Monday, October 24, 2016

Pheaturing Shook Twins

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Let's start off with a story about
Eric Trump having no idea he got trolled by a t-shirt. Eric Trump has no basic understanding of Spanish, even when words are similar to English. Sad! Annie and Ceci Ardelle, two sisters in Salisbury, North Carolina, masterfully trolled Eric Trump at a rally in their hometown. The Ardelles are second-generation Americans of Cuban descent, and went to protest the most vampire-y Trump's campaign stop in a subtle and smooth way. Annie took a Sharpie to a white shirt and wrote "Latinas contra Trump," which translates to "Latinas against Trump." Eric's obliviousness is particularly hilarious because contra is a word that's used in English too, and anyone who reads the Latin alphabet could maybe infer that "con" is bad, as in "pros and cons." This isn't the first time this election cycle that political figures have been caught not reading big letters on t-shirts. Last September, Jeb! Bush ('member him?!) smiled with a group of kids in "Republicans for Sanders" shirts. There's no excuse for that one, Jebbie.
Sudbury, Ontario's Sainte-Anne-des-Pins Catholic Church is no stranger to vandalism, and their statue of baby Jesus has had its head knocked off more than once. About a year ago, however, the head went missing altogether, according to Father Gérard Lajeunesse. "I'm hoping it wasn't done out of malice," he told It might be somebody took on a challenge or whatever and the head fell off, and what do you do with this? A lot of things happen around here." Whatever the case, local artist Heather Wise soon noticed the incomplete sculpture and offered to fashion a replacement. Her attempt, rendered in clay, was... well, let's say "non-traditional."

Intended to be a placeholder until Wise could carve a head out of stone (a material she said she'd never worked with before), the temporary restoration drew some rather blistering reviews. Some critics compared the spiked creation to the infamously botched 2012 restoration of Ecce Homo, a Spanish fresco depicting Jesus with the crown of thorns, by an elderly amateur artist. That, too, went viral when unveiled. Probably for the best, since the viral buzz led to someone returning baby Jesus' original head, which was reattached and presented to parishioners at mass on yesterday. Replacing the statue altogether could have cost up to $10,000, so yeah, Father Gérard is pretty stoked. "It's a happy ending to pretty crazy week, it just goes to show that sometimes the internet works in your favor," the relieved priest said. Or, to put it more religiously: the Internet works in mysterious ways.
Quick note to all you dudes out there, because apparently there's been some confusion... Typically, a visit to the men's room shouldn't entail pissing all over the floor. Nor should it include clogging the toilet with paper towels, failing to throw garbage in the... what's that called?... oh yeah, garbage can, or doing anything that little note taped to the mirror politely asks you not to. But since you just can't seem to behave like halfway sanitary human beings in a bathroom you don't have to clean, janitors have to get creative. Like this one...

That little "thank you" at the end? Perfect. Guess manners aren't dead after all.
A Wisconsin resident named Chelsea Ferguson smeared peanut butter on 30 cars she thought belonged to Trump supporters as a dumb form of protest against the Republican nominee, according to The Huffington Post. Ferguson, who was intoxicated at the time of the incident, apparently mistook parked cars belonging to the members of the Tomorrow River Conservation Club as cars belonging to Trump supporters at a Trump rally. How she mixed those two things up, nobody knows. According to the police report, Ferguson entered the Conservation Club meeting yelling about her dislike for Trump. When club members requested she leave before they call law enforcement, and she complied with their requests. That is when she headed to her car and grabbed a family-size jar of low-sodium creamy natural Jif peanut butter and began drawing offensive symbols on the parked vehicles. Soon after, a witness called the cops. If only we had a recording of that 911 call. Officers took the Jif jar found in Ferguson’s apartment as evidence. Ferguson is now free on bail.
If you are planning on dressing up as Eleven from the Netflix hit "Stranger Things" this Halloween, you are definitely not alone. Clothing retailer Lyst conducted an analysis of it most popular searches, and found that people have been clamoring for pink Peter Pan-collared dresses and dark blue bomber jackets. Pair that with a shake-and-go blonde wing and your old gross sneakers and voilà! You got yourself a Halloween costume. This dress and this jacket in particular have been popular (the jacket has already seen 89% more views than last month), and though the whole ensemble might cost you a bit more than you may want to spend on a costume, you can wear these pieces long after you finish eating your Halloween candy. Lyst also claims that blouses reminiscent of the character Barb have been popular, with pussy bow blouses seeing a 42% bump compared to this time last month. Over 3,000 people have also searched for "ruffled gingham shirts." Eleven's outfit is actually of the perfect Halloween costume. It looks warm enough for a chilly fall night, comfortable enough to take your kids trick-or-treating in (sneakers!!), and it's a little spooky as well.
Speaking of Halloween and costumes, Halloween is exactly one week away and there's some costumes I am tired of seeing already. Like the AirBuds...

This is a topical costume for besties. Must avoid. You only have a week to put your kid's costumes together, parents. I have a hint for you... How about a ghost.

Locate a white sheet. Cut holes for eyes (or not). Throw over child. It's perfect for anyone who can barely hold a pair of scissors and won't realize they have nothing planned until the day before Halloween. I'll even give you one more bit of advice... a mummy. Wrap toilet paper around child until child is not visible. You're welcome. All my life people have made fun of my last name... Peverett. Calling me pervert most of the time. But at least I don't have another name that is a lot worse...

Hahaha. This year is the 10th anniversary year of the Phile and once in awhile I like to show you a picture of someone reading this blog. Like this lady for instance...

She either liked it or hated it. Hey, did you see Hillary Clinton's impression of Monica Lewinsky?

Donald Trump also has his own stupid human trick.

Do you kids play Magic: The Gathering? I have never played. Anyway, there's a new Trump card for the game now.

See? I mentioned the story about the Jesus head, right. Well, when I saw it I thought to myself where did I see it before? Then it hit me.

Hahahahaha. This year for Halloween there's not only jack-o-lanterns that people have made, but Trumpkins. What is a Trumpkin you ask?

That is. I like the hair on it. Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Startling Similarities And Differences Between New Caramel M&Ms, Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton
5. Despite hard shell, is quite sweet in the center.
4. Contains Orange Dye #7.
3. Understands proper State Department email protocol.
2. Can be found in the pocket of Wall Street bankers.
And the number one difference between new caramel M&Ms, Trump and Clinton is...
1. Wholeheartedly endorsed by Chris Christie.

If you spit this Mindphuck let me know. Well, with all this scary clown business going on, a good friend of the Phile has something to say about it. He's a patriot, singer and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

It has recently come to my attention that pranksters have taken to suburban streets dressed like scary clowns and are chasing people in order to freak them out and possibly become YouTube sensations. Now, I understand that you're bored and crave attention... but a few words of advice. It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt... and by somebody, I mean YOU. You see... my twisted little meatpuppets, although it may have seemed like a cool idea at first for you to freak people out, you run the risk of running into someone like ME... someone who becomes un-hinged around clowns and has an extremely violent nature about him... someone who carries a gun... someone who would shoot you through your left eye with a .45 in a split second of amped up fear and rage. So... you see, my little red nosed cunts.... you may want to find yourself another source of amusement. Because the way I see it.... it's Clown Hunting Season.

Magic: The Gathering
Magic: The Gathering is a popular trading card game for people whom life dealt a -5/-5 attractiveness spell.

Tom Hayden 
December 11th, 1939 — October 23rd, 2016
Vietnam activist, married Jane Fonda. Anybody got anything? Yeah... me neither. So long, hippie.

Today's pheatured guests are a singer-songwriter duo whose albums "You Can Have the Rest," "Window," and "What We Do" are available on iTunes. Their latest single "Call Me Out" is also now available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Katelyn and Laurie... the Shook Twins.

Me: Hello, girls, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Katelyn: Great! we just cleaned our tour van!

Me: Okay, I have to ask you, whose idea was to be a musician first? Or did you both know that's what you wanted to do growing up?

Laurie: Well, we never actually dreamed of doing this music thing growing up. We actually both wanted to be teachers (just like our folks) and run a zoo during the summers (because as you know, exotic animals don't need any care during the rest of the year!) But once we started learning to play guitars when we were 18, and playing gigs at 20, we realized that this could really be something to pursue.

Me: You both play different instruments then each other, am I right? And you girls play a lot of instruments. What do you play and how did you choose what instruments to learn?

Katelyn: We both started with guitar. Then we bought a banjo about 5 years ago and both started fiddling around on it, but Laurie just really resonated with it and it came so easily for her that she kept with it. And eventually she started picking up the djembe and looping and within this last year, she learned to play the upright bass! So with Laurie looking so impressive with all these instruments...

Laurie: Katelyn felt the pressure to learn another so she wouldn't look so useless! She was given a mandolin from a family friend and learned some basic chords, and soon she was playing it on stage. And also, we wrote a song that was in desperate need of a glockenspiel so she picked that up too!

Me: Who does most of the songwriting?

Laurie: We always write our songs together, however Katelyn writes most of the lyrics.

Katelyn: I come up with the music side mostly.

Me: I have to hand it to all siblings that work together, and I interviewed a lot. I could never work with any of my sister's. I am taking you both get along pretty good, right?

Laurie: Yes, we do. It's a very unique relationship that's hard to compare to anything else. But we work very well together and always make sure everything is equal. Like if one twin has been doing a lot of business duties, the other one picks up the slack by working extra hard the next week. And in that way it's very nice because it's like working half the time and still getting everything done!

Me: Where are you girls from?

Laurie: We were born and raised in a small town in North Idaho called Sandpoint.

Me: Your parents must be very proud of both of you. Have they always been supportive? It's one thing having one daughter that is talented, let alone two.

Katelyn: Aww, that's nice of you to say! Yes, ma and pa Shook have always been very supportive. So supportive that they housed us and our entire band (plus a few significant others) in their home in Sandpoint for 4 years after we graduated college! It would be very tough to be an emerging musician without a supportive family, because you don't make much of anything at first and you need some money to start out with to get equipment and an album recorded.

Me: Do you have any other siblings? If so, are they talented as well?

Laurie: We have one emotionally adopted big sister who is a very talented artist and she is now the art teacher at Sandpoint High School, which is our father's old job!

Me: Do you both have the same taste in music?

Laurie: Yes, exactly the same.

Me: Okay, let's talk about your music. I downloaded all your music from iTunes and loved it all. I love the song "Windows" from that album. How did it get to be the album title?

Katelyn: Well, it started out just being the song title because of the lyric, "If I only had a window to the 60s." But as we were recording this album with so many great friends, we realized that the album is like a window into our past; jamming on these songs with different musicians at various after parties and weekend get-aways. So it could sort of be classified as a concept album in that way.

Me: You recorded with a guy named The Bucky Walters. Who is he and I like he has The in front of his name.

Laurie: Ha ha ha, well, actually The Bucky Walters is a bluegrass band from Arcata California! They are great friends of ours and they played a part in the past jams of these songs like I said before, so we got them to play on the album to recreate those magical moments in a studio so that they can be captured professionally and heard forever! We also featured the girls from the band Elephant Revival on the album; Bridget Law on Fiddle and Bonnie Paine on Washboard and some vocal harmonies. We absolute love playing music with those girls!

Me: There's so many great songs on your albums, girls. I have to ask you about "Pink and Purple" though. iTunes has he song listed as explicit, but I cannot figure out why. What word are they talking about?

Katelyn: Well, I guess it's quiet enough that you can't hear it! We say,"shit" in that song but it's spoken in the background right after the verse about "sometimes I get distracted." We just wanted to be safe so no one played in on the radio or anything!

Me: Your new single "Call Me Out" you also say "shit." That one I picked out. Your music in the past has been very acoustic oriented but this new single is slightly different.

Katelyn: We've been incorporating electronic sounds live for a while, but this is the first time fully committing to an electro indie-folk production on a track. It's nerve racking throwing something new at your fans, but I think it's a good blend of the new and old us.

Me: I cannot pick what song I like best. Do you guys have a favorite?

Laurie: We like "Time To Swim," "Window" and "Long Time" the best.

Me: I noticed in a few pictures of a giant golden egg that seems to be autographed. Here's a picture of one of you holding it...

Me: Man, I have tons of questions about this. What's the deal with the egg and who autographed it?

Katelyn: The Golden Egg has become sort of our "symbol" (since we came from one egg!). Laurie met a guy outside of a bar in Seattle that had it under his arm and she convinced him to give it to her! Then she took it home and spent hours and hours filling it with popcorn kernels so now it's a giant egg shaker which she actually plays in one of our songs! The original rule that we were given from the Seattle man was that you're supposed to sign it and pass it on. But he never said a time frame of how long you could keep it or who could sign it, so we're going to keep it for as long as it wants to fulfill its purpose on stage, and various people have signed it!

Me: You asked him for his egg, Laurie? Tell us this story.

Laurie: It was June 3rd 2010 in Seattle, outside Nuemos after a hockey/the band concert. I noticed a young man chillin' on the sidewalk with a giant golden egg under his arm. When I inquired about it, he replied, "Some lady gave it to me and told me to sign it and then pass it on to someone to do the same." I immediately was drawn to the beauty, signed it and took it on as my new friend. I thought about passing it along several times, but was never ready. I decided instead to turn it into a giant egg shaker by putting popcorn in it, then turned it into a drum by sticking a small mic on it! The whole band loves this egg so, and have always wondered about its journey before it was brightening our lives! My wish was for the person who started the egg to find me and tell me its tale! My wish came true... After we played the Tractor Tavern in Seattle on April 5th, we got a very exciting email from a Kipp A. Gallagher. He told us that he and his 3 friends, Clara Ganey, and Katie Farden, Katy Heinz, were the wonderful people who started the passing of the egg. How they got the egg is the magical part! It was May 5th 2008 when the four friends went to Dicks Burgers on Capitol Hill. As they were leaving and Katy and Kipp were waiting outside the bathroom, a very tall "Hipster Mad Hatter" esque man approached them with the egg under his arm. When they inquired about it, he told them that it is a magical egg and that it grants wishes! He then gave them the egg and told the two of them to close their eyes and make a wish. As they wished, he embraced them with the egg in the middle of them all and told them to focus harder. When they opened their eyes, the Hipster Mad Hatter was gone and they had the egg in their hands. It grants wishes indeed, Kipp's wish was to be able to keep the egg! The four friends kept the egg for 2 years, loving it as a family member. When they were graduating college, they decided to let the egg go as not just one of them could take it. They returned to Dick's and passed the egg to a sailor in the same way they had received it. Then it was passed to me and it has again granted a wish... To find the people who started this egg! LONG LIVE THE GOLDEN EGG!!!!!

Me: What a crazy story. And you girls have a phone on stage? It ties in with the new single I am guessing. You actually use the phone to get a sound. How do you hook it up?

Laurie: Yes! Katelyn found this DIY telephone microphone on Craigslist for $20, and it's the best thing that she ever bought! Someone turned it into a microphone and put a quarter inch jack on it so it can plug right into a P.A. system. It gives her voice a cool slightly distorted, radio voice effect!

Me: I saw White Horse open for Barenaked Ladies and they did the same thing. One of your songs there's beat boxing. Which one of you two does that and what other singing talents do you have?

Katelyn: Laurie is the beat boxer.

Laurie: And Katelyn can sing opera!

Me: You girls also sing a cappella. Do you girls like singing a cappella or do you prefer using instruments?

Laurie: For short and sweet songs, that are so simple that instruments would just get in the way, we prefer a cappella. But that's rare when a song can be so minimal.

Me: Girls, thanks so much for being here on the Phile and I hope you can come back when your next album comes out. Go ahead and mention your website and anything else you wanna. Continued success and take care.

Laurie: Thanks for such great questions!

Katelyn: Our website is

Me: Fantastic. Please come back on the Phile again soon. All the best.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and Shook Twins. The Phile will be back Thursday with Matt Steckler from the jazz band Dead Cat Bounce. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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