Hey there, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How have you been? Just in case you didn't think that the news couldn't get any more cartoonishly insane, the Vice President of the United States officially announced his plan for the creation of a new branch of the military: a Space Force. Pence is trying to drum up Congressional approval to officially extend the Empire to the Galaxy by 2020, offering no details on how it is to be paid for, if it's even legal according to international treaties, or whether he's a "Star Trek" or Star Wars guy. It is truly the dumbest time to be alive. The president is truly pumped, and tweeting like a little boy who just got a Buzz Lightyear ice cream cake and his birthday party.
Oklahoma man Tyler Joseph Schlosser, 29, was arrested last week when he was spotted in a field fucking a horse. "A witness told investigators she saw a man 'full nude standing in the field having sex with a pony,' according to the affidavit," KPVI reports. Schlosser tried to pull a Roseanne and blame his misbehavior on medication, but that didn't stop him from getting booked and held on a $50,000 bond. "It stretches the imagination," the county's sheriff, Scott Walton, said. "I certainly have sympathy for the homeowners who had to witness it. That literally causes some emotional scars. People laugh about it and everything. I guess you got to deal with it, but I do have sympathy for people who have to witness sick stuff like that." My thoughts go out to the witnesses. And to the pony.In a bewildering move, a Horizon Air employee stole an Alaska Airlines plane on Friday and flew it erratically until crashing into an island nearby. The employee... whose identity has not been released... stole the passenger plane from Seattle-Tacoma International Airport around 8 p.m. The aircraft's unpredictable flight pattern terrified onlookers, who got photo and video footage of the plane's ill-fated excursion. Fortunately, the employee was the only person on board and his bizarre stunt did not injure anyone else, according to Alaska Airlines. The company's CEO Brad Tilden addressed the incident in a statement, saying, "We’re working to find out everything we possibly can about what happened, working with the Federal Aviation Administration, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the National Transportation Safety Board. We are giving those investigators our full support and cooperation." NBC reported that the man expressed distress about his mental health while communicating with the air traffic control tower. He mentioned "having a few screws loose" and demonstrated signs of suicidal ideation. Naturally, the errant plane disrupted air traffic control... but it also scared observers who had no idea what the aircraft was doing. Recordings they made show the plane's alarming movements and capture the confusion and fear the incident caused. Some of the people recording were, understandably, extremely freaked out. At a press conference, Sheriff Paul A. Pastor said it was definitely not an act of terror, "Most terrorists don't do loops over the water." The FBI is currently investigating, while Alaska Air is cooperating with authorities and their own safety team to make sense of exactly what went down.
By now, we all know the weekend hasn't truly arrived until we're all talking about something completely unhinged that Donald Trump Jr. posted online. What better way to desperately earn the approval of your father than through emulating his severely unglued relationship with the web?! The latest social media installment of Don Jr. desperately cloying for daddy's involved a deeply embarrassing photoshop job of president Trump's approval rating. The now-deleted infographic was posted on Don Jr.'s Instagram on Thursday night, and showed a doctored image boosting Trump's approval rating to 50 percent. For reference, Obama's was 45 percent. It took roughly seconds for sharp-eyed viewers to recognize the bad photoshop job. Plus, all it takes is a quick jaunt on Google to confirm that Trump's approval rating is in fact 39 percent (although this is always rapidly shifting). Needless to say, Don Jr. got dragged to hell and back for his deeply obvious photoshop job. Check it out...
The embarrassment factor feels even higher when you consider how this is obviously a bid for his dad's approval. If you're feeling sad, as if this Internet dragging of Don Jr. has flashed before your eyes way too fast, then have no fear. There will absolutely be another ridiculous Instagram post within the coming week. It's like nightmare clockwork.
These days, brands aren’t afraid to aggressively target the LGBT market. Last year, Coke broke new ground by showing a gender non-binary person and correctly referred to them as “them” in a Super Bowl ad. Now, Dr. Pepper has taken things a step further by creating an ad for the Swedish market that makes not-so-subtle references to gay sexual roles. It humorously references being a “bottom” (the receiver in anal sex), a “top” (the giver), or and “vers,” which is short for versatile or someone who will play either position. Here's the ad...
The ad led many people to wonder if the thirst-quenching doctor had come out of the closet. It would certainly be the first gay soda can. The ad's caption reads, “A queer drink for diverse drinkers.” Which makes sense because, really, can anyone describe what Dr. Pepper tastes like? Some people are fans of the ad because it the brand wasn’t afraid to have fun with a pretty graphic topic. But many thought the ad didn’t make much sense or that it was just another brand trying to pander to the gay community. And some people just saw the opportunity to make a joke.
If I had a TARDIS I would like to go back to New York City in the 70s and go to Studio 52. Knowing my luck though Debbie Harry, model Jerry Hall and Paloma Picasso would be making fun of me in the corner...
Last weekend I stayed at a hotel and I'm glad I didn't find an ominous note left in the room like this one...
Sheesh. You know, some people stray so far from God's light, if there is a God.
I don't get it. Here's a crazy pic that is not edited, kids...
In Morocco, goats climb argan trees because why not. They say if you go to Walmart you'll see some weird sights. I didn't believe it until I saw this...
If you're thinking of cheating on your loved one you might wanna think twice after seeing this...
Yikes. A few weeks ago when Trump was in England people in London sure had some very creative anti-Trump signs. Like this one...
Okay then. So, I was thinking of getting another tattoo but someone already had the same idea I had...
Whatever that is. You know what makes me laugh? Old people with inappropriate t-shirts...
Hey, do you know what's the best? I'll tell you...
As stated above, the methane and hydrogen in bacteria-produced farts make your gas highly flammable. This is why some people think it's a fun party trick to hold a lighter up to their bums and let one fly; doing so produces a big burst of flame, but is obviously very dangerous. In rare cases, a build-up of flammable gasses in the intestines have caused explosions during intestinal surgeries!
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. It should be easy.
You don't have to be British to laugh at this meme, but it will bloody well help.
Hahahahaha. That made me laugh. So, I mentioned the Seattle airline employee who stole and crashed a plane, scaring the fuck out of everyone in the monologue. Well, a friend of the Phile has something to say about it as well. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is.
I don't get it. Oh, wait, I think I do. Now for...
May 20th, 1940 — August 7th, 2018
April 22nd, 1926 — August 5th, 2018
Email 957 from today: "Oh! I know! The Facts Of Death! That's the obit!" Genius. Yeah. Thanks.
I'll have two great Disney guests. It'll be a lot of fun.
This is really cool and special... today's guests are an American country singer-songwriter, author and producer and American singer-songwriter, musician, producer, actress, author, and poet. Together they worked on the CD "Johnny Cash: Forever Words." The book version is the 84th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Please welcome to the Phile... John Carter Cash and Jewel!
Me: Hey, welcome to the Phile, you two. Holy shit. I thought I was just gonna be interviewing you, John. Jewel, hello! How are you both?
John: Thanks, I'm good.
Jewel: Thank you, Jason. Surprise.
Me: Yeah, no shit. Okay, so, you have a new album and book out, John, with songs from writings that your dad left behind. That's so cool. Where did you find them?
John: Well, my mother and father I think did not throw much away. With dad, like every great writer, was in a world where they threw away or they keep that they wrote. Even myself as a writer when I look back over my writing every once in a while I go "oh that's beautiful." They are in his office in his folders up in his cabinets. There were all these papers up to 2000 and it was from these papers that from this book "Forever Words" came out. Then following the book in line in some ways I worked with artists like Jewel and some other folks we put together this album of music and melody with my father's words leading the way.
Me: Jewel, you have another connection with the Carter family. You played June Carter Cash in the Lifetime movie "Ring of Fire." What was it like playing her?
Jewel: It was a tremendous honor to portray June in particular, it was based on the memoir about her. Learning about her life, and having been fortunate enough to meet them when I was quite a bit younger. John, when was that?
John: It was '94 maybe? Or '93? Or maybe it was as late as '96, but it was right in there. She opened the show, opening for my parents, and that was the night I met Jewel way back then. You were young.
Me: What do you remember about meeting them, Jewel?
Jewel: I remember having the night off in England and I got a call from my agent saying would I like to open for Johnny Cash and June Carter. I said I will be available, yes. I will do that. I was so nervous to meet them and they were both incredibly warm and kind and disarming. I must not have said three words. I remember I finally got out the words to stammer out that she smelled really lovely. Her perfume was really nice. He wouldn't let me leave til she dug through her purse and get the perfume out of her bag. She was just sweet, she asked me questions. I think up in Alaska we had an outhouse and lived off the land and lived very, very rural. There weren't many role models that had that upbringing and June was one of those role models for me as a child and for my dad as a child. They were heroes for me and my family. Those connections were very dear to me.
Me: John, what made you want to get Jewel involved with this project?
John: Just that I knew she was a person on integrity, I knew where she came from, and there were like life lines. When she was doing the Lifetime film we talked, and it just seemed like the right fit because I knew how much she loved my family. I know also most importantly a piece of poetry that could work for her.
Me: What was the poem she did?
John: "Body On Body." That was the deal about my dad's writing, I knew very well which one could work with Jewel, work with Chris Cornell, it had to work and it worked wonderful.
Me: How did you feel, Jewel, when you read that poem for the first time?
Jewel: I was really excited to read the lyrics for "Body On Body," because it was very sensual. It was romantic but still had that edge that Johnny was so well known for. It was very poetic, very beautiful, so I was very excited to write something like that that I don't think I heard from him or people don't typically think his writing as.
Me: Jewel, you're a great songwriter yourself, and I have been a fan since your first album came out. But I have to say it must of been kinda weird taking the lyrics of Johnny Cash, right?
Jewel: I just had to tell myself if it was terrible nobody would ever hear it. John Carter would pick someone else to sing it. LOL.
Me: You wrote the music for "Body On Body." What was that like? Was it easy?
Jewel: Yeah, luckily the lyrics were great. All I had to do was come up with a melody that didn't mess it up. More than half the job was done for me. I don't get many opportunities in my life as a songwriter that are these huge moments of like before and after and I get to say I have a co-write with Johnny Cash. I can't believe I get to say that. LOL.
Me: John, did you worry it wasn't gonna turn out that great?
John: No, because it's the integrity I talked about. I knew if I told her here's the paint and the canvas she's going to paint her art. The words are the essentials to make that happen in this case but I knew her as an individual artist so I knew she wold make it work that it was her own and she'd be true to it.
Me: Did you feel the same when you approached the other people on the album?
John: Yeah, that was the spirit when I brought things to people it would be something that I thought they could connect to hopefully. If they couldn't they said I'm not doing this. But man, with Jewel she connected wonderfully with my father's words and made it work.
Me: Okay, so, my father was Lonesome Dave from Foghat and preserving his legacy is important to me. That's why I work with Foghat on certain projects and stuff. I feel preserving your families legacy is important to you as well, am I right?
John: Most certainly. I think it's a matter of love and a matter of the heart, matter I look and turn around and it's ten years down the line. Or longer since both of my parents have passed away. Looking at these words and looking at the poetry that's there I see an opportunity to once again communicate with my father, That's really what it is, because in other words having changed maybe I read them ten years ago but I'm a different place now. Maybe I heard them with different ears and it's a different communication, so in essence it's the first time with communication when I look at it that way. I love being able to have that interaction with my father again.
Me: It's been an odd year, because you and your siblings had to come out and speak against these fucking white nationalists groups who misused your dad's lyrics and his image. What was that like to do that?
John: Well, all we had to do was make a statement of what he believed. He made that very public and it was a personal tie in that we don't endorse this. My father didn't endorse far right or far left or whatever. He was into patriotism, but he was never a sensationalist, he spoke up for the underdog, he did work for the Native Americans, he worked for the deformation league, these were the actions that he believed in. I believe he would of asked them to take it down too. There you go.
Me: When that happened did you guys think, shit, we have to deal with this lot?
John: We chose to deal with it because we wanted his integrity to remain in place. With the American subculture for what we can do, everyone claims my dad, He would of claimed everybody. It's like what he have liked his usage of his song on that show. No, but he would of asked them to come in and read the Bible. He would of gave them something to eat. He would of said look what it says right here what you believe. That's what he would have done, he would have opened his heart. I believe that about him. it's all good, it's all in love.
Jewel: I have to add to what John is saying, his family appreciated long before I had the honor of meeting any of his family, was the fact the very few artists in history are willing to be honest about who they are in public. Often they use art as a type of propaganda and actually censor themselves by editing out the more unpleasant bits. These images get portrayed of the almost super humans that seem so perfect and so happy and so wanted because they never allow the lease or the lyric to show them at their worst. So I always gravitated to artists that want you to see their warts along with their beauty. Johnny Cash and June Carter were like that, they really lived their life out loud. It wasn't always pretty but they had such a heart and humanity and that's why I think their legacy as remained very timeless. People were able to properly see themselves as public figures, and I think when an artist is doing their job well they do hold a mirror up to socially and say this is a real picture of where we at. If you go through the book "Forever Words" you see a real picture of a real human. Not someone who is obsessed to control what image a public sees but in earnest trying to document the struggle of his own humanity. Again that's why I was always drawn to their work, it's a role that's very accessible and it's human no matter if you're rich, well bread, poor bread, everybody feels like it's their story and John Carter's great at preserving the integrity and potency and intent and you definitely hear that in this album.
Me: John, was your dad the same man on stage than he was at home?
John: Yeah, that's part of it. He had many different fans and they were all just as real as the next. My father was full of those short comings that Jewel mentioned, but he had a way that he could expose himself, that he could put himself out there that showed those frailties. He did lose face but at the same time it did give people a chance to say wow, this person that I know I admire, that I believe in has admitted their weaknesses. That gives me the strength now. I got an email from a 17-year-old boy the other day who said, "If it wasn't for your father I would be dead right now because I saw the 'Hurt' video and that led me to study more about his life. The more I read the more I figured and now my life has completely turned around." I wish to honor that and appreciate that that he had such an influence on so many people and sometimes it was by showing those frailties. The person on stage that he presented himself to be that was definitely a part of it. There were uglier pieces and he was not afraid to let you know they were there.
Me: Jewel, did you learn anything new about Johnny Cash by reading his words?
Jewel: I think you always learn when you get an in-depth look by anybody's writing. Especially poetry. It's the best snake skin of the soul if you could see the shape of a soul it's through poetry. It bypasses the brain and speaks at this deeper level so with his words just written on a page really gave me a glimpse of this three dimensional personality. A lot of his metaphors were very beautiful and also direct and plain and that's a hard thing to pull off. So, yeah, I definitely learned a lot.
Me: Did you learn anything new about him as well, John?
John: Yeah, you know. It was always there reading through the things. At this part in my life I've got different glasses than I had on when I first seen these things. I'm older for one thing, I'm 48-years-old now and when he passed away I was at a certain place. In that communication that I'm having with him right now I don't know if I'm more mature but I'm in a different place. In some ways I think I'm more of a kid. I connect differently, I have discovered more about my father, there are pieces of paper that I've come across that I didn't know existed.
Me: What is one of your favorite moments with your dad, John?
John: When I was 19-years-old I went up to him and said I was thinking of getting a tattoo. He said, "Wait, I think I've got an idea." He went and got the genealogy book and he drew up the Cash family crest which came from 1248 A.D. and he had an inscription and he said, "Why don't you get this?" I said, "Oh, man, that's cool." So I got the crest. So, still have that that he wrote.
Me: Cool. I have two drawings my dad did and my dad's signature tattooed, as well as my son's signature. My dad would think I was crazy getting those tattoos. Guys, it was so cool to have you both on the Phile... for two different reasons. Both of you please come back again, and thanks for the surprise having Jewel here.
Jewel: Thanks for having us on your great blog, and thanks, John Carter, for including me.
John: You're welcome, Jason. Take care.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to John Carter Cash and Jewel. Man, how great was that. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Bruce Watson from Foreigner. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker