Isn’t his daughter a . . . uh . . . I guess I know a lot less than I thought I knew.
Friday was the 30th anniversary of the premier of Star Wars. They’re having a huge convention with 10,000 fans. Last night at the convention center they had a 17-hour marathon screening of all the Star Wars films. It’s amazing how much fun you can have when you’re not tied down to a girlfriend, or your own apartment, or self esteem . . . 


Margene Henrickson from "Big Love". Played by: Ginnifer Goodwin. If I were a polygamists, I'd want to marry Margene too. In any other life, the bubbly, sweet 24-year-old might be hanging out with friends, going to concerts and flirting up a storm at the local bar.


Hear about the new household cleaner on the market? It's called "Bachelor." It works fast, and leaves no ring.

A boy is waiting for the school bus and decides to push over the outhouse. When he gets home his father is waiting for him, belt in hand. He says, "Son, did you push over the outhouse?" The son replies, "Well, Dad, we learned about George Washington in school today and like him I cannot tell a lie. Yes, I pushed over the outhouse." The father says, "You do realize you're going to be punished now, right?" The son protests, "But Dad, when George Washington told the truth about cutting down the cherry tree, he didn't get punished!" His father replies, "Well, George Washington's father wasn't IN the cherry tree."

Q: How do you confuse a liberal? A: You can't. They're born that way.


Manhattan Project scientists Klaus Fuchs and John von Neumann file for a secret patent on their design for the hydrogen bomb initiator.
America launches a Jupiter rocket containing a rhesus monkey named Able and a squirrel monkey named Miss Baker. After experiencing nine minutes of microgravity, the capsule successfully returns to Earth with both monkeys intact. However, Able dies during surgery to remove his electrodes.
Former Milwaukee police officer and Playboy bunny Laurie "Bambi" Bemenek breaks into the house of her husband's ex-wife and murders her. Prosecutors will claim that Bemenek was incensed over the amount of alimony her husband was paying. Bambi later escapes from prison in 1990, fleeing to Canada.
German teenager Matthias Rust lands his Cessna in Moscow's Red Square, buzzing the Kremlin on the way in. He serves 18 months in prison for this prank, which also costs the commander of the Soviet Air Command his job.
Talented comedian Phil Hartman dies at the hand of his crazy wife Brynne, who then commits suicide after the police arrive. Hartman's corpse is found in bed with multiple gunshot wounds to the head. "SNL" televises a very bad retrospective of his work several weeks later.


A Marvel Comics hero is giving George Washington some company on the quarter, but the U.S. Mint doesn’t think the stunt is so super. To promote the upcoming film Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, 20th Century Fox and The Franklin Mint altered 40,000 U.S. quarters to feature the character. The U.S. Mint said in a news release Friday that it learned of the promotional quarter this week and advised the studio and The Franklin Mint they were breaking the law. It is illegal to turn a coin into an advertising vehicle, and violators can face a fine. “The promotion is in no way approved, authorized, endorsed, or sponsored by the United States Mint, nor is it in any way associated or affiliated with the United States Mint,” according to the release. The federal mint did not say whether the studio or the private Franklin Mint would face a penalty. The altered coins are quarters honoring the state of California that entered circulation in 2005. They feature George Washington on the front, as usual, but a colorized version of the character on the back. All 40,000 are slated to be in circulation throughout the country by the end of Memorial Day weekend, and about 800 were released in each state. Fans who find the customized quarters can enter a contest online to win prizes and a private screening of the movie. The Franklin Mint mainly produces collectibles or commemorative medallions. Unlike its other commemorative coins, these aren’t being sold, said Franklin Chairman Moshe Malamud. He emphasized that putting the character on the coin didn’t alter the integrity of the coin. “We are very, very protective of the currency of this country. Our goal was to enhance the coin,” Malamud said. Fox spokesman Chris Petrikin said that neither the studio nor The Franklin Mint intended to violate any laws or “suggest that there was any approval from the U.S. Mint or the U.S. Government” for the Silver Surfer coins. “These are commemorative coins like many the Franklin Mint creates on a regular basis for various properties,” he said. “We were confident this coin followed the same procedures and guidelines but will certainly take any necessary steps if advised otherwise.” If anybody finds one of the coins, I'll give you twenty-five cents for it.


I find myself questioning two things about "On The Lot" and neither is really a negative thing about the show, which I find myself enjoying. Foremost, what's with the bizarre airing schedule? Like I said last week, Fox really should have capitalized on the huge "American Idol" lead in by airing a two hour episode that really illustrated what this show is all about. These first few episodes really seem to be focusing on the "personalities" and the conflicts they appear to be having. Specifically, the beef between Marty and Jeff and the issues Hanna and Jessica have with Kenny. If there was ever an opportunity to break the inner quarreling so prevalent (and popular) in reality TV, this show could have been the one that did it simply by focusing on the movies. Secondly, I really wish we could see more of the films. Of the 12 shorts that could have been viewed, we were only able to see four of them in full. I would have loved to see all 12 and considering they were only 2 1/2 minutes long, it could have been done. Sure, you can go to the website to view them, but how many casual TV watchers who catch the show are going to go through the trouble? Of course, there was a bit of a time crunch since it was only 35 minutes long, which brings us back to issue one again. Why didn't they just dedicate a full hour to this episode? I realize the show will eventually be all about the movies once America gets to start voting on the films. It just seems like the show should be focusing on them more intently from the get go. Last week's episode ended with the 36 remaining directors placed in groups of three to film a 2 1/2 minute short that would determine if they remained in the competition. The logline of the film was appropriately enough "out of time" since they are all in a bit of a time crunch to produce a quality piece of work. Time crunch or not, I was absolutely blown away by Zach, Sam, and Adam's film with the impressive special effects. All I could say was wow - and by the "holy crap" expressions on the faces of the other directors in the audience, they were impressed and a little intimidated by his skills. They showed Zach's "shooting a UFO with a rocket" clip several times in the last two episodes, and I was floored every time I saw it. It's insane how professional the shot looks and he showed the same flair in the short that showcased all the objects freezing in midair. As movies like Armageddon and Pearl Harbor show, it takes much more than special effects to make a good movie, but they certainly help in winning over an audience. I can't wait to see how far his talents take him.
On a side note, I'm surprised that when the directors use esoteric terms like the "boom pole", the producers expect the audience to understand exactly what they're talking about. There really should be a little "pop-up video" like definition that appears to let us laymen understand what all the terms mean. A little nit picky on my part I know, but it's a suggestion I'm sure others would appreciate as well. All in all, I enjoyed the special effects film and the laundromat film. I was slightly less impressed with the other two films that were shown. They weren't bad, but they definitely lacked the appeal of the first two. I'll be eager to see what the 25 remaining amateur filmmakers have up their sleeves. If this week was any indication, we should be in for a pretty amazing ride the rest of the season.


When I first read this rumor, there was a part of me that already knew it was false -- even though the words came straight from George Lucas himself. Earlier this month, apparently Lucas told some folks that he was planning to make two live-action made-for-TV Star Wars films in addition to the "Clone Wars" animated series and, from what I gathered, the other live-action series. But see, this is where the language got all choppy. It now appears as if Lucas was talking about the live-action series and not these supposed live-action films, so I'm thinking the original reporter (ahem, Fox News) fudged the whole thing up. Gee, who woulda thunk it? Movieweb snagged an interview with Lucasfilm's Steven Sansweet who, thankfully, cleared the whole thing up. When asked whether there was any truth to those "two new films" rumors, he replied: "No, no, no, no. There are going to be two more Star Wars television series. One of them is well into production. That is "Star Wars: Clone Wars". It's a CG animated show, which we suspect will be on the air sometime next year. And then George and Rick McCullen were just now starting work on a live action series. A drama. That will probably be coming out in 2009 or 2010." When informed that those rumors were currently making their way around the internet, Sansweet added: There is no truth to that whatsoever. I haven't even seen that rumor. I can absolutely tell you that is not true." There you have it folks -- Sansweet confirms the stupidity of a rumor that was ridiculous to begin with. And I'd like to personally thank Fox News for wasting all of our time. Don't let it happen again ...


Although it's on course to finish with the highest four-day Memorial Day weekend debut ever, Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End took in only $112.5 million from Friday to Sunday -- and that was in a record-squashing 4,362 theaters; 110 more theaters than Spider-Man 3. If you tack on the $14 million it took in during those Thursday night screenings, you're looking at $126 million; a number that's certainly respectable, even though it comes nowhere near the three-day opening for Dead Man's Chest ($135.6 million) last year. So what happened? How did both Spider-Man 3 ($151.1 million) and Shrek the Third ($121.6 million) top Pirates in the three-day totals when it clearly beat those other two in terms of entertaining its fanbase? The only major reason I could come up with was good weather. Seriously. This weekend produced sunny skies for the majority of the country; here on the east coast, it was near 90 degrees for all three days -- the perfect beach weather, and definitely the best Memorial Day weekend in the past few years. Could it be that people were too busy firing up the barbecues and breaking out the sun screen to shell out 10 bucks to go see a movie? I know I was. Granted, Pirates did have heftier competition; keep in mind Shrek the Third still took in $51 million while Spider-Man 3 managed $13 million. If Shrek wasn't in the picture, there's a pretty good chance Pirates would have soared past Spidey. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. When it was all said and done, Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End had the fifth-biggest opening ever, but is that enough for Disney to continue the franchise? And now that its biggest threat is out the way, are there any other films coming down the pipeline that are strong enough to top Spidey's massive $151 million opening? So, I ask you: In your opinion, how come Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End finished behind both Spidey and Shrek in its opening weekend?


U2 3-D
The 3-D for this film will make it seem like you're really at a concert by the Irish rock band. Before I decide if I want to go see this: Can any U2 fan tell me if girls at their shows take off their tops?
John Rambo
Sly beheads, eviscerates and blows up the bad guys with a machine gun to save a group of Christian missionaries. I'd hate to see what he'd do to save a bunch of atheists.
The Golden Compass
In the first trailer, New Line tries hard to convince everybody that if you enjoyed an epic trilogy about a magic ring, then you'll also enjoy one about a magic compass. Hey, if we're making movies about accessories, I've got an old script about an enchanted pocket protector they're gonna love.
Stopping Power
Speed director Jan de Bont's next film will star John Cusack and end with a 51-minute car-and-helicopter chase scene that plays out in real time. If you live in L.A. you see that just about every night on the news.
In the new Michael Moore doc stars a man who sawed off the top of his middle and ring fingers, but only has the smaller one reattached. Now, when he gets cut off in traffic and he wants to give somebody the finger, he literally gives somebody his finger.
I Know Who Killed Me
If you go to the film's official site and lie about your age during registration, you can watch Lindsay Lohan dance around in her underwear in the clip called "She's Different." Which is, of course, way less of what we've seen of her on gossip sites all over the web already.
Amy Adams is a fairy princess who gets transported to Times Square and must choose between her handsome Prince Charming and McDreamy from "Grey's Anatomy". Those are fine choices, but I think she'd be better off with that Naked Cowboy guy who performs in his underwear there.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Jessica Alba has her wedding ruined by an out-of-control helicopter. At least now she has some practice for when the Us Weekly paparazzi inevitably crash her real wedding.

Well, that's it for another entry of the Phile. The enxt entry will be either next Sunday or Monday. Stay tuned. I hope to have the artwork to the Peverett Phile swag soon, then youwill be able to buy the stuff on One more thing, now we are over 2000 views, my next goal is to hit 3000 by Christmas. So, spread the word, not the turd. 'Nuff said.

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