Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Let's start with a story about a foul-mouthed judge, shall we? Her Honour Judge Patricia Lynch QC, a judge previously made famous for telling a flasher "no one wants to see your penis," is at it again. This time, she called a racist idiot "a bit of a cunt." The defendant, 50-year-old John Hennigan, was in Chelmsford crown court for his 9th breach of anti-social behavior for using racist language against a black woman and her two children. After Lynch gave him 18 months, he called her honor "a bit of a cunt." Judge Lynch replied, “You are a bit of a cunt yourself.” He then told her to “go fuck yourself,” so Lynch replied, “you too.” Can judges do that? British people can send their racists to jail?
Caroline Malatesta and her husband J.T. were just awarded $16 million in a lawsuit filed in 2014 against Birmingham, AL's Brookwood Baptist Medical Center. The couple say the hospital staff interfered with their natural childbirth plan when one of the nurses tried to push the crowning baby back into Malatesta's vagina. Pretty much the exact opposite of "natural." The Malatestas chose Brookwood for the birth of their fourth child because the facility claimed that it promoted natural childbirth, promising birth tubs and wireless fetal monitoring. But when the time came, Malatesta's doctor was nowhere to be found. Instead, nurses forced her onto her back while one tried to keep the baby from being born until the doctor arrived by literally pushing it back inside her. COME ON NOW. As a result, Malatesta suffers from a painful condition called pudendal neuralgia. She claims the hospital never gave her a satisfactory explanation for the whole ordeal. She told AL.com, "I had tried everything within my power to understand what happened from Brookwood's perspective and get answers. Unfortunately I felt like I didn't get any real answers. And they eventually just shut me out. That was when I realized the only option was litigation."
On Wednesday, a man in Rogue River, Oregon, opened a porta potty in a public park and discovered a monster stash of marijuana plants. There's lots of sticky and icky things you can find in a porta potty, but this was the biggest stash of sticky-icky that the Rogue River police have ever seen. Oregon is one of four states where recreational marijuana is legal, and legal adults are permitted to grow their own plants. The police think the plants may have been ripped out by a disgruntled neighbor, or someone that's not fond of its new legality in Oregon. The plants did not have any buds, so they could not be used to smoke. Instead, they got shredded. If a disgruntled person put this in a porty potty near a park to alarm the neighborhood, it failed. Because the Rogue River police seem to think it's pretty funny: they referred to the case on Facebook as "The Fresh Connection."
If you're a new mom, you might be wondering if there's a fashionable way to preserve the precious memories of breastfeeding your tiny newborn baby. Well, now you can turn your breast milk into fun, wearable accessories. No, I'm not kidding. Ann Marie Sharoupium, an entrepreneur from New Jersey, has started a company Mamma's Liquid Love. Women can send Ann Marie some of their actual breast milk, and she'll use it to create jewelry they can wear. This is taking personalized jewelry to a whole new level. While the jewelry is lovely, it's understandable that some people might not be so keen on the idea of wearing their own "liquid." But for those who want to remember their nursing days with something more tangible than a photo, wearing a pendant full of your own breast milk around your neck is certainly one way to go.
Trigger Warning: Experts predict a major shortage in champagne is on the horizon. I hope you didn't break anything in the process of receiving this news. Before you start hyperventilating, here's why: A late season frost caused a 70 percent loss of crop for some growers. And hail storms late in the season hurt some growers, followed by mildew. They must be prepared, you responded to the bad news? Yes and no. Many suppliers have a reserve for situations like this, but it'll impact quantifies to protect against future unforeseen setbacks. It's so bad that experts say this is the worst it's been since the 1980s, and this season is the toughest it's been for crop growers since 1956. So much for those champagne baths. Maybe switch to Miller High Life. Some people call it the champagne of beers. I like it myself.
So, are you kids watching the Olympics? I saw the Iranian team and they look a little different from the Iranian team in 1966. At least the women do. Here's the two teams in the two different years... '66 and this year, and see if you can see what I'm getting at.
And this is this years...
'Nuff said. Another big change in the Olympics are this... Joseph met Michael Phelps in the 2008 Olympics.
Then this year Joseph beat Phelps at the Olympics. Ha!
Speaking of Trump...
Hahaha. So, I love kid's drawings, especially when the drawings don't come across so innocently.
They're not boobs, it's a Minions shirt. And Minions look like boobs. So, are you kids playing "Pokémon Go"? I have been showing you that doe people are not just playing, they are cashing in on the game. Like this pastor who promises healing potions AND eternal life.
So, it's summer and all through summer I have been showing you pics of girls in bikini's with something not quite as sexy in the background. Like this...
Innuendo was also tagged in this photo. So, my son and I were talking how we used to watch "Sesame Street" back when he was little and how the show is probably not the way we remember it. Man, I could never figure out how to set up this pheature. Haha. Anyway, here's...
While kissing Kami, Whoopi bites both of their lips and infects Kami with HIV-filled blood, then whispers into her ear, "Enjoy the legacy of my race."
If you can spot the Mindphuck let me know. And now for...
Ronald Reagan... the blessed angel of the Republican party, the mention of whose name fills the GOP with joy and pride and patriotism... supported gun control. Because he was shot. By an attempted assassin. His daughter, Patti Davis, has published an open letter to Donald Trump, her father's party's nominee, addressing his insinuation that "Second Amendment people" could stop Hillary Clinton. Her father having been shot by a "Second Amendment person," the Jodie Foster-obsessed John Hinckley Jr., Davis had something to say to Trump about the power of words. Addressed directly at Donald Trump, she writes, "I am the daughter of a man who was shot by someone who got his inspiration from a movie, someone who believed if he killed the President the actress from that movie would notice him." While the Trump campaign insisted that the "Second Amendment people" comment referred to "the power of unification" rather than the power of firearms, Davis pointed out that these words were heard by people capable of all sorts of interpretations. "It was heard by the person sitting alone in a room, locked in his own dark fantasies, who sees unbridled violence as a way to make his mark in the world, and is just looking for ideas. Yes, Mr. Trump, words matter," she writes. The Gipper would not want him to win this one.
The 51st book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
I said yesterday that Brian will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks but he'll actually will be the guest on the Phile next Sunday.
Today's guest is the lead singer in the band DEIDRE & the Dark whose new single "Boss Lady" and her EP "Curious Parcel" are available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... DEIDRE.
Me: Hello, DEIDRE, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
DEIDRE: I am just fine, thank you.
Me: Did I get it right, your name is spelt with all caps?
DEIDRE: For now, yes.
Me: Not only are you a solo artist, you are also in three bands, right? Savior Adore and French Horn Rebellion... two of those bands have some kinda French in the names, are you from France?
DEIDRE: I am sadly not from France, but I do enjoy most things French. And, for some reason, quite a few people have told me I look French.
Me: You do, I have to admit. Where do you live now, DEIDRE?
DEIDRE: I live in Brooklyn.
Me: So, what do you like best, being in the bands or being a solo artist?
DEIDRE: It's a very difficult question to answer because I feel that I am always a solo artist, and that helps my contributions to other projects. By focusing and defining your individuality... your likes, dislikes, tendencies, etc... you can consciously bring an interesting perspective to collaborations. And collaborations are what push you to do new things. Even this "solo" project is a collaboration... my husband David Perlick-Molinari (from French Horn Rebellion) co-wrote a few of the songs, as well as produced the whole EP with me. So... it is a very difficult question that I can't answer.
Me: I downloaded from iTunes Savior Adore's music and your new EP "Curious Parcel" and your new single "Boss Lady" How do you compare them all?
DEIDRE: They are like two pretty different recipes made from similar ingredients. One is a steak, and the other is a bacon cheeseburger. Some people will think both are yummy, some people will prefer one over the other, and some people are so hungry they just don't care.
Me: Your music sound is very retro. Are you a fan of music from the 60s?
DEIDRE: Oh, can you tell? Sorry... that wasn't intended to sound snarky. But yes... one of my favorite eras. It crept through a lot in this collection of songs. I love recordings by the Zombies, France Gall, Tom Jones, the Beach Boys, Joe Meek... I could go on.
Me: What do you think of singers like Adele, Duffy and even the late Amy Winehouse who has that throw back style?
DEIDRE: I'm ecstatic that the style still resonates within popular culture... But I always crave more experimenting and playing with it. Beck is an artist that I think has done some amazing things throughout his career with acknowledging the past but blatantly keeping it in the present.
Me: Who is in Savior Adore with you and do they play on your solo EP?
DEIDRE: Paul Hammer is the other half of Savoir Adore, and he plays drums on a few of the EP tracks, as well as plays bass with me live. Tim McCoy is Savoir Adore's drummer, and he drums with me live. Gary Atturio is Savoir Adore's bass player, and he has done live sound for me. Family sticks together!
Me: There's a story behind the EP's title, right? Can you share it with the readers of the Phile?
DEIDRE: Absolutely. In August of 2010, I found a package on my doorstep, severely weathered, and covered in forwarded addresses ranging from New Orleans to Berlin, dated from 1905 to 1966. The National Security Agency deemed the package a "curious parcel" and has urged me to voluntarily hand over the object to them for investigation. But in an act almost as mysterious as the parcel itself, I decided to take the secrets within it and share them with the world. Curating and hosting conceptual parties at Brooklyn's Zebulon, I began to harness her storytelling skills, finding a way to share the mysteries I learned. Myself and producer David Perlick-Molinari have captured that energy on this collection of recordings, with much more on the way. A limited edition of "Curious Parcel" has been pressed whereI will share my findings.
Me: It would make a good play or film, DEIDRE. Did you think about that ever? Or did I just give you the greatest idea ever?
DEIDRE: Absolutely! A big part of my goal with this project is to nudge boundaries associated with bands and musicians. Some of the events we've curated have been quite theatrical, walking a thin tightrope between rock show and musical theater, with gusts of audience participation. I'm definitely into expanding the idea to other mediums!
Me: I have you that video for "Classic Girl" was very good. Did you come up with the idea with all the dancing yourself, DEIDRE?
DEIDRE: Yes, I choreographed it with the help of my friends. I created the Ladies' Recreational Dance Auxiliary as another way to incorporate more varied elements to our performances... choreographed dance never really fails to surprise people.
Me: And I love the video for "Boss Lady." So many DEIDRE's. Haha.
DEIDRE: Thank you. Some of the biggest challenges we will ever face are the internal battles within our own mind.
Me: So, what's next for you? A full length album I hope or new Savior Adore album? Whatever you come out with, can you come back on the Phile? Please!
DEIDRE: Let's see... what's next... Well, David & I are continuing to work on recordings, and we will probably do another EP before a full-length. Our goal is to continue putting new music out into the ether, and building the events we curate, so that when we are ready to release a full-length, people will actually want it! The "Boss Lady" EP is now available to pre-order on iTunes featuring a bunch of great remixes. On the Savoir Adore front, we are finishing a new album this fall, hopefully to be released early next year. And of course I'll come back!!
Me: Thanks for being here, you are cute and very talented, DEIDRE. Go ahead and plug your website and anything else you want. And come to Orlando to play. All the best, and I hope this was fun.
DEIDRE: Thank YOU! This was a comprehensive interview. Sign up for the mailing list on deidremusic.com to get new music as we put it out, and to find out about our special events we are always planning.
That about does to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to DEIDRE for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday with author Brian Watson. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let alligators and snakes bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker