Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile from Walt Disney World... the place I worked for the last 30 years. How are you? So, Nemo means "lost" in Latin, Simba means "lion" in Swahili, Rafiki means "friend" in Swahili and Woody means "erect penis" in English. I'm so damn Disney-fied that my sweat smells like Dole Whip and I fart pixie dust. So, do you believe in happily ever after? Try marriage. It'll knock the Disney right out of you. Ha! Okay, before we talk about some more fun stuff I still have to talk about what's happening in the real world, outside these magical walls of the Magic Kingdom.
Last Sunday, The New York Times reported that former Trump Organization lawyer and Republican National Committee deputy finance chairman Michael Cohen is having a hell of a bad week. According to the Times, federal prosecutors are investigating whether Cohen "committed bank and tax fraud have zeroed in on well over $20 million in loans obtained by taxi businesses that he and his family own." Wow. Twenty million dollars worth of bank fraud sure sounds like a lot of bank fraud! They are also zeroing in on whether Cohen violated campaign finance laws (or any other laws) when he made the deals to silence Stormy Daniels and other women with whom Trump had affairs. While we already knew he was in trouble, the Times reports that the investigation "has entered the final stage and prosecutors are considering filing charges by the end of August." That's soon! Cohen has already shown his willingness to throw Trump under the bus, having released a secret tape of Trump before Omarosa made it cool. The day Cohen flips to save his own ass will likely be a bad day for Trump. Hopefully it happens on a Monday.
In case you still missed one of the biggest news days since the 2016 election (and let's be honest... there have been MANY big news days), let me catch you up. On Tuesday Trump's former lawyer Michael Cohen plead guilty "to multiple counts of bank and tax fraud and campaign finance violations" connected to buying the silence of women Trump had affairs with (including porn star and current American hero Stormy Daniels). His full plea deal amounts to eight felony counts. This is potentially bad news for Trump, given how it directly implicates the president in allegedly directing Cohen to break campaign finance laws. While many of us are clinging to the hope that this will actually reap consequences upon our seemingly impenetrable president, for Daniels, Cohen's guilty plea has an extra dose of schadenfreude. Daniels has been loudly and bravely speaking out against the ways Cohen protected Trump during the election cycle. Back in April, Daniels gave a powerful statement indicting Cohen's enabling of Trump's rise. "For years, Mr. Cohen has acted like he is above the law. He has never thought that the little man, or especially women, and even more, women like me, mattered. That ends now." So, as you can imagine, Cohen's guilty plea on Tuesday was a smoldering hot cup of tea for Daniels to gleefully sip on. Her response on Twitter was as savage and smug as you'd hope. Shortly before Cohen officially plead guilty, Daniel's lawyer Michael Avenatti tweeted about how her refusal to remain silent has helped change the course of Trump's presidency. People online were fully here for Daniel's moment of vindication after months of giving testimony. This news week will be etched in history books to come, and it's only been a week.
While Marky Mark Wahlberg of Funky Bunch fame is mostly known today as the human embodiment of a Boston accent and burger entrepreneur, he committed a hate crime back in the 80s. It's a fact that Hollywood conveniently seems to forget about. In 1988, a 16-year-old Mark Wahlberg assaulted two Asian men who were trying to steal two cases of beer from a convenience store. He attacked one of the men with a wooden stick, and punching the other in the face, leaving one of the victims blind in one eye. Wahlberg also hurled racial slurs, calling them "Vietnam fucking shit" and ranting about "gooks" to the police when he was arrested. So, yeah. Wahlberg was also sued for allegedly breaking a guy's jaw. While beating him at the box office isn't exactly the same thing as beating him in a hate crime, the Asian community got a little bit of poetic justice when the enchanting rom-com Crazy Rich Asians triumphed over Wahlberg's latest generic action movie.
Morning sickness, digestive issues, and fatigue are just a few of the physical symptoms that pregnant women endure while gestating a lil' bundle of joy. But last week Kameisha Denton of Washington hit another, more serious roadblock due to her condition... her employer fired her for being pregnant. In a post that's gone viral, Kameisha wrote, "I usually don’t post personal things like this but is this allowed?"
No, girl. It is not. Kameisha's manager terminated her employment at a New Marysville Jersey Mike's because she was "leaving for maternity leave in several months anyways" and didn't disclose her pregnancy during her interview. In Washington state, it is illegal to hire, fire, or demote a woman because of pregnancy or childbirth. According to the restaurant's owner Tim Trieb, "Marcos" resigned on Wednesday due to his unlawful... not to mention rude!... conduct. Fortunately, Kameisha has her share of loyal supporters... and her story has started earning coverage across the country. RIP Marcos. Justifiably fired and torn to shreds by Facebook commenters.
Last Monday, Melania Trump gave a speech kicking off a federal conference on cyberbullying in Rockland, Maryland. While promoting her anti-cyberbullying "Be Best" campaign, which encourages children to be their best online, Trump admitted that children are often more innately aware of the "benefits and pitfalls of social media than some adults." Regardless of whether this was intended as a sick subtweet at her husband, the President and patron saint of using his huge global platform to channel the bully from Sandlot, people on Twitter have been going to town roasting the First Lady's hypocritical campaign. Some people were waiting with baited breath to decipher whether Melania managed to plagiarize Michelle Obama again. Others had requests for future topics Melania could ironically speak to. The roast jokes about Melania's hypocrisy were through the ROOF. The ultimate question at the center of many people's critique, is whether Melania intentionally chose such an ironic cause, or just fell upon it. Is her "Be Best" campaign some fascist Andy Kauffman performance art?! Or is she really so dead inside she doesn't realize how much of a troll this is to all of us, most importantly her husband? This is truly a question we may ask ourselves for eternity.
So, remember Dory? This is her now...
Feel old yet? So, are you a fan of "Game of Thrones?" It's not a Disney TV show, but...
Disney is taken over. Maybe we'll see Ana topless in the show. That is Ana, right? So, this entry of the Phile has a sponsor...
Hahahaha. Moving on... Disney is in the game of making live action movies of some of their animated movies or TV shows. Well, I think this time they want too far...
That's bloody scary. If I had a TARDIS I would like to go back in time and hang out with Salvador Dali and Walt Disney on a boat.
That's cool, right? So, did you see the new Christopher Robin movie? I dod, but I'm not sure about what they made Pooh like like...
I'm a big fan of the app game "Disney Emoji Blitz," and I love this new character...
It's me!!!!! Hahahahaha. Do you know what is fun to do? Pausing a Disney movie on your Blu-ray or DVD...
Hahaha. man, it sucks... did you hear about Snow White? She was arrested. Here's her mug shot...
Could that pic be any more blurry? Hey, you know Thanos from Infinity War? Well, he was supposed to have a different look...
Hahahahaha. That's so stupid... that's as stupid as...
So, did you see this screen shot from the new Wreck-It Ralph movie?
I bet I know where Pocahontas' hand is... Ha!
Ha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. I hope Irene is not offended. Okay, so, about a year ago the President Trump audio-animatronic made its debut at the Hall of Presidents. Well, that has had some mixed reactions as you can imagine. Well, the audio-animatronic Trump found out the Phile was at Disney World and wanted to say something. So, please welcome to the Phile... this might be really stupid by the way...
Me: Hi, Animatronic Donald Trump. How is it going?
Animatronic Donald Trump: Hello, Jason. Someone yelled at me today saying, "I'm nothing more than one of the animatronic figures in the Chucky Cheese chain. My lips are moving but no one cares because most of it is BS!"
Me: Wow. Did that hurt your feelings?
Animatronic Donald Trump: No, I don't have any feelings.
Me: Oh. What else happened? Anything positive?
Animatronic Donald Trump: I was told I am smarter and more polite than the actual Donald Trump.
Me: That's good. Anything else?
Animatronic Donald Trump: Well... even I am paranoid of the size of his hands. I look at them all day. See?
Me: Haha. Yeah, I see. Anything else you wanna say?
Animatronic Donald Trump: There's so much outrage over Donald Trump’s animatronic at Disney World yet no one has anything to say about Mitch McConnells?
Me: There's a Mitch McConnell animatronic?
Animatronic Donald Trump: Yup.
Me: I don't believe you. Prove it.
Animatronic Donald Trump: Sure...
Me: Hahahahahahaha. Animatronic Donald Trump everybody. Get back to the Hall of Presidents!
Hahaha. Okay, so, a few weeks ago a new friend of the Phile came on and talked about a chance of a black James Bond. This time he wanted to come on and talk about the new Disney show "Star Wars: Resistance." It's time for...
Let's talk about it! "Resistance" won't be for everyone! So after watching the trailer a few times I think it's safe to say once again we will see the fans scream "This looks kiddy!"or "This looks sooooo Disney!" or "They are messing up the franchise again!" And you know what... that's fine. I think it's safe to say that Star Wars doesn't need to be just for the hardcore fan base and they can cater to the new up coming generation as well. I mean what the hell is wrong with that? "Clone Wars" started off weak and not very adult friendly but overtime it grew to be the beast it is today, "Rebels" was VERY Aladdin like and after 2 seasons it truly shined and paved it's way into a lot of peoples hearts and memories! If you still don't believe me then look at "Voltron." That show started of weak, not appealing, kid friendly, hell almost made me fall asleep but over time it's now has its own fan base on its toes and that's what you want, right? I'm not saying this will happen to "Resistance" but I do know that so far Dave Filoni has not failed yet when it came to the TV shows but if it's not for you then guess what, whomp rat? YOU GOT "CLONE WARS" COMING!!! Now what do I think of the show from what I've seen? It doesn't look like my cup of tea and not because of visuals. I don't like the story direction yet and that might because it was either to short or maybe to directed for the kids for me. I will give it one more trailer and 3 episodes until I pass my judgement on it personally but for the people out there blowing up about the show... Relax, sit back, and polish you trooper helmets... "CLONE WARS" IS UPON THE HORIZON!
Good job, Cadence. Now let's see who took a nap in Dirt City.
Neil Simon
July 4th, 1927 — August 26th, 2018
Simon says... well, nothing really.
John McCain
August 29th, 1936 — August 25th, 2018
He ran for President twice. Apparently he was way, WAY too smart for that job.
Robin Leach
August 29th, 1941 — August 24th, 2018
Lifestyles of the Limp and Lifeless.
The 85th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Margaret Kelly will be the guest on the Phile tomorrow. Now for some Disney...
Phact 1. Walt Disney gave his housekeeper Disney stocks each year for the holidays. She died a multi-millionaire.
Phact 2. All of the 90s Disney movies are from a period called the Disney Renaissance, which was considered to have started with The Little Mermaid, and ended with Tarzan, wherein Disney made $3.9 billion dollars worldwide.
Phact 3. A movie called Escape from Tomorrow was filmed in its entirety in Disney World, without Disney knowing about it. The actors read their scripts off of cell phones to keep themselves hidden.
Phact 4. When Disney first previewed the Abe Lincoln animatronic to the public, a valve ruptured during the show. This caused Lincoln to collapse and leak red hydraulic fluid, but it prompted the audience to believe Disney was re-creating his assassination.
Phact 5. The Disney Channel doesn’t accept any outside ads. The only commercials it airs are for its own shows and Disney products.
Today's pheatured guest is an American actress who has played many Native American characters in a variety of films. She is perhaps best known for her voice role as the title character in the 1995 animated film Pocahontas. Poca what? Haha. Please welcome to the Phile... Irene Bedard.
Me: Hey, Irene, welcome to the Phile. How are you doing?
Irene: I'm great, thanks for having me here, Jason.
Me: You're welcome. So, where are you from originally, Irene?
Irene: I was born and raised in Anchorage, Alaska.
Me: What was it like growing up there?
Irene: It maybe a little bit different than some others. I'm Inupiat, Yupik and my father was French-Canadian Cree. He was in the Air Force, and that's out he met my mother. My mother's full blooded Eskimo, and so I had a very eclectic childhood I would say. I grew up the same way most of the people in America did, I also had the influences of my culture and also my father's culture. He worked very diligently for the tribes up in Alaska for the rest of his life. We would often have meeting with different tribal leaders and members at my house. I would go out and have traditional foods with my mom's twin sister, then on the other hand I watched "Sesame Street."
Me: Were you into cartoons or animated features as a kid?
Irene: I was. I loved Disney and loved pretty much anything Jodi Foster did and Audrey Hepburn and all the classics like Katherine Hepburn. We had the same channels up there, just maybe a little bit later than everyone else did. I loved animation and I love Disney, and I am such a big kid because I still do.
Me: Ha. What TV shows did you watch, Irene?
Irene: I grew up watching the after school specials. As the oldest child and the oldest grandchild, I had younger brother and sisters and cousins so I continued to watch "Sesame Street" all the way up to my teenage years.
Me: Going from a Disney fan as a kid to a Disney Princess... what was that like?
Irene: Well, for first off the premiere for Pocahontas was in front of 110,000 people in Central Park. They had train box cars welded several stories high to make the screen. They had two big rock star sound systems and for a day I had to have a police escort to take me from my apartment in the East Village to take me to Central Park where it was. For a day it was all eyes on Pocahontas. LOL. I don't think there's anything that can prepare a person for that.
Me: Did any of your family get to go to the premiere?
Irene: They secretly flew my brothers from Alaska... my youngest brother was still in high school so my other brother had to get him out of school and they flew them first class and put them up in the Four Seasons and they surprised me at my front door. It was one of those moments in time I still think about to this day. They got to be there at the premiere and of course the screens were huge and I'm wearing this glittering Armani thing and little kids were coming up to me and I felt like Ghandi or something. It was overwhelming. My brothers got to sit down next to me and they kept elbowing me.
Me: That's crazy. What was your first film, Irene?
Irene: It was a Disney film called Squanto: A Warrior's Tale, it was about Thanksgiving and Squanto was at the first Thanksgiving. It was such a vast production. We had tall ships and Indian villages, England was betrayed and we filmed up in Nova Scotia, and we had to do all those things and be on the ocean. That was my first little step in thinking wow, I'm part of Disney. I'm part of this family now.
Me: You did another film around the same time, right?
Irene: Yes, after the Squanto film I went and filmed a TV movie for TNT that was produced by Jane Fonda called "Lakota Woman," and at one time I was on the set out in South Dakota I found out I got the role of Pocahontas.
Me: When you first went to a Disney theme park what was that like for you?
Irene: When I grew up they had on TV every Sunday the Disney night and they had Tinker Bell sprinkling her way across the castle. We all sat down as a family and watched it and here I was finding myself in Disneyland going in the castle. LOL.
Me: Ha. Did you audition for Pocahontas?
Irene: I did actually. One of the producers of "Lakota Woman," was one of the advisors of "Pocahontas." The casting director who casted me in "Lakota Woman" also helped me to get cast. I was on their radar but went down and met them in New York City and the directors Eric Goldberg and Mike Gabriel were there and we really just had a really great time at my audition. I have them hugs at the end and was jumping up and down and all happy. I then went off and filmed "Lakota Woman." I hadn't heard anything then all of a sudden there it was.
Me: I interviewed David Frankham who was Sir Tibs in 101 Dalmatians and he said it took a long time to record just his parts. How long dod it take you to record for Pocahontas and what was that like?
Irene: I did my first recording session in South Dakota. Someone had a script and we sort of did a scratch track recording just to see where we were at, what they needed to change and edit and move story lines around which we did that process for two and a half years. In between filming other things I'd go and record sessions with them.
Me: I saw Pocahontas when they showed it for Cast Members at the Magic Kingdom before it came out. So, why do you think or know why Disney chose to make a movie about Pocahontas?
Irene: I think her story has stuck around for so long because of her strength and because of the work that she did. In her very young life she worked with her people to create peace.
Me: Was it hard for you to do the voice, Irene, or did you just use your own voice?
Irene: I had to use my higher registers. Her voice is much higher and softer until she had to do a strong scene and throw herself upon John Smith to stop the war from happening.
Me: What was your inspiration for the role?
Irene: Pocahontas herself was the main inspiration. We did a lot of research and a lot of discussions. A lot of people historically probably don't know she was about 12 when she threw herself upon John Smith. I think that's so amazing because we all have the ability to be heroes or heroines, and all it is is that moment where we can stop and fear. We don't, we forge ahead and do what we think is right with our heart, what is right to save a life. We have people that are heroes and heroines today that often say they didn't know they had it until it came upon them. That's every day people.
Me: When the movie came out there was some backlash because it's so different from the true story. I mean, Pocahontas didn't have a pet raccoon I think. What were you thoughts on that being Native American yourself?
Irene: Well, because go all the research I have done on her life and what I knew of her we all knew this was a "telling" of her life, and that this telling was for people of all ages. In her life there were many hardships and many brave things that she did perhaps someone who was three or four didn't necessarily need to know that yet. What was important was that this story, the first Native American Disney Princess out there the whole entire world got to see and learn about. Teachers said, "Oh, wait a minute, I know this isn't the real story." So they went out and told the real story, they told the full story I should say. And so I say any form of communication is good and whether you agree or disagree it opens up communication, it opens up a form of discussion and I think that was somewhat expected but the same time I feel that we have come so far with portrayals of native people since then. But this was great huge introduction to a whole generation of people on the life of Pocahontas. I think that's a good thing.
Me: Do you think the portrayal of Native American people in film hasn't been that great?
Irene: I've known just in my travels throughout Indian country that there are so few portrayals and few positive portrayals over the decades since the inception of filmmaking. Even for me when I met Buffy Sainte-Marie when she was doing the Cradleboard Teaching Project, she asked me if I would participate and I had not met her yet. So, we went in and they did this presentation, she was up on the screen and there she was with Big Bird, then I met her and I burst into tears. I realized she was the only positive Native American female that I saw growing up. I realized for myself what that means and I think it's important that we get as many of these positive portrayals as we can.
Me: You were used as the physical model for Pocahontas as well. How did that work? Did they just record you as you did your lines?
Irene: Yeah, exactly. They filmed a lot of recording sessions, not all but a lot of the recording sessions were filmed. Then the animators would use that as fame by frame reference for expressions and gestures.
Me: What was it like coming back for the sequel Pocahontas II: Journey to the New World?
Irene: Well, it was a different set of directors and they primarily did that from Asia. It was kind of a long distance thing. It was a shorter amount of time recording so it was a completely different experience. We had a wonderful premiere opening in New York City on one of there tall ships there in the harbor but then it went straight to video.
Me: Cool. You are also gonna be in Wreck-It Ralph 2 as well, right?
Irene: Yeah, I thought it was going to be a straight to video or a Netflix movie but will be in the theaters.
Me: Legally, without getting in trouble with Disney can you say anything about it?
Irene: LOL. Well, let's just say the Disney Princesses join the fray. I was doing an appearance at a high school recently and a student asked me what I'm doing now. I mentioned some of the films I'm going to be in and said I'm also going to be in Wreck-It Ralph 2. They all gasped and I was like okay, I guess they are looking forward to that one.
Me: Did you ever go to see the grave of Pocahontas? I bet you cried if you did.
Irene: Yeah, when I was in England I got to go to the grave and got to say some prayers for her and thank her "in person." And I did cry.
Me: You have your own production company called SLWG, right? What is that about?
Irene: Sleeping Lady Films Waking Giants Productions as basically started trying to work on what I say good news from Indian country. More positive stories, I think we often get more portrayed with Indian ways downtrodden. We have definitely made our way through difficulties but also so many amazing positive things going on currently and in the past as well. I started that up in Alaska but unfortunately the state of Alaska got rid of their film tax incentive so it wasn't good business for me to keep it there so it's on hiatus at the moment, but I do have a couple of projects that I'm producing. They are coming up hopefully this year, we've got funding or another film that I can't really talk about yet.
Me: That's cool. Good luck with everything, Irene, and thanks for being on the first entry from Disney World. Can you leave us with something Pocahontas would say?
Irene: Good-bye is an easy word to say but try saying it to a friend.
Me: Awe. Sweet. Thanks, Irene. Take care.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Cadence Hall and of course Irene Bedard. The Phile will be back tomorrow again from Walt Disney World with Margaret Kerry. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker
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