Thursday, May 17, 2007

Donkey Talk

Hello, and welcome to the Peverett Phile. Tomorrow Shrek The Third will be released. My wife said I could play any character from that movie just about. Shrek, because he's fat and goofy looking, Donkey because he's an ass and won't shut up, or Puss in boots, just because he's a pussy. I don't understand. Donald Trump had a new granddaughter over the weekend. I did the math on this: Trump’s new granddaughter will graduate from high school the same year as his next wife. There was a Republican presidential debate last night. The Republican candidates looked like the evil law firm in a John Grisham movie. There’s a rumor coming out of Washington that Vice President Dick Cheney, when he was CEO of Halliburton, used to visit prostitutes. This would explain why one girl was paid 2 billion dollars. The other night Fox News aired the second Republican presidential debate. My favorite part was when the white guy went after those two white guys, and three other whites guys chimed in. Mike Huckabee got a big laugh when he said Congress has been spending money like John Edwards at a beauty salon. Then he got an even bigger laugh when he said he was running for president. Broadway’s Tony nominations came out this week. As for the people who care about the Tony nominations? They came out a long time ago. Paris Hilton is going to jail. It’s been announced that when Paris gets to jail, her cell will only be 8 feet by 12 feet. Which explains why Paris just purchased an 8-by-12-foot ceiling mirror. Very hot today. So hot today that Iran is enriching popsicles. So hot today that Paris Hilton is happy to be going to the "cooler.” Bob Barker, the host of "The Price Is Right” for the last 35 years, is retiring. That is amazing. What is more exciting than a housewife from Reseda trying to guess the price of a riding mower? In New York City, they’re trying to pass a law that would require strippers to pay taxes on the money they earn for lap dances. This law is for every guy who has said, "This lap dance is great, but I wish there was something to fix potholes and build schools.” In a new video promoting Hillary Clinton’s campaign, former President Clinton says, "There are a lot of things about Hillary that voters may not know.” Then he said, "For instance, she has a smoking-hot assistant.”
In a new interview, actress Ellen Barkin says that when she’s dating a new guy, she likes to have sex before dinner to see if it’s worth going to dinner. Meanwhile, Kirstie Alley says that when she’s dating a new guy, she likes to have dinner before dinner. Miami was voted the worst road rage state. You have 20 year olds doing 95, and 95 year olds doing 20, that’s why. President Bush was busy over the weekend. In Virginia he attended some big event, and I guess he got up at one point on the spur of the moment and he conducted a 400-piece orchestra. Apparently, it was the first time ever a 400-piece orchestra has ever played "The Wheels on the Bus.” Big news from England. British Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced that he will step down next month. After hearing this President Bush said, "That’s a shame. He’s the only world leader who took the time to learn English.” Anheuser-Bush is being accused of creating a new alcoholic drink designed to appeal to underage drinkers. The critics may have a point: The new drink is called Harry Potter and the Malt Liquor. Wal-Mart has announced they’re going to open health clinics in some of their stores. Wal-Mart health clinics. Wal-Mart’s health clinics are for those people who don’t want to spend money on those fancy K-Mart doctors. Jessica Simpson announced that she has to avoid eating dairy products because, this is her quote, "It makes me emit gas from all ends.” It’s all in her new book, "Just in Case You Thought I was Hot.” Republican presidential candidate Duncan Hunter revealed that he drives a Chevy Suburban with 274,000 miles on it. Despite all those miles, the Suburban has a much better chance of making it to the ’08 election than Duncan Hunter. 

Okay, now for a new feature on the Phile called...


Sam Taggart from "ER" played by: Linda Cardellini. Sam takes a no-nonsense, tough love approach when dealing with her patients, her son and her lovers. She's got a troubled past and an uncertain future, making her one of the most complex TV moms today. Plus, she makes nurse scrubs look super-sexy.


A man who spent his lifesavings after being told he had months to live is seeking compensation after doctors in Britain conceded they had got the diagnosis wrong. John Brandrick, 62, was told two years ago that he had terminal pancreatic cancer. He decided to spend his remaining time in style, quitting his job and spending his savings on hotels, restaurants and holidays. A year later, doctors at the Royal Cornwall Hospital in southwest England revised their diagnosis: Brandrick was suffering from pancreatitis, a nonfatal ailment. "My life has been turned upside down by this," Brandrick said. "I was told certainly, by the doctor, that I had cancer, and from that day I lived life in full. I was told I had limited time to live. I got rid of everything - my car, my clothes, everything." Brandrick said he did not want to take the hospital to court, "but if they have made the wrong decision they should pay me something back." The hospital said there was "no clear evidence of negligence" on its part. "Whilst we do sympathize with Mr. Brandrick's position, clinical review of his case has not revealed that any different diagnosis would have been made at the time based on the same evidence," a spokesman said on customary condition of anonymity.


This episode got off to a quick start picking up right where we left off last week with Peter Petrelli on the verge of combustion. Peter nearly had Claire shoot him as they had previously discussed, but fortunately, he seemed to gain control of his newly absorbed power. Which brings me to this question: Why is it Peter can absorb powers by standing next to someone, but Sylar has to "rip your head open" to quote Claire? I'm sure someone will let me know in the comments. I'm guessing it's not just a personal preference. Peter's involvement from this point forward was fairly limited, but we can see from the previews that all hell is going to break loose next week, and Peter and Sylar will have their much anticipated standoff. Nathan Petrelli continues to bug me. Throughout the entire first season he's had several opportunities to be a good person and potentially avert a lot of the chaos that is destined to occur, but he always brushes those opportunities aside and continues forward. Case in point was the conversation that took place when Hiro confronted him on the streets and offered him the chance to not become a bad man. I loved that Hiro called him out on the fact that he's already a bad man. I also liked his repeated cry of "villain, villian, VILLIAN". Nathan is a difficult character to read. There's times I think he's good but more often than not he seems a little evil. I also wonder if he's sincerely happy that his wife is newly mobile. I was surprised she didn't seem to make the connection that Linderman healed her. Let me be the first to say that Hiro's dad is an absolute badass and you could tell Hiro loved discovering this from the cheesy grin on his face when his dad broke out the ninjitsu moves and put the sword to Hiro's throat. I never really suspected that Hiro's dad was anything other than the CEO of a large Japanese company, but it was pretty interesting to learn that he's actually a major player in the Heroes' mythology. I would love to see an entire episode dedicated to his "allies with powers who fought to save the world but lost their way". The entire sequence where Hiro trained with his father was riveting stuff. I'm wondering if Hiro saying "to save what is important I must be strong enough to cut out my own heart" means he will have to perform some form of the sacred Seppuku ritual in his battle with Sylar.
It was also cool to see Hiro become proficient with the sword in such a short period of time. The Kaito Nakamura Dojo is truly a center of martial arts excellence. I enjoyed the humor the writers inject into what could otherwise be some stark subject matter. I chuckled a bit when Candace was stuffing food in her mouth and confessed to being huge hinting at the fact that she simply makes other people see her as thin and attractive. I imagine if given a poll, a good portion of the viewing audience would adore utilizing her power on a day to day basis more so than the power of any other Hero. Or maybe that's just me... I also laughed out loud when Parkman convinced the security guard to let him through the gates by pulling the "you didn't want anyone to find out about" routine. You could see Parkman struggling to read the guard's thoughts and I found it humorous that he chose an item most guys would have some reservations revealing. Funny stuff. In the real world are you allowed to take people, even kids, with you into a voting booth? Doesn't matter. As everyone speculated in the comments Micah was being utilized by Linderman to manipulate the votes. Just another reason we need to get rid of those stupid E-voting machines... The three deaths in the final fifteen minutes of the episode had me reeling. Bennett breaking out the "your last thought" line was priceless, and a little unexpected. Sylar taking out Ted in typical Sylar fashion was imminent, but that didn't make it any less grotesque watching the forehead slicing. Finally, Linderman's death was spectacular. I've always found D.L.'s power to be interesting, but a bit dull. When Linderman's eyes were bulging I was a bit confused, but then I saw the ginormous hole in the back of his skull and all became clear. Good times. Of course, considering Linderman heals things, it's not too far a stretch to think we'll be seeing him again sometime next season. This was an exceptional entertaining and violent episode and a great lead-in to what will probably be one of the best hours of television all year next week. Can't wait for the finale.


After X-Men: The Last Stand, Marvel spokesman Avi Arad had put the brakes on any plans for an X-Men 4 -- much to the relief to anyone who was worried that Brett Ratner was going to return for another film. Instead, fan focus has been directed towards the Wolverine and Magneto solo films. MTV Movie Blog sat down with Arad to talk about the upcoming Magneto prequel recently, and Arad seems enthusiastic about what writer/director David Goyer (Batman Begins) has shown him so far, saying that the script will finally give Magneto,"the origin story he so richly deserves." There is no word yet on who will play the young Magneto, but last year we had received confirmation from X-Men's F/X supervisor John Bruno that Ian McKellen would be in the film in some capactiy -- but despite talk of "de-aging" McKellen for the film, there is no way around hiring a much younger actor. Some sites are already reporting that Justin Chatwin, the star of Goyer's recent film The Invisible, is in talks, but that's all rumor. So far, details are still sketchy on plot detail, and whether 'The Brotherhood', or any other X-Men will be making an appearance in the film. Arad did give some hints of what to expect, saying‚ "Think of meeting him in [the first ‚ X-Men movie] as a young boy in a concentration camp. What happens to his life after the war? If his powers are real or not and the whole journey of his survival as a young man." Magneto is set for release in 2008, so stay tuned for updates as they come my way.


I am excited. I just learned that a 2-disc special edition of Joss Whedon's "Firefly" spinoff, Serenity, is on the way. And now, because I'm such a pathetic nerd when it comes to this particular TV series / movie, I'm elated to share the news on what'll be included on that dual-platter release (which hits the shelves on August 21). Plus there's some pretty nifty cover art ... but let's focus on the extra goodies right now. Here's what you'll find on the Serenity 2-disc special edition, and I'll italicize the stuff that was not on the single-disc release that you probably already own and have watched about 14 times: Audio commentary with writer/director Joss Whedon, Audio commentary with Whedon and actors Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Summer Glau and Ron Glass, Joss Whedon introduction, Deleted scenes with optional Whedon words, Extended scenes, Outtakes, Featurettes:"Take a Walk on Serenity" "Green Clan" "We'll Have a Fruity Oaty Good Time!" "A Filmmaker's Journey" "Future History: The Story of Earth That Was" "Re-lighting the Firefly" "What's in a Firefly?"
"Session 416". (Again, the italicized goodies are the "new" ones, unless you own all of the international Serenity DVDs, in which case the second commentary is the only truly NEW item. I think. I'm sure a smarter Browncoat than I will come along and correct any glitches I may have made.) And yes, this is the original theatrical cut: No "added scenes" or "director's cut" gimmickry here. Plus the cover art is pretty damn slick, albeit not exactly what I was expecting.

Check out this latest video clip from the Colbert Report on Comedy Central. Lot's of Foghat mentions.


Two youths discover a human skull on the banks of the Leine in Hanover, Germany. And although two more skulls are found a month later, police ignore it until a sackful of bones turn up on the riverbank. Dragging the Leine yields another 500 bones, belonging to about 27 victims. Eventually, police arrest Fritz Haarmann for the crimes. He would lure runaway boys back to his apartment, where they would be raped, killed, and cut into steaks. Then the unlicensed butcher would sell the meat as beef on the black market. All told, he killed between 40 and 50 boys.
During a gun battle with members of the Symbionese Liberation Army, the LAPD fires tear gas into their Watts hideout. The canisters ignite a fire which soon consumes the house. Three other SLA members, including kidnapped heiress Patty Hearst, watch the events unfold on TV in their motel room down the street from Disneyland.
A three-day race riot breaks out after an all-white jury acquits four white Miami police officers of killing Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance salesman. The cops had beaten him with their flashlights and billyclubs, and he died in the hospital. 18 fatalities and more than $100 million in property damage are the final result.
Bandleader, accordion player, and soap bubble aficionado Lawrence Welk dies of pneumonia in his beachfront condo in Santa Monica, California.


Fellow Travelers In a trilogy about the globe-hopping teen detective, Steven Spielberg will direct one of the films and Peter Jackson another. Quentin Tarantino says he wants to do a third one, in which Tintin sits around and talks about old Jonny Quest cartoons for an hour then gets involved in a really cool car chase.
The Dark Knight
Warner Bros. has launched the official logo. Oh, thank God … this time they're using a bat.
Blonde Ambition
In her new trailer, Jessica Simpson stars as a small-town nitwit who moves to the big city, hooks up with a good-looking guy and suddenly becomes popular and successful. Hmmm. That plot didn'twork out so well for her in "Newlyweds".
A thriller set during the making of Alfred Hitchcock's original Psycho sounds like an interesting idea. The weird thing is that Gus Van Sant is already planning a shot-by-shot remake of it.
Trailer Trash
Inspired by his Thanksgiving segment of Grindhouse, Eli Roth is planning an entire feature of nothing but fake trailers. When asked what an actual trailer to promote a movie of fake trailers would look like, his head exploded.
Point Break 2
The screenwriter of the original film plans to write and direct a sequel. To update it, instead of wearing a Ronald Reagan mask to rob banks, Patrick Swayze will wear a Bill Clinton mask and break into sorority houses to steal the sisters' underwear.


From the home office in Minneola, Florida, here is the very first Peverett Phile Top Ten.
Top Ten Surprises During Queen Elizabeth The Second's Visit To The White House
10. Main course was something Cheney shot on the lawn
9. President kept asking her if she knows Simon from "American Idol"
8. Instead of white tie and tails, Bush wore his Spider-man costume
7. She never took off her iPod
6. Upon hearing, "The Queen has arrived," Bush said, "McGreevey's here?"
5. While patting down the Queen, security found a box cutter
4. Kept asking to see where Bill and Monica got freaky
3. Festivities included a game of "Sexy Charades"
2. President Bush asked for an interpreter
1. Dinner interrupted when Hillary arrived to measure for new drapes

Well, that's it for another entry of the Phile. Merch is being planned, and we grow nearer and nearer to hit 2000 views. When I see the Shrek movie this weekend I will post a review in a Peverett Phile Extra entry. The Phile will be back next Thursday and through June it'll be updated on Sunday's 'cause of Star Wars Weekends. Spread the word, not the turd.

No comments: