Monday, February 15, 2016

Pheaturing Joey Bunick From Original Sharks

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday... President's Day. I don't even think being president cold get me to give a crap about President's Day. President's Day os just another Monday I'm celebrating Sarah Palin not being president. On this day, let's honor only a few of our nation's presidents. Anyway, what is going on?
The Hanoi Bike Shop, a Vietnamese restaurant in Glasgow, Scotland, made a poster for a noodle night that a few members of the public felt was offensive. They were upset because the poster featured the words "Phat Phuc," but the "offensive" phrase actually means something in Vietnamese. The words are pronounced "Fet Fook" in Vietnamese, and translate to "Happy Buddha". The poster has been cleared by the U.K.'s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), so those that found it offensive can go "happy" right off. Here is the poster..

It looks like noodles and a good sense of humor win this round. When restaurants want to have some fun with their signage, they'll always find a way.
Joaquín García was a civil servant who, theoretically, supervised a wastewater treatment plant in Cadiz, Spain... but did not show to work for at least six years. His superiors discovered he had not been showing up to work when they were preparing to give him an award for 20 years of service. The former Deputy Mayor of Cadiz, Jorge Blas Fernández, told the newspaper "El Mundo" that he began the investigation when city officials talked to Garcia's coworkers in in preparation for the 20-year award ceremony. It didn't take much talking to the people who did show up to work to discover that Joaquín hadn't been seen at the water utility much (or at all) after transferring there from city hall.
Maybe they swung by the water plant to get a few roast jokes from his coworkers for his award ceremony. Then they learned the funniest part about working with Joaquín is that he's never around. In any case, when the deputy mayor called in García to inquire why he had not been seen at work, perhaps the most insulting part was how the absent employee did not even have any elaborate excuses prepared. "I asked him, 'What are you doing? What did you do yesterday? And the previous month?' He could not answer." If you get called into an office after not showing up for work for six years, at least try a lame excuse, like alien abduction. He didn't even have a mop sitting at his desk wearing sunglasses. Nothing. However, it turns out he may have been skipping work for a reason. This case became public knowledge after the city sued García and he fought them in court. It recently ended with García being fined a little over $30,000. They found he had not occupied his office for six years, and had done no work between 2007 and 2010. During the case, García alleged that he had been the victim of workplace bullying because he favored socialist politics. The city of Cadiz was ruled by the conservative Popular Party from 1995 to 2015, and may have fostered a hostile work environment for García, according to the case. Either way, his final fine was the equivalent of one year's salary, which is a pretty low price for doing no work for six years. Ultimately, this case has probably caused a surge of applications at water treatment facilities throughout Spain from others hoping to take a six-year siesta nap from their job.
The Cruz campaign has pulled an ad attacking Marco Rubio after discovering that the actress featured in the ad, Amy Lindsay, has appeared in several sexually themed films and TV movies.
Here is a list of movies and TV shows that have featured Lindsay. See if you can guess which one was not an erotic role... Carnal Wishes, Bachelor Night, Sex Sent Me to the ER (Note: gross), Gone Dark, Celebrity Sex Tape, ​Animal Lust (Note: gross?), Milf, ​Deviant Whores, Sin City Diaries, The Erotic Traveler, Sex Games, Vegas Insatiable Obsession (Note: fancy phrase for a softcore skin flick?), The Sex Spa II: Body Work ​(Note: the sequel is not as good as the original.) Kinky Sex Club (Note: are there non-kinky sex clubs?) Bad Business, Bikini Airways (Note: exactly what it sounds like), Radio Erotica,​ Pleasure Zone: Volume 2 (Note: not as good as Volume 1.) Secrets of a Chambermaid, (Note: gross.) "Star Trek: Voyager" (Note: For those "Star Trek" nerds out there, it was an episode from 2001 entitled "Endgame.") The Cruz campaign is really trying to run a squeaky-clean campaign. Actions like this may be why Cruz's college roommate really, really doesn't like his personality. I want to see what this Amy Lindsay looks like...

Not bad, not bad at all. And she wrote a book so maybe I can have her on the Phile.
Guess who's trying to keep you from listening to Kanye's new album. That's right, Martin Shkreli, the pharmaceutical executive who became our nation's biggest asshole when he hiked up the cost of a crucial medication for AIDS patients last year, tried to buy the recordings of Kanye West's new album "The Life of Pablo" to keep them from ever being released. He's either embracing his image as a supervillain or parodying himself to try to be funny. It's probably the latter, and it actually is very funny, especially since he would 100 percent go through with the deal if West was interested (that's what comedians call "commitment to the bit"). After all, he's the person who famously spent millions to buy the only copy of the Wu-Tang Clan's "Once Upon a Time in Shaolin" only to hoard it for himself. Of course, even though he's funny, he still hiked up the cost of an essential AIDS medication by 5000 percent for no other reason besides the fact he could. So he has good and bad sides.
Ryan Reynolds fell for his wife Blake Lively while they were on a double date with other people. He recounted the story to "People" as part of an interview in conjunction with SiriusXM. Not surprisingly, Reynolds said it really sucked for the other two people on the double date, "About a year after Green Lantern had come and gone and we were both single we went on a double date... she was on a date with another guy and I was on a date with another girl... and it was like the most awkward date for the respective parties because we were just like fireworks coming across." Reynolds also thinks it helps to be friends before you become lovers. "We were buddies for a long time, which I think is the best way to have a relationship, to start as friends." It also helps if have lots in common, like being famous and attractive. Despite their fantastic relationship, he does admit that he was super annoying during the birth of their first child. Speaking of Blake Lively, real quick, she posted a photo to her Instagram of her shoe closet, and let's just say this... Blake Lively is a very thin woman, which means that approximately 1,000 Blake Livelys could stand-up in her shoe closet and be as comfortable as you are on public transportation during rush hour. Check it out, Sam.

Her closet even features what looks to be a tiny Anna Wintour looking up at her from a tray. If Blake Lively wasn't Blake Lively, that would be a great place to store her weed.
So, you know I am a big Star Wars fan, right. A lot of people said the new movie wasn't that original, and it turns out it wasn't...

This was taken from a pyramid in Egypt from a thousand years ago. Haha. One thing I thought was odd about the new movie was the product placement that had no right being there.

That makes no sense. Have you seen the new Marco Rubio doll? No? Well, you're in luck, kids.

Fantastic, right? Haha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...

Haha. Here's another pic that shows why presidential candidates really shouldn't pose with kids.

"Twice. That's how many times your parents can each vote." Okay, you know I live in Florida, well, there's some strange things that happen in Florida that happen no where else in the Universe. That's why I have a pheature called...

Here's a different kinda story... Orlando woman Jessica Pack got really into fitness last June when she saw a picture of herself where she thought she looked like a "whale" (ugh, harsh) and decided she needed a change in her life. She started Kayla Itsines’s Bikini Body and began to record her progress on Instagram, under the (awesome) username plankingforpizza.

Pack (who really should consider changing her middle name to "Six" because those abs are sick) now has over 50,000 Instagram followers, although she told BuzzFeed she was never in it for the followers. Her plan was just to "document [her] fitness journey and remain accountable to [her] goals by being vulnerable and putting [herself] out there.” But with a username like "plankingforpizza" how could you not follow? Pack, like every fitness enthusiast on Instagram, posts lots of pictures of her body—that's the whole point of those accounts. But last week she decided to post a side-by-side picture as though it were a "before/after" shot.

In truth, these two pictures were taken just 30 seconds apart, and the only genuine difference is her posture. Surprise! Just like TV and movies, not everything you see on social media is actually "real." Pack told BuzzFeed that she posted the pictures “so that other girls don’t feel alone in their own insecurities.” It's also a great way to show just how easy it is to manipulate what people see on Instagram... just like in real life, framing is everything.

That story was stupid... well, not the story, it had nothing to do with Florida, just that Jessica Pack is from Orlando. Oh, well, I'm tired, so leave me alone. Alright, here's the Mindphuck...

I'm sure you can figure it out. Let me know if you do.

President's Day
President's Day is an annual U.S. holiday honoring those in the market for a new mattress or car.

The 45h book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Richard will be a guest on the Phile next Sunday.

Alright, today's guest is the lead singer in the punk band Original Sharks whose latest single is called "Capital Size." Please welcome to the Phile... Joey Bunick.

Me: Hey, Joey, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Joey: Excellent! Thanks for having us. We hope you're well as well.

Me: Okay, so, you guys are Original Sharks... is that because there's other bands called Sharks? 

Joey: Unfortunately no particular reference to sharks. Original Sharks is in fact a reference to this variation of dodgeball that Jared and I used to play at summer camp growing up. Two members from each team would start behind the opposite team, catching loose balls, and getting opponents out from behind. Those dudes were original sharks.

Me: So, why that animal? A shark in an animal I think... or is it a fish? Do you know?

Joey: I think they're mammals. Dolphins and whales are already mammals, kinda want sharks to just be fish.

Me: So, which one of you named the band?

Joey: It was me!

Me: Joey, you're the founder of the band, am I right? How long has the band been together?

Joey: A pal of mine in college started it as a recording project around 2010. Wasn't actually a band until a year ago.

Me: The band is based in NYC, but you're not all from there I don't think. Are you?

Joey: No, I was born here, but Jared and I grew up in Allentown. Mikel and Dan in Lexington, MA.  

Me: I have to ask, what do you think of Billy Joel's song "Allentown"?

Joey: Great song! He has some better ones. I can really use a nice break from Joel right now though. Too much Joel going on around me lately.

Me: So, how did you all become in the band?

Joey: I was actually using my demos to procure a drummer for years. Finally I sold my personal electric drum kit to a Mr. Dan Garmon. I asked "happen to be into punk?" Mr. Garmon replies,  "Absolutely." I think we met up to play through the demo the next week, after that we each recruited childhood pals Jared and Mike.

Me: How long has the band been together?

Joey: One year.

Me: Oh, right, you said that. I looked for your music on iTunes but couldn't find it. You have had other releases, am I right?

Joey: We did. Gotta see what happened to that old stuff. Have our single "Capital Size" up now w/ B-side "Ambrosius" though.

Me: You guys are a very cool punk band... who are your influences?

Joey: Thank you! I'd say collectively the Saves the Day, Hey Mercedes, Jimmy Eat World early 2000s wave kinda caught all of attention. But pretty diverse background; Jared and I have the whole Allentown music thing that was always so vibrant growing up. Dan is a classical pianist and is into literally everything. Mikel is jazz trained too and is into a ton of different stuff but also gravitating towards pop-punk.

Me: I am guessing the Ramones as well... did you guys ever see them live or are you all too young? 

Joey: All too young.

Me: I saw them live once with Frank Black opening for them. It was a cool show! Do you guys see a lot of concerts?

Joey: That sounds unreal. We do!

Me: Have you opened for anybody cool?

Joey: Yeah, we've had a few really fun opportunities. We've played with Such Gold, Captain We're Sinking, and the Ataris all in the last year.

Me: You play a lot of shows around NYC... are you guys planning on touring outside NY?

Joey: We hope so!

Me: So, what has been the best show you have played so far?

Joey: We played a really fun show at Bowery Electric with Living Decent (Florida) and Community of Living Things (Such Gold bassist Jon Markson; acoustic). Was great playing with our pals.

Me: Alright, I love the single "Capital Size" but what does that mean?

Joey: Just kinda fit the vibe when we finished writing it. Our titles are all pretty separated from the lyrical content of what a song might be conveying.

Me: You guys are coming out with your first full-length release called "Dirty Little Weekend." How did that song get to be the album title?

Joey: I think because we started saying "Absolutely, Baby" and calling people "Dirty Little Baby" all the time. Already had a song called ending in "Baby" though. "Dirty Little Weekend" started to ironically (but not ironically) describe our weekends of partying and practicing.

Me: So, who does the main songwriting in the band?

Joey: I typically come up with some basic skeleton structure, but it's not always the case. Everyone brings their own ideas to the table and proposes changes. The lyrics are mostly me with the usual suggestions from everyone.

Me: What can you tell us about the new album?

Joey: New album is very exciting. Some of the album was written and demo'd before we were a full band but most of it we wrote together. I see it as celebrating this transition of going from this recording project to putting together this awesome team.

Me: I have to ask, who is the poor bastard on the single cover?

Joey: That is I.

Me: One of you has a t-shirt in your promo pic... is that a Led Zeppelin tshirt? I cannot tell. 

Joey: Exploding Hearts actually!

Me: Is that one of you guys favorite bands?

Joey: Jared and Mikel definitely dig them pretty hard.

Me: What about Foghat? Haha.

Joey: The drummer used to manage my friends childhood band!

Me: Hmmmm. Alright, so, when the album comes out will you guys come back on the Phile? 

Joey: Absolutely, Baby.

Me: Okay, go ahead and mention your website and anything else you wanna.


Me: Cool. Take care, keep rocking and come back here soon.

Joey: Thanks, dude!

That about does it for this entry. Thanks to Joey for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Sunday with author Richard Adams Carey. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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