Santa Rubbed Your Toothbrush On His Balls

PHIRST OF

Hello, happy holidays, welcome to the most updated blog on the web, the Peverett Phile, I am your host Jason For The Bells. So, didya get all your Christmas done? If not, why? I love those Rod Blagojevich tapes — “Give me the money! Give me the money!” I’d like him to be my agent. The Oscars have a new host: Hugh Jackman. They say they picked him because he’s sexy, he’s macho, and he looks great in a tuxedo. But they said that about Ellen DeGeneres. How fucking cool is it that the Oscars will be hosted by Wolverine.  When Vice President-elect Joe Biden takes office next month, he’s going to have a German shepherd puppy. That’s good to know because his dog will stand by in case Barack Obama’s dog becomes incapacitated. The puppy is only 1 month old, but Biden has already taught him a trick: how to put his foot in his mouth. Until the puppy is old enough to stay home alone, he will serve as the vice president’s toupee. Obama’s girls are getting a puppy, Joe Biden is getting a puppy . . . I guess Hillary Clinton will do all the spaying and neutering. Bush has been accused of dodging issues in the past, but who knew he could actually dodge shoes? He’s 62 years old, but he still has the reflexes of a cat. Mind you, I think his head has been on a swivel ever since Cheney shot his lawyer. The irony of this shoe-throwing incident is, it’s as close as we’ll ever get to finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Hey, maybe the person who threw the show thought Bush had no sole. Get it, sole. A new study says that old people store bad memories differently than everyone else. In a related story, John McCain just announced he’s running for president. Another report says that the economic downturn is even affecting prostitution. If things get any worse, men may be forced to have sex with their wives.  That prostitution joke actually was from the Great Depression in the 1930s. That was the joke that got America back on its feet. Over 300,000 people lost power in the Northeast after ice storms knocked the power out. Hard times here in Florida too — it almost dipped under 60 degrees today. The guy next door? He went out to walk his dog and had to come back for a windbreaker. Good news from India — a New Delhi woman gave birth to a baby girl. She was 70 years old. Not the baby, the woman. This is the oldest woman to have a child since Demi Moore had Ashton. Oprah’s production company, Harpo, has signed a deal to create original programs for HBO. They already have their first project underway: The “Opranos.” There was snow in Malibu today! Global warming? Kiss my arse Al Gore! It’s snowed in Las Vegas, too! It’s so cold in Las Vegas, you have to tip the strippers 50 bucks just to get them to take their coats off. Good news for the Disney Channel. They’re going to Russia. They’re going to be broadcasting from Russia. Which is great news for Sarah Palin — she’ll be able to see it from her house. Much of the country is covered in snow. Chicago got a foot of snow. The blizzard was so bad, Gov. Blagojevich declared a state of emergency and sent all corruption investigators home. This just in, Gary Busey woke up, saw white powder all over the lawn, and thought it was Christmas.

THE PEVERETT PHILE TOP TEN LIST

From the home office here in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Signs Your Boss Is Spending Less On The Company Christmas Party 

10. Invitation lists time of party as "7pm - 7:15pm".
9. Just eggs...no nog.
8. This year's open bar is the water cooler.
7. For snacks, he just breaks open the vending machines.
6. Instead of a Christmas ham, it's Christmas bologna.
5. The mistletoe was replaced with old tea bags.
4. Decorations left over from Halloween; food left over from Thanksgiving.
3. For party music everyone takes turns listening to his iPod.
2. Entire party has been outsourced to India.
And the number one sign your boss is spending less on the company Christmas party...
1. He spent the money on that Senate seat in Illinois.

DECEMBER 19th IN HISTORY

1941

Twelve days after Pearl Harbor, Franklin D. Roosevelt under authority of Congress, created the Office of Censorship. The bureau had discretion over communications with foreign countries. Participation by domestic publishers was "voluntary".
1971
A Clockwork Orange opens, originally given an X rating. Censors objected more to the sex scenes than the orgies of ultraviolence, which is rather odd. Director Stanley Kubrik later earns an R by removing some of the smuttier footage.
1991
Yankee's pitcher Steve Howe arrested for criminal posession of cocaine. It's merely one of NINE TIMES this has happened (and seven suspensions, plus one drunk driving arrest.)
1997
Disgruntled postal worker Anthony Deculit enters a Milwaukee post office at 12:45 A.M., shoots his supervisor in the right eye, and kills a fellow coworker. The supervisor had written Deculit up for sleeping on the job. After the shootings he rendered himself dead with the 9mm solution, a shot through the mouth.
1997
The pilot of a SilkAir plane deliberately flies into a mangrove swamp in Indonesia, committing suicide and killing all 104 people aboard. The pilot, Captain Tsu Way Ming, was in debt and had personal problems, had taken a $3M insurance policy prior to the crash. To cover his tracks, he disconnected the flight recorder prior to downing the aircraft.

SOMEONE PHAMOUS HAS DIED

Van Johnson: He's on the subway in the sky.

Sammy Baugh: Passed.

W. Mark Felt: Deeper than ever.

FLORIDA: AMERICA'S WANG

Central Florida homeowners association covenant prohibits owners from leasing their homes to couples who aren't married, raising the ire of gay rights advocates and homeowners who can't locate tenants, reports Local 6 News in Orlando. The development is near the University of Central Florida. The rules were created, in part, to prevent the homes from becoming similar to nearby college apartments. But abandoned homes are forcing current residents to maintain the properties. A man who owns a home in the development had to move to Texas for employment reasons is trying renting the house for $1,600 a month, including HOA fees.

"It's ridiculous,' says Eric Marberg. "I might have to quit my job here and move down to Florida and try to get something going." "Whether intended or not, this HOA law discriminates against many types of people," said Tom Dyer, publisher of The Watermark, an Orlando gay and lesbian magazine. "And what's most offensive is they're saying the only kinds of people who can form a cohesive responsible household unit are married heterosexuals. And that discriminates against lots and lots of people."

PHACTS OF LIFE

Scientists believe herring communicate with one another by passing gas.

Dimples are the result of a genetic flaw.

Unicorns are mentioned nine times in the King James version of the Bible.

Only 2% of women around the world describe themselves as beautiful.

According to medical researchers, the part of the brain that can detect sarcasm is the right parahippocampal gyrus.

The random symbols (#*!&@) used to indicate obscenities in comic strips are called "grawlix."

Teddy Roosevelt's dog, Pete, ripped a French ambassador's pants off at the White House.

The first Web site ever built was located at http://info.cern.ch.

Forty-one percent of women apply body or hand moisturizer a minimum three times a day.

A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.

A person will burn 7% more calories if they walk on hard dirt, as opposed to pavement.

Americans spend more than $13 billion per year on intimate apparel.

Ulysses S. Grant died of throat cancer. He smoked about 20 cigars per day for most of his life.

In Hebrew, "golem" means "undeveloped lump."

James Ritty, an American restaurant owner, invented the first practical cash register in 1879. A bell rang each time the cash drawer was opened to help reduce theft.

Faunoiphilia is an abnormal desire to watch animals copulate.

About 9% of all merchandise sold by retailers in America is returned. Clothing and electronics account for most of those returns.

Purdue scientists discovered that constant worrying shortens your life span by 16 years.

There are 1,600 calories in a pint of hippopotamus milk.

There are 92 known cases of nuclear bombs lost at sea.

SHARPENING AXES

ORIGINS OF SOME CHRISTMAS STUFF

Christmas was not, as it turns out, miraculously handed down as a fully formed holiday, complete with wrapped gifts and blinking lights. Rather, it is a rich tapestry woven from countless inexplicable and pointless customs.

Why December 25th?
The Bible doesn't give a lot of clues as to what time of the year the birth of Jesus happened. So, why December 25th? No one knows for sure. One likely explanation is that early church leaders needed a holiday to distract Christians from the many pagan revelries occurring in late December. One of the revelries was The Saturnalia, a week-long festival celebrating the Romans' favorite agricultural god, Saturn. From December 17 until December 23, tomfoolery and pagan hijinks ensued, and by hijinks we mean gluttonous feasting, drunkenness, gambling and public nudity. The Romans would also switch roles between masters and slaves for the occasion, so not only did the slaves get to pathetically lower their own sense of self-worth by participating in the charade of freedom, they also got to wear a Pileus (roughly translated, "Freedom Hat"). One other pagan celebration that might have given Christmas its date was Natalis Solis Invincti, which roughly translates to "Birthday of the Invincible Sun God," giving it officially the most awesome holiday name ever. By the 12th century, the Christian Church had incorporated a few of the less-sinful pagan traditions into the 12 days of Christmas. We only wish the public nudity could have been left in ... maybe on the 10th or 11th day. Along with the gambling. And the drinking. Then again, it appears everyday is Saturnalia in Vegas so maybe we'll just go there instead. 

Santa.

Our favorite morbidly obese, undiagnosed diabetic trespasser is actually a bastardization of the Dutch Sinterklaas, which was actually a bastardization of Saint Nikolas, the holier-than-thou Turkish bishop for whom the icon was named. The actual saint was not, in fact, famous for making dispirited public appearances at shopping malls. Rather, he was known for throwing purses of gold into a man's home in the cover of night so that the man wouldn't have to sell his daughters into prostitution. So, back then Christmas wasn't "get a new Xbox day." It was, "you don't have to become a filthy whore day." While it could be argued that this basically makes Nicholas the anti-pimp, we prefer to think of him as the Bible's answer to Travis Bickle. Later, Martin Luther invented his own Christmas symbol, Kristkindl, as part of his rejection of all things Catholic. What he came up with is by far the gayest of all Christmas symbols, as Kristkindl is portrayed as a "blond, radiant veiled child figure with golden wings, wearing a flowing white robe and a sparkling jeweled crown, and carrying a small Christmas tree or wand." This is why you sometimes hear Santa referred to as "Kris Kringle." Not surprisingly, most of the world has rejected his weird-ass version and over the years we've cobbled together our own Santa Claus: part Saint Nikolas, part Sinterklaas and part Norse god Odin. By the 19th century American writers were describing Santa as wearing a red sash with a skin-tight red suit with white spotted fur at the fringes. He was basically all those other figures with a little Freddie Mercury thrown in. Writers at the time were still calling Santa an "elf," including Clement Clark Moore in his famous poem The Night Before Christmas. Perhaps the image of a dwarf-sized intruder seemed less threatening than a Chris Farley-sized version, but we're pretty sure we'd be more likely to piss our pants if an overly jolly costumed dwarf magically appeared and started hopping around our living room floor. The little person might just end up with a bullet in the head. Not that there's anything wrong with frolicking little people with a propensity for wearing elf garb, of course. Except that there totally is.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. 

Some of you are disappointed that I explained Santa without mentioning that the modern image of him was invented for a Coca-Cola ad, as the Internet has probably told you. That's because it isn't true. Come on, guys. Not everything in the Western World is based on some crass marketing campaign. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, however, is. This signature character in Christmas folklore, with his own song and movies and a mountain of yearly merchandise, was slapped together by the Montgomery Ward marketing team for a coloring book they were giving out. Prior to inventing Rudolph, they used to just buy the books and hand them out each Christmas, but in 1939 they figured it'd be cheaper to have one of their guys draw one up in his spare time. It's not like toddlers are great at detecting quality in these things. So copywriter Robert L. May wrote it up, and created what turned out to be a marketing bonanza ... of which he didn't get paid a penny. A few years later the company actually let May have the rights to Rudolph, which was either an act of amazing corporate generosity or else they just assumed the Rudolph fad was over. After that, May's brother-in-law wrote up the song that you've no doubt heard every Christmas since you were born. It became a huge hit and the Rudolph marketing empire was born, along with a permanent addition to the Santa legend.
That's right; Europe brought their real-life saints, Norse gods and rich cultural traditions to the table, and America slapped on a promotion from a department store. Who knows, maybe 300 years from now Santa's sleigh will be towed by Energizer Bunnies, long after society has forgotten what an "Energizer" is. And, maybe Santa will sport a cheap cardboard crown and a creepy frozen grin.

HEROES

Man, they did it again. Set up a potentially solid climactic final chapter to a "Volume" and then just kind of fizzled out. Sylar's antics bordered a bit on the ridiculous, and I don't at all buy Nathan's character path over the past three seasons as plausible. I was pleased with the continuation and ultimate resolution of Hiro's story as it involved also Ando, Matt and Daphne. As it turns out, while these are by no means the central figures in the plots for this Volume, their story was the best. Maybe it's because there was a minimum of whining (Peter) or pouting (Claire), and quite frankly there's only so much of that crap you can take. With the end of "Volume Three" tonight, as we've done in the past, we got a sneak peek at "Volume Four: Fugitives." And as has been the case in the past, the few minutes we got on a preview of the next volume was much more compelling than the finale of this current volume. Just like real comic books, you usually get a great build up in these big stories, ultimately leading to disappointment. I guess Nathan's back to being a dick, which I don't like. I thought his character progression made sense up to the point where he decided he agreed with his father about changing the world and was suddenly willing to let his brother die. Also, why the hell would Peter have to inject himself with the formula anyway so that he could fly and save Nathan. Flying is Nathan's thing. He could've saved himself. That one didn't make much sense. Are we supposed to believe that Meredith died in that fire? If she's not capable of dying from her own combustion, then the only danger to her would be the collapsing building. So why was it such a bad idea to try and get her out of the building? She should have left when Claire first flew through the window. Speaking of which, one of the good moments of the episode was when Claire jammed that piece of glass into the back of Sylar's head to shut off his brain. Odds on whether or not it'll come out in the first or second episode of the new volume. But the whole Sylar storyline iself was rather stupid. Why, out of nowhere, would he decide to play these weird psychological games? It really didn't seem his style and didn't fit well with the rest of the season so far. Actually, I'll say the whole episode didn't fit well. We never even got to see all the heroes come together. In fact, Peter destroyed the existing formula while Hiro destroyed the written formula but neither know the other did anything. There was a kind of a weird disconnect between the cast. I like the power they've given Ando, even though I'm not sure I want him to have a power. But what it does now is make me wonder how his power would impact the other people with abilities. Would it make Meredith blow up and be trapped underneath a building? So I'm still not clear what the Catalyst was. How did Hiro's mother get it, why is it able to be passed on like it is, what is it, what does it do, and is it destroyed now?

Loved seeing Usutu, the African painter in the loft, but what is up with that? Was he really there or was he Memorex? It was cool seeing Chad Faust ("The 4400") in another role, even if his flaring nostrils still distract me. Too bad he didn't last that long; I thought the idea of this new character had potential.

GEEK TALK

First, dear readers, let me get a little rant off my chest -- why can't the mainstream media run the quotes from tireless movie sites like Collider instead of preposterous casting rumors? Sure, it's fun and harmless, but they embed themselves into the public consciousness to the point that you'll be hearing "Eddie Murphy is going to be the Riddler!" at your watercooler for months. But this is real Batman news! Now, let's read that news, directly from Warner Bros' president Alan Horn, who emphasized again that Batman is taking a break. "We've been talking to Chris Nolan and what we have to do is get him in the right place and have him tell us what he thinks the notion might be for a great story, but Chris did a great job and we'd love to have him come back and do another one ... The story is everything and we are very respectful of Chris. We have a wonderful relationship with him and we are going to be respectful of his timing and we want to get it right. Also, I think the fans expect that – they want us to make a terrific movie – we have to give them another great movie." So, with Batman on hiatus, what DC hero might be next? Why, he's up there in the right-hand corner. "[Green Lantern is] on the runway. Hasn't taken off yet, but we're close. I think Green Lantern is probably the best guess but I can't promise it at this moment." Superman and Justice League, however, are a lot further away. Warners is "anxious" to bring Supes back, but there's no timeline for his return except "probably in the next couple of years." And despite what George Miller says about Justice League's status, the answer on that is: "Not yet."  There's the Warners-DC update. I'm anxiously awaiting Green Lantern news -- I can't wait to talk about a new DC hero, and let sleeping Nolans lie.

WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?

Don't panic! You can start to sweat a little if you want to, I'm sure everyone associated with Watchmen might be. According to Variety, the Watchmen trial has been moved back two weeks to January 20th. The judge in charge of the case set the new date on Monday in order to settle a criminal matter on January 6th. He has also refused to make a pre-trial summary judgment, as requested by both sides, insisting that the original contracts between Fox and producer Larry Gordon are so open to interpretation that a trial is required. They just keep upping the drama level of this whole mess. Why is the judge insisting on taking it to trial, ignoring the wishes of both sides to do a summary judgment? Is that a good thing? Are summary judgments too hasty or something? Is he stretching this out because he can? Can they still settle out of court? While I still don't believe the film will be delayed, it is worrying to see its legal troubles inching closer and closer to its March 6th date. Neither side seems willing to blink, although Warner Bros might if it threatens all the money they've put into marketing. But think about it this way, readers -- if they do delay it, anything Watchmen that you own that's marked 03/06/09 immediately becomes more valuable!

PHINALLY

There, kids, another entry of the Phile, the last before Christmas, so have a good one. Did you read the interview with Jennifer McKee I posted? Do you like the Phile interviews? I hope you do, 'cause in the last week I did about 50. Yes, phans, 50. The interviews were supposed to be posted on Saturday's but as I did so many I came up with plan B. Starting tomorrow I am going to post interviews pretty much once a day until I catch up, which I hope won't happen. So, tomorrow's interview is with a singer named Amanda Marsh, then on Sunday I'll post an interview with Baub Eis from the band The Geoff Stein Project. Then on Monday it'll be the band Pro Audio. After that I will let you know what's next. The Phile is getting better and better, phans, so more then ever, spread the word, not he turd. Merry Christmas!

The Peverett Phile Interviews: Jennifer McKee

Hello, welcome back to the Phile, for the second interview. I have done so many recently that pretty much every Saturday through January and the rest of December they'll be an interview. Anyway, this week's interview is with singer/songwriter Jennifer McKee. So, ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to Jennifer.

Me: Jennifer, first of, I am sorry to hear about your mom passing away when you were 13. My parents both passed away from cancer in 2000 so I know in a way how you must of felt. Did your song writing change after that happened? Were you writing before that?

Jennifer: So sorry to hear about your parents as well....I can't imagine both in the same year...it's heartbreaking. I feel like losing a parent puts you in a club with others that have experienced the same thing.....a club that you never want to be a part of but once you're in, only those in it can truly know what it's like. Losing my Mom was the hardest thing I have ever been through. It's crazy how it changes your perspective on life....even for a 13 year old. I actually didn't write much before that. I only started writing a couple of years ago. I took classes in college on writing and everything and the writing thing never clicked. And then a couple of years ago, out of no where, I began to write...ideas would come in like a flood. I haven't stopped since. Losing my Mom definately impacts my writing. There are some songs on the upcoming album that talk about losing someone you love and the pain that you experience from that. Learning how to keep on living in spite of the pain....it's hard but that has definately played a part in my writing.

Me: You're from Enterprise, a small town in Alabama but now live in Washington State. That's a whole different feel. What made you move out West?

Jennifer: Enterprise, AL and Washington state are like 2 different worlds! It's crazy! I love both places. I love that my early growing up years were in the south. Eventhough it's been many years since I've lived down south, deep down, I'm a southern girl. My family moved because of my Dad's job. He's a preacher....yep that means I'm a preachers kid! He took a job as the pastor at a church in Washington. I left Washington state and went to college in Missouri and even though Missouri isn't south, it felt like it compared to Washington. But, after getting married and having a baby, I wanted to be near my Dad, sister, and step-family. So, we moved back to WA. It's a great place to live if you can handle the rain!

Me: You released a gospel album when you were a child. Your parents must of been proud of you. Do you ever listen to that album you made then?

Jennifer: It's been a while since I've listened to that! I should get it out for old times sake...lol. It was a good experience for me. My Dad wrote all the songs on it. Thinking back to that time brings back good memories. My Mom always played piano for me wherever and whenever I would sing. I have pictures of me singing at different events with me on stage in big pageant, frilly dresses, with my Mom playing piano....good times.

Me: You and your husband Ryan have started something cool... Keyed Up Records. Explain to the readers of the Phile what Keyed Up Records is and what you are planning to do with it.

Jennifer: Keyed Up Records is a record label and production company. Our goal has been to create a company that focuses on protecting the rights of the artist AND consumer. We really want to make it so that our artists have a greater share in the profits of their own careers and that fans of their music feel like they are partners in the artists career. We plan on continuing to grow the company and add more artists to the roster. We also started Keyed Up Publishing...a music publishing company.

Me: How long have you been married, and do you have a family of your own?

Jennifer: I have been married 10 years! I sound old don't I? lol. I got married at 19 so I'll let you do the math...lol. My husband is amazing. I didn't plan on getting married so young, but when I met him, I knew right away he was the one. He was even my first boyfriend. I have 3 little boys who are amazing...they do wear me out! But I love it. My seven year old is an amazing electric guitar player and an awesome songwriter....I think he's even one of the youngest members of ASCAP. My 4 year old plays the drums like you wouldn't believe...he's prodigy good. And my 3 year old loves to sing and play anything. People ask if I'm trying to have my own basketball team, I tell them no, I'm working on a band.

Me: Right now you are working on finishing your debut album on your label... is it going to be a straight up country album or have a pop influence i.e. Shania Twain and Faith Hill?

Jennifer: The album will have a pop influence, gospel influence, and rock influence. Stylistically it has a sound/style all of it's own. I can't wait for it to be released!

Me: What's the title and when is it due to come out?

Jennifer: We don't have a title yet...and we're hoping to have it out Spring 2009.

Me: Are you going on tour to promote the album? If so, planning any stops in Florida?

Jennifer: That's the plan.....I don't have any venues nailed down yet...I let the promotions people work on that...they will just tell me when and where to show up...lol. I am doing my best to plan some stops in Florida...trying to squeeze in a vacation. I need some sun! Florida is my favorite vacation spot.

Me: Any plans on putting your album on iTunes?

Jennifer: Yes!

Me: I am glad you and your sister are close and started your own venture with her selling organic lotions. As a guy I have no idea what that is, even though my wife could fill me in. What are the organic lotions for, what made you get into that business and if I wanted to buy some for my wife where would I order them from?

Jennifer: Well....I could talk a long time on this subject alone! :) Our lotions have no harmful chemicals, dyes, or preservatives. Here's how it started: I was having some photos taken of me for my music stuff and was going to be on tv....when I saw myself, I looked pasty white...sickly. So, I thought I would try to get an airbrush tan...since all I do in the sun is burn and freckle...too much info huh?..lol. So, I did and I got addicted. I told my sister she should start a business doing it so that I could be tan for free! So, in talking her into this, she talked me into partnering with her. When we started investigating the ingredients we were shocked at what kinds of things are in cosmetics, lotions, etc. So, we decided that we had to create our own. You could literally eat our stuff, it's so healthy...although it would probably taste gross. In some ways ignorance is bliss...now that I know what I know I can't just go into a store and buy what's on the shelf. Since the business is fairly new, we are currently working on a website. For now, people will have to check out our Myspace (http://www. myspace. com/keyeduptanning). That is mainly our airbrush tanning site but there is info there on our organic products too and contact info on how to purchase. We have independent consultants that sell these products and are trained to give airbrush tans as well. It's been a fun business....like a hobby.

Me: I read you don't like chocolate. Are you kidding?

Jennifer: I know! I wish I did. People act like it tastes heavenly...it makes me jealous. I wish I could enjoy it! I just can't stand the taste of chocolate....most sweets for that matter. I do love salty, greasy food though. Chips and dip is one of my favorites.

Me: Okay, if you could do a duet with anybody, who would that be? And why?

Jennifer: Oh my word! This is the toughest question by far. There are sooo many..how do I narrow it down? Well...if I could choose living or dead...Ray Charles would be on the list for sure. He was amazing. I respect him as a musician....so much talent in one man! Michael Buble would be fun to sing with because he's a great live performer. Keith Urban would be great...he is a great singer, songwriter, guitarist, etc. Then there are people like Reba and Dolly Parton that I just thing would be fun to sing with. Sorry, I know that's more than one.

Me: Your first single is a beautiful song called "Happily Ever After". What is the story behind that song?

Jennifer: Well, I as a little girl, I always loved the Cinderella story and dreamt of my fairytale ending. I know little girls and grown up girls of every age still have the dream of, and still believe in "happily ever after," deep down inside. So, in writing the song, I wanted to capture that feeling. I was feeling inspired one night and sat down to write and the song just flowed out...it was like the song was already written and I was just writing it down as it played in my head. So many girls settle because they get impatient and don't hold on for their "happily ever after" to play itself out. Maybe it's because they don't believe they deserve to have a happily ever after or they have been told it doesn't exist, I'm not sure. Eventhough it takes patience sometimes to wait for happily ever after, it's so worth it. I remember being in my dorm room at college wondering if my prince charming existed. I had a huge list of qualifications he must meet and my roommates were giving me a hard time about it, saying they weren't even sure God himself would meet my criteria....lol. But, just like the song says, I wasn't gonna settle for anything less. When I finally met "him" my happily ever after began.....now I'm living it.
So, the girl in the song is me... it's every woman and I'm even convinced that deep down guys have the dream of happily ever after too. It's one of my favorite songs.

Me: You're so busy with the businesses, recording your album, promoting your single, do you have any free time? If so, what do you do on your free time?

Jennifer: Free time...what's that?? Actually I love staying busy. I don't get a lot of free time because I also homeschool my kids. It's important to me that my family be a part of this whole process and homeschooling makes that possible. So, if Mom has to travel somewhere...the husband and kids come too. One of my son's really lucked out...I had to be in Los Angeles for something and it happened to fall on his b-day..so we spent his b-day at Disneyland....good memories. I do love to crash in front of a good movie after the kids are in bed. I love to shop (I'm totally a bargain hunter). I love being around people I love. It's more about the "who" than the "what." I love to have friends and family over and stay up late playing games...and then it turns into a slumber party because everyone is too tired to get up and drive home.....that's a blast. I love to play my guitar and write songs...I do that when I have a chance.

Me: Here's a question I ask all my interviewees... What is your favorite Foghat song? 

Jennifer: I bet everyone says "Slow Ride" huh? With it being on Guitar Hero, it's getting even more popular. I do like "Slow Ride" but I also like "Stone Blue"..I like the groove. I also like "I'm a Rock n' Roller"...you can't sit still when you hear that...it makes you wanna get up and dance. "Chattaeu Laffitte Boogie" is good...I like the oldies influence. There are many good ones I could list. Sorry..I couldn't keep it to one...I'm not good at picking one of anything. I do not like making decisions and thus, eliminating my options....those who know me would be laughing at me right now because they know this to be so true. So, the question is, what's your favorite Foghat song? I'm curious since your Dad was in the band which one is yours!

Me: "Delayed Reaction." When you got this interview request what did you think? Who is this loser and his blog?

Jennifer: Actually, I did think "who is this guy?" So, I forwarded it to my husband to check out...he gave the ok. :) He has a better sense on business things than I do and I trust his judgment.

Me: Jennifer, good luck with your new album and lotion business and all your other ventures. Is there anything you can say to help people that want to start in the music business?

Jennifer: Don't let fear hold you back. That's no way to live..I did it for too long. Live life with no regrets....regret is one of the things I hate the most. So, just go for it. If you are hungry enough for it and don't quit when everyone else does, you'll get to where you need to be and meet the people you need to meet. And when you get there, remember to give me a call...lol.

Me: Finally, Jennifer, is there any websites I can plug? If people want to check out your album when it comes out where could they? Also, where could they buy your lotions?

Jennifer: Album updates will be available on my Myspace page, my website, and Keyed Up Records Myspace.

www. myspace. com/jennifermckeemusic
www. jennifermckeeofficial. com
www. myspace. com/keyeduprecords
www. myspace. com/keyeduptanning (for lotions and such)


Jennifer, once again thanks for taking part and taking time to answer these questions. Have a wonderful Holiday. 

Jennifer McKee, phans. Check out her websites, and listen to her music. The Phile will be back on Phriday with the normal posting, then on Saturday the interview will be with another singer/songwriter... Amanda Marsh. Thanks again, and remember, spread the word, not the turd.

It's Not The Holiday Season It's The Christmas Season

PHIRST OF 

Are you ready? Are you ready for the Peverett Phile? I am your host, Jason of the Bells. OJ Simpson was found guilty of burglary and other charges in Nevada. Keeping track — double murder no prison time, stealing back your own football cards, 15 years. The big lesson here — if you’re going to commit a crime, make sure you kill somebody. Remember all the money the Republican National Committee supposedly spent on Sarah Palin for her clothes . . . $150,000? The RNC tacked on another $30,000 they say was spent on Victoria Secret and Toys "R" Us. Palin says she would have gladly bought everything herself, but in Alaska, her salary is paid entirely in fish. Wait a freakin' minute. Sarah bought stuff from Victoria Secret? Oh, man. Let me pause while I fantasize................................ It’s a great day for Jay Leno. He is not leaving NBC. He is going to do his current show in an earlier time slot, 10 p.m. Jay’s getting a little older now, so 10 p.m. is kind of “late night” for Jay. The governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, was arrested in Chicago for trying to sell Barack Obama’s vacant Senate seat. Which I guess is illegal. He’s supposed to appoint somebody. But he’s in Chicago — he has Barack Obama’s seat for sale — shouldn’t he go directly to Oprah? Who would pay more for the seat than her? Does anybody want to buy my seat and sit and write the Peverett Phile every Friday? President Bush has just over a month left in office, and as is customary, he sat for an official portrait. This weekend in Philadelphia, they unveiled the portrait of our 43rd president...

Barack Obama has said he will use his full name when he is sworn in: Barack Hussein Obama. In a show of support, Joe Biden said he would use his full name: Joseph Adolf Fidel Puppy Killer Biden. Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice had dinner this week. They have a lot in common: They’re both women; they’ve both been appointed secretary of state; neither one of them is having sex with Bill Clinton . . . Joe the plumber in the news. He told Glenn Beck that he felt “dirty” after discussing the issues with John McCain while on McCain’s tour bus. I don’t know how to tell you this, Joe. You work in other people’s toilets. He says he almost walked off the bus. He didn’t because he knew he would have to return to life as a simple tax-evading fame whore. California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said a few days ago that we are headed for financial Armageddon. He also said California’s credit rating could “die hard,” possibly “with a vengeance.” He has a bold plan: He wants to use two space shuttles to drop nuclear bombs on the budget. Barack Obama had another press conference. Among other things, he talked about the economy, which I guess is in bad shape. I wasn’t aware of this. He says job prospects are the worst they’ve been in 26 years. This Obama is turning out to be a real bummer with these speeches. So, last Saturday I posted the first Peverett Phile interview with actress Jill Wagner. And you know what, I totally forgot to ask her about her latest movie Splinter. Well, the interviews will get better and better. That's all I've been doing on my week off from work, interviewing celebrities (and some soon to be celebrities). Tomorrow's interview is with a singer named Jennifer McKee. 

THE PEVERETT PHILE TOP TEN LIST

From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Least Popular Holiday TV Specials 

10. "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"
9. "Hanukkah Montana"
8. "A Very Cheney Christmas"
7. "The Anatomically Correct Gingerbread Man"
6. "Martha Stewart's Annual Reindeer Casserole"
5. "It's A Charlie Brown Bailout"
4. "Joe, The Little Plumber Boy"
3. "Charlie Sheen's Ho Ho Ho's" (Actually, I would watch that)
2. "George W. Bush's 'It's A Blunderful Life'"
And the number one least popular holiday TV special...
1. "How The Grinch Stole Your 401K"

SOMEONE PHAMOUS HAS DIED

Sunny von Bulow: Forecast for tomorrow: a little less Sunny than today.

Robert Prosky: He's REALLY blue now.

Betty Page: She was on my death pool list for for 2009 — a tease to the very end.

FLORIDA: AMERICA'S WANG

(CNN) -- Four men, now in their 60s, met over the Internet, shared stories about the darkest days of their pasts and spurred an investigation into 32 graves at a reform school. Authorities have agreed to investigate 32 graves on the grounds of a former Florida reform school. Roger Kiser, Michael McCarthy, Bryant Middleton and Dick Colon talked about whippings and beatings and other boys who disappeared. They discussed the 32 crosses marking the graves of persons unknown on the grounds of the former Florida Industrial School for Boys. They called their group the White House Boys, taking the name from the single story concrete building where, they say, boys were beaten and tortured decades ago. The White House Boys believe that delinquents and orphans sent to the concrete White House were killed and their remains buried to cover up the brutality. This week, the four called on Florida Gov. Charlie Crist to investigate. Crist agreed and asked the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to search for remains, identify them and determine whether any crimes were committed. The department agreed to look into the mystery of the 32 crosses on the grounds of what is now known as the Dozier School, in Marianna, just south of the Alabama state line. Two of the White House Boys, Middleton and Colon, spoke with CNN. The stories they told were chilling. Middleton said he was "an incorrigible youth of 14 or 15" when he was sent to the reform school for breaking and entering. During a 30-minute phone interview, he recounted story after horrific story about his time there. Middleton said he took six trips to the concrete White House, where he endured brutal beatings. He says boys were regularly struck with a metal-reinforced double strap with a long wooden handle. "You could hear it coming through the air, and when it hit your body, the pain was unbelievable," he recalled. "They just beat you to the point of unconsciousness, or you could no longer understand what was happening to you." He recalled another occasion in which he and another boy decided to get drunk. They mixed orange juice with rubbing alcohol. It make Middleton sick and his friend intoxicated. A guard confronted the other boy and began to treat him roughly, Middleton said. "He dragged him to the administration building, and I never saw him again. He never came back to work or to the cottage," Middleton said. "He literally disappeared off the face of the Earth." Colon is an electrical contractor in Baltimore, Maryland. But in the 1950s, he acknowledged, he was a wayward youth who gritted his teeth through 11 beatings inside the White House. Colon said he remembers entering the laundry one day, and his life has never been the same. Inside a large tumble dryer was a black teen. The White House boys, who are all white, said black kids at the school were beaten even more savagely than white kids. "I said to myself, 'What's going to happen to me if I take him out?' " Colon said.

He recalled being about 15 feet away from the boy in the dryer. He thought about helping him but was afraid. "I said to myself, 'I can't do it, 'cause I'm gonna be the next one in the God------ dryer if I take him out,' " he said. "I turned my back and walked out, and it torments me every day of my life." So far, all authorities have are allegations and the collective memories of the White House Boys. But they say it's worth looking into the case. "Questions remain unanswered as to the identity of the deceased and the origin of these graves," Crist wrote in his letter to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. "The main goal is to determine the location of the graves, who owned the property at the time, and determine if any crimes were committed," agency spokeswoman Kristin Perezluha said. Authorities are only now beginning their investigation, so no one can say for certain who, if anyone, is buried under the 32 white metal crosses. Middleton learned about the investigation from a CNN producer. "My God! That's remarkable. My God! That's all I ever wanted," he said. "That will begin a lot of the healing for those that survived that school. "Some of us will never get over the brutality, the sexual assaults and the fear. But this is a major step in the right direction," he added. Colon has established an educational trust fund at the same campus, the Dozier School for high academic achievers, today operated by the Florida Department of Juvenile Justice. At least one former student says the school was strict but fair. "They were justified in giving me these paddlings, because, hey, I was wrong," Phil Hail of Anniston, Alabama, told The Miami Herald. Hail told the Herald he remembers going to the white building once for getting low grades in 1957. "Was [the school] run with a very strict hand? Yes, it was ... Were the paddlings very severe? Yes, they were," he told the newspaper. There are lingering questions no one seems able to answer: Why was there no outcry from the parents of boys who disappeared? Why did no one look for them? Colon and Middleton say they're valid questions. They firmly believe that bodies will be found and that they will be the bodies of both black and white boys. "I believe, in my own heart, that there has been a coverup," Middleton said. Added Colon, "White, African-American, they're all there ... I believe they will find crushed skulls, and broken bones -- and hopefully, one day, the murderers."

DECEMBER 12TH IN HISTORY

1915

Francis Albert Sinatra's birthday. I've been asked not to bring up his mafia connections, so today we will not be resorting to that cheap gimmick to slander the Chairman of the Board.
1917
The worst train wreck in history, leaving 543 Frenchmen dead. Actually, over 500 French people dead... is that such a bad thing?
1937
US gunboat Panay is sunk by the Japanese military on the Yangtze River by a combined action of bombing, dive bombing, and strafing. Japan apologized, disciplining those involved and paying $2.2M reparations.
1980
"Whip It" earns Devo a gold record. It is the first distinction of its kind for any song about masturbation. Whip it good.
1989
Leona Helmsley fined $7 million and sentenced to jail for 21 months for tax evasion. They made the bitch serve 900 hours of community service.
1991
Richard Gere (claims he is not gay) marries supermodel Cindy Crawford (ditto). Widespread rumors that Gere was intimate with a gerbil have yet to be verified.

IMAGES YOU WON'T BELIEVE ARE NOT PHOTOSHOPPED

I couldn't tell if this was the most horrifying or most adorable thing I'd ever seen, until I learned the backstory. First terrifying detail: it is real. There's even video. This species of giant gray bunnies are bred by a guy in Germany ... for food. Look people, I'm going to say it extra slow Germany. Is. Freaking. Weird. If you choose to travel there, please don't return with photographs.

THE AMAZING RACE

After covering five continents in 23 days, "The Amazing Race 13" concluded last Sunday in Portland (where fake teams raced), and sibling team Nick and Starr Spangler defeated Ken and Tina Greene to win the $1 million prize. Frat boys Andrew Lappitt and Dan Honig came in third, apparently far behind everyone else. Toward the end, Ken and Tina were leading, but Nick and Starr caught up, and it seemed to come down to cab rides, especially since Dan and Andrew were in a slow cab. Once the finish line arrived, Dallas and Toni were missing from the finish line because they couldn’t get out of Russia with Dallas’ missing-but-eventually-recovered passport, but clearly they reconnected with the rest of the cast since Dallas and Starr are now dating. As always, the tension led the final three teams to say—and do—some hysterically stupid things. Phil’s introduction said Ken and Tina “came on the race in hopes of repairing their broken marriage” and that “they rediscovered each other.” Thankfully, there was no footage of that. Phil said that Dan and Andrew “overcame huge odds as they bumbled and marched their way to the final three relying on a lot of brutal tenacity and a little bit of luck.” The “marched” was inserted just to have one last excuse to show Dan marching like a squirrel that fell off an electric line onto its head and was trying to get out of the way of a semi.

Dan said, “For people who just think we’re going to be chicken feed for the other teams, they’re severely mistaken. It’s first or nothing.” Nothing it is! For no discernible reason, Tina said at one point, “I’m about to lose it.” Ken suddenly turned on his baby/dog owner voice and said, “you did, great, you good girl.” Nick and Starr started in Moscow wearing normal people clothes, but magically had their lucky camo on once they arrived in Portland. Ken described the Spanglers’ good luck with perhaps the most descriptive metaphor of the season: “Nick and Starr got a horseshoe stuck in their rear end.” “If we win today, it would be the biggest win in the history of the Amazing Race,” Andrew said. Then he and Dan all but evaporated from the race. Ken and Tina said “one million dollars” while putting their little fingers up to their mouths! Ha! You go with your 11-year-old pop-culture reference! The Austin Powers reference was significantly less annoying than Nick saying “million dollars,” “million dollars” over and over and over again. Aren’t camouflaged people supposed to be quiet? The final task involved remembering various legs of the race, as it usually does. But this time, teams had to both recall details from every leg of the race but had to then find photographs that matched them in 150 clue boxes that were lined up in a field. In other words, it was the most insane version of memory ever. “You look like Peter Pan,” Starr told Nick as he went down a zip line.
“I just don’t want it to come down to a freakin’ cab ride,” Starr said, panicked that Ken and Tina would beat them. Searching for a location based only on clue, Starr started yelling, “Does anyone know where the magic is in the hole?” Amazingly, that strategy actually worked, and someone directed them to a donut shop. Earlier, when Nick and Starr asked a woman the same question, she rudely suggested they check a phone book. But when Ken and Tina showed up, she suddenly had all kinds of knowledge and guided them there. She’s either a camouflage-wearing super-sibling-phobe or realized that she get her face-stuffing face on camera. Ken yelled into an open cab window that he’d pay the passenger $50 to get out. “This is a customer!” the driver screamed and pulled away. “You okay?” a cab driver asked Nick and Starr, who essentially hyperventilated their way through the race following the Detour. Once they finally showed up at the finish, Dan said, “I think any frat guy watching would be proud of our performance,” calling himself and Andrew “beer-guzzling idiots.” On the final mat, Ken said, “I’m asking you to start this thing over again.” He wasn’t talking about the race, since they placed second, but instead their marriage, so he pulled out their wedding rings and totally stole Nick and Starr’s moment. Except for being occasionally arrogant and impossibly cute, Nick and Starr were so consistently strong—they placed 7th out of 11 legs, never mind pulled ahead at the end after being behind—that they deserved to win. Now maybe they can buy something to wear other than camouflage.

HEROES

So you think your last office birthday party was bad? Well, you've obviously never invited Sylar to one of your gatherings. That was the main thing I learned this week: if there's an invitation list, it's better to keep Sylar off of it--lest you want your birthday cake covered in blood. While that was probably the most disturbing part of the episode, it probably wasn't the most important--after all, it was pretty inevitable that Sylar would be back to doing his Sylar thing eventually. The catalyst was actually the driving force behind this episode. Who gives it and who takes it plays a big role in what happens, and ends up ending one of my least favorite storylines from recent weeks. We saw at the end of last week that Claire and Hiro were finally going to get some screen time together, as he pulls her back 16 years and watches Hiro's father turn over the baby version of herself to HRG. Although they didn't do much together, it was about time that we got to see Hiro with the cheerleader he's been so intent on saving. Claire's decision to save the baby version of herself from becoming the catalyst ended up being kind of creepy. She follows her mother home, pretends to be their neighbor's niece, and quickly proceeds to change her own diaper. This whole scene also bothers me because while they caked her mother's face in enough pancake to fill an IHOP, they didn't do anything to HRG to make him look sixteen years younger. Since Claire's not-so-clever idea still managed to prevent her from becoming the catalyst, we still needed to find somewhere for it to go. I like that we finally get to see Hiro's mother and find out that she had powers as well. I do find it interesting that despite the fact that she seems to be a healer, she can't save herself. She dies after giving Hiro the catalyst, and it makes me wonder if her illness was brought on by the catalyst itself, or if that was what was keeping her alive. In any case, I'm so happy that she gave Hiro his memory back. I've had just about enough of 10-year-old Hiro and his waffle fetish. Hiro's possession of the catalyst is predictably short-lived, since Arthur tries to steal it from him. I actually wasn't expecting anyone to die in this scene, since it is Heroes, after all, and nobody ever dies. However, this episode was full of surprises for me. Not only is Elle actually dead, but Arthur appears to bite the big one as well. Despite the fact that Angela has been trying to bump off her husband for a while now, even enlisting Peter to do her dirty work for her, it was Sylar's daddy issues that allow him to actually get the job done. So, seriously. I was really sad to see that Sylar had actually killed Elle. I love Kristen Bell and enjoyed her and Gabriel/Sylar together. How is it that Ali Larter plays three really boring characters and stays on the show forever, but Elle gets her head sliced open?  It was nice to see Ando interacting with someone other than Hiro, and I'm really hoping that he gets some powers of his own. I kind of like how Sylar just seems to be killing because he missed it. I'm pretty sure he could have gotten what he wanted from Elle without murdering her, and that entire office party was a bit superfluous. Also: hilarious. Next week is the last episode of the calendar year, and I'm pretty excited. They seem to be tying up some of the fifty million storylines and streamlining the whole operation a bit. I have high hopes for next week's episode.

GEEK TALK

AICN's Moriarty has Part One of his visit to the Kick-Ass set online -- and it's such a long, enjoyable read that I honestly can't figure out what to cut and paste ... but I settled on his description of the character Hit Girl. "Hit Girl's the coolest of the bunch. Her outfit's a variation on a schoolgirl outfit, but with body armor, leather-wrapped. She's got a purple wig and a small black mask, and Chloe's got a sneer that would make Elvis Presley proud, like if Batman adopted a tiny female Billy Idol as his sidekick." 

Back in February, Fox optioned Jeff Kenney's graphic novel, "Diary of a Wimpy Kid". Well, it now has a director in Thor Freudenthal, who's the hottest name for young adult fare thanks to the hotly-anticipated Hotel for Dogs. I'm sorry to say that in the intervening months, I never did purchase and read "Wimpy Kid". Any fans out there who can shed some light? (By the way, Mr. Freudenthal -- with that awesome name, I hope you direct a Marvel film someday.) 

Last week, Len Wiseman signed on to direct Atlantis Rising, and now the project has a writer. Joby Harold is in negotiations to pen the adaptation. Producer Roberto Orci describes the project's appeal for those of us who didn't get sucked in by the comics: "In all the classic versions of this kind of movie, the threat is always from the stars. The idea that it's somehow our cousins who went off in a different path of evolution who have been here, literally, underneath our oceans ... That's fascinating, the idea of secrets right under your nose."
ScreenCrave has some more from Liev Schreiber on playing Sabretooth. You might remember that gossip had him playing William Stryker, as that's the part he was originally offered. Schreiber's fandom took over: "I asked, 'Do you think there is any way I could play this Victor Creed guy? The research that I did, Victor's particular mutant issue, has nothing to do with his name 'Sabertooth' but that's where I decided to start. What is Sabertooth. How do they move? What are their behavioral characteristics? And I knew this stuff from the comic. I knew that he was a completely savage street fighter and that, that was his MO. But, what I hadn't seen in some of the earlier films that I was interested in trying to pursue, [which] is what drives the guy, and instead of saying this guy is just a violent brute, what is the cocktail that makes the brute tick. Hopefully people will like it."
What's it like to play Rorschach? MTV's Splash Page asked Jackie Earle Haley: "I feel like I'm inside the graphic novel and I'm seeing Rorschach's silhouette but I'm not just seeing Rorschach's silhouette, I'm seeing my silhouette and it's Rorschach's! It was just wonderfully empowering."

WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?

Here's your Christmas present from Warner Bros -- the Watchmen footage from ComicCon that was raved about for so long. Since then, much of it was incorporated into the second trailer, but not as stylishly as it was presented here. (Everything is stylish when accompanied by Philip Glass' Koyaanisquatsi score, though.) But now you can finally see the Dan Dreiberg footage raved about. Only three and a half more months, people. Three and a half more months! The footage is available as a free download on iTunes!!

PHINALLY

There you have it, pholks, another entry of the Phile. You know, since the Phile moved over to blogspot, it gets a lot more hits! The Phile is getting better and better! I am now gonna go off and download the Watchmen footage on iTunes, but before I do that let me remind you tomorrow sometime I will post the second Peverett Phile interview. This week it's with singer Jennifer McKee and is the best one yet. Thanks for reading, and as always, spread the word, not the turd.

The Peverett Phile Interviews: Jill Wagner

Hello, welcome to the phirst of many interviews I hope to post on Saturday's. We start off with Jill Wagner. Jill co-starred in the Spike TV television show "Blade: The Series" as Krista Starr.

She has been featured as the Mercury vehicle spokesmodel in their ads since 2005 and has become known as "The Mercury Girl". Jill appeared in Stuff magazine following her national debut in 2003 as a cast member on the MTV series "Punk'd". Jill was ranked #90 on the Maxim Hot 100 Women of 2004.  And in the summer of 2008, Jill became a co-host for the ABC show "Wipeout".

Me: First things first, after being on TV as the Mercury Girl, do you get recognized? I bet a lot of guys come on to you, right? 

Jill: It happens more often now, but i always get a marriage proposal when i am in my Mercury stopped at a stop light. That seems to be the pick up line with me, no dates.... straight to marriage with these guys!

Me: Where are you originally from and what made you move to L.A.? 

Jill: I am from Winston Salem, NC. I loved out to LA after graduating college at North Carolina State University. I moved out because i always wanted to see the country and i figured i would go west and make my way back east.... i haven't started heading back just yet. I wasn't sure of the whole acting thing until I was cast in Punk'd as a sketch performer, then i realized that acting was something that excited me and i hadn't found that in any other profession.

Me: Was it easy to get jobs there (L.A.)? 

Jill: NO!

Me: Your first big role was as a field agent on 'Punk'd'. How did you get that role? 

Jill: I auditioned like all the others. It was pretty intense for someone who had never been in the industry before.

Me: How was Ashton to work with? I heard he is really fun and laid back. 

Jill: He was like a big brother to me and took me under his wing. He always made the set feel very relaxed and not so "job like" He is a very smart guy and i felt lucky that he saw talent in me.

Me: What was your least favorite Punk and your most favorite? 

Jill: Most favorite was Katie Holmes, least would have to be ... don't have one...

Me:  Jill, you became really popular as the Mercury girl. So, do you drive a Mercury? 

Jill: Mercury Mariner Hybrid!

Me: I thought you were great in "Blade:The Series". Was there any talk of you being in the movie versions? 

Jill: Well the pilot was suppose to be the 4th movie , many people didn't know that. I would love to go back into the Blade world, i think that Krista didn't really get to evolve all the way as a character and i would love to see her back , but this time on the big screen! I see if i can't talk to David Goyer about that!

Me: How did you feel when the show was cancelled? 

Jill: I was very sad to have to leave Vancouver and the cast and crew that were now like family. I was really looking forward to seeing where Krista was gonna go , but i realize that is what happens in this business. No guarantees and you just ride the wave as long as you can, then hop on another one.

Me: In one episode you were swimming in this red water? Are you a good swimmer, and what was that like? 

Jill: I am a good swimmer but this was more like walking into it. There were steps that lead into it but they were all slimy and i was sliding all over the place. I had to film a mercury commercial the next day so they were very concerned about the "blood" staining my skin. Between every take i showered off and put a barrier cream on. It was an odd substance and not something i would recommend swimming in. (Kinda smells like beets)

Me: A few years ago you were ranked as one of Maxim's 100 Hot Women... how did that make you feel? 

Jill: flattered, but i think it made the guy i was with at the time more happy than it did me.

Me: You were once up for the part of Wonder Woman, which would really put you on the map. How did those talk go, and are you still interested in playing a part like that? 

Jill: i would love to play such an iconic hero. i remember watching reruns in my basement thinking i was Diana Prince. I am sure hollywood will come up with a great addition to the franchise. I sure would like to use my lasso of truth to find out!

Me: Okay, let's talk about "Wipeout", a show my son Logan and I watched together over the Summer. How long did it take to film that whole series? 

Jill: 8 episodes takes 5 or 6 weeks, now we are shooting 16 for season 2 so we are breaking it up shooting Nov and ..then come back in Feb and March. Tell Logan thanks for watching!

Me: Are you still going to be in the next season, and did you ever feel that you wanted to take part in one of those games? 

Jill: I am in the second season, I would love to try the course. It's just the Wiping Out part that i don't like!

Me: Most actresses start doing nudity in their early career... were you ever offered, and what do you feel about that? 

Jill: I was offered many times, nothing wrong with it if you feel the need. I personally never felt that need.

Me: What music do you listen to at the moment? 

Jill: i use to really be into the harder rock but now i am digging the calmer side of life,,,, Rachel Yamagata is in my CD player

Me: And finally, what is your favorite Foghat song? 

Jill: SLOW RIDE

Thanks, Jill, for a phantastic phirst interview. Next week: singer Jennifer McKee.

You Sleigh Me!

PHIRST OF...

Are you ready? Are you ready for the Peverett Phile, the most updated blog on the internet. Happy Holidays, I am your host, Jason the Christmas Ass. Man, I can't believe it's 20 days to Christmas, or as I like to call it, 20 days until I get a shit load of DVD's. Jen and Logan are out and I was told the Sod guy is coming over. I thought I was the Sod guy. Only British readers probably got that joke... how little of a joke it was. Britney Spears turned 27 on the 2nd. That’s almost grandmother age for the Spearses. “Britney Spears” were the most-searched words of the year on Yahoo!, followed by “World Wrestling Federation,” and in third place, “Barack Obama.” I think the lesson here is that Americans are not responsible enough to be using computers. The Peverett Phile wasn't even in the top 100! Yahoo! also reported the top 10 searches by Britney Spears. No. 1 was “Where do babies keep coming from?” President Bush and Laura are looking for a new place to move into. God, I hope they don't move to Groveland. And now for some jokes from Jay Leno as I am too lazy to write my own: The big rumor is that Bill Clinton could be a possible replacement for Hillary Clinton's Senate seat when she becomes secretary of state. I believe this would be the first time Bill has ever shown any interest in Hillary's seat. So, you go from a Clinton in pantsuits to a Clinton who drops his suit pants. Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush said in a recent interview that Republicans cannot be the “old white-guy party.” I believe he made this statement at the National Shuffleboard Convention in Boca Raton, Fla. President Bush gave an interview to ABC News. Bush said he wished "the intelligence on Iraq had been different." Hey — how many wish the intelligence in the White House had been different? 

THE PEVERETT PHILE TOP TEN LIST

From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Things Overheard During The Pilgrims' First Thanksgiving Day Parade 

10. "This will never catch on"
9. "I almost forgot to buckle my hat this morning"
8. "This bald eagle is delicious"
7. "Parades are immoral. Floats are immoral. Thanksgiving is immoral"
6. "Crap, we forgot the helium back in England"
5. "Who the hell is Underdog?"
4. "Those balloons must be witchcraft!"
3. "Oh look! Here come the Plymouth Rock-ettes!"
2. "Let's have a nice hand for this year's Grand Marshal, John McCain"
And the number one thing overheard during the Pilgrim' first Thanksgiving Day Parade was...

1. "Your float sucketh"

SOMEONE PHAMOUS HAS DIED

Odetta: Someone's toast, my Lord, Cumbaya ...

FLORIDA: AMERICA'S WANG

From TCPalm.com: Martin County Sheriff's Office deputies arrested a man who threw hot sweet potato pie in his girlfriend's face on Thanksgiving because he didn't like the food, according to a Sheriff's Office report. On Thanksgiving, Christopher Ford, 46, went to his home on the 8400 block of Southeast Fern Street. When he got home he asked for something to eat, according to the report. But Ford was upset with the meal his girlfriend fixed for him and they got into an argument in the kitchen. While arguing, Ford picked up the sweet potato pie his girlfriend had recently removed from the oven and slammed it into her face, according to the report. Ford ran outside the rear door of the residence when the woman's three teenagers went into the kitchen to see what the ruckus was and saw their mom with pie on her face, according to the report. After deputies arrived, the victim was transported to Martin Memorial Hospital South to treat the burns and blisters on her neck from the hot pie, according to the report. Later that night deputies found and arrested Ford. He was charged with domestic battery and was released on a $5,000 on Friday, said Rhonda Irons, the Martin County Sheriff's Office spokesperson.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT PHOTOSHOPPED

Yes, this push-pop made of "Macaroni & Cheese in Chili Sauce With Beef" is very real, part of a "convenience meets nausea" movement to provide your favorite foods on the go in a microwaveable, cardboard tube. Scrambled eggs are also available. Here's a tip for all you potential consumers: if you want macaroni and cheese so badly that you're willing to eat it in a push pop, you have an illness and need to reach out to a professional.

CANNED LAUGHTER

The bank manager noticed the new clerk was an idiot when it came to counting money and adding up figures. 

“Where did you get your financial education?” he asks.
“Yale,” replies the lad.
“And what’s your name?” asks the manager.
“Yim Yohnston.”

THE AMAZING RACE

Thanks to a long weekend, not even that old bastard Andy Rooney complaining about prices and delaying "The Amazing Race 13" could affect my mood Sunday night, although he was preceded on "60 Minutes" by Anderson Cooper interviewing Michael Phelps, a segment that was vaguely reminiscent of Anderson’s time on The Mole, particularly when he joked that Phelps had let himself go by gaining weight, or when Coop actually got into the pool and raced Phelps (really). As to the actual episode, there’s just one left after last night’s, and it should be interesting considering how most of the teams seem worn out. I assume that fatigue has just set in, or else they’ve all been really great at concealing their stupidity so far. Andrew said making the final three “a miracle,” but at first the universe seemed to communicate that they were screwed. The best sign came when Andrew and Dan were trying to hail a cab and got soaked when a truck drove through a puddle. “It was just a matter of when and how much water was going to be doused on us,” Dan said, ever the crankypants optimist. Tina instructed Ken to “ask [the cab driver] if he could smoke later.” Ken said, “Just let the man smoke.” Translation: “Leave me alone, woman, or I’m going to open the cab door and drag my ear along the ground until it grinds away my flesh and destroys my ear drum so I can no longer hear your attempts to control me.” “I paid a lot of money for his education, but I’m not sure he’ll know how to tell the difference” between Stalin and Lenin, Dallas’ mom Toni said while he completed a task. I’m not sure where he went to school, but I’d hope that they had a lesson on Comparing Words to See if They Match, since both the clues and the statue had the men’s names in Cyrillic.
The first sign that Nick was a little tired—besides the fact that he was wearing his own shirt this week, unlike last week, a detail I missed because I often look away when they’re on screen—came when he ran up to his clapping sister (who was saying, “Good job, good job”) and asked, “This is it?” Other context clues he missed: the other waiting team members, and, oh, the clue box. Stupidity is apparently contagious, as in the car, Starr asked Nick about the clue, which said to find someone with a Shetland pony. “Like a horse pony? Or do they mean a ponytail?” she asked. “She probably doesn’t want me to be her son anymore,” Dallas said while he failed miserably at the statue-counting Roadblock. Um, what would she want you to be instead? (And that’s the last incest joke of the season!) Dallas screwed up beyond taking forever on the Roadblock, however. He told us, “As I was getting out, I realized that my bag with my passport and all the money was in the taxi that I had taken. That’s when I started getting extremely nervous and realize I had no money and was in big trouble.” Hmm, “extremely nervous” and “in big trouble” seem to undersell the fact that you totally fucked your team. Forget the money: no passports? Waiting in line at the embassy for an emergency passport wouldn’t exactly propel you to first place. Although the race has completely eliminated the need for non-eliminated teams to shamefully beg for money from people in other countries while in a $1 million contest, Dallas and Toni’s lack of cash meant that they were left to beg strangers for cash.
Andrew and Dan had to perform a dance for their Speedbump task, which I refuse to believe wasn’t created just for them because Dan, of course, can’t move his body in any rhythmic way. Alas, it wasn’t anywhere near as comical as his attempt at walking last week. Nick and Starr placed first for the sixth time (out of 10 legs) and won yet another Travelocity vacation. They’re going to be seeing a lot of that damn gnome. Dan had to hold up his shorts while running to the mat. Maybe he left his belt behind with his shoes? Still, he and Andrew made it to the final three, checking in second. Miracles do happen, apparently, or God just hates all of us.
“You need to go get the clue that tells you to come to the mat,” Phil and his eyebrow told Ken and Tina, who suddenly, conveniently forgot that they were looking for a clue when they spotted Andrew and Dan running to the mat. Tina gave Phil a confused, hurt look, which did not work on our host. Phil did an off-mat Philimination for Dallas and Toni, who were still begging their way around Moscow, so he popped out of a door and surprised them with the news that the race was over for them—and almost over for us. 

Update: Dallas and Toni Imbimbo, who were eliminated from "The Amazing Race 13" on Sunday’s episode, missed the finale as a result. In other words, they won’t be standing near the final mat to cheer on the final three teams. First, however, after flirting with her relentlessly on the race, Dallas is still dating Starr Spangler, although it’s a long-distance relationship as they live on opposite coasts. “We’ve been dating for a while now, about six months. We’re taking it one day at a time,” Dallas told Fancast. As to his colossal screw-up in the final episode that essentially cost them the race, Dallas says his passport and money were lost because production needed to change his mic’s battery, and he had to change cabs; in the confusion, his stuff was lost. “What happened was I had to do a microphone battery change. I was in the cab for about an hour. The driver didn’t know where he was going. I said, ‘I need a new taxi.’ So, as I was getting out to do the microphone change [the Amazing Race staff] undid my fanny pack with all my stuff in it because they had to get to the microphone. When I got out of the first taxi, it wasn’t attached to me anymore. I hopped into a new taxi, took that to where I needed to be and then went to pay. I didn’t have any money. That’s when I realized I’d left it in the previous taxi.” Ultimately, though, he still left it behind. Dallas said that he actually was in three taxis, and that the editing misrepresented what happened. “They made it look like the taxi with my pack drove away and I just watched it and waved goodbye. That was far from the case,” Dallas said. As he explained to Reality TV World, Dallas “got out and flagged down a new taxi, got a new taxi and went in there for about 20-30 minutes and finally had them take me to somewhere I knew. When I got there that’s when I realized I didn’t have the bag with me and my passport and my money was long gone. They made it look like [the cab] was right there and I could run after it but that’s not true. If it was anywhere near there I would’ve caught up to it, I don’t care if it was three miles down the road I woulda ran after it. But I had no chance of finding it,” he said. Ultimately, Dallas says his “passport was turned in to the U.S. Embassy, so I was actually [able to] get home. I wasn’t able to make it for the finale, but we finally got back later, luckily not too much later than everybody else.”

HEROES

Well, that was a whole lot of hullabaloo about nothing. Can I say that I'm really enjoying Hiro these last couple of episodes? Maybe all he needed was to be a 10-year old boy. In fact, I wasn't too terribly annoyed by anyone in this episode ... except for Mohinder. Come on, dude. Let it go. Do you really think she's still going to be interested after everything that went down?

You just know that Seth Green and Breckin Meyer were just geeking out about getting a role on this show. In fact, we need more "Heroes" sketches on "Robot Chicken". Now there's no excuses. As for the rest, the eclipse came and went and all those huge promises about what a big freaking deal this would turn out to be were for naught. Their powers disappeared when the eclipse came. What happened when it left? Their powers came back. In fact, everything went right back to the way it was, and it was pretty damned obvious how it was going to play out. Of course Claire would die just before the eclipse ended. Of course, HRG would "kill" Sylar just before the eclipse ended. That way when it was over and their powers came back no one will have died. In fact, the only casualties of the whole eclipse situation were The Haitian II: The God Complex and Elle. And both of those were just too obvious. If only Sylar had Matt's ability, he could have read Elle's mind and found out if HRG was lying. Not sure why he did his head slice thing, though. He already has her abilities and knows how to get them without killing. Just has to put his signature move on. He's like the Hulkster in that. Just think of it as his leg drop. I guess all of this was so that we could set up Gabriel/Sylar to become the ultimate villain again, because he's just so good at being bad. But now we can sympathize with him a little bit ... I guess. Now that HRG has stirred up his mommy and daddy issues even more, he's going to have to become another psychopathic monster to cope. Maybe he can be Matt Parkman's brother next. "Daddy locked me in a mind room. That's why I kill." Get over it, man. We've all been through some crap in our lives. We came so close to getting rid of Claire Bennett, but not so fast! She'll never die, and now Papa Petrelli wants her. Kudos to Hiro for the most entertaining moment of the night when he popped into the Bennett household, grabbed Sylar and said "Bad man" in Japanese, wisking him away to some beach somewhere so he could kill Elle and free Kristen Bell to do whatever she has next on her plate. I like the Matt and Daphne love connection as much as the next guy, but that story was really going nowhere. And that moment when her dad came out on the porch and hugged her was about the most awkward thing I've seen. He looked like he was either going to fall on her or pounce on her when he came out and then they embraced like to bears about to fight. Very odd. This show keeps killing off its hot chicks, except for Hayden Panattiere and Ali Larter. You need to cast some damn hotties and keep them around. Hayden and Ali's characters don't do it for me anymore. I liked Elle. Okay, Maya's still around (nice cameo tonight), but she's useless as a character, too. Having that comic book problem of coming up with good strong female characters that aren't just sex kittens? Only two chapters left in this volume. Will they really come through on any of their promises of changing everything, or will it be another disappointing ending? You know, that's a lot like comics too. Great setups and disappointment in the end. Maybe that's what they're going for. Good job, then!

GEEK TALK

Superhero movies are like Lay's potato chips (it is Lay's, isn't it?) -- you can never have just one. JoBlo caught up with Will Smith during his press rounds for Seven Pounds, and asked him if we would ever see any more of his reformed superhero, Hancock. The answer? "Definitely."

In fact, Smith is uninterested in ever playing another superhero because there's enough franchise potential in this one. He told JoBlo that there's plenty of unexplored characters in Hancock's universe that would be ripe for a sequel -- and that we'll find out who they are in an eventual sequel. It's not expected for a few years, which is puzzling. It did well at the box office, but it wasn't particularly memorable. In two or three years, will anyone actually remember Hancock enough to flock to a sequel? Won't their brains be overloaded with all those Marvel and DC movies? Shouldn't Peter Berg and Smith while the iron is relatively hot? Then again, we are talking Smith. He's the King of Summer. The iron is always hot. Audiences will probably flock to see him whether or not they remember the original film or not. Let's turn it over to you guys -- are you up for a Hancock sequel? Do you see the unexplored characters and potential that could keep Hancock competing with Marvel and DC for years to come? Or was he just a summer one-shot? Me, on the other hand, cannot wait to see a sequel.

PHINALLY

There you have it, pholks, another entry of the Phile. The next entry will be tomorrow. What? Tomorrow you ask? Why? Well, starting tomorrow is the first of the brand spankin' new Peverett Phile Interviews. Yes, that's right, every Saturday I will be posting an interview I actually did. The phirst interview is with Jill Wagner. Who is Jill Wagner? Well, just read the Phile tomorrow to find out. Then the next regular update will be on the 12th of December with the second interview on the 13th. So, if there was anytime to spread the word, not the turd, the time is now. The Phile is going to get bigger and better then ever before. And just wait until 2009, phans. Oh, boy.