Pheaturing Brian Watson

Hey kids, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? Well, if 2016 has taught us anything, it's that you can get away with pretty much anything if you flap your arms in water good. There's always drama at the Olympics, but usually it's during the events. The biggest news coming out of this year's Games is happening after the athletes involved have already finished competing. American swimmers Ryan Lochte, Gunnar Bentz, James Feigen, and Jack Conger found themselves in hot water after lying about getting robbed in Rio. #LochteGate has it all: mystery, international intrigue, hunks, and pee. Lots of pee. Fot those that didnt follow the story, let me explain. Okay, so here's how it all started: On Sunday, four U.S. Olympic swimmers, Ryan Lochte, Jimmy Feigen, Jack Conger, and Gunnar Bentz, said they were pulled from a taxi in Rio and robbed at gunpoint by men pretending to be Brazilian police. Lochte told Billy Bush one of the robbers held a loaded gun right to his head and demanded money. He wouldn't lie to Billy Bush, right? Right? Yep, that son of a "b" lied to sweet trusting little Billy Bush. On August 18th, ABC broke the news that Lochte's whole dramatic tale was made up. He and his buddies were actually drunk, destroying property, and fighting with security at a gas station. Now this starts getting good. According to the owner of the Barra da Tijuca gas station, Lochte, Bentz, Feigen, and Conger took a sweet whiz all over his station's walls. Besides destroying property, he said the group of rowdy swimmers were asked to use the bathroom at the gas station, but instead drained their main veins on the wall. "We even have images of one of the athlete's butts, as he is pulling up his pants," the owner said. The only CCTV video that has been released so far is by ABC News, and it definitely shows the swimmers at the gas station. Lochte made it back to the U.S. on Wednesday, but pals Jack Conger and Gunnar Bentz were pulled off of their flight from Rio de Janeiro and had their passports seized, officially turning this shit-storm into a diplomatic matter. The U.S. committee told CNN that Brazilian authorities had removed the swimmers from the plane Wednesday night for questioning about the so-called "robbery." Not surprisingly, the Pee-Boyz got themselves some legal council. Jeff Ostrow, an attorney for Lochte, made a statement saying the four swimmers' accounts "are 95 percent consistent." United States Olympic Committee spokesman Patrick Sandusky said Lochte and his teammates "are cooperating with authorities and in the process of scheduling a time and place to provide further statements to the Brazilian authorities.""All are represented by counsel and being appropriately supported by the USOC and the U.S. Consulate in Rio," he added. Stay tuned as this story continues to develop.
Meanwhile, in Egypt, the government directly hires reporters and controls the news. This week, they kicked eight female reporters off TV because they're "too fat." As reported by the BBC, the broadcasters were given one month to lose weight and achieve an "appropriate appearance." Obviously TV presenters all over the world are hired based on their appearance, but damn, what do the male anchors in Egypt look like? You're probably thinking there's a bunch of men smoking cigars in the boardroom and throwing around words like "cankles." But surprisingly, the decision was actually approved by a woman named Safaa Hegazy, who is a former state TV anchor herself and the current director of the Egyptian Radio and Television Union (ERTU). Clearly, she drank the sugar-free Kool-Aid. Apparently, the women have been given one month to slim down before they can appear on air again, which seems more like an insult than a serious effort to get these women to lose weight. Are they asking them to crash diet or just spend a month thinking about how fat they are? Critics cite that not only does this move goes against their constitution, it contributes to the commodification of women and, even worse, is "a form of violence against women."Despite being given the month off with pay, the broadcasters are justifiably pissed. Beyond being reduced to their body size, they've been humiliatingly singled out by name. One broadcaster, Khadija Khattab, asked viewers to watch her most recent appearance presenting news on Egypt's Channel 2 to decide for themselves if she is really "fat." Brave, brave soul.
On August 18th, the anarchist art collective INDECLINE put naked, testicle-free statues of presidential candidate Donald J. Trump in public spaces around New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Cleveland, and Seattle. The fun part about the project, titled "The Emperor Has No Balls," was that the artist portrayed Trump with a really tiny ding-dong, a hypothesis which has been speculated by Sen. Marco Rubio.The New York statue, placed in the East Village's Union Square, was up for two hours before being painstakingly removed by the city's Parks Department—the statue had been glued in place. But after the statue was removed, the Parks Department still got in one last dig in at Trump with this subtle press release, presented here in its entirety...

