Monday, December 8, 2014

Pheaturing Joshua Bauer

Hey, kids, how are you? I am okay... fighting a migraine again so we'll see how this entry goes. I should be resting, but instead here I am working on this blog. You're welcome. Haha.  Let's start with some Taylor Swift news, shall we?  Time Magazine has announced that pop musician Taylor Swift is included... alongside Apple CEO Tim Cook, the Ferguson protesters and the Ebola medical caregivers on their shortlist for their annual Person of the Year honor. She has also been named as the most powerful woman in the British media by the Guardian. In retrospect, that song "Shake It Off" is pretty catchy, so I guess this makes sense. I love that fucking song. If Taylor Swift is Time Magazine's Person of the Year, the terrorists haven't won. They'll just have to wait for next year for another shot.  Tardar Sauce, the two-year-old feline performer more commonly known as Grumpy Cat, has earned nearly $100 million dollars in book sales, performance fees and ad dollars since being introduced to the Internet in September 2012. Think long and hard about that while you're juggling your finances to pay rent at the end of this holiday season. Grumpy Cat earned more than Gwyneth Paltrow in 2014. Also, Grumpy Cat has a sunnier disposition.  This is something I am sure I'll talk with Jeff about on Thursday's entry... Carolina Panthers tight end Brandon Williams was ejected from yesterday's game against the New Orleans Saints after he was seen throwing punching during a huge brawl that broke out in the first quarter. Unfortunately, that was pretty much the last exciting thing to happen in the game, as the Panthers went on to embarrass the Saints on their home turf with a 41-10 win. The thing about watching football is even if you're not interested in the game, at least the players are still terrible people.  Mark Wahlberg filed a formal petition with the state of Massachusetts to be pardoned for having bashed a Korean store owner in the head so badly that he permanently lost sight in one eye while yelling racial epithets at him back in 1988. "I am deeply sorry for the actions that I took on the night of April 8, 1988, as well as for any lasting damage I may have caused the victims," Wahlberg stated in the petition. Unfortunately, this is as close to an actual apology as he has ever issued to the guy whose head he smashed in. Mark Wahlberg pointing out that he used to be a violent racist in this current climate seems like a bad move. Just saying'.  It's hard to believe that a food that is made up of dozens of tiny pieces of hyper-sweet french toast drowned in a bowl of rich, fattening milk could ever be pulled from America's store shelves, but that's exactly what happened eight years ago when General Mills inexplicably discontinued its French Toast Crunch cereal. The Fortune 500 corporation is righting that great wrong now, announcing that the deliciously unhealthy breakfast product will once again be contributing to the country's continued obesity and diabetes problems starting in January. I never heard of this cereal but I am gonna have to try it out.  I mentioned Taylot Swift at the start of this entry... well, I have been telling you this for week's now, Disney is cashing in on the Taylor Swift craze by rereleasing their classic animated movies but replacing the princesses with Taylor. Here's the latest...

What is that film? The Princess and the Frog, am I right? Never saw it.  Today is the anniversary of John Lennon's death and even though everyone thinks Chapman killed him that might not the the case.

It must be true otherwise Stephen King would of sued. Right? I don't know if I really want to look at that website.  Christmas is right around the corner and I am showing you some real products you can buy from Amazon.

Magnetic anomalies, like when another human is drawn to someone who owns this.  There's a company that is making pre-written gift tags in case you can't think what to write. Here's another one...

And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, here is...

Top Phive Holiday Apps You Probably Won't Need
5. Camel Finder: Need a last-minute star for that live nativity scene? Well, now you have an app that shows you all the camel dealers and exotic pet stores in your area.
4. Fake Kringle Detection: Advanced facial recognition technology allows you to find out of that mall Santa is the real St. Nick or one of his many frauds just claiming to be him. 
3. English-to-FOX: The handy translator that helps you phrase your heartfelt holiday wishes without inadvertently furthering the War on Christmas.
2. Scantune: This valuable tool scans the in-store radio systems of area department stores and tell you where that Chipmunks Christmas song is currently being played, so you'll know what spots to avoid.
And the number one holiday app you probably won't need is...
1. Nog-Saver Ideas: Don't toss out that rancid carton of eggnog until you check out those unique recipes that specifically call for expired dairy products!

This is a stupid one but kinda hot. Let me know if you spot the Mindphuck. 

"The Catcher in the Rye" 
"The Catcher in the Rye" is a 1951 J.D. Salinger novel, apparently about how you should shoot John Lennon.

Today's guest is the 31st artist to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallery, and lives right here in Orlando. Please welcome to the Phile... Joshua Bauer.

Me: Hey, Josh, welcome to the Phile, man. How are you? 

Joshua: I am doing great! Thank you for having me! 

Me: I live in Clermont, Florida and you're based in Florida as well, right? What part? 

Joshua: I am! I live in Longwood. Just a bit north of Orlando. 

Me: So, how many times have you been to Acme Superstore?  

Joshua: I have been to Acme several times as a customer, but as a artist I have done three of their events. I was just there yesterday in fact. 

Me: Believe it or not, I only have been there twice. I go to Heroes Landing here in Clermont, have you been there? 

Joshua: I haven’t made it out there yet. I do follow them on Facebook though! It looks like a great place to check out. 

Me: You must be a big comic book fan judging from your artwork, am I right? 

Joshua: I am! I have read comics off and on ever since I was little. 

Me: So, DC or Marvel? 

Joshua: I am a fan of both, but if I had to pick one it would have to be Marvel. I have a few more favorite characters with Marvel. Spider-Man being my favorite of all of them. 

Me: I am a huge Marvel fan, but I love "Watchmen" so with that being said, I love your Rorschach painting. Is that the only "Watchmen" piece you have done? Why did you choose Rorschach? I'm glad you did, he's a really cool character. 

Joshua: Thank you! It is the only “Watchmen” character that I have done. Actually that was a commissioned painting for someone who loved “Watchmen”. After I finished it, I never heard back from them and they never paid for it. So I loved how it came out so much I decided to make a print of it. 

Me: So, who is your favorite comic book artist, Joshua? Who do you look up to? 

Joshua: My favorite comic book artist is J. Scott Campbell. I just love his drawing style. I am also a big fan of Amanda Conner. I really love how they draw the female characters. They make them look beautiful and strong at the same time. 

Me: How long have you been an artist? 

Joshua: I have been doing art professionally for about two years now. 

Me: Have you always drawn since you were a kid? 

Joshua: I think I started drawing when I was in fourth or fifth grade. Just doodling around with different things. It wasn't until high school when I realized that I had some talent. I took as many different art classes as I could. 

Me: What medium do you prefer and use? 

Joshua: My favorite medium is acrylic paints on canvas. All of the prints that you see on my site are of my paintings. I feel like I have a lot more freedom with paint. Even mistakes can turn in to something great when it comes to painting. 

Me: Myself, I like drawing with Sharpies. Anyway, you do a lot of different styles and things, and I wanna get into them all. You paint some really cool comic book theme paintings. What one was your favorite and one what one was your first? 

Joshua: My first comic book themed painting, and probably one of my biggest to date, is “The Web-Slinger” ("The Amazing Spider-Man"). As for my favorite painting that is always a hard question to answer. I would have to say my Harley Quinn painting called “Arkham’s Favorite Jester”. 

Me: Yeah, I know a lot of people who'd like this one...

Me: How long does it take you to do one painting, Joshua? 

Joshua: It really depends on the painting. If it is agreeing with me or not. Haha! The quickest I have done one was three days. The longest and most argumentative piece was my “The Saints” painting, based off The Boondock Saints films. That one took about three months or so. I actually had to take a break from it and hide it for a month. 

Me: Do you just do one at a time? 

Joshua: I usually work on at least two paintings at a time, sometimes three. I will do a certain color on one and while that dries I will work on another one. 

Me: Another thing you do is get a comic book with a blank cover and draw your own cover. I notice you drew Stitch as Batman, Deadpool and Wolverine. So, are you a big Stitch fan? 

Joshua: I love Stitch! He is my favorite Disney character of all time! I like that he has a good heart, but is still a bit of a trouble maker. I relate to him a lot! 

Me: He's one of my favorite characters as well and I used to collect Stitch pins at Disney. I have over 200 I think. Anyway, is being a comic book artist something you'd love to do one day? 

Joshua: I don’t think so. I don’t really have the attention span to work on one thing that long. Haha! I also like painting more than drawing. I think what I would really like to do is just get known well enough, so that I could travel around the country to different conventions and sell my work.

Me: I have to be honest, man, I laughed when I saw you get a Mike's Hard Lemonade Bottle, and paint it and turn it into a lamp. That is very creative. What kinda paints do you use, and how did you come up with that idea? 

Joshua: Thank you! I was bored one night and was trying to figure out just something different to do. I had some empty bottles around and started messing around. All of the bottles are done with acrylic paint. 

Me: Do you drink Mike's Hard Lemonade? Personally, I'd rather have a beer.

Joshua: Actually, I don’t drink at all. 

Me: I love those Pop! vinyl figures that are everywhere now. There seems to be hundreds of them, and there's a few I wanna collect. I do have a Doc Manhattan and Rorachach one I had to get. You found a blank one and painted it to look like Superboy and Robin. I have to show the Robin one...

Me: Why did you pick those two characters? 

Joshua: I have done a few of those. I also have done Spider-Man, Deadpool, Indiana Jones, and most recently Daredevil. I chose Superboy and Robin because I was watching a lot of “Young Justice” at the time. 

Me: Did you use acrylic paint on those as well? 

Joshua: Yes, sir! 

Me: Were they hard to paint? 

Joshua: Oh ya! The ones I used for Deadpool, Spider-Man, and Superboy were a pain to paint because you could not take them apart. So you have to try to get the brush in every small nook and cranny. Robin and Daredevil were a bit easier because I found some that you can take the head and arms off. They are all a bit difficult though due to all the small details you have to put in to make them look just right. 

Me: Hey, I noticed we have some mutual friends on Facebook... Jim Colbert, Thomas Vann and Danielle Gransaull... I interviewed her but she had a different last name then. Did she get married? She must've. Anyway, what other artists do you know? Do you know Michael Banks from Suger Fueled? I should introduce you two. 

Joshua: Not sure about Danielle getting married or not. I don’t think I have met Michael yet. I have met a lot of artists. I went to MegaCon for a few years as a fan before doing the cons as an artist. So I have met J. Scott Campbell, Amanda Conner, Jimmy Palmiotti, Scott Blair, and I don’t know how many more. 

Me: Josh, have you done a lot of conventions? Is that something you gonna be doing? 

Joshua: I just started doing conventions last year. I did about five or six last year. I already have a lot booked for next year. This year I will be at MegaCon, Space Coast Nerd, Ocala Comic Con, and Tampa Bay Comic Con. Hopefully I will be able to book a few more before the end of the year. 

Me: Are you married? What does your wife think about your art? 

Joshua: I actually got married this October. My wife is a huge supporter of what I do and comes to most of the conventions with me. Once in a while she will say that I have been painting too much and we need to go on a date night, but other than that she is a great partner in my art career. 

Me: Alright, man, on the Phile I ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics. Ready? Is it more difficult for you to speak kindly or honestly? Man, that's a good one. 

Joshua: That is a good one! I have to say it is more difficult to speak kindly. I am a very honest person and I don’t like things to be sugar coated. I tell it like it is. 

Me: Josh, thanks for being on the Phile. Please come back soon, and keep working. Oh, plug your website where readers can buy your work.

Joshua: Will do! Thank you again for having me and I would love to come back anytime! Plugs! Follow me on Facebook at, Instagram at JBAUERART, and to purchase my work head to

Me: Take care, Josh. I hope this was fun. 

Joshua: You too! I had a great time and hope your readers enjoy!

That about does it for this entry. Thanks to Joshua Bauer for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Thursday with Phile Alum Mark Dean from Dark Mean. Then on Sunday it's Mike Louttit from Fractal Control and Monday it's singer Lindsay Mac. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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