Thursday, February 1, 2007

Lick Here To Add Me As A Friend

Rabbit. My grandmother always told me to say "rabbit" when I woke up on the first of the month as it would bring luck, and all my life I have. I cannot believe it's one month into the year already. Before we know it we'll be putting up Christmas decorations again. So, last weekend I went to the FX convention in Orlando. We were going to SeaWorld to see Sugarland in concert but Jen and Logan were both sick so I decided to go to FX for the first time in 15 years. I had a great time, feeling like a geek. I saw tons of celebrities there and really enjoyed it. Anyway, let's do some comedy. Yeah! President Bush visited the New York Stock Exchange. It was an awkward moment when President Bush asked, "When do I get to meet Dow Jones?” California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering a bill to ban the sale of incandescent light bulbs. Arnold isn’t worried about saving energy, he’s just tired of trying to say the word "incandescent.” Russia has announced it’s holding its annual beauty pageant for nuclear power plant workers. Apparently last year’s winner had the most beautiful three eyes they’ve ever seen. Barry Bonds in the news. Barry Bonds’ agent said that Bonds could hit as many as 1,000 home runs. And the agent admitted he’s on more drugs than Barry Bonds. There was an intruder at Prince Charles’ house last night . . . with a pitchfork. He entered the home while he and Camilla were asleep. But no one was harmed. The intruder fled after Camilla woke up and started barking. Michael Jackson in the news. Jermaine Jackson said on Monday he wants his brother Michael to convert to Islam. Michael said, "No thank you, I’ve already had 72 virgins.” Daniel Radcliffe, the actor who plays Harry Potter is causing a controversy because he’s appearing completely nude in a play. Critics say it’s a bold move for Radcliffe — especially since the play is "Oklahoma.” Lindsay Lohan had her appendix removed recently, and reportedly she was so worried it would be sold on eBay, she asked her doctor if she could take it with her. Unfortunately the doctor put the appendix in alcohol and Lindsay chugged it on the way home. This week was a big week for computer users around the world. Microsoft’s new operating system Windows Vista came out today. People lined up to buy it at midnight, partly because they want to be the first ones to check out the new features and partly just to hang out with other virgins. Millions of copies are being sold, but Microsoft says don’t worry, every single person in India is standing by waiting by their phones to do tech support if needed. This Sunday the Super Bowl will be in Miami, or as some people would call it, North Cuba. It's the Colts versus the Bears, and frankly I don't care who wins, I just want to see Prince's ass. Just kidding. And finally, John Kerry announced that he will not run for president in 2008, which leaves only several hundred Democratic candidates fro president . . .

UNFORTUNATE STAR WARS COSTUMES

You have to at least give it up for this guy for accepting the only Star Wars costume that is really appropriate for the dietary decisions he's made.

TODAY IN HISTORY

1861: Texas secedes from the Union, becoming independent once again. Since the articles of statehood passed by the U.S. Congress give Texas this right, it is perhaps the only state whose secession was legal. 1964: Governor Matthew Welsh of Indiana declares "Louie, Louie" by the Kingsen "pornographic". And while the FCC couldn't figure out the lyrics, the governor's move backfires by making the song one of the most covered titles in existence. 1968: In Saigon, South Vietnam's national police chief Brig. Gen. Nguyen Ngoc Loan summarily executes an accused Viet Cong spy with a bullet to the head. Unfortunately for the general, he happens to shoot him right in front of NBC cameraman Vo Suu and Associated Press photographer Eddie Adams. 1970: US Government report reveals that 31% of college students have tried pot, man. 1974: A fire on the 12th floor of the 25 story Joelma Bank Building in Sao Paulo Brazil, killing 177 and seriously burning 293. A crowd of 10,000 spectators hampered firefighters near the building. The new building's cheap construction was primarily at fault. 1976: Heisenberg may have died today. 1998: Michael King of Clayton, Georgia is charged with the baseball-bat beating death of Kenneth Paul Smith. King urinated in Smith's front yard, and after the property owner complained, he was severely beaten with a bat kept in King's Ford Mustang. 2003: The Space Shuttle Columbia blows up on re-entry, with its debris hitting homes and businesses in Nacogdoches Texas. 2004: During the MTV-provided halftime show of the Superbowl, former boy band member Justin Timberlake conducts an obviously pre-scripted move to expose Janet Jackson's right tit, which oddly sports a ninjitsu-style throwing star as a pasty. The nation is shocked, simply shocked, that a pristine, noncommercial event such as the Superbowl could be ruined by a Jackson.

HEROES

One of the things I enjoy almost every episode is how the the creative team of 'Heroes' manages to juggle so many characters reasonably well. The majority of the dozen-or-so major players in the half-dozen-or-so major plot threads have important and relevant scenes each time out, quite an accomplishment for just under forty-three minutes of television a week. But, nah, I didn't miss the Artist this time out. Monday's episode saw a number of broken relationships on the mend. On the way to the mend, anyhow. There is no longer any question that egocentric politician Nathan Petrelli is now more concerned with helping little bro' Pete than he is on his congressional run. He has certainly given up pretending that things like genetic mutations and human nuclear explosions are inconvenient distractions that can be argued away. That's a relief. Skeptical characters in the face of overwhelming evidence that weird crap is happening start to get tedious after a while, and I'm happy Nathan hasn't turned stuck it out as one of these. Psychic cop Matt Parkman and his wife's marriage troubles ease up a bit, now that he's been honest with her about his powers. Janice seems to take her husband's revelation pretty well, at least at first. She doesn't act all that disturbed about sharing a home with someone who can read her every thought. She makes a good point, though, when Matt claims that he "can't control" his power. She asks him if he has tried that. It doesn't seem as if it has occurred to him. Trying to consciously control the special ability has mostly been Hiro's territory up to this point. Now his powers seem totally gone, and he is convinced that only finding the sword will bringthem back. No progress on the sword this week. Unfortunately, the suspense of who is the powerful figure behind Hiro and Ando's kidnapping was pretty much blown in advance of the episode. Numerous NBC press releases gave away that Hiro's father would be a powerful industrialist who doesn't approve of his son's adventuring, played by George Takei. Some viewers out there that aren't looking to give Takei much of a chance, based on web chatter I've seen. I like Takei. He barely makes an appearance tonight, but the single shot of his stony visage as he stares down Hiro in fatherly disappointment is enough to make me willingly decide to forget Sulu for the purposes of enjoying 'Heroes'. Takei is having a resurgence right now, and that is only part of a long and distinguished career. Meet him halfway. If the audience gives him the chance they would give any other well-known face in a new role I expect they will see he can do the character and the show justice. Of course, Hiro's not the only character with father trouble. Micah and D.L, are not getting on. D.L. finally starts doing something right, and phases into Niki's padded cell for some badly needed parenting advice, and (I think) one of the first moments of real tenderness shown between the troubled couple. Just in time too, as Micah's started using his own powers for some easy short cuts. How cool was the moment though, when Micah says to his dad, "hey, you know how you and mom have secrets? Well ..." Noah Gray-Cabey is surely one of the best kid actors on television right now. By the way, not too sure about how Jessica's plan to get moved from prison to psych ward has worked out, especially now that it turns out whatever drugs they are pumping Niki/Jessica full of are inhibiting the Jessica side. Or is Jess just biding her time, knowing that a shrink would inevitably want her to show herself in treatment. I still think D.L. should just break her (them?) out, and the family should escape to New York. This trio (quartet if you count Niki and Jessica separately) still have the least to do with the ├╝berstory. Maybe Niki/Jessica will be another example of someone whose own powers ultimately destroy her. Then there is Claire who also always has dad trouble. H.R.G. is certainly on to Claire and the Haitian's subterfuge. Guess the Haitian should have told Claire to take the chimes out of the window when she was done signaling. However, I think the Cheerleader managed to keep the deception up aslong as could be expected (Manatees!) considering that her father is master of a super-secret government agency and all. The whole controlling-Claire-thing has taken its toll on H.R.G. as well. I don't believe he would have accepted the bogus phone report claiming Sylar died without immediately going to check it out himself if he hadn't been distracted with his suspicions about Claire. Later, Claire's surprise phone contact at the end, just continues to show how much superpowers are a family affair on this show. Manatee Cover StoryI take back what I said earlier about Hiro being the most preoccupied with trying to control his powers, because, of course, that's been a preoccupation of Peter's since the beginning too. Now he has someone willing to teach him something, which is a benefit most of the heroes have really had to struggle along without for most of the series. "Claude Rains", who calls himself that after the actor who played the Invisible Man in the 1933 movie, is a great addition to the story. He is someone who seems farther along in his understanding of his ability and his knowledge of other "specials," yet who is still an outsider. He's neither co-opted by H.R.G.'s organization, nor is he boring and ponderous like Mohinder Suresh. He's cool. Doesn't like people, but decides that maybe they are not so bad that he'll let millions of them get blown up if he can help stop it. Another great take on a reluctant hero. Keep 'em coming, Kring.

DOCTOR WHO

Before I begin, let me just say that I'm writing about this item with a huge lump of salt next to me. Given the source and the nature of the story, it's the only way for me to take it. But as a conversation-starter, it's priceless: The producers of 'Doctor Who' want to move the show to Hollywood for one episode, just to have Britney Spears play a guest role in it. The role will be a "sex-mad" alien clone; I think a "baby-mad" trailer drone would be a better fit, but that's just me. Anyway, executive producer Russell T. Davies is a huge fan of the pop tart and would love to somehow include her in the show. "I'm not sure she'll come to Cardiff where the show is shot so I'm nagging the BBC to fund a Hollywood special," Davies said. It seems more like a case of wishful thinking out loud to me, but sometimes even wishful thinking comes true. Otherwise, we would have never seen George Clooney play a gay dog or Alec Baldwin play a network executive. An appearance on a classy production like 'Doctor Who' might go a long way to help rehab her currently awful image. Well, that and some panties.

THERE IS A GOD

19-year-old Hilary Duff reportedly got drunk at club Hyde with her sister last Thursday and was seen teetering into the women's restroom with one of her girlfriends and a flamboyant male friend. "It was kind of inappropriate," the onlooker sneers. "She was pretty drunk and staggering around the bathroom, bumping into people and shrieking that her gay male friend had a vagina so it was okay for him to be there." The sisters continued to party Paris Hilton-style throughout the night at a VIP table, where our source says they were "all over" their two man-dates. Haylie 21, whispered in the ear of her 30-ish-year-old date while kissing his neck. Hilary perched on her date's lap, laughing and flirting with her own older man. Says the source: "When I've seen Hilary out in the past, she has been relatively composed, but tonight she was acting pretty wild." I'm confused here. I always thought Hilary Duff was the good one. While Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were snorting cocaine off bathroom floors Hilary Duff was the one driving her boyfriend away by refusing to have sex with him. And now this? Next you're gonna start telling me she's not a real live horse-woman. It's like my whole world is turning upside down!

P.P.T.V.

Foghat - Angel of Mercy/ Fool For the City 1999 This was taken from dad's last tour.

DAD

And now for a new feature of the Phile, simply called Dad. Next week on Feb. 7th, it'll be the 7th anniversary of my father passing away. So, from now on, pretty much every entry of the Phile will have a picture of my dad.

 

MOVIE BUZZ

Transformers: Here's your first look at Optimus Prime's head, which will probably be taken down quickly, so hurry over there. One of these days, we'll get some official images that won't "transform" into cease-and-desist letters.

Stardust:The first promo images from the epic fantasy film have been released. One has Michelle Pfeiffer and a couple of farm animals. Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter. What do you think this is? Sundance?

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Anyone else besides me excited that they're doing a live-action Chipmunk movie with a CGI Alvin, Simon and Theodore? And am I the only one to admit I LOVEd the old Saturday Morning Cartoon?

The Dark Knight: They're replacing Katie Holmes in the sequel. Plus, the Batmobile will be propelled entirely by the wind of fanboys' collective sigh of relief.

Captivity: Yeah, this is pretty much how I always fantasized how my own first date with Elisha Cuthbert would go.

The Hobbit: Sam Raimi is going around claiming he'll replace Peter Jackson on the Lord of the Rings prequels. Don't know who to root for here. Brain … about to … explode …

Rush Hour 3: There's a teaser trailer up. At least now we know what Chris Tucker has been doing for the past six years — hanging out at karaoke bars.

Well, that's about it for another entry. Please check out the Phile's revamped webshots page and the Phile's Myspace page. I will leave you with a random pic. Oh, one more thing: I still want to hit 2000 views by this Summer, so spread the word, not the turd.

 

 

 

 


 




 



 

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