De Blasio's New York!
Here's something nice that the Internet did! Strangers online came through for Cami, a little girl with autism who needed a replica of her favorite shirt. Cami is fixated on her pink flower shirt. She loves it so much that she wore it out, so her mom enlisted the help of the Internet to find another one. On August 7th, Deborah Grimshaw Skouson took to Facebook to see if anyone had an extra of that particular shirt... in any size... to add to her daughter's collection. "She got her first one in kindergarten five years ago, and we have found four more since then, mostly on eBay. Her current one is almost unwearable, and eBay has gone dry,” Skouson wrote. "This is where you come in. We need another ‘pink flower shirt.’" The post has since gone viral. Over 4,000 people have shared it, and within a week, Cami received 78 (78!!!) replacement shirts. People have been putting in a lot of effort to help the family. "Fox 2" reported that a few friendly people even went so far as to contact Target (where the shirt was first purchased) on behalf of the family. “Cami adores this shirt, and it brings her a lot of comfort and security, which is sometimes hard for her to come by in her chaotic little world,” her mom shared. “I am so grateful for the kindness that my daughter has been shown,” she said. “People are inherently good and kind, and I’m glad I’ve been able to be a recipient of that kindness.”
I have to talk about a good Olympic story... Danell Leyva wasn't even supposed to compete on the U.S. men's gymnastics team in Rio, but he's walking away with two silver medals. Leyva was originally listed as an alternate when the Olympic team was announced in late June. Unfortunately, John Orozco, a gymnast who had earned one of the five spots on the team, suffered an injury to his left knee in July and could no longer compete in Rio. Leyva was called upon to take his place. Leyva definitely made the most of his second chance. At Tuesday's event finals, he won silver medals in both the parallel bars and the high bar. Pretty awesome for someone who, up until a month ago, didn't even think he'd be competing. Leyva told NBC, "Things didn't happen the way I expected, and it was unfortunate the way I was named onto this team. But that's what this medal is for... to show that I deserved to be on that team just as much as John did. And this is for him just as much as it's for me." Congrats, Danell!
So, I was watching CNN the other day and I saws story I was kinda surprised about...

Ha! So, are you fans of Indiana Jones? It turns out that the character was actually created by Norman Rockwell... and I have proof.

So, I am a big Star Wars fan as you know, and Artoo is my favorite character. So, when I saw the trailer for Rogue One I was very happy to see Artoo was in it.

I wonder what planet that is. Alrivht, it's summer and I have been showing you bikini pics with something not so sex in the background. Here's another...

Click here to remove tag, for the love of God. So, I love kid's drawings, especially when they look no so innocent. Like this one...

"Better not be the cheap stuff." So, are you kid's playing that "Pokémon Go" game still? I am. Go, Team Instinct! Anyway, some people are not only playing but they are cashing in on the game, while others are sick of it. Like this manager of this Dairy Queen, who is just tired of your shit.

So, there's one thing you might not know about me and that is I don't like breaking rules. Unlike this guy...

Hahaha. That's Roger Earl, Phile Alum and Foghat drummer. Good job, Rog. By the way, Foghat's new CD "Under the Influence" is available on iTunes, Amazon and stores now. By the way, I knew there was something up with Lochte when I saw him reach for the wall in the pool.

And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Reasons Why Trump Won't Release His Taxes
5. His longtime accountant, Muhammad Sanchez, is an illegal-Mexican Muslim.
4. In 2005, he tried to write Melania off as a business expense.
3. There's the matter of his 2013 payment of $10,000,000 to a "Pladimir Vutin."
2. Since 1976, he's listed his occupation as "Money-Grubbing Con Man."
And the number one reason Trump won't release his taxes is...
1. If he does, he'll be expected as a devious, hypocritical, tax-dodging scum sack.

And now for some sad news...

John McLaughlin 
March 29th, 1927 — August 16th, 2016 
He made a living by yelling at people and being a know-it-all on TV for 34 years. An American hero, when you think about it. 

Fyvush Finkel 
October 9th, 1922 — August 14th, 2016
His name in yiddish was "פֿײַוויש פֿינקעל," which loosely translated means "Rat Face."

Glenn Yarbrough 
January 12th, 1930 — August 11th, 2016
From limelighter to no-lighter.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know.

Today's guest is the author of "Annals of Pornographie: How Porn Became Bad," the 51st book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club which is available on Amazon. Please welcome to the Phile... Brian Watson.

Me: Hello, Brian, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Brian: Great, Jason, thank you for having me!

Me: Okay, so, I have to admit, I first heard of you and heard about your book "Annals of Pornographie: How Porn Became Bad" was when you were on "Conan." How was that experience, Brian?

Brian: The experience from start to finish was fantastic. The "Conan" team was nothing but professional and they made it easy and fun and I had a fantastic time. Conan is amazingly tall in person but really kind and genuine.

Me: I have a cool screenshot of you on Conan I have to share...

Me: Larry King was not impressed by you, was he? It seemed he didn't really like porn at all.

Brian: I'm not sure to what extent it was for the camera and to what extent it came off, but he was funny in person and it was interesting getting to talk to him. It was a really valid question and I wish I had had a wittier response!

Me: Anyway, did they approach you or did you approach them to be on "Conan"? Being on the Phile is better, right? Hahaha.

Brian: They approached me after my AMA reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/4b2xdt/hi_reddit_my_name_is_brian_watson_and_i_am/ and I did a pitch video for them. Being on the Phile is just as good.

Me: So, I have to ask, do you think porn is really bad?

Brian: I don't really have an opinion on it one way or the other... but I am really very interested in how people deal with it and how they give it good or bad characterizations and that's really fascinating to me.

Me: Brian, where are you originally from?

Brian: I grew up in New Hampshire and I'm living back there now!

Me: You're a historian, right? What is your specialty?

Brian: I study history of the book, which focuses on how the book and the novel originated, developed and changed. 

Me: And you are a professor at New England College? What do you teach?

Brian: For the last year I've been teaching American Democracy, which is completely separate from anything I actually research but I enjoy it greatly.

Me: So, what do your co-workers and students think about the book?

Brian: Most of them find it funny! And some are interested, and some find it weird. It's a normal set of reactions.

Me: Fuck, what do your family think about the book?

Brian: My mom says it took her awhile to understand it, but as long as I'm happy she is... she also said she needs to stop googling terms I use. My dad said he's happy to help me with my research anytime! They were both in the audience at "Conan."

Me: That's cool. So, what and when did you get the idea to write this book, sir?

Brian: My MA advisor told me I needed to do something unique and interesting for my master's thesis. So I was always into censorship and why certain things got censored, but religious and political censorship have been written about forever. Sex censorship studies are relatively new and I found it interesting.

Me: How much research did you do and how long did it take to write it?

Brian: The book is an expanded form of my master's thesis. I would say all together it took about a year and a half of research and a 8 months of writing. 

Me: Have you been into porn your whole life?

Brian: I'm actually not all that much into porn! It's alright, but my real interest lies in the history and how people have dealt with those sorts of things.

Me: My first foray into porn was when my dad used to let me read the "Playboy" magazines he had in his home studio. Did you read "Playboy" growing up?

Brian: "Playboy" was actually a bit before my time... by the time I was old enough to be interested in porn and sexuality as a teenager, everything had begun to migrate to the Internet, and that was my experience with sexuality and pornography.

Me: I'm sooo old. Haha. I think the last copy of "Playboy" I ever bought was the Debbie Gibson one. Anyway, this year "Playboy" changed its whole format... what do you think of that? No boobies anymore!

Brian: I've read a great deal of "Playboy" articles... I love long form journalism... so I'm interested and hopeful to see where it goes. I find it really interesting that they're using this reputation is a completely different way to draw people to an intellectual and sort of high-brow ideas and interviews primarily. It's really similar to what Vice media is doing.

Me: If someone would of told me years ago that one day I'll have "porn in my pocket"... like on my iPhone I wouldn't believe it. Porn is free and so easy to get to now. It's not taboo like it used to be. Do you think that hurts the industry or helps it, Brian?

Brian: It definitely hurts the industry as a whole. You should look into the #payforyourporn movement, as DVD and site payments have crashed and burned it's been very hard for the industry to survive and thrive. There is still good money in it, especially in niche or fetish websites, but it is much more complicated than it used to be. On the flip side it's much easier for individual stars to start their own fan base and to get direct payment and attention from fans. It's definitely a mixed bag.

Me: What do you think of sites like Pornhub? It think it's fantastic! Haha.

Brian: It's a great site if you don't start digging too deep. MindGeek/ManWin is the owner of Pornhub, not to mention an overwhelming proportion of other sites. This means that tube-site pornography is essentially a monopoly controlled by one company and it is concerning for companies as well as people involved. More here: slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2014/10/mindgeek_porn_monopoly_its_dominance_is_a_cautionary_tale_for_other_industries.html.

Me: With the smart phones and apps like Snapchat and technology like Facebook Live anybody can make porn movies now. Do you think a lot of people are doing that?

Brian: I actually have no idea! I bet they probably are though.

Me: Your book is like history of porn, Brian. What is the earliest forms of it? Do you know?

Brian: Well, "porn" as we understand it has a relatively limited history of only about a century and a half. It refers to a type of erotic work or literature that was supposed to be hidden from the lower classes, women and children. You can of course trace "erotic depictions" all the way back to the earliest cafe drawings and sculptures, but that isn't porn. The earliest porn is likely John Cleland's "Fanny Hill" or "Justine" by Marquis de Sade.

Me: What kinda of porn are you into?

Brian: I plead the fifth!

Me: Smart man. Do you think porn will be around forever?

Brian: So long as we're human, undoubtedly.

Me: Okay, so, I have to ask, what's the difference between smut and porn?

Brian: A lot would depend on how you are using those terms. But perhaps you mean the difference between hard and soft core or titillating or sexy and the difference between those two things is really.

Me: America is so much more conservative about nudity and sex on a whole than Europe is. I'm from England and they don't blur out breasts on TV like they do over here. Is there another country more liberal than Europe is?

Brian: It's strange, and I agree with you. America is very liberal about blood, violence and gore whereas those things are more taboo in Europe. Of the European countries, France is probably the most liberal sexually and England the most conservative, believe it or not. However, outside of Europe and American I actually don't know what is the most liberal country.

Me: Okay, so, the book is self published, am I right? Did you shop it around and no one wanted a part of it?

Brian: I'm still shopping it around, I just decided to self-publish to get attention because a lot of agents cant or don't want to deal with the material because it is sexual.

Me: I have to ask where the name came from... it's a pun, isn't it? Very clever, Brian.

Brian: Indeed.

Me: So, will you be writing any other books?

Brian: I have a few ideas for follow-ups, but I'm focusing on some shorter-term pieces for now. Keep up to date on me at @historyofporn on Twitter.

Me: Okay, so, I have to ask... video or still pictures for research? What do you prefer?

Brian: For research purposes, it's much easier to research an older photo, and a more modern video. Otherwise, it gets more complicated and the rights around them get more obscure.

Me: Brian, I have a million other questions for you but I don't wanna take to much of your time. Tell the readers where they can get your book. I mentioned Amazon, I hope that's right. Haha.

Brian: You can get me on Amazon here: amazon.com/Annals-Pornographie-How-Porn-Became-ebook/dp/B01CMU51V8 on Nook here: barnesandnoble.com/w/annals-of-pornographie-brian-watson/1123493577?type=eBook.

Me: Okay, please come back on the Phile again. Will you?

Brian: Of course! Thanks for having me!

Me: Thanks for coming here. I hope this was fun. Continued success, Brian. All the best.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Brian for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Nicholas Johnston, the lead singer for the New Zealand band Cut Off Your Hands. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker