Pheaturing Ali McManus

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? So, recently, Jessica and Steve Rold were picking up their 2-year-old son from daycare with their infant daughter in tow. Pretty standard. But then the daycare staff generously offered them some unsolicited parenting advice: they advised the Rolds to dress their daughter "more girly" for the benefit of the other children, so they could identify her as female. Huh? The couple addressed the situation in a humor-filled and creative way. The day after this interaction, Jessica dolled up their daughter as such...

Steve posted this image and the story that inspired it on r/daddit and fellow fathers contributed their stories of raising children in a gender-obsessed world. Someone pointed out that the whole blue/pink distinction is nonsense. So many people shared accounts of relatives trying to police their children's behavior on account of gender differences. Of course, their kids don't care... they just wanna have fun! Even their peers seem hung up on old-fashioned gender norms. Get with the times, daddy-o. Steve and Jessica handled the incident in a classy way... no call outs, no angry rants or rude Yelp! reviews. I commend their parenting skills. I'm also commend Jessica's dope illustration.
Last week, a group of black 12- and 13-year-old summer campers said they were asked to leave the Jenkinson's Aquarium Gift Shop in Point Pleasant Beach because they "didn't have a chaperone." When they returned with a chaperone, they were allegedly still asked to leave. The camp director, Attiyya Barrett, recorded the aftermath of the incident and shared the video on Facebook, where it has since gone viral. In the video, the woman who works at the Gift Shop is seen visibly laughing at the teens and their adult chaperone, who is heard calling her out. Barret writes...

When Barrett asks the store clerk why the girls couldn't stay with their chaperone, she responded, "I didn't think she was a chaperone. They're not welcome in here." Then she waved her hand dismissively. The group later told USA Today that there were also white children in the store unattended. After first suspending the manager pending "investigation," Jenkinson's announced on Sunday that she had been fired. "We strive to provide all of our customers with an enjoyable experience and we clearly missed the mark this time," the company's marketing director, Toby Wolf, said in a statement. "We sincerely apologize to the girls from the camp group for the way they felt upon leaving. We have been in contact with the group leader and will continue to work with her to make amends." Some people are protesting her firing on social media, claiming we "don't know the full story." Welp, some Internet sleuths did some digging after this story broke... and discovered a couple of Yelp reviews in which boardwalk patrons seem to complain about this exact woman treating them badly. Indeed, this is not the first complaint about the manager. Here's one from the Yelp page, from 2016: "Doing some investigating of my own, I learned that this woman was infamous all along the boardwalk for her rudeness. Her firing has 'been a long time coming,'" The chaperone thing is apparently a hard and fast rule for the gift shop. "She has never allowed groups of children to be in her store without a chaperone, regardless of race," the former boardwalk worker said. "So many people have complained about her through the years. This was probably just the final straw since it got so much attention." Racist or not, firing a customer service worker who has repeatedly offended and demeaned customers is just good business sense. There are many reasons not to be racist: but in 2018, finally, losing your job is (sometimes) one of them. Unless you're the President of the United States of course.
Is there anyone more beloved by the Internet than a scammer child?! If we're getting into technicalities, I'm sure there's someone, but currently the concept of a scammer child is just too crafty and ideal to imagine topping. Given the Internet's aptitude for clever kids and people who know how to scam, it's no surprise that Twitter immediately became obsessed with a 6-year-old girl named Kaitlin who hacked her mom's Amazon account. As detailed in this tweet by Kaitlin's cousin, the 6-year-old scammer managed to spend $400 of her mom's money on toys when she logged into Amazon.

Her mother didn't find out until the picture perfect moment of the delivery. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't allowed to keep her hard-hacked earnings. So, in lieu of keeping them, Kaitlin donated them to a local children's hospital. Despite being knocked off her throne of toys, the Internet still marveled at Kaitlin's skills. A handful of parents shared similar stories of children shopping in secret. Others went to town captioning the photographic moment of truth. This is truly a 2018 Norman Rockwell if I've ever seen one. Hopefully, in the future Kaitlin is able to put her savvy sneaking abilities to use for more noble aims. In the meantime, the Internet is truly blessed with this meme material.
Here we go... "Fox and Friends" friend Tomi Lahren continues to get paid to not know history or what words mean. Wednesday morning, the authority on all things millennial and feminism told the president's favorite show all about millennial feminism, arguing that the movement for equal rights is no longer about equal rights. According to Timmy Lemon, the reason why only 46% of millennial women identify as feminists is because: A) So-called "feminists" refuse to celebrate female Trump administration officials like child kidnapper Kirstjen Nielsen, B) It spends too much time on hats. Here's a part of her rant, "Because truth is, modern-day feminists have hijacked the term and have changed it into something that the original feminists would be horrified by, they'd be rolling in their graves if they saw what feminists have done with the movement. It's become less about equal treatment and equal rights and more about special treatment. It's become about man bashing and demanding free things and marching in the streets getting attention with hats and being anti-Trump."
Where did women get such a preposterous idea? (People in glass houses should not throw hats.) To Tony, feminism isn't about expecting special support because you're a woman... it's granting special support to people just because they're women! Many tweeters disagree with Tommy Logan's insistence that the feminist movement absolutely must support people like Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Homeland Security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen. Being a feminist isn't about particular genitalia, it's about supporting policies that enable women to thrive. The policy of separating children from their parents surprisingly didn't make the cut.
A woman in Sturovo, Slovakia was arrested for blasting the same four minute aria from Giuseppe Verdi's "La Traviata" for 16 straight years in what was a brutal musical neighborhood dispute. According to the Hungarian news site Parameter.sk, the woman once blasted opera to drown out a barking dog, and kept the music blaring for over a decade out of spite. The music played "from day until night," so likely when she was out of the house and it could nudge only her neighbors. "The whole street is suffering," a neighbor told the news about the forced Traviata marathon. The neighbor from Hell is facing charges of "harassment and malicious persecution." If she's convicted, she could face up to three years in jail. If only there was a genre of music that could speak to this truly dramatic situation.
Alright, instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Ummm... definitely not. How is your kid doing in school so far? Are they as creative as the kid that did this?

The tongue is in the right place. Haha. Sometimes I see a pic on the Internet and I think it's photoshopped and then surprised it's not. Like Cathie Jung who has a 15-inch waist from wearing corsets her entire life.

So, sometimes people have to really explain stupid things to adults...

Haha. So, a few weeks ago when Trump was in England Londoners sure had some clever anti-Trump signs...

Hahaha. Well done, people. You know Thanos from Infinity War, right? Well, originally he was supposed to have a different look...

Hahahaha. I like it. You know what makes me laugh? Old people wearing inappropriate t-shirts...

He looks like one as well, right? It's so hot out there I decided to hook you up with some deals that’ll help you stay cool from now until we get this ecological disaster sorted out. Relive the good ol’ days with this “Obama 2012” hand fan...

Now, you can stay cool like no-drama Obama with this one-of-a-kind hand fan featuring a picture of the 44th president, before he went gray. Pick it up on Amazon for $12. So, I said this before, the best thing about the Internet is you can look at porn for free and so easily. But the problem is if you're reading, say the Phile, and are getting bored you might go away and go look at porn instead. I thought I should show a porn pic here so you don't have to but then realized you might get in trouble if you're at work or school. So, I came up with a solution...

You're welcome. Hey, so, do you want to play a game?

So, who is is? Danzig or Sigourney Weaver? Hahaha. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, are you a child of the 90s? Well, there's this guy who is and loves to talk about the 90s. I was like, hmmm, I should have him on here and see what he says. So, please welcome to the Phile for the first time...

Me: Hi, Ed, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Ed: Hey, Jason, how's it bangin'?

Me: Ummm... it's not. So, what do you have to say today?

Ed: Do you like to text, homey?

Me: Sure, why?

Ed: Texting wasn't always easy. In my day you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an "S"? You better click that 7 button FOUR times, you know?

Me: Ummm... that's right, I guess.

Ed: See? Alright, homey, I have to bone out. Catch you later.

Me: Ed Enistink, the guy who lives in the 90s. That was so stupid. Sometimes these ideas sound great in my head when I create a character but when it comes down to it... ha. Moving on...

It's important to remember that we're all just little bumbling flesh bags struggling to get there (whatever that means).  

I think I understand that one. 

President Donald Trump loves pomp and pageantry, and by "pomp and pageantry" I mean "big-ass tanks and monster trucks." Even though America is currently fighting in two wars overseas (and has troops stationed basically everywhere), Trump directed the Department of Defense to set aside a few million dollars to stage a massive military parade, because if you can't beat North Korea, be North Korea! On Thursday, it was reported that the Pentagon was concerned with the parade's rising costs, which could be up to $92 million dollars. Rather than blame the people at the Pentagon (or himself for the stupid idea), Trump "canceled" the parade and claimed it's because of those greedy people running Washington, D.C. 

He continued...

First of all, it's not "the local politicians who run Washington, D.C.," unless you count the Pentagon as a local institution, Second, you love parades so much, you're going to abandon the troops on Veterans Day to go watch one in Paris? D.C.'s mayor, Muriel Bowser, responded with a wee bit of sarcasm.

At last, Bowser got through to the president whose golf trips have cost taxpayers millions. You had me at "the reality star in the White House." People are proud of the mayor's not so "sad!" response. 

There's still hope for the president. If he wants to see a big parade in D.C., he should go to the Women's March.

The 85th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Margaret Kerry will be on the Phile next Monday... a week from today.

Phact 1. On July 4th, 2012, San Diego had planned a 17-minute firework show but it lasted less than a minute when all the fireworks discharged simultaneously.

Phact 2. Despite being proven to cause Parkinson symptoms in farm workers rotenone is still used in organic farming.

Phact 3. Originally, Yoda was not in the film’s script. Yoda was added when George Lucas determined him best to properly confirm to Luke as to whether Vader was his father or not.

Phact 4. Elon Musk wanted Tesla’s Model line up to spell S-E-X: Model S, Model E, Model X. However, Ford owns the term Model E, so Tesla opted for Model 3 to spell S-3-X.

Phact 5. Bill Gates is offering $100,000 to the scientist, who creates the Next Generation condom that, “significantly preserves or enhances pleasure, in order to improve uptake and regular use.”

Today's pheatured guest is a singer/songwriter whose debut EP "Unbreakable" is available on iTunes,  Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Ali McManus.

Me: Hello, Ali, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Ali: I'm great, how are you?

Me: Not too bad I guess. Ali, where are you from?

Ali: Bloomfield Hills, but was born in Detroit. I just got back from L.A., I was there for three weeks. 

Me: Okay, cool. When I first heard your EP "Unbreakable" I thought I was listening to Stevie Nicks. When did you first realize you could sing?

Ali: That's wonderful for you to say that, thank you. I first realized I could sing when I got a solo in choir when I was 7 and no one in my family knew I could sing at that point. So, I just went in, got on stage and it was in front of a couple hundred people and I did my solo. After my family came up to me and they were in shock and in tears, and I was so little and wondered did I do that bad. It was kind of funny, it was actually joyful tears and ever since I saw I had that ability and had the ability to move people with music I never looked back and I kept doing it.

Me: Did you take vocal lessons growing up? You're 21-years-old now and I am guessing your voice changed since you were 7 obviously...

Ali: It changed a lot, of course. Yeah. I took lessons for four years and right now I'm taking a little bit of a break from lessons. I've been working more on guitar and piano but I'm still doing my morning warm ups and there. I actually took lessons here and there with a guy named Gary Catona, he's out of L.A. and he's very good. He rebuilt Muhammad Ali's voice when he couldn't talk. He's all about rebuilding and making his voice stronger.

Me: Your debut EP was produced by Jack Douglas who is a legendary producer and has worked with Aerosmith, John Lennon, Cheap Trick... and a lot more. How did you and he get to work together, Ali?

Ali: It's kind of crazy. I met my manager just by random, my mom wanted us to by tickets for her charity which is Dick Wagner Remember the Child fundraiser and we wanted to go to it. My mom called up for tickets. She was talking to one of the people and then I came up in the conversation somehow because the lady was very nice and it came up I was a songwriter and musician. Then one thing after another I was on the way to be in their video and I sang in it. That was her charity. Then I met Susan Michelson there and then I saw her in another event I went to. My mom left me for a minute, I'm not a shy person, I'm kind of blunt sometimes, so I went up to Susan and asked her point blank "would you ever consider managing me?" She was like, "I'll think about it." Then after a little while she said she would love too. That was how I got in touch with Jack Douglas, they've known each other for awhile, because he did manage Dick Wagner. So, I have her all my materials that I had... my songs, my videos, my lyrics, and she was going out to L.A. for a meeting or something. She met up with Jack and played him my stuff and he was impressed. The cool thing is though she didn't tell him at first that I was in a wheelchair, which was really cool for me. The most amazing thing he said when she did tell him was "I don't care at all. I see Ali as a musician and an artist first." That's all I want in life is for people to look at me like that. So, I just thought that was amazing.

Me: Your lyrics on your EP are very deep and powerful, Ali. Did you write them first or the music first?

Ali: Thank you. Actually I write the music first. Sometimes I don't have an inspiration for a song... but for those songs most of the time I would be playing and messing around on piano and I would just come up with something and loved it. When I came across something I really liked I would listen to the music and see what it would say to me in a way, and what I was feeling from the music, and it would bring inspiration to me. Some of the songs I don't know where the lyrics came from, it's like it kind of just happened in thirty minutes. Most of those songs I write in thirty minutes to an hour. It's crazy how it happened, it was like getting to me somehow.

Me: That's cool. Is it normal for you to write a song that quick?

Ali: Yeah, if it's past two hours I don't know.

Me: When I wrote songs it didn't take me long either. So, not only do you play piano, you also play guitar. How long did it take you to get used to or learn to play and sing, Ali? I imagine that's hard... 

Ali: I wasn't natural at that, I did piano first, I've been doing that for seven years. Guitar I'm newer at, I've been focusing more on that. Probably about four years I've been doing that, I'm pretty new at it. Probably because I've been playing piano I picked up the guitar quickly. Do you play guitar or piano, Jason?

Me: Nope. I play kazoo. Haha. Which do you play on stage?

Ali: I do both. With my originals like "I'm Breaking Free," or "Unbreakable" are all on piano, because I wrote them on piano. Usually the songs I play on guitar I wrote on guitar. I usually stick to that because it usually feels like the song I wrote.

Me: Are you planning on touring?

Ali: Yes!

Me: Ummm... okay. Haha. Are you planning anything in the works right now?

Ali: Yeah, I do. I have a few things coming up.

Me: When you were in L.A. did you do any shows?

Ali: I played in L.A. at the Mint, that was amazing. It was my first L.A. show.

Me: In March you did a show here in Orlando, right? How was that?

Ali: I did inspiration keynote speaking, I did that as well as my music. I put my songs in relation what I was saying to the audience. Was at the New Horizons Conference Expo.

Me: That's cool. What kind of stuff did you talk about?

Ali: Of course, it kind of relates to my CD "Unbreakable." My whole keynote relates to that, it's about how to stay unbreakable in any situation in your life. Everything in life changes and how you handle the change and how you get through it, is what I'm trying to say. Also it's really about being unbreakable with the challenged you can go through in your life.

Me: Ali, that's so cool. You're a strong person, my dear. Thanks for being on the Phile. I wish you continued success. Take care, and please come back on the Phile again soon.

Ali: Thank you, Jason, this was fun.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Ali McManus for a good interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday from Walt Disney World with Irene Bedard, who voiced Pocahontas in Disney's Pocahontas. Poca what? Haha. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker